@Psych2Go I had a situashion ocurr multipul times were i tried to explain to someone how i felt about a specific thing they did repeatedly... One time i said "please stop, I need some time by myself" thoes were our set of "safe" words for when things got to heated... Sadly they would always push me and then say something that would force me to respond back to them again instead of letting me leave so I could calm down. After the heated argument and calming down i would go back and try to explain to them that i didnt like what they did. "Hey, can we talk? I dont like something that you did and would like to speek about it and why i dont like it" this person was the type to constantly repeat the same thing over and over and over without a break or any changes inbetween so it was like how a friend or sibling would consistently make the same noise or do something very irritateing .. But the difference was that they didnt stop repeating and it would go on for days, it would even start up again after a few months if brought up again and they would use it as an excuse of some sort weather it was valid or not. After thoes conversashions i would tell them "I feel like your not listening to me because you keep repeating" then they would apoliguize and say "but" sutch and sutch which was them repeating again dispite just being told about it and how it made me feel. Once i realized they wouldent stop i would be furious again and say "Whatever, forget it... Im tierd of hearing you repeat yourself constantly." And dropped the onesided conversashion. We would go for a day or two without talking and then go back to normal. Could you make a video on this or tell me how to deal with this situashion for future reference?
Told my girlfriend, in a very underhanded and uncalled for way, that she was terrible at communicating. I let her know that I made it there safe, without saying when or where I came from or where I made it to. She was worried and confused, and asked where I was. I snarkily responded, “If you wouldve responded sooner, maybe you would know.”
@@adobepastryssss8132 us. I'm going to therapy myself now and I've been told to put myself before others. Being a therapist for everyone isn't good for yourself. I'm glad I understood in time.
*8 toxic things people say to each other (without realizing)* 0:39 - “You’re too sensitive“, or “calm down” 1:22 - “Just forget it”, or “whatever” 1:52 - “I am done” 2:32 - “I am sure it’s not that bad”, or “you’ll get over it” 3:23 “You’re just like your [insert relative here]” 4:05 - “You’re crazy“ 4:56 - Not saying anything, or giving the silent treatment 5:39 - “You never…” or “You always…” Big hug to anyone reading ❤️🚀🌙
@@_Diggler unfortunately that is a very clear example of toxicity: making the other person feel at fault for their shortcomings, plus emotional manipulation (“I am done”). I know for a fact, it is very hard to endure such type of relationships, so (of course) don’t blame it on yourself. I hope you’re ok now ❤️
I do 6 out of 8 of these things, a big one for me is saying “you always / you never” .. I kinda cried half way through this video cause it made me realize how toxic of a person I can be sometimes. but these videos help us learn! Thumbs up!
You are not the only one! If you are really human you make this mistakes.. You can't always be perfect and talk nicely to someone. You should be self conscious of every single word that comes out of your mouth. Think first and then speak, but it is not easy when the situation doesn't help. You try your best not to hurt someone's feelings in different ways
Literally had a fight with my partner an hour ago. This was much needed. My problem is keeping things internally and not communicating with my partner. Silent treatment is my go to. I needed this video so much! Thank you! I just have to express what I need.
What if i try communicating and it backfires of making me feel more empty and guilty. It took a lot to reach out and it is soul crushing to see my loved one (my mom) belittle ans not understand my feelings. 🥲
One month ago, I was messaging one of my best friends about what I was doing this summer and other personal stuff and she hasn’t replied for awhile. Until the next day, she replied to me, and she said some pretty nasty things about me and lied to me a whole lot. It turns out that she’s a fake friend and a toxic person. 😕💔
Absolutely trigged by the words "I'm done". I'd heard it for years when I was with a manipulative person, and would never choose to stick around with someone once they've said that. It just shows they don't value you enough to properly work on the struggles in the relationship and would prefer to bail. That constant feeling of the relationship being on the verge of ending is too painful to tolerate again. I am waiting for as long as necessary to meet someone who can be open minded and communicate effectively with me rather than threaten to throw in the towel every other day.
It seems that my one and I are fighting more than makeing love . I don't think either one of us knows how to have a healthy relationship. Altho their is a significant age difference we didn't let that interfere with our love.. Everytime we would fight or she gets mad she withholds love . No matter how much I try and she tries to communicate , it always ends up with distance and silence. After we finally make up for a day or too. In thoes moments I feel very close to her and want to open up completely, so I do . When I am completely honest and feel very vulnerable she gets super angry all over again and is never empathizeing or being understanding.. just another week or two of anger no physical contact. Shot and rude behavior. Then says it's all my fault..what do I do
@@staciedixon3802 it might help to have a neutral mediator or dare I say, maybe couples therapy if both of you are willing. This comment is an excellent ice breaker to show you are both actually trying to work on things. It's sometimes very difficult to communicate between people very abstract feelings. I've been there with over 10 year age difference in past relationship. Sometimes just that can cause misinterpretation. I hope you both can work things out, glad you are trying and watching these helpful videos. 👏🏽🙏🏽
@@staciedixon3802 maybe it’s more than just plain they don’t want to communicate. It sounds kinda like narcissistic tendencies. We all go through them, some people obviously don’t care to make themselves better, but others become aware of their actions and then try to change. It does sound like you may need a couples therapist so that that person can help her see how she’s hurting you and the relationship. If they choose not to from there, You might want to rethink the relationship. It’s sounds like they’re not willing to put in the work and ultimately you’d be the one wasting your time when you’re trying to invest for a long term relationship. If anything I would look into narcissistic relationship and videos on YT just to see if that fits your situation because that manipulation can play with your head and heart heavily. And if they cannot empathize and don’t deal well with your emotions… its sounding like Narcissistic tendencies to me
It's crazy how I was thinking about this today. I told myself I don't ever want to feel scared of losing someone simply because there's an argument. So I am going to wait for the right partner no matter how long it is and if I never find him, I at least don't have to live a life full of rollercoasters.
No matter how hard you try to be self aware I feel like we’ve all said one of these at least once or twice but being self aware and trying to think about the others emotions a bit more can help combat some of these bad habits 🙏🏽
Same. Once.i wanted to know why a fire started in my building and not knly did the FD dismiss my concerns my friend said "it doesn't matter why as long as it's out." Wait what? It doesn't matter why a fire started and my concerns with how it happened???????? Not to mention being dismissed or not believed regarding my own mental health. I don't get why people think this is ok to say to their friends/family or s/o it doesn't matter or it's not that deep unless they are speaking about their own issues and don't want to discuss, not the other person's. concerns.
That's why I don't talk to folk I don't know. I don't wanna know how your day's going, what happened during one of your IT classes, etc. Do they introduce themselves? Not at all but they'll talk that s*** saying "mm.. he thinks he's better than the rest of us" when I keep to myself. All this BS is avoided when earbuds are allowed in the workplace
Two phrases I absolutely hate are “It is what it is” and “ This too shall pass.” It sounds like the person could just care less and doesn’t want to hear about it. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and then they say something like this. It makes me feel trivial.
You are right but mate I’m gonna tell you something Stuff like this, toxicity in friendships and relationships amongst other things, it’s already been bad, it’s been bad since the dawn of man, since Jesus was on the cross, since the founding of America so it is indeed what it is Basically all these bad things in the world, it’s already been bad since the start of man and it isn’t that we don’t care less we say it is what it is because it’s been this way from the dawn of man so we just gotta get used to it The truth is anyone is gonna hate you or not care about you or your well-being so you just gotta get ready prepared and used to it son Ok bye
@@Antonio-fj5gs I think I stead of getting used to other people being toxic, other people should realize they’re toxic and get used to the idea of changing their behavior. Instead of forcing others to just deal with it, they should work on their flaws so we can all suffer a lot less… Causing others to suffer, because you suffered doesn’t help anyone.
@@HappilyAnonymousGirl yes but as I said we are trying to fix the world but it’s been bad and sometimes what we do doesn’t always work That was I meant
"Feelings aren't Facts." It completely dismisses their feelings. My response: No feelings aren't facts. They are felt and felt strongly in the moment and need to be acknowledged. Feelings are valid. They will change over time, but that doesn't make them any less valid in the moment.
I think people use the silent treatment because after expressing concerns again and again and being ignored you’ve learned…nothing is going to change so just keep it to yourself
I think it's important to communicate after no change has been seen the first time around, with a plan of action on how they could address the problem. Sometimes, people don't know how to change, and a compromise of what can be done could work.
yep that's a struggle. I think the way to improve there is to say things earlier, when it won't necessarily create an argument. Many little things that annoy you can create an argument, but if it's only one and you express it with good manners, it probably won't be an argument. But I know that's precisely the hard part. Also, silent treatment can be necessary/benefitial in some cases, but it's hard to judge when.
