This is not necessary given and what he says .... it can also be that you are simply not compatible. That does not always mean that the other person treats you badly, but that your counterpart is not doing or able to do what you wish for, need etc. because he/ she is a different personality.
Happens. You feel ignored, unwanted, not cared for! No one's that busy to not have a look at your texts or tell you about their day for just a few minutes. These relationships are just convenience driven. People give affection only when they're in a mood to receive it back as well. Otherwise, nothing special exists b/w you two. It's just a normal mundane event made so special by us in our heads!
It’s something in you that you must realize she is only there to show you the symptoms Hope this will give you strength that you need to move on n to realize you need work on yourself first before getting into another relationship
I made my Man felt like this years ago. Till i realize how precious my family n i won't be with them forever. I hate my self for what i've done to him. Thanksfully he's not surender
Same, but even if was young again and was told this I’d still make the same mistake because when we’re young we all think people might change. No matter the advice we get. Being older you know they won’t change and you accept it so well that you couldn’t care any less if the other person changes because you’ve already moved on as soon as they demonstrated just one red flag.
@@IGIG-m4ulove even for a moment never leaves someone. It hurts, feels good, feels bad, makes happiness, causes anger...it never leaves anyone. Love is forever in everyone. Together or not.
@@monicaromero7001 Value yourself and your self worth, you will attract the right person for you. Wishing you peace and good health. Stay positive and strong ✨
Facts. This is why i carry Humility within me. Nobody can become my friend much less my best friend if they cannot sit with me and see me for who i really am.
People probably dont understand the video.... Some people may be very charismatic and good, person and amybe even have very good heart.......but not right person for you, because they either live in very different country, or his parents expect him to date different type than you...or he does a job that is too far from your job.....or the person has so much work that this moment he isnt thinking about dating someone because wants to be loyal and not poutting pressure on someone, if he isnt serious at the moment....... Matthew never said in the video that the person is narcissistic or selfish......People tranlate his message in very selfish ways. because they dont listen.....thye authomatically say in comments that teh person ois narcissist etc. People need to grow up and stop seeing black and white thinking...He ment that its different "someone makes you feel something" and what you really feel at the moment.
@@alenaadamkova7617not necessarily. He's simply stating that, if the person that you admire, care for or love.. doesn't see you or treat you the same way....then you gotta move on.
This really hit home. I married a guy who was all those things-funny, charismatic, extroverted, charming, & intelligent. But he was not like that with me in my marriage. I was so lonely and neglected in my marriage (28 years, 5 kids), but I stayed for the kids. I have learned that you need to feel loved, valued, and cherished before marriage. I didn’t know that then. I also know now that we shouldn’t expect things to get better. Thank you, Matt, for your wise counsel! I love hearing what you have to say!
Many prestigious research studies show very clearly that it's never healthy to stay together for the kids... they know exactly what's going on and their energy is being affected negatively on so many levels... when couples stay together for the kids they are ensuring the same destiny for them in a loveless joyless marriage. It's better to be from a broken home than live in one, trust and believe!!
Marriage is duty and honor. Not entirely on feelings. See women change their feelings daily, like habits. Men don’t. And you just said neglected 28 years, why you having more children with this person? You knew within first 3-5 years what kind of man he was, no responsibility for your actions? You wanted that kind of man. And like most women because you couldn’t tame him in the way you wanted or he do things your way. Women shut down, technically already divorced in their head and stay for children is sickening, your kids should be ashamed for using another person in this manner. Women love to say it’s him, I’d love to hear his side of events. I am not saying he isn’t this or that, but typically women have incentives too be a boss azz b past 60-80 years instead of actual mother and wife being the anchor serving and rewarding and fulfilling in that happiness. 50+ years of marriage is a successful marriage, 80% divorce is caused and filed by women. I think society wants you to be unhappy so they can sell you bs you don’t need that really takes energy and actual life from family values. Should you feel good yes, but you are not happy every Day or every year. That’s okay, you work at it with a commitment of duty honor and responsibility and accountability by serving one another. Compromising in some areas not all. Its not 50-50, both give 100%, take turns 70-30% days but keep going. Ultimately only one chief per household, decide stick with it woman or man leading. But don’t feel beneath one another with final say, it’s a lifetime commitment, not competition it’s complimentary.
@@malakhi08 Why did we stay, you ask? Certainly NOT for "competition". Wives are busy, making 3 meals a day, taking care of sick children, shopping, mending clothes, doing laundry, homeschooling. We don't have time to analyze every crazy thing our narcissist husband pulls, but try to keep a peaceful home for our children until the narcissist nonsense is INTOLERABLE.
This is so true. I was in a 10 year relationship with a super intelligent, funny, handsome and charismatic as the guy mentioned. I thought God had answered my prayers But soon the sadness and anxiety and loneliness and disappointment in myself that I felt was too much. It has been 15 years since I left him and unfortunately I have not really moved on. There has been Noone else, I have not been able to extend myself to another person. So now I am old, noolonger physically attractive, no family, no kids, another level of loneliness. I hope people take the distinction you make here to heart to give yourself a chance at a good life.
