Please listen to Andrew’s wise words. Don’t get sucked back in. Stay no contact, stay far away. Don’t fall for any of the tricks and manipulations to Hoover you back into their orbit. The time spent catering to a narcissistic abuser is time you can never get back. I fell into my narc relationship when I was 16, had a moment of clarity when I was 19 and left him, and long story short, I was sucked back in a few months later for what would turn out to be 22 more years of Hell, which would have been longer had he not passed away after a sudden illness. I sacrificed my youth, my dignity, my mental health, and so much more for that manchild, and over 8 years later I’ve come a long way in my healing but that part of my journey isn’t over yet. I’m still dealing with the fallout. I hope my comment helps at least one person break free from their narcissistic abuser before half of their life, or more, slips away.
Thank you for sharing your experience 💕. I’m hoping I can keep drawing strength from it. I’ve just cut contact with my mother after 48yr of physical, emotional and mental abuse… She said some horrible things to me and my husband after we’ve give up everything to look after her while she’s been extremely unwell, but for me, this time was my breaking point. I’m 48, she’s 83…and she is evil. She did a great job on me so I give into guilt, shame, obligation, loyalty and trying to keep proving that I’m the good person I know I am. She’s a bully - admits it and is proud of it. She’s negative, cruel with her comments, bullying, resentful, spiteful, a chronic complainer, a liar and talks to people so she can talk about them. After 2 weeks of no contact, one of her friends have left a voicemail asking for me to make contact. Another of her friends have text urging me to not leave it much longer to contact her snd tells me I should make things up with her cz I only get one mother…then today my mother has phoned, left a voicemail to tell me my sister is coming to visit…no sorry, are you ok, I shouldn’t have said what I said etc etc. now I feel things may start turning nasty as she goes through her cycle and is furious because she’s no control over me and can’t get to me… I’m a mix of feelings…scared and anxious being the main ones. I’m the youngest of 2 other sisters - they’ve not experienced my experiences and don’t see things as I do. They’ve very much of the thinking that it’s just our mother, take no notice…fine for them to say when they only speak to her once a week for 15-20min as opposed to seeing her for 6hrs a day every other day and a 1hr phone call 7 days a week. Hopefully I keep going ok. Thank you again for sharing 💕💕💕 and I’m so sorry your going through this too 😔💕🥰🙏
I agree completely. The longer you are in the relationship the HIGHER the TOLERANCE for abuse we developed. And therefore, DECADES LATER we look back and wonder how it happened. THE DEVELOPMENT OF HIGHER TOLERANCE FOR ABUSE IS SOMETHING NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT. Namaste! 💗
@@lourdesecheverria6209 Good point. I once read about how they’ll see what you’ll put up with then increase the pressure each time.The length of the rages showed me that mine was doing this. I used to time the big ones. From 5 minutes in the beginning it grew to 3 days with a lot of rage and punishments thrown in. I was the proverbial frog in the pan of water. If the water is heated slowly the frog doesn’t realise until it’s too late and it can’t get out and dies. If it was put into a pan of hot water it would have leapt straight out. If a big rage had happened before we got married I would have, without doubt, put a stop to the relationship.❤
Thank you for sharing this 💝 You are absolutely right, time is of the essence. Each day is very important and don’t allow it to be shared with someone who is not on your team.
@@freebird968-wg4ye I’m very sorry you went through this 😔 The rage fits are absolutely vile. Especially when it occurs out in public or in a moving vehicle where you have no other choice but to endure what’s happening to you. You’re right, they increase the pressure and the frequency. I began to pencil things in on my calendar in code so he didn’t know what it meant. Keeping track of the frequency is good because it puts things into perspective. You are not alone. ❤️🩹
Andrew, there is no age limit on narcissistic behavior. To everyone listening, I love you all and God loves you. He doesn’t make junk. Pray for the narcissist, you will, as you pray, that God loves them as well. But no mistake about it. Never cast pearls before swine.
So many things you mentioned in this video, omg! Yes he did so many of these! Yes you can't get that time back! Wis I knew all of this knowledge back then in 2020
Yes only give when you can,but don't entertain anyone that hurt you or broke your heart,,,it's your choices now we danced to their tune for far to long,,we are not responsible for them no more,🌼✨🙏🌺🤗❤️🌟🌟🦋🧘
They will never be your friend. Friends don't do hurtful things to you. Do not buy the lies they just want to be friends. They just want to know what you are doing. How they can use it to hurt you. Then pat themself on the back for being clever. Stay strong, it is worth it. It will get better. 💖💖
@@kathleencondit1660 we all need a rock, Andrew can be that rock. He lived it too. I have learned so much, my past before the narc makes so much sense now. Have a great day.
Even though I have blocked the narcissist, my ex friend left me 2 voicemails. I deleted them both. Indifference is a great quality to have when it comes to narcissism. I’m glad I didn’t get sucked into the vortex of toxicity.💪🦅😊
They’re pretty good on luring people back. They’re pretty good at their dramas. Keep on moving forward leave them behind, and if it’s a family member-hi and bye is good enough.
I'm so tired of running in circles just trying to pay my bills and getting the run around from legal aid when I literally have 0 income because mine took my job and my money when I confronted him about having an affair and he flipped out, Black eyes and all. I'm just barely hanging on right now. No way I'll ever allow my spawn of Satan back under the same roof as me. Thanks for your daily videos. 👍
It's a fantasy. The qualities they had didn't exist. I projected them on him. When he tried to hoover, l had been too long on my own getting well. In truth, he was vile....rude, entitled...inappropriate mean with money...unattractive. I think he was trying to triangulate me, too. Bottom line you grow they regress.
I didn't know until recently that actually childhood emotional neglect is the root cause for basically a big portion of our problems in life, be it a romantic relationship or having low self esteem, that is the elephant in the room that is not being highlighted often! We can't avoid narcs, they are everywhere but we have to feel content and fill the gap in our hearts after we identify the root cause in our minds. We are humans we have basic needs, when you are not given attention and love growing up, you are desperately filling that hole and attracting challenging relationships or push away good stable opportunities, this is the real issue. Also parents out there, you are blessed with kids but at the same time you have to give tons of love to your kids or they will suffer this issue, this is a deep topic and the root cause for many issues we are facing. Eye opening stuff!
I was reading a comment by someone in another blog on the topic of compartmentalism and the narcissist. This person made a comment that the victim of narcissistic abuse, who often see themselves as empaths etc, are actually, or were at some point in their childhood, a narcissist themselves and that the relationship with the narcissist is merely a mirror of themselves, or something like that, I will have to go back and read it again, but it got me thinking. Maybe at the root of this, the dark secret we just dont want to acknowledge about ourselves, is that there is an element of narcissism or borderline within us? That we attracted the narcissist into our lives to wake us up to this fact, to have it happen to us. I dont know, maybe I am (or rather this person is) totally off base here?
@@TheSeekeroftruth1 i don't think we were narcissists at some time before in our lives but we were thirty for attention and love so needed this frequent iterations of validation to feel approved again and again to fill that hole in our minds from challenging relationships such as narcissistic partners.
Yes we were conditioned to serve the Narcissist and act and behave in ways that always had to please the Narcissist,, we were not allowed to have feelings or our own opinions,so we had subconsciously,learned what to do to appease them, plus we learned to be people pleasers and always put other people and their needs and wants ahead of ours,,,I had enough been the scapegoat so I left at 22yrs old, lots love sent to all you warriors,keep moving forward Believe in yourselves and your strength, it comes from within,Blessings sent❤️❤️❤️🦋🌟
When someone is suffering or needs care what they will do is co-opt that person's suffering to draw attention to themselves. When my brother died of cancer my mother put on such a huge show of emotion. Only problem is that she didn't give two hoots about my brother. She went through massive amounts of trouble of screaming and bawling to draw attention and get support for herself, but none went to my dying brother who was abused to the very end. She put on a huge massive funeral for a bunch of strangers and all her friends, but there was no one who knew or even cared about my brother at his funeral. This is just touching on a small sliver of all the bizarre things she did. It was all so freaky and strange. She went thought all the trouble to buy a humidifier for him, only problem is that she didn't even bother to fill it with water.
@miichelcook, I agree with you 💯,I had the very same recently in April my brother passed,it was a private affair, people he knew and was friends with for 40 year didn't get invited,, my other brother died in 2017,we were not told of it until 7months later,,,I broke all contact since 2017, I also had 2Aunts that died and wasn't told about them back in2000,,my sister and mum are both C.Narcissists,sending love and deep understanding to you🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🌺🦋🌟
@@flowerpower4944 Thanks, your report seems almost identical to my experience. I also have a narcistic mother and sister, and an aunt, and uncle, and cousin that died recently. I live far away and didn't really know them, so I wasn't unnecessarily troubled to hear of their deaths. But every time I hear of a death is because she is trying draw me back in with her phony, never-ending suffering. Her emotional needs are irrational, and unrealistic. I'm the only one left and when my mother dies I am not going back there to put on a funeral for her friends. She even thinks she can manage and control her own funeral. Dying should be a time of peace, not a time to try to work out unresolved emotions and resentments at the last moment.
