Learn When to Let Go | Being Well Podcast
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 พ.ค. 2024
- Most personal growth content out there suggests having a "never give up" mindset. But the truth is that a big part of life is deciding when it's time to stop investing our limited effort in that job, skill, or relationship that is no longer serving you.
Today Dr. @RickHanson joins me to explore how to determine when it's time for things to end, deal with disappointment, give ourselves credit for our good effort, and get excited about what's to come.
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Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
2:15 Being sure you’re not ending too soon.
4:50 Improving distress tolerance vs. protecting yourself.
9:50 Trusting the past.
13:30 What keeps people stuck: sunk cost fallacy.
14:30 The longing for a just world.
16:50 Dealing with disappointment.
22:00 Optimism, and turning toward the future.
24:30 Understanding the limitations of our environment.
27:15 Redefining success.
29:05 Knowing you gave things your best effort.
31:00 Impulsivity.
32:30 Unilateral virtue.
36:30 Finding your five.
38:30 Helping other people feel heard.
41:45 Being clear about the “last chance.”
44:30 The fear of change, and turning toward the future.
51:45 Recap.
About Me: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
About the Being Well Podcast: Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore the practical science of lasting well-being with the help of world-class guest experts, and teach you how to build reliable inner strengths, overcome your challenges, and get the most out of life.
You can follow me here:
🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 www.forresthanson.com
📸 / f.hanson
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Two nice smart gentle kind men. Thanks for your work
I like the way forrest speaks/his dad too/they have soothing voices---great content too of course!
“Where is there more fertile ground, for the seeds that I have within me, that I want to bring into being?” - Love this piece, Rick!!! Added to my notes :)
Yes, I swear this is like seeing
Mr Rogers with his child. What a beautiful man he was. Please take that as a compliment.
Thank you so much. I have recently understood why I hung on so long to my family of origin. I did not want to see who they were and how unhealthy their behavior was because I was in an unhealthy marriage for 22 years(25 year relationship). Now that I’m remarried and in a loving healthy relationship for the first time in my life I have finally had the strength to face the truth.
Love this Podcast series! Such wisdom shared in a genuine, intelligent, compassionate way. Many thanks to Forrest and Dr Rick Hanson.
I echo this. Thank you this wonderful place to go on TH-cam for wisdom and genuine caring and deep understanding for what we humans go through.
@@lynnehendersonfisher qàq
Wow! Ten stars out of five for this. You have addressed many core fears, hesitations and angst in the human experience with practical, grounded, accessible perspective and possibility while validating the whole of the experience and person. You have accomplished in one hour, the antidote to what is often not translated in this quality of fullness within the helping or healing professions. Thank you for filling in these spaces. Thank you for sharing presence.
Thank you both so much I’m thinking of the book Necessary Endings byDr Henry Cloud which was really helpful . The truth is for me that is I’ve come to the point where I think this is a constant thing and I don’t feel brave / strong I just feel mostly scared!!!!!!Very comforting to hear a calm conversation about something sooooo deep especially between a son and father Thanks again ..
This is perfect advice for where I am in life now
Timely in my life. Thank you.
So much wisdom here and incredibly relevant to my life, particularly currently. I, like Rick, recognize a tendency in myself to push too far. Recognizing the principles at play and allowing compassion and freedom for myself has helped. Huge thanks to you both for continuing to support me on this journey! I’m absolutely loving all the content. 🙏✨
Excellent. Thank you so much for discussing this topic. The suggestions for healing are enlightening and provide a needed path forward. Thank you for your time and effort with this project.
This is sooo spot on!! I'm 55 and am just done with relationships that suck the life out of me and then I'm in bed for months recovering! I don't have the energy anymore and it affects me physically. I've had to walk away from my youngest son and my side of the family. The peace that I have now, is something that I will NEVER give up again, for ANY relationship. Thank you for the validation!❤
Great podcast!😊 I've been going through and listening to a lot of past videos. Thank you!
Thank you both.
I’m Grateful for this interview. I feel better about the actual ending of what was impending.
Thank you!! Spoke to me.
Thank you for yet another amazing presentation on relationships and then how to navigate the endings! Much-needed right now!
This is so relevant
Love your content, super helpful! hoping to hear a cast about how to navigate betrayal trauma, betrayal and how the betrayer can gain their partners6 trust back. Thanks! (And not just adultery, pornography, pathological lying, gaslighting behaviours, never coming to resolution, being made to feel sexually unsafe by partner, objectified by partner, unsafe in general, deceiving partner.)
I wish I could have seen this video 20 yrs ago.
Enjoyed listening to you both so much.
I feel like sometimes it’s a mixture of both some unreasonable and reasonable expectations. I’m trying to be ok with feeling sad. It’s a real shame. That’s just the reality.
Thank you so much, that was so helpful dealing with multiple endings with childhood ending scenarios influencing my responses. I want to ask about the parent/child relationship where a parent cannot continue a relationship with their child or the child with their parent when things break down but in the case of a parent, we cannot end our relationship with our child. How about the fear that one's child wants to end their relationship with the parent? It is a bit of a taboo topic and one that has affected my life very much from early childhood to the present. I would live to hear some insights about these very taboo types of endings that in some ways can't really properly end or can they? Or should they?
If it's metal on metal- no return to baseline, end it now! Take care of yourself and live your life. HEAL and peacefully MOVE ON
When people show you who they are - 3 strikes your out- I allowed way too many strikes due to narcissistic abuse, addiction and toxic family of my husband
Had trouble with the podcast because of the way it pulled in 2 different directions...one that focused on romantic relationships,the other focusing on work related relationships . I had a difficult time going back and forth.
Thank you for this. Going through a divorce and all signs say I should let go but I am struggling.
Super helpful, thank you!
Thank you so much!
Thank you!
❤
so a bit too much about myself here but it's for a good reasons, I never met my dad until I was 17, mom didn't tell him about me, he ultimately ditched me (long story), everyone always says it's his loss...Anyways it's really interesting to watch this father and son talk about these subjects episode to episode in a way that I would have hoped my dad would want to be around and teach me. Thank you for being there for your son. we all make mistakes, I did but not enough to be ditched by my dad you know....anyways last thing Dr. Hanson kinda even looks like my dad, it's all a weird coincidence I guess. Also Forrest I'm a 6 enneagram also, I appreciate that episode a lot. Who is your 5 is an excellent idea that should be spread far and wide. I found Dr. Hanson when he wrote Buddha's Brain way back when and I find that your work resonates with me. cheers friends.
Thank you both!
Yes very much so
Weighing out should I end this situation after all the effort
and time
Let it go bc it's showing it's
not growing or manifesting
into something worth the effort
Very hard and can be very
deeply hurtful
How do you you resolve it
Through the mind or through
your emotions
👍👍
If they strike 100 times, and I still keep trying, what does that say about me?
But…. What if…. Almost all things in one’s life are this level of distressing….? What do you do then ?
What should I do if I don't have my five? Like none of them
16:15
Co