This sounds like what a friend of mine is going through. Except she has been married for longer. She also has no children, and didn’t want them necessarily, but her “biological clock” is almost tic-tocked out. She said she can’t see children with her spouse because she doesn’t feel loved, or appreciated. She is pondering therapy or divorce. But said she feels like therapy may be a waste of time/money. If you had to do it all over again, would you have made the same choice?
@@blackeneddove time is a precious asset, it's one that can't be replaced. I would make the same decision again for the experience and growth, but not waste as much time. Therapy will only work for your friend if both parties are equally invested and it doesn't sound like that's the case. 😢
Well...children are not harp strumming angels that in their presence you will feel a sense of never ending joy with a cool light shining like a Star!! It be a great Blessing IF sweet Children didn't drop off grand children at your doorsteps n return after 18yrs with a junkie partner! Or swindle your last dime to support a terrorists organisation...or soaked their kidneys in alcohol to be in the Dialysis Club.... Common keep it real... Adults!
This is the best explanation I’ve ever heard about a relationship because you stay seeing the good traits and telling yourself you can deal with their shit remarks emotional abuse and lack of any intimacy thanks for sharing this
I needed to hear this. I felt this in my 5 year relationship. I have been away for 4 months now, and leaving him was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I have days of depression where I blame myself. I question what I could have done differently . I need to realize that life has better things for me, and we just weren't meant for each other.
Honey you probably saved your life. Trust your gut. My sister left her husband, he was violent , found out that he 're married only to be divorced and he served 15 yrs in prison for manslaughter.
You have to be able to separate how you feel about someone from how someone makes you feel, when you realize the difference that's the reality of your relationship.
I'm currently in a relationship with a guy who pursued me for a while. We worked next door to each other that's how we met. He's always been kind and would help me out in different ways. For example when my ride home was gone and I was stranded after working an overnight shift he came to get me. Things like that no money just simple favors. So we decided to see what it could be. I'm a homebody I work and go home since my husband passed away. So a month or so ago I got off Tim came to pick me up. However he didn't go towards my home he said he was taking me somewhere. Long story short he took me on a shopping spree. I was anxious about it but he kept reassuring me everything was OK and telling me how he felt about me. He also introduced me to his sister and we all went out to eat. It was very nice honestly even though I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. A few weeks later he quit his job no longer has a vehicle or a phone. I don't feel like he's trying to get up on his feet. I feel like he's using me. We have awesome conversations and he is very supportive. I struggle and fall short and need help so I understand. But this situation has been going on now over a month and is beginning to overshadow the things about him that I was attracted to. Can anyone shed light on this matter. How long do you stay with someone like this. Is it a rough patch or a revelation of the real person.
Omg 😲 100% Truthful You hit that like the hammer 🔨 Hitting the nail in 😢 This is my life right now 💔😖 This was powerful 👏 seriously Went straight through my intire body Like lightning 🌩 ⚡⚡⚡ I need your prayers 🙏🏼
Reading your comment, I can say your'e a good women, just wait and be calm unitel the right persons come into your life even if it takes a long time, I can say your'e a strong person and strong human being is always calm. Have a good day!
Hi... I am going through the same thing. I feel so guilty and sad for ending things. I was always miserable and lonely with him. How long did it take for you to feel better? Thank you
@@dijanab.3568everyone is different. It might take someone to heal in a few weeks where another months to years. Depending on the relationship. I would think if you were already miserable and lonely it shouldn’t take that long. We all have these experiences that we need to learn from. I believe there was a propose for anyone that comes in and out of our lives. Maybe at one point in your life you needed each other and for Lessons to be learned. When you find the right man who will bring that happiness to you and it will feel so right you will never think of your ex again. Just I can’t believe I stayed with that guy. Good luck
Incredible how Matthew just described my last relationship that literally just ended 2 days ago. I pray for healing and restoration, as i pray for his as well. For everyone who is on the journey of mending a troubled heart, God bless you too.
This adds to the video comment perfectly. So, what do I do with it? We're "friends", I want more, but he doesn't see me that way. Sounds like I have to give up the "friendship "...since it's not truly.😢
Hey, i think honestly, the first thing to think about was this conversation had from the beginning because there are two different answers based on my question. If in the beginning ya'll decided that ya'll would be friends and grow from there you should end the friendship but if ya'll was never on the same page which means he just wanted to be friends alone from the beginning and you alone wanted to be more with him in the future, I think ya'll should definitely stay friends especially if he is a good friend to you . Lastly if you have too much feelings for him where you have to be in a relationship and can't just be his friend you have to cut your losses so that you can move on and after you heal maybe ya'll can be friends then. @robincrego4222
My best friend helped me be a better person just by association. How he acted or reacted to situations was so calm and respectful. He passed suddenly but the 3 years we had together made me a way better and happier person.