I didn't know at the time that being called crazy, in a non playful way, was disrespectful until I met my spouse and they said "you are not crazy and I'll never think you are" and since then I felt comfortable to be me without judgment. But I use to always lable myself as "crazy" and it hurt because other people close to me use to label me that maybe because I wasn't like everyone else in the family IDK but I'm glad my view about myself changed
0:00 Intro 0:38 1、 “You’re too sensitive“, or “calm down” 1:21 2、 “Just forget it”, or “whatever” 1:51 3、 “I am done” 2:31 4、 “I am sure it’s not that bad”, or “you’ll get over it” 3:21 5、 “You’re just like your [insert relative here]” 4:04 6、 “You’re crazy“ 4:56 7、 “Not saying anything, or giving the silent treatment“ 5:37 8、 “You never…” or “You always…” 6:51 Outro
Correct me because I might be wrong but I believe youtube is not as accessible in China which is where many people who speak exclusively mandarin come from.
@@Slow-zm5wv I dont think so，there are so many mandarin channels have so many many subscribers，such as “Mr & Mrs Gao”，“小高姐的 Magic Ingredients”，“Ak‘s Tech Studio”，“小Lin说”......and so so on😂
@@psych2gomandarin thank you for letting me know, I usually don't follow those channels because I don't speak the language but hopefully your channel starts growing soon because your goal of spreading mental health content is an admirable one. After all this kind of content should be more widely spread and normalized in my opinion.
I opened the video to go through time stamp but then I saw it was 12 sec ago...💀 So here it is 0:41 you are too sensitive/calm down 1:25 just forget it/whatever 1:52 i am done 2:32 i am sure it's not that bad/ you'll get over it 3:26 you are just like your( ) 4:05 you're crazy 4:58 not saying anything or giving silent treatment 5:40 you never/you always
"You'll get over it" is something I constantly heard from my parents. If there was something I didn't enjoy doing or didn't want go do, or somewhere I didn't want to go, they'd force me to go anyway and then get on me if I acted upset. Essentially forcing me to "get over it". Even if I never really felt right at the end.
“I’m done” is absolutely an appropriate response to someone repeatedly disrespecting your boundaries after trying many times to establish them. Abusers capitalize on empathetic, reserved approaches to conflict resolution so putting up a wall is often necessary to protect yourself.
I love these videos. I noticed in a lot of people, they tend to "project their annoyances'". If they get frustrated at another person's trait, chances are, it's a trait they subconsciously posess but don't like about themselves. I used to know a person who was constantly interrupting me and it made me want to explode. Then I realise I interrupted people; often. Similarly, how a cheating partner will accuse their partner of cheating on them. The human psyche is a crazy, ironic thing.
I think the one I'm most guilty of out of these is the silent treatment. Most of the time, I'll get overwhelmed and have to process the things being said for a bit before I can actually say something of importance and help, and sometimes I have mini freak-outs in my head because I get so indecisive and confused on what to say next.
@@ruiqi22 that's a really good idea in theory, but whenever I'm in that state I can't think about anything except what's in my head and it warps whatever the situation I'm in at the time.
Clearly communicate that exact behavior then your partner should be able to recognize when you’re overwhelmed… or at least understand. Don’t beat yourself up for it
Unfortunately i discovered that i am really bad at communicating especially when my emotions are involved, i noticed that whenever i try to communicate; i end up just adding fuel the fire and making it worse. I also found myself either protecting myself in order to not get hurt by somehow being toxic (like some of the ways mentioned in the video) or being completely tolerant and accept whatever is thrown at me in order to do not lose the person that i care about. Thank you for providing such a video and please do not hesitate to post more about these topics because a lot of beautiful things are getting ruined because of miscommunication
I actually used to have such a bad friend like this. They’re still my “friend” ig but very negative. Every time I would tell them something or vent about a person, a thing or anything they would say the phrases : “Oh well what could you do?” “Well thats *blank* for you.” Then they would proceed to tell me how they had such a fun time with the person that just upset me. I used to think “oh im over reacting im just not normal and weird.” No that’s not true. I also suggest with friendship don’t talk about someone your friend hates unless they wanna know about it (mostly if something bad happened for me personally 🍵).
This is an incredible video because there’s been a lot of things that make people scared and distant to emotional communication and even look down on it but this just reminds you that doing that is sometimes the best option if your not dealing with someone who’s I’ll take advantage of the venerability of course. Also loving the animation style in this one great job all around
"Just forget it" "You'll get over it" Both of these are what my mom said when I told her what trauma I went through when I was 19. I can't forget or get over it...
"It's all in your head." a professional and personal friend refused to facilitate an apology (he was put in the role of contact between clients) and kept saying It's all in your head. You guys nailed it with this video by citing those who refuse to acknowledge another's feelings, diminishing them to the ground, and walking away. It's not kind, responsible or even close to being understanding. Thank you for this particuarly useful video because so many of us raised by critical parents got used to being minimized and will accept it as adults, while it tears us up inside. Bless you for all the trainings and insights, plus validation that NO,, It's not all in my head, just because XYZ says it is
I'm not the most understanding and/or empathetic person, I'm more so the opposite. I have problems with anger and have trouble sorting out my own emotions. These videos always help me help myself and others, so thank you Psych2Go 💙
I always grew up in a toxic environment with family and new I carried some traits I stopped with a lot and know I have even more to learn and grow from. Especially living in an angry/abusive environment every day is what I grew used to I never realized those little things can be toxic. Now I’m aware not to say that to my partner in a fight and will continue to try to get better. I’m only getting better little by little and don’t want to be like them and don’t want to use them as an excuse for my behavior I’m aware I have some traits even though it gets hard to accept but I know I don’t wanna be like them so I promise myself to keep trying and to change for the better 😊
Great video! I liked how they not only included common phrases of toxic people but also explained WHY the statements or their implications were toxic. Also, sadly relatable.
"Your too sensitive," is something my brother says to me ALOT...but fortunately, my wife is a great listener and genuine source of support...I am so grateful to her.
I love these videos. It always helps me to step back and re-evaluate the things I do and say others. I can say that after watching these, I have changed as a person, but I still have more evolving to do. Thank you for making these videos!
I’ve definitely given people the silent treatment. When I do it it’s not from being malicious or spiteful, I’ve literally just reached a point where I can’t talk anymore. I just can’t. I can’t answer your questions, I don’t have a reason for crying, I feel 100% broken and I’ve got no words left in me.
I think these videos are very helpful. It helps validate our own emotions if we hear those things from others but on the flip side it also helps us to do some introspection. I just apologized to someone last night cuz I’ve said some of these things and this person and I have been having a hard time.We don’t have all the answers and we don’t always get things right. I believe that life is about learning and growth no matter what age. I’m the type of person that is first to apologize even if it’s not right away. Things like ego and pride are some of the deadliest relationship killers. All the best in your journey of life to anyone reading this.
I did that once, apologized first in a situation where, though both of sides had made mistakes, I still thought and felt honestly the other person had more to apologize for, but hoped that by being the first to apologize it would be easier (and hopefully automatic) for the other person to likewise apologize, and so to clear up the mess. Never happened. They just accepted my apology as if they had done nothing wrong, leaving me feeling all the more irritated with that person for utterly lacking self-awareness.
I really love how you explain how harmful these things can be without blaming the person. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, that maybe they just don't know how hurtful these things are, and that you are just trying to help improve their relationships. Thank you.
I scored 6 out of 8,, as much as some of these videos make me feel uncomfortable with myself (when I reflect upon how I responded to the negative times in my life,relationships,etc.), I do believe they help with my own emotional restoration. All I can say is I wish I would’ve watched psych2go’s content before I started dating, esp with CNM relationships.. but aye, I’m happy to watch ‘em now. Thank you for doing all that you do.
Just watched and realised my pattern: silent treatment. I applied your suggestion and my wife could immediately relate and connect. Stunning! Thanks for sharing ❤️
Like arsenic, toxic people will slowly kill you. They kill your positive spirit and play with your mind and emotions. The only cure is to let them go. There are two major reasons why you should avoid toxic people: health and happiness. Toxic people create toxic environments, and being surrounded by toxicity can cause you more harm than you might imagine.
I watch these videos not just for my mental health, I don't wanna hurt others too. Yes ik it's a circulation the love the hate the care the shade everything. This video makes u realize ur mistakes and the mistakes of the ones in ur life that u care about. Healthy communication is very very important to get thru these toxicity.
The worst part is, sometimes, saying "calm down" is not from any desire to hurt, but is because the person you are saying it to is reacting from pure emotion. I have had people say it to me to snap me out of that state(whether anger, joy, or any other overwhelming emotion).
@@Psych2go I love the other animations as well! but so far, this is my fave, hehe ☺️ Thank you for making these videos!! you don't know how much it helps us! I get to learn new things, and get to apply them too! Thank you so much for all the work that you do! (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)
silent treatment is not a joke, really. i'm struggling to get through a huge depression along with two toxic relationships. it was crazy that how i thought i'm not a person that can easily be depressed but then i eventually find myself sitting here with it :) it was the silent treatment from the second relationship that driven me to this state, it completely hit me like a truck. i'm now having something you can call it therapy, i havent get over it now but i believe somehow i could. thanks for your videos, i always go back to this channel when anxiety hits me grrrrrrrrr. have a good day!
