Society today doesn't put a spotlight on good male role models, and so boys and young men don't know what it is to be a good man. Taking responsibility, being strong for others, cooperating (moreso than competing, although competition is important), nurturing and protecting - these things make for strong and healthy men, and should absolutely be something we collectively define as masculine.
This feels like some things I've heard about how "No man has had a healthy male role model, so they dont know how to be healthy male role models." For anyone interested in diving deeper on this, I'd recommend the book 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover'. It talks a lot about male archetypes across cultures.
The fact that you've been sold on your own gender being "toxic" means you aren't even capable of comprehending what being a gentleman is. It's not someone who lets the whole female world walk all over him.
What a nuanced and important conversation. The vehicle of care is such a vital element of the conversation masculinities that have been absent. Thank you for a thoroughly thoughtful presentation. It's inspiring to really consider doing my pod doc around masculinities.
I am a male, but I do not particularly identify with masculinity as it is known. In a prefect world everyone would be kind to each other and cruelty wouldn't be a thing and I try my best to live up to that ideal. I know it sounds naive and perhaps I am. If it gets me killed, I'm fine with that. I don't want to be a part of a world where cruelty wins.
Interesting that all the claps and woos and positive responses come from the acknowledgment of the way men treat women. Almost no response to the ways we should better treat men. That right there combined with the ability to replace men is part of the reason for the callous behavior and attitude.
Urging us to turn away from voices perpetuating harmful stereotypes he takes the current stereotype that masculinity is toxic by default. Protip women are only empathetic with their young.
Thank you, for making the basic point, that how men behave can't merely be defined by their gender, as that is too lazy a generalization, but is far more influenced and defined by society. I've worked with victims of violent crime, and I, too, found the vast majority of violence was committed by men, and my observations were very similar to your own. The expectations and models of masculinity in our society, and others, has had some seriously unfortunate consequences. (Of course, women are not immune from violent behavior, but as you state; it's men that bear society's expected emphasis on 'power and strength', which becomes perverted.) Thank you for making this a public point.
Masculinity and femininity is not the same their toxic sides are not expressed the same either. Men express negatively through anger and physical abuse whereas the mirror opposite for women is manipulation and emotional abuse. Women are not physically stronger they never evolved to express negativity through physical abuse but instead emotional abuse as the ones that did wouldn't survive to pass on that trait through reproduction instead it was a trait passed down through men. Physical abuse is punished but emotional abuse is typically not even considered. The cause of problems is not considered. What you wrote was way out of order, unfair and damaging to everyone. It makes sense how we are in this situation, people like you being clueless about problems they are working on
THE ONLY AUDIENCE RESPONSE was when he spoke briefly about women’s issues. I was disappointed by this talk, when I clicked the thumbnail I was genuinely hoping for a constructive conversation about the issues that surround men’s emotional development and men’s mental health, instead I get 11 minutes of what men have done wrong and 2 minutes that can be condensed to “we should care a bit more” those 2 minutes where met with silence. It really reflects what I’ve been saying for some time, men’s issue are irrelevant to most women, our mental health is an inconvenience and when it comes to male aggression the conversation is still completely focused on the action and not the cause. Only when we address why SOME men are so angry, and why men SOME men are aggressive will we begin to understand how to resolve what is by far the biggest problem facing gender equality today.
I came to comment this exact same thing. To my delight you already did and have put it so well. Unfortunately the world (it feels like) is still trying to prosecute men for what bad men have done in the past and aren’t ready for this conversation yet. But until then remain strong and compassionate for they will be ready one day.
If this video resonated with you, i recommend the work of Niobe Way. She has a great tedmed talk on this platform and i first heard an interview of her on Stay tuned with Preet called The Crisis of Loneliness 🎉❤
He just said we bring some boys up badly (rightfully so), later talks about boys struggling and being lost. Which is a huge problem. What is the reaction from mostly the female audience? Laughter. And that’s because most DGAF about men that are struggling. They say they want men to be more vulnerable, but they’re often met with laughter. “Suck it up”. For some there seems to be a war of the sexes going on where one just has to come out on top, instead of trying to live in harmony. So tiresome.
