ive been loved by my family more, accepted by my pears, finding clothes more easily and more affordably, been able to experiment with styles, colors , everything more freely. been able to fit loaned clothing and to share my clothing with others. been able to find love. all after i had to starve for years due to my family not having money for food. overweight until 15, starved until 17, and at that year i found the privilege. its disgusting. yet i dont want to lose it.
idk..I have always been skinny , but I am trying to gain weight but it just does not see to happen cause of maybe genetics..but I do have experienced skinny shaming..
I have no idea, I'll be real. When I was a teen, I was pretty thin and while that was a trait the media said was good, I was skinny shamed to death by my mom and the women in my family. I was also fat shamed by kids at school. When I had a bad bout of depression at 17, I started overconsuming unhealthy foods, gained weight, and got terribly sick. I should add here that I had type 2 diabetes, but that was more for the fact that I quit drinking alcohol but replaced it with soda. Now, I'm 27, I've successfully quit drinking for a year, I'm losing weight and taking care of myself. Not to lose weight, but because I'm still young and wanna live longer to accomplish my goals. I don't post my body on social media and I'm not making a video format for my podcast, it'll only be audio. I'm at a place where I love my body, and I don't need strangers online fucking that up for me
both are harmful, but the latter comes from a place of malice. And sure, while it's absolutely soul crushing to hear how much your family "wishes they had your struggles" (and that struggle being an eating disorder that was slowly killing me) i know that the reason theyre doing that is because of the shame theyve gotten their entire lives for not being skinny. So if anything, once fat shaming is rooted out, the jealousy and spite will go, which in turn will stop skinny shaming. hurt people hurt people, and once we stop telling fat people everything we think is wrong with their bodies, they wont be so insecure to then project on others. (was that worded okay lmao i dont want it to sound like im blaming fat people for skinny shaming, more so im blaming the society that makes fat people feel the need to shame skinny people. Like skinny shaming would not really exist if systemic fatphobia didnt exist)
No, I would feel incredibly narcissistic thinking that every single person that has called me ugly for being thin is jealous. Maybe if someone is also attractive they may get an occasional jealous comment but I suspect it is rare. Usually attractive and thin people only get criticism after doing something really awful. I’ve read studies on it. Pretty people with faces and bodies that fit the beauty standards get away with so much, that I can’t imagine they get any rude comments unless they really hurt someone, which happens pretty often when you are prided your whole life.
@@baileymoran8585 "but I suspect it is rare." It's not rare, at all. I went from 220lbs to 120lbs and all of the sudden other women were hitting me with the, "Oh you're too thin," "Eat a burger," "Don't lose anymore weight or you're gonna start looking bad." This shit even came from my own mother. It IS jealousy and it IS exceedingly common.
I've been on both sides. "Too thin" and "fat". When I was thin, people sometimes expressed concern, judged my eating, or assumed I had an ED. But the world saw me as attractive - people wanted to look like me. Fat shaming is a hundred times worse - You get the unsoclited comments and the entire world does not want to look like you.
finally someone sad it, watching videos like this i always felt bad for thinking that fat shaming is worse than skinny shaming and that being skinnier is objectivly better. People say its subjective and depends on your point of view, although i understand that skinny people can be insecure and feel bad in their body i just feel like almost every fat person would want to swap bodys with skinny person, but almost none of the skinny would want to swap, and its because people still see skinny as far more attractive, and when i was skinny those jokes like "youre gonna fly with the wind" didnt hurt me as much as people saying i would look better if i were skinny, and constantreminder that im fat
@@Tolafasolaxd exactly I’ve never been skinny b4 (actually was fatshamed throughout high school by skinny girls who loved their skinnyness and they weren’t even curvy). But I can bet most skinny people hate being skinnyshamed but would rather stay skinny than get fat.
Skinny shaming suck but when you are skinny shamed, it’s like someone commenting on a bad haircut. You can just go “f*ck them” and move on with your life. It can leave you with sadness and self esteem issues, and i’m not gonna take that away from people who feel like this. But society as a whole puts being skinny on a pedestal. It is adored and near worshipped except by a few individuals with snide remarks. It is so shitty. But with fat shaming, it’s like you don’t deserve to exist until you’ve lost the weight. It can affect you in everything. Even in job application. It goes hand in hand with pretty privilege, in that you could be just slighty less qualified and still get the job because the other one was fat.
Thin privilege also exists when it comes to shopping for clothing, purchasing airplane tickets, seeking medical help, getting a job, sitting in chairs that fit you, using exercise equipment that was made to accommodate you, etc. Thinness works like any other privilege in the world. We are all completely ignorant to our own privileges until we hear from folks who don’t have the same privileges or we finally lose our access to that privilege. Take it from a fat person, thin privilege is very real and pretending it’s not is insulting and quite frankly, not a thin person’s place to determine.
I went from being about 120lbs, super fit to over 200lbs because of medications. Yes there is a stark difference to how people treated me when I was thin to the way people treat me now, and its not positive lemme tell you.
I went thru the exact same thing. From being 113 pounds by starving myself to over 200lbs as well through medication. People are very unkind in the latter part, and feel the need to comment on my weight all the time! Its good to know i'm not the only one.
wow exact same happen to me. all those people who say we're just "unhealthy" dont realize how much medications affect weight. i take antipsychotic for schitzophrenia. it was technically a choice between being clinically insane or fat. definitely choosing fat. i miss being skinny but its just not worth it
I went from being told by family members how big I am to being nicknamed "skinny minnie" and being constantly mentioned how they can't believe how little I am. Instead of using the "thin" vs "fat" debate to argue about who has it worse, why can't people understand that beauty standards cause people to never win no matter what they look like?
I agree beauty standards mean no one ever wins. But at least when you're thin you meet some beauty standards some of the time. I've been overweight and I've been 'too thin' and while I felt totally crushed and controlled by beauty standards in both bodies, one of them was a million times easier to live in.
This is where power structures and oppressive forces are important to understand. The world is simply not designed for fat people to exist in, in basically every conceivable way. Meanwhile, beauty standards are molded around thinness and literal EDs thrive amongst anti-fat bias (which fat people can also have btw, it’s just instead of fearing mistreatment, oppression, and rejection based on hypothetical weight gain, fat people actually live within that reality of thin folk’s biggest fears). The difference is all in noticing who our society is designed for and who is “allowed” to exist based on their bodies. Being called skinny is arguably nothing compared to being called an animal while simultaneously being told to off yourself. Do thin folks get told they deserve to d*e too because of their bodies? That their existence is a mistake while explaining a future in which nobody that looks like them exists? The thinnest I’ve ever been has allowed me to just barely purchase clothing in-person instead of online so being thin is an experience I haven’t personally had, but if I could keep my fat body while being socially accepted and respected like a thin person, I’d have half of my worries and fears immediately disappear.
I'm in the same situation, everyone tells me I need to eat more and my parents call me "sick" and "anorexic Anna". It hurts, no matter if im fat or skinny I still get mocked no matter what.
In this society u can never please anyone. If you’re fat you get told “go eat salad” if you’re skinny you get told “eat a cheeseburger” if you’re dark you get told “use skin whiteners” if you’re pale you get told “use tanning oil”. so my advice is to just love yourself for who you are because your self worth is not found in other people or your outward appearance Edit: 666 LIKES 😳😳🥹thank u
I was in a conversation the other day with a girl who is thin. She would go on and on about not respecting fat people because they don’t try to change themselves, live an unhealthy lifestyle etc etc. Then, 2 minutes later she said that she finds it funny when she sees a fat person eating a salad. It’s like you can’t win in this society. I was so embarrassed that i was even talking to her and disappointed that that’s what a 20 year old girl in 2023 thinks.
@@Ella-is4pl in my country, a fitness coach secretly filmed a fat woman doing excercises in the fitness room, posted the video on his Insta page and mocked her appearance. Fortunately, he received a negative backlash and was fired but you don't know how it's common thing in my country. People not also fat shame you but they also expect you to dissapear from society and pretend you don't exist. Only beautiful superfit models can visit fitness clubs, I guess /sark
@@peachesandcream22 That is horrible...I am sorry for people who have to experience this. It's like fat people need to disappear and live in a closet until they lose weight? That is ridiculous.. What country is that? If you don't mind me asking...
@@Ella-is4pl yesss i’ve experienced this whenever i’d eat salads ppl would make fun of me and say things like “she’s only doing that so ppl give her attention” or “secretly she eats cheeseburgers all night long” and it makes no sense. when you try to get healthier, ppl judge u. when u do nothing, ppl judge u.
There was something similar I saw to this on FB and it was like: You buy your first car, it's not the right brand You buy a house, it's in the wrong area You get a partner, they're not good enough No matter what you do and what milestones you hit there will always be someone trying to rain on your parade. Moral of the story is that your success shouldn't be measured by other people's standards. I think we should apply that thought process to everything. We judge all the time, it's natural, but we can also keep that nastiness to ourselves too.
What made me sad one day was when a fat lady sat by me in a public transport and she apologized , I was just broken, like why are you apologizing, I'm not pressed like you're just sitting by me. I'm thin, you're fat, we're humans using a bus. I'm sure people had been complaining so she was used to apologies
If she’s taking up part of your seat she should apologize. She’s taking up space you’ve paid for. Now you can still smile and say “no worries” but she’s still in your space because of her life decisions
@@antilikka JUST A REMINDER- being FAT is not determined only by someones own personal life DECISIONS. yeah, nah. THAT IS JUST BULLSHIT. for someone who apologised to you, when they sat next to you. its impossible to imagine them sitting at home and eating icecream and not giving a care to the world. it is EXTREMELY rude to say that fat people BASICALLY BROUGHT THAT TO THEMSELVES ON THEIR OWWN. its not true. SHIT HAPPEN to people alright. JUST LIKE you wouldn't go up to a skinny underweight person and say, the should apologise, they became like that because of their LiFe DecIsIoNs. fukin bulshit!
@@tracybannerman5666 nope, that doesn't make sense. you can say, no worries without holding predjudice in your heart and blaming them for being fat because its their fault, Therefore in your eyes, THEY MUST APOLOGISE TO YOU! BECAUSE ITS YOUR SIT. how dare they take my spaceee!!!! yeah nah. they apologised for taking up your space. say, its all good no worries. Its not A FAT PERSONS DUTY to apologise to thin people like they are beneath you! she knows that she made you uncomfortable. as a fat person sitting next to you, she probably thought that she is soooo big, she is sqeezing the shit outter you! and she apologised. cause she felt guilty becasue of her size, becasue of her body, imagine having to do that literally evreytime you board a bus. she probably hates it, but you dont know whats going on in their life, so she has no choice.she probably doesnt want to be their, would you want to be their? now, what gives thin people the audacity to judge a fat person, and BLAME THEM FOR THE FATNESS SAYING, well they brought that to themselves its their own fault. they shouldnt board busses, they make people like US uncomfortable. BUllshit! there are thousands of reasons why peopple get fat! stop having predjudice and assuming shit for fucks sake. that advice was shit!
She had common sense to apologize. She was probably 3 times bigger than you. If an enormous man sat by you in public WOULDNT YOU WANT him to be like hey, sorry. THIS IS WHAT BEING A HUMAN IS. you literally don’t have A BRAIN lol
Beauty standards are just crazy. My mom grew up in Cuba and moved to Spain in the early 2000s. She is naturally very thin and in Cuba, where beauty standards were/are towards curvy bodies, she always felt unnatractive and too thin to be really healthy. When she moved to Spain, however, she was suddenly the beauty type and was complemented often about her weight. She used to make the joke that a plane is all it took to transition from an "ugly duckling" into a swan
I grew up very skinny , but when I gained a lot of weight during a depressive phase the way I was treated changed DRASTICALLY , it was a horrible shock . Now I've lost weight again , I get treated better again 😔 as a woman you cannot win. Now I'm terrified to gain weight because I don't want to go back to how I was treated for it. There have been multiple studies showing that for women , even being a bit chubby makes you less likely to be hired or get promotions at work. They also found that overall for men their weight didn't really affect their professional careers.
Can you give references to this study because I’m sorry that really doesn’t sound right, I’ve never heard specifically a skinny girl would be hired over a far girl, like where was this when I was getting denied from like 3 group interviews because the fat girls got the job and I didn’t, I’d believe you if I had some proof but genuinely it sounds stupid, it’s illegal to discriminate like that so your implying most employers are doing an illegal, sounds like a big conviction
@@Emilyprowell Just because something is illegal doesn't mean employers don't do it... poc can tell you this flat out. Also, they said "less likely" not that your experience will be exactly that. It's a correlation, not a definite. Apples tend to be red, not every apple will be. (I can't prove what OP said is true, I'm commenting on the logic used in response).
Same. I was always told that I was "too skinny" and that I "need to eat more" growing up. I put on a few pounds from medication (not overweight just not thin) and I kept getting picked on by family. I lost the weight and was wrongly accused of starving myself. That or told "you look so good, not so fat anymore!" Yeah, can't win.
Thats why im happy as a man. Doesnt matter Big/skinny/muscular/chubby i get threated like i dont exist and women will cross the street if they see me walking behind them. Feels fucking good. Not but seriously though i dont care anymore. And neither should you.
the part about medical health is so true..i remember when i was a kid my bmi was in the heavier regions of normal but my physician acted as if i were severely obese and told me that “girls should be skinnier.” have not wanted to go to a doctor since
I’m sorry about that. That much weight shouldn’t be put on a girls shoulder 😢 I went to the doctor some month ago and they checked my height and weight. The nurse was exceptionally happy about the numbers and mentioned it several times. At that time my anxiety and depression skyrocketed and I was clearly underweight… it’s crazy (and dangerous!) when medicine and beauty standards intertwine.
