It's impossible for a healthy person to understand what a narcissist is without this type of information Andrew delivers on the daily. Thank you for stepping up and helping humanity, Andrew, we appreciate you.
I thought about you Andrew- I saw a Crime program. Jennifer’s Law. A Mother was killed in-front of her children by Separated Husband. The Children Spoke and said - They Should Teach this In School! Red Flags- And Toxic Narcissists! Hope you can do this!🥰
@@jennyferguson5583 I totally agree that we need to have this information taught at all levels of school. I would like to see this offered at workplaces for personal development and better functioning of places of work.
I've heard it said in rare cases God can change a narcissist. The one I had been dealing with did not change and I don't have the time to wait for his epiphany.
And each time we are forced into solitude because we can't just instantly replace that person like they can. In solitude we can gain strength and understanding. They never do this. We can self improve. We can learn and grow. We can learn from our mistakes. Because that's all they were really.
Took me 7 years to get over her COMPLETELY. She threw me away like used toilet paper after 25 years and me raising our (her) 3 kids. Thank you , Andrew for your videos, I'm sure they (the videos) are helping people every day like they have helped me. God Bless you.
I understand, I worked hard for everything he wanted and raised an adopted son with him...26 years married, 2 years dating, 2 years getting through the divorce! Healed and alive in my hometown since college! Met a wonderful man in February in this town, and we are proud of each other!
I have had 5 years separation 20 years raised two children .I ran the house and the farm .she was living the life sending me broke .I was discarded as well she alienated the children from me .Andrew you have such an understanding of these evil people .
There is no one on TH-cam or anywhere else that explains it better than Andrew. I was in a long term relationship with a narcissist and am still on my healing path. Nothing feels better than being able to be myself again and not have to hide anymore. I watch these videos constantly and have also had the privilege of working with Andrew one on one. So if you need to find your path to healing and you're here, you've found it ❤ I'm sorry if I sound vague I just don't want to share my personal details but I can say from experience, this is a safe place
I believe he has the talent and upper level ability to "Reverse Engineer" the whole non-material event, piece by piece to understand what happened. To share it openly makes us so very lucky.
He could put me down with a compliment. I told him I was rising above the pain he caused & refused to hold on to the trauma from him. This is my 4th week of 0 contact. Thank you Andrew. God bless you too 🙏🏼
I love in the end when you said, "What does the narcissist really think about you? Actually doesn't matter". Powerful truth. For those still healing... I have been out of the relationship for several years. I am healed. You can do it. You will see the narcissist entirely different. You will see the truth. You will want nothing to do with them. You will go back to who you were before you met them. But you will be stronger & so much wiser. You will see people & things differently. Things become crystal clear that never were before. Keep going. The mountain top is closer then you think. Thank you Andrew for shedding so much light on this subject. You're a good man 🙂. Another excellent video. Have a good evening. God's blessings to you ☀️☀️☀️
Profound words.....ty ty!!!! Finally healing....finally. and you're right you don't view them the same. Not even attractive ..bc I saw his soul and it is black!
@@flyawaybutterflyhealingchannel Thank you & you're welcome 🙂. Glad to hear you are healing 🙂. It will only get better & better over time. Take care 🙂 God bless 🙂☀️☀️
The narc also thought I was stupid! I was not stupid, but I was niave and believed in the fairy tale that society teaches us to believe in "happily ever after." Prince charming and Cinderella and happily ever after don't exist. All relationships/marriage/friendship requires effort, working and commitment, and mutual cooperation, respect, honesty, communication, and real affection. I am glad that I have awakened from my niave delusion. I'm glad I'm no longer in the narcissistic relationship. 😊
@@marieeakin8534 I love your description...walking the plank...yes it is very painful 💔 lesson but we survived and are stronger 💪 for having gone through it.
Focus on your dreams, focus on what you want for yourself.What do you want to change? What do you need to give up, in order to create a fulfilling life? It doesn't matter what the narcissist thinks about you, you have to find your own personality again. Be brave, it's worth it! Thank you very much, Andrew ❤🦄
If this were the only video you had ever made, Andrew, it would have been enough. I think I'll watch it every day now, and I need it every day. Healing from narcissistic abuse sounds to me something like trying to heal from alcohol or drug abuse...you have to tell yourself every day that being in the grips of the thing is killing you. I pray especially for those who are unable to get away. Thank you. 😇🥰🙏
The discard phase started right after we married and we moved into his house. We first had a long distance relationship for five years and I knew I made a mistake within a few days after our move but did not know back then he was a narcissist. I even called his mother for help. She appears to be a narcissist too. It took me five more years to figure out the situation would never improve. We (me and my two daughters) escaped hell a year ago and are still healing… it is still painful but also I am grateful for the wisdom, happiness and freedom now in my life. Thank you Andrew for your sharing your wisdom❤
True, in all those years he was not using my name. Not even a pet name. I used his name. He barely talked to me. Hair like that suits you. You have changed and it is great to see. Today I also realized how I have changed. I have been watching these videos for over 2 years as I also have an adult son who is a narcissist and was threatening me lying and manipulating me wanting my home. He used his children to manipulate my emotions. It is going to be 3 years since he is out of my life. That was very painful. He was my only child. I never want to see him as long as I live. I love my quiet happiness, gardening, nature, and peaceful existence grateful for getting my wisdom. Thanks.
Take care❤ those are very difficult decisions but a narcissist in your life is a living hell. My mother and brother are both narcissists and going no contact is the only way to survive.
No pet name, never called me by MY NAME either, ie NOT A PERSON. A "non-entity" entirely. Noticed this early on. So....MANY...red....flags!! Completely deplorable!
Narc is the best word. Just like Special agent Utah. They pretend to pretend.. but they really suck... and are working for someone else to take you down.
Andrew, I listen to you daily-usually when I’m in the kitchen cooking or cleaning. This is one of the most powerful shares from you I’ve heard this year. The way you describe the discard-how the person loses health, finances, all resources and abilities….it’s *shocking* to me how textbook these process are! When you are the discard, you feel so alone and disconnected. Unloved was my main emotion. Knowing that there is a definite “way” and predictable strategy and actual gameplan for how the narcissist operates… it’s truly baffling. Thanks for all you do!
What's wrong with me that I didn't see this in my own mother for 47 years? My sisters saw this at age 18 and 24, when they left home. They actually probably were aware of this earlier. I went on to have narc after narc in every prominent relationship, friendship, boss, my own kid... Am I just stupid? Is it borderline personality disorder (which I have and getting help for now)? My mother literally called me pathetic. It was one of the things that woke me up. The other was when she told me not to kill myself until she has gone. Seems I was just her pawn to be used for her gain and to give her a boost in her life. What a terrible thing to do to your own kid.
Nothing was wrong with you. You've lived your life as a good person. It took me over 60 years to realize what my siblings were. I was confused for a very long time. Then, I learned a huge Life lesson. It doesn't matter how long it takes. What matters is that we learn. We wake up.
I am now 63, & I only just realized that my mother and sisters were all covert narcs. The penny finally dropped. My mother died four years ago, and I felt absolutely nothing.
After my partner discarded me, I accused him of probably having someone else. He flatly denied it, but he was far to protective of his phone, and was definitely up to no good . I hind sight it is a good thing he left when he did, even though it broke me, as I really loved him, I couldn’t take anymore lies, gaslighting and secretive behaviour. It was destroying me .
I discovered that my ex-narc had a secret Tinder profile the whole time we were together. He had another girlfriend less than 2 months after I left him for the last time. He Hoovered me about 7 months later and accidentally said another woman’s name. That’s when he admitted that he was still in a relationship with her. It’s just an endless cycle of using people for him. It’s 100 percent different than what I believed about him when I was falling in love. 😔
It is so difficult coming to terms with the fact that these individuals don't care about us and never did. It hurts beyond measure, but at least we are getting the wisdom. The healing is so challenging. I pray to reach indifference someday soon. Thank you, Andrew! 🙏
I look at narcissists as like robots; they are fake people with no real emotions, so anything they are giving off, you know now that it is fake, don't react to it, and do not worry about hurting their feelings. They have no feelings to hurt, and they will try again to get the attention they desire. Do the same without reaction; they do not care, and eventually they will just give up trying and move on, but do not give in to their fake attention tactics and think it means anything to them. They are emotionless robots.
