Ahh, I'm finally sharing this story. This is an incredibly personal story, but it's a HUGE part of my life and i think it's finally time to talk about it with you all. I don't know why it makes me extremely nervous to hear your reactions, but above all, please be kind! :) EDIT: Just for the record, my parents didn't lie at the dinner table! They simply didn't register/make the connection between the two primarily because they didn't think it was possible to discover that information. I brushed off the results so quickly that no one thought twice about it. I wouldn't have made that connection either, so i don't blame them. They did nothing wrong. We all handled the situation very well, and I hold no bad feelings about how everything went down, so neither should you.
I heard it all, and my opinion of you hasn't changed. Instead, it clarified to me your drive and passion that you have in that field. I hope we get to meet your sibling's some day 😜🎉
They should have told you but I understand why they didn't. I too had a ....surprise....when I did my dna. Not a donor situation tho.....but no matter what the process, it is absolutely life changing. Let's just say that for all those folks out there doing geneologies.....the odds that you too don't have secrets or lies in your family tree are not all that great.
Thank you for sharing your origin story! I recently gave birth to an IVF baby and I can assure you, the second he was earth side, HOW he got here was suddenly irrelevant. All that mattered was he was my baby. I loved him. So I can understand how your parents could have simply not thought about it regularly. I’ll be having the conversation with my boy in time. Thank you again for sharing.
I was put up for adoption because my parents were just high school students and could not keep me. Irish Catholics did not keep illegitimate children in 1953. I found them through 23 and me many years later. Turns out, a few years after I was born, they got married. I have six full siblings. They knew nothing about me, and it was a complete surprise. Sadly, my biological mother passed away before we could meet, but I have been welcomed into the rest of my biological family and it’s been wonderful.
My great grandmother was disowned by her Irish Catholic family back in the 30's after having my great uncle out of wedlock. She was graped by my great grandfather who was 4 yrs younger. Of course, he was also a pedo. Adoption was probably necessary
My husband was widowed before I met him. There are two adoption stories in his late wife Michele's family. She was the baby sister to 5 siblings. Her sister gave up a baby son 50+ years ago that was a product of a rape. He knew he was adopted and started looking for his birth mother a number of years ago, He is now blessed to have found a bonus family that treats him better than the brother he grew up with. He looks just like one of his uncles. The second story is very similar to yours. One of late wife's brothers adopted a son. That son too started looking for his birth parents. It turned out his bio parents (teenage and Catholic at the time) went on to get married and have three daughters. The bio mother passed away several years ago but the bio father is still living. Several months ago this son came to our town from Denver to meet his bio father and his sisters. Turns out that the sisters had gone to school with several family members and the bio father and Michele's oldest brother are in Knight's of Columbus together and work the monthly K of C chicken dinner at one of the local churches.. It's a small world.
My grandma had a similar experience. Her birth mother was 15 when she was born and the state immediately took her away to be placed for adoption (I believe this was in 1948). She's so close with her birth family now after finding them about 10 years ago!
@@maddiejoy6619 that’s wonderful! I know we are the exception rather than the rule, but to have found my biological family right after I lost, my beloved, adoptive parents was quite a thrill. The fact that they have embraced me and included me in the family has also been wonderful.
Your Dad IS the hero! Many men would not consent to a sperm donor. He accepted fatherhood and unconditional love is such a gift! Thank you for opening your heart to your new identity.
It was probably his wife that wanted the child first and he couldn't provide one so out of love for his wife, he agreed to it! To be honest I have to respect that man because that had to be a hard decision to make.
47 year old dad of a sperm donor conceived currently 9 year old child here. This video randomly showed up in my feed and I'm glad it did and I'm glad I clicked on it. Your story is fascinating and touching. When you said your dad is the hero in all of this, 6:05 , it brought tears to my eyes. Your words have stayed with me. I can say, personally, that I have loved my child fully and completely from the moment she was born. It never mattered from who's sperm she came from. It makes no difference to how fully I love her. I hope when she's an adult and can understand her story, she'll see me as a hero in a similar way to how you now see your dad as the hero.
Please don't wait till she's an adult. This video proves how disastrous that is. As soon as she understands the birds and the bees (which should be now if not already), tell her. Withholding information is deception and if you don't tell her, you would be a hypocrit if you expected her to be honest with you.
@@saraschneider6781 I don't hear any disaster in this video, just saying. Each situation is different. As a psychotherapist and working with many children and families, my advice to him is to use his gut instinct and tell her when it feels right and he feels she is ready and mature enough to take in the information. There is a right time for everything. Rachel's story feels as though it happened just as it should have actually. Maybe they could have told her earlier, but then again, would it have altered her path? Who knows. It was not disastrous by any stretch of the imagination. Thank you so humbly for sharing your beautiful story @RachelSouthard You as well @healtor492
@@SomeGal @SomeGal I was specifically speaking of the Creator's experience. HER experience was not traumatic. I feel deeply for you if this occurred for you.... I am assuming that it did not and in this case you are projecting your feelings as if it had. That is all. Everyone does have their own experience understandably and TRAUMA IS VERY REAL ( I lost my young son just a few years ago , among other things...we all have our own trauma...I 100% get it}. I must ask if this is your experience and if it was disastrous?... If so I feel deeply for you. If it is merely an opinion, you are projecting upon the previous writer of whom was simply writing about their current experience and that seems a bit unfair and somewhat judging. That is all. You could be inflicting an unnecessary trauma, guilt, and harm on this individual. Have you thought about this?? Please read comments well before you reply, and please think well as you respond... This is all I ask of you Many blessings to you and much healing
@@SomeGal I don't understand why it would even matter whether she was genetically his child or not. He loved her as his own, and he was in on the choice to get a donor. Therefore, there is no betrayal. Sheesh, until the last decade or so there wasn't really a way that this information would come out accidentally or in any way, and therefore, I am sure that many parents simply didn't mention to kids that "Hey, your Dad doesn't have any sperm, so we bought some." That is personal private health information (which by the way is information protected by law). What makes you think that as a child you should have a right to it automatically? We talk a lot about consent these days, but what you just said and the other commenter said, is that fathers in his situation don't get the decision, and the child's rights supersedes the parent's rights. I think it is up to the father to decide if he wants to share that information, as medical conditions especially of this type can be considered by the man to be very intimate and personal private information. Many men struggle mentally when they find out that they can't have children. A lot don't, but it isn't up to anybody to demand to know someone's medical information under any circumstances. The fact is, that he is her dad, daddy, pop, poppa, or whatever term of endearment a child would use to call the man who has raised them and loved them as only a real dad could. That fact hasn't changed. The only thing that has changed is that she has 21 siblings. There was a birth of a boy child that was born stillbirth before either my sister or me. This was a subject that was so personal, that I didn't know about it till I was probably in my 30s or so. My parents weren't the ones that told me either. Was I upset because I didn't know about a stillborn probably 10 years before I was born? Hell, NO! The fact that kind of pisses me off is that someone had the audacity to tell me one of my mom's deepest darkest painful secrets. People have a right to have secrets, and you don't have the right to them. I never mentioned anything to either of my parents, because it wasn't my business in the first place, and I should have never known about it. Stop with the entitled to everything and all information from family, that you are not entitled to.
My twin sister and I did 23andme about 7 years ago. We learned that we are 100% DNA identical twins. Two of her children have done it and it links us together and it shows I am 50% their mother. I loved your story and your positive attitude.
How amazing that this was the field of medicine you entered into not knowing your parents journey with infertility. This is truly the definition of a calling over your life. You will help so many families over your career. What a story and testimony
Racheal: I’m sure you have heard the expression: “ Any one can make a baby however it takes a real man to be a father”. I’m sure this was a major shock to you and very emotional for your parents. You are now blessed to have this beautiful family that you never knew. Please don’t feel judged, you have wonderful insight. We all luv u!
That's a beautiful story. Your father is the man who raised you. Your ancestors are the people you knew and the people related through blood. Your father is special and should be in your heart and life forever. The sperm donor is just a footnote.