The same happened to me but with physical education teachers...my bmi was in the same category but I remember one teacher telling me she was "worried about my health" because even if the scale showed I wasn't overweight I looked like I was :/
I’m sorry to hear that. However I don’t think doctors should stop stressing out how weight influences your health. They are primarily here to care about your physical well being which factually gets worse with more weight. It’s just not ok to hear it in a rude manner.
Thin privilige is totally real. I saw fat kids getting bullied all my life and i was deadly scared of getting fat so i did diets and when i was almost underweight i got so many compliments and now im normal weight and dont get compliments. Im trying to be skinnier again, because i want people to like me more and also i want to look good in outfits.
Naw girl 🥺 just be yourself, and by that I mean be at a weight that makes you feel healthy with yourself and with food, where you're feeling happy and fullfiled, not pressured; don't change for others, for their hypocritical judgements and never-ending standards...there will always be people who like us, so as there will always be people who don't, but there is only one person that matters: yourself
@@mslennyface Honestly, being a bit overweight is fine, you won't get diabetes or necessarily suddenly be "unhealthy" if you're 3, 5 or even 10 kg above that ridiculous measurement, the BMI (in the same sense as there are people that are in that so called "normal weight" and eat so badly that there is no way their veins aren't clogged) 😅 anyways, we shouldn't judge someone's health by their appearance...so, as long as you're well mentally and physically, just be at a weight where you're happy and not restricting yourself from enjoying life 💁♀
Honestly, you can never win. I went from being chubby, and being told how disgusting it was and how I have to lose weight, and then I lost weight and I'm 40kg and now I'm constantly told that I'm too skinny, and I have the body of a child, and "just eat something! Do you have a problem?"
It was same for me. I was told in my childhood: you are OvErWeIgHt then I lost weight then I was literally attacked by my parents that I became AnOrExIc. Just stfu and let me be.
I'm sorry in advance, I'm nobody to judge your case but considering you are a young adult/adult, 40kg is actually kind of low. In the end its your life, do whatever pleases you but please consider your body's requirements. Thank you for your time.
no matter what someone looks like commenting on their body in a negative light is just a shitty thing to do like they did not chose how they look like (for the most part)
@@veravanriet2761 While I understand that is your experience and is absolutely difficult, it is uncommon. While thin shaming is absolutely not okay, it simply isn't something every thin person has to face, and in fact many people who do have eating disorders will be praised for their bodies (which is a different problematic issue). I can almost guarantee that every overweight person has been fat shamed, and lots of normal sized bodies are also fat shamed, with the basis of fat in any way being viewed as unacceptable. No matter which way you look at it, thin privilege does exist and it's not because it's healthy.
no one talks about how hurtful it is to have people assume you have an ED and base all your worth around your body. As a child everyone would just gush about how skinny i was (i was underweight because i didnt like eating). I broke down as soon as i felt like i was gaining weight. Keep in mind i was 9. Now that i've put off a few kilos, everyone thinks i have an eating disorder. I'll admit i don't have the healthiest relationship with food, but people insisting that I "don't eat" when I do is so infuriating. Imagine having to convince people that you eat, it's surreal. What's even worse is the people talking about me behind my back, expressing "concern" about my eating habits and theorizing about my nonexistent ED. As someone who came very close to developing one, it's so invalidating.
Not to invalidate but to simply chime in, imagine having an ED and nobody believes you bc you’re still fat and then once your body starts to get unhealthy, they praise you for living a “healthy” lifestyle, aka having an ED. There’s even a diagnosis to specify fat patients and thin patients with EDs. “Atypical anorexia” just means that the patient is too fat for the anorexia to be obvious. And the rate at which eating disorders are literally encouraged in fat folks…disgusting.
i’m sorry for that, but imagine growing up your whole life with people telling you NOT to eat. when you are overweight people think you deserve to starve. when you are thinner people feel concern for you. growing up fat made me ACTUALLY develop an eating disorder from how cruel everyone is. now that i’m skinny tho everyone loves me (but i’m still left with body dysmorphia and disordered eating). it’s a lot more cruel to have to handle being told you don’t deserve to eat and live, rather than have people worried that you aren’t eating enough. count ur blessings, because considering your life time of avoiding food, it makes sense that people are concerned about your eating habits.
@@ellaizcool well said. Idk why it’s not obvious that thin privilege is very real but like any other privilege that exists, it’s super easy to not see it until you no longer have access to it. Another thing that has always bothered me is that it’s very commonplace for ED communities to degrade fat people through photos and footage that help fuel their disorders. I seriously cannot think of a more violent concept than self-harming using someone’s innocent media to avoid looking like that person no matter what.
@@ellaizcool Im sorry that happened to you too. Our perspectives are truly sides of the same coin. Beauty standards have society in a chokehold. In both our situations, people have felt entitled to comment on our bodies and base our worth around them. The grass isn't greener on the other side, each side has its own downfalls. The "concern" feigned for skinny people is usually just gossip masked as good will. The people INSISTING I have an ed barely know me, and just assume so because of how i look??? its so weird and unwarranted. As an underweight person, I also struggle with severe body dysmorphia, and I know how terrible it can get. Fatphobia and the very skinny beauty standard hurt EVERYONE. I believe overweight people are disproportionally affected, but that doesn't mean average and underweight people arent severely affected as well. This just goes to show that self worth should come from within, society does everything to tear you down. Ps. if that's u in ur pfp then you are literally gorgeous i can see why everyone loves u 😭
I had the same experience. I was a very skinny child. Older kids would make me take off my clothes, call me a disgusting and make fun of me. Eventually, I started doing professional skating and gained a bunch of muscle mass. When I quit skating, I obviously lost my muscles and with them most of my weight. My mom became convinced I had developed an ED and not even my therapist could convince her otherwise. On the other hand, my brother is fat and he probably has an ED. When he told my mom he most likely has an ED and would like to see a therapist, she made fun of him. I feel like people in general have no idea how EDs work. They have this misconception that ED = anorexia = very skinny, when that's simply not the whole picture. People of all body types can have EDs. Anorexia isn't the only ED.
As a practicing doctor I'm just thinking how to communicate regarding weight issues better. Like obesity is a health issue and i usually try to discuss it as part of a regular health visit. Instead of saying you're fat I just try to ask them if they've felt their weight to be an issue and how we can work on reducing it healthily. But if an obese person says I have no issues with my weight, I can't just feed into that. Morbid obesity IS a health problem
Maybe only ask about drastic weight changes. I have PCOS that was caught early because of a drastic weight gain, and an eating disorder that wasn't until I was ready to get help, even though I rapidly lost 40 pounds and was in the lower half of the so-called "healthy" BMI range as a woman with PCOS. Also, mostly I've had issues with doctors who counsel their patients on weight instead of treating their issues, as if the patients gained weight in a vacuum. Treat issues first, and if that helps them live healthier and lose the weight again, that is great. Honestly, if weight gain is due to lifestyle, then the only one who can help them is themself, possibly in conjunction with a therapist. Everyone knows that being obese can be correlated with negative health consequences, you are not going to surprise anyone with that information enough to have them losing weight just by reminding them of the health problems. And if a patient comes to you wanting to lose weight, feel free to give them advice on that. No matter if your patient is over- or underweight, using language that emphasizes feeling good and strong and healthy is going to be much more likely to help than telling them they don't fit into a standard. I am currently a little overweight, thanks to trying to recover from my eating disorder. I still exercise at least 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day, and focus on eating a varied and nutritious diet. If my doctor were to assume that I was just being lazy and gluttonous (mine wouldn't, she helped me so much when I was ready to get help), that would be incorrect and hurtful, and could possibly trigger me to start over exercising and restricting again.
@@jessicaharrison4719 sry but out of experience i have to correct you. patients do not really know the consequences of their weight. maybe they know they are for a higher risk of diabetes and heart disease and maybe they know that their joints are under extreme stress. but thats not all. so many things are harder to detect when your obese (for exemple breast cancer) lung diseases get way trickier because the adipos tissue compresses the lungs making is hard to breath, wounds heal worse making you prone to infection etc etc i could go an forever. therefore no: we can‘t stop talking about the weight because if we did we would fail you as doctors. it has to be brought up - of course respectful but it has and talking about it and listening can change people in their decision making. for example i have some cancer patients that i had deep conversations with about lifestyle changes (they had heard what i said a thousand times before and didnt give a shit) but we sat down and wie took the time to really talk about it. they did make some change. they lost weight, they stopped smoking etc. all this bettering their outcome (also the outcome of surgery) It is not in vain but it is uncomfortable. for me and the patient but i still have to try.
I get where you're coming from. I'm a psychologist and was severely obese. You should not sugarcoat your worries but also see the whole picture. It frustrated me immensely that I was treated as a big obese blob by my doctors and not as a human with obesity. Not everything was caused by my weight and having a doctor acknowledged that would have helped immensely. What I found the most helpful to lose weight was a transparent doctor that did not judge but went through all the treatment options and possible health risks with me. If someone truly isn't open to receive this information you have to accept it. They will come back to you once they are ready.
lemme tell you a funny thing. i can have a COLD. you know nose blocked sneezing all that, and i go to the doctor and its my WEIGHT. they know how to turn the conversation into my weight so smoothly. no wonder i avoid hospitalss.im actuallly sick rn. i have COLD. and no i'd rather die thank you very much. im okay, i KNOW im fat. and im pushing my self slowly and slowly to exercise and now i HATE food so i guess thats a 'good' thing. eitherway. yeah. ill wait untill im not fat anymoree to go to the doctors. i mean i hear enough at my own home of how ill die of diabetes and that no one will take of me once i get so fat that i'll be on a wheelchair. maybe the doctors think that i forget about my body, maybe they think that we dont have mirrors. i know they are very concerned about me though. so i'll just stay at home first, then the day i loose weight, lets hope it wont be too late for me . haha so funny. anyways bye
@@laurawallner639 you know. fat peopel n e ver get told all that you've just said. so how are we supposed to know if you don't tell us that. yeah cause yes your are right. but you also withhold that information from us, soo i mean alright.
I was incredibly skinny but "curvy" as a teen. You could count my ribs, but still had an hourglass figure and the amount of grown men that would hit on underwheight me was scary. I gained wheight in my 20s and went up two clothing sizes and feel so much more comfortable without being hit on or reduced to my body. The difference in how men treat me is wild, but I am so much more comfy being midsize
Oof, so sorry to hear this girl! Isn't it aggravating how, no matter which size you are, there are so many men out there whose treatment of you is based on their "would" metric? 🤮🤮🤮
I went from being “fat” to “normal” twice I’m my life and “fortunately” the only “privilege” I got is that I finally don’t get mean comments on my appearance or food choices. The bullying I got when I was younger though scarred me forever.
Honestly, someone will always feel like they have a right to comment on how you look and that’s some bullshit. It’s so hard to overcome low self esteem and a negative body image. Know this though: regardless of your weight, height, facial structure, hair type, body shape, mental health, quirks and so called “imperfections” YOU ARE WORTHY OF KINDNESS AND LOVE ESPECIALLY FROM YOURSELF💖 Please focus on your happiness, focus on your health, and focus on empowering and uplifting others. Amazing video as always Zoe!!!♥️♥️
The difference in social currency is real and I’ve experienced it; it’s subtle, but as someone neurodivergent it seems like people are less put off by my quirky behavior when I’m slim. I didn’t experience an impact outside of social situations or random attention from stranger (clothes never fit that well because I’m tall and have a larger chest) but it definitely exists. However, lumping in stuff like “never been told my BMI is too high for a medical procedure” and “doctors blaming everything on fat” is dangerous. That’s not thin privilege, that’s not weight stigma, that’s a massively increased risk of death under anaesthesia. Fat alone can also lead to chronic low-grade inflammation and cause issues, or exacerbate minor issues to the point they become major. I have permanent physical damage from the time I spent obese. Doctors NEED to treat fat people (and women) with more respect but the medical impacts are real and feeling shamed doesn’t mean ignoring the actual dangers is the answer. Some trans men who are told they need to lose weight before top surgery have asserted that it’s because of fatphobia, but it’s because anaesthesia for patients above a certain BMI leads to procedural and post-operative risks like lung collapse, hypoxemia, nerve injuries, and myocardial infarction. These risks are negligible at a lower weight because a lot of the problems stem from the physical weight of fat pressing down on the throat and chest. Conversations about fatphobia and weight stigma are way too un-nuanced; either it’s jerks saying it doesn’t exist and fat people just suck or people claiming every single fat-related issue imaginable can be solely attributed to weight stigma. There HAS to be a middle ground around changing attitudes and social stigma while also not denying some of the real risks and impacts of being fat.
This is so true. A lot of us already acknowledged that both thin and fat body get mistreated by society and we respect people on both ends. Now we should talk more about doctors HAVE TO estimate our weight because it can affect our health so much, and as you said, if a procedure is needed, weight can cause an increased chance of.. Death. Though of course it should be put politely. Let's normalize health-related weight talk at a doctor and not equalize that to physical appeal comments
I'm not thin anymore, but I wanna address this because i saw this in the comments on a few of your videos: Why do people think thinner people are "promoting EDs" by simply existing? They do this to heavier people too. I actually try not to show my full body on social media because I don't want people commenting about it on either end of the spectrum. My image of myself has improved over the years because of it.
This is so real!! Nobody's body is promoting anything unless they're wearing clothes that specifically promote something. Skinny people existing does not promote EDs regardless of whether or not you think they look healthy, and fat people existing does not promote an unhealthy lifestyle regardless of whether or not you think they look healthy. It's upsetting that people who are positive in one direction often can't see the other side despite being so close to getting it.