If that is the opinion of most of the women in your life, then I do feel sorry for you. As a guy, I am glad that most of my female friends support the promotion of healthy masculinity and men being able to be vulnerable or speak about their own emotions, without being laughed at for that sort of matter.
@@arshaddahlan male and female psychology is not the same. Being venerable and speaking about emotions is feminine therapy. You're parroting nonsense from a mental health industry that was set up and geared towards treating female psychology
@@arshaddahlandefine "healthy" masculinity. Im guessing its some defanged version that is closer to femininity. You understand there is a reason for the two opposites? Despite modern soceity trying its damndest to destroy traditional western values, it is still the most effective and practical way to live
Interesting, I actually clicked on this to learn how to improve myself. Luckily my upbringing already taught me all these things right. I wonder why it was so different compared to others though. My upbringing wasn't dramatically different than other boys. What are the factors? Education, financial background or father role?
It is mostly a societal thing linked to cultural orientation. Boys are taught directly or indirectly what a man should act like, with good portion of the acts being toxic because a man is supposed to be strong. So acting irresponsibly makes one a man. However, a kind, passionate and caring man is considered soft especially in African societies.
@@deeabaver2053 passion is an emotion, masculinity doesn't lead with emotion but logic. Caring just like nurturing are feminine traits that developed because of biology and because of motherhood. The word man describes a grown up whereas the word irresponsibility describes someone who hasnt yet grown up. Then you say boys are taught to be strong but thats somehow toxic? You are severely confused about reality and have been ignoring anthropology, biology, behavioural sciences and philosophy.
He’s talking important points, but he’s adding to the problem generalizing these tendencies to all men, instead of specifying a group, albeit a majority group, that needs help. Otherwise you risk associating personal growth with parting with your manhood.
i think in a 15 minute ted talk it is hard not to generalize. and he made it clear that not all men cause harm. but even from personal experience men who don't cause harm feel lost in todays world and need to learn to care and need people who care about them too. i don't agree that he is adding to a problem. i think he is one of the few raising awareness about a huge issue only vew people talk about
I have some deep rooted, albeit traditional, beliefs that define me as what a man is, and what makes one. Yet if I were to tell women I’d be labeled toxic and you’d judge me and lump me in with males who are not men, as I define them, such as rapists, domestic abusers, Incels, etc. without even knowing anything about me.
how about u examine ur beliefs and find why they're misogynistic instead of blaming women? it's very easy not to treat other people like second class citizens.
@@V1brationCanineMy point exactly. I didn’t even tell you what those beliefs are and yet you are judging me when I’m not like one of those women hating people at all.
There is a word that unites a man and a woman in the process of self-identification. For some reason unknown to me, it is not used. Presumably it is impossible to use an adjective, and even if the dictionary allows you to change the part of speech when using a word, the mind still prohibits it.
The problem is that women are attracted to traditionally masculine and successful men who are kind but not feminine. Pretty much the opposite of this man.
Well, what a simpleton way of looking at violence. Do you happen to know that in Latin America the physical violence from mothers to their children is not only normalized, but encouraged? Oh, yeah, but somehow that'll be because of patriarchy, and how that causes women to abuse, and advice that abuse amongst them to their children.
peterson isnt a good example to use hes a mess of a man, even if its obvious he can successfully debate him he will overcomplicate everything ruining the lesson for the audience
@@starc. That would depend on the intelligence level of the audience, of course. Based on his following, I'd say a great many people understand what he's saying.
As misogyny continues to grow, decent men should prepare. Support one another in being courageous against the mob. Don't let the fear of harm stop you from following your morals and ethics.
Gosh why would possibly be? Look at the state of the world. I think too many men have been listening to what psychopaths etc. have to say about how men and women should be. Where can I see this data? @@starc.
@@DogsReignSupreme no amount of data is going to help someone that just twice demonstrated they didnt get it so a third time wont work. The internet is a global public library. Hcraeser (spelt backwards) on your own? Except thats useless because of the level of intellect
Id argue misandry and anti white racism is on the rise more than anything! And this is verifiable. Whata unfortunate is our overly woke soceity values people "getting dunked on" (black culture offshoot) more than fairness and justice. So now we have racism towards white people that is framed as "not racism because racism is reserves for blacks" amd misandry thats just laughed off like a boardroom of old men laughing at a women trying to pitch an idea.