That definitely sent shockwaves. I have been there before and I know people in the same position. I’m glad I walked away from a person that was not right for me. They told me I was what they could imagine one day if they were right with themselves. I took that as they are not the one for me because I am ready for a love today. Now I have found a man who is ready for love. ❤ He pours into me more then I pour into him and myself. It’s a breath of fresh air to meet a man that is emotionally available.
Believe people when they show you who they are. I can still remember, decades later, the moment that I realized that I wasn't cherished, and that I never would be. It was the beginning of the end.
This is how my husband & I felt when meeting one another. if you feel wanted, respected, peaceful, faithful and good communication. do they make you feel important or not
I did exactly this and ended up going no contact with my narcissist sister. After retirement we tried spending time together walking, and between her negativity, drama, and her barking out orders I went no contact. I paid attention to this advice as to how she made me feel, not that I was willing to put up with such behavior just because she was my sister. Excellent advice! Thank you.
Very true, I have learned to separate myself from such people, there is no Peace there with such people who make me feel negative feelings..... Mercy McCracken 🔥👑💯🙌
This is so simply stated, but could have saved me literally decades of trouble. I’m so glad I was able to finally understand this through therapy and lots of work on myself.
That’s real! Just went through that relationship he made me feel Lonley confused tried to devalue me but I know my worth and I don’t blame him he’s not where I am right now so it was hidden from him at this time I do understand that side of it but dang I really had some deep feelings for him that I had to let go at this time. Yes it was hard but I can handle it there is a lot more in store for me and it’s waiting for me to dive in and enjoy the experiences that are waiting so excited! Life is about changes and if you can’t change life has a way of making the changes for you! Stay strong and keep believing , have faith!
Yep!!! The feeling you have of someone is a fantasy. Just go with how they treat you, the reality they display with you and more so with others. Public and private must be the same or else one lies.
I wish you all the best. Last year was the first time I heard about cognitive dissonance. This linked video seems to suggest that one way to argue with someone who has cognitive dissonance is by using humor so that it may make them more receptive. th-cam.com/video/EVF0ojfhSrE/w-d-xo.htmlsi=36dGlogEvRbmHVJe Being elder to my spouse, I thought I had to take the lead and decide the future for both of us. And I thought I had to come across as strong and show that I know everything. In hindsight, I should have thought of being more communicative. I am the stiff upper lipped one in our relationship. I should have communicated that even I am growing as a person and both of us should help each other grow. On the other hand, my spouse projected a i-am-perfect-personality which left little for me to help them grow.
This is can be complicated. I love my guy but he does make me feel sad, lonely, confused, anxious, nervous, worthless, unimportant. But the fact is that I love him. And that's my reality. I love all of him. I accept him for who he is and I understand that we are all learning as we grow even when others might not understand what this means. I may not like some things at times but that's life. You take the bad with the good. What you have to be able to separate from is yourself from negative thoughts. Love is blind. Love is unconditional. Love is a way of life. Love with meaningful Love
This is so true… we tend to put how we feel into perspective more than what they show or how they treat us.. hard pill to swallow but gotta be honest with yourself ❤️
Oh my God😳 that’s exactly the reason I broke up with my partner, was difficult but I kept reminding myself how he made me feel. Two years down, and I don’t regret. But I made him know exactly how he made me feel. Happy but 70% anxious, you undermine my values and when I’m alone I feel peaceful and happy. So I’ld like to be alone. He thought was a joke at first.
Damn this hit hard. These are my thoughts, I have been thinking this last night and here it is in my face. It’s time to let him go. Sad part is he doesn’t care. In his own words he will not be sad or happy.
That sounds like he got several options in the closet. These people aren’t worth holding on to. Holding on to someone who isn’t for you, is self-abandonment. All of your energy and effort is going to them. Meanwhile, they using your energy do whatever they want & you can barely show up for yourself.
Ffs! All this relationship stuff is too much! The pain, uncertainty, rules, grief, broken trust. I'm sure i'm not the only who feels like this after a breakup. If anyone reading this is going through it too, sending you a virtual hug, hopefully we will feel better soon.
I guess this can be applied to family relationships also. You might love them so much, an unconditional love, but they make you feel bad about yourself. It’s time to move on and let go at that point.
Oh wow!!! I didn’t think of my family in that way…🤔 that is sooo true!! My love / adoration of them isn’t the same as the way they treat me. 😮😢 Thank you for connecting that for me!! ❤
A very wise man here. I just have finally realized these wise words and have applied these wise words to my life. Please keep sharing your wisdom gems with us all!
Its very hard. I tried to change that over and over but what ive learned is that you cant make someone love you as much as you love them. THIS IS WHY. The measure of love you have for another person is the same amount of love you have for yourself. So that person cant love you more then themselves. Its not cause they WONT but because they CANT. Its the lack of love they have within. Very sad and it hurts but its the truth. I tried to force someone to stop pulling themselves down and love me more but instead got hurt and caused hurt.
I was married to someone who made me feel nothing but sad and lonely and it left me in a terrible state. He actually left, and i now know he did me the biggest favor, because i am worth way too much to be mistreated. God is good❤
I choose him, but he really changed. No matter how good i treated him, he just refused to see what marriage really meant,obviously it meant nothing to him. I don't understand that part, but I forgive him, no need to have hatred towards him.