@@HuHWhat-yi8cp I know that is right I am dealing with one at my work place. I am finally done with it, she can not affect me no more. I found out today that she has another supply, because when I am around where she is at and she knows I am around she is all business she try's to hide the fact she has other people supplying her needs well today as I was leaving I had to go back into the office and she was talking to someone that I have never seen her talking to before so it is good to know that she knows now that I know her game is up.
HAD to stop the video at “ THE NARCISSIST NEVER CALLED MY NAME !! 😮. 27 years married and only today I find out why he did this ! I had no idea this is part of narcissistic behavior! Out of the fog (discarded) since Dec. 2022 moving on . Thanks Andrew😊
Thank you Andrew for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I’m now living my best life after over 50 years of being in ‘the fog’. I knew something was amiss but couldn’t figure it out until I googled ‘the silent treatment’. You popped up and educated me, It was scary. My mantra is now -mind over matter, I don’t mind because he doesn’t matter. I come first, second and third and live for today. The time I have left on this earth is for me to live my best life. Thanks to you Andrew and everyone who contributes to this channel.
Your “mind over matter” conceptualization really resonates!! Additionally, IMHO, learning/implementing the wisdom and living our best lives are the highest forms of reclamation and redemption from the narcissistic trauma.
Andrew you are 💯💯 spot on‼️ My heart breaks knowing you, me and way too many others and their families experienced this evil. We are strong now and healing every day.🌹🌸🌺🌼
I recently connected with an old friend I hadn't seen for 50 Years - The first few times we Got Together Were Great - But then on subsequent visits, I started receiving Insults and Criticisms - as time rolled on the Insults and Criticisms Increased - I Knew This Behavior Was Wrong - Thank God For Videos Like This I Learned FAST - I have had COMPLETE NO CONTACT for 2 months and Will Continue This Forever
You dodged a not so "nice try" -- well done ! - Bad people test out whith whom they can make it, who would let the sh ,,,t happen, who is helpless enough, who is well behaved.
Yes you will make it......keep listening to Andrew .....or maybe it would be better to speak to him privately.......I promise you Andrew will help you tremendously......please let him help you 🙏
I found at the worst time that some good company with decent folks (ring/text: "I could really use some company at the moment, please".. ), and keeping busy relieved the terrible pain somewhat. Volunteer? You'll meet people, be busy, maybe even support others..
I am 60 years old and I have managed my life until most recently when I finally realized how my life has evolved to 4 generations of narcissism. right now I feel like I am in a set back where I may have a degree of depression. I have build a great life with a great career, great safe home life, a few nice friends but I think I may be sinking into a recluse lifestyle and I dont want that but perhaps for now I need to just take advantage of it and surround myself in this safe environment
They try to make it look like you're chasing them when you might not have any thoughts about them, and they're in pursuit of you long before you know it. They'll literally ask you out and you'll say no, and they'll still act like you're desperate for them. Whatever doesn't make sense, that's what they do.
What was missing all these years were people who understood. Andrew opened doors to perception where I didn't even know there were doors! The community sharing their experiences were ( are ) healing in a big way. What do Narcs think of me? That will be way down the line in my list of priority concerns-- at the bottom count of a billion people. Have a Great Day, Evening, Morning !🌅🌛🌌👍
I did the discard. With Andrews help. I broke the trauma bond. YOU CAN TOO. Yes it was difficult. You can do it. I remember looking at "suggestive photos" I had been texted. Eventually I noticed the room she was in was not the place she lived in. They were recycled photos.
My conclusion about the toxic person/relationship I removed myself is: they have an extremely lowself esteem. They think all ladies is naive....they absolutely need other people to get enery to try and live a mask natural life. When Andrew started this video it sounded as if he was reading my diary, description of the narc. Thank you Andrew for your commitment to share your wisdom with us daily.😊
I knew early on in the relationship that something was off and didn’t feel quite right. Truth be told l abandoned a wonderful healthy loving marriage for years of abuse. I felt like I had made my bed and and had to sleep in it. I learned how to loathe myself with lots of encouragement from the narc. I made a mistake and believed I deserved being treated like an idiot. 32 yrs later my eyes are open and I’m in the process of finalizing a divorce. I blame myself for tolerating all the years of emotional abuse. I am moving on and I will survive. Thanks for all the encouragement and pep talks.
Ordinary people make mistakes. Narcs generate things beyond mistakes,i.e., keeping an old wound infected. Self- loathing and self blame is increased and sustained when you're being Keelhauled repeatedly, under their dark vessel. Smoother sailing ahead for you and all the best!
So spot on Andrew ❤ Unless you've been through this abuse, people don't get it. Brutally discarded by my husband of 12 years. A coworker of course. He has called me " honey " for 12 years and hes calling his new supply the same thing 🤷♀️ I appreciate you Andrew
There is truth to everything you say. There was a constant end game and the relationship had an absolute discard point pre-planned. Beware of someone who can throw you away for nothing. They are using power to grind you down. To take your personality and peices of you as you feel forced to walk around on eggshells. Don't let them do this. You can lose yourself like I did.
Sadly, it takes having been enmeshed in a relationship with a narcissist to understand the depths of evil. Our friends and family are not equipped to deal with the devastating effects that a narcissistic relationship has had on our minds, body, soul, and spirit.
I never saw it coming...a great test and reminder to put God/divine Self before anything else...I put him on a pedestal and thought he was my divine counterpart until I realised that it was a mask and there were layers of betrayal, lies, distrust, manipulation and the anger. The hardest thing has been to trust my intuition and body and all these messages without doubting them and to know that I deserve better.
Yes they certinally Hand Picked us, for the beauty they saw in us , kind authentic, compassionate Souls,, pray , meditate, and get that beautiful light on again,,keep busy and do the work to Heal,,You all Deserve to have a good Abundant and meaningfull life,,,The narc will never change ,just put them out of your mind,, we fell for a Fake REALITY,love and strength and light and ,Blessings Sent,,👉🕯️🙏🕯️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️t.y.Andrew 🤍
You are the first person on you tube to point out the pet name!!!!!! They use pet names so they do not call the wrong name and ...like you said they do not want to think or work too hard. Spoke 100% truth in this video! thank you sharing
after it was all over I think back and just can't believe I didn't see it all in my face, so blatant. I actually feel embarrassed that I was played and taken for being a sucker. Never again though! Oh! Also one of her favorite songs was called "fake love". I didn't know then but I know why now.
@mic. He saw a fanciful figurine I have of a fox dressed in a coat walking upright & carrying a walking stick, stared at it & remarked "He's pretending." Now, the narc is verrry robotic in always having to identify simple objects & make a statement ie "thats a coffee maker" & will often physically shy away when not able to identify objects ( control perception & conversation ) Or, if mistakes a juice machine for a coffee maker will become overtly angry or deflated or... settle that one with you later ! Back to the fox figurine - he knew it was like him - an animal pretending to be human...a "reflex machine." < The Mask of Sanity - a book by Hervey Cleckly. (Another good book is People of the Lie - Scott Peck.)
The moment with the fox - it was like time stood still & it was all out in the open - the void/abyss. It could be said that "something is missing"- yes - but more like - something has never existed. More important -- they cannot be helped. 👀 (A garden variety criminal has a chance to change - the narc --- no way.)
Wonderful video Andrew, thank you. I am a bit speechless right now. I walked over to my condo window and saw the narc drive around the loop in front of the building then paused because the garage door was open and I know he saw my car parked in it then slowly drove away. I saw his dog and out of state license plates. Narc lives over 500 some miles away, He rang my condo buzzer earlier this month on the 8th. At least the freak didn’t stop…. Not good for my healing… what a jerk!!!