Good afternoon Andrew and everyone. There is no way my ex narc will EVER draw me back in. When I left him 12.5 years ago, I told him NEVER to contact me again. I know how dangerous it was now, but at that time, I had ENOUGH! I changed my phone #, I got off social media , and I moved. When I was in the hospital, that was the last straw. NOBODY is going to hurt me like that again. When you meet a gentle soul, and you like them, as an empath, you treat them with respect. You eventually learn to love them, and NOT to abuse them. I have been away from him all these years, and if I can make it, all you BEAUTIFUL people can too. For all the new people, KEEP COMING BACK TO THIS ROOM. Love you all. ❤
@@lailaa6662 At that particular time of my life, and 5 years with a monster, I couldn't take it anymore! I was told that it was a "dangerous" way to break up with a narcissist, but when you can't take anymore, BOOM!! You just lose it. I was told the BEST way to get rid of them is to "gray rock" (ignore) them. Thank you for the comment! 😊💕💪👍
My ex is a hypochondriac Supremo! During lockdown I was not able to go to the Dentist and my molar became inflamed puffing up the left side of my face like a balloon, did my ex even enquire whether I was OK, or even ask what was wrong? No! When he hurt his thumb, at work, and he had it all bandaged up (he even went to the hospital - I think they know him by name in there!), did he go nuts because I didnt ask him how he was or was willing to listen to his story? Yes! More recently, my daughter (the golden child/flying monkey) told me she thought her dad was dying. Like Andrew said, I'm pretty indifferent to this and it's nothing to do with me anymore, he left me when I got sick; he's made his bed ...
Andrew, I love so much when you say:" Don't forget, you come first, second and third", it's such a human reminder which puts so honestly & freely our own selves to the fore. To create our own space, where we can grow, feel happy and free. It makes indeed our lives precious and worth living. Thank you for your wondrous words of support. They are really healing ❤☀️🌻
Great reminder Andrew. I have had to remind myself repeatedly. The healing path has been long, and full of a lot of my own toxic nonsense. My advice is to just keep going, and don't look back unless you are giving a nod to the lesson.
This is a good message and so true! They do want to get you stuck in the past when they try it on again. It is pitiful. I have finally blocked them. Used to be uncertain about blocking but now I know it's right.
15 years since i was meeting the narcissist and went grey rock if i am the great A- supply that got away the narcissist is looking and waiting for a moment when you are vulnurable to hoover you in again.
We were neglected growing up by our parents, that's why we draw ourselves into this type of challenging relationships and trying to prove to our subconscious that we can get love and approval again and again from another individual with frequent iterations and be susceptible to narcissists who we found that have the breadcrumbing characters to put us in the dynamic we are looking for--frequent iterations of validation! Once you admit this and fill that hole in your mind, you will not be thirty for getting constant validation and will naturally be done with unloving people! Identity the root cause or you will fall for something one way or the other! Love to u all!
I thought mine was great too but I was fooled by my still happily married parents for 30 years who were too busy earning money and made strangers be my caregivers since I was a kid. Shocking stuff I know. Everything has to have a causation!
I feel like if you have a narcissistic parent(s) you’re groomed to be a certain way, it’s because that’s how THEY want you to be for THEM. When you’re a child you do not know any better. You might pick up on the other children in the neighborhood or kids at school and see what’s happening to you is not what’s going on in other children’s lives. If I remember correctly, narcissism has been deemed as a “generational curse.” These same children of narcissists then have a very good likelihood of getting into relationships with narcissists as adults because you’ve tolerated poor behavior and never questioned it. It’s not until you get the wisdom that you can then piece the puzzle together. Especially with a covert narcissist things start off so swimmingly. Then, the next thing you know, one thing leads to another and you don’t question it or do anything about it because as a child the behavior was okay, it was allowed. It’s a cycle, a vicious cycle. Now, you can’t blame other people. We all make our individual choices. I can’t blame my parents for my relationship mishaps, but I know that what happened to me as a child and further on down the line played a SIGNIFICANT role in the men I chose to have relationships with. Healing trauma, specifically childhood trauma is critical so you don’t make the same mistakes again. Going no contact with parents can be a very sticky situation, again when there are many, many moving parts. To those who do it… I commend them.
Yes, what your saying is fact. Have a narcissistic friend who I see him for who he is and set my boundaries to not involvement except when I choose to help. Now, my daughter just gave me notice that her father, the cop narcissist, will be passing through Wyoming on his way from Montana to California. My daughter knows I will not have anything to do with him,, I love that she honors me and my journey. Hang in there everyone will see through their mask. Stay safe, I'm locking my doors and will not be out and about during his visit. 30 years It doesn't go away ,you just get smarter, I will use my time wisely,will add to my book. Blessings to all, thank you Andrew.
Your every word describes my thought, my feelings and in fact my life. I don't know how you know, but I'm grateful for this validation. God bless! I'm free!!!
In a social/ sports group of 30 plus ( I've known for years) there was a core of half a dozen interchangeable Narc/Flying Monkeys. Bit the bullet and 86'd the scene. Smear campaign just started. Narcdaily had me on my toes at the right time. Prior, I was trying to figure out what was going on? After 8 months, I had an invite to a Monkey party. Hahahah-- "As If!"😆
Last year I was in the hospital for having a heart attack and my narcissist sister came. The nurses gave a code to her for calling on updates on my condition, without asking for my permission. I’ve spent only 3 days in hospital and was relieved to get back home to my apartment, which is not accessible by my narcissistic sister’s motorized wheelchair. This year she tried to get back at me by using our brother, who sent a text message with his ranting of dragging me into court. Well I blocked him and my one sister, then just to be sure and feel safe I blocked my second sister. So far I am still continuing to do “NO CONTACT” and it has helped me immensely. Love the new location, it is so calming.
I am so done with the narcissist and am so much happier since I blocked him and went no contact. I have to admit, though, I am worried he will either come by my house (in which case I won't open the door....not letting the vampire back in) or I will run into him in town. I'm sure he will give me the sob story : he's broke, he's sick, his mom is sick, he's having problems with his daughter, etc...to once again try to play on my empathy. That is why I know it is so important to maintain the block and NO CONTACT with him . Heck no I do NOT want to be sucked back into that toxic life. I am rebuilding my life & have so much to look forward to. He is NOT part of my future.
Hi Andrew, yes loving your new location and the tree over your right shoulder. Thank you for another powerful lesson. Mine actually developed health problems and letting everyone associated with him know, that he can't be stressed. What about all the stress we've been put through???? His unresolved anger issues have most likely lead to a build up of stress in his life. I will never go back there. My life is so much more peaceful now. I still have health issues to resolve of my own and trying to keep a roof over my head but it gets better. Dont go back there - listen to Adrew and his insights and wisdom and keep reading the comments and moving forward.
To keep yourself from being "LURED" BACK or from being 'SUSCEPTIBLE" to being drawn back we must first change our perception of ourselves. SAYING "NO" DOESN'T MAKE US A BAD OR UNCARING PERSON. It makes us an educated empath and it shows we have boundaries and are done being used and abused by the narc or toxic people. Blessings to all! Namaste!♥
Yes my kids are very angry with me. It’s hard to come home. I was expected to make an appearance at a funeral. Some how without doing anything different or saying a word they’ve been turned against me. I don’t know if I’ve become hard but my boundaries are built strong. I’m willing to (no matter how much it hurts) I will let go of them to so I stay healthy. Who knows? In time maybe they’ll turn around. I don’t owe anyone anything. My favourite word has been NO for years. I love your thing Andrew- when you say no to someone, you say yes to yourself. That’s so true!
I have been there after abusive treatments to stop you from leaving he tried to find bs excuses to keep you from leaving but it ‘s not working anymore! I don’t need him for anything I can make it on my own more powerful and higher self esteem! Being alone is not lonely is serene and peaceful
Can the narcissist do that? Dream about love like an empath does? Have loving memories of childhood excitement and wonder? I don’t know if they can feel that surge that I just felt, of such love for life.