I’m a sperm donor baby too. I have 8, if not more, half siblings. I’m so grateful my parents didn’t hide it from me. I was 11 and I feel it was an appropriate time to tell me. I wish more parents were open with their kid(s) about this, as I’ve seen several siblings’ lives change similar to yours. It’s very emotional no matter when and how you discover this information, but you should be so proud for moving forward in this process. I actually am sitting in the airport going home from my annual trip I have with my 2 closest sisters. Also, thank you for being brave enough to make this video❤️
I was adopted at four days old, coincidentally my adopted dad was an OB/Gyn. After both my parents died and I was in my 60s I figured if I didn’t test soon no one would be alive who knew I existed. Fast forward, I was a surprise to everyone! Found both my biological families, and have been totally accepted. DNA tests have totally changed my life for the better ❤ wow! I just noticed you are a DO! My bio great great grandfather was Andrew Taylor Still!
Your video just popped up in my feed. My life changed too after doing a 23andme DNA test a little over 2 years ago. On my paternal side, I didn't recognize any names and I even talked to my mom about it and she said nothing. Months later my sister I was raised with received her results and we found out we were only half siblings on our mother's side. My sister is still in denial that the test is wrong. My entire life I felt like I had a different dad. Later, I was able to get my mom to confirm that yes the test was "probably correct". I made contact with my paternal family that got me in contact with my bio Dad. My mother told him when she got pregnant but told him I was not his. So, he and his family were not surprised when I popped up at 43 years old. I've spent the last 2 years connecting with my extra family. I'm glad I only found 2 more siblings lol.
Rachel, I just discovered your channel a couple weeks ago, or less and glad I have. Your story is amazing. How exciting and I guess a lot of other emotions only you understand. Your life just expanded 100 fold. I think it's no coincidence that you became a OBGYN either. Nature or nurture? I believe it's both. You have absolutely nothing to feel that people would look at you differently, there is just more to your story.
Rachel, I happened upon your story totally by accident, but it sounded intriguing, so I clicked on it. Wow! What a great story! It's absolutely amazing! You have two very important men in your life: 1) your biological dad, the one without whose participation you wouldn't be here. He's a HERO, isn't he, because you are an amazing young woman who adds a lot to the human community. 2) your actual DAD, the man who welcomed you into his life and raised you. He is also a HERO! He's a most amazing man, as well, and I'm blown away by his sweet generosity of spirit! A lot of egomaniacs out there could never have made such a choice! I'm so impressed! Tell him he has a lot in common with George Washington, who also couldn't be a father, but who raised his wife's children as his own (Martha had been married before and then widowed). Men like your DAD are precious and rare! From me, tell him I said this: "Well done, sir! I salute you!"
This is a fantastic story. Your Dad most certainly is the hero. He loves you dearly. As a member of a blended family, other people “think about it”, but you and your parents don't. You are family in every way. The only time it could have been complicated is if you had some health problem that family history would impact. Congratulations! PS: over my 75 years and helping to raise bunches of kids, I've definitely adjusted my attitudes on the nature-nurture concept. I've observed that babies come into this world as their own little people. Nature sets the base. The nurture part helps to guide and hone the essence. But we can't change it. That's set. We just help it become the best whatever it can be. Yes, first to college. First in medicine. But I can lay odds your parents praised, encouraged, and supported all the work you did every step of the way. You are a lucky young lady. I wish you the best future ever.
You were SO WANTED that they went through all the trials of IVF and all that entailed for them. What an amazing beautiful gift to be truly wanted and loved like that!
What i really find interesting in the majority of donor conceived children is their connection with their half siblings. I know many families of full siblings (some with 7 to 9 siblings) and this level of connection and relateness does not happen between them. The same goes for half siblings from different marriages. There has to be some psychological event happening that prompts this quick sense of belonging. Makes me think when i am the only foreigner in a country and i meet someone of my nationality we immediatly connect and share traits (eventhough that connection would never happen in a different setting). I find it really interesting. Really glad to see such a positive story, being grateful and having a loving family is definitely a blessing.
You have nothing to have reservations about Rachel. You are clearly the daughter of your Mom and Dad as you know them (being a dad is the work and love of it, not the sperm). You are also in such a terrific position to take this knowledge into your work as an OBGYN. How much more compassion and empathy can you bring to your patients having learned that your parents went through this decision making and your dad’s love for your mom led to him putting aside his pride in order to rely on a donor. What a beautiful expression of love. I know for my kids the traits and mannerisms are so fun from the parent’s side to see expressed from one generation to the next. My daughter has several mannerisms that remind me so much of her aunt despite them not seeing each other frequently. Nature versus nurture is fascinating. Congratulations on all the new siblings!
Surprises like this are the exact reason I haven't done the 23 and Me testing. My family is FULL of secrets. Closed adoptions for numerous reason that were never disclosed, illegitimate children from multiple partners while married, unexplainable genetic medical conditions etc. I've figured out a lot of things people never planned to tell me and never wanted me to know. So I'm so so so glad that your experience went the way that it did because I know of plenty of families that are torn up by these things. I'm glad you have the platform to share this and show that there is good in the world and that families can still be happy, because it doesn't feel like there is a lot of that going around anymore. Thank you for sharing your story Rachel, family is so important and I'm happy you got to add so many new members to yours
I intend to do 23 and Me or some other DNA testing for EXACTLY those reasons. When lies have severe negative health consequences - they must be brought to light.
do both ancestry and 23 and me as you don't know where close family members will test and they're the 2 main ones and the 2 that can't be uploaded to. all other dna companies allow uploads of you dna file so you can upload to them for free.
those tests are not great for medical stuff you need a medical grade dna test for that which is more expensive. however bio family stories are helpful in knowing what runs in the family.
that is my Southern family...can't believe anything they said cuz it proved FALSE...and I have a genetic condition that my son has and my D.O. says it is hereditary and no one else has it
I did 23&Me but didn’t find any unknown close relatives, but I wanted to find a few. My only sibling didn’t want to do it and told me not to tell her if I found any unknown children of our grandfather or father. Everyone has different opinions
You chose to have such a mature response.. two people could go through the exact same situation, one person chooses to resent and hurt their parents over the situation, another person chooses to be understanding and empathetic of their parents. You chose to be empathetic towards your parents
I found a half sister a few years ago on 23 and me! My dad was never told about her (met before my mom) and she was told someone else was her dad. Clicked right away. Same sense of humor, same mannerisms, so crazy.
This story is surreal. I would've had goosebumps noticing the similarities with my other siblings! Also, it's such an interesting example of nature vs. nurture. So exciting, Rachel - I'm happy that you unexpectedly received this "missing puzzle piece" in your life! 😊
When I watch stories about people who meet their half siblings for the first time and are so moved and feel this great bond, I wonder if I am the only one who feels mostly indifferent towards my 5 half siblings whom I saw very little of growing up. I met them occasionally and the oldest more than the youngest. Two of them didn't understand that I was their sister until they were about 10 years old (they asked me who my father was, and first thought I was making it up when I told them that their dad is my dad too, and that I was visiting because of him). I really wish them well, they are good people and were nice children, I am sure they really are my biological family (in a way it would be easier if it turned out that my father wasn't my father after all, but I believe my mother when she says he is), but I don't feel any bond with my siblings nor do I want them in my life, and I try to prevent feeling too guilty about it by telling myself that they have each other and probably don't need me either.
What a beautiful , personal story!! Rachel, your parents are amazing to have wanted to have you and your sister enough to use a donor. Your attitude is beautiful as well!! ❤
This's such a pretty story. Plus a story like this can never change how we view you. You're amazing and your reason to go to OB/GYN is understood now cause I never knew why you wanted it so bad. Best of luck on your intern journey ❤️
The minute she started talking ,I thought "adopted"? I was. And I can understand how she feels about these 1/2 siblings. I have 3 of them and just found out about a year ago. I am a senior, so this was shocking to find out all about this, so many years later. It was one of the best gifts I have ever received ever!