Be one step ahead lock garage door ,they like to be nosey,don't answer the door ,but if he continues or starts to harass you call the police on him,he is also trespassing if he is coming up to your door or driveway ,,Stay Safe,they like to use fear tactics,,wishing you all the very BEST,,my first husband was like this,👉❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🫂
I eventually went to the court and obtained a restraining order. (my ex narc was doing the very same thing) Sometimes the message needs to come from a third party. The Court. Cowards and bullies with the vulnerable. They don't get the message. However, once we take the right action to protect ourselves things change immediately. Blessings to you and good luck! Much love ♥
@@lourdesecheverria6209i did too many times it works and then again as nothing happened had to call police again and I did after long period of time and insults come into my front door .They have zero shame for actions
I once said: "It feels as if you're hooking your caboose to my engine instead of having your own -- slowing me down & inhibiting my progress..." She accused me of 'being selfish & self-centered' -- after already helping re-write her resume several times AND trying to help her start two (unsuccessful) businesses... #Usery & #Sabotage: NOW...i get it. 🤬 (Plus: she used to call me "the IT guy" when I was actually one of the youngest IT-execs ever at my top-tier org. #Devaluation at its best...)
I never understood "Projection" till it was in my face. Pretty obvious, someone had called her "Self-centered" in the past and she couldn't wait to use those words. It rots in the bag of denial.
Narcissist's are greedy for attention. Posting selfies, with love songs in their stories. Having way too many forms of social media. No loyalty in their relationships at all. You can get over them in time once you realize how fake they are. But once you get through it, be careful meeting new people because that seems to be when you will run into more narcissist. Best advice I can give is once you know they are truly a Narcissist, don't expect anything real from them. They may be there for a few fun times with you, but if there is something serious to deal with just know they not gonna be there to help out. Not even emotionally. Think of them as a sports car that you use once in while for fun. And realize they will not be like the comfortable luxury car you use everyday for comfort, & dependability. Stay strong everyone ❤
I truly believe the discard phase followed with 15:50 the smear campaign is showing you who the narcissist really is. Yes, she is an evil toxic individual. The key to healing is embracing her discard and smearing was her true self.
Really enjoyed this video! During the lovebomb stage, narcissists will do/say anything to coax you into sharing with them your most personal information, maybe something traumatic, humiliating or shameful, that you only shared with your spouse, a close family member or no-one else. They even share their really "personal" nonsense with you, as if they're being equally vulnerable. Then during devaluation, they not only use your info against you but tell it to everyone you know and people you don't. Whatever they think of you, they want everyone else to think even less...
Yes! So correct. I can’t believe I was so gullible. He really was too good to be true. We exchanged sensitive stories about childhood. (As we’d found our soul mates.) He told me early on he’d been depressed and had two weeks off work. I felt sorry for this ‘sensitive soul’. Years later (due to the pressures of the relationship) I went on antidepressants. I was berated several times…and really badly and cruelly…at the end for being depressed. No support at all. I was in a really, really bad way. This is when I had to get out to save myself. He also must have passed on a sensitive story from childhood to my family member. (This is something I’ve never told anyone but him. ) After I left him she brought it up, laughing at me (and has probably told other people). This is smear campaign tactics. It has also revealed to me another heartless narcissist. ❤
@@CelestialHunter1270 Thank you so much! 🙏 Yes, for anyone else out there who was like me, we were strong to put up with all that for so long. And when in such a depleted state found the strength to get out. Peace and blessings to you. ❤
Wow this video blew my mind Andrew, brilliant!! Absolutely spot on with everything you said, even how they twist the knife at the discard. Mine hooked up with an old g/f from 42 years before. I found out she has property and that figures cause he is a bum and always will be. Cannot hold onto money for two minutes.
If anyone still has a doubt, it should be clear as water, that the more we refuse to free ourselves and give up on the effort of rekindling the "Love Bomb" and go on working and pleading and begging to be loved by the narc the more pathetic we will be perceived and the more disdain we will experience from the narc. The only respect you and/or I, will get from the narc is when we move on, heal and prove to the narc that we have survived and thrived, despite of who they are and what was done to us. The answer remains the same, if you recognize it, run in the opposite direction and avoid ALL CONTACT no matter what. Blessings to all! ♥
@@jhavajoe3792 Just the Cliff Notes of the video....what I got loud and clear...Hope you're having a wonderful Friday eve. I am. It is nice to just BE.❤
Thank You Andrew 🙏i went though a depressed stage, if it wasn’t for me pets I probably wouldn’t get out of bed. Learned lesson. The best revenge is going forward with my life and be happy. Namaste 🙏
You wanna know something so strange...to a normal person, (let's say a healthy person) is I have been gone...on my way mostly, but left them behind...finally! And I am still hearing about gossip about me. I haven't talked to them; main person in about 5 years; the rest about 3 years. I am sooooo important, I must be because....hahahaha; they don't have ANYTHING BETTER TO DO! AMEN!!!!❤❤❤❤❤ And I am living my best life possible! Ty all, ty Andrew....I am not done yet....but I'm outta DODGE! WOOHOO!❤❤❤❤❤
Mine comes home to tell me all the things people are saying about me. I said, Wow I have not been there for years I must be legend. He don't try that any more lol.
@@deztherrien8700 YESSSSS....it's great to be nice and comfy at home; and yet I have a reputation that even superheroes couldn't keep up with!!! 🤣🤣🤣 our reputations are preceding us!!! Too much, how board are they? Hahaha!!!
My saving grace is that I had an awesome spouse who passed away young. Although I didn’t know what a narcissist was, I learned and realized that there was a difference. Narcs are pure evil.
So spot on. Thank God I never paid for anything. In the love bombing stage he paid for everything, meals, road trips and fuel. I thank God everyday that it only lasted 4 months. I couldn't imagine people who endured a lifetime with these people. Only God and these videos saved me!
I didn't want to break up but I had no choice because there was no joy left. Only Yelling .All of the time . Insults all of the time. Zero affection. That's no fun.
Even my new job was an opportunity for my ex narcissist friend to get a free supply of pop corn and grass seeds as I travel to agricultural processing plants around the county
I moved out, put in the healing work, and was smiling & glowing. A few months later, I thought I could handle hanging out with him for the weekend. Now I'm back to feeling depressed, anxious & weak. I can't stand the thought of never talking to him again. But I know he's no good for me, my health, my mind, my soul, and my finances. I don't know what else to say except I'm too embarrassed to tell my family about it. Please pray for my strength in doing what I need to do🙏 Thank you
Then in the post discard the Narcissist is in Fear of being exposed by the person they abused. They can never live a life. Always looking for their Downfalls, over their shoulders.
I am on the very advanced awakened victim. And I have experienced it all with the master Narc I was with. It is so hard. To grapple with. Thank you so much ❤
I’m still halfway through the video.. but just had to say, Andrew I think you’d be a good author .. in particular, I think you’d be able to write a great and easy to understand children’s book on narcissism.. and if one day that happens.. that book should be in EVERY school library .. and used to teach narcissism in EVERY primary school WORLDWIDE.
Two narcs( one a boyfriend and one my adopted mother) who I had not seen for a long time both gave me this what I call a wry sort of half smile . They did not see me looking at them , (separate circumstances ) ,I have never really understood what this sort of cynical look meant but it was uncanny how similar the look was. I think it was all to do with the deception they knew they were aware of .
You are correct, it no longer matters. Additionally, the opinions of other narcissists no longer matters. The only opinion that matters is mine because I know my heart; I know my value. Why care about what they think? I certainly don't! I hope that we will all get to that place and understand how special you are! YOU ARE!!!
