This doom mod hit close to home for me. My grandpa had dementia before he passed away last year and he was a great and funny guy. This mod encompasses that illness and demonstrates it in a manner we can all see and understand which got me extremely sad. I've been playing Doom since I was 5 years old (I'm 32 now) and my grandparents didn't approve of me playing violent games but I enlightened them by saying that I'm killing demons which is good and they would let me play. I'm also Catholic. God bless them
I can very much relate. My Grandpa came down with really severe alzheimers to the point where he had to live in a care home. After 4 years living in that care home he passed away. It greatly saddens me knowing what he went through in his final years, but I'm glad he can finally rest in peace. God bless.
I can relate, my grandma has dementia... last time I talked to her on the phone she didn't even recognize who she was talking to, she thought I was her old doctor who died a few years ago. saddest thing is, that we saw the early signs a few years ago and there was nothing we could do...
I can relate. My father has Parkinson’s dementia so I’ve been watching him lose both his mind and mobility over the last 5 years. I couldn’t make my way through this video because it hits too close to home and puts me in tears. If this was what the designer of the WAD was aiming for, they did an excellent job of it.
This WAD hit rather hard when i played it and realized at the last level what it was hinting at, i've watched two family members become nothing but shells due to dementia...
when my grandma got late stage dementia, this also happened to her. She also thought it was 20-30 years ago sometimes, yet never forgot who I was. Every time I would visit her, she would think she's leaving with me to go "home", which was heartbreaking she didnt even recognize her own house anymore.
My friends grandmother had Alzheimer’s and every day I was over she would think I was my friends brother and would forget about her husbands death. It was heartbreaking watching his mom have to explain her husband died and watch the old lady go through the shock again. I think I’d have just lied and said he was away on a trip
Nice, finally. Using Doom as a medium for this is simply genius. The horror of seeing something that many people love and are deeply familiar with being slowly distorted and erased.
I played the wad before watching the video and reached the conclusion that this wad was about dementia and its stages, and it seems like this was indeed about dementia.
It could also be both that and PTSD, which would explain why doomguy is recalling the original levels with minor differences at first, and also could be an explanation for the wall of marine corpses
@@BierBart12Probably because Doom is the most easily-accessible in terms of creating content, with all the powerful tools we have such as UDB and Slade.
True. Fnaf wasn't popular because of great jumpscares but the build up and tension. Gmod maps are eerie and haunted when empty. Even the background sound effects meant to add life only makes it more disturbing. Running around in some gmod maps and empty dark tunnels is scarier than entire indie games.
Dementia is the most terrifying thing you can experience. imagine your entire life jumping by you, completely out of your control, and you know that you're missing it all and there is nothing you can do. you're just in a constant cycle of getting a fix of where you are, who they are, what happened, when it is, how long you forgot, just to experience the same thing again at any moment. just one long reaccuring nightmare
Bouts of clarity. Something triggers a memory. It all comes back to you. You've got your fragmented self back, for a short while. You realize all that is being taken from you. Your love, your hopes, your dreams. You realize they are things they are as much a part of you as your own heart beat. But you had lost them and just got them back. But for how long? Doom settles in your soul, as you weep upon realization. You're going to lose them all over again. And maybe, this time you won't get them back. My grandmother had Alzheimers. From my mother, who worked at a hospital and hospice, and took care of her mother/my grandmother: "It is one of the cruelest ways someone can die." Honestly, I think I'd rather be shot while I was Lucid, than go into such a decline as to not even be a shadow, but a hollow shell of what I am.
“ Doom guy may be able to beat the ever living shit out of creatures from hell but he cannot fight against the slow degradation of his own mind” Doom guy *beats the slow degradation of his own mind*
@@pramusetyakanca1552now that I think of it, dementia and demon actually do have something in common. Now that I think of it again, democracy has even more in common with demon...
My father started showing signs in the mid-00's but I couldn't get him to agree to see a doctor until 2011 when he was 65. It was a rare genetic form of early onset dementia. His younger sister moved up the same month and helped me take care of him until he died in December 2015. But by then I realized she was showing signs too. I've been taking care of her ever since, mostly on my own. She is 72 now and doesn't remember my name. This isn't how I thought I would spend my 30s into my mid-40s but here I am. And don't ask about why I didn't put them in a home. It's the quickest way to kill them as they lose everything they are familiar with. And then there is the cost. Memory care starts at $5k/month and no, Medicare and medicaid do not pay for it. I have a good job but not enough for that on top of my expenses. The only good that came of covid was it made my job remote which makes her care easier. I don't know when this nightmare will end but I'm missing her while I have her. And then there is the creeping anxiety about myself, my grandmother also had it so I am left wondering....
man, i hope everything is ok, stay strong, life takes us down strange paths... i know is hard to take care of someone in that condition, but you're doing something that most people tend to avoid, and you're a great person for that, have a good one man, you're doing great
that's fucking rough. I don't know how it would be (other than nightmarish) to see your loved ones succumb to something that is not only debilitating, but slow and so cruel that time itself is stolen from them, i.e. their memories. I really feel for you and your aunt. mine also had dementia, which while I wasn't around for it, I know was incredibly hard on my cousins. the line "I'm missing her while I have her" pretty much says it all, I think. it's such a horrendously cruel fate, and I hope she doesn't suffer too long, for both of you (I don't mean for that to sound callous, but you know what I mean). stay strong, and here's hoping you're spared from it -- and anyone else you're close with. it's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. by the by, there's a very good song called 'Constance' by the metal band Spiritbox about the singer's and video director's grandmothers' battles with dementia: th-cam.com/video/mY_oDyqRM1A/w-d-xo.html . it's fairly heavy in both sound and substance, but I often find solace in that, so perhaps you will too.
Use curcuma in dishes or buy medicine with curcumin. Hindu people are less likely to get dementis and it's good in preventing it. I used a lot of Coenzyme Q and when distributing high doeses mygrandma was able to read by herself accord like she always was in the past. Cocnut oil also boosts regsining of cognitoon since it bypasses dementia's diabetes characteristics. I used l karnitin too but it was painful for the stomach when too much given. Ginko biloba is good for mood swings so they can be more calm and less sad. Hope this helps.
There's one more layer to this that I don't see people talking about. The later levels lack enemies, items, and/or secrets. You always get "100%" on those on the level-end screen, since there aren't any, and the final stage gives you a free 100% on all three. I think this may be a reference to how people in later stages of dementia, those in care centers, are given simple games to play where they always win, just to make them happy.
Part way through I was beginning to suspect either dementia or death would be the thing you can not escape but wow I didn’t expect how literal it was on the stages of dementia. Only thing I vaguely remember hearing about was the paradoxical lucidity part. When you were going through the stages and were asking why the end looked normal the reality sunk in hard. Great video, you’ve earned a sub from me! Also great to see another classic Resident Evil fan.
Imagine in a way. This is the epilogue ending to Doom. Doom, doom 2, plutonia, Doom 2016, Doom Eternal and anything after. Ending with him remembering the first mission he encountered hell right before he dies.
In the time skips (the rushed end of E1M2 and the sudden clipping from E1M4 to E1M5) he made a rampage without recollection. In the later parts, E1M6-E1M8 (note that everything from E1M5 ongoing is shifted one mapslot forward, so technically E1M5-E1M7) he most presumably rampaged without even being mentally there at the moment.
Or what if that every demons are dead already, and he's...alone in his death door, that's why when he remembered everything back before the final exit, there's no one there.
First the MyHouse wad, now this?! I am so into these rabbit-hole types of DOOM wads. It's just both incredible and insane how these wad creators work on some of these types of wads!
