Hello Aluxers, have you gone through a divorce yourself? Mind Mastery: www.alux.com/mindmastery Get a free audiobook thanks to Audible: www.alux.com/freebook
Being financially dependent on someone is the number 1 cause for divorce, separation. Nobody wants to support a rude grown ass man and give his ******* *** money.
Obesity is the #1 reason BY FAR. Couples are fucking because their partners are tubs is shit. No sex/attraction is the main killer of all relationships. Look at obesity stats and divorce rates since the 1970 almost lock step.
"Ego is playing a big part in this, and we are not just talking about men here." Omg thank you! I was afraid I was about to hear some "yes, it's all men's fault. Women have always been blameless" kind of thing. Thank you for keeping it real Alux.
I am recently divorced in CA and after the experience I don’t think I’ll be entering another relationship. Starting all over to lose it all again is not something I want to do. So the next chapter of my life is learning to love myself and take care of myself the best I can.
At least other men can learn from your experience. The odds are against marriage, and divorce is a huge financial risk for all men. Good luck going forward!
Absolutely, men are not stupid-men are not getting married because of divorce. Marriage rates will stay at historic low rates because no fault divorce means money and prizes for women. Smart and successful men will not marry.
"Marriage is 100% of the reason behind divorce". Agreed, so, to avoid this, people are just "shacking up", or living "Common Law", but this scenario got co-opted legally, to be virtually equivalent to marriage anyway. Also, remember, divorce is BIG business. "Marriage", is, and always has been a financial contract, first and foremost, which is why so much money is spent on, the wedding and fought over, in divorces. "Love", is irrelevant. So, basically, only way to avoid the threat of "divorce", is to be truly alone, which is why more, and more men, are doing just that, avoiding relations with women, all together, and going their own way. "The juice isn't worth the squeeze", as they say.
@@everetteborr 100% True! Every guy that has burned and wants to prevent other men going through the same thing need to read the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. This book explains a lot about female nature and male nature. If you moralize any of it, you have already missed the point. It's like calling the law of gravity subjectively good or evil, when it's just a law, it's just is what it is!
@@diplomat2623 We all have sinned lied, lusted, disrespected parents, stolen etc Therefore none of us are good and able to get into Heaven. But God out of His love sent his son Jesus (also God in Human flesh) to die on the cross for our sins and rise again from the dead (nobody can do that only God). Jesus said if you Repent of your sins and put your complete trust in Him for your salvation, you’ll have eternal life, given to you as a free gift. John 14: 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
But you need to know when you should give up. I have seen women beaten for 20 years, just because he has emotional issues you can't help him with. On lady finally got out and quickly found a good guy who had to undo a bunch of evil things that she had come to think were normal.
Hidden emotional damage due to physical and psychological abuse from family of origin; prior sexual abuse; Covert or overt narcissism; emotional manipulation and gaslighting; strongly divergent values, goals, imperatives; incompatible personalities; hubris, fear of abandonment, submission to conformity; lack of self awareness and empathy; excessive agreeableness; lack of ability to resolve conflicts immaturity-These are some of the ticking time ⏰️ bombs that self destruct a marriage. C. Howard
I grew up in a fairly poor farm town to a lower middle class family... I got an education through the Navy and built a successful career... On that journey, I met my wife, also from a poor farming community. We had 3 kids, I got more successful and that's when she put on the brakes! She hooked up with a guy who for all intents and purposes was going no where. Walked away from me and the kids. In less than 2 weeks after our divorce, she married him and they've been married over 20 years... One time I ask her, "Why would you choose him?" She replied, "Because he shares his dreams with me!" I said, "I shared my dreams!" Her retort... "Yah but then you'd make them come true!" I realize that our incompatibility is she was still a small town girl. She wanted to sit in a bar and talk about life and what could be. The fact I was making things happen was intolerable to her. I don't hold it against her (well, yah, the cheating), some people don't want to leave the small life and will fight with everything they have to get back to that sense of safety!
@@everetteborr he really wasn't the "bad boy" loser, just a loser and personal bias aside, he was a pussy (still is, even physically abused my kids)... No, my point was she wanted someone who wouldn't challenge her to grow and he was her guy. Because I was working so hard to put my old life behind me, it put huge demands on her she couldn't, well didn't want to, handle! And I'll be fair, it hasn't been an easy road, can't blame her for not wanting to come along.
Business Outside The Lines - w/Chuck Peavey I am not sure that you understand how kind and generous you are being to him. By any reasonable standard, if he physically abused your children, he was a bad boy loser. I am sure that your struggles were hard, great success is a great struggle. Again, by your own words, you are implying that he did not do much. Anyway, as you know, desire cannot be negotiated so she had to find the tingles with her loser. You were lucky to escape, but your children were not so lucky. Wishing you and your children the best going forward.
@@everetteborr agreed, it was hard on my kids... I had them most of their lives, she only had them for about 3 years but that was enough... I guess you're right about the "bad boy" thing. I always thought of "bad boy" as someone who acts out of arrogance, more of an Alpha. This guy was never an Alpha. And as for generous... He spent years of his life with her, he did me a favor taking her away!
You're Asian so you have a lot of traditional values bestow on you because of your culture and your upbringing. A lot of Americans typically have a "Take" mentality rather than a "Give".
I am currently separated and we may be heading to divorce and one of the three major issues was, 1. infidelity which began when I was pregnant and it resulted in the lady calling me a few months before we got married that she was pregnant. 2. his families over-involvement in our marriage heavily influencing our home decisions. 3. Money issues I ended up paying most of the bills or getting financial aid from my family.
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Mental illness can make people get a divorce too. Marriages where someone has bipolar/ borderline personality disorder or schizophrenia tend to be a lot more difficult to maintain because of the disorder/(s), so many people just end up getting divorced due to that. 95% of marriages where someone has bipolar, for example, apparently end up not working out.
@W Dade Jenkins I have a mild case Asperger's and can definitely relate to that. I probably have a bunch of other mental health issues. Bipolar 1, ultra rapid cycling, psychotic, mixed and (possibly) catatonic features, and severe symptoms being the main one. I have manic episodes that last 2 weeks and then I'm stable for a week, and then I'll have another (probably manic) episode again.😵
I see a huge trend about the way couples work. It's all about sex first, then get to know each other several months or years later if the relationship last by just for sex only.
Been married 41 years to the same woman. The first 7 years were a nightmare. The last 34 have been sweet. Maybe like slowly saving money for retirement. I guess we invested 7 years of toil in our marriage to reap happiness the rest of your lives. The glue that held us together was our Christian faith. I am what many would call an Alpha male who keeps his zipper up. My wife is a Proverbs 31 woman. She is still my Sweetie.
@@KitaTaki-mk3gt Sorry I'm slow to respond. We just got back from a road trip. Actually, that surprises me. I guess I just figured if you made it through the marriage character adjust period, things would get better for most. I also wonder if generational and faith issues might play a part also. Your point is well-taken though. Thanks.
Well, the 7 year itch is a well known phenomenon … Also, many people “settle” after some time for “ a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness” . But of course there are exceptions. I’m happy for you that you’re one of them
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Love is not blind, ppl are, letting your feelings control you instead of logic leads to blindness. To blame your ignorance and faults on a human construct is just dumb.
I filed for divorce after I finally outgrew the need to put up with my husband's abusiveness. My vows said Till death do you part, but I decided to draw the line at my death being at his hands.
You go girl, and make a long list of requirements for any future husband, if you want one, because you don’t want to repeat “your” mistakes in marrying him.
I never dreamed of getting married and never imagined myself having kids. Its sad how society sees this as a taboo, and people who get marry or have kids just to solve their relationship problems are on their way to failing.
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death. I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner is. Also, you would more likely be much closer to a person who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a partner or spouse. People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
@@rudigruenberg6591 There are a lot of toxic romantic relationships, while there isn't that many toxic platonic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships, while abuse is rare in platonic relationships. So there is a lot of abusive romantic relationships, while there is isn't that many abusive platonic relationships. Why do you think abusive romantic relationships have a term for them called "domestic violence", while abusive platonic relationships don't have a term for them? It's because abuse in platonic relationships are very rare, while abuse in romantic relationships happens a lot. And also, a lot of people cheat on their romantic partners with someone else, while most people won't do stuff like that with their platonic best friends. Also, I heard that most people can live a life without romance and can still be happy. But most of the time, if someone doesn't have any platonic friends in their life, it can effect them really bad mentally; much worse than living a life without a romantic partner. In today's world, less people are dating and getting married now, and they seem to be more happy being single rather than being in romantic relationship with someone. Also, you're going to have a much deeper spoken understanding and connection with your best friend than you are with a romantic partner or spouse.
