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Hey. I've been watching your videos for a while and I appreciate your honesty about such subjects. I also have a chronic mental illness and right now I'm struggling with the fact that I had to drop out of college and eventually will have to start it all over again. I grieve not being able to have the same graduation time as my friends. Stay strong.
I can imagine how hard that must be for you. I was struggling during my university studies but I kept pushing past a few years after nursing. Thing is... now I realized if I would have taken the time then... I might not have gotten so bad later. All my friends moved on... and the ones left... I have grown apart from because Im always tired aside work. People, friends, aquintences... all come and go. Yes, you keep some nice memories... but at what expense? My point is. From someone who has been there, you are doing the right. thing by you. You might miss graduating with your class, but youll have something much better. I promise.
You have the hope of returning to college at some point. For some with chronic mental illness, that hope has been lost and will never return. Not to minimize your grief, which is awful, but to encourage you that you still have a lot to look forward to.
I've been grieving this at the moment, with chronic mental illness and chronic physical illness and disability, I used to be so different, I'm not the parent I wanted to be, I'm in bed 3/4 of everyday, so I can only do 1 thing a day and sometimes then bedbound for a week after, I always mask and try to push though, and then make myself so much worse. This video has me bawling, thank you, I feel seen.
I have other mental illnesses but I really relate to this. I'm quite a bit older than you and struggle to accept that I didn't do all I thought I should be able to do in life.
I want to let you know how wonderful I think you are and even though I don’t consider myself one that has a mental illness I struggle with old age I am 77. After listening to this message I feel the same way and beat myself up for not doing what I could do physically and mentally 3 or 4 years ago. I am not a professional but you are helping so many people with your sharing of your journey I believe you can and will be able to do anything you desire in your own way and timing. God bless you
I also think that this applies to me, in my case it simply due to age as I also I don’t consider myself one that has a mental illness. We need you listen to friends and family sometimes.
My thoughts exactly!! I am in my late 50's and going through the tail end of the menopausal change! My mental capacity has changed and I can fully identify with your comment. Letting go of the things we were so capable of doing what feels like not so long ago is hard! And allowing others to take those things over for us feels so strange. But we do have to realise our changing capacity - and acknowledge the need for others to take care of some of those things that are now too much for us! May God give you the guidance to negotiate this new season of your life!
Omg yes it is such a head game! What a self esteem rollar coaster. It feels bad to say you can't do something, but it feels worse to try and fail due to something out of your control.
I think of capacity like Maslow's hierarchy of needs for the body. When the body is ill - in any way - substantial resources are being used for the fundamentals. A very ill person may only have enough capacity for survival (eating, sleeping, etc.). At a better state, you can attend to your shelter (like getting up and doing dishes). Better still might be socializing and attending to exercise and such. It takes a very well person (no matter what diagnoses or not) to attend to actualization needs. Whatever you can attend to is what you should be doing. There are no right things to be doing - you MUST attend to those needs in order.
Same for me, but severe PTSD/trauma. Its understandable that at 24 I can't do things my other less traumatized peers can. They didn't have the challenges I had. My family is fully to blame for having done so many wrong things to me that I am left in this state. And that's not my fault Still, life can feel exhausting when you feel like its one problem after the other
Lauren: (1) You're a gift to humanity through your work on this channel. Don't ever forget or underestimate your value to so many others of your work. (2) Capacity is a good word. In financial matters, it's easier for us to estimate what our financial capacity is which makes it less difficult to rationally allocate those scarce financial resources to their best personal uses. In addition, the costs are usually much clearer in many financial matters. Even so, we often over commit beyond our financial capacity! Measuring our physical and emotional capacity is much more difficult. As a result, it's very easy to overcommit ourselves to ourselves or others. I think most of us do so even those without any significant physical or mental restrictions. In a perfect world, we wouldn't beat ourselves up when we overcommit either financially or otherwise. Rather, it would be more beneficial to rationally make judgements whether our commitments fit our resources. Like life in general, it's not always an easy thing to do! We live and try to learn!
I also have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. And I appreciate your work and the awareness you bring to the subject. What you stated is true I also wrestle with the same things that you are speaking on. I just wanted to add that what you are explaining is not exclusive to people with mental illness but for many. Just thought I would let you know. Because although we do have a illness of the mind we do not have to let it cripple us or short change our ambitions.
Never cripple or hinder, but we must also be realistic of certain limitations and be mindful of what we value. When I think big ang get exited, I feel like I can do more than I can. I think that I should at least try... but when this happens over and over again and it back fires leaving me drained, sometimes agrevating my mental illness even more (depression, burnout, adhd)... It takes a huge tole on my my health, my confidence, my family and my recovery takes longer and longer each time. So, we dont have to "limit outselves" but awareness and acceptance is crucial.
This is difficult, especially with perfectionists, before and after diagnosis, pre med and post med, and the waxing and waning of symptoms and confidence changes. You are doing really well. Rob loves you and wants to protect you. So difficult for both of you yet worth it. ❤ You communicate so well Lauren🤗
You have such a kind heart to share your insights or struggles and your accomplishments! I love watching your videos to learn more about mental illness. Thank you so much for sharing!
Love this. For me I got a big kick when I learned to live within my capacity. I kind of ran out of steam but I'm back to manifesting my dreams. Keep up the advocacy and vunerability.
Really relate to this too right now! My husband tells me to slow down and he’s right. So, I am going to have a ‘no’ November where I say no to things ahead of December when it gets busy again 💚
I said 'no' to DEcember-period. NOt something everyone can do but literally NO ONE understands not to overload me. After being such a Christmas failure, I refuse now.
You can achieve anything you want, all that changes is how long it takes and how hard you will work, even with a mental illness. If you loose both your arms you can still become a painter, you'll just need to spend a lot of work learning how to either use your mouth or feet or some assistance technology like a robot arm. You can still paint, but it will take more time and effort than when you still had both arms. It's the same with mental illness
I definitely still feel the same way about my schizoaffective disorder! It’s a matter of scaling back your definition of success and how you pace yourself! One shouldn’t compare oneselves to others who may not have mental health difficulties! Sometimes we need to take into account, though it’s difficult, where one is and take stock of where one, who needs to operate within a new set of boundaries! These boundaries aren’t to stifle but to rather create a greater sense of care for your mental and emotional health while still functioning in society!
These videos are so helpful for me. I also struggle with schizoeffective disorder with major depression. I’m constantly overwhelmed at work and I don’t handle my stress well because it interferes with my symptoms. I don’t have the same capacity as I used to either. So I can completely relate to you 100%.
Capacity is the perfect word. It’s the truthful word. I have lupus, and I constantly struggle with the grief of having developed a limited capacity. Sometimes, for me, it’s the hardest part of having a chronic illness. Sending huge solidarity, and gratitude for this really helpful video.💜
Thank you very much for addressing this aspect of mental illness. My loved one who suffers from this affliction had dreams and goals, but she has been derailed and is struggling to get back on track. Accepting her limitations has been heart breaking for all of us. As we took a long time to accept the devastating toll it can take on everything it touches. You are doing well . We all have fallen short. So don't despair instead be grateful for what you are accomplishing. You give us all hope.