As a Doom wad, this was really, really well done, the attention to details was on point. It was such an unique and interesting way to show off the ability to communicate a message through Doom modding. High props to the author for that. As content in general... I dunno man, I'm lowkey getting tired of the dementia theme in indie media. When The Caretaker presented the world his "Everywhere at the End of Time" album, it was so cool how creatively he was able to portray the horrors of dementia, and how much awareness it brought to this horrible disease. 3 years later, and I personally think this subject is saturated already. Recently, whenever I notice any piece of media in which things start to get weird, it immediately makes me go "it's going to be about dementia, isn't it?" And it's jarring the amount of times I get that right. In the mid 2010's the trend was "it was an allegory for anxiety and depression all the time", to the point we could tell from a mile away when something was trying to show a message about those themes. Now it seems like the same is being done with dementia. It was cool for a while, and it's definitely something that needs even more awareness to be raised than it already has. But honestly, it got done so much that it's now very easy to predict when something is dementia related. I wish it wasn't, but it is.
It's super weird that there's so many things with similar effects in the beginning, yet *always* oops, dementia again! Heck even vertigo apparently has some of this. My grandad would get up to stage 4 here, then returned to normal by just doing a weird head rotation for 10 minutes. Would be a neat mechanic where you have very *long* Turok style levels and have to hope it doesn't hit while you're in combat, then you gotta spin around a bit to recover every so often to get rid of the blank spots and listing
this mod hits different when i have started to have memory issues at the age of 20 already., well, signs started to show a few years ago but its gotten depressing already.
Not-So-Fun Fact: issues with memory are a symptom of anxiety, stress, depression, burnout, or a combination thereof! In fact, a lot of signs of frazzled mental health are surpisingly similar to early symptoms of dementia! ...Don't ask me how I know this (': The good news is that it's NOT the start of a perpetual decline, and is immediately reversible if you can address those mental health issues or sources of stress in your life :) Take care of yourself ❤
Everywhere at the end of DOOM. There will be a point in time in which everyone will forget DOOM's existence and the impact that it has had on the FPS community. Edit: Looks like I offended the entire DOOM community. (Unintended trolling mission: accomplished)
I don't necessarily think that's true. Lots of cultural works are good enough to still be remembered centuries, sometimes even millennia later. Just to keep things gaming-related, people still play chess and Go. If there's still human civilization 500 years from now, they're going to remember some of our video games, and it's hard to imagine Doom not being one of them. But there will come a point when everyone who played Doom when it was new is dead. Hell, we've already reached the point where they're all middle-aged at best.
Train's Arrival movie is still remembered, though it's not relevant at all. And if we go deeper into movie analogy, Doom is more like Nosferatu-1922, which is not only remembered, but is actually kinda mainstream. I think, Doom has even more chances to be remembered in centuries, because videogames as entity are even easier to keep than movies
My grandmother (on my mother's side) had dementia before she died. She slowly forgot everything and everybody, with the exception of me, my then-at-the-time fiancée, and my mother. She only really remembered me and my ex because we saw her everyday. My ex was also a live-in caretaker. As she got closer to her time, she needed to be reminded who her daughter was every day. Every day, she would also say that she saw her husband (who died in 1990, and she died in 2016) and a little girl. We never figured out who that little girl could have been, or was. I will always remember the night she died. My ex was taking care of her and she was freaking out in her bedroom, scratching on her door. When I got the call, my mother and I went over, and her last words will always be burned into my mind. Now comes the paradoxical lucidity part. In the end, she remembered everything, and her last words were "I should have listened to you. I'm so sorry."
I love this. I like how at the end, at the tunnel bit, it felt like you're dying.. and later on you talked about paradoxical lucidity and kinda confirmed it. It's probably a really well made wad. Also at points it reminded me of weird liminal psychological horror "adventure maps" I'd make as a child in Minecraft
this randomly appeared in my recommended and i have never played doom, yet found this video strangely entertaining. I like how I can tell something is wrong with the game even if ive never seen the orginal, and I also think your commentary is really funny and nice
I am a very hard person to creep out, or even scare. But this particular WAD made me tense, on edge, and even sometimes made me brace expecting a jumpscare or worse, only to get nothing and feel even worse. The walls slowly fading, the rooms appearing, morphing, and disappearing randomly, and the very sudden lack of enemies only to have some appear out of no where then to never appear again, bringing a sense of helplessness as the thing you did regularly now is now treasured only for you to get it and have it immediately get taken away from you. It all adds up to a sense where you feel more and more helpless as time goes on until you finally feel like it has stopped… only for you and your journey to suddenly end without a clear answer as to how it ended. It’s scary, really scary. But it’s also eye opening, in a sense that you really need to take care of and treasure what you have cause it could all fade away without warning.
My grandmother recently entered the middle stages of dementia, and its honestly terrifying. She still remembers people (for now), but she can't be left alone, or she'll just, wander around and forget her way home. She isn't even aware anythings wrong because she forgets forgetting things. All I can really hope for is that dementia will not be a thing you can't defeat forever.
A mod of Dementia itself. You don't remember certain aspects of rooms or areas. You don't remember doing things that you had previously done. And as the environment around you seems everchanging, you feel as though you are in a different place entirely. Your perception of the world continuously distorts and fades away. And in your eyes it becomes a terrifying nightmare. Truly a terror
16:00 - it's actually not just a jump-scare. It's something different. At moderate stages at dementia it swaps. Instead of seeing oddities in person normal behavior from time to time, you see a bizzare behavior with just glimplses of normal behavior, when suddenly person with demeptia starts behaving normally, especially when it's doing something he is fond of. Who is a doom guy? He is space marine - so killing hordes of monsters is natuaral behavior for him. And now suddenly after long moments of confusion and not being able to find his way in well-known walls, he sees horde of monsters, and kills it with shotgun, like he used to do it, when everything was ok. Imagine not a doom guy, but your grandpa, whom you took to a finishg and suddenly he actually caughts one or your grandma, who comes to kitchen and cooks a nice breakfast for you. What makes it especially sad - it's the last time doom guy fights the horde. And you would always remember the last time, when your loved ones showed this glimpse of former selves.
i really hate how it even turns the usually comfy exit door into something sinister. very much reminds me of the caretakers 'everywhere at the end of time', a self-described simulation of dementia/alzheimers, slowly turning comfy old timey songs into garbled messes without recognition by the end. very disturbing, yet impactful and meaningful. thanks for sharing this with us (also i wasn't finished with the video as i wrote this out, and wasn't surprised to see the caretaker shoutout from the wadmaker!)
I remember how they made all wads cannon, and this makes for an interesting story. Doomguy defeats the Icon of Sin, but the horrors of hell have done irreparable damage to his mind. Wandering hell aimlessly with nowhere to go, nothing to do, he is trapped in his own head. He fires his weapons wildly, his blood-curdling screams of battle echo throughout hell. Both sounds go unheard. There is nothing left. At some point, he comes to the conclusion that something feels strange. Maybe he should've run out of ammo by now? Is he on Deimos? That was the chemical plant just now, surely, but he was there days ago... He descends further into madness. Spiralling ever downward. Forgetting about hell, how he got to where he is. Until suddenly, a realization. His mission was complete: he's in hell, he abandoned his weapons days ago, he's so hungry, having not eaten in what must be weeks. And despite all of the raging fires and rivers of magma in this wasteland of hell... He's so cold.
He sits, takes his helmet off, carefully placing it beside him. He lays down on the floor, and closes his eyes to get a bit of rest. Only to never open them ever again...
First exposure to this wad and as someone that has lost a few friends to dementia, I knew it was going to be a representation of dementia from the second the switch was on the wrong side of the exit room at the beginning. Absolutely brilliantly done and really exemplifies the horror of dementia.
i really like how by not only just being interactive but by taking place in a beloved game, it makes the dementia simulation way more potent by legitimately making you question if youre remembering things right if youre already familiar with the game
honestly the only thing i dont like is the lighting. the strobing is really unpleasant, and im not even photosensitive or epileptic. i see what its going for but it kinda sucks
@@caydenbrown5654 in GZDoom, it removes most pixels from sprites to make it more "smooth" in which most people dislike so they just leave it off and never turn it on
In the entire video i was preparing myself mentally to get a screamer blasted on my entire face, but in the end, specially with what you expected about dementia and all, i became very depressed and almost cried, it's something so terrifying that literally it could already have began and you dont even notice it coming or being there, and mental degradation and diseases are the thing that scares me the most, the worst way of torture is to get my brain changed drastically to the point i am no longer myself and my body is in perfect condition but i still cant function correctly if at all
Great video! Although the conclusion of "the WAD is about dementia" was pretty obvious a quarter of the way into the playthrough. I definitely understand the desire to make it seem like said conclusion was set up by clues left throughout the video, but it could've been more subtle if you ask me. Maybe saying it more vague in some cases, like just describing certain things as "skipped", or "different from how I remember", as opposed to pointing it out as "like Doomguy is forgetting". The map thing could've just been stated matter-of-fact, with a comment further enough down the line (as to seem unrelated) about it being hard to remember where you're going in the new confusing layouts. But that's just me. Besides that, great stuff!