@@icysnow57cold64 that is not true for everyone who cannot be happy without an SO i still believe romantic relationships can also be deeper as well your just tried and makimg excuses
Platonic relationships and romantic relationships may be two entirely different things, but that doesn't mean they are equal when it comes to the amount of love given in them. The love in platonic relationships seems to be way stronger than the love in romantic relationships are since platonic relationships are not fragile like romantic relationships are. Also, platonic relationships also seem to be a lot more intimate and comfortable than romantic relationships are. Platonic love is one of the most purest forms of love there is, while romantic love is one of the least purest forms of love there is. Most people seem to be a lot more comfortable around their platonic best friends than they are around their romantic partners or spouses. A platonic best friend is one of the best things you could ever have. A platonic best friend can be someone you trust the most, and they can be your confidant and coach. People tend to trust their platonic best friends more than their romantic partners, and that's a fact. The concept of romantic love and romantic relationships seems to mostly be a man-made thing.
1. Gender Equality 0:50 2. Money, Sex, Status, Biological Clock 1:18 3. Your partner is a mama's boy 2:25 4. Couples stop trying 3:09 5. Mo Money, Big Problems 3:58 6. True colors are revealed when the doors are closed 4:53 7. You've lost your own identity 5:50 8. Have a baby / don't have a baby 6:24 9. Your life goals are not in sync 7:08 10. Your definition of happiness is completely different 7:53 11. You think marriage is a band-aid for a broken relationship 8:47 12. "Grey Divorce" is on the rise 9:44 13. Finger pointing, the blame game, and taking zero responsibility 10:27 14. Communication is dead 11:03 15. Voting the wrong presidential candidate 11:47 th-cam.com/video/MXp9amsiMyY/w-d-xo.html
If you like at the time bar in the video, you can see that there are many chapters. This is because the video created put all the time stamps in the description.
A G if that's what you think is the right candidate, that says a lot about how masculine/feminine you really are. Conservative men are the only who don't have to worry about #1. Liberals on the other hand…
Number 11 issa fact peroid!! Too many ppl out there want to enter relationships or marriage when they are already damaged or destroyed from another one without even thinking to settle down or give it a break 🗣🗣
ny husband said my mom (88 years old) couldn't come and stay with us. When I went back to our home state to check on her and try and get things in order for her, he sent me divorce papers stating irretrievably broken as the reason. I didn't even know he was thinking about a divorce. I took care of his grandmother after he moved her in with us and I was in my 20's!!! That was in the early 90's.
They are : Infidelity. Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce. ... Money. Money makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it's true. ... Lack of communication. ... Constant arguing. ... Weight gain. ... Unrealistic expectations. ... Lack of intimacy. ... Lack of equality.
Infidelity is a symptom of the problem. Infidelity for the most part falls under the category of betrayal and is thereby a byproduct of Self-Hatred. If a partner has committed infidelity, the truth of the matter is the marriage was over long ago.
AS A FAMILY LAWYER, I CAN VERIFIED THAT ALL OF THE REASONS LISTED ARE TRUE, WHAT'S REALLY SAD, IT'S THAT THE KIDS ARE ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE OF ENDLESS BATTLES AND THE MAJORITY OF COUPLES USE THEM TO GET BACK AT EACH OTHER.
Sad, but unfortunately true. I can understand why marriage rates are at an historic low rate. Men see too many risks in marriage for themselves and future children.
@@lonzarellibellamy1904 it's anecdotal, emperical data shows people who lived together before marriage divorced at higher rates than the ones who did not. Of course the conclusion can't be specific from the data but there's a video of Dr peterson explaining why that could be harmful. 15 years of marriage is irrelevant.
@@lonzarellibellamy1904 I did not say that, I'm simply comparing anecdotal evidence to emperical evidence. Just because it worked for him doesn't mean it will work for everyone eles and the data supports that.
Literally having the hundredth conversion with my husband that he doesn’t communicate, 7 years together 5 years married. And this video pops up 🆙 we had a good laugh 😂
I respect people who get married. I understand that it does work for some. What I don't understand is why we single people still get bashed for not getting married! Let us live our lives and respect our decisions! It shouldn't be looked down upon to be single because no one should be pressured into getting married. That is probably why there is so much divorces!
Thank god I wasn't born in liberal or moderate society or else I would have end up in orphanage..... Only conservatives and traditional people had successful marriage life, and I'm born from conservative family and now I'm well settled thanks to my greatest parents in the world who brought me up and they're still happy together. Even my grand parents still exist.
True. I feel bad for children born in the west. 40% of children in Newyork don't know their fathers, thats like not nowing half of their family. My parents fight all the time but never divorced for us children because we live in a consevative society.
@@ehtishamamin5601 I do too. I'm lucky that I'm a western person who has both parents marries. I wish more people would grow up and be honest with their partners
Truth be told, marriages in conservative families appears to be successful because for them divorce is not a solution its a taboo, women there are mostly uneducated or unemployable so if they leave their husband they can't survive, it just looks good on a surface but as my observation goes its a 50-50 chance.
@@Alvin-xs7db over 80% of divorces are filed by women because 1. It's easier to find a new one in this day and age. 2. Women don't suffer any consequence of divorce. 3. Lawyers generally take 1/3rd of the divorce settlements so it's the best and easiest way to make money.
You can stay in a committed relationship without marriage, marriage makes literally no sense. Why would you lock yourself into a contract for no reason?
The highest the divorce rate has ever been in American history is 34%. Edit: The entire video as a whole is good. I do want to point out, the number 1 reason couples get divorced: Hygiene issues. A close second is Money issues. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist that primarily works with couples and run into issues surrounding divorce quite often.
@@cletokings4302 In my clinical work, I have found this to be the case. Hygiene is a broad term as well. A partner that doesn't clean dishes and lets them get moldy is considered less hygienic than a partner that cleans the dishes. What it boils down to in my opinion: many partners enjoy cleanliness for their own mental health. When this is taken for granted, the more hygienic partner can feel as if they are being taken for granted.
Ehtisham Amin it’s a type of traditional American humor. It simply follows on with the logical extension of the initial thought. It’s a way to poke fun at the initial proposition.
I just turned 39 this year, not married and don't have kids. I'm happy because I get to do what I want. Come and go as I please. I have friends who are not happy in their marriages. At times, they hate coming home. Why spend so much money on a wedding just to throw away the marriage later. A waste of time for both and money.
@@EpicDrew15 No it doesn't GENIUS! There is no logic in your views. What it really looks like by what you saying is "Just BELIEVE that its good and it will be".
@DS No. What he meant was the institution its self was created to ensure the new born children of society a safe and secure environment. There is logical in his point you just don't know what marriage actually is so its difficult for you to come to a conclusion.
@@EpicDrew15 See the mistake you made is that getting married in a court. It's still a legal binding contract. You could have had the traditional marriage but no legal contracts involved. You still would announce it your friends, family, etc. The true test would be between you, her and God. The true test of your marriage relationship and trust is if one of you cheats or not! If so then the marriage meant nothing and was just a show for everyone and you shouldn't have made a big spectacle out of it in the first place!
Another reason for divorce is people not working on themselves. We need to start digging within and asking ourselves questions. Many people don’t even k ow how to be alone, jumping from relationship to relationship. Not knowing that a partner should be adding to you happiness.
Modern culture taught us misconceptions about marriage. But it is really a binding contract between two biological entities based upon the balance of different inputs from them and meeting ones needs.
FOR MARRIED PEOPLE: The feeling that you get in an affair can NEVER be love. Love comes from God, the same God who designed marriage and commanded us to honor it. I truly believe that God will not contradict Himself and put love in your heart for someone else other than your spouse. The feeling you have for the other person can be LUST, INFATUATION, OBSESSION, A SOURCE OF VALIDATION, AN EGO BOOSTER, A FORM OF ESCAPE or any other feeling that satan will USE to destroy your marriage (and push you to commit a SIN by breaking the VOW that you made before God). The devil will make you believe that what you feel for this other person is love when in fact it really ISN'T. That's what satan does. That's the reason he's called a LIAR and a DESTROYER. INFIDELITY has a very destructive impact on people, and can be PASSED DOWN from generation to generation like a CURSE. The devil has VIOLATED so many marriages; has TORN so many families apart; has RUINED so many lives. Don't let that monster proudly look at your OWN FAMILY and boast that he has successfully DESTROYED it too. "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:6)
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My aunt's 23 years of marriage came to a painful end coz my uncle was abusive and always tortured her like hell moreover he was too conservative in his thoughts and actions,even the kids weren't spared. She remarried in her forties two years ago and she has found the peace and happiness she truly deserved,thanks to my two cousins who have supported their mum and gave her the permission to remarry,it surely wouldn't have been possible without them 💞
No one ever believed in that. What you really mean is sickness and health if the man is sick, forsaking all others is also only for women. For richer for poorer but that one might be if a man gets broke.
There are so many people that are narcissistic, adulterous, promiscuous cheaters pretending to be wholesome, normal people that are destroying marriages, families, etc..
@@EpicDrew15 few relationship that last longer is a sad case of how quick we want get out instead of fixing it. Our generation is treating marriage like broken smartphone.
Just because marriage can end in sadness and loss of money doesn’t mean a happy life of love with someone isn’t worth enduring some struggle. Sorry you had a bitter experience honey but not all marriages are unhappy!!
@@memesterchickenugg7375 Money is the number 1 cause of marriage issues. Losing money in a divorce will affect all other relationships. Alimony/palimony/child support is no joke.