Excellent talk. I think it is worth noting that harm comes in a variety of flavors irrespective of gender. Some are more direct and overt. Others creep insidiously. However, as long as the narrative continues to be that a man is to blame for all of the ills of the world based solely on his gender, problems will not be addressed from all perspectives. This comment is not meant to imply that the speaker was blaming men.
@@ektanirvana6610 Well _clearly_ they're all bad and useless and bad. 🙄 Maybe she was speaking from experience. Maybe it's ok if women do things sometimes. Maybe not everyone views mothers and fathers as opposites, and we could in good faith assume she meant parents? 🤷♂
it is defined by the propensity for violence which is a necessary component for the protection and survival of our species. I didn't watch the video but I'm assuming they're framing violence as inherently negative
@@myparceltape1169 without our anecdotal experience, in the experience of million years of our evolution there was no place for emotions during a hunt, masculinity doesn't lead emotionally but logically. Because of the circumstance of our species, femininity evolved to survive through socialisation by care by nurture of offspring and by softness as of being physically smaller so it was pushed to excelled at mental things; whereas masculinity because of being physical bigger evolved to survive through independence by protection by provision of offspring, by toughness, and thus excelled at physical things. Same reason as kids - guys play with trucks and other 'tools' but girls play with dolls to imagine social scenarios because they have to get along with other girls to survive as when kicked out of a tribe typically only some of the men survived so that trait was assigned to male genetics because of being only passed down through their survival. Similar to how due to tribal conflicts only toxic femininity survived and was passed down in our biology as an ingrained feminine trait as any woman that did not defect to the conquering tribe never got the chance to reproduce and pass down her genetics Behavioural sciences are an important subject that needs to be compulsory in school like English is as that would eliminate half the patients in mental health, probably more.
@@myparceltape1169 hunter gatherers predate civilisation. Civilisation is about 6000 years old. Our bodies took a million years to evolve to what they are now they still the same from that hunter gather time, same evolved physiology. It will take hundreds of thousands of years to change at the very least
This reeks of weakness. Men are not weak nor should they be. I don’t think this guy understands men. I don’t even know what this guy is talking about, my friends don’t understand what this guy is talking about. What 50%? These statistics seem made up honestly. Empathy is fine to a point, expose a child to much to it, he will be weak and unable to exist in this world. Life is tough get with the program. Men have become weak enough, no need to weaken them further…
I have zero male friends because of this. I feel like all my “friends” are this version of men and try to compete rather than celebrate the differences
Yeah? What about matriarchy, or as i call it, gynarchy? How about blatant misandry? Since thats ok these days, to treat men like trash and then bash them for not being better. To denegrate masculinity and then bash men for not being moreso....
I prefer calling it Humanity (empathy) and to careless about gender, etc. But I understand the need to counter toxic masculinity, unhealthy behavior, violence, etc. Above all, while I actively support feminists, it is very true that we need to talk about men's issues much more and face it (it tends to be pushed under the rug). Excellent talk by the way.
I mean, just read you comment. Think about the impact that associating positive words to the feminine, and negative words to the masculine does to young men around the world. From those that are a blank slate, to those that have already been consumed to said patterns. They all will get a different reaction, ones will join the cause, but many will be left scarred, confused, and feeling guilty of something that they've probably haven't done before. These ideology wars tend to harm people both ways regardless of gender just by using their words, that's part of the challenge: To move forward without vengeful, and self-adulatory language
@@josee.1709 Yes, the masculine model we are given is negative and most of what we hear is negative. It is hard I find to escape it, when the reality of rape is over 90% done by men; violence is mostly done by men, but empathy is clearly a Human capacity and boys are not born that way as such. People want to be valued, to such a point that young men will rush to paths that lead to being valued and glorified, like war, etc. Anyhow, it requires a whole societal improvement, focusing more on our common Humanity, and feminists can contribute to this (I would argue most feminists mothers already understand this and don't teach their boys to hate themselves). Yes, some feminists may need to improve their approach, but the movements will remain and have to.