@@lorenahernandez7383 you just didn't know him before marriage. Love/lust makes us blind, we don't want to see.. It is because we're not taught to see, to look at marriage very seriously. I'm sorry, I'm not lecturing you, no way. I'm only sharing my thoughts...because when we're young we live without God, we don't need Him. Once we endure hardship we start looking at everything differently and if we again turn to God, His help, protection, we start seeing better. God bless you 🙏💖🌹🕊️
The reality is you should fall in love with the person you are when your with this person. If you hate the person you are with this person than it says a lot about the hateful spiritual environment. Most fights happen in the spirit.
This hits me so deep. I see clearly now and it's a better feeling, I'm now seeing a person who sees my value and who puts in the work to make me feel special ❤ I realize my ex use to be charismatic and adorable but now they are cold and distant. My world has brought new opportunities since I realized this truth.. I'm at peace now with my relationships. Thank you God for removing people and redirecting me on my life path. 🙏
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This is very common. There are partners who are the sweetest to everyone except the one they are with.
This is not necessary given and what he says .... it can also be that you are simply not compatible. That does not always mean that the other person treats you badly, but that your counterpart is not doing or able to do what you wish for, need etc. because he/ she is a different personality.
😢
Narcissists
@@MJR1117✅🎯
Some ppl bring out the worst in u….
He speaks from experience, I see it in his eyes...
Yes
Yeah, it actually made me sad to see the sadness in his eyes. Unfortunately, this hit home for me.
I saw that as well, he is speaking definitely from experience
Yes it's true
Me too! 😢
A narcissist will make you feel lonely, sad , anxious and stressed.😢
I don't think he necessarily speaks about narcists in particular ....
So true
Yes
Lol this type of comment empowers everyone who is lonely sad anxious and stressed to call their partner a narcissist tho
Please don't let people make u feel like that. Don't even answer their phonecalls
This is exactly how my woman makes me feel... God please give me strength to move on...
Happens. You feel ignored, unwanted, not cared for! No one's that busy to not have a look at your texts or tell you about their day for just a few minutes. These relationships are just convenience driven. People give affection only when they're in a mood to receive it back as well. Otherwise, nothing special exists b/w you two. It's just a normal mundane event made so special by us in our heads!
It’s something in you that you must realize she is only there to show you the symptoms Hope this will give you strength that you need to move on n to realize you need work on yourself first before getting into another relationship
This is how my man makes me feel right now I’m asking God for the same i hope he listens this time 😊
I made my Man felt like this years ago. Till i realize how precious my family n i won't be with them forever. I hate my self for what i've done to him. Thanksfully he's not surender
U got it just do it cuz waste your time for ur true person isn't worth it 😢
Took me entirely too long in life to realize exactly what he's saying. And when that realization hits it busts you upside the head
Same, but even if was young again and was told this I’d still make the same mistake because when we’re young we all think people might change. No matter the advice we get.
Being older you know they won’t change and you accept it so well that you couldn’t care any less if the other person changes because you’ve already moved on as soon as they demonstrated just one red flag.
Exactly!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻So true 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻God bless you 🙏🏻 🙏🏻 🙏🏻 ❤️💝
So true ❤
@@IGIG-m4ulove even for a moment never leaves someone. It hurts, feels good, feels bad, makes happiness, causes anger...it never leaves anyone. Love is forever in everyone. Together or not.
Knocked me straight on my ass. In a 5 year relationship and lonely AF.
Matthew Hussey saved my life actually! I found my husband with his programs. He is amazing!!!!❤❤❤❤❤
Fall in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much and is still standing.
Thank you
Who are we supposed to marry then
... that's called "self-love"❤
That person can be dysfunctional so this advice isn’t enough. If someone is a serial killer are you saying they should fall in love with theirselves ?
Marry self-respect man. Everything will fall slowly..
Hearing this hurts more than some people will ever understand. Especially after being with someone for more than half of your life.
Same 💔
@@monicaromero7001 🙏🏾 It definitely gets better with time , thank God..
Are you still together ?
Same scenario for me
@aboulmagd88 No. I attract the wrong people for some reason. I just end up alone.
@@monicaromero7001 Value yourself and your self worth, you will attract the right person for you. Wishing you peace and good health. Stay positive and strong ✨
It hits hard when someone, that you have never met in your life , pin points your exact emotions and life's situation.
Same
🏆👍☝️
Truth be told
Man !!
Facts. This is why i carry Humility within me. Nobody can become my friend much less my best friend if they cannot sit with me and see me for who i really am.
Goes both ways...
People probably dont understand the video.... Some people may be very charismatic and good, person and amybe even have very good heart.......but not right person for you, because they either live in very different country, or his parents expect him to date different type than you...or he does a job that is too far from your job.....or the person has so much work that this moment he isnt thinking about dating someone because wants to be loyal and not poutting pressure on someone, if he isnt serious at the moment....... Matthew never said in the video that the person is narcissistic or selfish......People tranlate his message in very selfish ways. because they dont listen.....thye authomatically say in comments that teh person ois narcissist etc. People need to grow up and stop seeing black and white thinking...He ment that its different "someone makes you feel something" and what you really feel at the moment.