I have Always Wondered about the creators of the wads and how they come up with these wad ideas, they are very creative and creepy. (EDIT:Thank You So Much For The Likes Guys)
He specified that it's inspire by "doom, but something's of" and "everywhere at the end of time" (which is an album that mimics dementia through music.)
Potentially Drugs pushing their already creative mind. Creators of Postal Brain Damaged and serious Sam 2 were high for example for many of the crazier ideas.
I caught on around the 3rd level that it was dementia or something similar. It was also a bit of a giveaway with how many times dude mentions forgetting stuff.
It was obvious early on, especially when he kept using the word "forget" multiple times. But I was already familiar with the Caretaker album, so this concept was easy to spot.
Yeah, an epilepsy warning would have been helpful for those who needed it. I don't have epilepsy, and I was starting to develop it by around 18:15, holy cripe. Otherwise, I've never grown up with DOOM (and still have yet to play one of any kind), but seeing mods like this that personifies the idea of dementia seems fascinating. Credit to the creator for personifying the concept into something like a horror mod. And seeing that youropinionsarewrong themselves commented to it, I'd say it's certainly got attention!
BRUH those subtle little changes in E1M2 are SO unsettling. I know most of the first Doom like the back of my hand. Like...I know most of it like most people know E1M1. I casually know deep secrets and do them as part of normal gameplay(not special, i know, but I gotta make a point here) so...running through the epilepsy maze and it's just....*not right*. That creeped me out just watching. I love this. It's like....cursed Doom. It makes me feel the same way that cursed gun images make my gunnut son feel xD
This was a really, really amazing wad. It's up there with myhouse and rootpain. Thanks for covering these, Midnight! Also just as a side note, on E1M3 in the room with the secret wall leading to the soul sphere, the other secret wall that you mentioned shouldn't exist actually does and has always existed in '93 Doom. It contains an early rocket launcher, combat armor, a backpack, and the switch that makes the bridge appear in front of the starting position that leads to the secret level! :)
Yeah, the linedef you cross to lower the Soul Sphere secret also lowers that other secret, so you have a choice - but you can also run from one to the other if you're fast enough.
As soon as he said the some parts of the game were forgotten I immediately knew what the WAD was about. As someone who has never experienced it, I can only imagine how terrifying it could be for yourself or a loved one to go though something like that.
I'm not going to lie. I know that doomguy didn't have dementia in the games, but this really is scary. And I agree. Sadly, there is no cure for dementia. And because there is no cure, it is very depressing and dark that nobody can defeat it. Dementia was diagnosed in only one member of my family and that was my grandmother. Sadly she passed away from it. I certainly miss her but I've got my entire life ahead of me. And what truly matters is my girlfriend and I. And this will pave a road for the future. As much as she and I love each other, I know she and I will get along greatly. Bless all of you.
Before the WAD's reveal near the end, I knew what it was about by the third level because of one of the WAD's inspirations, Everywhere at the end of time, which Nexpo talked about a few years ago and it has stuck with me ever since, this mod is harrowingly accurate to that album. One of the few things I can pride myself about is my good memory (for better or worse) and just the thought of it crumbling and not making heads or tails of anything anymore scares the crap out of me.
Its amazing how the Doom game has turned into more than just a FPS. These mods turn it into art medium, like a painting on a canvas. Its beautiful in a way that something like OG doom can have a emotional/profound effect on you. Its transcended what it originally was imo.
Reading the title "The thing you can't defeat" and the whole thing being about forgetting things, it was easy to assume the title was referring to dementia/alzheimer's even before the big reveal. I spent about 3/4th's of the video thinking "It's gonna be alzheimer's, It's gonna be alzheimer's, It's gonna be alzheimer's".
Damn, that was deep Midnight! Thanks for sharing the experience and bringing some awareness to this disease! Alzheimer's is a terrible disease that sucks for everyone involved.
Tbh, if we talk about the story in this time, doomguy would be either confused or happy that probably someone else killed the demons, or as in this mod it's just his dementia.
Its Doomguy's final clear memory before he dies , he can't remember anything that is happening ,the only last thing he remembers is the place in the past where it all begin and where it all has to end......
I now understand what happened to my grandad 😭😭 i went to go see him and he didn't remember me at first but when I was leaving he remembered me and then passed away a few hours later...... This video has actually put me In tears but I'm glad it shows what can happen and it's made me understand thank you so much for playing this ❤
I LOVE this kind of horror. I loved it in early back rooms concept(before internet children and their creators ruined it) i love it in SCP, that instead of going BIG MONSTER SCARY, is fucking with your mind, presenting you ideas beyond your comprehension, that give your brain enough information to be acknowledge as "potencial danger" and "scary" but not enough for you to understand it fully and give hope for developing counter measures.
i knew it was going to go this way. i'm glad it didnt go totally overboard or integrate anything from the album, but was just inspired. great map, great video!
From the start I knew it had to do with dementia and I feel proud that I guessed that but also damn is dementia terrifying and this mod did a good job in the transitioning through stages
Also I just realized, if any of you have read the Godzilla NES Creepypasta, you'd realize that this wad is kind of like that, first starts of normal but with minor changes, and slowly but surely would change more and more to the point it would feel as if it's a totally different game
@@Grey_World1 because it's that powerful. it took every kaiju the protagonist could use, every ounce of focus he had, and an outright deus ex machina to actually take it on by the end
@@Grey_World1 there definitely is. towards the very end there's a final confrontation with Red, which Zach describes as being (in my own words) brutally unfair and infuriating
This mod is very unique. I would recommend everywhere at the end of time. It’s my favourite album. This is also a great representation of dementia much like everywhere at the end of time
doom's 🤨 and 😠 face is very accurate to the feelings of people who played through the initial stages of this wad, not gonna lie but honestly, doom being a medium to showcase dementia is a cool concept and was executed very well
the most creepy and abnormal is the fact that while we go for Yellow card and goin' back to the Yellow door, we hear only the sounds of the Doomguy's breathing (we hear it, right?) and then we go through a completely empty base without any enemies, in which it seems that there is no one at all, except for Marine, and there is no one left. Nobody at all....
The other secret room in E1M3 does exist in the original doom, you get the rocket launcher there, but in the original it's toxic waste that surrounds it, not lava.
The mod is a pretty accurate metaphorical example of how gaslighting works. You know how something is supposed to be, you know that the exit is on the right side, but there's these subtle "lies", the mod is gaslighting you, making you question your reality.
When you said "no me hagan caso por favor" right there I got disturbed as hell so I had to rewind to see if it was not my imagination 😂 not really but I had to look the info tab on your channel to realize you are from Mexico 😊
What a sad metaphor. Amazing how such an outlandish vehicle like Doom can be so effective to make this relatable. Very smart idea. My father also fought with this. Thankfully, one wants to say, he left us for other health reasons before this devastating sickness could completely destroy his memory. So I got the priviledge of my father still being very much himself, making sarcastic jokes like "my memory isn't bad, it's just very picky" about himself. The same guy I always loved, just forgot a lot of things - but hadn't yet forgotten how to throw charm and humour at the issue in a way that made it less serious. I will be forever thankful for that, and truth be told, wish for myself that one day the order of events that start taking me out follows a similar grace saving sequence (unfortunately such health issues are often repeated by following generations) so that my daughters get to remember me while being at least a passable version of actual me as well. .... Didn't exactly expect to end at this place after watching a video about a doom mod. Thanks for this.