@@Baraz_Red funny you say we need to talk about mens issues on a place where talking about it is not allowed and you wont actually truly talk about those issues anyway as a supporter of eminists since you dont even understand that its toxic ytininimef
This is insulting and sexist. Men are already far more empathetic than women. When was the last time you saw a woman risk her safety to help someone being attacked? That doesn't happen. Men do it all the time. When was the last time you saw men belittle and insult a woman for being poor? Women do that all day every day to poor men. Ted is completely out of touch with reality.
This is such a long road to walk and there are so many negative, misogynistic men on that road. I agree with everything you say including the possibility of rehabilitation but where are the archetypes to disprove the macho mythology of manhood? Where are the online resources for redirecting all the anger and rejection? When I was teaching in prison, I met some men from The Nation of Islam, who were doing wonderful work putting the lives of offenders back together but their beliefs and objectives were profoundly patriarchal in common with other religious reformers working in challenging inner city communities. The causes of alienation for young men in our communities cannot be overcome when the principle agents of oppression and violence are left unchecked: Gender stereotyping, social conditioning, role model violence.
Dave, it's sad that this is your response, that you won't take 13:07 minutes to hear this message. Women and children around the world, including here in the USA, suffer at the hands men can't control their emotions. Especially when that emotion is expressed as rage and/or violence.
@lynnrolaf7422 Well, it seems then that certain men should learn to control their emotions. The idea though this means there should be some "reframing of masculinity" is absolutely absurd.
@@thomasel9171 Just out of curiosity,,, where did you think life in general came from ?? Because so far all scientist believe that life has to spawn from a life source. So where did it all start ?
TRUMP and TRUMPISM? What can we do, right now, to wake up VOTERS? Perhaps, we can ASK TRUMPSTERS and TRUMP, himself to wake up, now? SOUND a WARNING, over and over, again, while there is still time to save America! ========================================================== TNX MCH
Society today doesn't put a spotlight on good male role models, and so boys and young men don't know what it is to be a good man. Taking responsibility, being strong for others, cooperating (moreso than competing, although competition is important), nurturing and protecting - these things make for strong and healthy men, and should absolutely be something we collectively define as masculine.
Exactly what anti-feminists say.
That is an inherently feminist perspective though? Feminism is literally for both men and women.@mistressfreezepeach
@@ljharris3781 nope, it's *literally*, theoretically and practically not.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
This feels like some things I've heard about how "No man has had a healthy male role model, so they dont know how to be healthy male role models."
For anyone interested in diving deeper on this, I'd recommend the book 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover'. It talks a lot about male archetypes across cultures.
We need to be Gentleman again, we can be masculine without toxicity.
Who need?
Men!
Indeed. And recognise that affection can never be paid for.
Do unto others as you would have done unto you - except if you would cause harm.
The fact that you've been sold on your own gender being "toxic" means you aren't even capable of comprehending what being a gentleman is. It's not someone who lets the whole female world walk all over him.
@@ИменославФамильский world need
What a nuanced and important conversation. The vehicle of care is such a vital element of the conversation masculinities that have been absent. Thank you for a thoroughly thoughtful presentation. It's inspiring to really consider doing my pod doc around masculinities.
I'm a good young man, I desire to be a good man.
3:38 True !
I am a male, but I do not particularly identify with masculinity as it is known. In a prefect world everyone would be kind to each other and cruelty wouldn't be a thing and I try my best to live up to that ideal. I know it sounds naive and perhaps I am. If it gets me killed, I'm fine with that. I don't want to be a part of a world where cruelty wins.
You aren’t alone. 🙏
the word masculinity is derived from the word male
Interesting that all the claps and woos and positive responses come from the acknowledgment of the way men treat women. Almost no response to the ways we should better treat men. That right there combined with the ability to replace men is part of the reason for the callous behavior and attitude.
Right? The cheering for when he says women are better than men or whatnot is disgusting and toxic
Urging us to turn away from voices perpetuating harmful stereotypes he takes the current stereotype that masculinity is toxic by default.
Protip women are only empathetic with their young.
We are very empathic with men. We need this to survive. But the vibes most men give of are bad.
@@MonsieurEido I have never seen evidence of that, you are sensitive to social cues, that is not empathy.