@@ruiqi22 right!! And having been on both sides (I've lost some inches on my waist in the last 3 years because homelessness kept me active), it makes it very difficult for me to want to brag about my progress because I don't need to see people saying "oh no you're too skinny again what happened" when it literally took me almost dying to start taking care of my health again
@@HighAsHeckPriestess Oh, man. I’m glad you’re doing better 🫂 It’s hard to not feel comfortable sharing important milestones with other people, but it is super amazing that you were able to recover from homelessness and nearly dying. Cheers to your future!
I've always had an interest in weightlifting and have always found muscular women so attractive! I have been a tiny little lady my whole life, and when I told people I wanted to go to the gym I was constantly met with "Why? You're already thin." This put me off from going to the gym for a long time because I was hit with this poisonous jealousy around my body.
I’ve been obese for almost all my life. I finally lost over 100lbs and let me tell you: thin privilege is a thing. I am amazed at how different life is now and how much better people treat me. And it’s not because I’m more confident or things like that. People just assume the worst about you when you are fat.
I’ve always been quite slim naturally and people would call me names/call me out for it. It resulted in me feeling guilty for being skinny compared to other people. Not only that, I constantly overeat when I eat in public to prove people that I eat enough (to the point where I feel sick constantly and eating in general becomes a chore, because I always think I don’t eat enough as result of people telling me [angrily] I don’t eat enough) and I am ashamed of working out because if you work out as a skinny person you must be crazy, sick, selfish or have an ed of cause. I know, this is highly subjective and probably nothing compared to people who are struggling with their weight but these can be some of the consequences of how a society (with a structural overweight problem) treats skinny people. There are no simple answers to complex questions and a lot of things really depends on the person and their sensitivity and patterns towards things. Everything has it’s advantages and disadvantages.
That sucks. It sounds similar to my experiences with trying to eat healthy and adding in some exercise. I got ridiculed when I ate salads and exercised by family because "you're such a faker, no way you actually do this because you're so fat"
Ditto on the guilty feeling. People around me would blame me for making them feel insecure and get mad at me when I have nothing to do with their own insecurities. Like I’m just existing and now I have to cover up my body to make you happy? And those kinda of people judge literally anything you do or don’t eat around them there’s always some snarky comment it
It’s definitely an interested discussion. There’s a fine line between “fat phobic” and “your weight is a danger to yourself”. A lot of “fat phobic” things are actually for health reasons. A good example is seats in roller coasters having a weight limit, or surgery being more risky for bigger people. In these instances, it’s not pretty privilege it’s just, these are death risks. There IS pretty privilege when it comes to fashion for sure: - Bigger people are shamed for wearing things that show skin for example - bikinis and bathing suits for sure Food comments affect both skinny and fat people. People preach girls for being skinny even if they’re unhealthily starving themselves. People shame bigger people even if they eat well and genuinely are just bigger naturally.
i feel like there’s a line between using your body as an accessory and just wearing what looks good on you. chronically online people miss that line by miles sometimes
I’m 5’9 and went to my OBGYN a few months after having my baby and was 117. I relapsed into my Ed. They said nothing. But a bigger person will have all of their health problems blamed on weight. I was seen as healthy when I wasn’t bc I was thin. That’s all the proof I needed if thin privilege
I had a very similar experience after i had my son, no doctor ever took how underweight i was seriously, while if i was very overweight they would absolutely have mentioned it
Maybe this is just my opinion, I like Zoe but i think that she tends to hyper focus on her body too much. 95% of her videos now are just about her body, idk if this really healthy. She really lost me on her content when she made that video about why Asians were so skinny. As an Asian idk why there needed to be a whole video on it, it’s obvious that it’s social pressure plus transportation as 90% of it.
Thin people being put on a societal pedestal definitely makes getting help for eating disorders so much harder! It also encourages people to develop them.
I was very, very skinny as a teenager to the point my school relentlessly accused me of hiding an ED. I got held back on the school coach at P.E so that my P.E teacher could warn me about a girl two years above who's period had stopped because of her anorexia. Two weeks or so later, this same teacher called me out of Maths to go see the school nurse who said "your trousers are hanging off you". When I ran away from home due to family reasons, the school's resolve was to tell my parents to ask for a referral to a nutritionist. This actually made my eating go from fine to abysmally bad, I lived off cereals and sugary foods, but I actually proceeded to eat less foods than I was previously eating. I remember going with my mum to find a dress for a big 16th birthday party crying in the changing rooms because I couldn't fit into women's size clothing like the other girls in my year. I got called "flat chested banshee" "twig" "no t*ts" "child". It was awful. I'm actually overweight for my height now, and although I'm not happy at all, the comments are less directive (if not less harmful), but I'm thankful for my emotional maturity at this point because otherwise it would send me spiralling. Just... goddamnit... can we STOP making remarks on other people's bodies?!
I am right in the middle of losing weight and I can say that people definitely treat you differently. The amount of praise I've received so far is interesting. Could be because people know that losing weight is not that easy and takes discipline, but I feel like I've become more *visible* which is strange.
This is such a vibe 😮💨 I’ve been making some lifestyle changes bc of health problems + since losing a bit of weight, people seem to notice my existence more than before :/ I’ve always been a bit chubby + I remember always feeling a little bit invisible
you’re not crazy, i’ve seen many people who’ve lost or gained a decent amount of weight say that when they were bigger eyes would glide right over them. then they lost weight and people actually looked at them. held the door, complimented them, etc.
I agree. Kinda. It’s little more than pain when it affects the health care you receive and the job opportunities and stuff. It’s not “eat a burger” vs. “your fat” or how much the fashion industry is mostly made for thinner bodies. People in the comments who’ve been on both ends explain it a lot better than me 😊
@@nastyaaa6993 yeah i've been thru both and altough i've hated my body both skinny and "fat" (normal weight but the fattest in my class so i got fat shamed alot) i have to say that fat shaming is just on another level. skinny shaming comes from people being jealous and being assholes bc of that. when i was chubbier, i could see the disgust in their eyes while looking at me. being the skinny one (but flat af) made me insecure of my body and afraid of wearing certain clothes. being the fat one resulted in an ED and just in general made me want to like cut my fat with a knife (does that even make sense?). both are bad, but personally, fat shaming made me feel like I don't deserve to eat and enjoy eating
Been real skinny my entire life, but not only skinny, underweight due to my metabolism, and this has affected several areas of my life. Making my menstruation irregular, with pain peaks some months, giving me harsh and acute pains at random in certain body parts, anemia, more susceptible to cold and diseases, an incredible difficulty to gain weight and in general insecurity cause of the thinness of my limbs and such. People do view me as attractive though, and sometimes it's almost infuriating how they tell me their desire to have my body when I know the insecurities it brings and health issues as well. I have also gotten the other spectrum of comments though, "do you even eat?", "you're so small, I could win a fight against you any time", "What you're doing is unhealthy" and a large list of etc. Also the body dysmorphia hits hard, sometimes feeling pretty and attractive, others feeling disgusting and breakable. Point is, neither side is having a good time, so everyone do the world a favor and shut up about others' bodies, the only one you have power upon is your own
I think the medical fatphobia argument is very valid- I’ve developed a fear of seeking medical attention just because of my weight ever since I was like 13 and my doctor literally gave me pamphlets for an ED support group and sent me off without a word. BUT in recent years I’ve come to the belief that it’s important for people to get that “obese” diagnosis and be given the steps to lose the weight rather than thinking it’s just their doctor belittling them. I trust that my medical provider has no intent to shame me, but is also willing to tell me to my face that my being severely overweight could kill me in the long run. Like, let’s not practice denying medical facts!
I'm a dancer who does a lot of lifts (stunts that often involve being thrown or lifted). I'm so tired of people saying "Oh well, of course you're good at this because you're skinny. It's easy for you." Ummm. WHAT? So you're going to discount the years of work it took me to gain these skills? The workouts, the training, being in a lot of pain after every practice until my body got stronger? For years? None of that matters apparently. I suppose it's actually easy for me to do what I do. Because I'm thin.
Not trying to undermine anyone’s feelings but as a person who was skinny and is now fat. I would much rather hear the criticisms I used to hear as a skinny person. The things I have to hear as a fat person are so so much hurtful and they have major drawbacks such as not getting jobs.
I was a skinny kid and now as an adult I'm still thin, so I've had skinny privilege all my life. Over the last 5ish years I've gained about 10 pounds which finally put me at what doctors told me all my life was my 'ideal weight'. Now that I'm here (and while getting here) I have struggled so much with my self-perception because on the one hand: I finally have a small chest and can actually fill out shirts (which I never even dreamed of) and people have stopped asking me if I have an ED (namely, an***xia). On the other hand, I was told all my life that once I was no long stick thin I wouldn't be desirable to men (but I've also been told men don't like sticks and bones so really can't win) and would no longer be attractive, and I also have more of a stomach and I've had to get rid of clothes I've had for years because they don't fit and it's hard! I did even briefly develop an ED when I was younger because I was terrified of gaining weight since my friends (who were bigger than I was) told me I would be ugly if I did. Thankfully, my mom noticed fairly quickly and got me help. But now, I'm just not used to seeing my body this way - even though I know I'm still thin and treated well, to me in my mind's eye I am bigger than I was and therefore am worse off somehow. So while I recognize that society still views me as thin, I'm still caught up in how I used to look and it's hard to accept that your body changes as you get older. Balancing the negative (ED comments, clothes don't fit right etc) with the positive (people don't stare or move when I'm near them, my size is more likely to be in stock) of being thin is a challenge. I hope this is coming across correctly and I don't want to offend anyone.
I relate to this so much! I was always skinny shamed (even though people thought they were saying nice things), and now when I’m a little bit older I’m starting to gain a bit around my hips and stomach. People still comment on my appearance, and now I even get the “you’re kinda skinny” comment which REALLY messes with my head, and I guess my self perception. I wish people would just stop commenting on other peoples bodies. Period.
13:51 oh yeah my hate towards my body started at 5 ish because some not-so-kind skinny girl was mean to me. I’m almost 16 now and only NOW I start to learn how to love my body. I learnt to appreciate that I was always strong, that I could ski, do taekwondo and other things I like. But it’s stil there. This stupid hate any time I’m bloated or ate “too much” or binged a bag of croissants because they were rlly good ( my friend made them for me :)) I hope one day every person will live themselves and nobody will care about other peoples bodies ❤
4:45 I totally believe that I gain privilege because of how thin I am, but many thin people such as myself can't find clothes that fit them because of how thin they are. I can never find jeans because my waist is 24 inches. Every piece of clothing is incredibly baggy, and most stores don't carry an abundance of 2xs-xs in clothing. Totally believe in everything ur saying, my life is easier because of my low BMI, but just wanted to point out that they don't stock sizes for us underweight girls either.
But at the end of day people who are overweight face discrimination and bullying in a more severe way. Even if ur incredibly underweight and recieve inappropriate comments ur 1. still the standard of beauty 2. Still at an advantage .
I went from being chubby, used to have a lot of comments like « you should lose some weight, look at your body » so i lost 30lbs, was happy with my thin body and had a better health but now have a lot of « uh you’re so thin, it’s not beautiful at all » from my family, especially my grandmother who speaks italian to others ( as she thinks i don’t understand) to tell them how much im ugly. You could be overweight or skinny, you will never win Never forget, you are all beautiful
the fact that i was very unhealthy when i was skinny and no on told me a thing but as soon as i started gaining wait everyone started telling me that i am unhealthy not knowing that i was literally a lot healthier than before like wth and the worst was when i took my dad to a clinic bec HE WAS SICK , NOT ME but the doc started telling me to loose weight because i am very unhealthy
I wish we as women would talk about it more and be honest about why we wanna loose weight. Some people do it for their health but to me it seems, it is always about the privileges. I don't know what it is like to be skinny, but to me the privileges of being skinny and the possibility of thin shaming were always better option then being just fat. I love the video, you greatly summarized a complicated topic into a few minutes. I would love to know more about what you think about this.
I was always a girl considered with a "hot body", but after the pandemic I ended up gaining weight. When I went back to high school the treatment was totally different and certain people didn't even look in my face in the hallways anymore. Unfortunately, I ended up developing a ED and after losing a lot of weight I'm still trying to recover from it.
I've had people (family friends and family) make comments (not snide but more like observations) about my body. No one has ever called me fat outright but I did have a woman pull size 2x clothes for me and I have NEVER in my life been 2x so I had a breakdown... but the other thing is that us constantly thinking about this, contributes to it...
Thin privilege exists!! In school, I am overweight, so I am kind of an outsider; I have tried to make friends, but then they called me fat and embarrassed me in front of the whole school. Meanwhile, the other girls in my school who are skinny don't have to worry about that stuff, especially the pretty ones. They get treated nicely by teachers and other students. This video is giving me the drive I need to lose weight. Oh yeah, and literally last month, in a school club, we were gonna skip with skipping ropes, then the instructors said that only the fat people would skip. Having so many eyes on you while skipping is TERRIBLE, especially for me as an introvert.
Story time : some years ago I went to the doctor because I do sleep apnea. When the doctor asked me my weight and that I said him my bmi was 25 (which is a normal bmi) he looked at me from the top to the bottom and told « don’t take much hum » with a disgusted (I guess?) expression. He was implying I was overweighted and I should louse weight or at least, don’t take a single pound. My bmi was at 25 ! I’ve always been skinny in the past but since the pandemic I gained weight because of ✨magic of ed✨ (I do hyperphagia) and I was really insecure at this period because of this. I was a f*cking 25 bmi and I experienced fat phobia. I felt so ashamed after this medical appointment. I don’t want to imagine what fat people experience every time they go to see a doctor
that doctor is super unprofessional for telling you that. im so sorry that you had to deal w him. this type of unprofessionalism and invalidation is precisely why some ppl dread going to see the doctors.