SPOILER ALERT: I literally said to myself about seven minutes in "This is about Dementia, isn't it?" And I was dead on. I recognized this, because I saw a Friday Night Funkin' mod that covered a similar subject, and my late grandmother also had Vascular Dementia, so it clicked for me pretty quickly. Props to the author for a fairly accurate depiction of what I can only imagine it being like.
I'm kind of rolling my eyes at the overly dramatic presentation of being surprised that things being different than expected is creepy after having deliberately downloaded a modified Doom where that's the blatant expectation. I think it was a little heavy-handed to overtly narrate that you "CAN'T REMEMBER" thing that you're playing for the first time like "this is CUH-RAZY!" since it somewhat deflates the reveal of the premise somewhat. I'm more so watching because I'm interested in the content of the mod then the reaction of it. I do have to thank you for sharing it though because I'd have not ever seen this otherwise. It's extremely interesting and pretty neatly executed as a concept. The Doom community is a pretty special place.
This map wad is simply masterful. It goes from the demons being Doom guy's worst threat... to no demons in the last three levels as he becomes his own worst threat.
Damn. I sat there thinking "This really reminds me of The Caretaker's EATEOT" before finally the post revealed that it was indeed an inspiration. Also, it reminds me a bit of KittyHorrorShow's indie game "Anatomy", which also involves a slowly-decaying game map. It is such a fascinating and frightening theme.
if I get baited into watching 30 minutes of a creepy doom wad just to find out its a metaphor for the meaning of life and a portrayal of someone desperately trying to cope with their lack of a reason to exist again I'm going to be seriously disappointed *cough myhouse*
I have a Grandfather in the early stages of Alzheimer’s so this hit pretty hard for me. Didn’t know about some of these things so it was actually quite informative.
Whoa, I played the ultimate Doom before as a kid, and I remembered the switch inside the exit being on the right. Not the left. That's what I noticed that was different and strange.
Find it so awesome I was able to pick up on the main inspiration being everywhere at the end of time just through the way the maps designed, especially the ending of it having you start from the beginning again into nothingness to represent the final stage, neat stuff
Commented on other playthroughs of this, didn't realize you featured it too (though, I guess it makes sense). Extremely depressing manifestation of a disease that can hit everyone. What I approved of in particular is showcasing paradoxical lucidity: this is one of the most bizarre mental health phenomena we've yet to explain. From a scientific point of view it's comparable to an adrenaline rush and inhuman strength, but what makes this theory loose is the fact that the involved neuronal pathways should no longer exist. Whilst theoretically possible it all still exists but cannot be accessed regularly might be a plausible theory, but then it's still the question as to when exactly it occurs. As for some death follows immediately, for others days or even weeks. Powerful stuff for a DOOM wad, personally in my top three of the recent years.
6 minutes into the vid, and from the wall textures being turned gray and the map being twisted I'm willing to bet this is gonna be a dementia themed depressiontrain
very scary
EDIT: If you liked the video be sure to leave a like, my sanity would greatly appreciate that :]
very scary
very very scary
incredibly horrifying
@@thereaver954 very very very scary
@@bruteng836 nightmare inducing
“This is the most disturbing doom mod!”
“Midnight… this is the seventh week in a row you’ve shown the most disturbing doom mod in class.”
Goes to show you that there a lot of Disturbing Doom Mods xd
@@Midnighthalo when will u make the most disturbing doom mod? I have been waiting for years man
"wanna see me do it again?"
Clickbait
I still think that rootpain beats this. This might be the most disturbing DOOM MOD but rootpain is the most disturbing .WAD
This doom mod hit close to home for me. My grandpa had dementia before he passed away last year and he was a great and funny guy. This mod encompasses that illness and demonstrates it in a manner we can all see and understand which got me extremely sad. I've been playing Doom since I was 5 years old (I'm 32 now) and my grandparents didn't approve of me playing violent games but I enlightened them by saying that I'm killing demons which is good and they would let me play. I'm also Catholic. God bless them
God bless you, your family, and Im very sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing fine my friend.
I can very much relate. My Grandpa came down with really severe alzheimers to the point where he had to live in a care home. After 4 years living in that care home he passed away. It greatly saddens me knowing what he went through in his final years, but I'm glad he can finally rest in peace. God bless.
I can relate, my grandma has dementia... last time I talked to her on the phone she didn't even recognize who she was talking to, she thought I was her old doctor who died a few years ago. saddest thing is, that we saw the early signs a few years ago and there was nothing we could do...
I can relate. My father has Parkinson’s dementia so I’ve been watching him lose both his mind and mobility over the last 5 years. I couldn’t make my way through this video because it hits too close to home and puts me in tears.
If this was what the designer of the WAD was aiming for, they did an excellent job of it.
My Salvadorian grandpa had Alzheimers, and passed due to it in his sleep, may all our dead grandpas rest in peace.
Hey, I made that WAD!
Thank you for featuring it on your channel :D
If you're being for real why and what made you make this art
this is a good work of a WAD, very artistic
This WAD hit rather hard when i played it and realized at the last level what it was hinting at, i've watched two family members become nothing but shells due to dementia...
proof?
@@aperks its on his channel
when my grandma got late stage dementia, this also happened to her. She also thought it was 20-30 years ago sometimes, yet never forgot who I was. Every time I would visit her, she would think she's leaving with me to go "home", which was heartbreaking she didnt even recognize her own house anymore.
My friends grandmother had Alzheimer’s and every day I was over she would think I was my friends brother and would forget about her husbands death. It was heartbreaking watching his mom have to explain her husband died and watch the old lady go through the shock again. I think I’d have just lied and said he was away on a trip
Atleast you found the Jellow key card...
You won the comment section my friend 😂
Nice, finally. Using Doom as a medium for this is simply genius. The horror of seeing something that many people love and are deeply familiar with being slowly distorted and erased.
Thanks for the suggestion :]
Sounds like most creepypastas
@@MyTwoYT specifically most video game ones, but executed (lol) far better
Sounds like what's happening to my home country. Land of the Stupid and Fat, home of the Bullies and Cowards.
don't care
I played the wad before watching the video and reached the conclusion that this wad was about dementia and its stages, and it seems like this was indeed about dementia.
I was thinking the exact same thing. It's like Everywhere at the End of Time. Starts off normal, but just goes down hill from there on.
It could also be both that and PTSD, which would explain why doomguy is recalling the original levels with minor differences at first, and also could be an explanation for the wall of marine corpses
@@violetbackedstarling Oh yeah, very true. I didn't even think of that.
The first time I saw this WAD, any meaning flew over my head. I thought it was all A glitch.
@@Grey_World1 you got that creepypasta protagonist mindset
Horror is always better when there's no jumpscares, but just extreme unease, especially from something you're so familiar with.
I'd love it so much to see something like this for another game, like half-life
For soem reason, only Doom gets such great maps
@@BierBart12Probably because Doom is the most easily-accessible in terms of creating content, with all the powerful tools we have such as UDB and Slade.
Actually, horror is better when the scene presents you with a situation that contradicts your primal fears.
jumpscares can be great, they are just bad when all the horror comes from them and its only scripted scenes
True. Fnaf wasn't popular because of great jumpscares but the build up and tension.
Gmod maps are eerie and haunted when empty. Even the background sound effects meant to add life only makes it more disturbing.
Running around in some gmod maps and empty dark tunnels is scarier than entire indie games.
Dementia is the most terrifying thing you can experience. imagine your entire life jumping by you, completely out of your control, and you know that you're missing it all and there is nothing you can do. you're just in a constant cycle of getting a fix of where you are, who they are, what happened, when it is, how long you forgot, just to experience the same thing again at any moment. just one long reaccuring nightmare
Bouts of clarity. Something triggers a memory. It all comes back to you. You've got your fragmented self back, for a short while. You realize all that is being taken from you. Your love, your hopes, your dreams. You realize they are things they are as much a part of you as your own heart beat. But you had lost them and just got them back. But for how long? Doom settles in your soul, as you weep upon realization. You're going to lose them all over again. And maybe, this time you won't get them back.