Thank you, for making the basic point, that how men behave can't merely be defined by their gender, as that is too lazy a generalization, but is far more influenced and defined by society. I've worked with victims of violent crime, and I, too, found the vast majority of violence was committed by men, and my observations were very similar to your own. The expectations and models of masculinity in our society, and others, has had some seriously unfortunate consequences. (Of course, women are not immune from violent behavior, but as you state; it's men that bear society's expected emphasis on 'power and strength', which becomes perverted.) Thank you for making this a public point.
Masculinity and femininity is not the same their toxic sides are not expressed the same either. Men express negatively through anger and physical abuse whereas the mirror opposite for women is manipulation and emotional abuse. Women are not physically stronger they never evolved to express negativity through physical abuse but instead emotional abuse as the ones that did wouldn't survive to pass on that trait through reproduction instead it was a trait passed down through men. Physical abuse is punished but emotional abuse is typically not even considered. The cause of problems is not considered. What you wrote was way out of order, unfair and damaging to everyone. It makes sense how we are in this situation, people like you being clueless about problems they are working on
Compassion for the needy and Ruthlessness for the evil. All depends on WHO you deal with, not who you are
Anybody have any resources, videos for parents of boys and how to help them navigate this?
Also, take a look at the book The Body Keeps The Score
THE ONLY AUDIENCE RESPONSE was when he spoke briefly about women’s issues. I was disappointed by this talk, when I clicked the thumbnail I was genuinely hoping for a constructive conversation about the issues that surround men’s emotional development and men’s mental health, instead I get 11 minutes of what men have done wrong and 2 minutes that can be condensed to “we should care a bit more” those 2 minutes where met with silence. It really reflects what I’ve been saying for some time, men’s issue are irrelevant to most women, our mental health is an inconvenience and when it comes to male aggression the conversation is still completely focused on the action and not the cause. Only when we address why SOME men are so angry, and why men SOME men are aggressive will we begin to understand how to resolve what is by far the biggest problem facing gender equality today.
I came to comment this exact same thing. To my delight you already did and have put it so well. Unfortunately the world (it feels like) is still trying to prosecute men for what bad men have done in the past and aren’t ready for this conversation yet. But until then remain strong and compassionate for they will be ready one day.
How obtuse can men really be; the solution is even spelled out in the title 🤦♀️.
@@Amatorsapientaei your proving my point.
He is merely opening the door for conversation.
Acknowledge the problem, then we can have a conversation. Anything else is just escaping.
If this video resonated with you, i recommend the work of Niobe Way.
She has a great tedmed talk on this platform and i first heard an interview of her on Stay tuned with Preet called The Crisis of Loneliness 🎉❤
Great talk
He just said we bring some boys up badly (rightfully so), later talks about boys struggling and being lost. Which is a huge problem. What is the reaction from mostly the female audience? Laughter. And that’s because most DGAF about men that are struggling. They say they want men to be more vulnerable, but they’re often met with laughter. “Suck it up”. For some there seems to be a war of the sexes going on where one just has to come out on top, instead of trying to live in harmony. So tiresome.
If that is the opinion of most of the women in your life, then I do feel sorry for you. As a guy, I am glad that most of my female friends support the promotion of healthy masculinity and men being able to be vulnerable or speak about their own emotions, without being laughed at for that sort of matter.
@@arshaddahlan male and female psychology is not the same. Being venerable and speaking about emotions is feminine therapy. You're parroting nonsense from a mental health industry that was set up and geared towards treating female psychology
@@arshaddahlandefine "healthy" masculinity. Im guessing its some defanged version that is closer to femininity. You understand there is a reason for the two opposites? Despite modern soceity trying its damndest to destroy traditional western values, it is still the most effective and practical way to live
@@arshaddahlan I am the same as you in that.
Thank you for your work and also acknowledgement of women's unfinished equality too. All of this is FOR all of us.
Womxn are privileged.
Interesting, I actually clicked on this to learn how to improve myself. Luckily my upbringing already taught me all these things right. I wonder why it was so different compared to others though. My upbringing wasn't dramatically different than other boys. What are the factors? Education, financial background or father role?