Being out of the narcissistic fog, almost 5 months blocked and no contact, I see so many things I hadn't before. Still having many realizations about things he did. He is nothing more than a con man. A lot of the things you mention in this video are exactly what went on between him and I. So blessed that I saw the light and cut his sorry butt loose.
The longest I went no contact with him is 7 weeks. I hope to get to 5 months. I think I will since now I've accepted he's highly narcissistic. It's been 3 weeks so far this round of NC.
I did it. I walked away from (her) a gas lighting narcissist. Almost 3 months ago. It’s impossible to do it alone. Your videos are crucial in understanding and bolstering my resolve. Thank you for your clarity and commitment to helping victims of a narcissist.
Gosh. It is so painful... I took me years to discover narcissists in my closest cycle and recover from having been abused by them. It's been a tough journey. And my best remedy was not to keep contact as much as possible even if completely broken inside never to come to them for a help, a kind word or a hug, they would not do that! Be focus on YOURSELF, no matter what it takes. God bless you! Thank you Andrew! ❤ I am still recovering
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤... I never had a clue what narcissists existed until she took my grandbabies and ran with them. That intense pain was the start of my waking up and suddenly TH-cam was showing me what a narcissist was. It was mind boggling .. now shes holding the grandbabies hostage as i am headed to the attorneys as i write.... I will fight that demon and lay down the law of grandparents rights in all fifty states. We all know they hate they legal system. She abandoned her first two children.. we are 🙏 she follows her same suit...
Post divorce 3 years, so I've worked hard to get rid of this narcissist. I'll consider the trauma bond completely broken when I no longer watch videos attempting to understand how I lost 22 years of my life.
I loved a fake ilusions and believed a fake promises in the end actions were more horrific .What they think is not important it is important to work on yourself every day
🎉 hook line and sinker yep . I'm a lover not a fighter 🎉 his a fighter not a lover 🎉 So we never really had a peaceful life .. Devaluation stage is really yuk . He thru me out the car window like a(not literally)piece of paper screwed up and left me on the highway. Now my health has improved and now I've healed .I'm the happiest. Contented I've ever been . And learning things everyday is so rewarding ❤💚🌻
I finally woke up and realized that some of my ex-narc’s Hoovers were just mass texts that he was probably sending to his entire supply list. And I thought this man was the love of my life. He let me believe that the relationship was real so he could have me emotionally on the hook for years and years. At the time of the final devalue/discard, I was so physically exhausted. I was putting on weight, lethargic, and I couldn’t figure out why. The first few weeks it was over, I just felt so much relief.
Your hair looks great! You look great and thank you so very much. You’ve helped me sooooooo much. If you only knew….❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏so grateful I found your channel!
On Andrew's advice I blocked yet one more narcissist. Sure enough today he sent the cops to do a welfare check, but with one significant alteration. This time the cop didn't preach at me how concerned the narcissist was about me breaking contact, or that I might be isolating or some other equivalent yoga-babble.
Exactly as it is ...but better: as it was!! Now I'm out - see the Matrix, processed it, within myself! Took me almost 4 years - still there are Triggers around - but I^m over it! myself again - only stronger and better! Thank you so much for butting all this Videos out - that helped me so much! Always...Love...
Your Awesome Dude!!! My thanks to you for All of the Help that you have given me. I left my Narsasistic wife back in March 19,2023 and today for the first day since I left her I had to see her at our daughter's school and she didn't look at my eye's she instead looked Down. It felt Amazing thank you Andrew. My attorney say's that I should be divorced God-Willing by this December the latest. Thank you again for everything that you have done for me. If there is ever a way I can ever help you reach out I'm there buddy.
10 years married to a narc. We started a business together. The narc has caused the business to go bankrupt due to money mismanagement. Fast forward: It seems like overnight the business went under. The narc lost all business contracts. The narc got arrested with a felony, the narc has prostate cancer & wears depends. I thank the Lord for watching over me while I was in the fog. The ditch the narc dug for me- he fell in it.
It's impossible for a healthy person to understand what a narcissist is without this type of information Andrew delivers on the daily. Thank you for stepping up and helping humanity, Andrew, we appreciate you.
Welcome 💯🙏😌🙌
I thought about you Andrew- I saw a Crime program. Jennifer’s Law.
A Mother was killed in-front of her children by Separated Husband.
The Children Spoke and said -
They Should Teach this In School! Red Flags- And Toxic Narcissists!
Hope you can do this!🥰
@@jennyferguson5583 I totally agree that we need to have this information taught at all levels of school. I would like to see this offered at workplaces for personal development and better functioning of places of work.
I've heard it said in rare cases God can change a narcissist. The one I had been dealing with did not change and I don't have the time to wait for his epiphany.
@@GeorgeFetzJrMiracles can happen but very rare
The narcissist weakness is that they can’t understand the strength of an empathetic person. Thank you Andrew
And each time we are forced into solitude because we can't just instantly replace that person like they can. In solitude we can gain strength and understanding. They never do this. We can self improve. We can learn and grow. We can learn from our mistakes. Because that's all they were really.
@@sjla2009 Exactly, words of wisdom and power
And a 'community' of decent folk?
Yes, so true...I failed to add (in my post above) I am an educated empath💎💎💎
Yes we have the strength and we learn and introspect,and evolve,,the Narcissist can't do this,, 👉🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️lots love to you all here😊
Took me 7 years to get over her COMPLETELY. She threw me away like used toilet paper after 25 years and me raising our (her) 3 kids.
Thank you , Andrew for your videos, I'm sure they (the videos) are helping people every day like they have helped me. God Bless you.
I felt like a used coffee cup thrown out of a car. Now, I realize that the car was not where I wanted to be.
I’ve landed in an idyllic fixer-upper where I can breathe, thrive and grow myself safely.
I understand, I worked hard for everything he wanted and raised an adopted son with him...26 years married, 2 years dating, 2 years getting through the divorce! Healed and alive in my hometown since college! Met a wonderful man in February in this town, and we are proud of each other!
Og! 7 years! All my heart is schocked... Praying for your state and life forward ❤️🌹❤️🌹
I have had 5 years separation 20 years raised two children .I ran the house and the farm .she was living the life sending me broke .I was discarded as well she alienated the children from me .Andrew you have such an understanding of these evil people .
There is no one on TH-cam or anywhere else that explains it better than Andrew. I was in a long term relationship with a narcissist and am still on my healing path. Nothing feels better than being able to be myself again and not have to hide anymore. I watch these videos constantly and have also had the privilege of working with Andrew one on one. So if you need to find your path to healing and you're here, you've found it ❤ I'm sorry if I sound vague I just don't want to share my personal details but I can say from experience, this is a safe place
Thank you for sharing this message of inspiration and healing..🙏😌❤️🙌
Thank you for sharing 🤗
I believe he has the talent and upper level ability to "Reverse Engineer" the whole
non-material event, piece by piece to understand what happened. To share it
openly makes us so very lucky.
YESSSSS, true and correct!
Narcissist chronicles is great too! Namaste and all the best for you in your journey
He could put me down with a compliment.
I told him I was rising above the pain he caused & refused to hold on to the trauma from him. This is my 4th week of 0 contact.
Thank you Andrew. God bless you too 🙏🏼
Wonderful!!! 👍
Blessings🎀😘
The ol' Back handed compliment thing. The Narc is always afraid, you'll see what you're really worth and they'll lose control.
Stay strong! Don’t let it break you; LET IT MAKE YOU!
@@jhavajoe3792hardcore truth
😊😊😊😊 four weeks!!
When you are dealing with a narcissist going no contact and staying silent will always keep you moving forward...
I love in the end when you said, "What does the narcissist really think about you? Actually doesn't matter". Powerful truth.
For those still healing... I have been out of the relationship for several years. I am healed. You can do it. You will see the narcissist entirely different. You will see the truth. You will want nothing to do with them. You will go back to who you were before you met them. But you will be stronger & so much wiser. You will see people & things differently. Things become crystal clear that never were before. Keep going. The mountain top is closer then you think.