When they each vote for the other party, that is showing where their true values lie. You can tell a lot about who a person is truly and their values and thoughts by who they vote for.
@@ehtishamamin5601 That is true. If you wait until after you’re married to find out what kind of person they are/will vote for, it will be too late.
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Believe it or not friendships and family relationships have been irreparably severed because of the last election. Guess what? The same thing, to a higher degree is going to happen this year too.
Being single is a damn lifesaver. Especially nowadays, with folks acting more like narcissist pricks. One of my friends is in the midst of a divorce, claims her husband has done some crazy shit to her yet he blames it on mental illness. Thank goodness they have 0 children, it's worse when a child(ren) are involved.
@@recabitejehonadab2654 agreed, but I think that someone’s willingness to put policies that govern society over personal discussions about how you treat their spouse and family may be a clear indicator of which side they lean
I love this channel. It’s like free therapy and a college course all in one. Can you please make a video on successful creative types? I’m trying to get back into writing and don’t know what to do. Of course knowing this channel the advice you’re going to give is “just write already” lol
Back in the day when marriage was invented people used to live about 30 years on average . So being married forever wasn't a big problem when that "forever" was so short
I literally got married Saturday after going through a nasty divorce three years ago. I can tell you pretty much all of the things listed happened for the first marriage and none hold true for second after knowing her for two years now. For those getting a divorce, there is always hope.
Jeremy Bertrand it’s called over confidence because you think you are the exception. You cannot predict your future with such little data. “The numbers are for suckers”, oh really? You are the type who thinks he can win in a casino.
After being married for 13 years, I’ve gotta say pick someone you actually want to grow old with and that they are equally ready to grow old with. Open communication about what you want before you get that conversation of marriage going on. Living with someone before marriage is hard to set life on. That is absolutely stupid that you would divorce because of who your spouse actually voted for.
I’m about to divorce my wife. The number 1 reason is lack of trust. At least twice per month she is hanging out with her friends until 2 am. Her friends by the way are all divorced or single women. Nothing against them but if she likes her company she may also like their way of thinking and lifestyle. I have also known that she doesn’t care much about me but when she prefers friends over me I knew I was just wasting my time. I wasted 15 years of my life with this person.
Yes, girls night out is not a good sign. We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. She probably is already having an affair. Congratulations, and best wishes going forward.
Rick Blaine not sure if she is having an affair yet but she is a beautiful women and I’m sure she could whenever she wanted to. Now that we are serious about divorce may give her the “motivation” to do it. Also when she cares to buy expensive tequila for her friends and don’t share it with me when she knows I appreciate a goo tequila let’s me know how much she cares about me😔
Cletokings there is much on this topic, girls nights out, in red pill communities. I would suggest you connect with a successful men’s red pill community if you have not already done so. You are doing the right thing by cutting your losses. Here is a quick lesson: Desire can never be negotiated. Best wishes.
I've never been married but #9 was the reason why my fiancee and I split up. It was identical to what you describe even down to the part of the camper. He was the one who wanted to live in a camper (it seemed eerily similar to what you described 😂) and I was the one who wanted to advance in my profession. That's the day I actually realized it wasn't going to work. 😐
Marrying means staying togheter through the good, *and* the bad moment. The key to a marriage is communication, never hide something and always talk. That's how you stay loving and that's how you keep the spark BRIGHT
I wonder what the divorce rate would be if you didn't get money when you divorced someone, and each spouse had to pay 50/50 of the child expenses after divorce.
They did this because back than marriage last until death because people died earlier and women couldn’t divorce or have rights. Anyways it was men fault for making marriage as a money ticket for both partner just in case the husband died
Right now I'm 18, barely starting my life, I know, but during high school many girls liked me and I liked them back, but none of them ever made feel enough to take a chance with them, but all the time there was another girl, she liked me from the moment she first saw me but I didn't, she was my best friend for 2 years, them my special person, and finally my girlfriend, right now we have 1 and half year dating and I haven't been able to stop thinking about marrying her from the moment we started, I know am too young, but I think I'm one of those lucky ones, and some day, I will make my wife, and the best part? She already knows it, and has made really clear she's in, for life
Those who had to divorced are extremely insincere in that they couldn't keep their marital vows and also showed extreme stupidity and idiocy to have married their bad spouses in the first place.
When you find a partner, be sure to : -Know his/her life goal. -Know how he/she define happiness. -Know his/her flaws and and the compromises to deal with in the future. -Consider the lifestyle. -Know how mature he/she is in understanding that marriage isnt just about loving. -Like him/her without paying attention to physical attractiveness. -Know whether he/she want a child. -Be honest and open to him/her. Dont pretend to be nicer. The less both sides pretend, the sooner both sides get to know each other. -Know why you want to get married and understand that marriage isnt just about the happy things. -Understand that marriage is a teamwork from both sides. -Analyze his/her ego. -Not to rush the relationship. Take your time to decide. -Spend enough time to get to know with each other before getting married. -Communicate well.
You go girl, and next time, make a long list of requirements for a future husband, if you want one, so you do not repeat your mistakes in marrying him.
kevin chhuon yes, a lot of truth is being revealed in this thread. Men, be observant. Desire can never be negotiated. Do not ever marry-you can achieve everything you want without marriage.
@@EpicDrew15 It actually is. Its scientifically proven that when men pair bond with women they lose interest in other women. But when they are s*x deprived the vesopresin goes down and the man starts to show interest in other women.
I avoid momma's boys like *the pl*gue* As you guys said, to them it's perfectly normal to see their woman struggling 🙄 biggest waste of time I can think of.
When I was a kid I just couldn't understand why 2 people got married, had little money and then took out huge mortgages, had kids quickly and so struggled with money and strain the marriage constantly. We did it the other way. Got together, bought a house and paid it off THEN got married. 20 years strong next month. Are we the only people in the world that can see that our way is much better ? So many people fall into the first trap.
Actually, I think it's smart to get married first. It makes a lot of sense to pay off the house fast, though. And the problem people have is they spend too much on a wedding, too much on a house, then they have a kid or two on top of it. So, in general, I agree with you.
All these differences can also be the reason why you love the other person. Just the realization that nobody is perfect and stop expecting anything from other person. Give your 200 percent into anything you do including your relationship
If someone divorces you over a disagreement about politics - it is proof that they value their political opinions over your relationship. Who wants a partner like that anyway? I found it interesting that the example given was initiating a divorce when someone found out their spouse voted for the current US President. Isn't it interesting that the people who preach love, tolerance and diversity the loudest, usually practice what they preach the least?
Automatically assuming that someone is bad because they hold different opinions is the definition of bigotry. What makes it even sadder is that most of that traffic is from so called “progressives” who claim tolerance, towards anyone who disagrees with them!😢
that's the biggest reason they've lost their femininity and expect men to lose their masculinity . So they can have a little puppy also known as husband .
Women also tend to want everything. They want personal success, a successful husband and kids. If everybody is always working kids are going to be a burden. As women we need to learn to make choices.
What does that even mean? Men and women should all be educated, learn how to work and earn money. Both need to be able to cook, do laundry, clean the house, change the oil, etc. Both should be able to look after children. Both must be able to handle money. People must be able to fully take care of themselves for however long it is before they get married, if they even want to. After you become a couple, whoever is better at something or likes it more does that, if the man is better cooking and the wife is better with the money, go to it. You really suck as a partner if you aren't self sufficient. Spouses die, get ill, get stuck overseas during pandemics. There's an episode of "Mash" where the wife sends a box of receipts to Korea for the husband to balance the checkbook because she can't do it. That's a disgrace. I'm sure her seams were straight and lipstick perfect. Doing your own laundry doesn't make you less masculine. Changing out windshield wipers doesn't make a woman less feminine. I hope you mean something very different than that.
Communication and speaking the truth not what the other might want to hear and the reality of what type of relationship you really have( see the red flags and protect yourself from it ).
Yes, marriage is no longer mutually beneficial and that is why men don’t want to get married. Marriage rates are at an historic low rate for good reasons.
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@@michellem4163 You are not describing today. Maybe you are thinking about the 1950’s. Marriage rates are at an historic low rates today because marriage has no benefits for men.
@@michellem4163 marriage is at historically low rates in the USA. Are you totally unaware of the current environment? Marriage has no benefits for men.
1. Creating 2. False Ownership 3. Loss of attraction 4. Lack of respect 5. No longer friends It took me 5 yrs to divorce my ex-husband. Je thought he owned me & was controlled. He paid for an attorney i did it on my own. 🤓🔥
You go girl, and next time make a huge list of requirements for a husband, if you want one, so that you do not repeat YOUR mistakes in marrying your last husband.
You work for 40yrs to have $1M in your retirement, meanwhile some people are putting just $10K in crypto from just few months ago and now they are multimillionaires.. Lastly I Will Never Get Married
mysticaltyger49 no, it’s saying don’t take any “unnecessary” risks. Sorry, marriage is not a necessity for men, it is just a financial risk. That is why high status men are not marrying today.