It is mostly a societal thing linked to cultural orientation. Boys are taught directly or indirectly what a man should act like, with good portion of the acts being toxic because a man is supposed to be strong. So acting irresponsibly makes one a man. However, a kind, passionate and caring man is considered soft especially in African societies.
@@deeabaver2053 passion is an emotion, masculinity doesn't lead with emotion but logic. Caring just like nurturing are feminine traits that developed because of biology and because of motherhood. The word man describes a grown up whereas the word irresponsibility describes someone who hasnt yet grown up. Then you say boys are taught to be strong but thats somehow toxic? You are severely confused about reality and have been ignoring anthropology, biology, behavioural sciences and philosophy.
He’s talking important points, but he’s adding to the problem generalizing these tendencies to all men, instead of specifying a group, albeit a majority group, that needs help. Otherwise you risk associating personal growth with parting with your manhood.
i think in a 15 minute ted talk it is hard not to generalize. and he made it clear that not all men cause harm. but even from personal experience men who don't cause harm feel lost in todays world and need to learn to care and need people who care about them too. i don't agree that he is adding to a problem. i think he is one of the few raising awareness about a huge issue only vew people talk about
you're part of that imaginary majority
Singular narratives are injustice to humanity.
Everywhere we are trapped, by ourselves and by society, in the man box. Coming out is dangerous
He’s stroking the egos of an all female audience 😂😂😂
This was painfully obvious.
It's too bad that is your take away from this.
I have some deep rooted, albeit traditional, beliefs that define me as what a man is, and what makes one. Yet if I were to tell women I’d be labeled toxic and you’d judge me and lump me in with males who are not men, as I define them, such as rapists, domestic abusers, Incels, etc. without even knowing anything about me.
how about u examine ur beliefs and find why they're misogynistic instead of blaming women? it's very easy not to treat other people like second class citizens.
@@V1brationCanineMy point exactly. I didn’t even tell you what those beliefs are and yet you are judging me when I’m not like one of those women hating people at all.
@@V1brationCanine typical selfish thinking in any conversation "am I being blamed?"
@@TOhara-eb2lp you cant talk about a problem with a woman without her thinking shes being blamed its their default mindset
There is a word that unites a man and a woman in the process of self-identification. For some reason unknown to me, it is not used. Presumably it is impossible to use an adjective, and even if the dictionary allows you to change the part of speech when using a word, the mind still prohibits it.
I know a lovely word. A short continuous verb.
The problem is that women are attracted to traditionally masculine and successful men who are kind but not feminine. Pretty much the opposite of this man.
the problem is with trying to argue against nature, or more precisely lie to deceive the population
Well, what a simpleton way of looking at violence. Do you happen to know that in Latin America the physical violence from mothers to their children is not only normalized, but encouraged? Oh, yeah, but somehow that'll be because of patriarchy, and how that causes women to abuse, and advice that abuse amongst them to their children.
This is a terrible talk, why is it only about the masculinity in men? What about the toxic masculinity in women?
cixot ytininimef (spelt backwards)
I would love to see this man debate with Jordan Peterson. Only then might he begin to understand how incorrect he is in almost everything he said.
peterson isnt a good example to use hes a mess of a man, even if its obvious he can successfully debate him he will overcomplicate everything ruining the lesson for the audience
@@starc. That would depend on the intelligence level of the audience, of course. Based on his following, I'd say a great many people understand what he's saying.
@@bobjackson7516 Nicky Manaj also has a large following
@@starc. Touché. McDonalds does as well, but neither of their followers are coming for the mental or physical nutritional value of the product.
@@bobjackson7516 how well someone understands a thing can be measured by how concisely they can explain it
Empathy doesn't make money, blood does.
Texas and Guns go Together!
I never thought I'd be mansplained on how to not be a man.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 This was excellent
Finally!!
As misogyny continues to grow, decent men should prepare. Support one another in being courageous against the mob. Don't let the fear of harm stop you from following your morals and ethics.
misandry has been growing at many times the rate as misogyny has for decades
Gosh why would possibly be? Look at the state of the world. I think too many men have been listening to what psychopaths etc. have to say about how men and women should be. Where can I see this data? @@starc.