Hi Andrew, hope life's treating you kind.? Am at six months no contact today, yahoo 🎉 I discarded him, physically and mentally could not take anymore. I just want to thank you for all your help n support with your knowledge daily for me n so many others, you have gave me strength, you gave me life, to which I will always be so grateful for. It's very challenging to the core, but day by day your energy gets better, still not 100% but am a strong little lady now, have boundaries, no people pleasing , time for me best version of me no 1 2 3,you taught me well lol 😊. Keep so strong everyone, love, light n blessings to you all. Take care all, love Avril ❤❣️❤️
I had a narcissist come back into my life after 20 years! It blew me away! I almost fell for it. I’ve been free from the last one for 9 1/2 months and I don’t need another one! It is hard bc they are damned good at persuasion when they want to be. You can remember every bad time and still doubt yourself. Take your time and heal, as long as you need, and be patient with yourself. I am not feeling like dating anyone anyways. Most small town guys where I live are all the same. I want better if there ever is a next time. So I have a question for anyone who wants to answer- what do you say when people ask you out and you aren’t dating? Im soon just going to tell people im celibate. 😂 That should weed them out huh?
Here is what might help you. Where are our memories? I walked into the gas station lobby, and I heard a song playing I heard for the first time in the fifth grade. THE SONG FLOORED ME, because Madonna flooded me with such exciting memories of that age. I sat in my room listening to this, just daydreaming of where my life would lead. An amazing time capsule to a very happy place, way before I met the narcissist, and way before the chaos of high school. Winter break days filled with sledding on the snow covered hills, summer days of little league baseball, and giddy about finding love. This might help you remember who you were and who you wanted to be when you grew up. It’s not too late for a gloriously happy life, full of what ifs. I embrace my loving nature, and romantic visions. Your all amazing. Make a choice in this debacle that they created, not to let them create another, and let you be free to be that person again. Full of life and wonder. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏✊✊✊✊✊ Love, prayers, and you can do it!! P.S. can you guess what song I’m gonna put on? Xoxoxo. Lol
This is really powerful. Thank you for sharing. I try to read a lot of the comments here and they really help. Your experience is really courageous and your words are motivating. Which Madonna song did you hear? She has so many songs spanning three or four decades now I think 😂 i sometimes listen to songs that I enjoyed before I met the narc as well. I have a party in my own brain when I’m walking outside with my headphones blasting 😄And it takes me back and helps me remember who I was and how excited for life I was at times. Can’t deal with slow songs right now though. Although I’ve never really liked slow lovie dovie songs anyway. It’s amazing how one song can just take you back through memories.
@@lailaa6662 Hey, glad to hear from you. The song “ live to tell” MADONNA. Yah, this is slower, but sounds mystical. The words hit so hard, the lyrics about what we are going through ring true. About the lies, and learning lessons. I never listened to the lyrics before now. So God lead me to this song for sure. It could’ve been holiday, or lucky star instead. Lol ….. remembering the past helped me to see just how differently I see life than a narcissist. So for me very empowering, because she can’t love, she cant experience the basics in life like I can, and that’s an………“ I gotcha moment for me, towards her”… Seems petty, but for a narcissist, it’s royal payback!! Thanks for sharing, we get a little at a time, but we are stronger for it. Have a blessed day. We all love you❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏✊✊✊✊✊✊
@@christopherbrubaker2070 I went ahead and listened to the song and had the lyrics in front of me too. You’re right, it is very relatable. I think I mostly don’t like slower songs because they make me feel sad. I feel sad enough so don’t need the extra sadness 😂 A few weeks ago I mentioned a song on here called patience, by take that. I had heard it after a few years of not hearing it and felt we could all relate to the lyrics too. Especially those who are healing. It’s a slow song. I remember as a teenager I didn’t mind slow songs especially if it was part of a favourite artists’ album or something. But back then I hadn’t dealt with narcs or narcissism (that I knew of). I like holiday, by Madonna 🙂 it’s very catchy. But very true, it was a sign for you to hear the other song instead. It’s interesting when these signs come up. To help you remember things and remind you that you are better than the narc. And to remind you of what you went through and who you were before them and who you are now. I appreciate that you shared on here. And the kind words as well. Wishing you a wonderful day (or night!) as well ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
@@lailaa6662 Wow, “patience”. Thank you for pointing that song out. I might point that out to my daughter, as she wants to fix it for me. She’s 24. I just haven’t known what to say to her because she is close with the narc. That’s my miserable circumstance. Until they see it too, which they probably won’t for decades if they do, I’m just gonna have to carry this. It’s just the way it is, cuz I don’t want to cause the kids stress in their lives. I’ve caused stress by fighting the narc to defend my right to my life, so I’m afraid that’s all they see and understand. Or should I say misunderstand. That’s the battle on top of the battle to consider myself valuable. I’ve won the self love part, so the people close to her is the other, but that’s ok. I know how strong, loving, and valuable I am, whether or not they see it. Thank you so much for your support and I know you can relate to this mess. I hope untouchable can relate to YOUR HIGHEST VALUE that you already have as well. We are winners, we have already won!!😇😇 ❤️❤️😇🙏🙏🙏🙏🫵🫵🫵🫵 We just need to keep acknowledging that.
Beautiful new location! Thank you always for your postings, Andrew. It’s definitely a lengthy process to heal, and nobody can rush that. I think that I’m finally towards the end of the dysfunction and brain fog and starting to paint the sun back in my own sky. myself and the rest of the community Appreciate your sharing your words of wisdom and experience. Im sending you love and light. 🌟
Hi Andrew, you are always looking good, taking care of yourself and relaxing in beautiful nature, keep being you, you got a trusted family in us online, 🥰
Thank you Andrew, I really needed to hear this on this day. I still have love and I still have hate in me and thats what makes it hard. But your always a good reminder of the truth of the situation. Namaste.
After we had split & I went no contact he popped up with some new created email telling me that his mother had passed away & some of her last words supposingly were: how is she & the kids doing?.. she - which is me- could only be astonished about the audicity of him to try to make contact with me in this manner. First: he did not like his mother. I was the one bringing her flowers. Second what a cowardly trick to make me react & feel pity. I wrote a condolence card & sent it to his sister. Not that she did not also drop me & flying monkely stuck to her brother after all went down. Seriously how can they believe they can do us harm, treat us like shit & then pop up with a fake smile again & think we would embrace them again. 7 times yes. Enough is enough. Time to move on & not look back. Ty
Thank you for your video's. I so want to get out of this relationship but stay because of compassion for him and because he now demonstrates love and care, unlike before, probably because I really call him out on any bs and his real fear of loosing me. However, I'm just so ready for a loving, supportive, mature relationship. (He is using a recent accident and subsequent pain to keep me around out of empathy)
So true in feigning illness or tragedy to garner sympathy victimhood. One said his father met an unfortunate demise. I think he was ashamed his father left for another woman. One said she has NHGL. I don’t know what stage but this has gone on for about twenty plus years. I think she glued the port onto her chest from some place. Another that discarded me about three months ago which provided me with the perfect gift had another neighbor narc call and say she had an emergency stent put in about six weeks ago. Perfect timing! It’s glaringly apparent how sad and pathetic they are. Shallow creatures when they could’ve done the right thing by being decent human beings. They are indeed tortured souls.
Take this from me I'm a survivor of this kind of abuse first hand! I may have not been through the same kind of of abuse that some of you were but we're all in the same boat of abuse. First of all I'm 💯 precent healed looking at the world through a different lense than people that are fresh out I can easily stop watching these videos now because I have plenty of knowledge and I'm healed. But what keeps me commenting on here is because of the ones who are fresh out of these kind of relationships. Like a military 🎖️🪖 mind I believe in no one gets left behind! I mean no one! Because I know how it is to feel like trash feeling like it's nothing to look forward to in life, losing weight and all that. I don't want none of you to continue in this madness any longer than you have to. I care about all of you please believe me like I said before I would not be here if I didn't. Andrew helped me so much when I was going through it just like you were all in this together. Keep pushing forward even through the hurt, break that trauma bond and you will feel like yourself again and a stronger version as well trust me it gets a whole lot better! Consider yourself lucky to have fallen on these videos like I was a lot of people don't get this opportunity. One love everyone! ❤️
Absolutely right Andrew. Yes I've blocked all contacts this year and moving on stronger than ever. It's taken time but the knowledge and wisdom I've gained through it all and coming across you Andrew on this channel is a blessing. Now after all these years I've noticed a brother that's a narc . And that's been a breakthrough to get him out of mine and my mother's life to whom and care for do much . As the days are going by mam and I are feeling much better , energy on the up and happier and stronger. And I am grateful. Thank you Andrew and God bless your family. ❤❤❤
@@jannlewandowski5540 hi there I’m great just kicked started my morning with a walk ready for the day ahead time to eat trust all is going great with you 🙏🌺🌸
Thank you Andrew.. this was a very useful video to watch.. especially today.. I’ve experienced being hoovered/drawn back in.. not just this year but even in the past without knowing it.. this year I knew it and was still drawn back in.. but I’m working on myself.. and I’m still trying to progress into the best path forward..someone else commented here that they lost most of their life because of the narc.. and I can really relate.. I feel I lost the best years because of him.. the years when I could have been doing other things like travel or working abroad etc.. yet those opportunities are limited now..but nonetheless.. my goal is to move forward and I’m trying hard to survive while in it.. and move on and forward sooner rather than later.. thank you.. this was a very informative and helpful video.