My first marriage ended in divorce after 33 years. She wanted to marry her cousin. She never did. She passed away exactly one year to the day our divorce was final.
I wish whoever get married should stay together make effort to make it fun and exciting.if you don't have money also no problem you can sit with your spouse holding hands and image a comfortable life ..sit and talk about some vacation what you both would do when you are there in that city..how grateful you both will feel.it is never too late for anything..when a person dies we only remember there good and kind acts...try to see those good and kind acts in your partner..... marriage is not an individual issue it is a social issue....in this period we don't have guarantee for job,for life for anything, there is lot of insecurity happening around the world atleast marriage should become secure.accept a the person as they are pamper them show appreciation for them as they are...i wish everyone should be happy with there family.think 1000 times before doing marriage once married don't give second thought....i know the value of being in family because i am going through this phase.I Don't know what mistake I have done in my past life but i pray to god to forgive me and i am sorry 🙏
@Golden Gainz I been on both side of the fence yet still we find out way too late in our lives its better to love and lost then to have never loved at all.
@Golden Gainz Love is being open and vulnerable because love is our true identity underneath it all.. a friend, family and even pets can betray you.. my cousin had to put his dog down because he attacked his 3yr scared his face for life and he loved that dog to death. Friends and family double cross each other everyday it can always go sour.. thats what gives love its validity theres a beautiful risk involved at all times.. Being happy is the individuals responsibility, when we place that weight on our wives and husbands it leads to unessessary exess of pain and divorces imo
1. Gender Equality 2. Money Sex Status Biological Clock 3. Your partner is a mama's boy 4. Couples stop trying 5. Mo money big problems 6. True colors are revealed when doors are closed 7. You've lost your own identity 8. To have a baby or to not have a baby 9. Your life goals are not in sync 10. Your definition of happiness is completely different 11. You think marriage is a bandaid for an already broken relationship 12. Grey divorce is on the rise 13. Finger pointing, the blame game and taking zero responsibility 14. Communication is dead 15. Voting for the wrong presidential candidate
Believing you can enter into marriage, elicit promises of security, fidelity and dedicated caring and love form your partner - then decide you don't "feel" it any more and start changing the agreement to suit your emotion of the moment instead of what is needed to make the marriage work.
Hello Aluxers, have you gone through a divorce yourself?
Mind Mastery: www.alux.com/mindmastery
Get a free audiobook thanks to Audible: www.alux.com/freebook
Yes! Never again will I get married. The juice isn't worth the squeeze.
Marriage is the number one cause for divorce 🤣
Step-dad tried to kill my mom in the divorce (I was 17) for money and the house. It's ironic how much people take for granted...
4:59
Being financially dependent on someone is the number 1 cause for divorce, separation. Nobody wants to support a rude grown ass man and give his ******* *** money.
#1 reason for divorce.
People want their needs met, but don’t want to put in the work required to meet their partners.
@Thanos Mighty What's your point?
I agree
This is so sad , when you remember their wedding parties and white dress of the brides ...then ending 50% in divorce
They don't understand that marriage is a team work
Obesity is the #1 reason BY FAR. Couples are fucking because their partners are tubs is shit. No sex/attraction is the main killer of all relationships. Look at obesity stats and divorce rates since the 1970 almost lock step.
"Ego is playing a big part in this, and we are not just talking about men here." Omg thank you! I was afraid I was about to hear some "yes, it's all men's fault. Women have always been blameless" kind of thing. Thank you for keeping it real Alux.
the pre-fucking-sumption that it's always (been) men. disgusting
Alux is always real
I fucking loved this video right from the start because of pointing out reason number one, feminism.
@@particleconfig.8935 you just haven't met the right man yet
@@Matt-d2l You're right, man
I am recently divorced in CA and after the experience I don’t think I’ll be entering another relationship. Starting all over to lose it all again is not something I want to do. So the next chapter of my life is learning to love myself and take care of myself the best I can.
At least other men can learn from your experience.
The odds are against marriage, and divorce is a huge financial risk for all men.
Good luck going forward!
Getting married in CA was your first mistake. Getting married here is always just a horrible deal for the guy
If you are a man look up something called MGTOW on youtube, google and reddit. Thank me later.
That's bc you lived in California.... It's one of the worst states when it comes to marriage laws
@@youtubeuser1466 worked out great for me
Marriage is 100% of the reason behind divorce
.... creating and unhappy people, cats and dogs don't get married, yet are happy with kittens and puppies.
@@samaeldrigel5811 I have never heard truer words
Absolutely, men are not stupid-men are not getting married because of divorce.
Marriage rates will stay at historic low rates because no fault divorce means money and prizes for women.
Smart and successful men will not marry.
"Marriage is 100% of the reason behind divorce". Agreed, so, to avoid this, people are just "shacking up", or living "Common Law", but this scenario got co-opted legally, to be virtually equivalent to marriage anyway. Also, remember, divorce is BIG business. "Marriage", is, and always has been a financial contract, first and foremost, which is why so much money is spent on, the wedding and fought over, in divorces. "Love", is irrelevant. So, basically, only way to avoid the threat of "divorce", is to be truly alone, which is why more, and more men, are doing just that, avoiding relations with women, all together, and going their own way. "The juice isn't worth the squeeze", as they say.
@@everetteborr 100% True! Every guy that has burned and wants to prevent other men going through the same thing need to read the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. This book explains a lot about female nature and male nature. If you moralize any of it, you have already missed the point. It's like calling the law of gravity subjectively good or evil, when it's just a law, it's just is what it is!
Maybe because people get married after knowing the other person for a couple of weeks or months 😒
3 months
DS absolutely!
You are correct, I see this dumb stuff happening when I meet people.
blamcheese Yeah it always surprises me 😅
@@MapAtlass How long should you wait
Just don’t marry until you’re mature, responsible, and emotionally ready
Make sure that person is fit and deserves all the sacrifices you are going to make.
The problem is that everyone who goes into marriage once thought that they have those qualities.
Just don’t get married because there are no benefits in marriage for men!
@@everetteborr what ??
@@everetteborr yeah
Single and virgin
Life is peaceful and good!!
th-cam.com/video/Ns28oYxGURA-/w-d-xo.html I’d love to know your thoughts on this
Same!
@@diplomat2623 We all have sinned lied, lusted, disrespected parents, stolen etc Therefore none of us are good and able to get into Heaven. But God out of His love sent his son Jesus (also God in Human flesh) to die on the cross for our sins and rise again from the dead (nobody can do that only God). Jesus said if you Repent of your sins and put your complete trust in Him for your salvation, you’ll have eternal life, given to you as a free gift. John 14: 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
Then why they watch porn more and eat donuts and also become donuts, you know what even those people are also not happy In their life
Same here 🙋
Me a 13 year old single with no life outside the internet and library watching a video about causes of divorce
Same I am to 13
Reverse the number. I'm 31 still unmarried & watching this video when I need to make up my mind for marriage.😂😂
Y’all too 😅
@@devils_advocate_OO7 why are you not marrying then??
Me too bro.
"Marriage is two people not giving up on each other "❤️I am going to use it everywhere now
Until sth breaks.😉
But you need to know when you should give up. I have seen women beaten for 20 years, just because he has emotional issues you can't help him with. On lady finally got out and quickly found a good guy who had to undo a bunch of evil things that she had come to think were normal.
Hidden emotional damage due to physical and psychological abuse from family of origin; prior sexual abuse; Covert or overt narcissism; emotional manipulation and gaslighting; strongly divergent values, goals, imperatives; incompatible personalities; hubris, fear of abandonment, submission to conformity; lack of self awareness and empathy; excessive agreeableness; lack of ability to resolve conflicts immaturity-These are some of the ticking time ⏰️ bombs that self destruct a marriage.
C. Howard
I grew up in a fairly poor farm town to a lower middle class family... I got an education through the Navy and built a successful career... On that journey, I met my wife, also from a poor farming community. We had 3 kids, I got more successful and that's when she put on the brakes!
She hooked up with a guy who for all intents and purposes was going no where. Walked away from me and the kids. In less than 2 weeks after our divorce, she married him and they've been married over 20 years...
One time I ask her, "Why would you choose him?"
She replied, "Because he shares his dreams with me!"
I said, "I shared my dreams!"
Her retort... "Yah but then you'd make them come true!"
I realize that our incompatibility is she was still a small town girl. She wanted to sit in a bar and talk about life and what could be. The fact I was making things happen was intolerable to her. I don't hold it against her (well, yah, the cheating), some people don't want to leave the small life and will fight with everything they have to get back to that sense of safety!
Yes, many women prefer bad boy losers for more excitement and tingles!
How dare you be responsible.
@@everetteborr he really wasn't the "bad boy" loser, just a loser and personal bias aside, he was a pussy (still is, even physically abused my kids)... No, my point was she wanted someone who wouldn't challenge her to grow and he was her guy. Because I was working so hard to put my old life behind me, it put huge demands on her she couldn't, well didn't want to, handle!
And I'll be fair, it hasn't been an easy road, can't blame her for not wanting to come along.
Business Outside The Lines - w/Chuck Peavey
I am not sure that you understand how kind and generous you are being to him.