I want everybody to remeber, that some of these phrases can be good, explaining or most important: a way to set bounderies. BUT the moment its used to hurt or provoke someone or make them feel guilt - then it is toxic and not okay. We gotta remember that we are all born with the same amount of worth and that we all need love and understanding. It has to go both ways
the drawings are so cute!! especially the colors picked and facial expressions…. THEY ARE SO FREAKING ADORABLE!! I hate to admit it but after watching, I realize I’ve done a lot of these topics that were covered within the video… but I think this video helped me to grow as a better person now on!
The most toxic sentence : - I don't give a f** k! Or - I don't care! . . . . . . However I want to emphasise that showing compassion, understanding and emphaty isn't always the best option, because, depending on context, it can enforce negative perceptions, thoughts or feelings and make it harder for those affected to overcome them. Sometimes offering an alternative way of understanding the situation can lead the way out of viscous circles of own negative thoughts and feelings. It's a thin line to walk though...
I love having deep talks with friends. Especially with my best friend. When she says something that's very difficult for her to talk about or something that's bothering her deeply, I thank her for opening up to me. I tend to not know what to say in such situations, so I just say „thank you, for telling me“.
That’s why I don’t talk to people and prefer to stay at home. And if I don’t stay at home, then I just try to ignore everyone and everything around me, so I feel like I am the only person there. I mostly talk to people I already now.
"Calm down" is the worst thing to tell anyone in a heightened state of emotion. I have anger issues and "you need to calm down" literally sets me off the deepest end. Had that happen once, then a friend who knows me defused it quick by just asking "What happened?" They confirmed I was angry over something, even got me to talk about it. I was furious cause of the crap "calm down" my boss tried to pretend should work. I was truly angry cause of family troubles. That was a whole dam of emotions I got to say out loud. This was six years ago, and it helped me realize my anger issues are because I have a hard time opening up and just saying what's truly my problem.
I have to disagree with, "I'm done." I disowned my brothers this weekend after years of mental and emotional abuse. I've been in therapy for years. They shut me down, gaslight and manipulate me. I have been planning to cut off all ties when my Mother passes away, quietly, without a fuss. This weekend it came to a head, though, after listening to a barrage of disrespectful insults and denial of any wrongdoing on their part. I not only told him I'm done, I told him he's dead to me. It's the only way I can go on peacefully with my life
I think they meant using "I'm done" as a threat or using the relationship as leverage against someone rather than expressing that you're leaving the toxic situation that you're in. Also kudos to you for having the maturity to just silently cut ties and move on as I know it's not something most people would do.
Good for You ! Your happiness matters more than anything ! It’s always the ones closest to Us that hurt us the most ! Family can be so toxic ! GOD Bless You 🙏💕
@@Slow-zm5wv oh, honey, I had INTENDED to leave quietly. However, I've felt hurt so badly with years of being gaslighted and blamed, without ANY recognition of my boundaries, I blew up and told him to f-off before I issued my, not ultimatum, but truth. The next and last time I will see them is at my Mom's funeral.
there's nothing wrong with saying "I'm done" if you are really and act on it. My ex constantly used that, leading me to full-on panic and thinking we had broken up when she actually didn't mean it. I told her over and over how awful it makes me feel, especially since I've abandon issue and sadly she kept on.
I never knew some of these things were toxic…. Thank you so much for this informational video!!! You probably just saved many of my good friendships and relationships.
Be so aware of what you are saying. May be you don't mean to hurt them but just imagine them always getting hurt more because of many people doing the same as you That will make them feel insecure about themselves, their emotions and their thoughts even though their brain knows there's nothing to be insecure. Your little statement can make someone who always tries to escape from people to prevent getting hurt and doesn't know how to act with people as they've become insecure of what they are. So please be very careful of what you are saying. Be soft, patient, reachable and warm. Give them lot of love when they need you by their side. Every single soul deserves to be happy❤thank you phych2go for the content
The only thing that me and my girlfriend will never say again to eachother is “you’re just like (insert relative)” with a negative connotation, I had shitty parents who would’ve rather drop me off at my grandparents and go party/do drugs/get plastered every night instead of raising me or spending time with me, and ditto for her as well, that phrase hurts so deep when you’ve had toxic parenting before
8/6 things my mom said to me during breakfast today: - Mom, I've been having hallucinations since last month, I think I should go to a therapist. I keep seeing faces floating in the air and strange people around the house. It's really scarry. - Oh my god, you're so sensitive! Just like your father! It will go away, just ignore it. It's not a big deal. Like, are you crazy or something? Ugh, you're always complaining! (I'm not, but I have a lot of health problems) I'm sure it's not that bad!
That was not very nice of your mother.. she should be more supportive to you than say that! Im sorry you are going through hard times, it will be okay! ❤️ (if any of that hurt you im sorry and PLEASE tell me)
@@ramune3389 i know, its still not right to say things like that. You have all permission to still love them as well! You are welcome, i love being able to help others when i can! ❤️
I don't do any of these things, mostly since I've experienced how hurtful it is when someone does it to you. If someone is saying something that is hurtful to me, I know not to say the same things to another person because they will then be put in the same position as I was in before. I don't want anyone to feel the way that I felt when I was treated badly. They don't deserve the pain! Plus, I don't want to drive anyone away, nor hurt anyone unintentionally, so I stay careful with my words and pay special attention to how they are conveyed.
I've found the fourth one to be the most common amongst my family and people I know and I've gotta say it can really hurt because it feels like you shouldn't be feeling the things that your feeling. I've not learned how to handle this completely but I've gotten better with it and now if anyone feels ashamed about the way they feel about something or someone I try my hardest to reassure them that they have every right to their feelings and that it's not anyone elses buisness so it doesn't matter if they disagree. I've always been told that the many things I've liked or enjoyed are weird and invalidate my opinions. I enjoy old music or otherwise unconventional music causing other people to put me down for what I enjoy. There are also many activities and games I consider fun that many others at my school don't leading to the same things. I recognize that I'm insecure about what I enjoy now and have trouble opening up about new hobbies and interests I have. I don't want anyone else to go through this which is why I'm making this video request. If my video request helped even one person it would mean a lot to me and I can't imagine being the only person going through this right now. If anyone made it this far I'd like to thank you for hearing me out. I'm not even out of highschool so I could be missing something but I just wanted to bring the topic up just in case it was a possible video topic that hadn't been brought up yet.
@@ashlynripikoi5826 I'm not shy, in fact I'm a very extroverted and open person. I've never had issues saying my opinion or having a nice conversation. I've just become less open about interests specifically because I've been told that the things I like are wrong to like such as school, genres of music, certain video games, bored games, and many other things. Also I was homeschooled but ended up back in public school so it's kind of a reverse situation
0:38 wow ok right off the bat lol. i remember getting bullied senseless all throughout the 3rd grade when i was the new kid (and honestly all of middle school, but it got less severe once we moved a second time). and the one time i came to my mother crying about it, wanting to change schools, she told me exactly this. Said i've always been such a sensitive person. i was taking everything too much to heart, and that kids joke around all the time. and it's not that difficult to ignore them. and everyday after that convo, she'd see my tears, and ask what's wrong, just for it to lead into the same "well, they're only joking, try and lighten up." response. sometimes she'd even laugh herself when i insisted that they weren't just jokes, and that i was actually being made fun of and dreading going to school everyday. so eventually i just started saying "nothing, im fine." to everything she asked, cuz i knew she didn't really care anyway. now i just can't open up to anyone as easily, out of fear all my problems will be downplayed and pushed aside, or even laughed at. it's like, when you invalidate your kids, they feel like the ultimate trust is gone, it's like, who can you trust? this vid just unleashed a lot of repressed memories, but i think it's important i watched it. now i feel a little less crazy.
Any relationship that makes you feel worse about yourself, rather than better, is toxic! When you are left feeling unloved, drained and have been attacked in any way, is a sure sign that you're in a toxic relationship. No one is worth staying in a relationship that causes you constant pain and heartache.💔 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
I think the best thing to say when someone opens up to you is always something along the lines of, “I love you, and I don’t want you do feel that way.” This gives you a chance to consider what they’re saying more, while not waiting too long to reply, which hurts the other person too.
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes" is in itself an absolute : ) on a different note... I tend to go to "Time heals all wounds" at times... any other suggestions to replace this one?
This video (as many in this channel) is so helpful. I was aware that silent treatment is not a good way forward, but sometimes you need sometime to cool down. However, it's so important to acknowledge it to your partner. Thanks a lot for making this information accessible. May all videos on TH-cam be like this channel. Lots of love xox
I don't think that "You're too much sensitive" is always toxic. I know a person who ALWAYS cry, and just admitted that sometimes is for manipulative reasons, it can be literally for EVERYTHING, I don't have patience for it, sorry.
Personally, I think that instead of "You're too sensitive." It might be better to say, "I'm sorry I don't have the energy to talk right now" It's important to set boundaries
Sometimes saying to someone you love to calm down make it easier to communicate. For some, people shout and furious when they communicate and saying to calm down will help to calm their mind and talk in their right mind.