Lauren, I value your insights very much. To do what you are doing takes a great deal of capacity. I hope you and Rob are able to resolve the conflicts arising out of frustration, fear, and-maybe-miscommunication. ❤
Lauren, I don’t think you are alone in this in that it can be a shared tendency with all people. My sister and I found this with our father as he got older. He died at 96 but was active for most of those years. When he began to find limitations on his abilities he wasn’t really accepting. My sister and I discussed with him that we have seasons of life and our abilities change. I hope I can accept my changing seasons gracefully. I’ll still be sad I’m sure but I’ll try to find other things I can do. You do a great thing here…keep putting one foot in front of the other. ❤
I love what you said at the end, of how it's not a deficit, it's just a difference. This has been a huge part of my healing and living with grief as well, because I think about ways I understand the world that I could never have dreamed of if I had never gotten sick and disabled. And beyond even just my own new ways of knowing and being, I see how my need to slow down, do less, and just be, is also something that inspires and nourishes other people to do the same---even if they are not chronically ill or neurodivergent. I kind of think of it as a superpower now! xD Even with just my pace in movement, I walk slower. So I get to quite literally stop and smell the roses, and take whoever is with me on that journey too, y'know? : )
Totally get it. My brain broke a few years ago from my depression/nervous breakdown. Lost my edge, my focus, my being able to follow from start to finish. Learning to accept my limitations. Stat strong, sister
yeah, I think we have ingrained this idea that we can do whatever we set our mind to. And it may be true in many cases, but that always has a cost (your time, your health, your family, etc.) and sometimes that cost is not worth it.
Thank you for sharing ❤️ you're not alone. Speaking to the struggles of internalized ableism is important. The social model of disability comes to mind, it speaks to the often limited access and accomidations available in our environments...including the expectations of people around us and our own conditioned expectations of "functioning" as a person.
You have recognition of the lifestyle you want- my kid does not seem to have aspirations to do his best- knowing he has limitations but he invites lowest capacity! Congrats on aiming high as you want to go!
It is prudent to recognise your own limitations. A constantly racing mind takes its toll. Like a bee hovering from flower to flower, but never do a flower through. It is alright Lauren. Please dont be too demanding on yourself. Perhaps you should take on less , but accomplish completion. Often ,it is not the goal completion that matters, rather the way/journey to it. You educate,grow, change, struggle , reorient yourself on the path to a goal completion, somtimes altering the goal as you strive to it. Even if you never get there, you benefit all so much, on the way there. It is alright Lauren.
About a year ago I found out I have DID and the year before that I was struggling with my energy and capacity, not knowing what was wrong. I used to own my own salon and was a hairstylist for 40 years. It was like the old me had died and that was hard. I have learned that no matter what happens in my life nothing stays the same. I personally found Jesus during this time and that stabilized me but for sure it is a grieving time. Thank you for this video it made me look at myself, (once again) but now I can see I have grown.
God Bless you sister. I became a Christian 4 years ago which has helped get my head around a lot of things and helps me with my mental illness too. I am so pleased you have Jesus for when we are weak He is strong 🙏💚
For a long time my husband and I have talked about our “concentration points”. It’s like we have a maximum amount of these points per day or month and things use up our points. It could be a task and the time/energy it will take (e.g., I like laundry so it doesn’t take many points but worrying about phoning someone will take up a lot for me). It’s not a literal tally just a concept we use to discuss how we are feeling about something and when our concentration points are getting maxed out.
Also remember that you are a parent and also at your most generative stage of life and there just isn’t enough time to do everything. There will be a time coming up when you will have more than 20 minutes to yourself. Truly!!
I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia this year at the age of 21. This idea of capacity was something I had to very quickly come to terms with, and something I'm still learning to navigate. It's such an important concept that it's okay for your life to not look like it did 6 months ago, that it's okay to have a new normal. Thanks for sharing your experiences with this.
Sometimes its about letting go of the romanticism we have about life, and understanding that our capacities are actually limited according to the difficulties we are facing. Understanding that, it is possible to overcome it.
I know exactly what your talking about, before my schizophrenia diagnosis I was able to complete several tasks in one day . Now it`s like if I do laundry I`m DONE for the rest of the day and people don`t understand why you are tired and your energy is drained. The depression you feel makes you not want to do anything or be around people sometimes plus depending on how you cope with the voices you hear, it can make things difficult.
I think this is pretty normal as you age. It’s hard for anyone to admit to themselves that you can’t do what you did in the past. If you have children and a husband/partner, they come first .
Thank you... hopefully people discover it's about " being" rather than " doing." Be kind, be love, be good, be inspiring, etc ..be what and who you are the best possible each day...not do this or that...doing is not as important or influential as being...just calibrating at a higher consciousness effects others more than doing
It is very hard supporting someone you love 24/7. Being a carer or support person can take it's toll if you don't look after your own health and make time for yourself.
The struggle is universal. At 70 I can do anything I want, but if I do I’ll be in bed three days too sore to move. Even we “normal” people have to sort this out and deal with it as best we can. I can’t run a mini marathon. I now take pleasure walking my puppy in the park.
Just over a year ago, I was diagnosed with DID (dissociative identity disorder). Everything you say about capacity also applies to me with this disorder. And you are right when you say that there is a grieving process, because it feels to me as if I lost what I used to be able to do. I can still function, post diagnosis, but there is so much more to manage, now my system is all spilled out, so to speak. A friend of mine who is injured in a car accident many years ago said to me, “Before the accident, I could rollerskate. After the accident, I could not rollerskate. This is for you like the accident was for me.” She was right, and it helped to hear it. I think the thing with a mental health diagnosis is that I look just like I always did! On the outside, there are no obvious visible signs of anything going on inside my head, even though there’s plenty going on inside my head, let me tell you! People just don’t understand that everything about your life has changed, almost overnight, at least it was for me. There really is a significant change in capacity. Thank you for teaching us. My 20 year old niece was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia, which is why I’m here. But so much of what you say also applies to me. Thank you.
I have schizophrenia , and after my last hospitalization I had to accept the fact that I can’t work a normal job , and accept that it is ok that I only work a really light part time job
You are amazing. Thank you for being you, and for sharing yourself so openly. You can't even imagine the extent to which you are positively impacting lives and the world as a whole. Thank you for choosing to be here. I have had my own struggles, and I know that sometimes, it's not an easy choice. But understand that you are so needed here. Learning to check in with yourself and see and lovingly accept a new normal is a huge life lesson we all learn at some point. I lost some capacity with life stress trauma. Some more, with a concussion. Even more with chemo treatments. And aging, alone, changes our capacity. At 55, my vision, stamina, cognitive function are not what they were. But I am who and what I am supposed to be in this moment. I have many experiences that allow me to empathize and connect with, and often reassure, others. I think that's a big part of our lives. As Ram Dass said, "We are all just walking each other home. " You are smoothing the path for so many. Deep thanks. ❤️
Wow, you are such a smart cookie these days Lauren. That enthusiasm to 'do it all' I'm sure comes from your upbringing .. a confidence to dive into life and live it to the full. Definitely a good thing to have. It's not just people with disabilities who discover their limits, we all must face those times when all our hopes and dreams seem to be beyond the reach of our innate talents. There is a grieving there to be done by all of us. But looking back over a life, I think it's better to crash and burn than never take flight at all.