Months after I left the relationship, the narc had a heart attack. I visited them. I drove them to some medical procedures and rehab. I was encouraging. No Contact was broken.
Thank you for another reminder of their insidious abuse. My ex emptied our bank accounts and now I understand it was to get me to go back to him. My daughter says, “ Dad really misses you.”, so he using her as a flying monkey. They are now living together because she needs his financial support and I don’t talk to her as much now because I know he doing this to get me back. I am too strong and would not go back no matter what. Love your work and you Andrew ❤
Wow I am really confused and once again feeling like I am the narcissist. The person that I met really didn’t have a lot of money but worked. I would send grocery’s and things to him because I could. I didn’t know it was to trap him I thought It was a nice thing to do and I truly loved him.
Introspection sends many down the "Was I a Narc when I acted like that during that period of time?" I do that once in a while and maybe I was. I think it was Narc-ish traits, etc., but big diff from a "dyed in the wool" Narc who can't even introspect.
No you wasnt. Was he pouring back into you even time or emotionally even if he didnt have money or even getting a dollar tree card and writing something nice as appreciation...prob not. You prob was doing all the work in the relationship and all the thoughtful things. He also could have said things about not having any money because he knew you wld try and help as best you could...manipulation
Bless you for bringing such clarity. Thank you. I’m so sorry for your pain, but grateful you have alchemized it in order to benefit our collective growth and healing. Bravo!! 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you Andrew. Everything you said is exactly the case. We were through hell and back and we deserve better. Reaching the mountain top of indifference and healing our childhood wounds are key.
Well Andrew i must honestly say that my ex narc have not tried to draw me back in and that is a good thing. I got a few hoovers from him because in his sick mind he was certain that we could stay friends. 🤨 with a friend like that i don't need an enemy right? This life experience has changed the way i see people completely. Now i look for coherence. "What words conceal the face reveals" and i take the time i need to figure out if that person is a good person before accepting a friendship. This is the new me and i am on my way to a better quality of life due to this experience. Have a great evening Andrew ❤😊
So One discarded me at the beginning of the year. I moved on only to have a friend I have known for a long time show up. This lasted exactly 1 month and 26 days. In that time I was gas lit, assaulted physically/sexually, triangulated and projected upon. Clearly I need to live like the girl in a bubble. I am offically done. 2023 Wins Flawless Victory
My aunt is always claiming illness! She has been such a horrible person all her life and this is a clear ploy for sympathy. It's her way of forcing people to be there for her.
Thank you, I really needed this video 💕. Recently the narc (ex co-writer) showed up on my new account, liking my story. Since then I have anxiety and even had a nightmare about them yesterday. They didn't even need to text me to make me feel paranoid. The story they liked hasn't been doing well recently, so I think they just want to lure me back slowly by showing me that my work isn't good enough without their promotion or advice. Or they try to prepare me for some kind of interaction, in which they'll bring up what they did for me again. Either way, it scares me a bit. I shouldn't be afraid of another person like that... Maybe I really should block them on that account too and look for professional help...
yep! so many needs! but when i have needs? when i have needs i'm made to feel helpless incapable stupid lying and a terrible person ... not anymore tho my ex and his lot can call on each other now! no good times to be had, no laughter, no fun no sleep no time out, no peace it's impossible to keep up i cant do it! it is litterally exhausting and consuming and neglectful they're like a massive mindless broken machine that never ever stops machines cant hear people they cant feel people they cant be quiet ever. thankyou Andrew for the daily reminder! namaste xx
Please…. The only Gift that my Narcy so called Partner gave me was Dinner, take away or at a pub where he is gambling and wants a free drive home. Scratchies for a couple of remembered birthday Le and that is it. I understand now that he only ever wanted me was for my money, cleaning, driving and all of my belongings. He pretended that I was his Number 1 supply but never was as he had his Number 1,2,3 and 4 supplies in the background.😢😢😢😢😢
That is so true Andrew all the time now they turned the charm and then maybe means selfish I mean to throw things in your face and just call you disgusting are you piece of crap I means a lot of stuff narcissist people with this is what they do and specially the closest ones with you know how they do it that's why I don't want to be by when I think it's time to shut down and shut the door don't open that door again thank you so much for this video Andrew I appreciate it
Worst thing I’ve done is break No contact, it just gets worse
Thank you for sharing this Robin!
🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 after that , i got discarded .😞
Amen❤. Dealing with it now. Stay true to your unburdened spirit and authenticity ❤
I did it once before but, I got away permanently
Get away and remember you deserve yor self worth!
Run away from those people who make you suffer. Not every loss is a loss.
🙌💙
I Agree with you sometimes is a Blessing 🙏❤✌✊🌞🕊
You are SO right, Ruby! ❤❤❤❤❤
💯
😊
Please listen to Andrew’s wise words. Don’t get sucked back in. Stay no contact, stay far away. Don’t fall for any of the tricks and manipulations to Hoover you back into their orbit. The time spent catering to a narcissistic abuser is time you can never get back.
I fell into my narc relationship when I was 16, had a moment of clarity when I was 19 and left him, and long story short, I was sucked back in a few months later for what would turn out to be 22 more years of Hell, which would have been longer had he not passed away after a sudden illness.
I sacrificed my youth, my dignity, my mental health, and so much more for that manchild, and over 8 years later I’ve come a long way in my healing but that part of my journey isn’t over yet. I’m still dealing with the fallout.
I hope my comment helps at least one person break free from their narcissistic abuser before half of their life, or more, slips away.
Thank you for sharing your experience 💕. I’m hoping I can keep drawing strength from it.
I’ve just cut contact with my mother after 48yr of physical, emotional and mental abuse…
She said some horrible things to me and my husband after we’ve give up everything to look after her while she’s been extremely unwell, but for me, this time was my breaking point.
I’m 48, she’s 83…and she is evil. She did a great job on me so I give into guilt, shame, obligation, loyalty and trying to keep proving that I’m the good person I know I am.
She’s a bully - admits it and is proud of it.
She’s negative, cruel with her comments, bullying, resentful, spiteful, a chronic complainer, a liar and talks to people so she can talk about them.
After 2 weeks of no contact, one of her friends have left a voicemail asking for me to make contact. Another of her friends have text urging me to not leave it much longer to contact her snd tells me I should make things up with her cz I only get one mother…then today my mother has phoned, left a voicemail to tell me my sister is coming to visit…no sorry, are you ok, I shouldn’t have said what I said etc etc.
now I feel things may start turning nasty as she goes through her cycle and is furious because she’s no control over me and can’t get to me…
I’m a mix of feelings…scared and anxious being the main ones.
I’m the youngest of 2 other sisters - they’ve not experienced my experiences and don’t see things as I do. They’ve very much of the thinking that it’s just our mother, take no notice…fine for them to say when they only speak to her once a week for 15-20min as opposed to seeing her for 6hrs a day every other day and a 1hr phone call 7 days a week.
Hopefully I keep going ok. Thank you again for sharing 💕💕💕 and I’m so sorry your going through this too 😔💕🥰🙏
I agree completely. The longer you are in the relationship the HIGHER the TOLERANCE for abuse we developed. And therefore, DECADES LATER we look back and wonder how it happened. THE DEVELOPMENT OF HIGHER TOLERANCE FOR ABUSE IS SOMETHING NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT. Namaste! 💗
@@lourdesecheverria6209 Good point. I once read about how they’ll see what you’ll put up with then increase the pressure each time.The length of the rages showed me that mine was doing this. I used to time the big ones. From 5 minutes in the beginning it grew to 3 days with a lot of rage and punishments thrown in. I was the proverbial frog in the pan of water. If the water is heated slowly the frog doesn’t realise until it’s too late and it can’t get out and dies. If it was put into a pan of hot water it would have leapt straight out. If a big rage had happened before we got married I would have, without doubt, put a stop to the relationship.❤
Thank you for sharing this 💝 You are absolutely right, time is of the essence. Each day is very important and don’t allow it to be shared with someone who is not on your team.
@@freebird968-wg4ye I’m very sorry you went through this 😔 The rage fits are absolutely vile. Especially when it occurs out in public or in a moving vehicle where you have no other choice but to endure what’s happening to you. You’re right, they increase the pressure and the frequency. I began to pencil things in on my calendar in code so he didn’t know what it meant. Keeping track of the frequency is good because it puts things into perspective. You are not alone. ❤️🩹
Andrew, there is no age limit on narcissistic behavior. To everyone listening, I love you all and God loves you. He doesn’t make junk. Pray for the narcissist, you will, as you pray, that God loves them as well. But no mistake about it. Never cast pearls before swine.