My friend found out at about age 60 that the man who was presented as her father is not. But he is the father of her two younger sisters. It answered so many questions, as he had never treated her the same. All of her questions of why didn’t he love me, what was wrong with me were gone like a poof of smoke! And she got 4-5 half siblings. She loves family so that was a real bonus. Unfortunately her biological dad had died long before.
What a beautiful story! Families are created in so many ways. I have an adopted cousin and he is 100% my cousin. I don’t think about it any differently. I think your parents did a great job handling this. There isn’t an instruction manual for talking to children about how they became part of their family. Genetics are fascinating and I’m thankful for modern medicine for this and so many other reasons. It’s awesome that you have a platform to bring awareness that every child and his or her family is special. Couples or single parents may be apprehensive to use a sperm donor and you can use your story to help other babies come into this world. If your parents didn’t work so hard to have you and your sister, you wouldn’t be here to have this opportunity to help others the way your parents were helped. Such an amazing full circle moment!
RACHEL IM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR EVERYTHING! As a soon to be pharmacist, I’m excited to have someone like you in the medical field. We need more people like you. Keep up the great work sis ❤
My mom was adopted and always wanted to find her parents. For Christmas one year..my sister and I got her the ancestry DNA kit. My mom sent in her sample and she actually found her paternal dad, who was in his 90’s. The whole time he lived local. Thanks for sharing your story with us❤.
My mind is absolutely blown!!! That is amazing, Rachel!! I'm so happy for you that your life has been enhanced by finding this out about yourself, and meeting your siblings!!! What an incredible story 💞 Definitely makes sense in the context of your interest in OBGYN too!!!
I've decided it's no big deal. I was adopted as a baby and always knew it. I was grateful my parents told me up front. I did do some research, discovered my birth mother and realized we lived very different lives and that's ok. Your life is yours to live. It's very true that nature (genetics) will steer you more than you you can imagine, but in the end, you choose. How will you use your talents?
I’m so sorry your parents didn’t tell you much sooner. I know it must have been hard to have children. I had eight plus miscarriages and chose to adopt a daughter at birth. We chose to tell her at an early age. She knew by the time she was 2 years old. Bless you and don’t be embarrassed!
I’m glad your parents seem to be cool with you having relationships with your half siblings! You now have a group of people who understand what you’re going through too. I love how open your heart is.
Thank you for sharing that story. You took something that could play with someone mentally and made it a positive thing, it IS a positive thing! You can never have too much family around!! ❤
Similar family puzzle: My mother was the first to finish college, had a passion for the medical field, was a concert pianist and gifted with languages. None of her older siblings had these passions/giftings. My cousins were very different from my brother and I. Years later, I discovered my mother had a different father. I found that family, and they were so very similar to my brother and I. My face finally made sense. Our interests and abilities made sense. I felt a wholeness. Now, this was the result of an affair, but I’m still happy and grateful be here.
Wow, I love how raw and authentic you are in sharing your story and make yourself vulnerable in front of an audience you don't even know personally. And from watching your videos it seems like you're a really kind and passionate person. Thanks for letting us take part in your journey :-) All the best and blessings for your residency! This is what you were born for!!
Personally, if a family member or friend purchased a DNA test kit for me, that would be a red flag that maybe I need to know something that I need to know. I would proceed, but with caution.🎉
My mom used a sperm donor as a single mother after her divorce to have another child (me) so I always knew. My half sister on my moms side and I have a 7 year age gap so we were never close at all, it felt like I was an only child. Meeting my half siblings that were close in age to me, very similar to me, looked like me etc... was the best thing to ever happen to me.
This brings to mind the sentiment that "love always finds a way" and thanks to advances in fertility treatments love triumphed and you are a result of that. You were always meant to be and your parents found a way to make that happen and we are so glad they did.
This is a beautiful story! I love that your parents who raised you seem to be wonderful people! I love that you now have a huge wonderful family of siblings in addition to enrich your life!
Hey! I'm following you since your first year of medical school, and u helped me alot during my journey trying to get accepted to medical school here in Israel. Your videos gave me a push during the HUGE amount of tests I took in the last couple of years, but this one is absolutely my favorite. My mom used a sperm donor and IVF in my pregnancy and 3 years ago I took a test too through FamilyTree and found a brother from the same sperm donor and we are really good friends now. Life is full with mysteries, thank you for sharing, you made my day :)
Thank you soo so much for sharing your story with us & trusting us with such a personal thing! Just know that we are so proud of you and no matter what anyone says or assumes, they are just mad cuz they ain't you! You're Dr. Southard, our rafiqi, our red ant, and we are so effin proud of everything you do, have done, and continue to do!
But they still should have told her from an early age. Kids are very accepting and they just get on with it but to withhold such information could have ended their relationship because they lied to her and that's not right, she had a right to know who her birth father was.
Hi Rachel! I've been watching you since you started medical school and you have been such an inspiration for me! My moms used a sperm donor to have my sister and me (she is from my other mom) and we have at least 15 other half-siblings as well. We found out about each other from the donor sibling registry, and a few more have popped up from the 23&me the past few years! It is so nice to hear that you come from a similar background and that you are so open about it. I've known about my other siblings my whole life and I have always had mixed feelings about it, but hearing you tell your story from such a positive point of view is so nice :) Thank you so much for sharing your story!
What a great story and I love your healthy response. Says a lot about who you are and how you were raised. Regardless of how you came to be, you are making a difference.
Thank you so much for your story it has given me better feeling about finding my family I was adopted and some days can be very hard for me but hearing your story I pray I have a good outcome.
Literally hundreds of thousands of children have been conceived using sperm donors, blessing couples who genuinely want children! Genetics are very influential and in so many ways but, they aren’t everything. Your story has a wonderful, happy outcome, nothing to be judged for by anyone, no one should judge your parents or the donor! Reproduction used to happen one way, for many decades now, it has been happening without physical interaction but anonymously. Glad you had a pleasant experience and now have more people to love!
I don’t think that’s a good thing. If someone isn’t able to have children the let it be. And the child should have a chance of being with their biological father. There’s already too many people on earth why go to such extreme lengths to have a baby?
@@cecileroy557 I have empathy for the child. It seem surrogates, using Petri dishes, and unstable homes aren’t good for the children or the rest of society as a whole.
I’m so glad u r sharing ur story. I was adopted and finding out my real history was a wild ride. My family thought they were protecting me. But truth wins out. I don’t look or think or act like my siblings. Once I found out who I really was and about my parents it changed my life as well. So many good things will come from this and most likely u will never stop discovering. This will be a great help when u finally decide to start a family. Congrats!!!!!
Everything about this is amazing, especially the people. Not to take away from that, but I have goosebumps from her pointing out that her chosen profession (ob/gyn) brings it all full circle: She will help people with reproduction just as her parents sought that help. Because they sought out help and found that help, she is here. Prior to the 23 & Me, there weren't any logical factors to explain why she was so driven to go to college & pursue that particular career path. Now we see. It's not by accident or coincidence. It's where she came from.
Wow, such an incredible story!! I assume this was the “personal, family things” going on at various times during med school. 🤯🤯🤯 what a beautiful way to share why ob/gyn is so close to your heart. I have ten siblings (all from the same two people) and I can say that although it makes things complicated, it is so rewarding and there is nothing like it 🥰 it’s sweet to hear that you’ve been able to develop a relationship with many of them.
I love how you handled these news. Literally cried when you said that you‘re close to your half siblings now and it‘s the best thing that happened to you. That‘s beautiful!!!!!
Feeling honoured that you shared such a special part of your story 💕💕💕 I am so happy for you that you are surrounded by so much love in your life. You give so much love and kindness back to others 🤍
However you came into this world you were meant to be here. You worked hard to get to where you are today! The choices you made for you got you this far! I’m glad you shared your story and I’m glad you and your siblings are close.