@@alenaadamkova7617not necessarily. He's simply stating that, if the person that you admire, care for or love.. doesn't see you or treat you the same way....then you gotta move on.
This really hit home. I married a guy who was all those things-funny, charismatic, extroverted, charming, & intelligent. But he was not like that with me in my marriage. I was so lonely and neglected in my marriage (28 years, 5 kids), but I stayed for the kids. I have learned that you need to feel loved, valued, and cherished before marriage. I didn’t know that then. I also know now that we shouldn’t expect things to get better. Thank you, Matt, for your wise counsel! I love hearing what you have to say!
Many prestigious research studies show very clearly that it's never healthy to stay together for the kids... they know exactly what's going on and their energy is being affected negatively on so many levels... when couples stay together for the kids they are ensuring the same destiny for them in a loveless joyless marriage. It's better to be from a broken home than live in one, trust and believe!!
Same here
Marriage is duty and honor. Not entirely on feelings. See women change their feelings daily, like habits. Men don’t. And you just said neglected 28 years, why you having more children with this person? You knew within first 3-5 years what kind of man he was, no responsibility for your actions? You wanted that kind of man. And like most women because you couldn’t tame him in the way you wanted or he do things your way. Women shut down, technically already divorced in their head and stay for children is sickening, your kids should be ashamed for using another person in this manner.
Women love to say it’s him, I’d love to hear his side of events.
I am not saying he isn’t this or that, but typically women have incentives too be a boss azz b past 60-80 years instead of actual mother and wife being the anchor serving and rewarding and fulfilling in that happiness. 50+ years of marriage is a successful marriage, 80% divorce is caused and filed by women. I think society wants you to be unhappy so they can sell you bs you don’t need that really takes energy and actual life from family values.
Should you feel good yes, but you are not happy every Day or every year. That’s okay, you work at it with a commitment of duty honor and responsibility and accountability by serving one another. Compromising in some areas not all. Its not 50-50, both give 100%, take turns 70-30% days but keep going. Ultimately only one chief per household, decide stick with it woman or man leading. But don’t feel beneath one another with final say, it’s a lifetime commitment, not competition it’s complimentary.
@@malakhi08 Why did we stay, you ask? Certainly NOT for "competition". Wives are busy, making 3 meals a day, taking care of sick children, shopping, mending clothes, doing laundry, homeschooling. We don't have time to analyze every crazy thing our narcissist husband pulls, but try to keep a peaceful home for our children until the narcissist nonsense is INTOLERABLE.
I can relate my dear..still holding on for the children..😢😢
I honestly wish they taught this to kids in school. It would save a lot of wasted years for many
True❤
This is so true. I was in a 10 year relationship with a super intelligent, funny, handsome and charismatic as the guy mentioned. I thought God had answered my prayers
But soon the sadness and anxiety and loneliness and disappointment in myself that I felt was too much. It has been 15 years since I left him and unfortunately I have not really moved on. There has been Noone else, I have not been able to extend myself to another person. So now I am old, noolonger physically attractive, no family, no kids, another level of loneliness.
I hope people take the distinction you make here to heart to give yourself a chance at a good life.
I don't know what you have been through. But I wish for your happiness. I hope nobody ever suffers from love. It's very cruel.
This sounds like what a friend of mine is going through. Except she has been married for longer. She also has no children, and didn’t want them necessarily, but her “biological clock” is almost tic-tocked out. She said she can’t see children with her spouse because she doesn’t feel loved, or appreciated. She is pondering therapy or divorce. But said she feels like therapy may be a waste of time/money. If you had to do it all over again, would you have made the same choice?
Gosh😮I had to look "did I forget that I posted this comment?" That is me too, 100! God bless us, help us heal please! Blessings
@@blackeneddove time is a precious asset, it's one that can't be replaced. I would make the same decision again for the experience and growth, but not waste as much time. Therapy will only work for your friend if both parties are equally invested and it doesn't sound like that's the case. 😢
Well...children are not harp strumming angels that in their presence you will feel a sense of never ending joy with a cool light shining like a Star!!
It be a great Blessing IF sweet Children didn't drop off grand children at your doorsteps n return after 18yrs with a junkie partner! Or swindle your last dime to support a terrorists organisation...or soaked their kidneys in alcohol to be in the Dialysis Club....
Common keep it real...
Adults!
This right here is the most golden statement I have heard about relationships in a long long long time. Thanks for sharing.
I listened to this piece 100 times...hoping that it can diffuse into my skin and veins 💔
Infuse
Did it ?
Right 💯💯💯
Osmosis ❤
I’m doing the same 🙏
This is the best explanation I’ve ever heard about a relationship because you stay seeing the good traits and telling yourself you can deal with their shit remarks emotional abuse and lack of any intimacy thanks for sharing this
I needed to hear this. I felt this in my 5 year relationship. I have been away for 4 months now, and leaving him was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I have days of depression where I blame myself. I question what I could have done differently . I need to realize that life has better things for me, and we just weren't meant for each other.