When I first heard the “I am done” one I was like “Those times when I was done with my homework and telling my friends “I’m done” doesn’t seem to have a problem with that”
I thought me and my husband had a good dialogue on this type of thing anyway going into the video, but two of the eight are things we have said to each other before, we always apologise and talk it through, but after watching this and it highlighting it to me, I’m grateful that I can now try and do better and hopefully eradicate these statements entirely from our marriage. Thanks to the people that put this video together :)
Actually, saying "I'm done" when used in the context of being catfished by a fake person online can actually be a good thing, because it frees the other person from manipulative con artists who can be reported and blocked forever.
For sure! It depends on who you're dealing with too. Against toxic people, sometimes, we don't have to be as mindful about our words. We just simply leave if we have to.
I think dealing with online catfish is outside the scope of the stuff on this list, which was meant for how we communicate with people we actually have *real relationships with.* Abusers and con artists need to be completely cut off and pushed away from us for our own safety, not reasoned with.
My fault is not expressing negative emotions at all. The suggestions presented here are much healthier than the knee-jerk reactions I have employed my entire life.
I do try my hardest to not be a toxic person, and it can be hard at times because I get irritated easy. Unfortunately, I've been told "You always..." a lot. I didn't know it could do so much to a person until I watched this. I knew something was always off about that phrase. Thank you! And your videos are awsome!
Needed this video, i think that the reason why I’ve done almost all of those toxic behaviors, are because instead of thinking for the good of the relationship, I’ve reacted to isolate myself from the problems/discussions
There is a balance for everything. Someone who is too logical, and completely dismisses emotion, is toxic. On the other hand, someone who always gives into their emotions in the name of "processing them" is also toxic.
I feel like I understand where it went wrong honestly I would get cornered and have a breakdown and start crying and saying things like you never or you always but I was really trying to say that I needed support and comfort but at the time I didn't know what I needed or what was wrong but they were also wrong cuz they called me crazy, told me I'd get over it, they called me sensitive, and I felt so hurt, confused, and lost I just reacted to what they said and said things like you always or you never but I never meant to hurt anyone or say hurtful things but they always blamed me for the problems when I just needed help and it became so suffocating and no one understood They always judged me so from fear of getting hurt I pushed back cuz that's all I could do at the time Oh yea in case anyone was wondering I'm talking about my family
I never say any of these. That's a relief! I'm constantly thinking I'm a bad person but I've been learning lately that I'm not a bad person at all. In fact, I'm thinking I may actually be a pretty good person
If Your around toxic people or Narcissistic Sociopaths they will make You feel like a horrible person ! Do some research on this subject ! It will really open your eyes to a lot ! It did Me ! All My life I felt a lot of bad things about myself never knowing why , and then I realized My Mom is a Narcissist Sociopath and She was projecting all Her Guilt , shame , low self esteem and low confidence onto Me ! Once I realized it was always Her and never me all those feelings immediately left ! Look into . It’s a game changer ! Good luck 🍀 And GOD Bless 🙏💕
When the term "i am done".. there can a different context into the situation you are in.... When you keep giving people 7th, 8th, 9th,etc chances... You are exhausted and feel that term 'i am done' is suitable into that conversation... Love your channel.
I really appreciate this! Not only does it allow me to see what I may have been unaware of previously in my last relationship at the time, but it also validates my own growth. Another thing that stands out, is the, "always" statements. I recently have realized that I say it about myself and now catch it. It reinforces establishing a new, more positive self dialogue too. Thank you!! 💗 This one.
A cooling period is only helpful if the person asking for it actually follows through in continuing the conversation, after they have cooled off. Saying they need to cool off and then acting like it never happened, or never giving you a chance to be heard, is very hurtful and can be very manipulating and demeaning. Closure on a topic helps healing if you want to regain trust in the relationship too. :)
To add on to number 6, something I've experienced a whole lot and felt like it was toxic but couldn't put my finger on it until now, is when people say to me "you're overthinking things" or "you're just being paranoid like usual"... This makes me feel like I'm not able to actually read a room or it makes me feel like my feelings are never valid when I get upset about something. My family does it me all of the time, especially when they don't feel like listening to me and just want me to shut up for a second. If anyone questions how people feel around you, just know that your feelings are valid and it's ok to be concerned. You're beautiful and loved
they are right, in a sense. u ARE over thinking things, in comparison to the amount of thinking the other people do. ignorance is bliss, and they seem to be very happy. u are not wrong, tho. they more or less decided to go along to get along, and u would rather be accurate.
The absolutes are often feeling-based words aka not describing things accurately as they are, but how they feel. "You never take out the trash" = I'm feeling like I do most of the housework and something as simple as one easy chore is too much to ask of you. This is ridiculous. vs "Hey, I noticed you don't take the trash out after I've asked, what's going on?" leaves communication open and inviting
"It's not that bad, it's in your head" - what if I'm in a relationship with someone sometimes incapable of judging intentions, with a mental disorder? Doesn't it help to ground their obsessive thoughts (of course with empathy)?
Hi, fellow person with high anxiety here like your partner. It doesn't help, it feels like we aren't being taken seriously. Even if we know that the mental gymnastics we pull on ourselves are nonsensical and that we're overthinking, it still feels real and we can't stop from feeling like it's true after all. Because we make connections that aren't there. Instead of saying something like "it's all in your head", try asking "Well, why do you think that?" instead. You don't have to enable them, but go through their line of thinking and understand where they're coming from. "Why do you think this person has X intentions?" and "I personally thought they intended it as Y" can be helpful, rather than dismiss them entirely you get them to think about WHY they think the way they do, rather than getting caught up in the intense emotions those thoughts give while also giving your perspective, which could help rationalize their thinking more. I can't speak on the OCD aspects as I don't have it, but if it's relating to their OCD and not their anxiety that's out of your jurisdiction. If their OCD is really bad they need therapy if they have the resources and ability to get it as you aren't equipped to handle it.
I think many in this list depend on situation, the way they are said, motivation etc. And it makes huge difference. Not everything is so black and white. But you have have empathy and you care, so I believe you mean the best. But for people with these issues it can sound harsh and it may not help. Best thing would him/ her getting therapy.
What's the most toxic thing you had said to someone before? Confession time.
hey! thank you for this video it really helped, do you mind making one about how to get over friendships? love your content, have a great day/night!
@Psych2Go I had a situashion ocurr multipul times were i tried to explain to someone how i felt about a specific thing they did repeatedly... One time i said "please stop, I need some time by myself" thoes were our set of "safe" words for when things got to heated... Sadly they would always push me and then say something that would force me to respond back to them again instead of letting me leave so I could calm down. After the heated argument and calming down i would go back and try to explain to them that i didnt like what they did. "Hey, can we talk? I dont like something that you did and would like to speek about it and why i dont like it" this person was the type to constantly repeat the same thing over and over and over without a break or any changes inbetween so it was like how a friend or sibling would consistently make the same noise or do something very irritateing .. But the difference was that they didnt stop repeating and it would go on for days, it would even start up again after a few months if brought up again and they would use it as an excuse of some sort weather it was valid or not. After thoes conversashions i would tell them "I feel like your not listening to me because you keep repeating" then they would apoliguize and say "but" sutch and sutch which was them repeating again dispite just being told about it and how it made me feel. Once i realized they wouldent stop i would be furious again and say "Whatever, forget it... Im tierd of hearing you repeat yourself constantly." And dropped the onesided conversashion. We would go for a day or two without talking and then go back to normal. Could you make a video on this or tell me how to deal with this situashion for future reference?
"you'll never see me again!" ... and went back to his house 🤣
I ignored them...
Told my girlfriend, in a very underhanded and uncalled for way, that she was terrible at communicating. I let her know that I made it there safe, without saying when or where I came from or where I made it to. She was worried and confused, and asked where I was. I snarkily responded, “If you wouldve responded sooner, maybe you would know.”
Remember: not everytime they're being a manipulator. Sometimes people are too stressed to care about someone elses problem and just want to left alone
^^^^this
I spend two years straight being a therapist for my online friends, worst decision ever.
@@adobepastryssss8132 same, literally gave me depression while trying too keep 5-7 people from offering themselves every single day
@@adobepastryssss8132 us. I'm going to therapy myself now and I've been told to put myself before others. Being a therapist for everyone isn't good for yourself. I'm glad I understood in time.
This is so true the real work comes from finding which relationships are genuine and which ones aren’t
Thanks for communicating that.
Hope that people can communicate that too
*8 toxic things people say to each other (without realizing)*
0:39 - “You’re too sensitive“, or “calm down”
1:22 - “Just forget it”, or “whatever”
1:52 - “I am done”
2:32 - “I am sure it’s not that bad”, or “you’ll get over it”
3:23 “You’re just like your [insert relative here]”
4:05 - “You’re crazy“
4:56 - Not saying anything, or giving the silent treatment
5:39 - “You never…” or “You always…”
Big hug to anyone reading ❤️🚀🌙
Editing as you watch. Smart.
@@_Diggler unfortunately that is a very clear example of toxicity: making the other person feel at fault for their shortcomings, plus emotional manipulation (“I am done”). I know for a fact, it is very hard to endure such type of relationships, so (of course) don’t blame it on yourself.
I hope you’re ok now ❤️
thank u
hug back
The first and fifth is what I hear literally everytime, I'm just tired of this shit
Thank you... 😊
A big hug to you as well...!!