You're dad is a superhero. ❤ Thing in life come in the right time and if they told you when you were young maybe you wouldve never found them like oh ya my dad is still my dad and not been interested to look. What a blessing!
Not sure if this was intentional but towards the end you said “I was not supposed to be here” and you were supposed to be here regardless of how it came about! Also, genetics play a large part in who we are but it doesn’t negate the background you came from and the “nurture” that went into adult you being you. Your mom and dad (the one who raised you not the sperm donor) must be incredible people because it takes a lot to raise someone in this world to be a good person and with the drive, passion, and ambition you have. Although you have information that may make you feel like things have changed, they haven’t. You mom and dad deserve props as do you. I don’t know how I would feel if I was in your position but I hope I would be emotionally capable of processing this as well as you are and kudos for being open and willing to share. Don’t doubt yourself or minimize your accomplishments!
This was an amazing story. I like what you said about calling them your siblings, not just half-siblings. I discovered my half-siblings and had a hard time calling them siblings. When I met them, I felt an immediate connection. Thanks for sharing.
Sweetheart, I am so proud of you for taking on a role in your medical career that would enable you to be that gift giver to another family unable to conceive. So proud of you! ❤ Thank you for sharing this.😊
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story, Rachel!! The perfect way to help ease some Sundary scaries before Step 2 tomorrow! Have loved watching you grow & continue to accomplish your dreams despite all the challenges medicine brings. Going to channel your energy tomorrow!
Great story! I especially enjoyed hearing about the medical profession that runs through you and your siblings. I believe genetics plays a huge part in personality, as well as physical traits. Good luck to you!
Excited for the premiere! I have been binge watching your videos and im in High School. I subscribed 3 years ago, but was not into medicine like I have been recently. You are motivating me to study harder and more efficient this upcoming school year. I made a Excel spread sheet just like you did! Thank you so much!
@@pixelperfect5829Rachel uses it for keeping track of topics that are difficult and how many “passes” or times that she goes over a lecture or notes. It’s very good for organization!!
What an amazing story ... thank you for sharing. I just got a kit for me and my entire family and was looking for info about it, and came across your vid.
Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing your incredibly intimate side of yourself we’ve never seen. I’m so proud of you Dr. Southard ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I love that you shared your life with us… how beautiful and I think that’s such a blessing. And your parents are the best cause you never had a clue which means that you were loved and taken care of 💯 your dad sounds like a great Man! God bless you and your family and your extended family now.
A young woman I worked with same thing she came from sperm donor. First, time I ever met a person born that way but she had some good genetics. So your blessed in more ways than one.
What a wonderful journey! I was also conceived using a sperm donor, but in my case the man who was going to raise me as his child took off when I was 4. I always wondered if part of the reason was that he didn’t feel any true fatherly responsibility bc I wasn’t his biological child. It’s beautiful that your father fully recognized you and your sister as his, and knew that dna isn’t what makes a father ❤ I hope to one day connect with my half siblings. My mom has always been a bit reluctant to help me on that journey, and wouldn’t give me access to the my dna results from a test kit she ordered years ago (I had a half sibling msg me on there and she has never ending reasons as to why she can’t get me access to the account). I know I can’t possibly understand what it must be like for her, but I am determined to find the answers for which I’ve been searching. This vid has inspired me to order my own 23&me kit 😊
I’m very glad to hear from a donor conceived person that finding out about where your genetic material came from made you feel really wanted and really loved. Some families are related by blood and others are related by love. It’s also beautiful that you and your new siblings have formed such a close bond.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing such a personal part of your life even though you didn’t have to share it with us. I teared up hearing your story, it felt like everything was all connected and worked out so beautifully. It’s crazy (and wonderful) how it all happened! Feel so so grateful your very existence exists Rachel 💗 you’re just so hardworking, unapologetically yourself and gonna make the best OB GYN!
Rachel .... thank you for sharing and for being vulnerable with us. Thanks also for sharing your entire Med School experiences with us. Total respect. Best wishes as you begin your residency! We are all rooting for you.
I'm so happy that this was all a huge blessing for you! I wish 23andMe could reveal something about me, but I was adopted from Guatemala in a closed adoption; my father isn't even listed on my birth certificate. The test could never reveal anything for me, and I admit I'm a bit envious. But I'm so glad this improved and enriched your life, you deserve that and much more!
I’m happy for you. I’m also happy that you accepted what your parents did to conceive you and that your like has been enriched with so many new siblings. Good luck to you and your family.
thank you for sharing your story! similarly i was adopted when i was only a year old & have no memory of it!! my parents waited a long while to tell me & they said the same thing that you said that they had forgotten about it for so long, even my sister when i told her i knew she was like oh i dont even think about it ever anymore! because you’re so right, excellent parents know unconditional love has no bounds on genetics, love has no limits for family! when i found out though i was glad i knew and a decade later i found some bio siblings, one of which i have a great relationship with. i hope that if you desired it you also got to connect with your bio siblings, having siblings, especially sisters is the best!
Kind of a same story, with a twist. I did Ancestry for kicks and found two half siblings. Yes, my father was unfaithful when he was in the military, but I don't care. Anyway, I met my brother 6 months later and it's amazing how much we are alike! It was like I was hugging my father, who passed two years before. We bonded quickly I'm so happy to have a brother! Congrats on your news. I call it the gene pool. It's so cool!
I agree with you, Rachel. Your parents did a great thing and are good people. As an adoptee I've recently joined 23 and Me hoping to find siblings and/or half-siblings. Nothing so far except 2nd and 3rd cousins. We'll see where it goes. Good luck with your medical career.
this video brought me to tears! i’m a longtime subscriber and i’ve always admired how you embrace challenges and obstacles with med school and life. you never owe us an explanation but do know that this only makes your story that much more beautiful. thank you for being you ❤
I’m so happy to hear how much this has enriched your life, Rachel! As someone who has a paternal side she’ll never meet, I’m glad someone got to connect with newfound family ❤
Ahh, I'm finally sharing this story. This is an incredibly personal story, but it's a HUGE part of my life and i think it's finally time to talk about it with you all. I don't know why it makes me extremely nervous to hear your reactions, but above all, please be kind! :)
EDIT: Just for the record, my parents didn't lie at the dinner table! They simply didn't register/make the connection between the two primarily because they didn't think it was possible to discover that information. I brushed off the results so quickly that no one thought twice about it. I wouldn't have made that connection either, so i don't blame them. They did nothing wrong. We all handled the situation very well, and I hold no bad feelings about how everything went down, so neither should you.
Thank you for sharing this deeply personal story with us. As someone who is adopted, I love hearing stories like this :)
Hello Rachel, I am 10s into this. I will definetly be kind love ❤
I heard it all, and my opinion of you hasn't changed. Instead, it clarified to me your drive and passion that you have in that field. I hope we get to meet your sibling's some day 😜🎉
They should have told you but I understand why they didn't. I too had a ....surprise....when I did my dna. Not a donor situation tho.....but no matter what the process, it is absolutely life changing. Let's just say that for all those folks out there doing geneologies.....the odds that you too don't have secrets or lies in your family tree are not all that great.
Thank you for sharing your origin story! I recently gave birth to an IVF baby and I can assure you, the second he was earth side, HOW he got here was suddenly irrelevant. All that mattered was he was my baby. I loved him. So I can understand how your parents could have simply not thought about it regularly. I’ll be having the conversation with my boy in time. Thank you again for sharing.
I was put up for adoption because my parents were just high school students and could not keep me. Irish Catholics did not keep illegitimate children in 1953. I found them through 23 and me many years later. Turns out, a few years after I was born, they got married. I have six full siblings. They knew nothing about me, and it was a complete surprise. Sadly, my biological mother passed away before we could meet, but I have been welcomed into the rest of my biological family and it’s been wonderful.