I understand this so much ❤. Its been 4 days since i left my 5 year relationship. I cried just a few minutes ago again. I cant wait to be over it.
@princess555o4 One day at a time, I promise it does get easier. You got this!!
Sometimes it takes a long time. It’s different for everyone.
Honey you probably saved your life.
Trust your gut. My sister left her husband, he was violent , found out that he 're married only to be divorced and he served 15 yrs in prison for manslaughter.
Book called Gift of fear by Gavin De BECKER is live changing
I had to watch it over to let it sink in
You have to be able to separate how you feel about someone from how someone makes you feel, when you realize the difference that's the reality of your relationship.
I'm currently in a relationship with a guy who pursued me for a while. We worked next door to each other that's how we met. He's always been kind and would help me out in different ways. For example when my ride home was gone and I was stranded after working an overnight shift he came to get me. Things like that no money just simple favors. So we decided to see what it could be. I'm a homebody I work and go home since my husband passed away. So a month or so ago I got off Tim came to pick me up. However he didn't go towards my home he said he was taking me somewhere. Long story short he took me on a shopping spree. I was anxious about it but he kept reassuring me everything was OK and telling me how he felt about me. He also introduced me to his sister and we all went out to eat. It was very nice honestly even though I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. A few weeks later he quit his job no longer has a vehicle or a phone. I don't feel like he's trying to get up on his feet. I feel like he's using me. We have awesome conversations and he is very supportive. I struggle and fall short and need help so I understand. But this situation has been going on now over a month and is beginning to overshadow the things about him that I was attracted to. Can anyone shed light on this matter. How long do you stay with someone like this. Is it a rough patch or a revelation of the real person.
This hit HARD, I try to look at myself first, and I pray that I don't make anyone I love feel less than great.
Wish i would have heard this years ago.
Its OK do your best NOW. You have your POWER back
Me to but would we have listened?
Omg 😲 100% Truthful
You hit that like the hammer 🔨
Hitting the nail in 😢
This is my life right now 💔😖
This was powerful 👏 seriously
Went straight through my intire body
Like lightning 🌩 ⚡⚡⚡
I need your prayers 🙏🏼
Reading your comment, I can say your'e a good women, just wait and be calm unitel the right persons come into your life even if it takes a long time, I can say your'e a strong person and strong human being is always calm. Have a good day!
Wow, this sum up my 7 year relationship. I am FREE, THANK YOU GOD!!!!
Find someone who has the same values as you. A lot of relationships don't work, because values are not the same.
Exactly a narcissist makes you feel like that lonely, sad, stressed, anxious questioning your value...RUN
He's not lying 💯 real talk
This hit hard for me. 😢 This was my last relationship. I went through a severe depression because of cutting it off. In the end its what was best.
Hi... I am going through the same thing. I feel so guilty and sad for ending things. I was always miserable and lonely with him. How long did it take for you to feel better? Thank you
@@dijanab.3568 I'm going through the same thing, do u wanna talk about it?
@@dijanab.3568everyone is different. It might take someone to heal in a few weeks where another months to years. Depending on the relationship. I would think if you were already miserable and lonely it shouldn’t take that long. We all have these experiences that we need to learn from. I believe there was a propose for anyone that comes in and out of our lives. Maybe at one point in your life you needed each other and for Lessons to be learned. When you find the right man who will bring that happiness to you and it will feel so right you will never think of your ex again. Just I can’t believe I stayed with that guy. Good luck
I'm there with you, but we both know we made the right decision. Full stop.
Never be scared to make change. Time will prove your decision is correct. ❤
Incredible how Matthew just described my last relationship that literally just ended 2 days ago. I pray for healing and restoration, as i pray for his as well. For everyone who is on the journey of mending a troubled heart, God bless you too.
Essentially: they may be great but it’s entirely how they view and treat you that determines your relationship.
This adds to the video comment perfectly. So, what do I do with it? We're "friends", I want more, but he doesn't see me that way. Sounds like I have to give up the "friendship "...since it's not truly.😢
Hey, i think honestly, the first thing to think about was this conversation had from the beginning because there are two different answers based on my question. If in the beginning ya'll decided that ya'll would be friends and grow from there you should end the friendship but if ya'll was never on the same page which means he just wanted to be friends alone from the beginning and you alone wanted to be more with him in the future, I think ya'll should definitely stay friends especially if he is a good friend to you
. Lastly if you have too much feelings for him where you have to be in a relationship and can't just be his friend you have to cut your losses so that you can move on and after you heal maybe ya'll can be friends then. @robincrego4222
My best friend helped me be a better person just by association. How he acted or reacted to situations was so calm and respectful. He passed suddenly but the 3 years we had together made me a way better and happier person.