I do 6 out of 8 of these things, a big one for me is saying “you always / you never” .. I kinda cried half way through this video cause it made me realize how toxic of a person I can be sometimes. but these videos help us learn! Thumbs up!
We are all toxic sometimes. What's important is trying to do better, because really that's all we can do.
You are not the only one! If you are really human you make this mistakes.. You can't always be perfect and talk nicely to someone. You should be self conscious of every single word that comes out of your mouth. Think first and then speak, but it is not easy when the situation doesn't help. You try your best not to hurt someone's feelings in different ways
i always watch these not only for myself but so i don't ever hurt anyone else that bad again.
edit: thank you for trying to have some understanding
For sure! But because we are human sometimes we say hurtful things. How do you plan to practice not saying those hurtful things?
Samee
Same bestie
Same, although I can’t always help myself. I live in a family where these types of comments are quite common, so not saying them in response is hard.
Same and i realized that i have done a lot of mistakes from these videos. I will try to change and be abetter person
Literally had a fight with my partner an hour ago. This was much needed. My problem is keeping things internally and not communicating with my partner. Silent treatment is my go to. I needed this video so much! Thank you! I just have to express what I need.
No worries! Sometimes, we just need some time to calm down, and it's harder said than done. Glad this video could be helpful at the right time!
same here. being vulnerable is so scary to me
What if i try communicating and it backfires of making me feel more empty and guilty. It took a lot to reach out and it is soul crushing to see my loved one (my mom) belittle ans not understand my feelings. 🥲
One month ago, I was messaging one of my best friends about what I was doing this summer and other personal stuff and she hasn’t replied for awhile. Until the next day, she replied to me, and she said some pretty nasty things about me and lied to me a whole lot. It turns out that she’s a fake friend and a toxic person. 😕💔
@@feliciamarilyn well, maybe they are the toxic one?
Absolutely trigged by the words "I'm done". I'd heard it for years when I was with a manipulative person, and would never choose to stick around with someone once they've said that. It just shows they don't value you enough to properly work on the struggles in the relationship and would prefer to bail. That constant feeling of the relationship being on the verge of ending is too painful to tolerate again. I am waiting for as long as necessary to meet someone who can be open minded and communicate effectively with me rather than threaten to throw in the towel every other day.
It seems that my one and I are fighting more than makeing love . I don't think either one of us knows how to have a healthy relationship. Altho their is a significant age difference we didn't let that interfere with our love..
Everytime we would fight or she gets mad she withholds love . No matter how much I try and she tries to communicate , it always ends up with distance and silence.
After we finally make up for a day or too. In thoes moments I feel very close to her and want to open up completely, so I do .
When I am completely honest and feel very vulnerable she gets super angry all over again and is never empathizeing or being understanding.. just another week or two of anger no physical contact. Shot and rude behavior. Then says it's all my fault..what do I do
@@staciedixon3802 it might help to have a neutral mediator or dare I say, maybe couples therapy if both of you are willing. This comment is an excellent ice breaker to show you are both actually trying to work on things. It's sometimes very difficult to communicate between people very abstract feelings. I've been there with over 10 year age difference in past relationship. Sometimes just that can cause misinterpretation. I hope you both can work things out, glad you are trying and watching these helpful videos. 👏🏽🙏🏽
@@staciedixon3802 maybe it’s more than just plain they don’t want to communicate. It sounds kinda like narcissistic tendencies. We all go through them, some people obviously don’t care to make themselves better, but others become aware of their actions and then try to change. It does sound like you may need a couples therapist so that that person can help her see how she’s hurting you and the relationship. If they choose not to from there, You might want to rethink the relationship. It’s sounds like they’re not willing to put in the work and ultimately you’d be the one wasting your time when you’re trying to invest for a long term relationship. If anything I would look into narcissistic relationship and videos on YT just to see if that fits your situation because that manipulation can play with your head and heart heavily. And if they cannot empathize and don’t deal well with your emotions… its sounding like Narcissistic tendencies to me
@@alejandraquintana692 Or maybe they’re just scared of being hurt again so running away feels like the only option. We’ll never know though haha
It's crazy how I was thinking about this today. I told myself I don't ever want to feel scared of losing someone simply because there's an argument. So I am going to wait for the right partner no matter how long it is and if I never find him, I at least don't have to live a life full of rollercoasters.
The most toxic thing to say to your girlfriend when she is angry is “my ex wasn’t like this” say that and your life ends instantly…
Instructions unclear. Belongings in front lawn.
Well then I would send him right back to his ex, lucky if he doesn't go on a gold platter with an apple in his mouth and a side of mint jelly.
When someone tries to open up to me I just get confused with what to say.
Same....
SAME
Sounds like you won't have to worry about saying hurtful things!
Watch less anime and socialize more
@@Phobicsleaguechannel333 good advice
No matter how hard you try to be self aware I feel like we’ve all said one of these at least once or twice but being self aware and trying to think about the others emotions a bit more can help combat some of these bad habits 🙏🏽
I hate “It’s not that deep” 🤬 Well, it means something to me. It’s very dismissive
True true
I kept saying that to my friend as a joke and they legit didn’t speak to me for a week like I’m sorry but it’s kinda true
Same. Once.i wanted to know why a fire started in my building and not knly did the FD dismiss my concerns my friend said "it doesn't matter why as long as it's out." Wait what? It doesn't matter why a fire started and my concerns with how it happened???????? Not to mention being dismissed or not believed regarding my own mental health. I don't get why people think this is ok to say to their friends/family or s/o it doesn't matter or it's not that deep unless they are speaking about their own issues and don't want to discuss, not the other person's. concerns.
@@Fenellamcclean Who is anyone to say what matters to someone else and what doesn’t?
That's why I don't talk to folk I don't know. I don't wanna know how your day's going, what happened during one of your IT classes, etc. Do they introduce themselves? Not at all but they'll talk that s*** saying "mm.. he thinks he's better than the rest of us" when I keep to myself. All this BS is avoided when earbuds are allowed in the workplace
Two phrases I absolutely hate are “It is what it is” and “ This too shall pass.” It sounds like the person could just care less and doesn’t want to hear about it. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and then they say something like this. It makes me feel trivial.
You are right but mate I’m gonna tell you something
Stuff like this, toxicity in friendships and relationships amongst other things, it’s already been bad, it’s been bad since the dawn of man, since Jesus was on the cross, since the founding of America so it is indeed what it is
Basically all these bad things in the world, it’s already been bad since the start of man and it isn’t that we don’t care less we say it is what it is because it’s been this way from the dawn of man so we just gotta get used to it
The truth is anyone is gonna hate you or not care about you or your well-being so you just gotta get ready prepared and used to it son
Ok bye
@@Antonio-fj5gs I think I stead of getting used to other people being toxic, other people should realize they’re toxic and get used to the idea of changing their behavior.
Instead of forcing others to just deal with it, they should work on their flaws so we can all suffer a lot less…
Causing others to suffer, because you suffered doesn’t help anyone.
@@HappilyAnonymousGirl yes but as I said we are trying to fix the world but it’s been bad and sometimes what we do doesn’t always work
That was I meant
@@Antonio-fj5gs That’s true. I misunderstood what you were saying a bit, so thanks for clarifying.
@@HappilyAnonymousGirl yea your welcome
До свидания
"Feelings aren't Facts." It completely dismisses their feelings.
My response: No feelings aren't facts. They are felt and felt strongly in the moment and need to be acknowledged. Feelings are valid. They will change over time, but that doesn't make them any less valid in the moment.
I think people use the silent treatment because after expressing concerns again and again and being ignored you’ve learned…nothing is going to change so just keep it to yourself
I think it's important to communicate after no change has been seen the first time around, with a plan of action on how they could address the problem. Sometimes, people don't know how to change, and a compromise of what can be done could work.
Silent treatment is my biggest problem after an argument. No wonder why people lost interest in me after a while. I would probably lose interest too.
yep that's a struggle. I think the way to improve there is to say things earlier, when it won't necessarily create an argument. Many little things that annoy you can create an argument, but if it's only one and you express it with good manners, it probably won't be an argument. But I know that's precisely the hard part. Also, silent treatment can be necessary/benefitial in some cases, but it's hard to judge when.
Sometimes no response is a response, especially to a manipulative toxic person.
I didn't know at the time that being called crazy, in a non playful way, was disrespectful until I met my spouse and they said "you are not crazy and I'll never think you are" and since then I felt comfortable to be me without judgment. But I use to always lable myself as "crazy" and it hurt because other people close to me use to label me that maybe because I wasn't like everyone else in the family IDK but I'm glad my view about myself changed
0:00 Intro
0:38 1、 “You’re too sensitive“, or “calm down”
1:21 2、 “Just forget it”, or “whatever”
1:51 3、 “I am done”
2:31 4、 “I am sure it’s not that bad”, or “you’ll get over it”
3:21 5、 “You’re just like your [insert relative here]”
4:04 6、 “You’re crazy“
4:56 7、 “Not saying anything, or giving the silent treatment“
5:37 8、 “You never…” or “You always…”
6:51 Outro
Thanks for putting this together and keep up the good work with your channel!