My grandmother had Alzheimers. From my mother, who worked at a hospital and hospice, and took care of her mother/my grandmother: "It is one of the cruelest ways someone can die."
Honestly, I think I'd rather be shot while I was Lucid, than go into such a decline as to not even be a shadow, but a hollow shell of what I am.
Way to steal the moment. We almost forgot what this video was about😂😂😂😂
“ Doom guy may be able to beat the ever living shit out of creatures from hell but he cannot fight against the slow degradation of his own mind”
Doom guy *beats the slow degradation of his own mind*
holy shit he did it!
@@Kreshura-tm5rb, because he's the motherfucking Doomguy. Dementia is just another demon he needs to kill XD
@@pramusetyakanca1552 yayy
@@pramusetyakanca1552now that I think of it, dementia and demon actually do have something in common.
Now that I think of it again, democracy has even more in common with demon...
My father started showing signs in the mid-00's but I couldn't get him to agree to see a doctor until 2011 when he was 65. It was a rare genetic form of early onset dementia. His younger sister moved up the same month and helped me take care of him until he died in December 2015. But by then I realized she was showing signs too. I've been taking care of her ever since, mostly on my own. She is 72 now and doesn't remember my name. This isn't how I thought I would spend my 30s into my mid-40s but here I am.
And don't ask about why I didn't put them in a home. It's the quickest way to kill them as they lose everything they are familiar with. And then there is the cost. Memory care starts at $5k/month and no, Medicare and medicaid do not pay for it. I have a good job but not enough for that on top of my expenses. The only good that came of covid was it made my job remote which makes her care easier.
I don't know when this nightmare will end but I'm missing her while I have her. And then there is the creeping anxiety about myself, my grandmother also had it so I am left wondering....
man, i hope everything is ok, stay strong, life takes us down strange paths... i know is hard to take care of someone in that condition, but you're doing something that most people tend to avoid, and you're a great person for that, have a good one man, you're doing great
@@juanes8931 Thank you, it is appreciated.
$5k a month.
Merica moment, truly the land of the free of all time
that's fucking rough. I don't know how it would be (other than nightmarish) to see your loved ones succumb to something that is not only debilitating, but slow and so cruel that time itself is stolen from them, i.e. their memories. I really feel for you and your aunt. mine also had dementia, which while I wasn't around for it, I know was incredibly hard on my cousins.
the line "I'm missing her while I have her" pretty much says it all, I think. it's such a horrendously cruel fate, and I hope she doesn't suffer too long, for both of you (I don't mean for that to sound callous, but you know what I mean). stay strong, and here's hoping you're spared from it -- and anyone else you're close with. it's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy.
by the by, there's a very good song called 'Constance' by the metal band Spiritbox about the singer's and video director's grandmothers' battles with dementia: th-cam.com/video/mY_oDyqRM1A/w-d-xo.html . it's fairly heavy in both sound and substance, but I often find solace in that, so perhaps you will too.
Use curcuma in dishes or buy medicine with curcumin. Hindu people are less likely to get dementis and it's good in preventing it.
I used a lot of Coenzyme Q and when distributing high doeses mygrandma was able to read by herself accord like she always was in the past. Cocnut oil also boosts regsining of cognitoon since it bypasses dementia's diabetes characteristics.
I used l karnitin too but it was painful for the stomach when too much given. Ginko biloba is good for mood swings so they can be more calm and less sad. Hope this helps.
There's one more layer to this that I don't see people talking about. The later levels lack enemies, items, and/or secrets. You always get "100%" on those on the level-end screen, since there aren't any, and the final stage gives you a free 100% on all three. I think this may be a reference to how people in later stages of dementia, those in care centers, are given simple games to play where they always win, just to make them happy.
Proof?
perhaps, in addition to just making sense in a level design perspective
It could also be that the results screen is not affected by the dimentia, so it's tracking stuff that you did achieve, but you cannot remember.
Or that all their enemies fade away with their memories
@@n646n Proof of what?
Part way through I was beginning to suspect either dementia or death would be the thing you can not escape but wow I didn’t expect how literal it was on the stages of dementia. Only thing I vaguely remember hearing about was the paradoxical lucidity part. When you were going through the stages and were asking why the end looked normal the reality sunk in hard.
Great video, you’ve earned a sub from me! Also great to see another classic Resident Evil fan.
yeah, with all the mentions of forgetting or mind/insanity stuff, i kinda put it together quickly
When he first mentioned not remembering something I thought it was dementia or an enemy you can’t remember remember
That's how you do horror. No shitty jumpsscares, no real threat. Just an atmosphere.
Imagine in a way. This is the epilogue ending to Doom.
Doom, doom 2, plutonia, Doom 2016, Doom Eternal and anything after.
Ending with him remembering the first mission he encountered hell right before he dies.
This is it. This is hell.
It's weird. I imagine the demons were there. But at that point Doomguy was essentially not a threat/acting like a zombie so they just, left him.
In the time skips (the rushed end of E1M2 and the sudden clipping from E1M4 to E1M5) he made a rampage without recollection. In the later parts, E1M6-E1M8 (note that everything from E1M5 ongoing is shifted one mapslot forward, so technically E1M5-E1M7) he most presumably rampaged without even being mentally there at the moment.
Or what if that every demons are dead already, and he's...alone in his death door, that's why when he remembered everything back before the final exit, there's no one there.
@@schokoladereee
"No! I must kill the demons!"
"No John, you already killed the demons."
And then John had a terminal lucidity.
@@themartonjanos6194 John doom
First the MyHouse wad, now this?! I am so into these rabbit-hole types of DOOM wads. It's just both incredible and insane how these wad creators work on some of these types of wads!
I'm going down the same rabbit hole lol
Both MyHouse and TTYCD got a spike in popularity the recent month
I like the learning about the story or other people's experiences but I'm not a fan of actually exploring them myself
@@maxpavlovsky I mean it makes sense because my house released like 3 months ago lmao
If I had a nickel for everytime a doom wad game me existential dread, I’d have 2 nickels, which isn’t much but it’s weird it happened twice
“or… this is the work of an enemy stand…” had me smiling for a bit
Nice to see a fellow jojo enjoyer
@@Midnighthalo JoJo is epic man
@@Midnighthalo We need a jojo mod for doom
omg!1! fucking jejo rferecne!!!! omg best anime of all time!1/!! 2nd only to all jojos fvrotie anime bocu no pico
@@shadowyyCFH Finaly a smart comment on youtube.
As a Doom wad, this was really, really well done, the attention to details was on point. It was such an unique and interesting way to show off the ability to communicate a message through Doom modding. High props to the author for that.
As content in general... I dunno man, I'm lowkey getting tired of the dementia theme in indie media. When The Caretaker presented the world his "Everywhere at the End of Time" album, it was so cool how creatively he was able to portray the horrors of dementia, and how much awareness it brought to this horrible disease. 3 years later, and I personally think this subject is saturated already. Recently, whenever I notice any piece of media in which things start to get weird, it immediately makes me go "it's going to be about dementia, isn't it?" And it's jarring the amount of times I get that right.
In the mid 2010's the trend was "it was an allegory for anxiety and depression all the time", to the point we could tell from a mile away when something was trying to show a message about those themes. Now it seems like the same is being done with dementia. It was cool for a while, and it's definitely something that needs even more awareness to be raised than it already has. But honestly, it got done so much that it's now very easy to predict when something is dementia related. I wish it wasn't, but it is.
It's super weird that there's so many things with similar effects in the beginning, yet *always* oops, dementia again!
Heck even vertigo apparently has some of this. My grandad would get up to stage 4 here, then returned to normal by just doing a weird head rotation for 10 minutes.
Would be a neat mechanic where you have very *long* Turok style levels and have to hope it doesn't hit while you're in combat, then you gotta spin around a bit to recover every so often to get rid of the blank spots and listing
this mod hits different when i have started to have memory issues at the age of 20 already., well, signs started to show a few years ago but its gotten depressing already.