Thank you Andrew for shedding so much light on this subject. You're a good man 🙂. Another excellent video. Have a good evening. God's blessings to you ☀️☀️☀️
@@odeyinkamotunrayo4789 You are so welcome 🙂. Take care. God bless
Thank you for your encouriging words
@@rhododendrons_509 You are welcome 🙂. God bless
Profound words.....ty ty!!!! Finally healing....finally. and you're right you don't view them the same. Not even attractive
..bc I saw his soul and it is black!
@@flyawaybutterflyhealingchannel Thank you & you're welcome 🙂. Glad to hear you are healing 🙂. It will only get better & better over time. Take care 🙂 God bless 🙂☀️☀️
The narc also thought I was stupid! I was not stupid, but I was niave and believed in the fairy tale that society teaches us to believe in "happily ever after." Prince charming and Cinderella and happily ever after don't exist. All relationships/marriage/friendship requires effort, working and commitment, and mutual cooperation, respect, honesty, communication, and real affection. I am glad that I have awakened from my niave delusion. I'm glad I'm no longer in the narcissistic relationship. 😊
Hi Mary...yes, a lot of us were sold the fairytale...only to walk off the plank into reality....and ouch...it HURT!!!
🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 I love your description...walking the plank...yes it is very painful 💔 lesson but we survived and are stronger 💪 for having gone through it.
Focus on your dreams, focus on what you want for yourself.What do you want to change? What do you need to give up, in order to create a fulfilling life?
It doesn't matter what the narcissist thinks about you, you have to find your own personality again. Be brave, it's worth it!
Thank you very much, Andrew ❤🦄
Amen Amen. Every word you say...we must JUST DO IT.
👍👍👍👍👍
Yes, this is what it comes down to.
As Andrew says "If not now when?" 🎀😘
Very inspiring message, Lio, thank you! I hope you are well, making progress with healing, and enjoying life! With love, Holly ❤️🙏☀️🌷🌻🌺🌿🍀😊
@@hollylorn131Thank you Holly,
everything is ok, I hope the same for you. Have a beautiful weekend!❤🍁🍂🍃
If this were the only video you had ever made, Andrew, it would have been enough. I think I'll watch it every day now, and I need it every day. Healing from narcissistic abuse sounds to me something like trying to heal from alcohol or drug abuse...you have to tell yourself every day that being in the grips of the thing is killing you. I pray especially for those who are unable to get away. Thank you.
😇🥰🙏
Thankyou 😢
We have to stay away from these people sdw 9 4 82
The discard phase started right after we married and we moved into his house. We first had a long distance relationship for five years and I knew I made a mistake within a few days after our move but did not know back then he was a narcissist. I even called his mother for help. She appears to be a narcissist too. It took me five more years to figure out the situation would never improve. We (me and my two daughters) escaped hell a year ago and are still healing… it is still painful but also I am grateful for the wisdom, happiness and freedom now in my life. Thank you Andrew for your sharing your wisdom❤
Wow and Yay.
The devil never comes with a pitchfork and horns. They come as every thing you ever wanted!!!
So true he was in a dump. Two kids and 25k in-debt. Good riddance.
@war. They always have kids all over the place !
😢@@HuHWhat-yi8cp
True, in all those years he was not using my name. Not even a pet name. I used his name. He barely talked to me. Hair like that suits you. You have changed and it is great to see.
Today I also realized how I have changed. I have been watching these videos for over 2 years as I also have an adult son who is a narcissist and was threatening me lying and manipulating me wanting my home. He used his children to manipulate my emotions. It is going to be 3 years since he is out of my life. That was very painful. He was my only child. I never want to see him as long as I live. I love my quiet happiness, gardening, nature, and peaceful existence grateful for getting my wisdom. Thanks.
Take care❤ those are very difficult decisions but a narcissist in your life is a living hell. My mother and brother are both narcissists and going no contact is the only way to survive.
No pet name, never called me by MY NAME either, ie NOT A PERSON. A "non-entity" entirely. Noticed this early on. So....MANY...red....flags!! Completely deplorable!
That must have been truly strange. May your first name be used well into your future.
@@kathleencondit1660 thank you Kathleen 🩷
This is exactly why Im better off alone. Im too busy healing and finally practicing self care to deal with the narcissist anymore.
😌😌
Yes, brother, you are hitting every stage of dealing with a Narc.
Narc is the best word. Just like Special agent Utah. They pretend to pretend.. but they really suck... and are working for someone else to take you down.
Andrew, I listen to you daily-usually when I’m in the kitchen cooking or cleaning. This is one of the most powerful shares from you I’ve heard this year. The way you describe the discard-how the person loses health, finances, all resources and abilities….it’s *shocking* to me how textbook these process are! When you are the discard, you feel so alone and disconnected. Unloved was my main emotion. Knowing that there is a definite “way” and predictable strategy and actual gameplan for how the narcissist operates… it’s truly baffling. Thanks for all you do!
Welcome..💯🙏❤️🙌
What's wrong with me that I didn't see this in my own mother for 47 years?
My sisters saw this at age 18 and 24, when they left home. They actually probably were aware of this earlier.
I went on to have narc after narc in every prominent relationship, friendship, boss, my own kid...
Am I just stupid? Is it borderline personality disorder (which I have and getting help for now)?
My mother literally called me pathetic. It was one of the things that woke me up. The other was when she told me not to kill myself until she has gone. Seems I was just her pawn to be used for her gain and to give her a boost in her life. What a terrible thing to do to your own kid.
Nothing was wrong with you. You've lived your life as a good person. It took me over 60 years to realize what my siblings were. I was confused for a very long time. Then, I learned a huge Life lesson. It doesn't matter how long it takes. What matters is that we learn. We wake up.
@kathleencondit1660 thankyou yes, I suppose wasting one more minute feeling bad about myself is the only crime here. 😔👍
I am now 63, & I only just realized that my mother and sisters were all covert narcs. The penny finally dropped. My mother died four years ago, and I felt absolutely nothing.
You might want to see if your a high masking nerodevergent instead of BPD it's a common mistake these shrinks make.
@@Greenleafroad I don't fit any of those descriptions but do fit BPD
Great info. The world is becoming more narcissistic. Very difficult for one who has been trampled over to know the difference. Thanks for sharing
Welcome 🙏💯😌
Yes it is. Escalated over the past 30 years 😮 it's unbelievable 😢
After my partner discarded me, I accused him of probably having someone else. He flatly denied it, but he was far to protective of his phone, and was definitely up to no good . I hind sight it is a good thing he left when he did, even though it broke me, as I really loved him, I couldn’t take anymore lies, gaslighting and secretive behaviour. It was destroying me .
I hear you, well done💎💎💎...I know far too well about the gas-lighting & secret behaviour. xXx
I discovered that my ex-narc had a secret Tinder profile the whole time we were together. He had another girlfriend less than 2 months after I left him for the last time. He Hoovered me about 7 months later and accidentally said another woman’s name. That’s when he admitted that he was still in a relationship with her.
It’s just an endless cycle of using people for him. It’s 100 percent different than what I believed about him when I was falling in love. 😔
It is so difficult coming to terms with the fact that these individuals don't care about us and never did. It hurts beyond measure, but at least we are getting the wisdom. The healing is so challenging. I pray to reach indifference someday soon. Thank you, Andrew! 🙏
You will reach indifference . Trust me. Also, it really isn’t personal as they do this to EVERYONE.
What is this indeifference?@@KarinStrong-k4j
I've broken it in 4 months 😊 and I'm proud of myself ❤
I'm proud of you too! 👍
Blessings 🎀😘
I look at narcissists as like robots; they are fake people with no real emotions, so anything they are giving off, you know now that it is fake, don't react to it, and do not worry about hurting their feelings. They have no feelings to hurt, and they will try again to get the attention they desire. Do the same without reaction; they do not care, and eventually they will just give up trying and move on, but do not give in to their fake attention tactics and think it means anything to them. They are emotionless robots.