You should have called your friend by name
Very beautiful tribute 😊
Best dating advice ever
That definitely sent shockwaves. I have been there before and I know people in the same position. I’m glad I walked away from a person that was not right for me. They told me I was what they could imagine one day if they were right with themselves. I took that as they are not the one for me because I am ready for a love today. Now I have found a man who is ready for love. ❤ He pours into me more then I pour into him and myself. It’s a breath of fresh air to meet a man that is emotionally available.
HOLY COW! I needed to hear this. Never saw it that way before.
Amen the reason I’m getting divorced now
@@Kenya12891😢
😢
Believe people when they show you who they are. I can still remember, decades later, the moment that I realized that I wasn't cherished, and that I never would be. It was the beginning of the end.
Yes respect that one is the world 🌟
What he says is one of the most truthful sad realities.
It can start good but when it makes you feel like you are not worth it then you know…
This should be in a form of a commercial that everyone must watch by law. I love listening to this man, he's help me in more ways than I can count.
This brought me to tears 😢
I leave the tears for those ..that have left us behind on earth .Not the living
This is a perfect explanation to a real big issue that many people don’t understand but deal with
This is how my husband & I felt when meeting one another. if you feel wanted, respected, peaceful, faithful and good communication. do they make you feel important or not
This is the key when evaluating your worth in a relationship and deciding if it’s worth investing your time and energy!
Exactly! What you feel is your reality. It's what you're living.
This is gold right here what Matthew says ❤ Love you Matthew for your inspiration and healing
Truth !! I will take a step back and really analize a person Before I allow anyone into my life and heart from now on !!
😊
GIFT OF FEAR by GAVIN DE BECKER
This is such a hard truth. Thank you, Matthew 🌺
I did exactly this and ended up going no contact with my narcissist sister. After retirement we tried spending time together walking, and between her negativity, drama, and her barking out orders I went no contact. I paid attention to this advice as to how she made me feel, not that I was willing to put up with such behavior just because she was my sister. Excellent advice! Thank you.
Very true, I have learned to separate myself from such people, there is no Peace there with such people who make me feel negative feelings..... Mercy McCracken 🔥👑💯🙌
This is so simply stated, but could have saved me literally decades of trouble. I’m so glad I was able to finally understand this through therapy and lots of work on myself.
I let this video play on repeat for a while, it's what I needed to hear ❤
WOW this is the most simple yet realest message I've ever heard ‼️
That’s real! Just went through that relationship he made me feel Lonley confused tried to devalue me but I know my worth and I don’t blame him he’s not where I am right now so it was hidden from him at this time I do understand that side of it but dang I really had some deep feelings for him that I had to let go at this time. Yes it was hard but I can handle it there is a lot more in store for me and it’s waiting for me to dive in and enjoy the experiences that are waiting so excited! Life is about changes and if you can’t change life has a way of making the changes for you! Stay strong and keep believing , have faith!
May God continue to bless you 🙏🏻
AGREED!!! KNOWING THAT DIFFERENCE IS SUPER IMPORTANT😮
This confirmed what I was thinking I just couldn't put it in words like he is. Thank you for sharing
GIFT OF FEAR by GAVIN DE BECKER
Very true. And sad. I think many people struggle with this in their relationships. 😢
He speaks the truth. Lived this very hard truth. Destroyed me
Who's him?
@@LM-se2byThe man talking in the video
What is the name of the person speaking?
Thank you for opening/confirming for me. I won’t just settle. My needs are important too.
Yep!!! The feeling you have of someone is a fantasy. Just go with how they treat you, the reality they display with you and more so with others. Public and private must be the same or else one lies.
Wow... Hits hard.😢
This is a very important realization…, I understand this now… I’m grateful. 😌
Ufff powerful and painfully true...... 😢
Wow! That one hit a spot!!
I felt that with all my heart because I experienced it as he is described 😢
Thank you. I have recently found this to be true. The cognitive dissonance was making me feel unhappy and anxious.
I wish you all the best. Last year was the first time I heard about cognitive dissonance. This linked video seems to suggest that one way to argue with someone who has cognitive dissonance is by using humor so that it may make them more receptive. th-cam.com/video/EVF0ojfhSrE/w-d-xo.htmlsi=36dGlogEvRbmHVJe
Being elder to my spouse, I thought I had to take the lead and decide the future for both of us. And I thought I had to come across as strong and show that I know everything. In hindsight, I should have thought of being more communicative. I am the stiff upper lipped one in our relationship. I should have communicated that even I am growing as a person and both of us should help each other grow. On the other hand, my spouse projected a i-am-perfect-personality which left little for me to help them grow.
This is can be complicated. I love my guy but he does make me feel sad, lonely, confused, anxious, nervous, worthless, unimportant. But the fact is that I love him. And that's my reality. I love all of him. I accept him for who he is and I understand that we are all learning as we grow even when others might not understand what this means. I may not like some things at times but that's life. You take the bad with the good. What you have to be able to separate from is yourself from negative thoughts. Love is blind. Love is unconditional. Love is a way of life. Love with meaningful Love
This is so true… we tend to put how we feel into perspective more than what they show or how they treat us.. hard pill to swallow but gotta be honest with yourself ❤️
EXACTLY. TRUE. TIME. TO. BE. REAL TO. MYSELF. 😮
Thank you for this clarity and understanding!!