Some Atheists like Myself have also endured years of Narcissistic abuse. Ok Thank You
100%. My aunt is in her late 70s and I recently heard about a vicious rumor she is spreading about my late father. She is awful!
God bless you and keep you. I love my merciful God, and I will be merciful to those with afflictions. Thank you
❤❤❤❤
So many things you mentioned in this video, omg!
Yes he did so many of these!
Yes you can't get that time back! Wis I knew all of this knowledge back then in 2020
Yes only give when you can,but don't entertain anyone that hurt you or broke your heart,,,it's your choices now we danced to their tune for far to long,,we are not responsible for them no more,🌼✨🙏🌺🤗❤️🌟🌟🦋🧘
👍👍👍👍👍
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@@marieeakin8534🦋🌟🧘❤️❤️❤️❤️
💯✌️😎
@@jessmason2112,hope ur doing well,Jess,🦋🌟🧘😇❤
@@flowerpower4944 I'm fine. Thank you for asking. I hope you have a nice evening. ✌️😎
They will never be your friend.
Friends don't do hurtful things to you.
Do not buy the lies they just want to be friends.
They just want to know what you are doing.
How they can use it to hurt you.
Then pat themself on the back for being clever.
Stay strong, it is worth it.
It will get better.
💖💖
😉😉💯
💖💖
Watching Andrew everyday, keeps the narc away!!!
Great saying.
@@kathleencondit1660 we all need a rock, Andrew can be that rock. He lived it too. I have learned so much, my past before the narc makes so much sense now. Have a great day.
Love it
Hi Andrew,and hi to all you powerful beautiful Warriors,❤️❤️❤️🌟
😌💯😊
@flowerpower. Hi, Flower, hope you're doing well. 👍🌞💕🌷🖐
Even though I have blocked the narcissist, my ex friend left me 2 voicemails. I deleted them both. Indifference is a great quality to have when it comes to narcissism. I’m glad I didn’t get sucked into the vortex of toxicity.💪🦅😊
Please also BLOCK THEM.
That way you will be more free♡
@@gloriarangott8803 I did block them. Even though I didn’t get the calls apparently they can leave voicemails.
When you are dealing with narcissistic people silence will always keep you moving forward.
😊
@@chazbickel4518 Silence speaks volumes to the narcissists. 😊👍
They get so PISSED when you avoid the contact. If they had any love for you at all none of this would be happening.
If we have a relationship with our Creator God Almighty ❤️😎❤️ we have EVERYTHING 🌺
Today I made a decision without doubting myself.
It felt good.
💯 every body thinks I’m acting weird… I just can’t participate in lies anymore…. I do care about them… boundaries benefit all of us 🙏🏾
Important warning!😮
It doesn't matter what he draws, I'm not falling for his artwork again!! Thanks family!!
They’re pretty good on luring people back. They’re pretty good at their dramas. Keep on moving forward leave them behind, and if it’s a family member-hi and bye is good enough.
‼️"My cup of care is empty "‼️
for the Narcissist.
Beautiful location, thank you for this video, Andrew❤🌿
Hi Lio!🌻🌼🔆
@@emilywilson7308 Hey Emily, how is everything going? 😊🦄🌻🌿🌼
I really enjoy you analogies of the narcissistic relationship. Up and down like a yo yo. Spot on!
I'm so tired of running in circles just trying to pay my bills and getting the run around from legal aid when I literally have 0 income because mine took my job and my money when I confronted him about having an affair and he flipped out, Black eyes and all. I'm just barely hanging on right now. No way I'll ever allow my spawn of Satan back under the same roof as me.
Thanks for your daily videos. 👍
Stay strong I hope things improve for you soon I understand where your coming from
Welcome 😌🙌💪
@petert6543 I'm trying, but man oh man is this exhausting 😪
@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone thank you and I'm just beyond exhausted at this point. 😪
It's a fantasy. The qualities they had didn't exist. I projected them on him.
When he tried to hoover, l had been too long on my own getting well.
In truth, he was vile....rude, entitled...inappropriate mean with money...unattractive.
I think he was trying to triangulate me, too.
Bottom line you grow they regress.
I didn't know until recently that actually childhood emotional neglect is the root cause for basically a big portion of our problems in life, be it a romantic relationship or having low self esteem, that is the elephant in the room that is not being highlighted often! We can't avoid narcs, they are everywhere but we have to feel content and fill the gap in our hearts after we identify the root cause in our minds. We are humans we have basic needs, when you are not given attention and love growing up, you are desperately filling that hole and attracting challenging relationships or push away good stable opportunities, this is the real issue. Also parents out there, you are blessed with kids but at the same time you have to give tons of love to your kids or they will suffer this issue, this is a deep topic and the root cause for many issues we are facing. Eye opening stuff!
I was reading a comment by someone in another blog on the topic of compartmentalism and the narcissist. This person made a comment that the victim of narcissistic abuse, who often see themselves as empaths etc, are actually, or were at some point in their childhood, a narcissist themselves and that the relationship with the narcissist is merely a mirror of themselves, or something like that, I will have to go back and read it again, but it got me thinking. Maybe at the root of this, the dark secret we just dont want to acknowledge about ourselves, is that there is an element of narcissism or borderline within us? That we attracted the narcissist into our lives to wake us up to this fact, to have it happen to us. I dont know, maybe I am (or rather this person is) totally off base here?
I don't think we were narcs.
@@TheSeekeroftruth1 i don't think we were narcissists at some time before in our lives but we were thirty for attention and love so needed this frequent iterations of validation to feel approved again and again to fill that hole in our minds from challenging relationships such as narcissistic partners.
Yes we were conditioned to serve the Narcissist and act and behave in ways that always had to please the Narcissist,, we were not allowed to have feelings or our own opinions,so we had subconsciously,learned what to do to appease them, plus we learned to be people pleasers and always put other people and their needs and wants ahead of ours,,,I had enough been the scapegoat so I left at 22yrs old, lots love sent to all you warriors,keep moving forward Believe in yourselves and your strength, it comes from within,Blessings sent❤️❤️❤️🦋🌟
@@flowerpower4944 Hi Flower, Thank you for this message. You are inspiring us!
🌻💪🏻🌸🌼🌺🌹🌷
When someone is suffering or needs care what they will do is co-opt that person's suffering to draw attention to themselves. When my brother died of cancer my mother put on such a huge show of emotion. Only problem is that she didn't give two hoots about my brother. She went through massive amounts of trouble of screaming and bawling to draw attention and get support for herself, but none went to my dying brother who was abused to the very end. She put on a huge massive funeral for a bunch of strangers and all her friends, but there was no one who knew or even cared about my brother at his funeral. This is just touching on a small sliver of all the bizarre things she did. It was all so freaky and strange. She went thought all the trouble to buy a humidifier for him, only problem is that she didn't even bother to fill it with water.
So sorry!🙏🙌❤️
@miichelcook, I agree with you 💯,I had the very same recently in April my brother passed,it was a private affair, people he knew and was friends with for 40 year didn't get invited,, my other brother died in 2017,we were not told of it until 7months later,,,I broke all contact since 2017, I also had 2Aunts that died and wasn't told about them back in2000,,my sister and mum are both C.Narcissists,sending love and deep understanding to you🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🌺🦋🌟
@@flowerpower4944 Thanks, your report seems almost identical to my experience. I also have a narcistic mother and sister, and an aunt, and uncle, and cousin that died recently. I live far away and didn't really know them, so I wasn't unnecessarily troubled to hear of their deaths. But every time I hear of a death is because she is trying draw me back in with her phony, never-ending suffering. Her emotional needs are irrational, and unrealistic. I'm the only one left and when my mother dies I am not going back there to put on a funeral for her friends. She even thinks she can manage and control her own funeral. Dying should be a time of peace, not a time to try to work out unresolved emotions and resentments at the last moment.
👍👍❤️❤️❤️❤️🧘🦋🦋
Relese the cracken
I actually had a former bf who’s a narcissist, tell me “That’s right, it is never enough”, after I called him out on that.
❤️🙌🌳Beautiful location! Natural setting 😍
@chelseapeterson, Heeyy girl, how are you? Hope all is well. I have a lot going on, but all is well..🌞👍🌷💕
@@jannlewandowski5540 I’m glad you’re doing ok. I’m also ok. 🌸💖🙏🌷 we’ll catch up another time when you’re not so busy 😉
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 hope you’re doing good ❤️🙏
He’s a lonely man craving any attention he can get from anyone he passes. And we will never be enough for a person like this.
Good afternoon Andrew and everyone. There is no way my ex narc will EVER draw me back in. When I left him 12.5 years ago, I told him NEVER to contact me again. I know how dangerous it was now, but at that time, I had ENOUGH! I changed my phone #, I got off social media , and I moved. When I was in the hospital, that was the last straw. NOBODY is going to hurt me like that again. When you meet a gentle soul, and you like them, as an empath, you treat them with respect. You eventually learn to love them, and NOT to abuse them.