By any reasonable standard, if he physically abused your children, he was a bad boy loser.
I am sure that your struggles were hard, great success is a great struggle.
Again, by your own words, you are implying that he did not do much.
Anyway, as you know, desire cannot be negotiated so she had to find the tingles with her loser.
You were lucky to escape, but your children were not so lucky.
Wishing you and your children the best going forward.
@@everetteborr agreed, it was hard on my kids... I had them most of their lives, she only had them for about 3 years but that was enough... I guess you're right about the "bad boy" thing. I always thought of "bad boy" as someone who acts out of arrogance, more of an Alpha. This guy was never an Alpha.
And as for generous... He spent years of his life with her, he did me a favor taking her away!
Business Outside The Lines - w/Chuck Peavey I’m glad you had your kids most of the time. They were lucky.
Just when you think your mom couldn’t nag you enough, you get married and the real pain starts
Divorces happens only when you get married.
@Golden Gainz words of wisdom, ....words of wisdom
“She’s not yours , it’s just your turn” #Facts
- Rollo Tomassi
Hahaha was looking for some truth on this one and I found it xD
Red Pill Red Pill can you come out to play?
Lol who hurt you?
@@tayphiri519 stop saying shit like that. We men aren't dumb. I have heard this sentence from my own Mother.
I’ve been married for nearly 10 years and my secret to a happy marriage is to treat each other with respect, appreciation and affection.
✏
You're Asian so you have a lot of traditional values bestow on you because of your culture and your upbringing. A lot of Americans typically have a "Take" mentality rather than a "Give".
@@deadcell1 thank you. India, china etc and Muslim countries have more traditional values and divorces are illegal
Yes
@@deadcell1last part is so true.
I am currently separated and we may be heading to divorce and one of the three major issues was, 1. infidelity which began when I was pregnant and it resulted in the lady calling me a few months before we got married that she was pregnant. 2. his families over-involvement in our marriage heavily influencing our home decisions. 3. Money issues I ended up paying most of the bills or getting financial aid from my family.
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I hope that you can make better choices for your life in the future.
Mental illness can make people get a divorce too. Marriages where someone has bipolar/ borderline personality disorder or schizophrenia tend to be a lot more difficult to maintain because of the disorder/(s), so many people just end up getting divorced due to that. 95% of marriages where someone has bipolar, for example, apparently end up not working out.
couldn't agree more
Shouldn’t have got together in the first place. No crazy for me. No offense to anyone
I’m in to deep already
This is my situation wrapped up in a nut shell
I wish I seen the signs earlier 😢
Thanks COVID.....
@W Dade Jenkins I have a mild case Asperger's and can definitely relate to that. I probably have a bunch of other mental health issues. Bipolar 1, ultra rapid cycling, psychotic, mixed and (possibly) catatonic features, and severe symptoms being the main one. I have manic episodes that last 2 weeks and then I'm stable for a week, and then I'll have another (probably manic) episode again.😵
Divorces happens only when you get married.
I see a huge trend about the way couples work. It's all about sex first, then get to know each other several months or years later if the relationship last by just for sex only.
Been married 41 years to the same woman. The first 7 years were a nightmare. The last 34 have been sweet. Maybe like slowly saving money for retirement. I guess we invested 7 years of toil in our marriage to reap happiness the rest of your lives. The glue that held us together was our Christian faith. I am what many would call an Alpha male who keeps his zipper up. My wife is a Proverbs 31 woman. She is still my Sweetie.
For many people it’s the other way around … the first 7 years are sweet … the years after that a nightmare
@@KitaTaki-mk3gt Sorry I'm slow to respond. We just got back from a road trip. Actually, that surprises me. I guess I just figured if you made it through the marriage character adjust period, things would get better for most. I also wonder if generational and faith issues might play a part also. Your point is well-taken though. Thanks.
Well, the 7 year itch is a well known phenomenon … Also, many people “settle” after some time for “ a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness” . But of course there are exceptions. I’m happy for you that you’re one of them
Thats mean ur women past her fertal years
Love is blind but marriage is an eye opener
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Love is not blind, ppl are, letting your feelings control you instead of logic leads to blindness. To blame your ignorance and faults on a human construct is just dumb.
I filed for divorce after I finally outgrew the need to put up with my husband's abusiveness. My vows said Till death do you part, but I decided to draw the line at my death being at his hands.
You go girl, and make a long list of requirements for any future husband, if you want one, because you don’t want to repeat “your” mistakes in marrying him.
Define this "abusiveness"?
Ehtisham Amin abuse is abuse there no need to “define” it
Tay Phiri yes, and if she said so, it must be true.
@@tayphiri519 Yes there is.
I never dreamed of getting married and never imagined myself having kids. Its sad how society sees this as a taboo, and people who get marry or have kids just to solve their relationship problems are on their way to failing.
Society is changing for the better because marriage rates are at an historic low rate!
Agree. I'm happily single, when I told people that I refuse to marry and have children, they look at me as if I'm insane. Idgaf
@@alyssajones4368 your parents also should not have goten married and given birth to you.
@@everetteborr Well no in India bro.
@@arnavsrivastava1158 Sorry about the problem in India!
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death.
I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner is. Also, you would more likely be much closer to a person who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a partner or spouse.
People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
I disagree romantic love is unique and it's real the problem is the people are selfish
@@rudigruenberg6591 There are a lot of toxic romantic relationships, while there isn't that many toxic platonic relationships.
Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships, while abuse is rare in platonic relationships. So there is a lot of abusive romantic relationships, while there is isn't that many abusive platonic relationships.
Why do you think abusive romantic relationships have a term for them called "domestic violence", while abusive platonic relationships don't have a term for them? It's because abuse in platonic relationships are very rare, while abuse in romantic relationships happens a lot.
And also, a lot of people cheat on their romantic partners with someone else, while most people won't do stuff like that with their platonic best friends.
Also, I heard that most people can live a life without romance and can still be happy. But most of the time, if someone doesn't have any platonic friends in their life, it can effect them really bad mentally; much worse than living a life without a romantic partner.
In today's world, less people are dating and getting married now, and they seem to be more happy being single rather than being in romantic relationship with someone.
Also, you're going to have a much deeper spoken understanding and connection with your best friend than you are with a romantic partner or spouse.
@@icysnow57cold64 that is not true for everyone who cannot be happy without an SO i still believe romantic relationships can also be deeper as well your just tried and makimg excuses
Platonic relationships and romantic relationships may be two entirely different things, but that doesn't mean they are equal when it comes to the amount of love given in them. The love in platonic relationships seems to be way stronger than the love in romantic relationships are since platonic relationships are not fragile like romantic relationships are.
Also, platonic relationships also seem to be a lot more intimate and comfortable than romantic relationships are.
Platonic love is one of the most purest forms of love there is, while romantic love is one of the least purest forms of love there is.
Most people seem to be a lot more comfortable around their platonic best friends than they are around their romantic partners or spouses.
A platonic best friend is one of the best things you could ever have. A platonic best friend can be someone you trust the most, and they can be your confidant and coach.
People tend to trust their platonic best friends more than their romantic partners, and that's a fact.
The concept of romantic love and romantic relationships seems to mostly be a man-made thing.
if something works half the time, why would i trust it 100%?
i'm thankful to be single and that i bought my house all by myself 😁
1. Gender Equality 0:50
2. Money, Sex, Status, Biological Clock 1:18
3. Your partner is a mama's boy 2:25
4. Couples stop trying 3:09
5. Mo Money, Big Problems 3:58
6. True colors are revealed when the doors are closed 4:53
7. You've lost your own identity 5:50
8. Have a baby / don't have a baby 6:24
9. Your life goals are not in sync 7:08
10. Your definition of happiness is completely different 7:53
11. You think marriage is a band-aid for a broken relationship 8:47
12. "Grey Divorce" is on the rise 9:44
13. Finger pointing, the blame game, and taking zero responsibility 10:27
14. Communication is dead 11:03
15. Voting the wrong presidential candidate 11:47
th-cam.com/video/MXp9amsiMyY/w-d-xo.html
If you like at the time bar in the video, you can see that there are many chapters. This is because the video created put all the time stamps in the description.
#15 Voting for TrUmP
A G if that's what you think is the right candidate, that says a lot about how masculine/feminine you really are. Conservative men are the only who don't have to worry about #1. Liberals on the other hand…
Number 11 issa fact peroid!! Too many ppl out there want to enter relationships or marriage when they are already damaged or destroyed from another one without even thinking to settle down or give it a break 🗣🗣
Never be with someone who will treat like you are average!
No, make sure that are continually pampered!
What a laugh. Most women ARE average.
Women want to live in their dreamland no matter which age
What makes you above “ average”?
@N 2 looking for true love ,ok ,u mean to say that the fiction u saw on tv is a reality for u ,thats what u call a dreamland
ny husband said my mom (88 years old) couldn't come and stay with us. When I went back to our home state to check on her and try and get things in order for her, he sent me divorce papers stating irretrievably broken as the reason. I didn't even know he was thinking about a divorce. I took care of his grandmother after he moved her in with us and I was in my 20's!!! That was in the early 90's.