I find that it’s a cycle of grief for me. I’ll make peace with it then get upset all over again. And as time goes on it changes too- what you have is not guaranteed. Anyways. Thanks for your valuable insights, I relate a lot.
It’s important to try and focus on what is within your limits. It’s difficult to accept sometimes that these limits can hold you back, but it’s just as important to be kind to yourself! It’s a matter of being mindful and alert and recognize when these feelings arise!
My capacity to do anything has completely disintegrated lately. I can barely make food or keep the house clean, let alone pursue my many interests and goals. As a result my self esteem has plummeted. I know this will pass and I will be able to do the things I want to do eventually, with work, but this change in my capacity has been so painful. It was nice to watch this video and allow it to serve as a reminder that it's ok to give myself grace and to just accept what is instead of beating myself up for all my shortcomings. Eventually I will get to a place where I can achieve the many things I aspire to do. Maybe then I'll come back to this video and remember this time when I could barely survive and I'll be grateful that I have the problem of balancing it all instead of not being able to do any of it.
thank you for your really insightful discussion of this, Lauren! i live with major depressive disorder and the intensity of my symptoms fluctuates with time. the last couple weeks have been a bad period, and I am having to contend with my reduced capacity in this state. it's like my number of spoons, which is usually just enough to handle my day to day, has been halved or quartered, and there is an emotional difficulty to coming to terms with this. hoping to find modifications to my healthcare and goals to make things work.
I still remember the times when I loved being social with friends a lot and having the energy to go for long walks and so on. It's pretty hard to come to terms with, but it's something I know I have to do.
i have schizophrenia. i was diagnosed 12 years ago, and in my head i want my old life back i had a great job yes it was very stressful and might have been one of the triggers for my condition but i was great at my job, i was living on my own had more friends and went out a lot, now i cant work im disabled because i cant work because my condition wont let me handle the stress of a job, on top of the schizophrenia im also suffer from GAD witch is a anxiety disorder, i have a sleeping disorder, and im also an adult diagnosed autistic person, i think about my old life all the time i had just got notification i had a promotion coming and i was going to be working in corporate job, i worked as an shift manager at a big fast food chain, and won awards for my customer service, the job was so stressful at times, and i was working 60 hour weeks some weeks, and then i started hearing voices and was losing time, then one day i remember going to bed and the next thing i know its two days later and i woke up in a mental hospital, i had no idea what i had done, nothing bad just walking around town, in cold temps with only a thin coat on i was not hurt had no idea who i was when the cops found me, this was 12 years ago today that this happened and since that happened i was in the hospital 10 times, its been 8 years since ive been there, my meds do help but old life seems so long gone that it makes me sad, i was losing a lot of wait then because i just wasent eating much and i walked every where didnt have a car and now all these years later i have a weight problem i just want my old life back but i need to put that in the past i live with my mom and my family and friends know and help me
I am a follower here but have bipolar and anxiety I have a masters degree and people think I should be a manager or director in HR, I know that if I did that I would fail... so I work as a recruiter and sometimes it bores me but I can't run the world even though I graduated with honors
You're an awesome communicator, and an inspiration to so many. However, only you can determine what you make a priority, and other adults who expect you to be their supply and if they do then that's a red flag. Someone who is insecure uses name calling to devalue your hopes and desires. Never settle because you have so much to offer. Just take your time and use it wisely to transform your goals into your dreams: either script with periodic newsletters, fiction, non-fiction, etc. Be strong and brave because you've come a long way to carry other people's baggage.
Its hard to imagine that you cant run like you use to. After burnout all I wanted to do is get back to who I was before and just be "normal" again... but I am normal... just a bit different now and it takes time to see, undertand and accept. But its such a game changer... I no longer let an expectation run me... I now have to listen to my body. Figuring out the spoons is a bit tricky at times but its getting easier. Thank you for such a brave and encouraging video about love, understanding, support and acceptance. You are doing a great job! Even when it doesnt feel like it. ❤
This really hit home for me. I don’t suffer from schizophrenia but my own struggles with severe mental illness has forced me to recheck my reality. I had to realise that it wasn’t sustainable to keep myself in this hyperproductive schedule I had idealized since childhood - not without majorly sacrificing my mental stability and safety anyway. It was really, really hard for me to accept my own limits and work within my own means. I didn’t want to acknowledge that I wasn’t unstoppable or that I was simply human and couldn’t just run myself like a machine. I hated myself for it. Then I thought, if I wouldn’t expect anyone else to run themselves like that and be ok (especially with the chaos and exhaustion of chronic mental illness) - why should I be so harsh on myself for just being human and limited? I have to tell myself - I can’t pull all-nighters anymore because it’ll almost certainly send my mood into a tailspin. I do this despite knowing full well all my college-aged peers are, and telling me all about it all the time. I can’t drink like a fish like my friends at parties or do back-to-back concerts running from dawn to midnight for months on end either. But I have to understand that things are different for me - I have a much more precarious balance of things to manage with my own mind. Even knowing that, it’s hard. I know I can still achieve the things I had set out to do, but my illness has forced me to be more patient and kinder to myself. We are our own worst critics. I hope you find something that works for you.
Incredibly grateful you've shared this. I can relate to this so much, on a daily basis. I am experiencing autistic burnout unlike I ever have before. I'm also dealing with complex grief & trauma. I think a lot about myself & how I'm going to manage or do some things, whatever they may be, miniscule or all encompassing, in a dichotomy of "before" & "now". I'm not even sure how I had the capacity to do things my entire life when I reflect on where I'm at now, my extremely limited amount of spoons in total, much less daily spoons. The Spoon Analogy is something I learned maybe a year or so ago, and it's been the most helpful thing for me in terms of understanding and trying to pace myself, or just to not be so hard on myself. I always overestimate my spoons, it seems. Anyway, I haven't heard anyone say what you just have, and it was something I definitely needed to hear. Thank you!
I have a limited capacity too. I have a feeling that some of it is actually from ADHD. Either way, I come home from work each day exhausted. Currently I am working on my ADHD, and I hope to have a greater capacity once I calm myself down and internalise less. Thanks for bringing this to light. Spoonies United! ❤
Hey there. I live with anxiety/ depression and am post menopausal. I ALSO have this struggle with capacity. In my head I'm still 18, energy wise 🤣. Love your channel.