I have been away from him all these years, and if I can make it, all you BEAUTIFUL people can too.
For all the new people, KEEP COMING BACK TO THIS ROOM.
Love you all. ❤
Thank you for sharing this insight 🙏🙌😌💯💪
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Love you...
🙏👏❤
Thank you for sharing this jann.. it’s really courageous, and powerful and brave.
@@lailaa6662 At that particular time of my life, and 5 years with a monster, I couldn't take it anymore! I was told that it was a "dangerous" way to break up with a narcissist, but when you can't take anymore, BOOM!! You just lose it. I was told the BEST way to get rid of them is to "gray rock" (ignore) them.
Thank you for the comment! 😊💕💪👍
My ex is a hypochondriac Supremo! During lockdown I was not able to go to the Dentist and my molar became inflamed puffing up the left side of my face like a balloon, did my ex even enquire whether I was OK, or even ask what was wrong? No! When he hurt his thumb, at work, and he had it all bandaged up (he even went to the hospital - I think they know him by name in there!), did he go nuts because I didnt ask him how he was or was willing to listen to his story? Yes! More recently, my daughter (the golden child/flying monkey) told me she thought her dad was dying. Like Andrew said, I'm pretty indifferent to this and it's nothing to do with me anymore, he left me when I got sick; he's made his bed ...
Andrew, I love so much when you say:" Don't forget, you come first, second and third", it's such a human reminder which puts so honestly & freely our own selves to the fore. To create our own space, where we can grow, feel happy and free. It makes indeed our lives precious and worth living. Thank you for your wondrous words of support. They are really healing ❤☀️🌻
Welcome 😌🙌😇
Great reminder Andrew. I have had to remind myself repeatedly. The healing path has been long, and full of a lot of my own toxic nonsense. My advice is to just keep going, and don't look back unless you are giving a nod to the lesson.
@heatherharte1221, TIME will heal. I remember when I left him. I thought I couldn't live without him. I'm still here. Keep coming back to this room. ❤
I can totally relate to your comment! Thanks for sharing!
This is a good message and so true! They do want to get you stuck in the past when they try it on again. It is pitiful. I have finally blocked them. Used to be uncertain about blocking but now I know it's right.
15 years since i was meeting the narcissist and went grey rock if i am the great A- supply that got away the narcissist is looking and waiting for a moment when you are vulnurable to hoover you in again.
@julleram. It's been 12.5 years for me. It takes time, but you do make it. ❤🌞🙏
Stay away from tcxics. Keep yourself first, second, third as Andrew says ❣️
💯💯💯
Ur right I don’t need people… I only need God and He provides the people… the right people for me.
@erikazella5225, I know That God helped me! I'm still alive..💪👍🌞🌞🙏🙏
We were neglected growing up by our parents, that's why we draw ourselves into this type of challenging relationships and trying to prove to our subconscious that we can get love and approval again and again from another individual with frequent iterations and be susceptible to narcissists who we found that have the breadcrumbing characters to put us in the dynamic we are looking for--frequent iterations of validation! Once you admit this and fill that hole in your mind, you will not be thirty for getting constant validation and will naturally be done with unloving people! Identity the root cause or you will fall for something one way or the other! Love to u all!
Not everyone’s child hood was bad , in fact mine was pretty awesome 👏. You can not generalize on this
I thought mine was great too but I was fooled by my still happily married parents for 30 years who were too busy earning money and made strangers be my caregivers since I was a kid. Shocking stuff I know. Everything has to have a causation!
I feel like if you have a narcissistic parent(s) you’re groomed to be a certain way, it’s because that’s how THEY want you to be for THEM. When you’re a child you do not know any better. You might pick up on the other children in the neighborhood or kids at school and see what’s happening to you is not what’s going on in other children’s lives. If I remember correctly, narcissism has been deemed as a “generational curse.” These same children of narcissists then have a very good likelihood of getting into relationships with narcissists as adults because you’ve tolerated poor behavior and never questioned it. It’s not until you get the wisdom that you can then piece the puzzle together. Especially with a covert narcissist things start off so swimmingly. Then, the next thing you know, one thing leads to another and you don’t question it or do anything about it because as a child the behavior was okay, it was allowed. It’s a cycle, a vicious cycle. Now, you can’t blame other people. We all make our individual choices. I can’t blame my parents for my relationship mishaps, but I know that what happened to me as a child and further on down the line played a SIGNIFICANT role in the men I chose to have relationships with.
Healing trauma, specifically childhood trauma is critical so you don’t make the same mistakes again. Going no contact with parents can be a very sticky situation, again when there are many, many moving parts. To those who do it… I commend them.
@@danielle1103 yep…well said. We didn’t learn about boundaries. (I didn’t know what boundaries were! And still need to work on this concept).
@@freebird968-wg4ye exactly, our parents fail to parent us that's why we didn't get the education from the get-go!
Yes, what your saying is fact. Have a narcissistic friend who I see him for who he is and set my boundaries to not involvement except when I choose to help. Now, my daughter just gave me notice that her father, the cop narcissist, will be passing through Wyoming on his way from Montana to California. My daughter knows I will not have anything to do with him,, I love that she honors me and my journey. Hang in there everyone will see through their mask. Stay safe, I'm locking my doors and will not be out and about during his visit. 30 years It doesn't go away ,you just get smarter, I will use my time wisely,will add to my book. Blessings to all, thank you Andrew.
Your every word describes my thought, my feelings and in fact my life. I don't know how you know, but I'm grateful for this validation. God bless! I'm free!!!
In a social/ sports group of 30 plus ( I've known for years) there was a core of half a dozen interchangeable Narc/Flying Monkeys. Bit the bullet and 86'd the scene. Smear campaign just started. Narcdaily had me on my toes at the right time. Prior, I was trying to figure out what was going on? After 8 months, I had an invite to a Monkey party. Hahahah-- "As If!"😆
Last year I was in the hospital for having a heart attack and my narcissist sister came. The nurses gave a code to her for calling on updates on my condition, without asking for my permission. I’ve spent only 3 days in hospital and was relieved to get back home to my apartment, which is not accessible by my narcissistic sister’s motorized wheelchair. This year she tried to get back at me by using our brother, who sent a text message with his ranting of dragging me into court. Well I blocked him and my one sister, then just to be sure and feel safe I blocked my second sister. So far I am still continuing to do “NO CONTACT” and it has helped me immensely. Love the new location, it is so calming.
💪🙌💯
I am so done with the narcissist and am so much happier since I blocked him and went no contact. I have to admit, though, I am worried he will either come by my house (in which case I won't open the door....not letting the vampire back in) or I will run into him in town. I'm sure he will give me the sob story : he's broke, he's sick, his mom is sick, he's having problems with his daughter, etc...to once again try to play on my empathy. That is why I know it is so important to maintain the block and NO CONTACT with him . Heck no I do NOT want to be sucked back into that toxic life. I am rebuilding my life & have so much to look forward to. He is NOT part of my future.
Hi Andrew, yes loving your new location and the tree over your right shoulder. Thank you for another powerful lesson. Mine actually developed health problems and letting everyone associated with him know, that he can't be stressed. What about all the stress we've been put through???? His unresolved anger issues have most likely lead to a build up of stress in his life. I will never go back there. My life is so much more peaceful now. I still have health issues to resolve of my own and trying to keep a roof over my head but it gets better. Dont go back there - listen to Adrew and his insights and wisdom and keep reading the comments and moving forward.
Thank you for sharing 🙌🙏🌳😌
To keep yourself from being "LURED" BACK or from being 'SUSCEPTIBLE" to being drawn back we must first change our perception of ourselves. SAYING "NO" DOESN'T MAKE US A BAD OR UNCARING PERSON. It makes us an educated empath and it shows we have boundaries and are done being used and abused by the narc or toxic people. Blessings to all! Namaste!♥
Yes my kids are very angry with me. It’s hard to come home. I was expected to make an appearance at a funeral. Some how without doing anything different or saying a word they’ve been turned against me. I don’t know if I’ve become hard but my boundaries are built strong. I’m willing to (no matter how much it hurts) I will let go of them to so I stay healthy. Who knows? In time maybe they’ll turn around. I don’t owe anyone anything. My favourite word has been NO for years. I love your thing Andrew- when you say no to someone, you say yes to yourself. That’s so true!
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I have been there after abusive treatments to stop you from leaving he tried to find bs excuses to keep you from leaving but it ‘s not working anymore! I don’t need him for anything I can make it on my own more powerful and higher self esteem! Being alone is not lonely is serene and peaceful
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They are completely deviod of compassion..strangest relationship I've ever been in...destroyed my life and walked off
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Can the narcissist do that? Dream about love like an empath does? Have loving memories of childhood excitement and wonder?
I don’t know if they can feel that surge that I just felt, of such love for life.