That’s rough, sorry.
Sorry princess.
Maybe taking care of his own mom was too much and didn't want to do it again.
Not necessarily about you or your mom
They are :
Infidelity. Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce. ...
Money. Money makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it's true. ...
Lack of communication. ...
Constant arguing. ...
Weight gain. ...
Unrealistic expectations. ...
Lack of intimacy. ...
Lack of equality.
Infidelity is a symptom of the problem. Infidelity for the most part falls under the category of betrayal and is thereby a byproduct of Self-Hatred. If a partner has committed infidelity, the truth of the matter is the marriage was over long ago.
Infidelity and extra marital affairs
are the same .Aren't they ?
Only liberal and moderate idiots will face those problems.
I would add hypergamy to your list.
Nomadic Crier infidelity is not a reason for divorce?
Is it okay for her to continue to ride the cc after marriage?
AS A FAMILY LAWYER, I CAN VERIFIED THAT ALL OF THE REASONS LISTED ARE TRUE, WHAT'S REALLY SAD, IT'S THAT THE KIDS ARE ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE OF ENDLESS BATTLES AND THE MAJORITY OF COUPLES USE THEM TO GET BACK AT EACH OTHER.
Sad, but unfortunately true. I can understand why marriage rates are at an historic low rate. Men see too many risks in marriage for themselves and future children.
I stand by this rule.
Live with someone for at least a year before marriage.
happily married for 15 years
Nah, live in relationship are really bad and often lead to divorces. It's better to have not lived with the person before marriage.
@@joshdunham7167 when someone with 15+ years of successful experience gives advice... heed the advice
@@lonzarellibellamy1904 it's anecdotal, emperical data shows people who lived together before marriage divorced at higher rates than the ones who did not. Of course the conclusion can't be specific from the data but there's a video of Dr peterson explaining why that could be harmful. 15 years of marriage is irrelevant.
@@joshdunham7167 you're right, buddy! no one with a successful marriage is relevant to a discussion about successful marriage.
@@lonzarellibellamy1904 I did not say that, I'm simply comparing anecdotal evidence to emperical evidence. Just because it worked for him doesn't mean it will work for everyone eles and the data supports that.
Literally having the hundredth conversion with my husband that he doesn’t communicate, 7 years together 5 years married. And this video pops up 🆙 we had a good laugh 😂
Divorce
I was married to a narcissist and your explanation of them is SPOT ON!
Was he Lex Luger, lol 😂? Just playing.
@@curtiswilson4737 :)
They prolly say the same thing about you on youtube...
A lot of reasons… jealousy, money, family customs etc play a big factor
I respect people who get married. I understand that it does work for some. What I don't understand is why we single people still get bashed for not getting married! Let us live our lives and respect our decisions! It shouldn't be looked down upon to be single because no one should be pressured into getting married. That is probably why there is so much divorces!
Completely relate
I couldn't agree more! I'm still single and comfortable in my own skin. Whoever judges me, will definetely get a piece of my mind 😆 🤣 😂 😹
Thank god I wasn't born in liberal or moderate society or else I would have end up in orphanage.....
Only conservatives and traditional people had successful marriage life, and I'm born from conservative family and now I'm well settled thanks to my greatest parents in the world who brought me up and they're still happy together. Even my grand parents still exist.
True. I feel bad for children born in the west. 40% of children in Newyork don't know their fathers, thats like not nowing half of their family. My parents fight all the time but never divorced for us children because we live in a consevative society.
@@ehtishamamin5601 I do too. I'm lucky that I'm a western person who has both parents marries. I wish more people would grow up and be honest with their partners
Truth be told, marriages in conservative families appears to be successful because for them divorce is not a solution its a taboo, women there are mostly uneducated or unemployable so if they leave their husband they can't survive, it just looks good on a surface but as my observation goes its a 50-50 chance.
Divorces happens only when you get married.
@@ankitagarwal9343 no that's not true I had so many divorces with so many women in my mind that should also count ಠ_ಠ
the main reason is that people decide to LEAVE instead of FIXing a relationship !
@@Alvin-xs7db over 80% of divorces are filed by women because
1. It's easier to find a new one in this day and age.
2. Women don't suffer any consequence of divorce.
3. Lawyers generally take 1/3rd of the divorce settlements so it's the best and easiest way to make money.
@@joshdunham7167 oh wow 😳
@@joshdunham7167 100% true! Divorce, especially with children, are skewed to the woman's advantage
For women, it's cheaper to buy a new car than to fix an old one.
@@joshdunham7167 basically it's the feminist laws that are always in favour of women
Scientists in 19th century: We will have flying cars by 2020
People in 2020: me first...i am first...early
feminism
@@particleconfig.8935 hahaha you're gonna blame feminism on that really
@@GresaBajraktari yeah 😾
"Marry and you'll regret it. Don't marry and you'll also regret it" Soren Kierkegaard
So marry and know both sides of the coin...
Why regret not getting married?
You can stay in a committed relationship without marriage, marriage makes literally no sense. Why would you lock yourself into a contract for no reason?
@@halaldunya918 couldn't have said it better
@@thelostpony6678 Because then you would be lonely.
"When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful" -Eric Thomas
In marriage, the “you” must be plural. It only takes one to destroy it.
The highest the divorce rate has ever been in American history is 34%.
Edit: The entire video as a whole is good. I do want to point out, the number 1 reason couples get divorced: Hygiene issues. A close second is Money issues. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist that primarily works with couples and run into issues surrounding divorce quite often.
Hygiene issues???? Man, I'm screwed 😂
Embrace Your Dreams thank you bro
Hygiene? I wonder if it is more related to things like keeping up the house clean.
@@cletokings4302 In my clinical work, I have found this to be the case. Hygiene is a broad term as well. A partner that doesn't clean dishes and lets them get moldy is considered less hygienic than a partner that cleans the dishes. What it boils down to in my opinion: many partners enjoy cleanliness for their own mental health. When this is taken for granted, the more hygienic partner can feel as if they are being taken for granted.
Never thought about hygiene as a potential divorce reason. And how one partner can feel taken advantage of. It makes sense though.
My husband finishes series without me all the time! Forgiveness is the hardest with that sort of betrayal 😪
OH NO.......Thats somehow a very good reason to destroy a family.
Ehtisham Amin yes, she should leave him for it. Why should she put up with it.
@@everetteborr You make no sense.
@Thanos Mighty OHHH...
Ehtisham Amin it’s a type of traditional American humor. It simply follows on with the logical extension of the initial thought. It’s a way to poke fun at the initial proposition.
I just turned 39 this year, not married and don't have kids. I'm happy because I get to do what I want. Come and go as I please. I have friends who are not happy in their marriages. At times, they hate coming home. Why spend so much money on a wedding just to throw away the marriage later. A waste of time for both and money.
@DS to raise children as a unit.
@@EpicDrew15 No it doesn't GENIUS!
There is no logic in your views.
What it really looks like by what you saying is "Just BELIEVE that its good and it will be".
@DS No. What he meant was the institution its self was created to ensure the new born children of society a safe and secure environment.
There is logical in his point you just don't know what marriage actually is so its difficult for you to come to a conclusion.
@@EpicDrew15 Its very easy actually. Just learn the why something exists and its implications.
@@EpicDrew15 See the mistake you made is that getting married in a court. It's still a legal binding contract. You could have had the traditional marriage but no legal contracts involved. You still would announce it your friends, family, etc. The true test would be between you, her and God. The true test of your marriage relationship and trust is if one of you cheats or not! If so then the marriage meant nothing and was just a show for everyone and you shouldn't have made a big spectacle out of it in the first place!
Another reason for divorce is people not working on themselves. We need to start digging within and asking ourselves questions. Many people don’t even k ow how to be alone, jumping from relationship to relationship. Not knowing that a partner should be adding to you happiness.
Modern culture taught us misconceptions about marriage. But it is really a binding contract between two biological entities based upon the balance of different inputs from them and meeting ones needs.
FOR MARRIED PEOPLE: The feeling that you get in an affair can NEVER be love. Love comes from God, the same God who designed marriage and commanded us to honor it. I truly believe that God will not contradict Himself and put love in your heart for someone else other than your spouse. The feeling you have for the other person can be LUST, INFATUATION, OBSESSION, A SOURCE OF VALIDATION, AN EGO BOOSTER, A FORM OF ESCAPE or any other feeling that satan will USE to destroy your marriage (and push you to commit a SIN by breaking the VOW that you made before God). The devil will make you believe that what you feel for this other person is love when in fact it really ISN'T. That's what satan does. That's the reason he's called a LIAR and a DESTROYER.
INFIDELITY has a very destructive impact on people, and can be PASSED DOWN from generation to generation like a CURSE.
The devil has VIOLATED so many marriages; has TORN so many families apart; has RUINED so many lives. Don't let that monster proudly look at your OWN FAMILY and boast that he has successfully DESTROYED it too.
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:6)
Divorces happens only when you get married.