@@Psych2go Could you help me to find why I only get so few view 😂
Correct me because I might be wrong but I believe youtube is not as accessible in China which is where many people who speak exclusively mandarin come from.
@@Slow-zm5wv I dont think so，there are so many mandarin channels have so many many subscribers，such as “Mr & Mrs Gao”，“小高姐的 Magic Ingredients”，“Ak‘s Tech Studio”，“小Lin说”......and so so on😂
@@psych2gomandarin thank you for letting me know, I usually don't follow those channels because I don't speak the language but hopefully your channel starts growing soon because your goal of spreading mental health content is an admirable one. After all this kind of content should be more widely spread and normalized in my opinion.
I opened the video to go through time stamp but then I saw it was 12 sec ago...💀
So here it is
0:41 you are too sensitive/calm down
1:25 just forget it/whatever
1:52 i am done
2:32 i am sure it's not that bad/ you'll get over it
3:26 you are just like your( )
4:05 you're crazy
4:58 not saying anything or giving silent treatment
5:40 you never/you always
"You'll get over it" is something I constantly heard from my parents. If there was something I didn't enjoy doing or didn't want go do, or somewhere I didn't want to go, they'd force me to go anyway and then get on me if I acted upset. Essentially forcing me to "get over it". Even if I never really felt right at the end.
"You get over it" feels almost like the last hammer in someone's last pride. It can destroy the person that is not used to hear those mean things.
“I’m done” is absolutely an appropriate response to someone repeatedly disrespecting your boundaries after trying many times to establish them. Abusers capitalize on empathetic, reserved approaches to conflict resolution so putting up a wall is often necessary to protect yourself.
I love these videos.
I noticed in a lot of people, they tend to "project their annoyances'". If they get frustrated at another person's trait, chances are, it's a trait they subconsciously posess but don't like about themselves.
I used to know a person who was constantly interrupting me and it made me want to explode. Then I realise I interrupted people; often.
Similarly, how a cheating partner will accuse their partner of cheating on them.
The human psyche is a crazy, ironic thing.
Whats really frustrating is that you almost never notice until AFTER.
Indeed. When people say or do something to you, it's sometimes just about them.
@@Akemaste I think it's always good to know how others treat you is sometimes a projection of them, and not you.
@@Psych2go I think it's most times about them, not just some. Sadly that's the society we're living in.
I think the one I'm most guilty of out of these is the silent treatment. Most of the time, I'll get overwhelmed and have to process the things being said for a bit before I can actually say something of importance and help, and sometimes I have mini freak-outs in my head because I get so indecisive and confused on what to say next.
I feel you…. 🥺
I think the important thing you can do to mitigate that is to explain that you need some time to mull things over but that you’re not mad.
@@ruiqi22 that's a really good idea in theory, but whenever I'm in that state I can't think about anything except what's in my head and it warps whatever the situation I'm in at the time.
Clearly communicate that exact behavior then your partner should be able to recognize when you’re overwhelmed… or at least understand. Don’t beat yourself up for it
The silent treatment (or “grey rock”) is an effective way to respond to a narcissist who is trying to control/manipulate you, though.
But that could also be what they ea. So be careful around them. They are dangerous.
Unfortunately i discovered that i am really bad at communicating especially when my emotions are involved, i noticed that whenever i try to communicate; i end up just adding fuel the fire and making it worse. I also found myself either protecting myself in order to not get hurt by somehow being toxic (like some of the ways mentioned in the video) or being completely tolerant and accept whatever is thrown at me in order to do not lose the person that i care about. Thank you for providing such a video and please do not hesitate to post more about these topics because a lot of beautiful things are getting ruined because of miscommunication
Whole lotta of I relate over here.
I actually used to have such a bad friend like this. They’re still my “friend” ig but very negative. Every time I would tell them something or vent about a person, a thing or anything they would say the phrases : “Oh well what could you do?” “Well thats *blank* for you.” Then they would proceed to tell me how they had such a fun time with the person that just upset me. I used to think “oh im over reacting im just not normal and weird.” No that’s not true. I also suggest with friendship don’t talk about someone your friend hates unless they wanna know about it (mostly if something bad happened for me personally 🍵).
one that has been told to be is "why should I care" that really hurts especially over and over again
This is an incredible video because there’s been a lot of things that make people scared and distant to emotional communication and even look down on it but this just reminds you that doing that is sometimes the best option if your not dealing with someone who’s I’ll take advantage of the venerability of course. Also loving the animation style in this one great job all around
Thank you! Glad you enjoy this animation!
Couldn’t have said it better! We can all be a little more self aware
"Just forget it"
"You'll get over it"
Both of these are what my mom said when I told her what trauma I went through when I was 19. I can't forget or get over it...
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for!
For sure! A grateful attitude will bring abundance.
"It's all in your head." a professional and personal friend refused to facilitate an apology (he was put in the role of contact between clients) and kept saying It's all in your head. You guys nailed it with this video by citing those who refuse to acknowledge another's feelings, diminishing them to the ground, and walking away. It's not kind, responsible or even close to being understanding. Thank you for this particuarly useful video because so many of us raised by critical parents got used to being minimized and will accept it as adults, while it tears us up inside. Bless you for all the trainings and insights, plus validation that NO,, It's not all in my head, just because XYZ says it is
I'm not the most understanding and/or empathetic person, I'm more so the opposite. I have problems with anger and have trouble sorting out my own emotions. These videos always help me help myself and others, so thank you Psych2Go 💙
same
I always grew up in a toxic environment with family and new I carried some traits I stopped with a lot and know I have even more to learn and grow from. Especially living in an angry/abusive environment every day is what I grew used to I never realized those little things can be toxic. Now I’m aware not to say that to my partner in a fight and will continue to try to get better. I’m only getting better little by little and don’t want to be like them and don’t want to use them as an excuse for my behavior I’m aware I have some traits even though it gets hard to accept but I know I don’t wanna be like them so I promise myself to keep trying and to change for the better 😊
Great video! I liked how they not only included common phrases of toxic people but also explained WHY the statements or their implications were toxic. Also, sadly relatable.
"Your too sensitive," is something my brother says to me ALOT...but fortunately, my wife is a great listener and genuine source of support...I am so grateful to her.
I love these videos. It always helps me to step back and re-evaluate the things I do and say others. I can say that after watching these, I have changed as a person, but I still have more evolving to do. Thank you for making these videos!
I’ve definitely given people the silent treatment. When I do it it’s not from being malicious or spiteful, I’ve literally just reached a point where I can’t talk anymore. I just can’t. I can’t answer your questions, I don’t have a reason for crying, I feel 100% broken and I’ve got no words left in me.
I think these videos are very helpful. It helps validate our own emotions if we hear those things from others but on the flip side it also helps us to do some introspection. I just apologized to someone last night cuz I’ve said some of these things and this person and I have been having a hard time.We don’t have all the answers and we don’t always get things right. I believe that life is about learning and growth no matter what age. I’m the type of person that is first to apologize even if it’s not right away. Things like ego and pride are some of the deadliest relationship killers. All the best in your journey of life to anyone reading this.
I did that once, apologized first in a situation where, though both of sides had made mistakes, I still thought and felt honestly the other person had more to apologize for, but hoped that by being the first to apologize it would be easier (and hopefully automatic) for the other person to likewise apologize, and so to clear up the mess. Never happened. They just accepted my apology as if they had done nothing wrong, leaving me feeling all the more irritated with that person for utterly lacking self-awareness.
I really love how you explain how harmful these things can be without blaming the person. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, that maybe they just don't know how hurtful these things are, and that you are just trying to help improve their relationships. Thank you.
I scored 6 out of 8,, as much as some of these videos make me feel uncomfortable with myself (when I reflect upon how I responded to the negative times in my life,relationships,etc.), I do believe they help with my own emotional restoration. All I can say is I wish I would’ve watched psych2go’s content before I started dating, esp with CNM relationships.. but aye, I’m happy to watch ‘em now. Thank you for doing all that you do.
Just watched and realised my pattern: silent treatment. I applied your suggestion and my wife could immediately relate and connect. Stunning! Thanks for sharing ❤️
Like arsenic, toxic people will slowly kill you. They kill your positive spirit and play with your mind and emotions. The only cure is to let them go. There are two major reasons why you should avoid toxic people: health and happiness. Toxic people create toxic environments, and being surrounded by toxicity can cause you more harm than you might imagine.
You are exactly right ! They literally want to destroy Us because We are Happy ! They hate that !
And Yes it can effect Your Health like crazy !
I watch these videos not just for my mental health, I don't wanna hurt others too. Yes ik it's a circulation the love the hate the care the shade everything. This video makes u realize ur mistakes and the mistakes of the ones in ur life that u care about. Healthy communication is very very important to get thru these toxicity.
The worst part is, sometimes, saying "calm down" is not from any desire to hurt, but is because the person you are saying it to is reacting from pure emotion. I have had people say it to me to snap me out of that state(whether anger, joy, or any other overwhelming emotion).
then it needs to be a case by case basis. if im freaking out and someone says "calm down", they're looking to get punched
The little characters are so cute it makes me want to cry😭💗
the art is so cute!! the change is pretty fresh and nicee :D
Glad you like it! How do you feel about the other animations?