Hi Andrew, hope life's treating you kind.? Am at six months no contact today, yahoo 🎉 I discarded him, physically and mentally could not take anymore. I just want to thank you for all your help n support with your knowledge daily for me n so many others, you have gave me strength, you gave me life, to which I will always be so grateful for. It's very challenging to the core, but day by day your energy gets better, still not 100% but am a strong little lady now, have boundaries, no people pleasing , time for me best version of me no 1 2 3,you taught me well lol 😊. Keep so strong everyone, love, light n blessings to you all. Take care all, love Avril ❤❣️❤️
I had a narcissist come back into my life after 20 years! It blew me away! I almost fell for it. I’ve been free from the last one for 9 1/2 months and I don’t need another one! It is hard bc they are damned good at persuasion when they want to be. You can remember every bad time and still doubt yourself. Take your time and heal, as long as you need, and be patient with yourself. I am not feeling like dating anyone anyways. Most small town guys where I live are all the same. I want better if there ever is a next time. So I have a question for anyone who wants to answer- what do you say when people ask you out and you aren’t dating? Im soon just going to tell people im celibate. 😂 That should weed them out huh?
Here is what might help you. Where are our memories?
I walked into the gas station lobby, and I heard a song playing I heard for the first time in the fifth grade. THE SONG FLOORED ME, because Madonna flooded me with such exciting memories of that age. I sat in my room listening to this, just daydreaming of where my life would lead. An amazing time capsule to a very happy place, way before I met the narcissist, and way before the chaos of high school. Winter break days filled with sledding on the snow covered hills, summer days of little league baseball, and giddy about finding love.
This might help you remember who you were and who you wanted to be when you grew up. It’s not too late for a gloriously happy life, full of what ifs.
I embrace my loving nature, and romantic visions.
Your all amazing. Make a choice in this debacle that they created, not to let them create another, and let you be free to be that person again. Full of life and wonder. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏✊✊✊✊✊
Love, prayers, and you can do it!!
P.S. can you guess what song I’m gonna put on? Xoxoxo. Lol
This is really powerful. Thank you for sharing. I try to read a lot of the comments here and they really help. Your experience is really courageous and your words are motivating. Which Madonna song did you hear? She has so many songs spanning three or four decades now I think 😂 i sometimes listen to songs that I enjoyed before I met the narc as well. I have a party in my own brain when I’m walking outside with my headphones blasting 😄And it takes me back and helps me remember who I was and how excited for life I was at times. Can’t deal with slow songs right now though. Although I’ve never really liked slow lovie dovie songs anyway. It’s amazing how one song can just take you back through memories.
@@lailaa6662 Hey, glad to hear from you. The song “ live to tell” MADONNA. Yah, this is slower, but sounds mystical. The words hit so hard, the lyrics about what we are going through ring true. About the lies, and learning lessons. I never listened to the lyrics before now. So God lead me to this song for sure.
It could’ve been holiday, or lucky star instead. Lol ….. remembering the past helped me to see just how differently I see life than a narcissist. So for me very empowering, because she can’t love, she cant experience the basics in life like I can, and that’s an………“ I gotcha moment for me, towards her”…
Seems petty, but for a narcissist, it’s royal payback!! Thanks for sharing, we get a little at a time, but we are stronger for it. Have a blessed day. We all love you❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏✊✊✊✊✊✊
That’s so lovely, useful and uplifting. Thank you ❤
@@christopherbrubaker2070 I went ahead and listened to the song and had the lyrics in front of me too. You’re right, it is very relatable. I think I mostly don’t like slower songs because they make me feel sad. I feel sad enough so don’t need the extra sadness 😂 A few weeks ago I mentioned a song on here called patience, by take that. I had heard it after a few years of not hearing it and felt we could all relate to the lyrics too. Especially those who are healing. It’s a slow song. I remember as a teenager I didn’t mind slow songs especially if it was part of a favourite artists’ album or something. But back then I hadn’t dealt with narcs or narcissism (that I knew of). I like holiday, by Madonna 🙂 it’s very catchy. But very true, it was a sign for you to hear the other song instead. It’s interesting when these signs come up. To help you remember things and remind you that you are better than the narc. And to remind you of what you went through and who you were before them and who you are now. I appreciate that you shared on here. And the kind words as well. Wishing you a wonderful day (or night!) as well ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
@@lailaa6662 Wow, “patience”. Thank you for pointing that song out. I might point that out to my daughter, as she wants to fix it for me. She’s 24. I just haven’t known what to say to her because she is close with the narc. That’s my miserable circumstance. Until they see it too, which they probably won’t for decades if they do, I’m just gonna have to carry this. It’s just the way it is, cuz I don’t want to cause the kids stress in their lives. I’ve caused stress by fighting the narc to defend my right to my life, so I’m afraid that’s all they see and understand. Or should I say misunderstand. That’s the battle on top of the battle to consider myself valuable. I’ve won the self love part, so the people close to her is the other, but that’s ok. I know how strong, loving, and valuable I am, whether or not they see it.
Thank you so much for your support and I know you can relate to this mess. I hope untouchable can relate to YOUR HIGHEST VALUE that you already have as well.
We are winners, we have already won!!😇😇
❤️❤️😇🙏🙏🙏🙏🫵🫵🫵🫵
We just need to keep acknowledging that.
Love and light to you and yours Andrew. Thank you for being a inspiration and leader. Lead us to the light. Proud of you !
Beautiful new location! Thank you always for your postings, Andrew. It’s definitely a lengthy process to heal, and nobody can rush that. I think that I’m finally towards the end of the dysfunction and brain fog and starting to paint the sun back in my own sky. myself and the rest of the community Appreciate your sharing your words of wisdom and experience. Im sending you love and light. 🌟
Hi Andrew, you are always looking good, taking care of yourself and relaxing in beautiful nature, keep being you, you got a trusted family in us online, 🥰
🎉All true . I do save all my energy empathy and love for the people that deserve it 🎉 loving that tree behind you ❤
TAKE THE LAST TRAIN TO NARCSVILLE!
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😂😂😂😂,❤
I'll meet you at 4:30....but I guess I'll see the narc an hour later.....if at all....na..na..na..nana!!!
@mariageaney2362 You go girl! I'm singing with ya! 🎼🎶🎷🎼👍👍
Thank you Andrew, I really needed to hear this on this day. I still have love and I still have hate in me and thats what makes it hard. But your always a good reminder of the truth of the situation. Namaste.
thechad3988 Hi, I felt the same. It takes time, but you will be much easier with that situation. I was there too.💕👍
@@jannlewandowski5540 Marry me Jann!
Leaving was easy...staying away getting easier...at this moment anyways.
Ur so right Andrew. Thank you! I just find a place to lay my head & I do.
Welcome 😌💯🙌
This video is exactly what I needed to hear today. Your backdrops are always so beautiful and peaceful. Your content outstanding! 🌻❤️💯👍💪🙏
I really like the tree right behind you!
❤
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After we had split & I went no contact he popped up with some new created email telling me that his mother had passed away & some of her last words supposingly were: how is she & the kids doing?.. she - which is me- could only be astonished about the audicity of him to try to make contact with me in this manner. First: he did not like his mother. I was the one bringing her flowers. Second what a cowardly trick to make me react & feel pity. I wrote a condolence card & sent it to his sister. Not that she did not also drop me & flying monkely stuck to her brother after all went down. Seriously how can they believe they can do us harm, treat us like shit & then pop up with a fake smile again & think we would embrace them again. 7 times yes. Enough is enough. Time to move on & not look back. Ty
Welcome 💪🙌💯🙏
The ones I knew/past tense were so God Awful-that they could never get as sick as their victims-the one that got away🌴
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Thank you, Andrew, Thank you...I cannot thank you enough
Welcome 🙌😌🙏
Andrew, you are right about everything. I believe that narcissists are demon controlled. ❤️🙏
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Thank you for your video's. I so want to get out of this relationship but stay because of compassion for him and because he now demonstrates love and care, unlike before, probably because I really call him out on any bs and his real fear of loosing me. However, I'm just so ready for a loving, supportive, mature relationship. (He is using a recent accident and subsequent pain to keep me around out of empathy)
Welcome 😌🙌🙏
So true in feigning illness or tragedy to garner sympathy victimhood. One said his father met an unfortunate demise. I think he was ashamed his father left for another woman. One said she has NHGL. I don’t know what stage but this has gone on for about twenty plus years. I think she glued the port onto her chest from some place. Another that discarded me about three months ago which provided me with the perfect gift had another neighbor narc call and say she had an emergency stent put in about six weeks ago. Perfect timing! It’s glaringly apparent how sad and pathetic they are. Shallow creatures when they could’ve done the right thing by being decent human beings. They are indeed tortured souls.