Hi Lauren, This was a very important topic that you explored today. I can't tell you how much I go through thinking I want to do this thing and in the middle of it realized I don't have the capacity to do this thing, and I'll have like a meltdown because I bit off more than I could chew. And for me it is hard in one way to realize I can't do what I used to do hardly at all,that is a point of pain for me. However I also feel the opposite of that when I know I don't have the capacity and some other person validates that and says you know don't push yourself live within your capacity right now and don't do more I feel like I got permission to be okay with only being able to do less than what I might want to do. So I look at what Rob said to you as a very loving thing because I heard it as you need to know your capacity better so you don't put more on your plate then you're going to be able to achieve. So it's loving the way I see it because it's acknowledging the actual reality that sometimes you're not able to take that big a bite and if you know it then you won't be making promises you can't keep or doing things and then it falls apart. I think you know what I mean. this was one of the best topics I've ever heard you bring up. I am bed bound with chronic illness severe pain and mental illness so it's like my whole world is about capacity and allowing it to be okay that this is all I can do and that's all right. But let me add it isn't always all right there's greiving there's being upset that I can't do the simplest thing anymore. I really love the way you explored this Lauren. Thank you so very much.
I’m rooting for you. I don’t even have schizophrenia but I’m not doing as well as you are. I know it’s not a contest, but I actually admire you. I know your life is a struggle, but you seem to be able to deal with them better than I can deal with my own demons, which don’t seem as challenging as yours.
Oh my god, this is my problem. I was diagnosed with bipolar II and I constantly struggle with capacity issues. Sending hugs from a regular viewer from Edmonton.
I went back to school last fall after a decade+ break. I have had to work very hard at not working too hard. I developed a system that seems to work for me. I do my homework in short time spans and then do some kind of brain break. If I have a lot of homework to get done in one day, I will work on it one section at a time and then do something different in between. This could be talking to my dad or getting lunch or watching TH-cam for a bit. Like you said, it's all about readjusting to your new limits.
I do exactly the same thing...over extend myself thinking of before and how I was always able to pull off incredible feats of human existence. It used to be that if anyone needed something done...well, call Cathy, she'll get it done twice as well in half the time. It has been so difficult to find someone I can trust to tell me that I'm over extending myself and trust and actually believe they have my best interest at heart. It is a totally humiliating thing to be told you are doing too much and not giving yourself enough time or not devoting enough time to do what you want to do. I don't have a partner like you do...who I can trust to tell me anything and not be humiliated, embarrassed and able to believe that I trust them 100%. I have been saying that I am mourning the old me for at least 6 months. It's not something easy to get a grasp of.
I can really relate. My parents and boyfriend try to slow me down when I want to do lots of things are the same time. There are so many things I wanne do, but I have to remember that I do have an ilness and it's okay to put yourself first sometimes
Any person can only do what they are capable of doing. Everyone has limitations. Rumination never really helps. Concentrate on doing what you can, taking care of yourself and your family, and stop trying to understand everything. Doctors don't understand schizophrenia well, but they have tools to help you cope. And being alone with this? I have been basically alone since my diagnosis in 1996. Society has programmed people to be scared of those whose minds operate differently. There's something the psychedelic explorers of the 1960s used to say, it was probably Timothy Leary: "Find the others."
Lauren, the same thing happened me, but my situation was physical illness. I would plan things and take on projects. Then I’d become overwhelmed and would need help and support to take care of it. I didn’t even realize that my capacity had become reduced once I got ill. Yes, girl! The spoon theory!
Hi Lauren i am using the word pacing myself. Im a Sprinter who maybe able to be part of a relay but i use expect so much more. I agree there is a grieve process .I have been able to reach goals but now 1 or 2 Courses still get us there .Peace Chris
I don't know about how it is in Canada but, "capacity" aka "mental capacity" is a legal term in the United States which most often is used in the context of a person issuing a plea based on insanity (another legal term) e.g., "not guilty by reason of insanity." A judge or jury would factor "mental capacity" into their decision. I've never heard it in the context of whether someone has the resources to complete a goal/task.
Oh, this is hard. Not being able to do things other people can do with seeming ease, things I SHOULD be able to do but can't. Not being able to do things anymore because I burned through whatever resource I had in me to bulldoze through them and now there's nothing left. It's hard.
i really give you a lot of credit to be so vulnerable and i sense the way that empowers you. i relate to the sense of grief. its very hard for me to accept this loss of capacity. I have a deep feeling of loss. and i deny people who are trying to tell me i just cant do it the way i used to.. Im very distraught by the loss of having an identity thats gone forever and ive become an observer rather than a participant, it hurts me that there are things i cant do but the things i can do just dont seem to have meaning. i find mindfulness meditation to be helpful to help me cope im fortunate to be have public benefits, health insurance, food, some money to spend and housing. I've heard it said that theres an awe of schizophrenia, the perfect storm.
do you know what I relate 100% and until your video had no idea it was to do with being poorly, I feel like your videos really give me insite into my own mind
I personally feel that I'm not capable for as much stuff than healthy people. I have paranoid schizophrenia. I respond to meds very well. Most people would say I have no mental illness. I forgot what I wanted to write now. Anyway I picture myself 70 years old when my parents are dead and my doctor and maybe even some of my friends. How can I function then? So I made a plan to practice taking care of most basic things, like cleaning my room, making sure my rent is paid and grocery shopping. If I can do these things I can be independent till I'm very old. Knowing that gives me confidence and peace. I can be a little old lady doing my old lady things :)
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Hey. I've been watching your videos for a while and I appreciate your honesty about such subjects. I also have a chronic mental illness and right now I'm struggling with the fact that I had to drop out of college and eventually will have to start it all over again. I grieve not being able to have the same graduation time as my friends. Stay strong.
That is a difficult situation. ☹️I hope the bigger picture will reveal the perfect plan and time line for you to accomplish your goals.
I can imagine how hard that must be for you. I was struggling during my university studies but I kept pushing past a few years after nursing.
Thing is... now I realized if I would have taken the time then... I might not have gotten so bad later. All my friends moved on... and the ones left... I have grown apart from because Im always tired aside work. People, friends, aquintences... all come and go. Yes, you keep some nice memories... but at what expense? My point is. From someone who has been there, you are doing the right. thing by you. You might miss graduating with your class, but youll have something much better. I promise.
I experienced this a few years ago. It was a hard time for me. You are not alone.
You have the hope of returning to college at some point. For some with chronic mental illness, that hope has been lost and will never return. Not to minimize your grief, which is awful, but to encourage you that you still have a lot to look forward to.
I've been grieving this at the moment, with chronic mental illness and chronic physical illness and disability, I used to be so different, I'm not the parent I wanted to be, I'm in bed 3/4 of everyday, so I can only do 1 thing a day and sometimes then bedbound for a week after, I always mask and try to push though, and then make myself so much worse.
This video has me bawling, thank you, I feel seen.
I have other mental illnesses but I really relate to this. I'm quite a bit older than you and struggle to accept that I didn't do all I thought I should be able to do in life.
Go back to school! I have schizophrenia and earned a PhD in mathematics. Anything is possible...