I’m sorry about that doctors comment. It’s insensitive and also clinically simplistic of not wrong. I have sleep apnea. I am not, nor have I been overweight (if anything sometimes I’ve been underweight). Not all cases are related to weight. A persons anatomy can have to do with it or it can have neural origin.
From a med student's perspective there's reason why human tend to feel healthy yet skinny people are beautiful. It's how human evolution worked.. extremely skinny or extremely obese people are ruled out by nature forever. And that is why there's nothing wrong when a doctor asks you to lose some weight cause you may just go on with ITS MY BODY but it's harming you inside. Same goes for extremely skinny people. But these days social media is creating a confusion which is making everyone feel abt skinny privilege and fatphobia. There's no such thing. It's been like that forever and will be like that forever. It depends on you how you maintain a healthy BMI.
just want to give a hug to everyone in the comments right now, reading through everyone's experiences. there is no one like you and will never be anyone like you again, and that's beauty (fr tho genetically there will never be anyone like you again). ultimately, social trends come and go. be kind to yourself :)) also so glad this is being talked about, this video was amazing
girl i love you and youre amazing but you were never chubby, at your biggest you were still skinny (coming from a skinny girl) you have never expereicned "non skinny" shaming
I'm sorry, but unless you were in her body, you can't just tell her she never experienced it. Just because you consider her thin at her heaviest, doesn't mean that other people did. the concept of "thin" is different everywhere. That invalidation of her experiences is exactly why some people feel like their experiences don't matter, or that they don't have the right to feel uncomfortable in their bodies or uncomfortable about the way people are commenting on their bodies because they are, in your opinion "still skinny." Microaggressions are still aggressions. Just because someone doesn't outright call you a whale, doesn't mean people aren't subtly treating you differently.
skinny shaming exists but its nowhere near fat shaming when your thinness is the standard, even if you're on the verge of an eating disorder you will still be considered a model lmao lets's not lie to each other
Thin privilege might be a thing if fat people were actually born fat and it really was bad luck. You can't blame someone else for the fact that you consume an excess of calories
being fat is one of the few disadvantages that you yourself can change and improve. i saw one fat acceptance person say being fat is being marginalized just like the LGBT, mentally ill, POC, etc. great news to her!!!! you can change your marginalization unlike the rest of those groups
When I was being complimented for being “SO PRETTY AND THIN!” I was on heroin. 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ It was really triggering for me. When I gained weight when after I got sober and dealt with cancer during the pandemic, I have people like my cousin telling me I needed to lose weight. It’s maddening. A+ video!
Some people will never understand that even if you love yourself to the fullest now and you are happy with a healthy body that being a little overweight, or a little underweight, how easy it is to slip for a second in your old mind set. It takes a second to get back to the time when you were put last in list of pretty girls by boys, when you were called a pretty face with a tummy and now you may not care about others opinion, but the thought of wanting to be skinny, even if you already are, in an unhealthy way it can easily cross you mind when you were scarred as a child. It is just an intrusive thought, but as much as I love food and working out and my balanced life, there isn't a single time that when I get stomach pain or throw up that I think oh well I guess it's an excuse to eat just the bare minimum. To this day I find it sad that I can't stop this thoight from crossing my mind even if for a second
I feel like people who feel truly bad for being "skinny shamed" are people who never experienced being fat before and probably struggle to gain weight. As someone who's been both, at least when I lost weight I got a lot of compliments
I disagree with the comparison of Joaquin Phoenix and Adele. He was "applauded" because he was playing a role in a movie which transformed his appearance. Adele was losing the weight for herself. Of course she shouldn't be criticized for that, but you are comparing different things. The public tends to "approve" dramatic weight loss or weight gain for movie roles. That's a whole other subject though.
I recently went to the Dr and was told I really need to put some effort into my weightloss journey...I have lost 231lbs! And am a UK size 8/10. To be honest it put me off wanting to see them! Especially as I am disabled and have BED and SRED so getting to where I am is something I'm proud of, but was left feeling like I shouldn't be .
I am a 14yo girl and i am skinny ever since i was little. Many of my friends often tell me how lucky i am to have defined collar bones and thin waist whereas its totally different for my relatives. they always skinny shame me by saying your parents must have not fed you enough or do you even eat properly... One day my aunt even said jokingly that i look better in winters as layering my clothes makes me look healthier. So what i am trying say is that people are gonna have various opinions abt your body and instead of pleasing every one of them, you should do what makes you feel heathier and a better version of yourself❤️
I have been classed as morbidly obese, and now I am just overweight, working towards a healthy weight. Thin privilege and ‘Fatphobia’ are not real! At least in Australia, you don’t get ‘oppressed’ for being fat. And being thin is something you have to work hard at. Both are just made to glorify and justify bodies. Dumb.
LISTEN:: body shaming for ANYONE hurts, but i ask that all skinny people consider the fact that skinny shaming tends to come from a place of jealousy or concern, where fat shaming comes from a place of thinking you are disgusting and don’t deserve to live. there is a big difference between people saying “have you been eating enough” and “you need to stop eating”. skinny shaming has NO systematic issues, and most of the people saying the shameful comments don’t mean any true harm because they view skinniness as positive. i grew up on the low side of fat my whole life, i was around a size 14/16 (but since i’m 5’10 i just seem bigger than others), and it was awful. i was bullied endlessly by friends, family, strangers, and more. i was compared to shrek, told to not eat, asked if i was pregnant when i was SIX YEARS OLD!!! and the entire 18 years of that made me feel totally unloveable. i developed an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, and i ended up losing over 60 pounds. i’m 22 now and i’ve been at an average/thin weight for a few years, and the mental damage is still the same: i constantly see myself as fat and disgusting even tho NOW people at restaurants give me free food and drinks, everyone is so sweet and compliments me constantly, and i can find cute clothes anywhere. when people who haven’t seen me in years see me again they always mention how skinny i am and how much weight i’ve lost and it’s even more triggering because it reinforces that i’m fat and ugly in everyone’s memory of me lmao. just stop talking about peoples bodies, but also stop trying to claim that skinny shaming is just as bad, because it is not. i’d rather be told i need to eat a cheeseburger than told to starve myself like i was throughout my childhood.
When I had a baby, I gained 20 lbs. I was still barely overweight, but I noticed that when I went shopping for clothes stuff was mostly very rude to me, which didn't happen before. I remember one woman said to me, just when I walked into that store: "we don't have such large sizes". It was extremely rude, unprovoked and it really made me sad. She was grinning while she said that so probably she was very aware she hurt me. And I just had a baby. So, yes, that happens.
This video gave me flashbacks. When I was in school, I weighed 140lbs. Not thin, not obese and still my doctor would tell me to go on a diet plan every time I saw them. This triggered my ED..... lost all of the weight.... ruined my metabolism.... and now I weigh more than I did. THANK YOU FOR BEING A VOICE FOR WOMEN. Not enough people talk about these things.
I’m sorry Zoe I do love your channel but I don’t agree with you referring to yourself as “kind of chubby” in the photo at 6:17. Yes, you weren’t severely obese. But also, you weren’t remotely chubby. Looking at a perfectly average human body and suggesting that you can relate to the experience of being overweight is absurd. How do you think that makes people who struggle with obesity feel? I’m not even obese and I’m super uncomfortable.
The whole world treats me better when I am skinny 😩 I want to let it all go but the difference in how people treat me is too much. I can't give up skinny privilege 😭
Skinny-shaming is a weird thing in Indian culture. Like, you experience it more when you're younger because there's a concept of 'healthy weight' but when you're past your early twenties suddenly more people (especially other women) start telling you "you're so lucky your body doesn't retain weight". Skinny shaming from ostensible and real health concerns often times correlate more to specific features than actual weight or BMI - like, I have dark under eye circles genetically, sharp angled face, and skinny wrists, so even when I have a tummy those features are still commented on as 'unhealthy skinny' because overall I don't look thick.
i think being and feeling healthy is a privilege that not everyone has, you look and hope you feel great, haters gonna hate, just don’t let them get under your skin x
My body has been commented on from when I was overweight to when I was fairly skinny. My entire life it has been "She needs a bigger bra" "Oh your so fat" "You have too much muscle" "Have you lost weight?" "Your boobs are bigger than mine" "you should workout more" "why do you workout so much" "Are you sure your a small?" And that's excluding comments on when I had eczema and really bad acne. Right now I workout almost everyday because I love it and want to be the healthiest version of myself. Not for a specific body. First because your body doesn't make you happy and people will always think there is something wrong with your body. And no shape will make you healthy and feel good
How are ppl getting mad a doctors for doing their jobs? Do they expect to go to checkups and not have their weight brought up? That would mean the doctor isn’t doing their job right. If you don’t want to be ridiculed by your doctor, listen to them and exercise and eat healthier. Take some responsibility instead of making the internet feel bad for you
I think some people bully skinny people out of jealousy. I am rather thin, but I wouldn't say skinny. But I am constantly wanting to be skinner and look more toned. I have NEVER wanted to or aimed to be chubby. I know I used to have an ED so my opinion probably sounds unhealthy but that's just my experience. I know that starving yourself and being too skinny is not healthy, BUT medically getting over a certain BMI and being obese is extremely unhealthy, leads to premature death, diabetes, heart problems etc. So I think it makes sense that people want and idolize a thin/skinny physique. To idolize a body that is medically unhealthy and frankly, less desired by most potential mates, it makes sense that people would want to get away from that kind of body as much as possible. I certainly don't want to grantee premature death, diabetes or a heart attack. So yeah, the reality is that skinny bodies are more desirable to most of the population.
I've been overweight and thin. never skinny, only thin, but you can't deny that people treat you differently based on your weight and appearance in general! personally, I hated being overweight -- not only because of social stigma but also because it felt very uncomfortable. I've been able to lose the extra weight now and I've felt the skinny privilage coming back again but these discussions for me are so so so important so I never forget how bad it feels to be judged and never do that to another person.
My problem with skinny shaming is that everybody gets shamed for their body type. Even if you are considered average, you will be shamed for something. Skinny people are not the only ones getting shamed, even if the comments they receive are hurtful, skinny people still have thin privilege
when I get told that I got my promotions and positions due to my skinny or pretty privilege I used the hispanic proverb: Haga lo mismo y no sufra (do the same and don't suffer)
I'm super a peaky eater so I usually don't accept people when they invite me something, and two times I have receive comments like "don't be shy, you must eat gross alone either way" maybe this seem little, but I'm very introvert so I don't go out so that this was said to me twice is A LOT, just because I'm fat.
I wouldn't say being thin is a privilege but you get better treat ment when you are thin so maybe there comes pribilege with being thin. Having lost 25kg I can clearly see how much better I get treated at the same time wen I was extreamly thin in my early twenties I got also a lot of flag for being to thin. All in all I got shamed more for being overly skinny than being a fat,
lol when you are skinny you still don't look good in most fits and get often overlooked unless you have nice body shape,pretty face hair etc so why everyone is so focusing so much on weight
How have you been impacted by thin privilege?
ive been loved by my family more, accepted by my pears, finding clothes more easily and more affordably, been able to experiment with styles, colors , everything more freely. been able to fit loaned clothing and to share my clothing with others. been able to find love. all after i had to starve for years due to my family not having money for food. overweight until 15, starved until 17, and at that year i found the privilege. its disgusting. yet i dont want to lose it.
idk..I have always been skinny , but I am trying to gain weight but it just does not see to happen cause of maybe genetics..but I do have experienced skinny shaming..
I have no idea, I'll be real. When I was a teen, I was pretty thin and while that was a trait the media said was good, I was skinny shamed to death by my mom and the women in my family. I was also fat shamed by kids at school. When I had a bad bout of depression at 17, I started overconsuming unhealthy foods, gained weight, and got terribly sick.
I should add here that I had type 2 diabetes, but that was more for the fact that I quit drinking alcohol but replaced it with soda.
Now, I'm 27, I've successfully quit drinking for a year, I'm losing weight and taking care of myself. Not to lose weight, but because I'm still young and wanna live longer to accomplish my goals. I don't post my body on social media and I'm not making a video format for my podcast, it'll only be audio. I'm at a place where I love my body, and I don't need strangers online fucking that up for me
Preached for being thin when I was actually starving myself :) being thin doesnt equal healtht
@@Cartoonandanimelove1 just because you're unhealthily thin doesn't mean all skinny people are unhealthy
I feel like most "skinny shaming" is born out of jealousy, whereas most "fat shaming" is born out of disgust. I think that's a massive difference.
both are harmful, but the latter comes from a place of malice. And sure, while it's absolutely soul crushing to hear how much your family "wishes they had your struggles" (and that struggle being an eating disorder that was slowly killing me) i know that the reason theyre doing that is because of the shame theyve gotten their entire lives for not being skinny. So if anything, once fat shaming is rooted out, the jealousy and spite will go, which in turn will stop skinny shaming. hurt people hurt people, and once we stop telling fat people everything we think is wrong with their bodies, they wont be so insecure to then project on others. (was that worded okay lmao i dont want it to sound like im blaming fat people for skinny shaming, more so im blaming the society that makes fat people feel the need to shame skinny people. Like skinny shaming would not really exist if systemic fatphobia didnt exist)
Facts …. Fat shaming is from a place of discuss. Skinny shaming is from a place of jealousy.
so tru
No, I would feel incredibly narcissistic thinking that every single person that has called me ugly for being thin is jealous. Maybe if someone is also attractive they may get an occasional jealous comment but I suspect it is rare. Usually attractive and thin people only get criticism after doing something really awful. I’ve read studies on it. Pretty people with faces and bodies that fit the beauty standards get away with so much, that I can’t imagine they get any rude comments unless they really hurt someone, which happens pretty often when you are prided your whole life.