@@Psych2go I love the other animations as well! but so far, this is my fave, hehe ☺️ Thank you for making these videos!! you don't know how much it helps us! I get to learn new things, and get to apply them too! Thank you so much for all the work that you do! (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)
silent treatment is not a joke, really. i'm struggling to get through a huge depression along with two toxic relationships. it was crazy that how i thought i'm not a person that can easily be depressed but then i eventually find myself sitting here with it :) it was the silent treatment from the second relationship that driven me to this state, it completely hit me like a truck. i'm now having something you can call it therapy, i havent get over it now but i believe somehow i could. thanks for your videos, i always go back to this channel when anxiety hits me grrrrrrrrr. have a good day!
I want everybody to remeber, that some of these phrases can be good, explaining or most important: a way to set bounderies. BUT the moment its used to hurt or provoke someone or make them feel guilt - then it is toxic and not okay.
We gotta remember that we are all born with the same amount of worth and that we all need love and understanding. It has to go both ways
the drawings are so cute!! especially the colors picked and facial expressions…. THEY ARE SO FREAKING ADORABLE!!
I hate to admit it but after watching, I realize I’ve done a lot of these topics that were covered within the video… but I think this video helped me to grow as a better person now on!
The most toxic sentence :
- I don't give a f** k!
Or
- I don't care!
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.
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However I want to emphasise that showing compassion, understanding and emphaty isn't always the best option, because, depending on context, it can enforce negative perceptions, thoughts or feelings and make it harder for those affected to overcome them.
Sometimes offering an alternative way of understanding the situation can lead the way out of viscous circles of own negative thoughts and feelings.
It's a thin line to walk though...
I love having deep talks with friends. Especially with my best friend. When she says something that's very difficult for her to talk about or something that's bothering her deeply, I thank her for opening up to me. I tend to not know what to say in such situations, so I just say „thank you, for telling me“.
That’s why I don’t talk to people and prefer to stay at home. And if I don’t stay at home, then I just try to ignore everyone and everything around me, so I feel like I am the only person there. I mostly talk to people I already now.
This video shows how important communication is, and how it can prevent a relationship from breaking apart
The animation in this video has improved a lot especially at 5:24
"Calm down" is the worst thing to tell anyone in a heightened state of emotion. I have anger issues and "you need to calm down" literally sets me off the deepest end. Had that happen once, then a friend who knows me defused it quick by just asking "What happened?" They confirmed I was angry over something, even got me to talk about it. I was furious cause of the crap "calm down" my boss tried to pretend should work. I was truly angry cause of family troubles. That was a whole dam of emotions I got to say out loud.
This was six years ago, and it helped me realize my anger issues are because I have a hard time opening up and just saying what's truly my problem.
I have to disagree with, "I'm done." I disowned my brothers this weekend after years of mental and emotional abuse. I've been in therapy for years. They shut me down, gaslight and manipulate me. I have been planning to cut off all ties when my Mother passes away, quietly, without a fuss. This weekend it came to a head, though, after listening to a barrage of disrespectful insults and denial of any wrongdoing on their part. I not only told him I'm done, I told him he's dead to me. It's the only way I can go on peacefully with my life
I think they meant using "I'm done" as a threat or using the relationship as leverage against someone rather than expressing that you're leaving the toxic situation that you're in. Also kudos to you for having the maturity to just silently cut ties and move on as I know it's not something most people would do.
Good for You ! Your happiness matters more than anything ! It’s always the ones closest to Us that hurt us the most ! Family can be so toxic ! GOD Bless You 🙏💕
@@Slow-zm5wv oh, honey, I had INTENDED to leave quietly. However, I've felt hurt so badly with years of being gaslighted and blamed, without ANY recognition of my boundaries, I blew up and told him to f-off before I issued my, not ultimatum, but truth. The next and last time I will see them is at my Mom's funeral.
there's nothing wrong with saying "I'm done" if you are really and act on it. My ex constantly used that, leading me to full-on panic and thinking we had broken up when she actually didn't mean it. I told her over and over how awful it makes me feel, especially since I've abandon issue and sadly she kept on.
@@amyrocks88ss yes, that's triggering and manipulative. Stick to your boundaries. I hope it works out for you!! ❤️❤️
ROSIEEE LAMMM!!!! - BEST ANIMATION ARTIST
This makes it so I can see situations I’ve been in from an outside perspective, thank you, this helps 🙂
I never knew some of these things were toxic….
Thank you so much for this informational video!!! You probably just saved many of my good friendships and relationships.
Hello everyone! Comment below if you watch Stranger things and what you think about it.
It is good!
It’s cool :))
It’s amazing!!! We need Eddie back!!
I love it sm
no
Be so aware of what you are saying. May be you don't mean to hurt them but just imagine them always getting hurt more because of many people doing the same as you That will make them feel insecure about themselves, their emotions and their thoughts even though their brain knows there's nothing to be insecure. Your little statement can make someone who always tries to escape from people to prevent getting hurt and doesn't know how to act with people as they've become insecure of what they are. So please be very careful of what you are saying. Be soft, patient, reachable and warm. Give them lot of love when they need you by their side. Every single soul deserves to be happy❤thank you phych2go for the content
The only thing that me and my girlfriend will never say again to eachother is “you’re just like (insert relative)” with a negative connotation, I had shitty parents who would’ve rather drop me off at my grandparents and go party/do drugs/get plastered every night instead of raising me or spending time with me, and ditto for her as well, that phrase hurts so deep when you’ve had toxic parenting before
First, I love the animation style. It's adorable! Second, your voice is so SOOTHING!
8/6 things my mom said to me during breakfast today:
- Mom, I've been having hallucinations since last month, I think I should go to a therapist. I keep seeing faces floating in the air and strange people around the house. It's really scarry.
- Oh my god, you're so sensitive! Just like your father! It will go away, just ignore it. It's not a big deal. Like, are you crazy or something? Ugh, you're always complaining! (I'm not, but I have a lot of health problems) I'm sure it's not that bad!
That was not very nice of your mother.. she should be more supportive to you than say that! Im sorry you are going through hard times, it will be okay! ❤️ (if any of that hurt you im sorry and PLEASE tell me)
@@CouchPotat_IsGay Well, even though my mom and brother say these things constantly, I love them. Thank you so much for your support, Cadence! :)
@@ramune3389 i know, its still not right to say things like that. You have all permission to still love them as well! You are welcome, i love being able to help others when i can! ❤️
I don't do any of these things, mostly since I've experienced how hurtful it is when someone does it to you. If someone is saying something that is hurtful to me, I know not to say the same things to another person because they will then be put in the same position as I was in before. I don't want anyone to feel the way that I felt when I was treated badly. They don't deserve the pain!
Plus, I don't want to drive anyone away, nor hurt anyone unintentionally, so I stay careful with my words and pay special attention to how they are conveyed.
I've found the fourth one to be the most common amongst my family and people I know and I've gotta say it can really hurt because it feels like you shouldn't be feeling the things that your feeling. I've not learned how to handle this completely but I've gotten better with it and now if anyone feels ashamed about the way they feel about something or someone I try my hardest to reassure them that they have every right to their feelings and that it's not anyone elses buisness so it doesn't matter if they disagree. I've always been told that the many things I've liked or enjoyed are weird and invalidate my opinions. I enjoy old music or otherwise unconventional music causing other people to put me down for what I enjoy. There are also many activities and games I consider fun that many others at my school don't leading to the same things. I recognize that I'm insecure about what I enjoy now and have trouble opening up about new hobbies and interests I have. I don't want anyone else to go through this which is why I'm making this video request. If my video request helped even one person it would mean a lot to me and I can't imagine being the only person going through this right now. If anyone made it this far I'd like to thank you for hearing me out. I'm not even out of highschool so I could be missing something but I just wanted to bring the topic up just in case it was a possible video topic that hadn't been brought up yet.
Thanks 8888 I'm in HS too. Well homeschool but I went to HS.
I'm a shy type, sounds like you are too? 8888 I'm only 14 1/2.
@@ashlynripikoi5826 I'm not shy, in fact I'm a very extroverted and open person. I've never had issues saying my opinion or having a nice conversation. I've just become less open about interests specifically because I've been told that the things I like are wrong to like such as school, genres of music, certain video games, bored games, and many other things. Also I was homeschooled but ended up back in public school so it's kind of a reverse situation
0:38 wow ok right off the bat lol. i remember getting bullied senseless all throughout the 3rd grade when i was the new kid (and honestly all of middle school, but it got less severe once we moved a second time). and the one time i came to my mother crying about it, wanting to change schools, she told me exactly this. Said i've always been such a sensitive person. i was taking everything too much to heart, and that kids joke around all the time. and it's not that difficult to ignore them. and everyday after that convo, she'd see my tears, and ask what's wrong, just for it to lead into the same "well, they're only joking, try and lighten up." response. sometimes she'd even laugh herself when i insisted that they weren't just jokes, and that i was actually being made fun of and dreading going to school everyday. so eventually i just started saying "nothing, im fine." to everything she asked, cuz i knew she didn't really care anyway. now i just can't open up to anyone as easily, out of fear all my problems will be downplayed and pushed aside, or even laughed at. it's like, when you invalidate your kids, they feel like the ultimate trust is gone, it's like, who can you trust? this vid just unleashed a lot of repressed memories, but i think it's important i watched it. now i feel a little less crazy.