Not-So-Fun Fact: issues with memory are a symptom of anxiety, stress, depression, burnout, or a combination thereof! In fact, a lot of signs of frazzled mental health are surpisingly similar to early symptoms of dementia! ...Don't ask me how I know this (': The good news is that it's NOT the start of a perpetual decline, and is immediately reversible if you can address those mental health issues or sources of stress in your life :)
Take care of yourself ❤
Doing any better dude? I'd try some iron supplements if not
@@jimbomcbob7849do those actually help? if so im probably iron deficient
@@omegadragons321 Absolutely. I was able to get off ADD meds with iron and caffine
Op is lying
I've seen a let's play of this WAD. This is truly a spooky experience, and it's not even Halloween yet.
Its amazing how horror can be extremely subjective.
@@Midnighthalo Quick Question: have you covered My House.WAD?
I know this may be an unnecessary question, but I want to know.
@@Herobrinegrn1 he did
@@Just_Daze Thanks
Everywhere at the end of DOOM. There will be a point in time in which everyone will forget DOOM's existence and the impact that it has had on the FPS community.
Edit: Looks like I offended the entire DOOM community. (Unintended trolling mission: accomplished)
Unfortunately for that reality, Doom is Eternal
I don't necessarily think that's true. Lots of cultural works are good enough to still be remembered centuries, sometimes even millennia later. Just to keep things gaming-related, people still play chess and Go. If there's still human civilization 500 years from now, they're going to remember some of our video games, and it's hard to imagine Doom not being one of them.
But there will come a point when everyone who played Doom when it was new is dead. Hell, we've already reached the point where they're all middle-aged at best.
@@Enceladeans There's still the eventual death of the universe.
@@trashman966 doom is still eternal
Train's Arrival movie is still remembered, though it's not relevant at all. And if we go deeper into movie analogy, Doom is more like Nosferatu-1922, which is not only remembered, but is actually kinda mainstream. I think, Doom has even more chances to be remembered in centuries, because videogames as entity are even easier to keep than movies
My grandmother (on my mother's side) had dementia before she died. She slowly forgot everything and everybody, with the exception of me, my then-at-the-time fiancée, and my mother. She only really remembered me and my ex because we saw her everyday. My ex was also a live-in caretaker. As she got closer to her time, she needed to be reminded who her daughter was every day. Every day, she would also say that she saw her husband (who died in 1990, and she died in 2016) and a little girl. We never figured out who that little girl could have been, or was. I will always remember the night she died. My ex was taking care of her and she was freaking out in her bedroom, scratching on her door. When I got the call, my mother and I went over, and her last words will always be burned into my mind. Now comes the paradoxical lucidity part. In the end, she remembered everything, and her last words were "I should have listened to you. I'm so sorry."
Jesus Christ I'm so sorry
@@ivansobr Thank you. My only regret is that I wasn't there to say goodbye.
Do you know if she ever had a miscarriage or stillborn? Maybe it was a lost child?🤔
She remembered because she had her life flash before her eyes, I'm so so sorry for that horrible pain my condolences
I love this. I like how at the end, at the tunnel bit, it felt like you're dying.. and later on you talked about paradoxical lucidity and kinda confirmed it. It's probably a really well made wad. Also at points it reminded me of weird liminal psychological horror "adventure maps" I'd make as a child in Minecraft
this randomly appeared in my recommended and i have never played doom, yet found this video strangely entertaining. I like how I can tell something is wrong with the game even if ive never seen the orginal, and I also think your commentary is really funny and nice
I am a very hard person to creep out, or even scare. But this particular WAD made me tense, on edge, and even sometimes made me brace expecting a jumpscare or worse, only to get nothing and feel even worse. The walls slowly fading, the rooms appearing, morphing, and disappearing randomly, and the very sudden lack of enemies only to have some appear out of no where then to never appear again, bringing a sense of helplessness as the thing you did regularly now is now treasured only for you to get it and have it immediately get taken away from you. It all adds up to a sense where you feel more and more helpless as time goes on until you finally feel like it has stopped… only for you and your journey to suddenly end without a clear answer as to how it ended. It’s scary, really scary. But it’s also eye opening, in a sense that you really need to take care of and treasure what you have cause it could all fade away without warning.
Wait till you see my house.wad
Bro wrote allat for a video game💀
@@Macc-yeah, and? We're watching a channel do a review of a video game custom map. We love games. That's sort of the idea.
My grandmother recently entered the middle stages of dementia, and its honestly terrifying. She still remembers people (for now), but she can't be left alone, or she'll just, wander around and forget her way home. She isn't even aware anythings wrong because she forgets forgetting things. All I can really hope for is that dementia will not be a thing you can't defeat forever.
my grandpa also had dementia... he passed away last year... i'm so sorry for what you are going trough...
@@rbahiaofc Sorry for your loss.
@@Sgt_Robo thanks
A mod of Dementia itself. You don't remember certain aspects of rooms or areas. You don't remember doing things that you had previously done. And as the environment around you seems everchanging, you feel as though you are in a different place entirely. Your perception of the world continuously distorts and fades away. And in your eyes it becomes a terrifying nightmare. Truly a terror
I absolutely love when people make analogies for things that cannot be explained
16:00 - it's actually not just a jump-scare. It's something different. At moderate stages at dementia it swaps. Instead of seeing oddities in person normal behavior from time to time, you see a bizzare behavior with just glimplses of normal behavior, when suddenly person with demeptia starts behaving normally, especially when it's doing something he is fond of. Who is a doom guy? He is space marine - so killing hordes of monsters is natuaral behavior for him. And now suddenly after long moments of confusion and not being able to find his way in well-known walls, he sees horde of monsters, and kills it with shotgun, like he used to do it, when everything was ok.
Imagine not a doom guy, but your grandpa, whom you took to a finishg and suddenly he actually caughts one or your grandma, who comes to kitchen and cooks a nice breakfast for you.
What makes it especially sad - it's the last time doom guy fights the horde. And you would always remember the last time, when your loved ones showed this glimpse of former selves.
i really hate how it even turns the usually comfy exit door into something sinister. very much reminds me of the caretakers 'everywhere at the end of time', a self-described simulation of dementia/alzheimers, slowly turning comfy old timey songs into garbled messes without recognition by the end. very disturbing, yet impactful and meaningful. thanks for sharing this with us (also i wasn't finished with the video as i wrote this out, and wasn't surprised to see the caretaker shoutout from the wadmaker!)
,,very much reminds me of the caretakers 'everywhere at the end of time'"
Then watch: 23:53
EATEOT inspired MyHouse's music too. Never thought it'd get so much Doom overlap.
I remember how they made all wads cannon, and this makes for an interesting story.
Doomguy defeats the Icon of Sin, but the horrors of hell have done irreparable damage to his mind. Wandering hell aimlessly with nowhere to go, nothing to do, he is trapped in his own head. He fires his weapons wildly, his blood-curdling screams of battle echo throughout hell. Both sounds go unheard. There is nothing left. At some point, he comes to the conclusion that something feels strange. Maybe he should've run out of ammo by now? Is he on Deimos? That was the chemical plant just now, surely, but he was there days ago... He descends further into madness. Spiralling ever downward. Forgetting about hell, how he got to where he is. Until suddenly, a realization. His mission was complete: he's in hell, he abandoned his weapons days ago, he's so hungry, having not eaten in what must be weeks. And despite all of the raging fires and rivers of magma in this wasteland of hell...
He's so cold.
He sits, takes his helmet off, carefully placing it beside him. He lays down on the floor, and closes his eyes to get a bit of rest. Only to never open them ever again...
I could imagine it take place on doom64
First exposure to this wad and as someone that has lost a few friends to dementia, I knew it was going to be a representation of dementia from the second the switch was on the wrong side of the exit room at the beginning. Absolutely brilliantly done and really exemplifies the horror of dementia.