Yes- programmed to Use you or anyone.🤖
My Narc friend was brilliant at copying accents. After learning this stuff I realised, if he can fake that so we'll then he can fake anything
@capt. Theres so many of them !
@@HuHWhat-yi8cp I know that is right I am dealing with one at my work place. I am finally done with it, she can not affect me no more. I found out today that she has another supply, because when I am around where she is at and she knows I am around she is all business she try's to hide the fact she has other people supplying her needs well today as I was leaving I had to go back into the office and she was talking to someone that I have never seen her talking to before so it is good to know that she knows now that I know her game is up.
@@capt.obvious4487 Yep - always "networking" looking for more supply ! Good job Capt'n ! Haul up that that anchor & set sail ! ⛵
They think everyone is naive... 🙄 Great Talk Andrew!
Keep Speaking The Truth
We were just a beautiful color they picked out for their crayon box!
Hang in & heal....it takes time & education.
Blessings 🎀😘
HAD to stop the video at “ THE NARCISSIST NEVER CALLED MY NAME !! 😮. 27 years married and only today I find out why he did this ! I had no idea this is part of narcissistic behavior! Out of the fog (discarded) since Dec. 2022 moving on . Thanks Andrew😊
Thank you Andrew for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I’m now living my best life after over 50 years of being in ‘the fog’. I knew something was amiss but couldn’t figure it out until I googled ‘the silent treatment’. You popped up and educated me, It was scary. My mantra is now -mind over matter, I don’t mind because he doesn’t matter. I come first, second and third and live for today. The time I have left on this earth is for me to live my best life. Thanks to you Andrew and everyone who contributes to this channel.
Your “mind over matter” conceptualization really resonates!! Additionally, IMHO, learning/implementing the wisdom and living our best lives are the highest forms of reclamation and redemption from the narcissistic trauma.
Andrew you are 💯💯 spot on‼️ My heart breaks knowing you, me and way too many others and their families experienced this evil. We are strong now and healing every day.🌹🌸🌺🌼
I recently connected with an old friend I hadn't seen for 50 Years - The first few times we Got Together Were Great - But then on subsequent visits, I started receiving Insults and Criticisms - as time rolled on the Insults and Criticisms Increased - I Knew This Behavior Was Wrong - Thank God For Videos Like This I Learned FAST - I have had COMPLETE NO CONTACT for 2 months and Will Continue This Forever
Beautiful message of growth..😌🙏💯
You dodged a not so "nice try" -- well done ! - Bad people test out whith whom they can make it, who would let the sh ,,,t happen, who is helpless enough, who is well behaved.
Painful. So painful. I was discarded after three years of abuse. I don't think I'm going to make it honestly.
Yes you will make it......keep listening to Andrew .....or maybe it would be better to speak to him privately.......I promise you Andrew will help you tremendously......please let him help you 🙏
I found at the worst time that some good company with decent folks (ring/text: "I could really use some company at the moment, please".. ), and keeping busy relieved the terrible pain somewhat. Volunteer? You'll meet people, be busy, maybe even support others..
You must and you will 🙏 my prayers are with you x
34 years of abuse…
I am 60 years old and I have managed my life until most recently when I finally realized how my life has evolved to 4 generations of narcissism. right now I feel like I am in a set back where I may have a degree of depression. I have build a great life with a great career, great safe home life, a few nice friends but I think I may be sinking into a recluse lifestyle and I dont want that but perhaps for now I need to just take advantage of it and surround myself in this safe environment
Recluse life isn't so bad.❣️
They try to make it look like you're chasing them when you might not have any thoughts about them, and they're in pursuit of you long before you know it. They'll literally ask you out and you'll say no, and they'll still act like you're desperate for them. Whatever doesn't make sense, that's what they do.
😌😌💯
What was missing all these years were people who understood. Andrew opened doors to perception where I didn't even know there were doors! The community sharing their experiences were ( are ) healing in a big way. What do Narcs think of me? That will be way down the line in my list of priority concerns-- at the bottom count of a billion people. Have a Great Day, Evening, Morning !🌅🌛🌌👍
TH-cam is a beautiful school.
The classmates are a pleasure to learn from.
Jhavajoe3792
I did the discard. With Andrews help. I broke the trauma bond. YOU CAN TOO. Yes it was difficult. You can do it. I remember looking at "suggestive photos" I had been texted. Eventually I noticed the room she was in was not the place she lived in. They were recycled photos.
Sometimes, kids are just like them. Newbies...run!❣️
My conclusion about the toxic person/relationship I removed myself is: they have an extremely lowself esteem. They think all ladies is naive....they absolutely need other people to get enery to try and live a mask natural life. When Andrew started this video it sounded as if he was reading my diary, description of the narc. Thank you Andrew for your commitment to share your wisdom with us daily.😊
I knew early on in the relationship that something was off and didn’t feel quite right. Truth be told l abandoned a wonderful healthy loving marriage for years of abuse. I felt like I had made my bed and and had to sleep in it. I learned how to loathe myself with lots of encouragement from the narc. I made a mistake and believed I deserved being treated like an idiot.
32 yrs later my eyes are open and I’m in the process of finalizing a divorce. I blame myself for tolerating all the years of emotional abuse. I am moving on and I will survive. Thanks for all the encouragement and pep talks.
Ordinary people make mistakes. Narcs generate things beyond mistakes,i.e., keeping an old wound infected. Self- loathing and self blame is increased and sustained when you're being Keelhauled repeatedly, under their dark vessel. Smoother sailing ahead for you and all the best!
So spot on Andrew ❤ Unless you've been through this abuse, people don't get it. Brutally discarded by my husband of 12 years. A coworker of course. He has called me " honey " for 12 years and hes calling his new supply the same thing 🤷♀️
I appreciate you Andrew
This is so accurate.
Funny 😁 the Narcissit is always single when you meet them ?
Yesss
I did it Andrew so much thank you😅
There is truth to everything you say. There was a constant end game and the relationship had an absolute discard point pre-planned. Beware of someone who can throw you away for nothing. They are using power to grind you down. To take your personality and peices of you as you feel forced to walk around on eggshells. Don't let them do this. You can lose yourself like I did.
Thank you for this beautiful picturesque location for this message.
Welcome 🌳🌲☀️🍁❤️
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAloneI’m happy for your being in this nice environment
Sadly, it takes having been enmeshed in a relationship with a narcissist to understand the depths of evil. Our friends and family are not equipped to deal with the devastating effects that a narcissistic relationship has had on our minds, body, soul, and spirit.
🙏💯😌
I never saw it coming...a great test and reminder to put God/divine Self before anything else...I put him on a pedestal and thought he was my divine counterpart until I realised that it was a mask and there were layers of betrayal, lies, distrust, manipulation and the anger. The hardest thing has been to trust my intuition and body and all these messages without doubting them and to know that I deserve better.
💯💯😌🙏
Thanks , the Narcissist is one nasty beast.
😌🙏💯
Yes they certinally Hand Picked us, for the beauty they saw in us , kind authentic, compassionate Souls,, pray , meditate, and get that beautiful light on again,,keep busy and do the work to Heal,,You all Deserve to have a good Abundant and meaningfull life,,,The narc will never change ,just put them out of your mind,, we fell for a Fake REALITY,love and strength and light and ,Blessings Sent,,👉🕯️🙏🕯️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️t.y.Andrew 🤍
@@ESSIEMARIE1998hello dear Essie Hope you are well lots love,🫂👉🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️🌺🌾☘️
Luv 👍
🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534yea hello ,hope your keeping well,lots love sent,👉❤️❤️❤️🙏🫂☘️🌺🕯️
You are the first person on you tube to point out the pet name!!!!!! They use pet names so they do not call the wrong name and ...like you said they do not want to think or work too hard. Spoke 100% truth in this video! thank you sharing
after it was all over I think back and just can't believe I didn't see it all in my face, so blatant. I actually feel embarrassed that I was played and taken for being a sucker. Never again though! Oh! Also one of her favorite songs was called "fake love". I didn't know then but I know why now.