@@baileymoran8585 "but I suspect it is rare." It's not rare, at all. I went from 220lbs to 120lbs and all of the sudden other women were hitting me with the, "Oh you're too thin," "Eat a burger," "Don't lose anymore weight or you're gonna start looking bad." This shit even came from my own mother. It IS jealousy and it IS exceedingly common.
I've been on both sides. "Too thin" and "fat". When I was thin, people sometimes expressed concern, judged my eating, or assumed I had an ED. But the world saw me as attractive - people wanted to look like me. Fat shaming is a hundred times worse - You get the unsoclited comments and the entire world does not want to look like you.
finally someone sad it, watching videos like this i always felt bad for thinking that fat shaming is worse than skinny shaming and that being skinnier is objectivly better. People say its subjective and depends on your point of view, although i understand that skinny people can be insecure and feel bad in their body i just feel like almost every fat person would want to swap bodys with skinny person, but almost none of the skinny would want to swap, and its because people still see skinny as far more attractive, and when i was skinny those jokes like "youre gonna fly with the wind" didnt hurt me as much as people saying i would look better if i were skinny, and constantreminder that im fat
T H I S
@@Tolafasolaxd exactly I’ve never been skinny b4 (actually was fatshamed throughout high school by skinny girls who loved their skinnyness and they weren’t even curvy). But I can bet most skinny people hate being skinnyshamed but would rather stay skinny than get fat.
Skinny shaming suck but when you are skinny shamed, it’s like someone commenting on a bad haircut. You can just go “f*ck them” and move on with your life. It can leave you with sadness and self esteem issues, and i’m not gonna take that away from people who feel like this. But society as a whole puts being skinny on a pedestal. It is adored and near worshipped except by a few individuals with snide remarks. It is so shitty.
But with fat shaming, it’s like you don’t deserve to exist until you’ve lost the weight. It can affect you in everything. Even in job application. It goes hand in hand with pretty privilege, in that you could be just slighty less qualified and still get the job because the other one was fat.
@@Andrea-ys1gv Yess fatphobia is worse because it’s systemic, society as whole doesn’t like you as opposed to just one person.
Thin privilege only exists if you're thin in the "right" places. If you're flat you will get shamed.
relate to this so much
I can relate.
exactly, everyone expects us to have mix and match body parts like some kind of mr potato head 💔
@@lisdmon6538 😂 mr potato head!! (but true 😩)
Thin privilege also exists when it comes to shopping for clothing, purchasing airplane tickets, seeking medical help, getting a job, sitting in chairs that fit you, using exercise equipment that was made to accommodate you, etc.
Thinness works like any other privilege in the world. We are all completely ignorant to our own privileges until we hear from folks who don’t have the same privileges or we finally lose our access to that privilege. Take it from a fat person, thin privilege is very real and pretending it’s not is insulting and quite frankly, not a thin person’s place to determine.
I went from being about 120lbs, super fit to over 200lbs because of medications. Yes there is a stark difference to how people treated me when I was thin to the way people treat me now, and its not positive lemme tell you.
I went thru the exact same thing. From being 113 pounds by starving myself to over 200lbs as well through medication. People are very unkind in the latter part, and feel the need to comment on my weight all the time! Its good to know i'm not the only one.
wow exact same happen to me. all those people who say we're just "unhealthy" dont realize how much medications affect weight. i take antipsychotic for schitzophrenia. it was technically a choice between being clinically insane or fat. definitely choosing fat. i miss being skinny but its just not worth it
Yeah it’s not just people in a dating context. Strangers, friends, even if you just want to hang out and exist
What do you mean by treated you different? Did they no compliment you anymore or did they hurl insults at you? Or did guys not check you out anymore?
Yeah, this is why I will not start no meds with a weight gain side effect. Fuck that.
I went from being told by family members how big I am to being nicknamed "skinny minnie" and being constantly mentioned how they can't believe how little I am. Instead of using the "thin" vs "fat" debate to argue about who has it worse, why can't people understand that beauty standards cause people to never win no matter what they look like?
I agree beauty standards mean no one ever wins. But at least when you're thin you meet some beauty standards some of the time. I've been overweight and I've been 'too thin' and while I felt totally crushed and controlled by beauty standards in both bodies, one of them was a million times easier to live in.
This is where power structures and oppressive forces are important to understand. The world is simply not designed for fat people to exist in, in basically every conceivable way. Meanwhile, beauty standards are molded around thinness and literal EDs thrive amongst anti-fat bias (which fat people can also have btw, it’s just instead of fearing mistreatment, oppression, and rejection based on hypothetical weight gain, fat people actually live within that reality of thin folk’s biggest fears). The difference is all in noticing who our society is designed for and who is “allowed” to exist based on their bodies. Being called skinny is arguably nothing compared to being called an animal while simultaneously being told to off yourself. Do thin folks get told they deserve to d*e too because of their bodies? That their existence is a mistake while explaining a future in which nobody that looks like them exists? The thinnest I’ve ever been has allowed me to just barely purchase clothing in-person instead of online so being thin is an experience I haven’t personally had, but if I could keep my fat body while being socially accepted and respected like a thin person, I’d have half of my worries and fears immediately disappear.
Big facts that's why loving yourself isn't just a bs phrase to throw around
I'm in the same situation, everyone tells me I need to eat more and my parents call me "sick" and "anorexic Anna". It hurts, no matter if im fat or skinny I still get mocked no matter what.
💯 there's no winning
In this society u can never please anyone. If you’re fat you get told “go eat salad” if you’re skinny you get told “eat a cheeseburger” if you’re dark you get told “use skin whiteners” if you’re pale you get told “use tanning oil”. so my advice is to just love yourself for who you are because your self worth is not found in other people or your outward appearance
Edit: 666 LIKES 😳😳🥹thank u
I was in a conversation the other day with a girl who is thin. She would go on and on about not respecting fat people because they don’t try to change themselves, live an unhealthy lifestyle etc etc. Then, 2 minutes later she said that she finds it funny when she sees a fat person eating a salad. It’s like you can’t win in this society. I was so embarrassed that i was even talking to her and disappointed that that’s what a 20 year old girl in 2023 thinks.
@@Ella-is4pl in my country, a fitness coach secretly filmed a fat woman doing excercises in the fitness room, posted the video on his Insta page and mocked her appearance. Fortunately, he received a negative backlash and was fired but you don't know how it's common thing in my country. People not also fat shame you but they also expect you to dissapear from society and pretend you don't exist. Only beautiful superfit models can visit fitness clubs, I guess /sark
@@peachesandcream22 That is horrible...I am sorry for people who have to experience this. It's like fat people need to disappear and live in a closet until they lose weight? That is ridiculous..
What country is that? If you don't mind me asking...
@@Ella-is4pl yesss i’ve experienced this whenever i’d eat salads ppl would make fun of me and say things like “she’s only doing that so ppl give her attention” or “secretly she eats cheeseburgers all night long” and it makes no sense. when you try to get healthier, ppl judge u. when u do nothing, ppl judge u.
There was something similar I saw to this on FB and it was like:
You buy your first car, it's not the right brand
You buy a house, it's in the wrong area
You get a partner, they're not good enough
No matter what you do and what milestones you hit there will always be someone trying to rain on your parade.
Moral of the story is that your success shouldn't be measured by other people's standards. I think we should apply that thought process to everything. We judge all the time, it's natural, but we can also keep that nastiness to ourselves too.
What made me sad one day was when a fat lady sat by me in a public transport and she apologized , I was just broken, like why are you apologizing, I'm not pressed like you're just sitting by me. I'm thin, you're fat, we're humans using a bus. I'm sure people had been complaining so she was used to apologies
If she’s taking up part of your seat she should apologize. She’s taking up space you’ve paid for. Now you can still smile and say “no worries” but she’s still in your space because of her life decisions
@@antilikka makes sense
@@antilikka JUST A REMINDER- being FAT is not determined only by someones own personal life DECISIONS. yeah, nah. THAT IS JUST BULLSHIT.
for someone who apologised to you, when they sat next to you. its impossible to imagine them sitting at home and eating icecream and not giving a care to the world.
it is EXTREMELY rude to say that fat people BASICALLY BROUGHT THAT TO THEMSELVES ON THEIR OWWN. its not true.
SHIT HAPPEN to people alright.
JUST LIKE you wouldn't go up to a skinny underweight person and say, the should apologise, they became like that because of their LiFe DecIsIoNs.
fukin bulshit!
@@tracybannerman5666 nope, that doesn't make sense.
you can say, no worries without holding predjudice in your heart and blaming them for being fat because its their fault, Therefore in your eyes, THEY MUST APOLOGISE TO YOU! BECAUSE ITS YOUR SIT. how dare they take my spaceee!!!! yeah nah.
they apologised for taking up your space. say, its all good no worries. Its not A FAT PERSONS DUTY to apologise to thin people like they are beneath you! she knows that she made you uncomfortable. as a fat person sitting next to you, she probably thought that she is soooo big, she is sqeezing the shit outter you! and she apologised. cause she felt guilty becasue of her size, becasue of her body, imagine having to do that literally evreytime you board a bus. she probably hates it, but you dont know whats going on in their life, so she has no choice.she probably doesnt want to be their, would you want to be their?
now, what gives thin people the audacity to judge a fat person, and BLAME THEM FOR THE FATNESS SAYING, well they brought that to themselves its their own fault. they shouldnt board busses, they make people like US uncomfortable. BUllshit!
there are thousands of reasons why peopple get fat! stop having predjudice and assuming shit for fucks sake.
that advice was shit!
She had common sense to apologize.
She was probably 3 times bigger than you. If an enormous man sat by you in public WOULDNT YOU WANT him to be like hey, sorry. THIS IS WHAT BEING A HUMAN IS. you literally don’t have A BRAIN lol
Beauty standards are just crazy. My mom grew up in Cuba and moved to Spain in the early 2000s. She is naturally very thin and in Cuba, where beauty standards were/are towards curvy bodies, she always felt unnatractive and too thin to be really healthy. When she moved to Spain, however, she was suddenly the beauty type and was complemented often about her weight. She used to make the joke that a plane is all it took to transition from an "ugly duckling" into a swan
lol same in my country it's unattractive to be skinny the beauty standards are curvy and thick but in the western world it's the opposite so ironic
Great sense of humour. 😂
I grew up very skinny , but when I gained a lot of weight during a depressive phase the way I was treated changed DRASTICALLY , it was a horrible shock . Now I've lost weight again , I get treated better again 😔 as a woman you cannot win. Now I'm terrified to gain weight because I don't want to go back to how I was treated for it.
There have been multiple studies showing that for women , even being a bit chubby makes you less likely to be hired or get promotions at work. They also found that overall for men their weight didn't really affect their professional careers.
Can you give references to this study because I’m sorry that really doesn’t sound right, I’ve never heard specifically a skinny girl would be hired over a far girl, like where was this when I was getting denied from like 3 group interviews because the fat girls got the job and I didn’t, I’d believe you if I had some proof but genuinely it sounds stupid, it’s illegal to discriminate like that so your implying most employers are doing an illegal, sounds like a big conviction
@@Emilyprowell Just because something is illegal doesn't mean employers don't do it... poc can tell you this flat out. Also, they said "less likely" not that your experience will be exactly that. It's a correlation, not a definite. Apples tend to be red, not every apple will be. (I can't prove what OP said is true, I'm commenting on the logic used in response).
Same. I was always told that I was "too skinny" and that I "need to eat more" growing up. I put on a few pounds from medication (not overweight just not thin) and I kept getting picked on by family. I lost the weight and was wrongly accused of starving myself. That or told "you look so good, not so fat anymore!" Yeah, can't win.
Thats why im happy as a man. Doesnt matter Big/skinny/muscular/chubby i get threated like i dont exist and women will cross the street if they see me walking behind them. Feels fucking good. Not but seriously though i dont care anymore. And neither should you.
@@Em_Elizabeth th-cam.com/video/az9ERqj9qW4/w-d-xo.html
the part about medical health is so true..i remember when i was a kid my bmi was in the heavier regions of normal but my physician acted as if i were severely obese and told me that “girls should be skinnier.” have not wanted to go to a doctor since
I’m sorry about that. That much weight shouldn’t be put on a girls shoulder 😢
I went to the doctor some month ago and they checked my height and weight. The nurse was exceptionally happy about the numbers and mentioned it several times. At that time my anxiety and depression skyrocketed and I was clearly underweight… it’s crazy (and dangerous!) when medicine and beauty standards intertwine.
The same happened to me but with physical education teachers...my bmi was in the same category but I remember one teacher telling me she was "worried about my health" because even if the scale showed I wasn't overweight I looked like I was :/
I’m sorry to hear that. However I don’t think doctors should stop stressing out how weight influences your health. They are primarily here to care about your physical well being which factually gets worse with more weight. It’s just not ok to hear it in a rude manner.
Doctors need to be more tactful but if they don't tell over weight patients that they need to loose weight then they aren't doing their jobs.
@@sarcodonblue2876 that is true but in my case i wasn't even overweight..
Thin privilige is totally real. I saw fat kids getting bullied all my life and i was deadly scared of getting fat so i did diets and when i was almost underweight i got so many compliments and now im normal weight and dont get compliments. Im trying to be skinnier again, because i want people to like me more and also i want to look good in outfits.
I also want to lose weight and I'm considered skinny where I'm from,I just wanted to say don't over do it because being healthy is all that matters
Naw girl 🥺 just be yourself, and by that I mean be at a weight that makes you feel healthy with yourself and with food, where you're feeling happy and fullfiled, not pressured; don't change for others, for their hypocritical judgements and never-ending standards...there will always be people who like us, so as there will always be people who don't, but there is only one person that matters: yourself
@Ana Oni Mousz Well, as long it's not unweight or overweight, it's fine.