I want to let you know how wonderful I think you are and even though I don’t consider myself one that has a mental illness I struggle with old age I am 77. After listening to this message I feel the same way and beat myself up for not doing what I could do physically and mentally 3 or 4 years ago. I am not a professional but you are helping so many people with your sharing of your journey I believe you can and will be able to do anything you desire in your own way and timing. God bless you
@Jacqueline Boone your words are pearls of wisdom. You are such an inspiration !
I also think that this applies to me, in my case it simply due to age as I also I don’t consider myself one that has a mental illness. We need you listen to friends and family sometimes.
Part of getting old (like me at 80) is embracing death! I'm looking forward to what's beyond this ridiculous existence😊
My thoughts exactly!! I am in my late 50's and going through the tail end of the menopausal change! My mental capacity has changed and I can fully identify with your comment. Letting go of the things we were so capable of doing what feels like not so long ago is hard! And allowing others to take those things over for us feels so strange. But we do have to realise our changing capacity - and acknowledge the need for others to take care of some of those things that are now too much for us! May God give you the guidance to negotiate this new season of your life!
Omg yes it is such a head game! What a self esteem rollar coaster. It feels bad to say you can't do something, but it feels worse to try and fail due to something out of your control.
I think of capacity like Maslow's hierarchy of needs for the body. When the body is ill - in any way - substantial resources are being used for the fundamentals. A very ill person may only have enough capacity for survival (eating, sleeping, etc.). At a better state, you can attend to your shelter (like getting up and doing dishes). Better still might be socializing and attending to exercise and such. It takes a very well person (no matter what diagnoses or not) to attend to actualization needs. Whatever you can attend to is what you should be doing. There are no right things to be doing - you MUST attend to those needs in order.
You seem to have achieved way more than most people who aren't struggling with a chronic illness, it's pretty awesome :O
@Jack Ryan How do you know this?!
@@lundsweden How do you know her Secret information? 👆
@@BigBrain-sx4pm I don't, and either does Jack Ryan.
It’s amazing, how you can diagnose her from a TH-cam video.
At least she is able to know what she is needing to do or what she can or can't do, there are those who can't, the illness won't allow them to see it
Same for me, but severe PTSD/trauma. Its understandable that at 24 I can't do things my other less traumatized peers can. They didn't have the challenges I had. My family is fully to blame for having done so many wrong things to me that I am left in this state. And that's not my fault
Still, life can feel exhausting when you feel like its one problem after the other
Lauren: (1) You're a gift to humanity through your work on this channel. Don't ever forget or underestimate your value to so many others of your work. (2) Capacity is a good word. In financial matters, it's easier for us to estimate what our financial capacity is which makes it less difficult to rationally allocate those scarce financial resources to their best personal uses. In addition, the costs are usually much clearer in many financial matters. Even so, we often over commit beyond our financial capacity! Measuring our physical and emotional capacity is much more difficult. As a result, it's very easy to overcommit ourselves to ourselves or others. I think most of us do so even those without any significant physical or mental restrictions. In a perfect world, we wouldn't beat ourselves up when we overcommit either financially or otherwise. Rather, it would be more beneficial to rationally make judgements whether our commitments fit our resources. Like life in general, it's not always an easy thing to do! We live and try to learn!
I was on the same track. Capacity is a touchy term, probably better applied to BATTERYS!
Stay strong sister...
I also have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. And I appreciate your work and the awareness you bring to the subject. What you stated is true I also wrestle with the same things that you are speaking on. I just wanted to add that what you are explaining is not exclusive to people with mental illness but for many. Just thought I would let you know. Because although we do have a illness of the mind we do not have to let it cripple us or short change our ambitions.
Never cripple or hinder, but we must also be realistic of certain limitations and be mindful of what we value.
When I think big ang get exited, I feel like I can do more than I can. I think that I should at least try... but when this happens over and over again and it back fires leaving me drained, sometimes agrevating my mental illness even more (depression, burnout, adhd)... It takes a huge tole on my my health, my confidence, my family and my recovery takes longer and longer each time.
So, we dont have to "limit outselves" but awareness and acceptance is crucial.
Very well said and thought out @Hybrid Nation Speaks. Couldn't have said it better myself. I think it's one of the best comments I've read so far.
This is difficult, especially with perfectionists, before and after diagnosis, pre med and post med, and the waxing and waning of symptoms and confidence changes. You are doing really well. Rob loves you and wants to protect you. So difficult for both of you yet worth it. ❤
You communicate so well Lauren🤗
You have such a kind heart to share your insights or struggles and your accomplishments! I love watching your videos to learn more about mental illness. Thank you so much for sharing!
I have paranoid Schizophenia and I am the half of the girl that I used to be I would like to do more things...I understand you
Love this. For me I got a big kick when I learned to live within my capacity. I kind of ran out of steam but I'm back to manifesting my dreams. Keep up the advocacy and vunerability.
Really relate to this too right now! My husband tells me to slow down and he’s right. So, I am going to have a ‘no’ November where I say no to things ahead of December when it gets busy again 💚
I said 'no' to DEcember-period. NOt something everyone can do but literally NO ONE understands not to overload me. After being such a Christmas failure, I refuse now.
Thats a fantastic plan! I think Ill borrow that from you! So simple yet... Brilliant!
You can achieve anything you want, all that changes is how long it takes and how hard you will work, even with a mental illness.
If you loose both your arms you can still become a painter, you'll just need to spend a lot of work learning how to either use your mouth or feet or some assistance technology like a robot arm. You can still paint, but it will take more time and effort than when you still had both arms. It's the same with mental illness
I definitely still feel the same way about my schizoaffective disorder! It’s a matter of scaling back your definition of success and how you pace yourself! One shouldn’t compare oneselves to others who may not have mental health difficulties! Sometimes we need to take into account, though it’s difficult, where one is and take stock of where one, who needs to operate within a new set of boundaries! These boundaries aren’t to stifle but to rather create a greater sense of care for your mental and emotional health while still functioning in society!
Overcompensating 😉 as a coping skill.
It is about finding your own rhythm.
Much love to you and what you do.
These videos are so helpful for me. I also struggle with schizoeffective disorder with major depression. I’m constantly overwhelmed at work and I don’t handle my stress well because it interferes with my symptoms. I don’t have the same capacity as I used to either. So I can completely relate to you 100%.
Capacity is the perfect word. It’s the truthful word. I have lupus, and I constantly struggle with the grief of having developed a limited capacity. Sometimes, for me, it’s the hardest part of having a chronic illness. Sending huge solidarity, and gratitude for this really helpful video.💜
Thank you very much for addressing this aspect of mental illness. My loved one who suffers from this affliction had dreams and goals, but she has been derailed and is struggling to get back on track. Accepting her limitations has been heart breaking for all of us. As we took a long time to accept the devastating toll it can take on everything it touches. You are doing well .
We all have fallen short. So don't despair instead be grateful for what you are accomplishing. You give us all hope.