Wow. That is super creepy, with all the little "glitches." Culminating in that endless black tunnel.
i really like how by not only just being interactive but by taking place in a beloved game, it makes the dementia simulation way more potent by legitimately making you question if youre remembering things right if youre already familiar with the game
honestly the only thing i dont like is the lighting. the strobing is really unpleasant, and im not even photosensitive or epileptic. i see what its going for but it kinda sucks
The most disturbing thing about this video so far is that you have texture filtering on.
texture filtering 😱😱
Wot that
@@caydenbrown5654 in GZDoom, it removes most pixels from sprites to make it more "smooth" in which most people dislike so they just leave it off and never turn it on
@@noctis_fella I guess the filter was on here either because they enjoy the game that way or it just fit this entire Mod
@@dynamitoriel9056 yea
In the entire video i was preparing myself mentally to get a screamer blasted on my entire face, but in the end, specially with what you expected about dementia and all, i became very depressed and almost cried, it's something so terrifying that literally it could already have began and you dont even notice it coming or being there, and mental degradation and diseases are the thing that scares me the most, the worst way of torture is to get my brain changed drastically to the point i am no longer myself and my body is in perfect condition but i still cant function correctly if at all
Great video! Although the conclusion of "the WAD is about dementia" was pretty obvious a quarter of the way into the playthrough. I definitely understand the desire to make it seem like said conclusion was set up by clues left throughout the video, but it could've been more subtle if you ask me. Maybe saying it more vague in some cases, like just describing certain things as "skipped", or "different from how I remember", as opposed to pointing it out as "like Doomguy is forgetting". The map thing could've just been stated matter-of-fact, with a comment further enough down the line (as to seem unrelated) about it being hard to remember where you're going in the new confusing layouts.
But that's just me. Besides that, great stuff!
This wad perfectly describes..... I forgor 💀
We forgor💀💀
@@TheWeirdcoreMan forgommunism
But then you rember 😇
@@Flesh_WizardMemory issues to EVERYONE!
Rememer
I have Always Wondered about the creators of the wads and how they come up with these wad ideas, they are very creative and creepy.
(EDIT:Thank You So Much For The Likes Guys)
Every mind is its own universe.
@@Midnighthalo indeed it is.
He specified that it's inspire by "doom, but something's of" and "everywhere at the end of time" (which is an album that mimics dementia through music.)
@@Midnighthalo You my brother are like Shakespeare with your words, DooM blesses you with demon slaying and badass music, my man! 👍
Potentially Drugs pushing their already creative mind. Creators of Postal Brain Damaged and serious Sam 2 were high for example for many of the crazier ideas.
everyone who reached the end and listened to the explanation had a realization moment where your heart litteraly dropped
It seemed apparent that the mod was a medium to express some sort of mental illness, just not what kind.
@@lockejawwmaybe depression, primarly realization, disagree and acceptance
I caught on around the 3rd level that it was dementia or something similar. It was also a bit of a giveaway with how many times dude mentions forgetting stuff.
It was literally the second level when I called it
It was obvious early on, especially when he kept using the word "forget" multiple times. But I was already familiar with the Caretaker album, so this concept was easy to spot.
Yeah, an epilepsy warning would have been helpful for those who needed it.
I don't have epilepsy, and I was starting to develop it by around 18:15, holy cripe.
Otherwise, I've never grown up with DOOM (and still have yet to play one of any kind), but seeing mods like this that personifies the idea of dementia seems fascinating.
Credit to the creator for personifying the concept into something like a horror mod.
And seeing that youropinionsarewrong themselves commented to it, I'd say it's certainly got attention!
BRUH those subtle little changes in E1M2 are SO unsettling. I know most of the first Doom like the back of my hand. Like...I know most of it like most people know E1M1. I casually know deep secrets and do them as part of normal gameplay(not special, i know, but I gotta make a point here) so...running through the epilepsy maze and it's just....*not right*. That creeped me out just watching.
I love this. It's like....cursed Doom. It makes me feel the same way that cursed gun images make my gunnut son feel xD
A WAD that taught a medical lesson. I can appreciate this. Even if it was bone chilling and terrifying.
Doom before : "you're a very special shootboy who shoots things"
Doom now : "oh I get it, it's about depression"
who doesnt agree
he just like me for real for real
Well, the new Doom games are indeed about the most special shootboy, much more special than he ever was before.
Now I can't unsee the depressed side to it
This was a really, really amazing wad. It's up there with myhouse and rootpain. Thanks for covering these, Midnight! Also just as a side note, on E1M3 in the room with the secret wall leading to the soul sphere, the other secret wall that you mentioned shouldn't exist actually does and has always existed in '93 Doom. It contains an early rocket launcher, combat armor, a backpack, and the switch that makes the bridge appear in front of the starting position that leads to the secret level! :)
Yeah, the linedef you cross to lower the Soul Sphere secret also lowers that other secret, so you have a choice - but you can also run from one to the other if you're fast enough.
As soon as he said the some parts of the game were forgotten I immediately knew what the WAD was about. As someone who has never experienced it, I can only imagine how terrifying it could be for yourself or a loved one to go though something like that.
I'm not going to lie. I know that doomguy didn't have dementia in the games, but this really is scary. And I agree. Sadly, there is no cure for dementia. And because there is no cure, it is very depressing and dark that nobody can defeat it. Dementia was diagnosed in only one member of my family and that was my grandmother. Sadly she passed away from it. I certainly miss her but I've got my entire life ahead of me. And what truly matters is my girlfriend and I. And this will pave a road for the future. As much as she and I love each other, I know she and I will get along greatly. Bless all of you.
Dementia/Alzheimer's is the my deepest greatest fear so for me, this WAD was beyond terrifying
21:35 the amount of anxiety that black door stimulates on you is simply daunting... I got shivers all over my body through the entire walk
Before the WAD's reveal near the end, I knew what it was about by the third level because of one of the WAD's inspirations, Everywhere at the end of time, which Nexpo talked about a few years ago and it has stuck with me ever since, this mod is harrowingly accurate to that album. One of the few things I can pride myself about is my good memory (for better or worse) and just the thought of it crumbling and not making heads or tails of anything anymore scares the crap out of me.
it reminds me of an album by caretaker: everywhere at the end of time.
Doomentia 💀💀💀💀
"its almost like we.... **FORGOT** or something..."
Tipping your hand a little top hard.
i like how doom guy is constantly either 🤨 or 😠 at looking at the most mind bending doom WAD ever
Bro can be in a haunted asylum and the lights suddenly shut off with screaming in the background and he will be like "wtf turn the lights on"
I mean it is pretty canonically accurate to how Doomguy would react to witnessing the horrors.
🤨 🤨 😠 🤨 🤨 😠 🤨 🤨 😠. Sleep. Repeat
Horror that can manage to scare you without the use of jumpscares (because let's face it they are lazy and cheap) is something special.
Its amazing how the Doom game has turned into more than just a FPS. These mods turn it into art medium, like a painting on a canvas. Its beautiful in a way that something like OG doom can have a emotional/profound effect on you. Its transcended what it originally was imo.
Reading the title "The thing you can't defeat" and the whole thing being about forgetting things, it was easy to assume the title was referring to dementia/alzheimer's even before the big reveal. I spent about 3/4th's of the video thinking "It's gonna be alzheimer's, It's gonna be alzheimer's, It's gonna be alzheimer's".
Our own mind can create demons way scarier then real ones.
Damn, that was deep Midnight! Thanks for sharing the experience and bringing some awareness to this disease! Alzheimer's is a terrible disease that sucks for everyone involved.
It’s a disease I won’t even wish to my mortal enemies.
it feels so depressing being alone in e1m1 with nothing
Its a surreal experience ngl
Tbh, if we talk about the story in this time, doomguy would be either confused or happy that probably someone else killed the demons, or as in this mod it's just his dementia.
Its Doomguy's final clear memory before he dies , he can't remember anything that is happening ,the only last thing he remembers is the place in the past where it all begin and where it all has to end......
I now understand what happened to my grandad 😭😭 i went to go see him and he didn't remember me at first but when I was leaving he remembered me and then passed away a few hours later...... This video has actually put me In tears but I'm glad it shows what can happen and it's made me understand thank you so much for playing this ❤
“I found the jello keycard to open the jello door” his accident brightens my day.
I LOVE this kind of horror.