Take this from me I'm a survivor of this kind of abuse first hand! I may have not been through the same kind of of abuse that some of you were but we're all in the same boat of abuse. First of all I'm 💯 precent healed looking at the world through a different lense than people that are fresh out I can easily stop watching these videos now because I have plenty of knowledge and I'm healed. But what keeps me commenting on here is because of the ones who are fresh out of these kind of relationships. Like a military 🎖️🪖 mind I believe in no one gets left behind! I mean no one! Because I know how it is to feel like trash feeling like it's nothing to look forward to in life, losing weight and all that. I don't want none of you to continue in this madness any longer than you have to. I care about all of you please believe me like I said before I would not be here if I didn't. Andrew helped me so much when I was going through it just like you were all in this together. Keep pushing forward even through the hurt, break that trauma bond and you will feel like yourself again and a stronger version as well trust me it gets a whole lot better! Consider yourself lucky to have fallen on these videos like I was a lot of people don't get this opportunity. One love everyone! ❤️
Thank you for sharing this insight 😌😇🙏🙌💯
Absolutely right Andrew. Yes I've blocked all contacts this year and moving on stronger than ever.
It's taken time but the knowledge and wisdom I've gained through it all and coming across you Andrew on this channel is a blessing.
Now after all these years I've noticed a brother that's a narc . And that's been a breakthrough to get him out of mine and my mother's life to whom and care for do much .
As the days are going by mam and I are feeling much better , energy on the up and happier and stronger. And I am grateful. Thank you Andrew and God bless your family. ❤❤❤
Welcome 😇🙏💯😊
Like No 445. But yeah, the truth is that the truth isn't in the narcissist. Not an honest bone in their collective bodies.
I am 3 days out in my own home!!!!!!
@ESSIEMARIE1998 look how comfy and peaceful my temporary throw together bedroom feels while I unpack the rest
Poo I forgot I can't send a pic
Yeaaaah!👏
All this resonates oh they 💯 will do everything to draw you back in 🙏💕 love the location 🌳the sounds of the cicadas
@coral8313. Hi Coral. Hope you're doing well..🙏💕💕👍
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@@jannlewandowski5540 hi there I’m great just kicked started my morning with a walk ready for the day ahead time to eat trust all is going great with you 🙏🌺🌸
Thank you Andrew.. this was a very useful video to watch.. especially today.. I’ve experienced being hoovered/drawn back in.. not just this year but even in the past without knowing it.. this year I knew it and was still drawn back in.. but I’m working on myself.. and I’m still trying to progress into the best path forward..someone else commented here that they lost most of their life because of the narc.. and I can really relate.. I feel I lost the best years because of him.. the years when I could have been doing other things like travel or working abroad etc.. yet those opportunities are limited now..but nonetheless.. my goal is to move forward and I’m trying hard to survive while in it.. and move on and forward sooner rather than later.. thank you.. this was a very informative and helpful video.
Welcome 🙌😌💯
Great video Andrew!
Wishing everyone clarity and peace..
Months after I left the relationship, the narc had a heart attack. I visited them. I drove them to some medical procedures and rehab. I was encouraging. No Contact was broken.
Just be sure not to change teams.
hi andrew love the location you are an adventurous man love that about you hope you will see the dogs soon ❤🥰🥹
Thank you for another reminder of their insidious abuse. My ex emptied our bank accounts and now I understand it was to get me to go back to him. My daughter says, “ Dad really misses you.”, so he using her as a flying monkey. They are now living together because she needs his financial support and I don’t talk to her as much now because I know he doing this to get me back. I am too strong and would not go back no matter what. Love your work and you Andrew ❤
Wow I am really confused and once again feeling like I am the narcissist. The person that I met really didn’t have a lot of money but worked. I would send grocery’s and things to him because I could. I didn’t know it was to trap him I thought It was a nice thing to do and I truly loved him.
Sending groceries doesn't equate to trying to trap someone.
Introspection sends many down the "Was I a Narc when I acted like that during that period of time?" I do that once in a while and maybe I was. I think it was Narc-ish traits, etc., but big diff
from a "dyed in the wool" Narc who can't even introspect.
@@jhavajoe3792 thank you!
No you wasnt. Was he pouring back into you even time or emotionally even if he didnt have money or even getting a dollar tree card and writing something nice as appreciation...prob not. You prob was doing all the work in the relationship and all the thoughtful things. He also could have said things about not having any money because he knew you wld try and help as best you could...manipulation
@@tiamarie1226 thank you!
You can’t get time back… that’s the biggest regret of constantly going back.
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Beautiful background. Thanks
Healing is coming
Just takes time ❤
They are hit men very well said
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Bless you for bringing such clarity. Thank you. I’m so sorry for your pain, but grateful you have alchemized it in order to benefit our collective growth and healing. Bravo!! 🔥🔥🔥
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Good stuff. Thank you Andrew.
Welcome 😌💯🙌
Thank you Andrew. Everything you said is exactly the case. We were through hell and back and we deserve better. Reaching the mountain top of indifference and healing our childhood wounds are key.
Welcome 🙌💯😌
Yes 200% truth I lost 21 years years I cannot make up don't forget trust for the next person
Well Andrew i must honestly say that my ex narc have not tried to draw me back in and that is a good thing. I got a few hoovers from him because in his sick mind he was certain that we could stay friends. 🤨 with a friend like that i don't need an enemy right? This life experience has changed the way i see people completely. Now i look for coherence. "What words conceal the face reveals" and i take the time i need to figure out if that person is a good person before accepting a friendship. This is the new me and i am on my way to a better quality of life due to this experience. Have a great evening Andrew ❤😊
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 😇👋💜💜💜
So One discarded me at the beginning of the year. I moved on only to have a friend I have known for a long time show up. This lasted exactly 1 month and 26 days. In that time I was gas lit, assaulted physically/sexually, triangulated and projected upon. Clearly I need to live like the girl in a bubble. I am offically done. 2023 Wins Flawless Victory
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Amen!!!!!! Thank u!!!
These narcs are so predictable and RIDICULOUS 😂😂😂😂
The only picture I can visualize me with the narcissist is the visual of what hell looks like 🤪
My aunt is always claiming illness! She has been such a horrible person all her life and this is a clear ploy for sympathy. It's her way of forcing people to be there for her.
You are the best speaker and information channel on this subject! Thank you for your wisdom a thousand times over!
Welcome 😌🙌🙏
He shattered his leg. I was loving, supportive.
I had surgery. Crickets!
I cried when I woke up from the anesthesia.
I was alone.
Thank you, I really needed this video 💕.
Recently the narc (ex co-writer) showed up on my new account, liking my story. Since then I have anxiety and even had a nightmare about them yesterday. They didn't even need to text me to make me feel paranoid. The story they liked hasn't been doing well recently, so I think they just want to lure me back slowly by showing me that my work isn't good enough without their promotion or advice. Or they try to prepare me for some kind of interaction, in which they'll bring up what they did for me again. Either way, it scares me a bit. I shouldn't be afraid of another person like that... Maybe I really should block them on that account too and look for professional help...
Hi , thank you ,, I keep in mind never to be tricked again by the same leporid is a big thing to know , never forget the depth of their mask .
@BarbWiest. When the mask comes off, ugh! They are ugly! 👍💕🌷🌞
yep! so many needs! but when i have needs? when i have needs i'm made to feel helpless incapable stupid lying and a terrible person ... not anymore tho my ex and his lot can call on each other now! no good times to be had, no laughter, no fun no sleep no time out, no peace it's impossible to keep up i cant do it! it is litterally exhausting and consuming and neglectful they're like a massive mindless broken machine that never ever stops machines cant hear people they cant feel people they cant be quiet ever. thankyou Andrew for the daily reminder! namaste xx
Welcome 🙌🙏😌
Thank you Andrew for keeping us in check 🙏
Welcome 😌🙌😊
Please….
The only Gift that my Narcy so called Partner gave me was Dinner, take away or at a pub where he is gambling and wants a free drive home.
Scratchies for a couple of remembered birthday Le and that is it.
I understand now that he only ever wanted me was for my money, cleaning, driving and all of my belongings.
He pretended that I was his Number 1 supply but never was as he had his Number 1,2,3 and 4 supplies in the background.😢😢😢😢😢
He hit it right on..that is exactly what they do. I unfortunately had to block my ex because he's a narcissist.
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New location is stunning Andrew! Thank you for your dose of positivity everyday ❤
That is so true Andrew all the time now they turned the charm and then maybe means selfish I mean to throw things in your face and just call you disgusting are you piece of crap I means a lot of stuff narcissist people with this is what they do and specially the closest ones with you know how they do it that's why I don't want to be by when I think it's time to shut down and shut the door don't open that door again thank you so much for this video Andrew I appreciate it
Welcome 😌🙌🙏
That tree behind you looks like the one in the Wizard of Oz
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Sick even once.