🥹🥹🥹 so beautiful yet so heartbreaking
My great grandmother was disowned by her Irish Catholic family back in the 30's after having my great uncle out of wedlock. She was graped by my great grandfather who was 4 yrs younger. Of course, he was also a pedo. Adoption was probably necessary
My husband was widowed before I met him. There are two adoption stories in his late wife Michele's family. She was the baby sister to 5 siblings. Her sister gave up a baby son 50+ years ago that was a product of a rape. He knew he was adopted and started looking for his birth mother a number of years ago, He is now blessed to have found a bonus family that treats him better than the brother he grew up with. He looks just like one of his uncles. The second story is very similar to yours. One of late wife's brothers adopted a son. That son too started looking for his birth parents. It turned out his bio parents (teenage and Catholic at the time) went on to get married and have three daughters. The bio mother passed away several years ago but the bio father is still living. Several months ago this son came to our town from Denver to meet his bio father and his sisters. Turns out that the sisters had gone to school with several family members and the bio father and Michele's oldest brother are in Knight's of Columbus together and work the monthly K of C chicken dinner at one of the local churches.. It's a small world.
My grandma had a similar experience. Her birth mother was 15 when she was born and the state immediately took her away to be placed for adoption (I believe this was in 1948). She's so close with her birth family now after finding them about 10 years ago!
@@maddiejoy6619 that’s wonderful! I know we are the exception rather than the rule, but to have found my biological family right after I lost, my beloved, adoptive parents was quite a thrill. The fact that they have embraced me and included me in the family has also been wonderful.
Your Dad IS the hero! Many men would not consent to a sperm donor. He accepted fatherhood and unconditional love is such a gift! Thank you for opening your heart to your new identity.
he was a cuck
It was probably his wife that wanted the child first and he couldn't provide one so out of love for his wife, he agreed to it! To be honest I have to respect that man because that had to be a hard decision to make.
It's a good thing you found out before you were married because without this info, you could have married one of your half-brothers.
47 year old dad of a sperm donor conceived currently 9 year old child here. This video randomly showed up in my feed and I'm glad it did and I'm glad I clicked on it. Your story is fascinating and touching. When you said your dad is the hero in all of this, 6:05 , it brought tears to my eyes. Your words have stayed with me. I can say, personally, that I have loved my child fully and completely from the moment she was born. It never mattered from who's sperm she came from. It makes no difference to how fully I love her. I hope when she's an adult and can understand her story, she'll see me as a hero in a similar way to how you now see your dad as the hero.
Thank you so much for sharing. Judging by your words in this comment, she will certainly know that you are the hero. So heartwarming 🤍
Please don't wait till she's an adult. This video proves how disastrous that is. As soon as she understands the birds and the bees (which should be now if not already), tell her. Withholding information is deception and if you don't tell her, you would be a hypocrit if you expected her to be honest with you.
@@saraschneider6781 I don't hear any disaster in this video, just saying. Each situation is different. As a psychotherapist and working with many children and families, my advice to him is to use his gut instinct and tell her when it feels right and he feels she is ready and mature enough to take in the information. There is a right time for everything. Rachel's story feels as though it happened just as it should have actually. Maybe they could have told her earlier, but then again, would it have altered her path? Who knows. It was not disastrous by any stretch of the imagination. Thank you so humbly for sharing your beautiful story @RachelSouthard You as well @healtor492
@@SomeGal @SomeGal I was specifically speaking of the Creator's experience. HER experience was not traumatic. I feel deeply for you if this occurred for you.... I am assuming that it did not and in this case you are projecting your feelings as if it had. That is all. Everyone does have their own experience understandably and TRAUMA IS VERY REAL ( I lost my young son just a few years ago , among other things...we all have our own trauma...I 100% get it}. I must ask if this is your experience and if it was disastrous?... If so I feel deeply for you. If it is merely an opinion, you are projecting upon the previous writer of whom was simply writing about their current experience and that seems a bit unfair and somewhat judging. That is all. You could be inflicting an unnecessary trauma, guilt, and harm on this individual. Have you thought about this?? Please read comments well before you reply, and please think well as you respond... This is all I ask of you Many blessings to you and much healing
@@SomeGal I don't understand why it would even matter whether she was genetically his child or not. He loved her as his own, and he was in on the choice to get a donor. Therefore, there is no betrayal. Sheesh, until the last decade or so there wasn't really a way that this information would come out accidentally or in any way, and therefore, I am sure that many parents simply didn't mention to kids that "Hey, your Dad doesn't have any sperm, so we bought some." That is personal private health information (which by the way is information protected by law). What makes you think that as a child you should have a right to it automatically? We talk a lot about consent these days, but what you just said and the other commenter said, is that fathers in his situation don't get the decision, and the child's rights supersedes the parent's rights. I think it is up to the father to decide if he wants to share that information, as medical conditions especially of this type can be considered by the man to be very intimate and personal private information. Many men struggle mentally when they find out that they can't have children. A lot don't, but it isn't up to anybody to demand to know someone's medical information under any circumstances.
The fact is, that he is her dad, daddy, pop, poppa, or whatever term of endearment a child would use to call the man who has raised them and loved them as only a real dad could. That fact hasn't changed. The only thing that has changed is that she has 21 siblings. There was a birth of a boy child that was born stillbirth before either my sister or me. This was a subject that was so personal, that I didn't know about it till I was probably in my 30s or so. My parents weren't the ones that told me either. Was I upset because I didn't know about a stillborn probably 10 years before I was born? Hell, NO! The fact that kind of pisses me off is that someone had the audacity to tell me one of my mom's deepest darkest painful secrets. People have a right to have secrets, and you don't have the right to them. I never mentioned anything to either of my parents, because it wasn't my business in the first place, and I should have never known about it. Stop with the entitled to everything and all information from family, that you are not entitled to.
My twin sister and I did 23andme about 7 years ago. We learned that we are 100% DNA identical twins. Two of her children have done it and it links us together and it shows I am 50% their mother. I loved your story and your positive attitude.
I'm sorry, no one commented on this?
Me being a twin myself I know one thing for sure, children of twin couples are genetically siblings!
Wow! This is so interesting and beautiful in the way you’ve processed it. Thank you for sharing! Welcome to the best job ever, too. ❤
🥹 my excitement for seeing your comment! Thank you so much. ❤️
MamaDoctorJones, is the best! 🥰❤️❤️
How amazing that this was the field of medicine you entered into not knowing your parents journey with infertility. This is truly the definition of a calling over your life. You will help so many families over your career. What a story and testimony
I hadn't thought of that, how powerful of an example this is of one's calling in life 😇
Racheal: I’m sure you have heard the expression: “ Any one can make a baby however it takes a real man to be a father”. I’m sure this was a major shock to you and very emotional for your parents. You are now blessed to have this beautiful family that you never knew. Please don’t feel judged, you have wonderful insight. We all luv u!
That's a beautiful story. Your father is the man who raised you. Your ancestors are the people you knew and the people related through blood. Your father is special and should be in your heart and life forever. The sperm donor is just a footnote.
I’m a sperm donor baby too. I have 8, if not more, half siblings. I’m so grateful my parents didn’t hide it from me. I was 11 and I feel it was an appropriate time to tell me. I wish more parents were open with their kid(s) about this, as I’ve seen several siblings’ lives change similar to yours. It’s very emotional no matter when and how you discover this information, but you should be so proud for moving forward in this process. I actually am sitting in the airport going home from my annual trip I have with my 2 closest sisters. Also, thank you for being brave enough to make this video❤️
I was adopted at four days old, coincidentally my adopted dad was an OB/Gyn. After both my parents died and I was in my 60s I figured if I didn’t test soon no one would be alive who knew I existed. Fast forward, I was a surprise to everyone! Found both my biological families, and have been totally accepted. DNA tests have totally changed my life for the better ❤ wow! I just noticed you are a DO! My bio great great grandfather was Andrew Taylor Still!