@@DogsReignSupreme no amount of data is going to help someone that just twice demonstrated they didnt get it so a third time wont work. The internet is a global public library. Hcraeser (spelt backwards) on your own? Except thats useless because of the level of intellect
Id argue misandry and anti white racism is on the rise more than anything! And this is verifiable. Whata unfortunate is our overly woke soceity values people "getting dunked on" (black culture offshoot) more than fairness and justice. So now we have racism towards white people that is framed as "not racism because racism is reserves for blacks" amd misandry thats just laughed off like a boardroom of old men laughing at a women trying to pitch an idea.
Excellent talk. I think it is worth noting that harm comes in a variety of flavors irrespective of gender. Some are more direct and overt. Others creep insidiously. However, as long as the narrative continues to be that a man is to blame for all of the ills of the world based solely on his gender, problems will not be addressed from all perspectives. This comment is not meant to imply that the speaker was blaming men.
Mothers need to do better teaching our son's that emotions are good and encourage the expression of kindness, love, and compassion ❤❤❤❤
And the fathers?
There's no need to further weaken men.
@@ektanirvana6610 Well _clearly_ they're all bad and useless and bad. 🙄
Maybe she was speaking from experience. Maybe it's ok if women do things sometimes. Maybe not everyone views mothers and fathers as opposites, and we could in good faith assume she meant parents? 🤷♂
go somewhere else troll @@meanderinoranges
@@V1brationCanine lying wont help you
Masculinity does not necessarily equal Violence. So does Power and Strength, both mental and physical.
it is defined by the propensity for violence which is a necessary component for the protection and survival of our species. I didn't watch the video but I'm assuming they're framing violence as inherently negative
is empathy a masculine trait or a feminine trait?
Both in my experience.
@@myparceltape1169 without our anecdotal experience, in the experience of million years of our evolution there was no place for emotions during a hunt, masculinity doesn't lead emotionally but logically. Because of the circumstance of our species, femininity evolved to survive through socialisation by care by nurture of offspring and by softness as of being physically smaller so it was pushed to excelled at mental things; whereas masculinity because of being physical bigger evolved to survive through independence by protection by provision of offspring, by toughness, and thus excelled at physical things. Same reason as kids - guys play with trucks and other 'tools' but girls play with dolls to imagine social scenarios because they have to get along with other girls to survive as when kicked out of a tribe typically only some of the men survived so that trait was assigned to male genetics because of being only passed down through their survival. Similar to how due to tribal conflicts only toxic femininity survived and was passed down in our biology as an ingrained feminine trait as any woman that did not defect to the conquering tribe never got the chance to reproduce and pass down her genetics
Behavioural sciences are an important subject that needs to be compulsory in school like English is as that would eliminate half the patients in mental health, probably more.
@@starc.
I will not argue with something from a different civilisation.
@@myparceltape1169 hunter gatherers predate civilisation. Civilisation is about 6000 years old. Our bodies took a million years to evolve to what they are now they still the same from that hunter gather time, same evolved physiology. It will take hundreds of thousands of years to change at the very least
This reminds me of Manbox.
He has giga chad chin
Excellent talk!
This reeks of weakness. Men are not weak nor should they be. I don’t think this guy understands men. I don’t even know what this guy is talking about, my friends don’t understand what this guy is talking about. What 50%? These statistics seem made up honestly.
Empathy is fine to a point, expose a child to much to it, he will be weak and unable to exist in this world. Life is tough get with the program.
Men have become weak enough, no need to weaken them further…
I have zero male friends because of this. I feel like all my “friends” are this version of men and try to compete rather than celebrate the differences
This ted talk isnt worth considering
Patriarchy effects men too
Yeah? What about matriarchy, or as i call it, gynarchy? How about blatant misandry? Since thats ok these days, to treat men like trash and then bash them for not being better. To denegrate masculinity and then bash men for not being moreso....
bravissimo
I prefer calling it Humanity (empathy) and to careless about gender, etc. But I understand the need to counter toxic masculinity, unhealthy behavior, violence, etc. Above all, while I actively support feminists, it is very true that we need to talk about men's issues much more and face it (it tends to be pushed under the rug). Excellent talk by the way.