How ironic of a song title right???
Blessings
🎀😘
@mic. He saw a fanciful figurine I have of a fox dressed in a coat walking upright & carrying a walking stick, stared at it & remarked "He's pretending." Now, the narc is verrry robotic in always having to identify simple objects & make a statement ie "thats a coffee maker" & will often physically shy away when not able to identify objects ( control perception & conversation ) Or, if mistakes a juice machine for a coffee maker will become overtly angry or deflated or... settle that one with you later ! Back to the fox figurine - he knew it was like him - an animal pretending to be human...a "reflex machine." < The Mask of Sanity - a book by Hervey Cleckly. (Another good book is People of the Lie - Scott Peck.)
The moment with the fox - it was like time stood still & it was all out in the open - the void/abyss. It could be said that "something is missing"- yes - but more like - something has never existed. More important -- they cannot be helped. 👀 (A garden variety criminal has a chance to change - the narc --- no way.)
Wonderful video Andrew, thank you. I am a bit speechless right now. I walked over to my condo window and saw the narc drive around the loop in front of the building then paused because the garage door was open and I know he saw my car parked in it then slowly drove away. I saw his dog and out of state license plates. Narc lives over 500 some miles away, He rang my condo buzzer earlier this month on the 8th. At least the freak didn’t stop…. Not good for my healing… what a jerk!!!
No it's not! It sounds like God is giving you a heads up to be ahead of the situation.
Blessings & Stay Safe!
🎀😘
Be one step ahead lock garage door ,they like to be nosey,don't answer the door ,but if he continues or starts to harass you call the police on him,he is also trespassing if he is coming up to your door or driveway ,,Stay Safe,they like to use fear tactics,,wishing you all the very BEST,,my first husband was like this,👉❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🫂
I eventually went to the court and obtained a restraining order. (my ex narc was doing the very same thing) Sometimes the message needs to come from a third party. The Court. Cowards and bullies with the vulnerable. They don't get the message. However, once we take the right action to protect ourselves things change immediately. Blessings to you and good luck! Much love ♥
@@lourdesecheverria6209i did too many times it works and then again as nothing happened had to call police again and I did after long period of time and insults come into my front door .They have zero shame for actions
I once said: "It feels as if you're hooking your caboose to my engine instead of having your own -- slowing me down & inhibiting my progress..."
She accused me of 'being selfish & self-centered' -- after already helping re-write her resume several times AND trying to help her start two (unsuccessful) businesses...
#Usery & #Sabotage: NOW...i get it. 🤬
(Plus: she used to call me "the IT guy" when I was actually one of the youngest IT-execs ever at my top-tier org. #Devaluation at its best...)
I never understood "Projection" till it was in my face. Pretty obvious, someone had called her "Self-centered" in the past and she couldn't wait to use those words.
It rots in the bag of denial.
Narcissist's are greedy for attention. Posting selfies, with love songs in their stories. Having way too many forms of social media. No loyalty in their relationships at all. You can get over them in time once you realize how fake they are. But once you get through it, be careful meeting new people because that seems to be when you will run into more narcissist. Best advice I can give is once you know they are truly a Narcissist, don't expect anything real from them. They may be there for a few fun times with you, but if there is something serious to deal with just know they not gonna be there to help out. Not even emotionally. Think of them as a sports car that you use once in while for fun. And realize they will not be like the comfortable luxury car you use everyday for comfort, & dependability. Stay strong everyone ❤
Oh my "princess" was the pet name and I saw his fb page years later and there was his new "princess". Nailing it Andrew.
I truly believe the discard phase followed with 15:50 the smear campaign is showing you who the narcissist really is. Yes, she is an evil toxic individual. The key to healing is embracing her discard and smearing was her true self.
I'm breaking the trauma-bond.🙏
Really enjoyed this video! During the lovebomb stage, narcissists will do/say anything to coax you into sharing with them your most personal information, maybe something traumatic, humiliating or shameful, that you only shared with your spouse, a close family member or no-one else. They even share their really "personal" nonsense with you, as if they're being equally vulnerable. Then during devaluation, they not only use your info against you but tell it to everyone you know and people you don't. Whatever they think of you, they want everyone else to think even less...
Yes! So correct. I can’t believe I was so gullible. He really was too good to be true. We exchanged sensitive stories about childhood. (As we’d found our soul mates.) He told me early on he’d been depressed and had two weeks off work. I felt sorry for this ‘sensitive soul’. Years later (due to the pressures of the relationship) I went on antidepressants. I was berated several times…and really badly and cruelly…at the end for being depressed. No support at all. I was in a really, really bad way. This is when I had to get out to save myself.
He also must have passed on a sensitive story from childhood to my family member. (This is something I’ve never told anyone but him. ) After I left him she brought it up, laughing at me (and has probably told other people). This is smear campaign tactics. It has also revealed to me another heartless narcissist. ❤
@@freebird968-wg4ye You're not gullible, it wasn't your fault, all the shame is on them. You're very strong💪🙏🕊
@@CelestialHunter1270 Thank you so much! 🙏 Yes, for anyone else out there who was like me, we were strong to put up with all that for so long. And when in such a depleted state found the strength to get out. Peace and blessings to you. ❤
Ooh yes! Sooo true!
Wow this video blew my mind Andrew, brilliant!!
Absolutely spot on with everything you said, even how they twist the knife at the discard. Mine hooked up with an old g/f from 42 years before. I found out she has property and that figures cause he is a bum and always will be. Cannot hold onto money for two minutes.
Thank you 😌🙏💯🙌❤️
If anyone still has a doubt, it should be clear as water, that the more we refuse to free ourselves and give up on the effort of rekindling the "Love Bomb" and go on working and pleading and begging to be loved by the narc the more pathetic we will be perceived and the more disdain we will experience from the narc. The only respect you and/or I, will get from the narc is when we move on, heal and prove to the narc that we have survived and thrived, despite of who they are and what was done to us. The answer remains the same, if you recognize it, run in the opposite direction and avoid ALL CONTACT no matter what. Blessings to all! ♥
TRUTH!!! 👍
🎀😘
So well said. Thank you.
As usual- Another Great comment!👍
@@jhavajoe3792 Just the Cliff Notes of the video....what I got loud and clear...Hope you're having a wonderful Friday eve. I am. It is nice to just BE.❤
Thank You Andrew 🙏i went though a depressed stage, if it wasn’t for me pets I probably wouldn’t get out of bed. Learned lesson. The best revenge is going forward with my life and be happy. Namaste 🙏
Without a doubt! 👍
Healing & Blessings
🎀😘
You wanna know something so strange...to a normal person, (let's say a healthy person) is I have been gone...on my way mostly, but left them behind...finally! And I am still hearing about gossip about me. I haven't talked to them; main person in about 5 years; the rest about 3 years. I am sooooo important, I must be because....hahahaha; they don't have ANYTHING BETTER TO DO!
AMEN!!!!❤❤❤❤❤
And I am living my best life possible! Ty all, ty Andrew....I am not done yet....but I'm outta DODGE! WOOHOO!❤❤❤❤❤
Mine comes home to tell me all the things people are saying about me. I said, Wow I have not been there for years I must be legend. He don't try that any more lol.
@@deztherrien8700 YESSSSS....it's great to be nice and comfy at home; and yet I have a reputation that even superheroes couldn't keep up with!!!
🤣🤣🤣 our reputations are preceding us!!! Too much, how board are they? Hahaha!!!
What they think about me is wrong and none of my business. Namaste.
They think nothing of you, you are just a source to those evil vampires, of course you are all very special people in reality❤❤❤
😌💯💯🙏
My saving grace is that I had an awesome spouse who passed away young. Although I didn’t know what a narcissist was, I learned and realized that there was a difference. Narcs are pure evil.