Lauren, I value your insights very much. To do what you are doing takes a great deal of capacity. I hope you and Rob are able to resolve the conflicts arising out of frustration, fear, and-maybe-miscommunication. ❤
Lauren, I don’t think you are alone in this in that it can be a shared tendency with all people. My sister and I found this with our father as he got older. He died at 96 but was active for most of those years. When he began to find limitations on his abilities he wasn’t really accepting. My sister and I discussed with him that we have seasons of life and our abilities change. I hope I can accept my changing seasons gracefully. I’ll still be sad I’m sure but I’ll try to find other things I can do.
You do a great thing here…keep putting one foot in front of the other. ❤
This is such a great message for everyone. I needed to hear this today.
I love what you said at the end, of how it's not a deficit, it's just a difference. This has been a huge part of my healing and living with grief as well, because I think about ways I understand the world that I could never have dreamed of if I had never gotten sick and disabled. And beyond even just my own new ways of knowing and being, I see how my need to slow down, do less, and just be, is also something that inspires and nourishes other people to do the same---even if they are not chronically ill or neurodivergent. I kind of think of it as a superpower now! xD Even with just my pace in movement, I walk slower. So I get to quite literally stop and smell the roses, and take whoever is with me on that journey too, y'know? : )
Totally get it. My brain broke a few years ago from my depression/nervous breakdown. Lost my edge, my focus, my being able to follow from start to finish. Learning to accept my limitations. Stat strong, sister
yeah, I think we have ingrained this idea that we can do whatever we set our mind to.
And it may be true in many cases, but that always has a cost (your time, your health, your family, etc.) and sometimes that cost is not worth it.
Thank you for sharing ❤️ you're not alone. Speaking to the struggles of internalized ableism is important. The social model of disability comes to mind, it speaks to the often limited access and accomidations available in our environments...including the expectations of people around us and our own conditioned expectations of "functioning" as a person.
Lauren, you are doing amazing. Never forget that.
You have recognition of the lifestyle you want- my kid does not seem to have aspirations to do his best- knowing he has limitations but he invites lowest capacity! Congrats on aiming high as you want to go!
Thanks!
I wish I was as put together as you are.
You have a lot more focus than I could ever dream of
It is prudent to recognise your own limitations. A constantly racing mind takes its toll. Like a bee hovering from flower to flower, but never do a flower through. It is alright Lauren. Please dont be too demanding on yourself. Perhaps you should take on less , but accomplish completion. Often ,it is not the goal completion that matters, rather the way/journey to it. You educate,grow, change, struggle , reorient yourself on the path to a goal completion, somtimes altering the goal as you strive to it.
Even if you never get there, you benefit all so much, on the way there.
It is alright Lauren.
About a year ago I found out I have DID and the year before that I was struggling with my energy and capacity, not knowing what was wrong. I used to own my own salon and was a hairstylist for 40 years. It was like the old me had died and that was hard. I have learned that no matter what happens in my life nothing stays the same. I personally found Jesus during this time and that stabilized me but for sure it is a grieving time. Thank you for this video it made me look at myself, (once again) but now I can see I have grown.
God Bless you sister. I became a Christian 4 years ago which has helped get my head around a lot of things and helps me with my mental illness too. I am so pleased you have Jesus for when we are weak He is strong 🙏💚
@@suzannealsop3394 absolutely, God bless you Suzanne🙏❤️
For a long time my husband and I have talked about our “concentration points”. It’s like we have a maximum amount of these points per day or month and things use up our points. It could be a task and the time/energy it will take (e.g., I like laundry so it doesn’t take many points but worrying about phoning someone will take up a lot for me). It’s not a literal tally just a concept we use to discuss how we are feeling about something and when our concentration points are getting maxed out.
Also remember that you are a parent and also at your most generative stage of life and there just isn’t enough time to do everything. There will be a time coming up when you will have more than 20 minutes to yourself. Truly!!
Follow your passions and what makes you hsppy!
I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia this year at the age of 21. This idea of capacity was something I had to very quickly come to terms with, and something I'm still learning to navigate. It's such an important concept that it's okay for your life to not look like it did 6 months ago, that it's okay to have a new normal. Thanks for sharing your experiences with this.
Sometimes its about letting go of the romanticism we have about life, and understanding that our capacities are actually limited according to the difficulties we are facing. Understanding that, it is possible to overcome it.
I know exactly what your talking about, before my schizophrenia diagnosis I was able to complete several tasks in one day . Now it`s like if I do laundry I`m DONE for the rest of the day and people don`t understand why you are tired and your energy is drained. The depression you feel makes you not want to do anything or be around people sometimes plus depending on how you cope with the voices you hear, it can make things difficult.
Thank YOU 4 sharing, Lauren.
I think this is pretty normal as you age. It’s hard for anyone to admit to themselves that you can’t do what you did in the past. If you have children and a husband/partner, they come first .
It's all will, thank you lady.
Thank you... hopefully people discover it's about " being" rather than " doing." Be kind, be love, be good, be inspiring, etc ..be what and who you are the best possible each day...not do this or that...doing is not as important or influential as being...just calibrating at a higher consciousness effects others more than doing
Rob is probably so so weary. Taking care of himself and also his loved ones. Much love to your family ❤
It is very hard supporting someone you love 24/7. Being a carer or support person can take it's toll if you don't look after your own health and make time for yourself.
The struggle is universal. At 70 I can do anything I want, but if I do I’ll be in bed three days too sore to move. Even we “normal” people have to sort this out and deal with it as best we can. I can’t run a mini marathon. I now take pleasure walking my puppy in the park.
Just over a year ago, I was diagnosed with DID (dissociative identity disorder). Everything you say about capacity also applies to me with this disorder. And you are right when you say that there is a grieving process, because it feels to me as if I lost what I used to be able to do. I can still function, post diagnosis, but there is so much more to manage, now my system is all spilled out, so to speak.
A friend of mine who is injured in a car accident many years ago said to me, “Before the accident, I could rollerskate. After the accident, I could not rollerskate. This is for you like the accident was for me.” She was right, and it helped to hear it.
I think the thing with a mental health diagnosis is that I look just like I always did! On the outside, there are no obvious visible signs of anything going on inside my head, even though there’s plenty going on inside my head, let me tell you! People just don’t understand that everything about your life has changed, almost overnight, at least it was for me. There really is a significant change in capacity. Thank you for teaching us. My 20 year old niece was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia, which is why I’m here. But so much of what you say also applies to me. Thank you.
I stumbled on your videos today and they are very helpful in what I'm going through. I have the same diagnosis.
Thanks for this! I like to use the term “availability when I’m talking about what I can manage, ie what I’m available for.
Thank you for sharing this.
I am experiencing this with another mental illness and this video has helped. Thank you.
I have schizophrenia , and after my last hospitalization I had to accept the fact that I can’t work a normal job , and accept that it is ok that I only work a really light part time job
I’m so glad that I’m not alone! I definitely see where I was before I was pre-symptoms and now is completely different.