@@mslennyface Honestly, being a bit overweight is fine, you won't get diabetes or necessarily suddenly be "unhealthy" if you're 3, 5 or even 10 kg above that ridiculous measurement, the BMI (in the same sense as there are people that are in that so called "normal weight" and eat so badly that there is no way their veins aren't clogged) 😅 anyways, we shouldn't judge someone's health by their appearance...so, as long as you're well mentally and physically, just be at a weight where you're happy and not restricting yourself from enjoying life 💁♀
@@anaonimousz8167 what about nickavcaode or whatever his name is?
Honestly, you can never win. I went from being chubby, and being told how disgusting it was and how I have to lose weight, and then I lost weight and I'm 40kg and now I'm constantly told that I'm too skinny, and I have the body of a child, and "just eat something! Do you have a problem?"
It was same for me. I was told in my childhood: you are OvErWeIgHt then I lost weight then I was literally attacked by my parents that I became AnOrExIc. Just stfu and let me be.
40kg? Wow! I can't really imagine this.
I'm sorry in advance, I'm nobody to judge your case but considering you are a young adult/adult, 40kg is actually kind of low. In the end its your life, do whatever pleases you but please consider your body's requirements. Thank you for your time.
@bluffgg I'm 5'1 so yeah I'm skinny, but I'm not underweight.
@@Faith-ix2ef 👍🏻 Thank you for the insight
“Looks and trends come and go, but confidence is always in style”
Wise words zoe
no matter what someone looks like commenting on their body in a negative light is just a shitty thing to do like they did not chose how they look like (for the most part)
The difference between thin shaming and fat shaming is "you should eat a cheeseburger" versus "you are disgusting and unworthy of basic decency".
Where? When? 💀💀💀
@@BoneheadGirl_ everywhere, always
Nah, think about "your man won't get any meat in your body, you're just bones."
Thin shaming is more on the "having people you barely know report you to teachers because they think you have an ED for existing"
@@veravanriet2761 While I understand that is your experience and is absolutely difficult, it is uncommon. While thin shaming is absolutely not okay, it simply isn't something every thin person has to face, and in fact many people who do have eating disorders will be praised for their bodies (which is a different problematic issue). I can almost guarantee that every overweight person has been fat shamed, and lots of normal sized bodies are also fat shamed, with the basis of fat in any way being viewed as unacceptable. No matter which way you look at it, thin privilege does exist and it's not because it's healthy.
no one talks about how hurtful it is to have people assume you have an ED and base all your worth around your body. As a child everyone would just gush about how skinny i was (i was underweight because i didnt like eating). I broke down as soon as i felt like i was gaining weight. Keep in mind i was 9. Now that i've put off a few kilos, everyone thinks i have an eating disorder. I'll admit i don't have the healthiest relationship with food, but people insisting that I "don't eat" when I do is so infuriating. Imagine having to convince people that you eat, it's surreal. What's even worse is the people talking about me behind my back, expressing "concern" about my eating habits and theorizing about my nonexistent ED. As someone who came very close to developing one, it's so invalidating.
Not to invalidate but to simply chime in, imagine having an ED and nobody believes you bc you’re still fat and then once your body starts to get unhealthy, they praise you for living a “healthy” lifestyle, aka having an ED. There’s even a diagnosis to specify fat patients and thin patients with EDs. “Atypical anorexia” just means that the patient is too fat for the anorexia to be obvious.
And the rate at which eating disorders are literally encouraged in fat folks…disgusting.
i’m sorry for that, but imagine growing up your whole life with people telling you NOT to eat. when you are overweight people think you deserve to starve. when you are thinner people feel concern for you. growing up fat made me ACTUALLY develop an eating disorder from how cruel everyone is. now that i’m skinny tho everyone loves me (but i’m still left with body dysmorphia and disordered eating). it’s a lot more cruel to have to handle being told you don’t deserve to eat and live, rather than have people worried that you aren’t eating enough. count ur blessings, because considering your life time of avoiding food, it makes sense that people are concerned about your eating habits.
@@ellaizcool well said. Idk why it’s not obvious that thin privilege is very real but like any other privilege that exists, it’s super easy to not see it until you no longer have access to it.
Another thing that has always bothered me is that it’s very commonplace for ED communities to degrade fat people through photos and footage that help fuel their disorders. I seriously cannot think of a more violent concept than self-harming using someone’s innocent media to avoid looking like that person no matter what.
@@ellaizcool Im sorry that happened to you too. Our perspectives are truly sides of the same coin. Beauty standards have society in a chokehold. In both our situations, people have felt entitled to comment on our bodies and base our worth around them. The grass isn't greener on the other side, each side has its own downfalls. The "concern" feigned for skinny people is usually just gossip masked as good will. The people INSISTING I have an ed barely know me, and just assume so because of how i look??? its so weird and unwarranted. As an underweight person, I also struggle with severe body dysmorphia, and I know how terrible it can get. Fatphobia and the very skinny beauty standard hurt EVERYONE. I believe overweight people are disproportionally affected, but that doesn't mean average and underweight people arent severely affected as well. This just goes to show that self worth should come from within, society does everything to tear you down.
Ps. if that's u in ur pfp then you are literally gorgeous i can see why everyone loves u 😭
I had the same experience. I was a very skinny child. Older kids would make me take off my clothes, call me a disgusting and make fun of me. Eventually, I started doing professional skating and gained a bunch of muscle mass. When I quit skating, I obviously lost my muscles and with them most of my weight. My mom became convinced I had developed an ED and not even my therapist could convince her otherwise. On the other hand, my brother is fat and he probably has an ED. When he told my mom he most likely has an ED and would like to see a therapist, she made fun of him. I feel like people in general have no idea how EDs work. They have this misconception that ED = anorexia = very skinny, when that's simply not the whole picture. People of all body types can have EDs. Anorexia isn't the only ED.
I want from being underweight to overweight and there's a huge difference in the way people treat you
This is first hand experience
As a practicing doctor I'm just thinking how to communicate regarding weight issues better. Like obesity is a health issue and i usually try to discuss it as part of a regular health visit. Instead of saying you're fat I just try to ask them if they've felt their weight to be an issue and how we can work on reducing it healthily. But if an obese person says I have no issues with my weight, I can't just feed into that. Morbid obesity IS a health problem
Maybe only ask about drastic weight changes. I have PCOS that was caught early because of a drastic weight gain, and an eating disorder that wasn't until I was ready to get help, even though I rapidly lost 40 pounds and was in the lower half of the so-called "healthy" BMI range as a woman with PCOS. Also, mostly I've had issues with doctors who counsel their patients on weight instead of treating their issues, as if the patients gained weight in a vacuum. Treat issues first, and if that helps them live healthier and lose the weight again, that is great. Honestly, if weight gain is due to lifestyle, then the only one who can help them is themself, possibly in conjunction with a therapist. Everyone knows that being obese can be correlated with negative health consequences, you are not going to surprise anyone with that information enough to have them losing weight just by reminding them of the health problems. And if a patient comes to you wanting to lose weight, feel free to give them advice on that. No matter if your patient is over- or underweight, using language that emphasizes feeling good and strong and healthy is going to be much more likely to help than telling them they don't fit into a standard.
I am currently a little overweight, thanks to trying to recover from my eating disorder. I still exercise at least 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day, and focus on eating a varied and nutritious diet. If my doctor were to assume that I was just being lazy and gluttonous (mine wouldn't, she helped me so much when I was ready to get help), that would be incorrect and hurtful, and could possibly trigger me to start over exercising and restricting again.
@@jessicaharrison4719 sry but out of experience i have to correct you. patients do not really know the consequences of their weight. maybe they know they are for a higher risk of diabetes and heart disease and maybe they know that their joints are under extreme stress. but thats not all. so many things are harder to detect when your obese (for exemple breast cancer) lung diseases get way trickier because the adipos tissue compresses the lungs making is hard to breath, wounds heal worse making you prone to infection etc etc i could go an forever. therefore no: we can‘t stop talking about the weight because if we did we would fail you as doctors. it has to be brought up - of course respectful but it has
and talking about it and listening can change people in their decision making. for example i have some cancer patients that i had deep conversations with about lifestyle changes (they had heard what i said a thousand times before and didnt give a shit) but we sat down and wie took the time to really talk about it. they did make some change. they lost weight, they stopped smoking etc. all this bettering their outcome (also the outcome of surgery)
It is not in vain but it is uncomfortable. for me and the patient but i still have to try.
I get where you're coming from. I'm a psychologist and was severely obese. You should not sugarcoat your worries but also see the whole picture. It frustrated me immensely that I was treated as a big obese blob by my doctors and not as a human with obesity. Not everything was caused by my weight and having a doctor acknowledged that would have helped immensely. What I found the most helpful to lose weight was a transparent doctor that did not judge but went through all the treatment options and possible health risks with me. If someone truly isn't open to receive this information you have to accept it. They will come back to you once they are ready.
lemme tell you a funny thing. i can have a COLD. you know nose blocked sneezing all that, and i go to the doctor and its my WEIGHT. they know how to turn the conversation into my weight so smoothly. no wonder i avoid hospitalss.im actuallly sick rn. i have COLD. and no i'd rather die thank you very much. im okay, i KNOW im fat. and im pushing my self slowly and slowly to exercise and now i HATE food so i guess thats a 'good' thing. eitherway. yeah. ill wait untill im not fat anymoree to go to the doctors. i mean i hear enough at my own home of how ill die of diabetes and that no one will take of me once i get so fat that i'll be on a wheelchair.
maybe the doctors think that i forget about my body, maybe they think that we dont have mirrors.
i know they are very concerned about me though. so i'll just stay at home first, then the day i loose weight, lets hope it wont be too late for me . haha so funny. anyways bye
@@laurawallner639 you know. fat peopel n e ver get told all that you've just said. so how are we supposed to know if you don't tell us that. yeah cause yes your are right. but you also withhold that information from us, soo i mean alright.
I was incredibly skinny but "curvy" as a teen. You could count my ribs, but still had an hourglass figure and the amount of grown men that would hit on underwheight me was scary. I gained wheight in my 20s and went up two clothing sizes and feel so much more comfortable without being hit on or reduced to my body. The difference in how men treat me is wild, but I am so much more comfy being midsize
Oof, so sorry to hear this girl! Isn't it aggravating how, no matter which size you are, there are so many men out there whose treatment of you is based on their "would" metric? 🤮🤮🤮
@@LadyMontane And no matter the age!! I was 12 when adult men (often in their 30s and 40s) started harrassing me
I went from being “fat” to “normal” twice I’m my life and “fortunately” the only “privilege” I got is that I finally don’t get mean comments on my appearance or food choices. The bullying I got when I was younger though scarred me forever.
Honestly, someone will always feel like they have a right to comment on how you look and that’s some bullshit. It’s so hard to overcome low self esteem and a negative body image. Know this though: regardless of your weight, height, facial structure, hair type, body shape, mental health, quirks and so called “imperfections” YOU ARE WORTHY OF KINDNESS AND LOVE ESPECIALLY FROM YOURSELF💖 Please focus on your happiness, focus on your health, and focus on empowering and uplifting others. Amazing video as always Zoe!!!♥️♥️
The difference in social currency is real and I’ve experienced it; it’s subtle, but as someone neurodivergent it seems like people are less put off by my quirky behavior when I’m slim. I didn’t experience an impact outside of social situations or random attention from stranger (clothes never fit that well because I’m tall and have a larger chest) but it definitely exists.
However, lumping in stuff like “never been told my BMI is too high for a medical procedure” and “doctors blaming everything on fat” is dangerous. That’s not thin privilege, that’s not weight stigma, that’s a massively increased risk of death under anaesthesia. Fat alone can also lead to chronic low-grade inflammation and cause issues, or exacerbate minor issues to the point they become major. I have permanent physical damage from the time I spent obese. Doctors NEED to treat fat people (and women) with more respect but the medical impacts are real and feeling shamed doesn’t mean ignoring the actual dangers is the answer. Some trans men who are told they need to lose weight before top surgery have asserted that it’s because of fatphobia, but it’s because anaesthesia for patients above a certain BMI leads to procedural and post-operative risks like lung collapse, hypoxemia, nerve injuries, and myocardial infarction. These risks are negligible at a lower weight because a lot of the problems stem from the physical weight of fat pressing down on the throat and chest.
Conversations about fatphobia and weight stigma are way too un-nuanced; either it’s jerks saying it doesn’t exist and fat people just suck or people claiming every single fat-related issue imaginable can be solely attributed to weight stigma. There HAS to be a middle ground around changing attitudes and social stigma while also not denying some of the real risks and impacts of being fat.
This is so true. A lot of us already acknowledged that both thin and fat body get mistreated by society and we respect people on both ends. Now we should talk more about doctors HAVE TO estimate our weight because it can affect our health so much, and as you said, if a procedure is needed, weight can cause an increased chance of.. Death. Though of course it should be put politely.
Let's normalize health-related weight talk at a doctor and not equalize that to physical appeal comments
I'm not thin anymore, but I wanna address this because i saw this in the comments on a few of your videos:
Why do people think thinner people are "promoting EDs" by simply existing? They do this to heavier people too. I actually try not to show my full body on social media because I don't want people commenting about it on either end of the spectrum. My image of myself has improved over the years because of it.
This is so real!! Nobody's body is promoting anything unless they're wearing clothes that specifically promote something. Skinny people existing does not promote EDs regardless of whether or not you think they look healthy, and fat people existing does not promote an unhealthy lifestyle regardless of whether or not you think they look healthy. It's upsetting that people who are positive in one direction often can't see the other side despite being so close to getting it.