I mean, just read you comment. Think about the impact that associating positive words to the feminine, and negative words to the masculine does to young men around the world. From those that are a blank slate, to those that have already been consumed to said patterns. They all will get a different reaction, ones will join the cause, but many will be left scarred, confused, and feeling guilty of something that they've probably haven't done before. These ideology wars tend to harm people both ways regardless of gender just by using their words, that's part of the challenge: To move forward without vengeful, and self-adulatory language
@@josee.1709 Yes, the masculine model we are given is negative and most of what we hear is negative. It is hard I find to escape it, when the reality of rape is over 90% done by men; violence is mostly done by men, but empathy is clearly a Human capacity and boys are not born that way as such. People want to be valued, to such a point that young men will rush to paths that lead to being valued and glorified, like war, etc. Anyhow, it requires a whole societal improvement, focusing more on our common Humanity, and feminists can contribute to this (I would argue most feminists mothers already understand this and don't teach their boys to hate themselves). Yes, some feminists may need to improve their approach, but the movements will remain and have to.
@@Baraz_Red funny you say we need to talk about mens issues on a place where talking about it is not allowed and you wont actually truly talk about those issues anyway as a supporter of eminists since you dont even understand that its toxic ytininimef
reframe how y'all treated Coleman Hughes?
You
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Andrew Tate would hate this video
hes a def (spelt backwards) placed there to etartlifni (backwards), trevbus (backwards) and tidercsid mens education, hes father was also a def
@@starc.Stop putting everything backwords it makes you look schizo. And no, yewtube wotn censor you for those words
Whenever this topic is raised, the comments prove the point.😔
this topic is raised all the time without end and never for the other side. Equality my left toenail.
This a good start but a very shallow and not that informative talk
This is insulting and sexist. Men are already far more empathetic than women. When was the last time you saw a woman risk her safety to help someone being attacked? That doesn't happen. Men do it all the time. When was the last time you saw men belittle and insult a woman for being poor? Women do that all day every day to poor men. Ted is completely out of touch with reality.
What are you talking about women often step in to protect women
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Toxic masculinity
"Woke buzzword"
First Comment
This is such a long road to walk and there are so many negative, misogynistic men on that road. I agree with everything you say including the possibility of rehabilitation but where are the archetypes to disprove the macho mythology of manhood? Where are the online resources for redirecting all the anger and rejection?
When I was teaching in prison, I met some men from The Nation of Islam, who were doing wonderful work putting the lives of offenders back together but their beliefs and objectives were profoundly patriarchal in common with other religious reformers working in challenging inner city communities. The causes of alienation for young men in our communities cannot be overcome when the principle agents of oppression and violence are left unchecked: Gender stereotyping, social conditioning, role model violence.
thats one way to say you dont understand masculinity or macho or how thats related
Also i hilarious you are trying to defend islam while acknowledging its faults. Theres a whole lot more evil in there to find
Moms are the better Dads ...
they've done studies about this, men can perform motherly duties but apparently the women could not fill the fatherly role
Literally the opposite is true, but go on being the least masculine male in this comment section 😂
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I blame the internet. Propagates every negative attitude and stereotype in magnitude.
You lost me at "Reframing Masculinity" 👎🏾
Dave, it's sad that this is your response, that you won't take 13:07 minutes to hear this message.
Women and children around the world, including here in the USA, suffer at the hands men can't control their emotions. Especially when that emotion is expressed as rage and/or violence.
Would you rather women and society at large suffer instead?
@lynnrolaf7422 Well, it seems then that certain men should learn to control their emotions. The idea though this means there should be some "reframing of masculinity" is absolutely absurd.
@@paytonsmeHeck of straw man there.
Literally the titel dude
That was one terrible ted talk.
How many out of 8 billion ?
Try putting the bible back into the moral compass of families again.
As an athiest, i agree.
@@thomasel9171 Just out of curiosity,,, where did you think life in general came from ?? Because so far all scientist believe that life has to spawn from a life source. So where did it all start ?
TRUMP and TRUMPISM? What can we do, right now, to wake up VOTERS?
Perhaps, we can ASK TRUMPSTERS and TRUMP, himself to wake up, now?
SOUND a WARNING, over and over, again, while there is still time to save America!
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TNX MCH
Professor Barker, I hope you can speak out against TRUMPISM, now TNX
Good talk.