You are amazing. Thank you for being you, and for sharing yourself so openly. You can't even imagine the extent to which you are positively impacting lives and the world as a whole. Thank you for choosing to be here. I have had my own struggles, and I know that sometimes, it's not an easy choice. But understand that you are so needed here. Learning to check in with yourself and see and lovingly accept a new normal is a huge life lesson we all learn at some point. I lost some capacity with life stress trauma. Some more, with a concussion. Even more with chemo treatments. And aging, alone, changes our capacity. At 55, my vision, stamina, cognitive function are not what they were. But I am who and what I am supposed to be in this moment. I have many experiences that allow me to empathize and connect with, and often reassure, others. I think that's a big part of our lives. As Ram Dass said, "We are all just walking each other home. " You are smoothing the path for so many. Deep thanks. ❤️
Wow, you are such a smart cookie these days Lauren. That enthusiasm to 'do it all' I'm sure comes from your upbringing .. a confidence to dive into life and live it to the full. Definitely a good thing to have. It's not just people with disabilities who discover their limits, we all must face those times when all our hopes and dreams seem to be beyond the reach of our innate talents. There is a grieving there to be done by all of us. But looking back over a life, I think it's better to crash and burn than never take flight at all.
So very true for me right now. I feel lazy, bewildered, angered, etc. because I'm not at my normal capacity to finish tasks.
I find that it’s a cycle of grief for me. I’ll make peace with it then get upset all over again. And as time goes on it changes too- what you have is not guaranteed. Anyways. Thanks for your valuable insights, I relate a lot.
I needed to hear this!! Thank you!!
It’s important to try and focus on what is within your limits. It’s difficult to accept sometimes that these limits can hold you back, but it’s just as important to be kind to yourself! It’s a matter of being mindful and alert and recognize when these feelings arise!
My capacity to do anything has completely disintegrated lately. I can barely make food or keep the house clean, let alone pursue my many interests and goals. As a result my self esteem has plummeted. I know this will pass and I will be able to do the things I want to do eventually, with work, but this change in my capacity has been so painful. It was nice to watch this video and allow it to serve as a reminder that it's ok to give myself grace and to just accept what is instead of beating myself up for all my shortcomings. Eventually I will get to a place where I can achieve the many things I aspire to do. Maybe then I'll come back to this video and remember this time when I could barely survive and I'll be grateful that I have the problem of balancing it all instead of not being able to do any of it.
Thank you
I echo the hundreds of compliments you've already received. You're an extraordinary woman and we all love you just as you are Loren ❤
thank you for your really insightful discussion of this, Lauren! i live with major depressive disorder and the intensity of my symptoms fluctuates with time. the last couple weeks have been a bad period, and I am having to contend with my reduced capacity in this state. it's like my number of spoons, which is usually just enough to handle my day to day, has been halved or quartered, and there is an emotional difficulty to coming to terms with this. hoping to find modifications to my healthcare and goals to make things work.
I still remember the times when I loved being social with friends a lot and having the energy to go for long walks and so on. It's pretty hard to come to terms with, but it's something I know I have to do.
Dealing with this as well as I juggle RA and social anxiety. There's only so many spoons before I need to recharge myself.
i have schizophrenia. i was diagnosed 12 years ago, and in my head i want my old life back i had a great job yes it was very stressful and might have been one of the triggers for my condition but i was great at my job, i was living on my own had more friends and went out a lot, now i cant work im disabled because i cant work because my condition wont let me handle the stress of a job, on top of the schizophrenia im also suffer from GAD witch is a anxiety disorder, i have a sleeping disorder, and im also an adult diagnosed autistic person, i think about my old life all the time i had just got notification i had a promotion coming and i was going to be working in corporate job, i worked as an shift manager at a big fast food chain, and won awards for my customer service, the job was so stressful at times, and i was working 60 hour weeks some weeks, and then i started hearing voices and was losing time, then one day i remember going to bed and the next thing i know its two days later and i woke up in a mental hospital, i had no idea what i had done, nothing bad just walking around town, in cold temps with only a thin coat on i was not hurt had no idea who i was when the cops found me, this was 12 years ago today that this happened and since that happened i was in the hospital 10 times, its been 8 years since ive been there, my meds do help but old life seems so long gone that it makes me sad, i was losing a lot of wait then because i just wasent eating much and i walked every where didnt have a car and now all these years later i have a weight problem i just want my old life back but i need to put that in the past i live with my mom and my family and friends know and help me
I am a follower here but have bipolar and anxiety I have a masters degree and people think I should be a manager or director in HR, I know that if I did that I would fail... so I work as a recruiter and sometimes it bores me but I can't run the world even though I graduated with honors
You're an awesome communicator, and an inspiration to so many. However, only you can determine what you make a priority, and other adults who expect you to be their supply and if they do then that's a red flag. Someone who is insecure uses name calling to devalue your hopes and desires. Never settle because you have so much to offer. Just take your time and use it wisely to transform your goals into your dreams: either script with periodic newsletters, fiction, non-fiction, etc. Be strong and brave because you've come a long way to carry other people's baggage.
This is a really tough topic. For me there's a lot of guilt attached to it if I can't finish the project. Keep believing, dear. Thanks for the video.
Its hard to imagine that you cant run like you use to. After burnout all I wanted to do is get back to who I was before and just be "normal" again... but I am normal... just a bit different now and it takes time to see, undertand and accept. But its such a game changer... I no longer let an expectation run me... I now have to listen to my body. Figuring out the spoons is a bit tricky at times but its getting easier.
Thank you for such a brave and encouraging video about love, understanding, support and acceptance.
You are doing a great job! Even when it doesnt feel like it. ❤
This really hit home for me. I don’t suffer from schizophrenia but my own struggles with severe mental illness has forced me to recheck my reality. I had to realise that it wasn’t sustainable to keep myself in this hyperproductive schedule I had idealized since childhood - not without majorly sacrificing my mental stability and safety anyway.
It was really, really hard for me to accept my own limits and work within my own means. I didn’t want to acknowledge that I wasn’t unstoppable or that I was simply human and couldn’t just run myself like a machine. I hated myself for it.
Then I thought, if I wouldn’t expect anyone else to run themselves like that and be ok (especially with the chaos and exhaustion of chronic mental illness) - why should I be so harsh on myself for just being human and limited?
I have to tell myself - I can’t pull all-nighters anymore because it’ll almost certainly send my mood into a tailspin. I do this despite knowing full well all my college-aged peers are, and telling me all about it all the time. I can’t drink like a fish like my friends at parties or do back-to-back concerts running from dawn to midnight for months on end either. But I have to understand that things are different for me - I have a much more precarious balance of things to manage with my own mind.
Even knowing that, it’s hard.
I know I can still achieve the things I had set out to do, but my illness has forced me to be more patient and kinder to myself. We are our own worst critics.
I hope you find something that works for you.