Amen.
well said brother, most people today mistaken lust for love
@@shawdexter1586 Thank you. I'm a female though 😅
@@lochan8180 you're welcome, sorry 😅
I am embarrassed to say I hate going to weddings. I dread them. I can't help looking at the couple and thinking how long is this going to last?
Make God be the center of your marriage. And He will continuously bless you.
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My aunt's 23 years of marriage came to a painful end coz my uncle was abusive and always tortured her like hell moreover he was too conservative in his thoughts and actions,even the kids weren't spared.
She remarried in her forties two years ago and she has found the peace and happiness she truly deserved,thanks to my two cousins who have supported their mum and gave her the permission to remarry,it surely wouldn't have been possible without them 💞
Nice
sooo happy for ur aunt. God bless you and her :)
Hardly anyone believes in for richer or poorer, in sickness and health till death do us part.
They just like the idea of marriage but not the commitment that needs to be put into it.
99% dont believe it
haha that line always cracks me up
No one ever believed in that. What you really mean is sickness and health if the man is sick, forsaking all others is also only for women. For richer for poorer but that one might be if a man gets broke.
Still Single and Virgin
Didn’t Care about this Topic 😅😅
Are you? How old are you???
Congratulations, you are avoiding the train wrecks in most men’s lives.
Better learn something so you are ready when it's time.
Stay single.
There are so many people that are narcissistic, adulterous, promiscuous cheaters pretending to be wholesome, normal people that are destroying marriages, families, etc..
It's nagging, controlling, manipulative. Lying basket cases of women that are the problem
Just be smart. Don't get married. It's cheaper in the end.
Yes.
@@EpicDrew15 that is sad.
@@EpicDrew15 few relationship that last longer is a sad case of how quick we want get out instead of fixing it. Our generation is treating marriage like broken smartphone.
Just because marriage can end in sadness and loss of money doesn’t mean a happy life of love with someone isn’t worth enduring some struggle. Sorry you had a bitter experience honey but not all marriages are unhappy!!
@@memesterchickenugg7375 Money is the number 1 cause of marriage issues. Losing money in a divorce will affect all other relationships. Alimony/palimony/child support is no joke.
I though everything is true until she said voting for the wrong presidential candidate🤣🤣🤣 oh come on
True, that's utterly bullshit. I don't live in 🇺🇸
When they each vote for the other party, that is showing where their true values lie. You can tell a lot about who a person is truly and their values and thoughts by who they vote for.
@@victoriamather2267 And the fact that you took too long to learn about their preferences is. Just shows your incompetence and non serious behaviour.
@@ehtishamamin5601 That is true. If you wait until after you’re married to find out what kind of person they are/will vote for, it will be too late.
Believe it or not friendships and family relationships have been irreparably severed because of the last election. Guess what? The same thing, to a higher degree is going to happen this year too.
Alcoholism and Narstic disease and physical abuse. My divorce became final in May 2020
Alux is the reason my channel is one of the best upcoming channels on TH-cam.
I learn a lot here and incorporate into my content
#3 Now now there's mama's girls' too!!!! ("Oh that's different?")
Yes! I'm a huge mommy's girl and my mom is the FIRST person to tell me that I'm in the wrong.
@@tiffanyyllera5977 love your momma 😍
Daddy’s princess.
I have family problem I'm a woman out of that statement lol
Being single is a damn lifesaver. Especially nowadays, with folks acting more like narcissist pricks. One of my friends is in the midst of a divorce, claims her husband has done some crazy shit to her yet he blames it on mental illness. Thank goodness they have 0 children, it's worse when a child(ren) are involved.
It will destroy family system in future ,if u life single fine enjoy don't give that advise to all
Agree on how you will handle these BEFORE marriage (per Dave Ramsey):
Money
Kids
In-laws
Religion
Liberal or conservative.
@@recabitejehonadab2654 agreed, but I think that someone’s willingness to put policies that govern society over personal discussions about how you treat their spouse and family may be a clear indicator of which side they lean
@@recabitejehonadab2654 just saying, it will probably come up
I did not want to adapt to HER way of thinking, it was her way or get divorced. I shoosed to move on?
Yes, you should not have to conform to her ways, and if you had, she would have left you anyway for being a beta-simp.
I’d move on.
She is not yours. It's just your turn!
I love this channel. It’s like free therapy and a college course all in one. Can you please make a video on successful creative types? I’m trying to get back into writing and don’t know what to do. Of course knowing this channel the advice you’re going to give is “just write already” lol
Back in the day when marriage was invented people used to live about 30 years on average . So being married forever wasn't a big problem when that "forever" was so short
I literally got married Saturday after going through a nasty divorce three years ago. I can tell you pretty much all of the things listed happened for the first marriage and none hold true for second after knowing her for two years now.
For those getting a divorce, there is always hope.
Tell that in a few years-you are still in the honeymoon period. 70% of second marriages fail. The odds are against your overconfidence.
Dummy!
@@everetteborr So is looking at things in only a negative light. "He who say's he can, and he who says he can't are usually right."
@@everetteborr And by the way, numbers are for suckers.
Jeremy Bertrand it’s called over confidence because you think you are the exception.
You cannot predict your future with such little data.
“The numbers are for suckers”, oh really?
You are the type who thinks he can win in a casino.
After being married for 13 years, I’ve gotta say pick someone you actually want to grow old with and that they are equally ready to grow old with. Open communication about what you want before you get that conversation of marriage going on. Living with someone before marriage is hard to set life on. That is absolutely stupid that you would divorce because of who your spouse actually voted for.
I’m about to divorce my wife. The number 1 reason is lack of trust. At least twice per month she is hanging out with her friends until 2 am. Her friends by the way are all divorced or single women. Nothing against them but if she likes her company she may also like their way of thinking and lifestyle. I have also known that she doesn’t care much about me but when she prefers friends over me I knew I was just wasting my time. I wasted 15 years of my life with this person.
Yes, girls night out is not a good sign. We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. She probably is already having an affair. Congratulations, and best wishes going forward.
Rick Blaine not sure if she is having an affair yet but she is a beautiful women and I’m sure she could whenever she wanted to. Now that we are serious about divorce may give her the “motivation” to do it. Also when she cares to buy expensive tequila for her friends and don’t share it with me when she knows I appreciate a goo tequila let’s me know how much she cares about me😔
Cletokings there is much on this topic, girls nights out, in red pill communities. I would suggest you connect with a successful men’s red pill community if you have not already done so. You are doing the right thing by cutting your losses. Here is a quick lesson: Desire can never be negotiated. Best wishes.
Rick Blaine thanks man.
I can't wait to learn here.
Alux is always the best resource
I've never been married but #9 was the reason why my fiancee and I split up. It was identical to what you describe even down to the part of the camper. He was the one who wanted to live in a camper (it seemed eerily similar to what you described 😂) and I was the one who wanted to advance in my profession. That's the day I actually realized it wasn't going to work. 😐
Nothing wrong with each going your own way! I am happy for both of you.
Social media tr@mp now ....🧘🏽♂️
Marrying means staying togheter through the good, *and* the bad moment. The key to a marriage is communication, never hide something and always talk. That's how you stay loving and that's how you keep the spark BRIGHT
Never stay with someone when your miserable, if a wife is nagging leave her, if she's controlling and manipulative leave her
I wonder what the divorce rate would be if you didn't get money when you divorced someone, and each spouse had to pay 50/50 of the child expenses after divorce.
They did this because back than marriage last until death because people died earlier and women couldn’t divorce or have rights. Anyways it was men fault for making marriage as a money ticket for both partner just in case the husband died
Right now I'm 18, barely starting my life, I know, but during high school many girls liked me and I liked them back, but none of them ever made feel enough to take a chance with them, but all the time there was another girl, she liked me from the moment she first saw me but I didn't, she was my best friend for 2 years, them my special person, and finally my girlfriend, right now we have 1 and half year dating and I haven't been able to stop thinking about marrying her from the moment we started, I know am too young, but I think I'm one of those lucky ones, and some day, I will make my wife, and the best part? She already knows it, and has made really clear she's in, for life
I’d wait until you are 26 if you are gonna marry her
Those who had to divorced are extremely insincere in that they couldn't keep their marital vows and also showed extreme stupidity and idiocy to have married their bad spouses in the first place.
When you find a partner, be sure to :
-Know his/her life goal.
-Know how he/she define happiness.
-Know his/her flaws and and the compromises to deal with in the future.
-Consider the lifestyle.
-Know how mature he/she is in understanding that marriage isnt just about loving.
-Like him/her without paying attention to physical attractiveness.
-Know whether he/she want a child.
-Be honest and open to him/her. Dont pretend to be nicer. The less both sides pretend, the sooner both sides get to know each other.
-Know why you want to get married and understand that marriage isnt just about the happy things.
-Understand that marriage is a teamwork from both sides.
-Analyze his/her ego.
-Not to rush the relationship. Take your time to decide.
-Spend enough time to get to know with each other before getting married.
-Communicate well.