NO WAY!!!! AT STILL!? That’s incredible!! I’m honored that you commented!!✨😭
Your video just popped up in my feed. My life changed too after doing a 23andme DNA test a little over 2 years ago. On my paternal side, I didn't recognize any names and I even talked to my mom about it and she said nothing. Months later my sister I was raised with received her results and we found out we were only half siblings on our mother's side. My sister is still in denial that the test is wrong. My entire life I felt like I had a different dad. Later, I was able to get my mom to confirm that yes the test was "probably correct". I made contact with my paternal family that got me in contact with my bio Dad. My mother told him when she got pregnant but told him I was not his. So, he and his family were not surprised when I popped up at 43 years old. I've spent the last 2 years connecting with my extra family. I'm glad I only found 2 more siblings lol.
Rachel, I just discovered your channel a couple weeks ago, or less and glad I have. Your story is amazing. How exciting and I guess a lot of other emotions only you understand. Your life just expanded 100 fold. I think it's no coincidence that you became a OBGYN either. Nature or nurture? I believe it's both. You have absolutely nothing to feel that people would look at you differently, there is just more to your story.
Rachel, I happened upon your story totally by accident, but it sounded intriguing, so I clicked on it. Wow! What a great story! It's absolutely amazing! You have two very important men in your life: 1) your biological dad, the one without whose participation you wouldn't be here. He's a HERO, isn't he, because you are an amazing young woman who adds a lot to the human community. 2) your actual DAD, the man who welcomed you into his life and raised you. He is also a HERO! He's a most amazing man, as well, and I'm blown away by his sweet generosity of spirit! A lot of egomaniacs out there could never have made such a choice! I'm so impressed! Tell him he has a lot in common with George Washington, who also couldn't be a father, but who raised his wife's children as his own (Martha had been married before and then widowed). Men like your DAD are precious and rare! From me, tell him I said this: "Well done, sir! I salute you!"
My dad is incredible ♥️ thank you for such a sweet comment
I have no idea why but your comment made me cry. It was so beautiful.
I think this is such a beautiful story! Shows how much your parents wanted you! And having half sibs is a blessing !
This is a fantastic story. Your Dad most certainly is the hero. He loves you dearly. As a member of a blended family, other people “think about it”, but you and your parents don't. You are family in every way. The only time it could have been complicated is if you had some health problem that family history would impact. Congratulations!
PS: over my 75 years and helping to raise bunches of kids, I've definitely adjusted my attitudes on the nature-nurture concept. I've observed that babies come into this world as their own little people. Nature sets the base. The nurture part helps to guide and hone the essence. But we can't change it. That's set. We just help it become the best whatever it can be.
Yes, first to college. First in medicine. But I can lay odds your parents praised, encouraged, and supported all the work you did every step of the way. You are a lucky young lady. I wish you the best future ever.
Such a beautiful comment. Thank you so much
You were SO WANTED that they went through all the trials of IVF and all that entailed for them. What an amazing beautiful gift to be truly wanted and loved like that!
What i really find interesting in the majority of donor conceived children is their connection with their half siblings. I know many families of full siblings (some with 7 to 9 siblings) and this level of connection and relateness does not happen between them. The same goes for half siblings from different marriages. There has to be some psychological event happening that prompts this quick sense of belonging. Makes me think when i am the only foreigner in a country and i meet someone of my nationality we immediatly connect and share traits (eventhough that connection would never happen in a different setting). I find it really interesting.
Really glad to see such a positive story, being grateful and having a loving family is definitely a blessing.
You have nothing to have reservations about Rachel. You are clearly the daughter of your Mom and Dad as you know them (being a dad is the work and love of it, not the sperm). You are also in such a terrific position to take this knowledge into your work as an OBGYN. How much more compassion and empathy can you bring to your patients having learned that your parents went through this decision making and your dad’s love for your mom led to him putting aside his pride in order to rely on a donor. What a beautiful expression of love.
I know for my kids the traits and mannerisms are so fun from the parent’s side to see expressed from one generation to the next. My daughter has several mannerisms that remind me so much of her aunt despite them not seeing each other frequently. Nature versus nurture is fascinating.
Congratulations on all the new siblings!
Thank you for this wonderful comment, Holly!❤
Dr. Rachel, as an adoptee, I applaud your courage and all your accomplishments. Best wishes with your medical career and everything.
Surprises like this are the exact reason I haven't done the 23 and Me testing. My family is FULL of secrets. Closed adoptions for numerous reason that were never disclosed, illegitimate children from multiple partners while married, unexplainable genetic medical conditions etc. I've figured out a lot of things people never planned to tell me and never wanted me to know. So I'm so so so glad that your experience went the way that it did because I know of plenty of families that are torn up by these things. I'm glad you have the platform to share this and show that there is good in the world and that families can still be happy, because it doesn't feel like there is a lot of that going around anymore. Thank you for sharing your story Rachel, family is so important and I'm happy you got to add so many new members to yours
I intend to do 23 and Me or some other DNA testing for EXACTLY those reasons.
When lies have severe negative health consequences - they must be brought to light.
do both ancestry and 23 and me as you don't know where close family members will test and they're the 2 main ones and the 2 that can't be uploaded to. all other dna companies allow uploads of you dna file so you can upload to them for free.
those tests are not great for medical stuff you need a medical grade dna test for that which is more expensive. however bio family stories are helpful in knowing what runs in the family.
that is my Southern family...can't believe anything they said cuz it proved FALSE...and I have a genetic condition that my son has and my D.O. says it is hereditary and no one else has it
I did 23&Me but didn’t find any unknown close relatives, but I wanted to find a few. My only sibling didn’t want to do it and told me not to tell her if I found any unknown children of our grandfather or father. Everyone has different opinions
My husband found his sister at age 60. I am so glad you found out so young!😊
There is no such thing as a normal family. We all are mixed up in many ways. Your story is a happy one. Enjoy your new extended family.
You were blessed by having the parents you have and the genetics to push you so much further. What a powerful story of love!
OK, 1. Your attitude is amazing. This positive, welcoming, adventureous approach. Lovely, inspiring. 2. Your parents did a great job. ❤
So happy that you have such a good head on your shoulders. Amazing how one’s life can change so quickly!
You chose to have such a mature response.. two people could go through the exact same situation, one person chooses to resent and hurt their parents over the situation, another person chooses to be understanding and empathetic of their parents. You chose to be empathetic towards your parents
I found a half sister a few years ago on 23 and me! My dad was never told about her (met before my mom) and she was told someone else was her dad. Clicked right away. Same sense of humor, same mannerisms, so crazy.
This story is surreal. I would've had goosebumps noticing the similarities with my other siblings! Also, it's such an interesting example of nature vs. nurture. So exciting, Rachel - I'm happy that you unexpectedly received this "missing puzzle piece" in your life! 😊
When I watch stories about people who meet their half siblings for the first time and are so moved and feel this great bond, I wonder if I am the only one who feels mostly indifferent towards my 5 half siblings whom I saw very little of growing up. I met them occasionally and the oldest more than the youngest. Two of them didn't understand that I was their sister until they were about 10 years old (they asked me who my father was, and first thought I was making it up when I told them that their dad is my dad too, and that I was visiting because of him). I really wish them well, they are good people and were nice children, I am sure they really are my biological family (in a way it would be easier if it turned out that my father wasn't my father after all, but I believe my mother when she says he is), but I don't feel any bond with my siblings nor do I want them in my life, and I try to prevent feeling too guilty about it by telling myself that they have each other and probably don't need me either.
What a beautiful , personal story!! Rachel, your parents are amazing to have wanted to have you and your sister enough to use a donor. Your attitude is beautiful as well!! ❤
This's such a pretty story. Plus a story like this can never change how we view you. You're amazing and your reason to go to OB/GYN is understood now cause I never knew why you wanted it so bad. Best of luck on your intern journey ❤️
The minute she started talking ,I thought "adopted"? I was. And I can understand how she feels about these 1/2 siblings. I have 3 of them and just found out about a year ago. I am a senior, so this was shocking to find out all about this, so many years later. It was one of the best gifts I have ever received ever!