Incredibly grateful you've shared this. I can relate to this so much, on a daily basis. I am experiencing autistic burnout unlike I ever have before. I'm also dealing with complex grief & trauma. I think a lot about myself & how I'm going to manage or do some things, whatever they may be, miniscule or all encompassing, in a dichotomy of "before" & "now". I'm not even sure how I had the capacity to do things my entire life when I reflect on where I'm at now, my extremely limited amount of spoons in total, much less daily spoons. The Spoon Analogy is something I learned maybe a year or so ago, and it's been the most helpful thing for me in terms of understanding and trying to pace myself, or just to not be so hard on myself. I always overestimate my spoons, it seems. Anyway, I haven't heard anyone say what you just have, and it was something I definitely needed to hear. Thank you!
I have a limited capacity too. I have a feeling that some of it is actually from ADHD. Either way, I come home from work each day exhausted. Currently I am working on my ADHD, and I hope to have a greater capacity once I calm myself down and internalise less. Thanks for bringing this to light.
Spoonies United! ❤
I managed to cope with many aspects of having depression, except this one.
Hey there. I live with anxiety/ depression and am post menopausal. I ALSO have this struggle with capacity. In my head I'm still 18, energy wise 🤣. Love your channel.
Hi Lauren,
This was a very important topic that you explored today. I can't tell you how much I go through thinking I want to do this thing and in the middle of it realized I don't have the capacity to do this thing, and I'll have like a meltdown because I bit off more than I could chew. And for me it is hard in one way to realize I can't do what I used to do hardly at all,that is a point of pain for me. However I also feel the opposite of that when I know I don't have the capacity and some other person validates that and says you know don't push yourself live within your capacity right now and don't do more I feel like I got permission to be okay with only being able to do less than what I might want to do. So I look at what Rob said to you as a very loving thing because I heard it as you need to know your capacity better so you don't put more on your plate then you're going to be able to achieve. So it's loving the way I see it because it's acknowledging the actual reality that sometimes you're not able to take that big a bite and if you know it then you won't be making promises you can't keep or doing things and then it falls apart. I think you know what I mean. this was one of the best topics I've ever heard you bring up. I am bed bound with chronic illness severe pain and mental illness so it's like my whole world is about capacity and allowing it to be okay that this is all I can do and that's all right. But let me add it isn't always all right there's greiving there's being upset that I can't do the simplest thing anymore. I really love the way you explored this Lauren. Thank you so very much.
Absolutly! ❤
I’m rooting for you. I don’t even have schizophrenia but I’m not doing as well as you are. I know it’s not a contest, but I actually admire you. I know your life is a struggle, but you seem to be able to deal with them better than I can deal with my own demons, which don’t seem as challenging as yours.
I love this video topic. Thank you!!!
thanks for sharing this
Oh my god, this is my problem. I was diagnosed with bipolar II and I constantly struggle with capacity issues. Sending hugs from a regular viewer from Edmonton.
I’m learning about this too right now!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Well explained.
I went back to school last fall after a decade+ break. I have had to work very hard at not working too hard. I developed a system that seems to work for me. I do my homework in short time spans and then do some kind of brain break. If I have a lot of homework to get done in one day, I will work on it one section at a time and then do something different in between. This could be talking to my dad or getting lunch or watching TH-cam for a bit. Like you said, it's all about readjusting to your new limits.
I do exactly the same thing...over extend myself thinking of before and how I was always able to pull off incredible feats of human existence. It used to be that if anyone needed something done...well, call Cathy, she'll get it done twice as well in half the time. It has been so difficult to find someone I can trust to tell me that I'm over extending myself and trust and actually believe they have my best interest at heart. It is a totally humiliating thing to be told you are doing too much and not giving yourself enough time or not devoting enough time to do what you want to do. I don't have a partner like you do...who I can trust to tell me anything and not be humiliated, embarrassed and able to believe that I trust them 100%. I have been saying that I am mourning the old me for at least 6 months. It's not something easy to get a grasp of.
I can really relate. My parents and boyfriend try to slow me down when I want to do lots of things are the same time. There are so many things I wanne do, but I have to remember that I do have an ilness and it's okay to put yourself first sometimes
Good to hear from another person w the illness/limits
Any person can only do what they are capable of doing. Everyone has limitations. Rumination never really helps. Concentrate on doing what you can, taking care of yourself and your family, and stop trying to understand everything. Doctors don't understand schizophrenia well, but they have tools to help you cope. And being alone with this? I have been basically alone since my diagnosis in 1996. Society has programmed people to be scared of those whose minds operate differently. There's something the psychedelic explorers of the 1960s used to say, it was probably Timothy Leary: "Find the others."
Lauren, the same thing happened me, but my situation was physical illness. I would plan things and take on projects. Then I’d become overwhelmed and would need help and support to take care of it. I didn’t even realize that my capacity had become reduced once I got ill. Yes, girl! The spoon theory!
I can relate.
I felt every word
Love your videos
Hi Lauren i am using the word pacing myself. Im a Sprinter who maybe able to be part of a relay but i use expect so much more. I agree there is a grieve process .I have been able to reach goals but now 1 or 2 Courses still get us there .Peace Chris
I don't know about how it is in Canada but, "capacity" aka "mental capacity" is a legal term in the United States which most often is used in the context of a person issuing a plea based on insanity (another legal term) e.g., "not guilty by reason of insanity." A judge or jury would factor "mental capacity" into their decision. I've never heard it in the context of whether someone has the resources to complete a goal/task.
Oh, this is hard. Not being able to do things other people can do with seeming ease, things I SHOULD be able to do but can't. Not being able to do things anymore because I burned through whatever resource I had in me to bulldoze through them and now there's nothing left. It's hard.
I’ve had the same struggles trying to maintain my life with bipolar. I’m leary of trying to take on new things to avoid this problem
i really give you a lot of credit to be so vulnerable and i sense the way that empowers you. i relate to the sense of grief. its very hard for me to accept this loss of capacity. I have a deep feeling of loss. and i deny people who are trying to tell me i just cant do it the way i used to.. Im very distraught by the loss of having an identity thats gone forever and ive become an observer rather than a participant, it hurts me that there are things i cant do but the things i can do just dont seem to have meaning. i find mindfulness meditation to be helpful to help me cope im fortunate to be have public benefits, health insurance, food, some money to spend and housing. I've heard it said that theres an awe of schizophrenia, the perfect storm.
do you know what I relate 100% and until your video had no idea it was to do with being poorly, I feel like your videos really give me insite into my own mind
I understand how that is. I have schizophrenia myself.
I personally feel that I'm not capable for as much stuff than healthy people. I have paranoid schizophrenia. I respond to meds very well. Most people would say I have no mental illness. I forgot what I wanted to write now. Anyway I picture myself 70 years old when my parents are dead and my doctor and maybe even some of my friends. How can I function then? So I made a plan to practice taking care of most basic things, like cleaning my room, making sure my rent is paid and grocery shopping. If I can do these things I can be independent till I'm very old. Knowing that gives me confidence and peace. I can be a little old lady doing my old lady things :)