I loved it in early back rooms concept(before internet children and their creators ruined it) i love it in SCP, that instead of going BIG MONSTER SCARY, is fucking with your mind, presenting you ideas beyond your comprehension, that give your brain enough information to be acknowledge as "potencial danger" and "scary" but not enough for you to understand it fully and give hope for developing counter measures.
i knew it was going to go this way. i'm glad it didnt go totally overboard or integrate anything from the album, but was just inspired.
great map, great video!
From the start I knew it had to do with dementia and I feel proud that I guessed that but also damn is dementia terrifying and this mod did a good job in the transitioning through stages
"What is the thing we can't defeat?"
TH-cam advertising: "Two whopper Jrs. for just $5!"
That would be a good deal if bk didn’t squeeze their burgers through a 10 ton gigapress.
lol i haven't played that game in decades but i knew that button was in the wrong place straight away
All these Doom horror maps have been popping off lately, first MyHouse.WAD, now this one..the resurgence of Doom WADs is honestly crazy.
Also I just realized, if any of you have read the Godzilla NES Creepypasta, you'd realize that this wad is kind of like that, first starts of normal but with minor changes, and slowly but surely would change more and more to the point it would feel as if it's a totally different game
I don't understand the significanceof the red monster, why didn't Godzilla "body" it? That's A TGO reference btw.
@@Grey_World1 it's kinda like a evil spirit trying to torture the protagonist so yeah he has the role of the torturer villain
@@Grey_World1 because it's that powerful. it took every kaiju the protagonist could use, every ounce of focus he had, and an outright deus ex machina to actually take it on by the end
@@uncroppedsoop You say that, but there's no fight in the Creepy Pasta. What am I missing?
@@Grey_World1 there definitely is. towards the very end there's a final confrontation with Red, which Zach describes as being (in my own words) brutally unfair and infuriating
This reminds me of batman's hallucinations in arkham knight and how it changed the layout of some rooms
It brings up Spec Ops: the Line for me A game that evokes mixed emotions. From both A game design perspective, and the gameplay.
"uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh I'm forgetting thiiiiings"
Yes, really scary.
Dude, thanks for making this video, I love when you say something in spanish, makes the tension go away
Having lost my mother to dementia just a few weeks ago, this hits somehow intensely ...
This mod is very unique. I would recommend everywhere at the end of time. It’s my favourite album. This is also a great representation of dementia much like everywhere at the end of time
doom's 🤨 and 😠 face is very accurate to the feelings of people who played through the initial stages of this wad, not gonna lie
but honestly, doom being a medium to showcase dementia is a cool concept and was executed very well
12:00
Somehow scared the hell out of me but your reaction got me cackling 💀
Dude I love your channel. I just found it last week and can already tell that you’ve got so much potential to grow. I can’t wait to see it. Love you 😘
the most creepy and abnormal is the fact that while we go for Yellow card and goin' back to the Yellow door, we hear only the sounds of the Doomguy's breathing (we hear it, right?) and then we go through a completely empty base without any enemies, in which it seems that there is no one at all, except for Marine, and there is no one left. Nobody at all....
The other secret room in E1M3 does exist in the original doom, you get the rocket launcher there, but in the original it's toxic waste that surrounds it, not lava.
You also forget the last secret on E1M1. If you take the elevator in the lowered tower and go through, you’ll notice a gray wall on the right.
Which is then corrected at the end of the wad during E1M7.
The mod is a pretty accurate metaphorical example of how gaslighting works. You know how something is supposed to be, you know that the exit is on the right side, but there's these subtle "lies", the mod is gaslighting you, making you question your reality.
Who's gaslighting him, the demons?
When you said "no me hagan caso por favor" right there I got disturbed as hell so I had to rewind to see if it was not my imagination 😂 not really but I had to look the info tab on your channel to realize you are from Mexico 😊
What a sad metaphor. Amazing how such an outlandish vehicle like Doom can be so effective to make this relatable. Very smart idea.
My father also fought with this. Thankfully, one wants to say, he left us for other health reasons before this devastating sickness could completely destroy his memory.
So I got the priviledge of my father still being very much himself, making sarcastic jokes like "my memory isn't bad, it's just very picky" about himself. The same guy I always loved, just forgot a lot of things - but hadn't yet forgotten how to throw charm and humour at the issue in a way that made it less serious.
I will be forever thankful for that, and truth be told, wish for myself that one day the order of events that start taking me out follows a similar grace saving sequence (unfortunately such health issues are often repeated by following generations) so that my daughters get to remember me while being at least a passable version of actual me as well.
.... Didn't exactly expect to end at this place after watching a video about a doom mod.
Thanks for this.
SPOILER ALERT:
I literally said to myself about seven minutes in "This is about Dementia, isn't it?" And I was dead on. I recognized this, because I saw a Friday Night Funkin' mod that covered a similar subject, and my late grandmother also had Vascular Dementia, so it clicked for me pretty quickly. Props to the author for a fairly accurate depiction of what I can only imagine it being like.
Everywhere at the end of the funk right?
This wad is like an actual horror title.... fearing the unknown. That gray wall closing in on you was amazing
I'm kind of rolling my eyes at the overly dramatic presentation of being surprised that things being different than expected is creepy after having deliberately downloaded a modified Doom where that's the blatant expectation.
I think it was a little heavy-handed to overtly narrate that you "CAN'T REMEMBER" thing that you're playing for the first time like "this is CUH-RAZY!" since it somewhat deflates the reveal of the premise somewhat.
I'm more so watching because I'm interested in the content of the mod then the reaction of it. I do have to thank you for sharing it though because I'd have not ever seen this otherwise. It's extremely interesting and pretty neatly executed as a concept. The Doom community is a pretty special place.
This map wad is simply masterful. It goes from the demons being Doom guy's worst threat... to no demons in the last three levels as he becomes his own worst threat.
The wildest thing about this mod is the inclusion of the "Jello Door".
Damn. I sat there thinking "This really reminds me of The Caretaker's EATEOT" before finally the post revealed that it was indeed an inspiration.
Also, it reminds me a bit of KittyHorrorShow's indie game "Anatomy", which also involves a slowly-decaying game map.
It is such a fascinating and frightening theme.
if I get baited into watching 30 minutes of a creepy doom wad just to find out its a metaphor for the meaning of life and a portrayal of someone desperately trying to cope with their lack of a reason to exist again I'm going to be seriously disappointed *cough myhouse*
I have a Grandfather in the early stages of Alzheimer’s so this hit pretty hard for me. Didn’t know about some of these things so it was actually quite informative.
Whoa, I played the ultimate Doom before as a kid, and I remembered the switch inside the exit being on the right. Not the left. That's what I noticed that was different and strange.
I’ll be honest, I smoked too much before watching this one. The ever-changing hallways gave me serious anxiety. 10/10 video.
Well there's your mistake right there
You went through the Jell-O door
I'm glad someone picked up on that lol 😂
Find it so awesome I was able to pick up on the main inspiration being everywhere at the end of time just through the way the maps designed, especially the ending of it having you start from the beginning again into nothingness to represent the final stage, neat stuff
"Where am I supposed to go?"
The walls become plastered with the exit door texture.
Commented on other playthroughs of this, didn't realize you featured it too (though, I guess it makes sense). Extremely depressing manifestation of a disease that can hit everyone. What I approved of in particular is showcasing paradoxical lucidity: this is one of the most bizarre mental health phenomena we've yet to explain. From a scientific point of view it's comparable to an adrenaline rush and inhuman strength, but what makes this theory loose is the fact that the involved neuronal pathways should no longer exist. Whilst theoretically possible it all still exists but cannot be accessed regularly might be a plausible theory, but then it's still the question as to when exactly it occurs. As for some death follows immediately, for others days or even weeks. Powerful stuff for a DOOM wad, personally in my top three of the recent years.
6 minutes into the vid, and from the wall textures being turned gray and the map being twisted I'm willing to bet this is gonna be a dementia themed depressiontrain
It's funny how comforting it is to actually come across enemies in these kind of maps when the levels themselves are far, far more disturbing.
It's something you can actually fight. The monster in front of you is always less scary than the monster you can hear but not see.