@@ruiqi22 right!! And having been on both sides (I've lost some inches on my waist in the last 3 years because homelessness kept me active), it makes it very difficult for me to want to brag about my progress because I don't need to see people saying "oh no you're too skinny again what happened" when it literally took me almost dying to start taking care of my health again
@@HighAsHeckPriestess Oh, man. I’m glad you’re doing better 🫂 It’s hard to not feel comfortable sharing important milestones with other people, but it is super amazing that you were able to recover from homelessness and nearly dying. Cheers to your future!
Yes!! Before I had my son I was very thin regardless of what I ate or did.
Dawg you were NEVER chubby you were NORMAL
I've always had an interest in weightlifting and have always found muscular women so attractive! I have been a tiny little lady my whole life, and when I told people I wanted to go to the gym I was constantly met with "Why? You're already thin." This put me off from going to the gym for a long time because I was hit with this poisonous jealousy around my body.
I’ve been obese for almost all my life. I finally lost over 100lbs and let me tell you: thin privilege is a thing. I am amazed at how different life is now and how much better people treat me. And it’s not because I’m more confident or things like that. People just assume the worst about you when you are fat.
I’ve always been quite slim naturally and people would call me names/call me out for it. It resulted in me feeling guilty for being skinny compared to other people. Not only that, I constantly overeat when I eat in public to prove people that I eat enough (to the point where I feel sick constantly and eating in general becomes a chore, because I always think I don’t eat enough as result of people telling me [angrily] I don’t eat enough) and I am ashamed of working out because if you work out as a skinny person you must be crazy, sick, selfish or have an ed of cause.
I know, this is highly subjective and probably nothing compared to people who are struggling with their weight but these can be some of the consequences of how a society (with a structural overweight problem) treats skinny people.
There are no simple answers to complex questions and a lot of things really depends on the person and their sensitivity and patterns towards things. Everything has it’s advantages and disadvantages.
That sucks. It sounds similar to my experiences with trying to eat healthy and adding in some exercise. I got ridiculed when I ate salads and exercised by family because "you're such a faker, no way you actually do this because you're so fat"
Ditto on the guilty feeling. People around me would blame me for making them feel insecure and get mad at me when I have nothing to do with their own insecurities. Like I’m just existing and now I have to cover up my body to make you happy? And those kinda of people judge literally anything you do or don’t eat around them there’s always some snarky comment it
It’s definitely an interested discussion. There’s a fine line between “fat phobic” and “your weight is a danger to yourself”. A lot of “fat phobic” things are actually for health reasons. A good example is seats in roller coasters having a weight limit, or surgery being more risky for bigger people. In these instances, it’s not pretty privilege it’s just, these are death risks.
There IS pretty privilege when it comes to fashion for sure:
- Bigger people are shamed for wearing things that show skin for example
- bikinis and bathing suits for sure
Food comments affect both skinny and fat people. People preach girls for being skinny even if they’re unhealthily starving themselves. People shame bigger people even if they eat well and genuinely are just bigger naturally.
i feel like there’s a line between using your body as an accessory and just wearing what looks good on you. chronically online people miss that line by miles sometimes
I’m 5’9 and went to my OBGYN a few months after having my baby and was 117. I relapsed into my Ed. They said nothing. But a bigger person will have all of their health problems blamed on weight. I was seen as healthy when I wasn’t bc I was thin. That’s all the proof I needed if thin privilege
I had a very similar experience after i had my son, no doctor ever took how underweight i was seriously, while if i was very overweight they would absolutely have mentioned it
Her content>>>>>>>other peoples content
Maybe this is just my opinion, I like Zoe but i think that she tends to hyper focus on her body too much. 95% of her videos now are just about her body, idk if this really healthy. She really lost me on her content when she made that video about why Asians were so skinny. As an Asian idk why there needed to be a whole video on it, it’s obvious that it’s social pressure plus transportation as 90% of it.
Thin people being put on a societal pedestal definitely makes getting help for eating disorders so much harder! It also encourages people to develop them.
I was very, very skinny as a teenager to the point my school relentlessly accused me of hiding an ED. I got held back on the school coach at P.E so that my P.E teacher could warn me about a girl two years above who's period had stopped because of her anorexia. Two weeks or so later, this same teacher called me out of Maths to go see the school nurse who said "your trousers are hanging off you". When I ran away from home due to family reasons, the school's resolve was to tell my parents to ask for a referral to a nutritionist. This actually made my eating go from fine to abysmally bad, I lived off cereals and sugary foods, but I actually proceeded to eat less foods than I was previously eating. I remember going with my mum to find a dress for a big 16th birthday party crying in the changing rooms because I couldn't fit into women's size clothing like the other girls in my year. I got called "flat chested banshee" "twig" "no t*ts" "child". It was awful. I'm actually overweight for my height now, and although I'm not happy at all, the comments are less directive (if not less harmful), but I'm thankful for my emotional maturity at this point because otherwise it would send me spiralling. Just... goddamnit... can we STOP making remarks on other people's bodies?!
Thank you so much for taking the time of talking about all of this topics, you are helping me a lot in my self love journey Zoe
I am right in the middle of losing weight and I can say that people definitely treat you differently. The amount of praise I've received so far is interesting. Could be because people know that losing weight is not that easy and takes discipline, but I feel like I've become more *visible* which is strange.
This is such a vibe 😮💨 I’ve been making some lifestyle changes bc of health problems + since losing a bit of weight, people seem to notice my existence more than before :/ I’ve always been a bit chubby + I remember always feeling a little bit invisible
you’re not crazy, i’ve seen many people who’ve lost or gained a decent amount of weight say that when they were bigger eyes would glide right over them. then they lost weight and people actually looked at them. held the door, complimented them, etc.
Pain is Pain, and pain cannot be measured or compared with one another
Love your videos smm
I agree. Kinda. It’s little more than pain when it affects the health care you receive and the job opportunities and stuff. It’s not “eat a burger” vs. “your fat” or how much the fashion industry is mostly made for thinner bodies. People in the comments who’ve been on both ends explain it a lot better than me 😊
@@nastyaaa6993
yeah i've been thru both and altough i've hated my body both skinny and "fat" (normal weight but the fattest in my class so i got fat shamed alot) i have to say that fat shaming is just on another level. skinny shaming comes from people being jealous and being assholes bc of that. when i was chubbier, i could see the disgust in their eyes while looking at me. being the skinny one (but flat af) made me insecure of my body and afraid of wearing certain clothes. being the fat one resulted in an ED and just in general made me want to like cut my fat with a knife (does that even make sense?). both are bad, but personally, fat shaming made me feel like I don't deserve to eat and enjoy eating
Been real skinny my entire life, but not only skinny, underweight due to my metabolism, and this has affected several areas of my life. Making my menstruation irregular, with pain peaks some months, giving me harsh and acute pains at random in certain body parts, anemia, more susceptible to cold and diseases, an incredible difficulty to gain weight and in general insecurity cause of the thinness of my limbs and such. People do view me as attractive though, and sometimes it's almost infuriating how they tell me their desire to have my body when I know the insecurities it brings and health issues as well. I have also gotten the other spectrum of comments though, "do you even eat?", "you're so small, I could win a fight against you any time", "What you're doing is unhealthy" and a large list of etc. Also the body dysmorphia hits hard, sometimes feeling pretty and attractive, others feeling disgusting and breakable.
Point is, neither side is having a good time, so everyone do the world a favor and shut up about others' bodies, the only one you have power upon is your own
I think the medical fatphobia argument is very valid- I’ve developed a fear of seeking medical attention just because of my weight ever since I was like 13 and my doctor literally gave me pamphlets for an ED support group and sent me off without a word.
BUT in recent years I’ve come to the belief that it’s important for people to get that “obese” diagnosis and be given the steps to lose the weight rather than thinking it’s just their doctor belittling them. I trust that my medical provider has no intent to shame me, but is also willing to tell me to my face that my being severely overweight could kill me in the long run. Like, let’s not practice denying medical facts!
I'm a dancer who does a lot of lifts (stunts that often involve being thrown or lifted). I'm so tired of people saying "Oh well, of course you're good at this because you're skinny. It's easy for you." Ummm. WHAT? So you're going to discount the years of work it took me to gain these skills? The workouts, the training, being in a lot of pain after every practice until my body got stronger? For years? None of that matters apparently. I suppose it's actually easy for me to do what I do. Because I'm thin.
Hey Zoe, love your content. This one hit home for me. Your vid’s have helped me a lot knowing that I’m not alone.
I literally love Zoe's content....I feel like more people especially young girls(and young women) should watch her content
Not trying to undermine anyone’s feelings but as a person who was skinny and is now fat. I would much rather hear the criticisms I used to hear as a skinny person. The things I have to hear as a fat person are so so much hurtful and they have major drawbacks such as not getting jobs.
I was a skinny kid and now as an adult I'm still thin, so I've had skinny privilege all my life. Over the last 5ish years I've gained about 10 pounds which finally put me at what doctors told me all my life was my 'ideal weight'. Now that I'm here (and while getting here) I have struggled so much with my self-perception because on the one hand: I finally have a small chest and can actually fill out shirts (which I never even dreamed of) and people have stopped asking me if I have an ED (namely, an***xia).
On the other hand, I was told all my life that once I was no long stick thin I wouldn't be desirable to men (but I've also been told men don't like sticks and bones so really can't win) and would no longer be attractive, and I also have more of a stomach and I've had to get rid of clothes I've had for years because they don't fit and it's hard! I did even briefly develop an ED when I was younger because I was terrified of gaining weight since my friends (who were bigger than I was) told me I would be ugly if I did. Thankfully, my mom noticed fairly quickly and got me help. But now, I'm just not used to seeing my body this way - even though I know I'm still thin and treated well, to me in my mind's eye I am bigger than I was and therefore am worse off somehow.
So while I recognize that society still views me as thin, I'm still caught up in how I used to look and it's hard to accept that your body changes as you get older. Balancing the negative (ED comments, clothes don't fit right etc) with the positive (people don't stare or move when I'm near them, my size is more likely to be in stock) of being thin is a challenge. I hope this is coming across correctly and I don't want to offend anyone.
I relate to this so much! I was always skinny shamed (even though people thought they were saying nice things), and now when I’m a little bit older I’m starting to gain a bit around my hips and stomach. People still comment on my appearance, and now I even get the “you’re kinda skinny” comment which REALLY messes with my head, and I guess my self perception.
I wish people would just stop commenting on other peoples bodies. Period.
Zoe, you're like the best friend that i don't have🖤 thank you for your videos, i love them!
Thank you for this video! This heroin chic era makes me so insecure even tho I have a normal weight..
Girl rock what you got 💅🏾.
Some people are naturally that skinny they can't gain weight still not nice to call them heroin chic they're just simply existing
@@icarus1998 sorry didn’t want to hurt anyone, I’m very aware of that. Just wanted to mention the “trend” that is going on right now
@@ninas228 Yeah I understand where you coming from no problem
13:51 oh yeah my hate towards my body started at 5 ish because some not-so-kind skinny girl was mean to me. I’m almost 16 now and only NOW I start to learn how to love my body. I learnt to appreciate that I was always strong, that I could ski, do taekwondo and other things I like. But it’s stil there. This stupid hate any time I’m bloated or ate “too much” or binged a bag of croissants because they were rlly good ( my friend made them for me :)) I hope one day every person will live themselves and nobody will care about other peoples bodies ❤
I'm so proud of you ❤
I make no apologies, I like to be slim and I work at it.
Your videos are like free therapy
4:45 I totally believe that I gain privilege because of how thin I am, but many thin people such as myself can't find clothes that fit them because of how thin they are. I can never find jeans because my waist is 24 inches. Every piece of clothing is incredibly baggy, and most stores don't carry an abundance of 2xs-xs in clothing. Totally believe in everything ur saying, my life is easier because of my low BMI, but just wanted to point out that they don't stock sizes for us underweight girls either.
i feel like no matter what you do, there will always be people who hate you for who you are
But at the end of day people who are overweight face discrimination and bullying in a more severe way. Even if ur incredibly underweight and recieve inappropriate comments ur 1. still the standard of beauty 2. Still at an advantage .
I went from being chubby, used to have a lot of comments like « you should lose some weight, look at your body » so i lost 30lbs, was happy with my thin body and had a better health but now have a lot of « uh you’re so thin, it’s not beautiful at all » from my family, especially my grandmother who speaks italian to others ( as she thinks i don’t understand) to tell them how much im ugly. You could be overweight or skinny, you will never win
Never forget, you are all beautiful
the fact that i was very unhealthy when i was skinny and no on told me a thing but as soon as i started gaining wait everyone started telling me that i am unhealthy not knowing that i was literally a lot healthier than before like wth
and the worst was when i took my dad to a clinic bec HE WAS SICK , NOT ME but the doc started telling me to loose weight because i am very unhealthy
The queen has uploaded again yessss
The ‘your butt is so boney!’ Is so relatable. I constantly feel like a thin layer of skin holding in bones. I work out a lot to get myself more thick.
if you aren’t taking in enough protien, no matter how much weights you lift, you will not get “thick.”
This is a great explaination of how we treat women based upon size. Sometimes it is never good enough, people are going to judge you anyway.
I wish we as women would talk about it more and be honest about why we wanna loose weight. Some people do it for their health but to me it seems, it is always about the privileges. I don't know what it is like to be skinny, but to me the privileges of being skinny and the possibility of thin shaming were always better option then being just fat. I love the video, you greatly summarized a complicated topic into a few minutes. I would love to know more about what you think about this.