My friend found out at about age 60 that the man who was presented as her father is not. But he is the father of her two younger sisters. It answered so many questions, as he had never treated her the same. All of her questions of why didn’t he love me, what was wrong with me were gone like a poof of smoke! And she got 4-5 half siblings. She loves family so that was a real bonus. Unfortunately her biological dad had died long before.
What a beautiful story! Families are created in so many ways. I have an adopted cousin and he is 100% my cousin. I don’t think about it any differently. I think your parents did a great job handling this. There isn’t an instruction manual for talking to children about how they became part of their family. Genetics are fascinating and I’m thankful for modern medicine for this and so many other reasons. It’s awesome that you have a platform to bring awareness that every child and his or her family is special. Couples or single parents may be apprehensive to use a sperm donor and you can use your story to help other babies come into this world. If your parents didn’t work so hard to have you and your sister, you wouldn’t be here to have this opportunity to help others the way your parents were helped. Such an amazing full circle moment!
RACHEL IM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR EVERYTHING! As a soon to be pharmacist, I’m excited to have someone like you in the medical field. We need more people like you. Keep up the great work sis ❤
YOUR DAD IS AMAZING 🎉 that’s a hard concept. What an absolute MAN🎉 WHAT AN AMAZING LOVING FAMILY
You are a wonderful addition to the world! Bravo, mum and dad!
Your story is unique and touching. I agree that your dad was heroic.
My mom was adopted and always wanted to find her parents. For Christmas one year..my sister and I got her the ancestry DNA kit. My mom sent in her sample and she actually found her paternal dad, who was in his 90’s. The whole time he lived local. Thanks for sharing your story with us❤.
My mind is absolutely blown!!! That is amazing, Rachel!! I'm so happy for you that your life has been enhanced by finding this out about yourself, and meeting your siblings!!! What an incredible story 💞 Definitely makes sense in the context of your interest in OBGYN too!!!
Rachel is a very bright shining Star!!
So can we trust our parents to tell us the truth??? I get it but don’t your child deserve the truth??
I've decided it's no big deal. I was adopted as a baby and always knew it. I was grateful my parents told me up front. I did do some research, discovered my birth mother and realized we lived very different lives and that's ok. Your life is yours to live. It's very true that nature (genetics) will steer you more than you you can imagine, but in the end, you choose. How will you use your talents?
I’m so sorry your parents didn’t tell you much sooner. I know it must have been hard to have children. I had eight plus miscarriages and chose to adopt a daughter at birth. We chose to tell her at an early age. She knew by the time she was 2 years old. Bless you and don’t be embarrassed!
I’m glad your parents seem to be cool with you having relationships with your half siblings! You now have a group of people who understand what you’re going through too. I love how open your heart is.
Thank you for sharing that story. You took something that could play with someone mentally and made it a positive thing, it IS a positive thing! You can never have too much family around!! ❤
Similar family puzzle: My mother was the first to finish college, had a passion for the medical field, was a concert pianist and gifted with languages. None of her older siblings had these passions/giftings. My cousins were very different from my brother and I. Years later, I discovered my mother had a different father. I found that family, and they were so very similar to my brother and I. My face finally made sense. Our interests and abilities made sense. I felt a wholeness. Now, this was the result of an affair, but I’m still happy and grateful be here.
Your Dad deserves a superhero badge. Quite a story.
Wow, I love how raw and authentic you are in sharing your story and make yourself vulnerable in front of an audience you don't even know personally. And from watching your videos it seems like you're a really kind and passionate person. Thanks for letting us take part in your journey :-) All the best and blessings for your residency! This is what you were born for!!
Amazing story! I'm 48 in Jan...a friend bought me a 23 and me for Christmas... I was adopted at 3.5 yrs old. Thanks for lessening my anxiety.
Update
Personally, if a family member or friend purchased a DNA test kit for me, that would be a red flag that maybe I need to know something that I need to know. I would proceed, but with caution.🎉
My mom used a sperm donor as a single mother after her divorce to have another child (me) so I always knew. My half sister on my moms side and I have a 7 year age gap so we were never close at all, it felt like I was an only child. Meeting my half siblings that were close in age to me, very similar to me, looked like me etc... was the best thing to ever happen to me.
This brings to mind the sentiment that "love always finds a way" and thanks to advances in fertility treatments love triumphed and you are a result of that. You were always meant to be and your parents found a way to make that happen and we are so glad they did.
This is a beautiful story! I love that your parents who raised you seem to be wonderful people! I love that you now have a huge wonderful family of siblings in addition to enrich your life!
Hey! I'm following you since your first year of medical school, and u helped me alot during my journey trying to get accepted to medical school here in Israel. Your videos gave me a push during the HUGE amount of tests I took in the last couple of years, but this one is absolutely my favorite. My mom used a sperm donor and IVF in my pregnancy and 3 years ago I took a test too through FamilyTree and found a brother from the same sperm donor and we are really good friends now. Life is full with mysteries, thank you for sharing, you made my day :)
Thank you soo so much for sharing your story with us & trusting us with such a personal thing! Just know that we are so proud of you and no matter what anyone says or assumes, they are just mad cuz they ain't you! You're Dr. Southard, our rafiqi, our red ant, and we are so effin proud of everything you do, have done, and continue to do!
That’s a cool story. I was adopted in Bulgaria. You have a purpose and have made an impact on so many people.
You have a great dad and mom, they wanted you so badly that they worked extra hard to have you. ❤
But they still should have told her from an early age. Kids are very accepting and they just get on with it but to withhold such information could have ended their relationship because they lied to her and that's not right, she had a right to know who her birth father was.
This is such a good example to understanding nature vs nurture. How beautiful!
Hi Rachel! I've been watching you since you started medical school and you have been such an inspiration for me! My moms used a sperm donor to have my sister and me (she is from my other mom) and we have at least 15 other half-siblings as well. We found out about each other from the donor sibling registry, and a few more have popped up from the 23&me the past few years! It is so nice to hear that you come from a similar background and that you are so open about it. I've known about my other siblings my whole life and I have always had mixed feelings about it, but hearing you tell your story from such a positive point of view is so nice :) Thank you so much for sharing your story!
So glad your parents sought the help they needed. Obviously, they are good parents and you have been given a priceless gift. Congratulations!
What a great story and I love your healthy response. Says a lot about who you are and how you were raised. Regardless of how you came to be, you are making a difference.
What an amazing story !!! Absolutely life altering. I just sent out my kit and after seeing your video I can’t wait to see my results. 👍🏻👍🏻
Thank you so much for your story it has given me better feeling about finding my family I was adopted and some days can be very hard for me but hearing your story I pray I have a good outcome.
Literally hundreds of thousands of children have been conceived using sperm donors, blessing couples who genuinely want children! Genetics are very influential and in so many ways but, they aren’t everything. Your story has a wonderful, happy outcome, nothing to be judged for by anyone, no one should judge your parents or the donor! Reproduction used to happen one way, for many decades now, it has been happening without physical interaction but anonymously. Glad you had a pleasant experience and now have more people to love!
I don’t think that’s a good thing. If someone isn’t able to have children the let it be. And the child should have a chance of being with their biological father. There’s already too many people on earth why go to such extreme lengths to have a baby?
@@NFS305 I'll just say that I def. do NOT agree with you... It seems you have no empathy for anyone wanting so desperately to have a baby.
@@cecileroy557 I have empathy for the child. It seem surrogates, using Petri dishes, and unstable homes aren’t good for the children or the rest of society as a whole.
I’m so glad u r sharing ur story. I was adopted and finding out my real history was a wild ride. My family thought they were protecting me. But truth wins out. I don’t look or think or act like my siblings. Once I found out who I really was and about my parents it changed my life as well. So many good things will come from this and most likely u will never stop discovering. This will be a great help when u finally decide to start a family. Congrats!!!!!