ANDREW SAVED ME ❤️ 💙 💜
🙏🙌💪💯
❤️🔥💫✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️💫❤️🔥
So spot on. Thank God I never paid for anything. In the love bombing stage he paid for everything, meals, road trips and fuel. I thank God everyday that it only lasted 4 months. I couldn't imagine people who endured a lifetime with these people. Only God and these videos saved me!
I didn't want to break up but I had no choice because there was no joy left. Only Yelling .All of the time . Insults all of the time. Zero affection. That's no fun.
💯💯🙏
Yes!
Their tank is bottomless.
Try as we might to fill it!
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Even my new job was an opportunity for my ex narcissist friend to get a free supply of pop corn and grass seeds as I travel to agricultural processing plants around the county
Sometimes stuff they give you is stolen.
Great video Andrew!
Very powerful.
Wishing everyone clarity and peace....
I moved out, put in the healing work, and was smiling & glowing. A few months later, I thought I could handle hanging out with him for the weekend. Now I'm back to feeling depressed, anxious & weak. I can't stand the thought of never talking to him again. But I know he's no good for me, my health, my mind, my soul, and my finances. I don't know what else to say except I'm too embarrassed to tell my family about it. Please pray for my strength in doing what I need to do🙏 Thank you
Then in the post discard the Narcissist is in Fear of being exposed by the person they abused. They can never live a life.
Always looking for their Downfalls, over their shoulders.
🙏😌💯
I am on the very advanced awakened victim. And I have experienced it all with the master Narc I was with. It is so hard. To grapple with. Thank you so much ❤
I’m still halfway through the video.. but just had to say, Andrew I think you’d be a good author .. in particular, I think you’d be able to write a great and easy to understand children’s book on narcissism.. and if one day that happens.. that book should be in EVERY school library .. and used to teach narcissism in EVERY primary school WORLDWIDE.
🙏 one like? Thousands 🙂🙂🙂 ... Thank you so much dear Andrew.
Welcome 💯🙏😌
Two narcs( one a boyfriend and one my adopted mother) who I had not seen for a long time both gave me this what I call a wry sort of half smile . They did not see me looking at them , (separate circumstances ) ,I have never really understood what this sort of cynical look meant but it was uncanny how similar the look was. I think it was all to do with the deception they knew they were aware of .
Thank you for sharing this 😌💯🙏💯
The evil smirk.
Truth to blessings
Great video❤✝
You are correct, it no longer matters. Additionally, the opinions of other narcissists no longer matters. The only opinion that matters is mine because I know my heart; I know my value. Why care about what they think? I certainly don't! I hope that we will all get to that place and understand how special you are! YOU ARE!!!
This was the best video Andrew. The pet names…ugh. That really got me.
Thank you 😌🙏💯💯
Being out of the narcissistic fog, almost 5 months blocked and no contact, I see so many things I hadn't before. Still having many realizations about things he did. He is nothing more than a con man. A lot of the things you mention in this video are exactly what went on between him and I. So blessed that I saw the light and cut his sorry butt loose.
The longest I went no contact with him is 7 weeks. I hope to get to 5 months. I think I will since now I've accepted he's highly narcissistic. It's been 3 weeks so far this round of NC.
I did it. I walked away from (her) a gas lighting narcissist. Almost 3 months ago. It’s impossible to do it alone. Your videos are crucial in understanding and bolstering my resolve. Thank you for your clarity and commitment to helping victims of a narcissist.
Welcome 💪💯😌🙏
Andrew: My 'X' narcissist wife used to be very-very-very observant of people. Constantly checking her behavior with the normal people.
Gosh. It is so painful... I took me years to discover narcissists in my closest cycle and recover from having been abused by them. It's been a tough journey. And my best remedy was not to keep contact as much as possible even if completely broken inside never to come to them for a help, a kind word or a hug, they would not do that! Be focus on YOURSELF, no matter what it takes. God bless you! Thank you Andrew! ❤ I am still recovering
With God you can dicard the narc & do it well!!
Thank you so much Andrew and community. Getting validation and clarity means so much ❤You are such a Godsend 🙏
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤...
I never had a clue what narcissists existed until she took my grandbabies and ran with them. That intense pain was the start of my waking up and suddenly TH-cam was showing me what a narcissist was. It was mind boggling .. now shes holding the grandbabies hostage as i am headed to the attorneys as i write.... I will fight that demon and lay down the law of grandparents rights in all fifty states. We all know they hate they legal system. She abandoned her first two children.. we are 🙏 she follows her same suit...
Thank you for sharing..😌😌💜🙏
Post divorce 3 years, so I've worked hard to get rid of this narcissist. I'll consider the trauma bond completely broken when I no longer watch videos attempting to understand how I lost 22 years of my life.
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Patty,I lost 22 years of my life with one also,I’m going thru it right now to break the trauma bond
I loved a fake ilusions and believed a fake promises in the end actions were more horrific .What they think is not important it is important to work on yourself every day
🎉 hook line and sinker yep . I'm a lover not a fighter 🎉 his a fighter not a lover 🎉 So we never really had a peaceful life .. Devaluation stage is really yuk . He thru me out the car window like a(not literally)piece of paper screwed up and left me on the highway. Now my health has improved and now I've healed .I'm the happiest. Contented I've ever been . And learning things everyday is so rewarding ❤💚🌻
They know we're in flight or flight. If you're not fighting, they know you're gonna fly. So they clip your wings.
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Thank you Andrew. You are so beautiful inside and out.
I finally woke up and realized that some of my ex-narc’s Hoovers were just mass texts that he was probably sending to his entire supply list.
And I thought this man was the love of my life. He let me believe that the relationship was real so he could have me emotionally on the hook for years and years.
At the time of the final devalue/discard, I was so physically exhausted. I was putting on weight, lethargic, and I couldn’t figure out why. The first few weeks it was over, I just felt so much relief.
Thankyou 👐 you explained that very well, unfortunately' he' will not leave the house that I bought, claiming half of it is his! 😞
Please contact a lawyer 💡
Your hair looks great! You look great and thank you so very much. You’ve helped me sooooooo much. If you only knew….❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏so grateful I found your channel!
Nutritious , uplifting eye candy! Great red shirt
Welcome 🙏🙌❤️😌
On Andrew's advice I blocked yet one more narcissist. Sure enough today he sent the cops to do a welfare check, but with one significant alteration. This time the cop didn't preach at me how concerned the narcissist was about me breaking contact, or that I might be isolating or some other equivalent yoga-babble.
The "welfare check" done to get 3rd party involved with Big narc "calling the shots" ( also type of smear) & wasting everyone's time...as per usual !
Thank you brother ❤❤❤
Exactly as it is ...but better: as it was!! Now I'm out - see the Matrix, processed it, within myself! Took me almost 4 years - still there are Triggers around - but I^m over it! myself again - only stronger and better! Thank you so much for butting all this Videos out - that helped me so much! Always...Love...
Welcome 💯🙏😌🙌
Your Awesome Dude!!! My thanks to you for All of the Help that you have given me. I left my Narsasistic wife back in March 19,2023 and today for the first day since I left her I had to see her at our daughter's school and she didn't look at my eye's she instead looked Down. It felt Amazing thank you Andrew. My attorney say's that I should be divorced God-Willing by this December the latest. Thank you again for everything that you have done for me. If there is ever a way I can ever help you reach out I'm there buddy.
10 years married to a narc. We started a business together. The narc has caused the business to go bankrupt due to money mismanagement.
Fast forward:
It seems like overnight the business went under. The narc lost all business contracts. The narc got arrested with a felony, the narc has prostate cancer & wears depends.
I thank the Lord for watching over me while I was in the fog. The ditch the narc dug for me- he fell in it.
😌😌💯🙏
What helped me with accepting were these two quotes:
“It was never about you.”
“If they wanted to, they would.”