I divorced my husband one year ago, I wasn’t happy anymore, now I shine like a star ⭐️, great decision I made 🤗
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
My reason was the sexual life was death, I had no more attraction to him, zero 😩
You go girl, and next time, make a long list of requirements for a future husband, if you want one, so you do not repeat your mistakes in marrying him.
kevin chhuon yes, a lot of truth is being revealed in this thread. Men, be observant. Desire can never be negotiated. Do not ever marry-you can achieve everything you want without marriage.
Rick Blaine thank you appreciate your advice, now I know I don’t meet a men to take care of me 😁
kevin chhuon thanks Kevin, I can’t believe how supportive you all are 🤗, thank you 😊
It's not complicated. If a man gets good sex, he'll never leave a woman.
Unfortunately very few do.
Yeah dude sometimes people cheat too.
@@EpicDrew15 It actually is. Its scientifically proven that when men pair bond with women they lose interest in other women.
But when they are s*x deprived the vesopresin goes down and the man starts to show interest in other women.
I think it's more than 50%
I avoid momma's boys like *the pl*gue*
As you guys said, to them it's perfectly normal to see their woman struggling 🙄 biggest waste of time I can think of.
Marriage overall for men is extremely overrated, men please don’t do it I repeat please don’t do it. It is not worth it on any level.
1. Hypergamy
Edited to make it numero uno. Alux calls it "equality," but I think we should call a spade a spade
No, hypergamy is the no. 1 reason.
@@everetteborr
Yeah you're right, I edited it for accuracy. Cheers 🍻
Double Odd Josh lol
When I was a kid I just couldn't understand why 2 people got married, had little money and then took out huge mortgages, had kids quickly and so struggled with money and strain the marriage constantly. We did it the other way. Got together, bought a house and paid it off THEN got married. 20 years strong next month. Are we the only people in the world that can see that our way is much better ? So many people fall into the first trap.
Actually, I think it's smart to get married first. It makes a lot of sense to pay off the house fast, though. And the problem people have is they spend too much on a wedding, too much on a house, then they have a kid or two on top of it. So, in general, I agree with you.
All these differences can also be the reason why you love the other person. Just the realization that nobody is perfect and stop expecting anything from other person. Give your 200 percent into anything you do including your relationship
If someone divorces you over a disagreement about politics - it is proof that they value their political opinions over your relationship. Who wants a partner like that anyway? I found it interesting that the example given was initiating a divorce when someone found out their spouse voted for the current US President. Isn't it interesting that the people who preach love, tolerance and diversity the loudest, usually practice what they preach the least?
Peoples politics show what kind of person they are and it’s super important that you marry someone with the same views as you
Automatically assuming that someone is bad because they hold different opinions is the definition of bigotry. What makes it even sadder is that most of that traffic is from so called “progressives” who claim tolerance, towards anyone who disagrees with them!😢
Because women are being raised as men and the other way around as well.
that's the biggest reason they've lost their femininity and expect men to lose their masculinity . So they can have a little puppy also known as husband .
Women also tend to want everything. They want personal success, a successful husband and kids. If everybody is always working kids are going to be a burden. As women we need to learn to make choices.
Paloma Santillan I agree. Women have been taught they can have it all, when in reality, there are serious trade offs in life.
@DS there logic defies quantum physics
What does that even mean? Men and women should all be educated, learn how to work and earn money. Both need to be able to cook, do laundry, clean the house, change the oil, etc. Both should be able to look after children. Both must be able to handle money. People must be able to fully take care of themselves for however long it is before they get married, if they even want to. After you become a couple, whoever is better at something or likes it more does that, if the man is better cooking and the wife is better with the money, go to it. You really suck as a partner if you aren't self sufficient. Spouses die, get ill, get stuck overseas during pandemics. There's an episode of "Mash" where the wife sends a box of receipts to Korea for the husband to balance the checkbook because she can't do it. That's a disgrace. I'm sure her seams were straight and lipstick perfect. Doing your own laundry doesn't make you less masculine. Changing out windshield wipers doesn't make a woman less feminine. I hope you mean something very different than that.
Communication and speaking the truth not what the other might want to hear and the reality of what type of relationship you really have( see the red flags and protect yourself from it ).
Menopause causes a change in women's behavior and might triggers divorce.
🤷🏽♂️ let's be honest, marriage only benefits women.
Yes, marriage is no longer mutually beneficial and that is why men don’t want to get married.
Marriage rates are at an historic low rate for good reasons.
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(2)he can help you solve your broken relationship
(3)he can help you with money Attraction
(4)he can help you win your court case
(5)Success in your exam
(6)he can help you improve your mental health
(7) he can help you break spiritual bondage
(8)he can help you get your ex back
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@@michellem4163 You are not describing today. Maybe you are thinking about the 1950’s. Marriage rates are at an historic low rates today because marriage has no benefits for men.
@@michellem4163 No mam, these day if you ask a woman to cook and clean, shell consider that an insult.
@@michellem4163 marriage is at historically low rates in the USA. Are you totally unaware of the current environment? Marriage has no benefits for men.
1. Creating
2. False Ownership
3. Loss of attraction
4. Lack of respect
5. No longer friends
It took me 5 yrs to divorce my ex-husband. Je thought he owned me & was controlled. He paid for an attorney i did it on my own. 🤓🔥
You go girl, and next time make a huge list of requirements for a husband, if you want one, so that you do not repeat YOUR mistakes in marrying your last husband.
Much of what's on the list could have been settled on the courtship period......
Actually tracking marriages over a 40 year period, the divorce rate is 67%, it jumps from 50% as the time interval is longer
No not you it’s actually less than 50% now
@@dorino9057 yeah because less than 50% of people are getting married now
You work for 40yrs to have $1M in your retirement, meanwhile some people are putting just $10K in crypto from just few months ago and now they are multimillionaires..
Lastly I Will Never Get Married
@carosullivan5567I'm glad you asked,I can recommend an Expert named Warren T Sonia Financial analyst at New York Stock Exchange
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No 1 reason of divorce is marriage itself. Don't get married, you will never be divorced.
Correct!
It's kind of like saying "Don't take any risks, that way you'll never be hurt".
mysticaltyger49 no, it’s saying don’t take any “unnecessary” risks.
Sorry, marriage is not a necessity for men, it is just a financial risk.
That is why high status men are not marrying today.
Random fact
The inventor of Vaseline used to eat a spoonful of it every day.
-The Shades
That's why he never had constipation 🤣🤣🤣
My first marriage ended in divorce after 33 years. She wanted to marry her cousin. She never did. She passed away exactly one year to the day our divorce was final.
so glad I never got married and I'm 48! Marry myself was the best marriage ever LOL
I wish whoever get married should stay together make effort to make it fun and exciting.if you don't have money also no problem you can sit with your spouse holding hands and image a comfortable life ..sit and talk about some vacation what you both would do when you are there in that city..how grateful you both will feel.it is never too late for anything..when a person dies we only remember there good and kind acts...try to see those good and kind acts in your partner..... marriage is not an individual issue it is a social issue....in this period we don't have guarantee for job,for life for anything, there is lot of insecurity happening around the world atleast marriage should become secure.accept a the person as they are pamper them show appreciation for them as they are...i wish everyone should be happy with there family.think 1000 times before doing marriage once married don't give second thought....i know the value of being in family because i am going through this phase.I Don't know what mistake I have done in my past life but i pray to god to forgive me and i am sorry 🙏
50% success rate is pretty high all things considered
@Golden Gainz I been on both side of the fence yet still we find out way too late in our lives its better to love and lost then to have never loved at all.
@Golden Gainz Love is being open and vulnerable because love is our true identity underneath it all.. a friend, family and even pets can betray you.. my cousin had to put his dog down because he attacked his 3yr scared his face for life and he loved that dog to death. Friends and family double cross each other everyday it can always go sour.. thats what gives love its validity theres a beautiful risk involved at all times.. Being happy is the individuals responsibility, when we place that weight on our wives and husbands it leads to unessessary exess of pain and divorces imo
@Golden Gainz You have a point there i was just saying its always a risk.. with women being the riskiest no doubt
Just god divorced. Realized that she didn't love me for at least 1 year. She loved the idea of my ideas and wanted to live off them.
Deep
Marriage is a dying concept
For very good reasons!
1. Gender Equality
2. Money Sex Status Biological Clock
3. Your partner is a mama's boy
4. Couples stop trying
5. Mo money big problems
6. True colors are revealed when doors are closed
7. You've lost your own identity
8. To have a baby or to not have a baby
9. Your life goals are not in sync
10. Your definition of happiness is completely different
11. You think marriage is a bandaid for an already broken relationship
12. Grey divorce is on the rise
13. Finger pointing, the blame game and taking zero responsibility
14. Communication is dead
15. Voting for the wrong presidential candidate
Hello ALux!
Just was wondering what you think about John Gottman's 4 predictors of divorce: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling
It’s hypergamy, monkey branching, money, and prizes.
Believing you can enter into marriage, elicit promises of security, fidelity and dedicated caring and love form your partner - then decide you don't "feel" it any more and start changing the agreement to suit your emotion of the moment instead of what is needed to make the marriage work.
16. She always goes back to Chad and Tyrone.