Everything about this is amazing, especially the people. Not to take away from that, but I have goosebumps from her pointing out that her chosen profession (ob/gyn) brings it all full circle: She will help people with reproduction just as her parents sought that help. Because they sought out help and found that help, she is here. Prior to the 23 & Me, there weren't any logical factors to explain why she was so driven to go to college & pursue that particular career path. Now we see. It's not by accident or coincidence. It's where she came from.
Wow, such an incredible story!! I assume this was the “personal, family things” going on at various times during med school. 🤯🤯🤯 what a beautiful way to share why ob/gyn is so close to your heart. I have ten siblings (all from the same two people) and I can say that although it makes things complicated, it is so rewarding and there is nothing like it 🥰 it’s sweet to hear that you’ve been able to develop a relationship with many of them.
I think this would be my favorite video you have posted. I absolutely love hearing the warmth you feel when retelling it.
Wow, thank you!
I love how you handled these news. Literally cried when you said that you‘re close to your half siblings now and it‘s the best thing that happened to you. That‘s beautiful!!!!!
Feeling honoured that you shared such a special part of your story 💕💕💕 I am so happy for you that you are surrounded by so much love in your life. You give so much love and kindness back to others 🤍
However you came into this world you were meant to be here. You worked hard to get to where you are today! The choices you made for you got you this far! I’m glad you shared your story and I’m glad you and your siblings are close.
You're dad is a superhero. ❤ Thing in life come in the right time and if they told you when you were young maybe you wouldve never found them like oh ya my dad is still my dad and not been interested to look. What a blessing!
Not sure if this was intentional but towards the end you said “I was not supposed to be here” and you were supposed to be here regardless of how it came about! Also, genetics play a large part in who we are but it doesn’t negate the background you came from and the “nurture” that went into adult you being you. Your mom and dad (the one who raised you not the sperm donor) must be incredible people because it takes a lot to raise someone in this world to be a good person and with the drive, passion, and ambition you have. Although you have information that may make you feel like things have changed, they haven’t. You mom and dad deserve props as do you. I don’t know how I would feel if I was in your position but I hope I would be emotionally capable of processing this as well as you are and kudos for being open and willing to share.
Don’t doubt yourself or minimize your accomplishments!
This was an amazing story. I like what you said about calling them your siblings, not just half-siblings. I discovered my half-siblings and had a hard time calling them siblings. When I met them, I felt an immediate connection. Thanks for sharing.
Sweetheart, I am so proud of you for taking on a role in your medical career that would enable you to be that gift giver to another family unable to conceive. So proud of you! ❤ Thank you for sharing this.😊
This is an amazing story!!! I’m so happy that you found your brothers and sisters…so much love!!!💕A true miracle story!!!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story, Rachel!! The perfect way to help ease some Sundary scaries before Step 2 tomorrow! Have loved watching you grow & continue to accomplish your dreams despite all the challenges medicine brings. Going to channel your energy tomorrow!
Goodluck tomorrow! You got this :)
@@RachelSouthard This gave me the little confidence boost I needed! Onto Level 2 on Friday :)
Great story! I especially enjoyed hearing about the medical profession that runs through you and your siblings. I believe genetics plays a huge part in personality, as well as physical traits. Good luck to you!
I love how you look at the positive aspects of this unique situation!! Some people are so much less forgiving of their parents.
Excited for the premiere! I have been binge watching your videos and im in High School. I subscribed 3 years ago, but was not into medicine like I have been recently. You are motivating me to study harder and more efficient this upcoming school year. I made a Excel spread sheet just like you did! Thank you so much!
Sorry, Excel spreadsheet for what?
@@pixelperfect5829Rachel uses it for keeping track of topics that are difficult and how many “passes” or times that she goes over a lecture or notes. It’s very good for organization!!
What an amazing story ... thank you for sharing. I just got a kit for me and my entire family and was looking for info about it, and came across your vid.
Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing your incredibly intimate side of yourself we’ve never seen. I’m so proud of you Dr. Southard
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I love that you shared your life with us… how beautiful and I think that’s such a blessing. And your parents are the best cause you never had a clue which means that you were loved and taken care of 💯 your dad sounds like a great Man! God bless you and your family and your extended family now.
A young woman I worked with same thing she came from sperm donor. First, time I ever met a person born that way but she had some good genetics. So your blessed in more ways than one.
It’s a beautiful story and you are so loved obviously
What a wonderful journey! I was also conceived using a sperm donor, but in my case the man who was going to raise me as his child took off when I was 4. I always wondered if part of the reason was that he didn’t feel any true fatherly responsibility bc I wasn’t his biological child. It’s beautiful that your father fully recognized you and your sister as his, and knew that dna isn’t what makes a father ❤ I hope to one day connect with my half siblings. My mom has always been a bit reluctant to help me on that journey, and wouldn’t give me access to the my dna results from a test kit she ordered years ago (I had a half sibling msg me on there and she has never ending reasons as to why she can’t get me access to the account). I know I can’t possibly understand what it must be like for her, but I am determined to find the answers for which I’ve been searching. This vid has inspired me to order my own 23&me kit 😊
I’m very glad to hear from a donor conceived person that finding out about where your genetic material came from made you feel really wanted and really loved. Some families are related by blood and others are related by love.
It’s also beautiful that you and your new siblings have formed such a close bond.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing such a personal part of your life even though you didn’t have to share it with us. I teared up hearing your story, it felt like everything was all connected and worked out so beautifully. It’s crazy (and wonderful) how it all happened! Feel so so grateful your very existence exists Rachel 💗 you’re just so hardworking, unapologetically yourself and gonna make the best OB GYN!
Rachel .... thank you for sharing and for being vulnerable with us. Thanks also for sharing your entire Med School experiences with us. Total respect. Best wishes as you begin your residency! We are all rooting for you.
I'm so happy that this was all a huge blessing for you! I wish 23andMe could reveal something about me, but I was adopted from Guatemala in a closed adoption; my father isn't even listed on my birth certificate. The test could never reveal anything for me, and I admit I'm a bit envious. But I'm so glad this improved and enriched your life, you deserve that and much more!
this put a HUGE smile on my face, im so happy for you :)
I’m happy for you. I’m also happy that you accepted what your parents did to conceive you and that your like has been enriched with so many new siblings. Good luck to you and your family.
Your reaction on all of this is just beautiful. Love your viev on life. You are amasing. ❤ from Norway.
this is absolutely amazing. so full circle that you chose to be an OBGYN.
thank you for sharing your story! similarly i was adopted when i was only a year old & have no memory of it!! my parents waited a long while to tell me & they said the same thing that you said that they had forgotten about it for so long, even my sister when i told her i knew she was like oh i dont even think about it ever anymore! because you’re so right, excellent parents know unconditional love has no bounds on genetics, love has no limits for family! when i found out though i was glad i knew and a decade later i found some bio siblings, one of which i have a great relationship with. i hope that if you desired it you also got to connect with your bio siblings, having siblings, especially sisters is the best!
That is such a beautiful thing to share. Thank you for being comfortable to share this with us xxx
Kind of a same story, with a twist. I did Ancestry for kicks and found two half siblings. Yes, my father was unfaithful when he was in the military, but I don't care. Anyway, I met my brother 6 months later and it's amazing how much we are alike! It was like I was hugging my father, who passed two years before. We bonded quickly I'm so happy to have a brother! Congrats on your news. I call it the gene pool. It's so cool!
I agree with you, Rachel. Your parents did a great thing and are good people.
As an adoptee I've recently joined 23 and Me hoping to find siblings and/or half-siblings. Nothing so far except 2nd and 3rd cousins. We'll see where it goes.
Good luck with your medical career.
this video brought me to tears! i’m a longtime subscriber and i’ve always admired how you embrace challenges and obstacles with med school and life. you never owe us an explanation but do know that this only makes your story that much more beautiful. thank you for being you ❤
I’m so happy to hear how much this has enriched your life, Rachel! As someone who has a paternal side she’ll never meet, I’m glad someone got to connect with newfound family ❤
What an amazing and beautiful edition to your life. Family love just multiples ❤
Thank you :)