Any relationship that makes you feel worse about yourself, rather than better, is toxic! When you are left feeling unloved, drained and have been attacked in any way, is a sure sign that you're in a toxic relationship. No one is worth staying in a relationship that causes you constant pain and heartache.💔
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
I think the best thing to say when someone opens up to you is always something along the lines of, “I love you, and I don’t want you do feel that way.” This gives you a chance to consider what they’re saying more, while not waiting too long to reply, which hurts the other person too.
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes" is in itself an absolute : )
on a different note... I tend to go to "Time heals all wounds" at times... any other suggestions to replace this one?
This video (as many in this channel) is so helpful. I was aware that silent treatment is not a good way forward, but sometimes you need sometime to cool down. However, it's so important to acknowledge it to your partner. Thanks a lot for making this information accessible. May all videos on TH-cam be like this channel. Lots of love xox
I don't think that "You're too much sensitive" is always toxic. I know a person who ALWAYS cry, and just admitted that sometimes is for manipulative reasons, it can be literally for EVERYTHING, I don't have patience for it, sorry.
Personally, I think that instead of "You're too sensitive." It might be better to say, "I'm sorry I don't have the energy to talk right now" It's important to set boundaries
Sometimes saying to someone you love to calm down make it easier to communicate. For some, people shout and furious when they communicate and saying to calm down will help to calm their mind and talk in their right mind.
Those aren't toxic phrases in relationships
Those are toxic phrases in general
When I first heard the “I am done” one I was like
“Those times when I was done with my homework and telling my friends “I’m done” doesn’t seem to have a problem with that”
Love you!!
I thought me and my husband had a good dialogue on this type of thing anyway going into the video, but two of the eight are things we have said to each other before, we always apologise and talk it through, but after watching this and it highlighting it to me, I’m grateful that I can now try and do better and hopefully eradicate these statements entirely from our marriage.
Thanks to the people that put this video together :)
Actually, saying "I'm done" when used in the context of being catfished by a fake person online can actually be a good thing, because it frees the other person from manipulative con artists who can be reported and blocked forever.
For sure! It depends on who you're dealing with too. Against toxic people, sometimes, we don't have to be as mindful about our words. We just simply leave if we have to.
I think dealing with online catfish is outside the scope of the stuff on this list, which was meant for how we communicate with people we actually have *real relationships with.* Abusers and con artists need to be completely cut off and pushed away from us for our own safety, not reasoned with.
My fault is not expressing negative emotions at all. The suggestions presented here are much healthier than the knee-jerk reactions I have employed my entire life.
The hats on the charters’s heads are so cute
Video creativity ..all in all chef's kiss...animator, storyboarding, editor, VA, etc y'all doing a great job ❤️
I haven’t watched stranger things but my brother loves it
What's holding you back?
I do try my hardest to not be a toxic person, and it can be hard at times because I get irritated easy. Unfortunately, I've been told "You always..." a lot. I didn't know it could do so much to a person until I watched this. I knew something was always off about that phrase. Thank you! And your videos are awsome!
ahh the animation is so cute
Needed this video, i think that the reason why I’ve done almost all of those toxic behaviors, are because instead of thinking for the good of the relationship, I’ve reacted to isolate myself from the problems/discussions
“yeeeh thems is fighting words”
There is a balance for everything. Someone who is too logical, and completely dismisses emotion, is toxic.
On the other hand, someone who always gives into their emotions in the name of "processing them" is also toxic.
I feel like I understand where it went wrong honestly I would get cornered and have a breakdown and start crying and saying things like you never or you always but I was really trying to say that I needed support and comfort but at the time I didn't know what I needed or what was wrong but they were also wrong cuz they called me crazy, told me I'd get over it, they called me sensitive, and I felt so hurt, confused, and lost I just reacted to what they said and said things like you always or you never but I never meant to hurt anyone or say hurtful things but they always blamed me for the problems when I just needed help and it became so suffocating and no one understood
They always judged me so from fear of getting hurt I pushed back cuz that's all I could do at the time
Oh yea in case anyone was wondering I'm talking about my family
I never say any of these. That's a relief! I'm constantly thinking I'm a bad person but I've been learning lately that I'm not a bad person at all. In fact, I'm thinking I may actually be a pretty good person
If Your around toxic people or Narcissistic Sociopaths they will make You feel like a horrible person ! Do some research on this subject ! It will really open your eyes to a lot ! It did Me ! All My life I felt a lot of bad things about myself never knowing why , and then I realized My Mom is a Narcissist Sociopath and She was projecting all Her Guilt , shame , low self esteem and low confidence onto Me ! Once I realized it was always Her and never me all those feelings immediately left ! Look into . It’s a game changer ! Good luck 🍀 And GOD Bless 🙏💕
All toxic things you can do: *exists*
My parents: ferb I know what we’re gonna do today!!
When the term "i am done".. there can a different context into the situation you are in.... When you keep giving people 7th, 8th, 9th,etc chances... You are exhausted and feel that term 'i am done' is suitable into that conversation... Love your channel.
Thanks I was wondering if I am toxic or not!
I really appreciate this! Not only does it allow me to see what I may have been unaware of previously in my last relationship at the time, but it also validates my own growth.
Another thing that stands out, is the, "always" statements. I recently have realized that I say it about myself and now catch it. It reinforces establishing a new, more positive self dialogue too. Thank you!!
💗 This one.
Todays animation is so adorable😣 😄i cant stop smiling
Awww. Glad you like it. How do you feel about the more recent videos?
Hey @@Psych2go i think the videos are great , very informative and cute as always, your videos make me more self aware of myself and others 🐧💖😊
A cooling period is only helpful if the person asking for it actually follows through in continuing the conversation, after they have cooled off. Saying they need to cool off and then acting like it never happened, or never giving you a chance to be heard, is very hurtful and can be very manipulating and demeaning. Closure on a topic helps healing if you want to regain trust in the relationship too. :)
Lol my ex always told me to just “get over it” whenever I brought up my sexual abuse and why I didn’t want to do the dirty with him
To add on to number 6, something I've experienced a whole lot and felt like it was toxic but couldn't put my finger on it until now, is when people say to me "you're overthinking things" or "you're just being paranoid like usual"... This makes me feel like I'm not able to actually read a room or it makes me feel like my feelings are never valid when I get upset about something. My family does it me all of the time, especially when they don't feel like listening to me and just want me to shut up for a second.
If anyone questions how people feel around you, just know that your feelings are valid and it's ok to be concerned. You're beautiful and loved
they are right, in a sense. u ARE over thinking things, in comparison to the amount of thinking the other people do. ignorance is bliss, and they seem to be very happy. u are not wrong, tho. they more or less decided to go along to get along, and u would rather be accurate.
Please also do a video on how to digest criticism?
What-
@@Squidward589 I meant how to ignore... Without expressing any reaction...😒
Mental torture...
@@mnr8854 if you’re being bullied just bring a knife. Don’t even have to use it, just show them you’re not playing around
@@Squidward589 🤗💯 BTW 👌 not bad...
The absolutes are often feeling-based words aka not describing things accurately as they are, but how they feel.
"You never take out the trash" = I'm feeling like I do most of the housework and something as simple as one easy chore is too much to ask of you. This is ridiculous.
vs
"Hey, I noticed you don't take the trash out after I've asked, what's going on?" leaves communication open and inviting
"It's not that bad, it's in your head" - what if I'm in a relationship with someone sometimes incapable of judging intentions, with a mental disorder? Doesn't it help to ground their obsessive thoughts (of course with empathy)?
This is a legitimate question btw, my partner has OCD and anxiety.
Hi, fellow person with high anxiety here like your partner. It doesn't help, it feels like we aren't being taken seriously. Even if we know that the mental gymnastics we pull on ourselves are nonsensical and that we're overthinking, it still feels real and we can't stop from feeling like it's true after all. Because we make connections that aren't there. Instead of saying something like "it's all in your head", try asking "Well, why do you think that?" instead. You don't have to enable them, but go through their line of thinking and understand where they're coming from. "Why do you think this person has X intentions?" and "I personally thought they intended it as Y" can be helpful, rather than dismiss them entirely you get them to think about WHY they think the way they do, rather than getting caught up in the intense emotions those thoughts give while also giving your perspective, which could help rationalize their thinking more.
I can't speak on the OCD aspects as I don't have it, but if it's relating to their OCD and not their anxiety that's out of your jurisdiction. If their OCD is really bad they need therapy if they have the resources and ability to get it as you aren't equipped to handle it.
@@xobunnyfangsxo thank you for long response 💕
I think many in this list depend on situation, the way they are said, motivation etc. And it makes huge difference. Not everything is so black and white. But you have have empathy and you care, so I believe you mean the best. But for people with these issues it can sound harsh and it may not help. Best thing would him/ her getting therapy.