Oh my God😳 that’s exactly the reason I broke up with my partner, was difficult but I kept reminding myself how he made me feel. Two years down, and I don’t regret. But I made him know exactly how he made me feel. Happy but 70% anxious, you undermine my values and when I’m alone I feel peaceful and happy. So I’ld like to be alone. He thought was a joke at first.
Thanks for sharing a true aspect of a bad relationship. Very clear answer. No other confirmation is required 😥
Wow! Such wise words. Great advice for all.
True words. Been there for years. No more. Happy and free for 4 years.
Very good point, Sir! Most realities are painful!
Thankyou so much Mr. Hussey 🙏🎉
Damn this hit hard. These are my thoughts, I have been thinking this last night and here it is in my face. It’s time to let him go. Sad part is he doesn’t care. In his own words he will not be sad or happy.
That sounds like he got several options in the closet. These people aren’t worth holding on to. Holding on to someone who isn’t for you, is self-abandonment. All of your energy and effort is going to them. Meanwhile, they using your energy do whatever they want & you can barely show up for yourself.
Ffs! All this relationship stuff is too much! The pain, uncertainty, rules, grief, broken trust. I'm sure i'm not the only who feels like this after a breakup. If anyone reading this is going through it too, sending you a virtual hug, hopefully we will feel better soon.
This hits me hard. I thought of my ex as my everything but she disrespected me and made me question my value. 😢
This is the most accurate message I’ve heard in a long time, especially if you are in a narcissistic abusive relationship
I guess this can be applied to family relationships also. You might love them so much, an unconditional love, but they make you feel bad about yourself. It’s time to move on and let go at that point.
Oh wow!!! I didn’t think of my family in that way…🤔 that is sooo true!! My love / adoration of them isn’t the same as the way they treat me. 😮😢 Thank you for connecting that for me!! ❤
GOD, I can feel the pain!
Snot said it best - “We are born alone and we die alone.”
This was the most painful lesson I’ve ever learned. My person changed the way I looked at the world but made me feel like I was nothing.
Wisdom and truth right there.
It's amazing how he is able to compartmentalize feelings.
Thank you so much 💓
Powerful Matt this is what I have gone through.😢😢
Powerful understanding
A very wise man here. I just have finally realized these wise words and have applied these wise words to my life. Please keep sharing your wisdom gems with us all!
So true, wish I learned this earlier in my life
The first is impression, the second is introspection, the third is realization.
Its very hard. I tried to change that over and over but what ive learned is that you cant make someone love you as much as you love them.
THIS IS WHY. The measure of love you have for another person is the same amount of love you have for yourself. So that person cant love you more then themselves. Its not cause they WONT but because they CANT.
Its the lack of love they have within. Very sad and it hurts but its the truth.
I tried to force someone to stop pulling themselves down and love me more but instead got hurt and caused hurt.
Enlightening !! Thank you
I was married to someone who made me feel nothing but sad and lonely and it left me in a terrible state. He actually left, and i now know he did me the biggest favor, because i am worth way too much to be mistreated. God is good❤
Was it arranged marriage or you chose him?
I choose him, but he really changed. No matter how good i treated him, he just refused to see what marriage really meant,obviously it meant nothing to him. I don't understand that part, but I forgive him, no need to have hatred towards him.
@@lorenahernandez7383 you just didn't know him before marriage. Love/lust makes us blind, we don't want to see.. It is because we're not taught to see, to look at marriage very seriously. I'm sorry, I'm not lecturing you, no way. I'm only sharing my thoughts...because when we're young we live without God, we don't need Him. Once we endure hardship we start looking at everything differently and if we again turn to God, His help, protection, we start seeing better. God bless you 🙏💖🌹🕊️
Beautiful messages ❤❤
The reality is you should fall in love with the person you are when your with this person. If you hate the person you are with this person than it says a lot about the hateful spiritual environment. Most fights happen in the spirit.
The sweetest funniest kind person can make you feel less with just a word.
It's soo hard to have person like he described in your life. Agree 💯
This advice is priceless! Thanks a lot!
Some people appear so perfect that they make you feel inadequate. I only feel comfortable with people with flaws.
Thats the reality of my situation !!!! 😊😊😊 Thank you for thos 🙏🙏🙏💯
Communicate to THE person and see if things change for the better!!!
I'll do that. I know I have to.
WISDOM❤
Oh dang. This was a sucker punch because the timing of it popping up for me is wild.
Me too!
GIFT OF FEAR by GAVIN DE BECKER
@@Manifesting_Secret_Sketchbook fear is not a gift
This hits me so deep. I see clearly now and it's a better feeling, I'm now seeing a person who sees my value and who puts in the work to make me feel special ❤ I realize my ex use to be charismatic and adorable but now they are cold and distant. My world has brought new opportunities since I realized this truth.. I'm at peace now with my relationships. Thank you God for removing people and redirecting me on my life path. 🙏