I was always a girl considered with a "hot body", but after the pandemic I ended up gaining weight. When I went back to high school the treatment was totally different and certain people didn't even look in my face in the hallways anymore. Unfortunately, I ended up developing a ED and after losing a lot of weight I'm still trying to recover from it.
I've had people (family friends and family) make comments (not snide but more like observations) about my body. No one has ever called me fat outright but I did have a woman pull size 2x clothes for me and I have NEVER in my life been 2x so I had a breakdown... but the other thing is that us constantly thinking about this, contributes to it...
Thin privilege exists!! In school, I am overweight, so I am kind of an outsider; I have tried to make friends, but then they called me fat and embarrassed me in front of the whole school. Meanwhile, the other girls in my school who are skinny don't have to worry about that stuff, especially the pretty ones. They get treated nicely by teachers and other students. This video is giving me the drive I need to lose weight. Oh yeah, and literally last month, in a school club, we were gonna skip with skipping ropes, then the instructors said that only the fat people would skip. Having so many eyes on you while skipping is TERRIBLE, especially for me as an introvert.
Story time : some years ago I went to the doctor because I do sleep apnea. When the doctor asked me my weight and that I said him my bmi was 25 (which is a normal bmi) he looked at me from the top to the bottom and told « don’t take much hum » with a disgusted (I guess?) expression. He was implying I was overweighted and I should louse weight or at least, don’t take a single pound.
My bmi was at 25 !
I’ve always been skinny in the past but since the pandemic I gained weight because of ✨magic of ed✨ (I do hyperphagia) and I was really insecure at this period because of this. I was a f*cking 25 bmi and I experienced fat phobia.
I felt so ashamed after this medical appointment. I don’t want to imagine what fat people experience every time they go to see a doctor
that doctor is super unprofessional for telling you that. im so sorry that you had to deal w him. this type of unprofessionalism and invalidation is precisely why some ppl dread going to see the doctors.
@@tingybong i swear💀 he was so nice and gentle during the whole rest of the consultation, but just this part I still don’t understand
I’m sorry about that doctors comment. It’s insensitive and also clinically simplistic of not wrong. I have sleep apnea. I am not, nor have I been overweight (if anything sometimes I’ve been underweight). Not all cases are related to weight. A persons anatomy can have to do with it or it can have neural origin.
From a med student's perspective there's reason why human tend to feel healthy yet skinny people are beautiful. It's how human evolution worked.. extremely skinny or extremely obese people are ruled out by nature forever. And that is why there's nothing wrong when a doctor asks you to lose some weight cause you may just go on with ITS MY BODY but it's harming you inside. Same goes for extremely skinny people. But these days social media is creating a confusion which is making everyone feel abt skinny privilege and fatphobia. There's no such thing. It's been like that forever and will be like that forever. It depends on you how you maintain a healthy BMI.
just want to give a hug to everyone in the comments right now, reading through everyone's experiences. there is no one like you and will never be anyone like you again, and that's beauty (fr tho genetically there will never be anyone like you again). ultimately, social trends come and go. be kind to yourself :))
also so glad this is being talked about, this video was amazing
girl i love you and youre amazing but you were never chubby, at your biggest you were still skinny (coming from a skinny girl) you have never expereicned "non skinny" shaming
True, but at the same time, Aisan skinny is not the same European skinny. So I get where she's coming from.
I'm sorry, but unless you were in her body, you can't just tell her she never experienced it. Just because you consider her thin at her heaviest, doesn't mean that other people did. the concept of "thin" is different everywhere. That invalidation of her experiences is exactly why some people feel like their experiences don't matter, or that they don't have the right to feel uncomfortable in their bodies or uncomfortable about the way people are commenting on their bodies because they are, in your opinion "still skinny." Microaggressions are still aggressions. Just because someone doesn't outright call you a whale, doesn't mean people aren't subtly treating you differently.
skinny shaming exists but its nowhere near fat shaming when your thinness is the standard, even if you're on the verge of an eating disorder you will still be considered a model lmao lets's not lie to each other
Let's just all agree that no matter what, adele is always gorgeous 😍
Thin privilege might be a thing if fat people were actually born fat and it really was bad luck. You can't blame someone else for the fact that you consume an excess of calories
being fat is one of the few disadvantages that you yourself can change and improve. i saw one fat acceptance person say being fat is being marginalized just like the LGBT, mentally ill, POC, etc. great news to her!!!! you can change your marginalization unlike the rest of those groups
When I was being complimented for being “SO PRETTY AND THIN!” I was on heroin. 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ It was really triggering for me. When I gained weight when after I got sober and dealt with cancer during the pandemic, I have people like my cousin telling me I needed to lose weight. It’s maddening. A+ video!
Obese privilege is real, being able to overeat and complain about "fatphobia"
Some people will never understand that even if you love yourself to the fullest now and you are happy with a healthy body that being a little overweight, or a little underweight, how easy it is to slip for a second in your old mind set. It takes a second to get back to the time when you were put last in list of pretty girls by boys, when you were called a pretty face with a tummy and now you may not care about others opinion, but the thought of wanting to be skinny, even if you already are, in an unhealthy way it can easily cross you mind when you were scarred as a child. It is just an intrusive thought, but as much as I love food and working out and my balanced life, there isn't a single time that when I get stomach pain or throw up that I think oh well I guess it's an excuse to eat just the bare minimum. To this day I find it sad that I can't stop this thoight from crossing my mind even if for a second
I feel like people who feel truly bad for being "skinny shamed" are people who never experienced being fat before and probably struggle to gain weight. As someone who's been both, at least when I lost weight I got a lot of compliments
I disagree with the comparison of Joaquin Phoenix and Adele. He was "applauded" because he was playing a role in a movie which transformed his appearance. Adele was losing the weight for herself. Of course she shouldn't be criticized for that, but you are comparing different things. The public tends to "approve" dramatic weight loss or weight gain for movie roles. That's a whole other subject though.
I recently went to the Dr and was told I really need to put some effort into my weightloss journey...I have lost 231lbs! And am a UK size 8/10. To be honest it put me off wanting to see them! Especially as I am disabled and have BED and SRED so getting to where I am is something I'm proud of, but was left feeling like I shouldn't be .
❤❤❤You’re awesome.❤❤❤
@Dutchess Dreamer aww thank you
I am a 14yo girl and i am skinny ever since i was little. Many of my friends often tell me how lucky i am to have defined collar bones and thin waist whereas its totally different for my relatives. they always skinny shame me by saying your parents must have not fed you enough or do you even eat properly...
One day my aunt even said jokingly that i look better in winters as layering my clothes makes me look healthier.
So what i am trying say is that people are gonna have various opinions abt your body and instead of pleasing every one of them, you should do what makes you feel heathier and a better version of yourself❤️
I have been classed as morbidly obese, and now I am just overweight, working towards a healthy weight. Thin privilege and ‘Fatphobia’ are not real!
At least in Australia, you don’t get ‘oppressed’ for being fat. And being thin is something you have to work hard at. Both are just made to glorify and justify bodies. Dumb.
You didn't talk about how a privilege is an unearned advantage... but being thin is earned, not unearned
LISTEN:: body shaming for ANYONE hurts, but i ask that all skinny people consider the fact that skinny shaming tends to come from a place of jealousy or concern, where fat shaming comes from a place of thinking you are disgusting and don’t deserve to live. there is a big difference between people saying “have you been eating enough” and “you need to stop eating”. skinny shaming has NO systematic issues, and most of the people saying the shameful comments don’t mean any true harm because they view skinniness as positive.
i grew up on the low side of fat my whole life, i was around a size 14/16 (but since i’m 5’10 i just seem bigger than others), and it was awful. i was bullied endlessly by friends, family, strangers, and more. i was compared to shrek, told to not eat, asked if i was pregnant when i was SIX YEARS OLD!!! and the entire 18 years of that made me feel totally unloveable. i developed an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, and i ended up losing over 60 pounds. i’m 22 now and i’ve been at an average/thin weight for a few years, and the mental damage is still the same: i constantly see myself as fat and disgusting even tho NOW people at restaurants give me free food and drinks, everyone is so sweet and compliments me constantly, and i can find cute clothes anywhere. when people who haven’t seen me in years see me again they always mention how skinny i am and how much weight i’ve lost and it’s even more triggering because it reinforces that i’m fat and ugly in everyone’s memory of me lmao.
just stop talking about peoples bodies, but also stop trying to claim that skinny shaming is just as bad, because it is not. i’d rather be told i need to eat a cheeseburger than told to starve myself like i was throughout my childhood.
There is no skinny privilege only fat consequences.
It’s not about being confident, it’s about healthy, both physically and mentally, bigger girls do make skinny women their enemies and viceversa
When I had a baby, I gained 20 lbs. I was still barely overweight, but I noticed that when I went shopping for clothes stuff was mostly very rude to me, which didn't happen before. I remember one woman said to me, just when I walked into that store: "we don't have such large sizes". It was extremely rude, unprovoked and it really made me sad. She was grinning while she said that so probably she was very aware she hurt me. And I just had a baby. So, yes, that happens.
This video gave me flashbacks. When I was in school, I weighed 140lbs. Not thin, not obese and still my doctor would tell me to go on a diet plan every time I saw them. This triggered my ED..... lost all of the weight.... ruined my metabolism.... and now I weigh more than I did. THANK YOU FOR BEING A VOICE FOR WOMEN. Not enough people talk about these things.
"Literally, NOBOBY can win". So true.
I’m sorry Zoe I do love your channel but I don’t agree with you referring to yourself as “kind of chubby” in the photo at 6:17. Yes, you weren’t severely obese. But also, you weren’t remotely chubby. Looking at a perfectly average human body and suggesting that you can relate to the experience of being overweight is absurd. How do you think that makes people who struggle with obesity feel? I’m not even obese and I’m super uncomfortable.
The whole world treats me better when I am skinny 😩 I want to let it all go but the difference in how people treat me is too much. I can't give up skinny privilege 😭
Skinny-shaming is a weird thing in Indian culture. Like, you experience it more when you're younger because there's a concept of 'healthy weight' but when you're past your early twenties suddenly more people (especially other women) start telling you "you're so lucky your body doesn't retain weight".
Skinny shaming from ostensible and real health concerns often times correlate more to specific features than actual weight or BMI - like, I have dark under eye circles genetically, sharp angled face, and skinny wrists, so even when I have a tummy those features are still commented on as 'unhealthy skinny' because overall I don't look thick.
i think being and feeling healthy is a privilege that not everyone has, you look and hope you feel great, haters gonna hate, just don’t let them get under your skin x
My body has been commented on from when I was overweight to when I was fairly skinny. My entire life it has been "She needs a bigger bra" "Oh your so fat" "You have too much muscle" "Have you lost weight?" "Your boobs are bigger than mine" "you should workout more" "why do you workout so much" "Are you sure your a small?"
And that's excluding comments on when I had eczema and really bad acne.
Right now I workout almost everyday because I love it and want to be the healthiest version of myself. Not for a specific body. First because your body doesn't make you happy and people will always think there is something wrong with your body. And no shape will make you healthy and feel good
How are ppl getting mad a doctors for doing their jobs? Do they expect to go to checkups and not have their weight brought up? That would mean the doctor isn’t doing their job right. If you don’t want to be ridiculed by your doctor, listen to them and exercise and eat healthier. Take some responsibility instead of making the internet feel bad for you
A doctor has to address your health problems because it's their job. Being obese is indeed a health problem. Calling it "shaming" is just childlish.
I think some people bully skinny people out of jealousy. I am rather thin, but I wouldn't say skinny. But I am constantly wanting to be skinner and look more toned. I have NEVER wanted to or aimed to be chubby. I know I used to have an ED so my opinion probably sounds unhealthy but that's just my experience. I know that starving yourself and being too skinny is not healthy, BUT medically getting over a certain BMI and being obese is extremely unhealthy, leads to premature death, diabetes, heart problems etc. So I think it makes sense that people want and idolize a thin/skinny physique. To idolize a body that is medically unhealthy and frankly, less desired by most potential mates, it makes sense that people would want to get away from that kind of body as much as possible. I certainly don't want to grantee premature death, diabetes or a heart attack. So yeah, the reality is that skinny bodies are more desirable to most of the population.
Thin privilege is a myth
I've been overweight and thin. never skinny, only thin, but you can't deny that people treat you differently based on your weight and appearance in general! personally, I hated being overweight -- not only because of social stigma but also because it felt very uncomfortable. I've been able to lose the extra weight now and I've felt the skinny privilage coming back again but these discussions for me are so so so important so I never forget how bad it feels to be judged and never do that to another person.
My problem with skinny shaming is that everybody gets shamed for their body type. Even if you are considered average, you will be shamed for something. Skinny people are not the only ones getting shamed, even if the comments they receive are hurtful, skinny people still have thin privilege
when I get told that I got my promotions and positions due to my skinny or pretty privilege I used the hispanic proverb: Haga lo mismo y no sufra (do the same and don't suffer)
I'm super a peaky eater so I usually don't accept people when they invite me something, and two times I have receive comments like "don't be shy, you must eat gross alone either way" maybe this seem little, but I'm very introvert so I don't go out so that this was said to me twice is A LOT, just because I'm fat.
I'm thin and I'm thin shamed
I wouldn't say being thin is a privilege but you get better treat ment when you are thin so maybe there comes pribilege with being thin. Having lost 25kg I can clearly see how much better I get treated at the same time wen I was extreamly thin in my early twenties I got also a lot of flag for being to thin. All in all I got shamed more for being overly skinny than being a fat,
lol when you are skinny you still don't look good in most fits and get often overlooked unless you have nice body shape,pretty face hair etc so why everyone is so focusing so much on weight