A CLUTTERED LIFE: Middle-Class Abundance
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ต.ค. 2013
- Follow a team of UCLA anthropologists as they venture into the stuffed-to-capacity homes of dual income, middle-class American families in order to truly understand the food, toys, and clutter that fill them. [11/2013] [Show ID: 25712]
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A Cluttered Life: Middle-Class Abundance
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#hoarding #clutter #middleclassfamily #toys #anthropology
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an elderly woman once told me, "my mother-in-law said she spent the first half of her life collecting everything, and spent the last 1/2 of her life getting rid of it."
What's sad is if they don't get rid of it and die, the family left behind basically just ignores it - so all the memories tied in to things actually good are lost in the 'crap'. Such a sad state we've fallen into.
@@museluvr the simple solution is don't create any memory. Live in the moment and let go. People just want to get attached with everything and carry that burden on their shoulders as well as in their heads.
ha ha ha ha ha ha
😮😢Too true.
@@infinitebeing1119Simple, maybe, but not easy. We humans, as a group, lean in to attachment. "Sentimental" things, religious icons, historical items - all provide a touchstone for community. I wonder if the greater disservice is that the family "group" no longer has the stories of great grandmother's doll, grandfather's clock, or the handmade table that your great uncle made in Woodshop to hold them together. Now it's just disposible things from a disjointed culture. 🙁
He who buys what he doesn't need, steals from himself.
Best quote I’ve read in years. So true.
Technically + etiquette wise - it's best to give a citation [use quotation marks + source]. Otherwise , it's kinda lame to just claim a saying as your own.
*Swedish Proverb. There is no known source.
thanks, Loui Petters, this is one of the best quotes I have heard in many, many months, and I collect quotes, I already sent to family...........wow, might do this in calligraphy ........wonder who said it first? wow, thanks again. !!!!
@@@smallstudiodesign --- I am so happy that Loui Peters gave us this thought..........so much for your etiquette stuff...............I have one for you.......sorry friend, but "Sometimes Good is good enough"
From a European perspective, this looks like a pure urban design consequence. Where I live, I can get most of what I need in 15 minutes from the nearest small store. Then I have a larger store in 10 minutes walk. The school is a block away. There's no need to optimize and stockpile. A lot of people, me included, do not have cars and have little use for them. In US, the suburban concept intuitively feels as freedom - going wherever you need by car which anyone has, living in a vast space. But in fact that urban design turns up a huge burden, chore and time sink for everyday life working class leads - work, school, store. Life looks better by its abundance - larger houses, lawns - but does it feel better when you are paying for that in dealing with commute and stockpiles in hours of boring hassle, day in and day out?
I sought out one of the walkable neighborhoods in the US (and we don't have a ton tbh) and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Urban and suburban design fundamentally shape how we spend our time. I want to be able to get what I need in a 10-15 minute walk but when I talk to people who ask about how I live without a car and walk everywhere they seem flabbergasted and never considered anything but having 2 cars and driving everywhere.
The default suburban way of life needs to be questioned. You could absolutely create town center sorts of areas if you changed zoning in those suburban areas. Current zoning in many cities prevents mingling commercial/retail space with residential space.
So underrated.
Shhhh,,,, don't wake the brainwashed lest they go berserk...
As soon as the food portion came up, I thought the same thing. Like families only need to make a big thing out of going grocery shopping cause there isn't a store within walking distance. You have to coordinate school pickup schedules cause the kids can't walk or cycle themselves to and from events. It definitely may feel like freedom at first, but you realize the consumer prison that it is the longer you look at it.
As an American who got to work for a few months in Germany in the city center of Munich, I was thinking the exact same thing. So your comment was extremely cool see
In my experience, the "middle class" in the US can often be teetering on the edge of poverty. I think, aside from all the other causes, knowing that resources are tight keeps people afraid of getting rid of things, just in case they will need it someday. And to me there seems to be a deep loneliness that people are trying to fill by shopping and filling up their spaces with clutter, not unlike people who gorge themselves in order the satiate an emotional hunger.
Yes more middle class are just one or two paychecks away from eviction/foreclosure… sad
OMG… well said! I agree, so true.
Well said
I’m guessing that’s people who live above their means. I’m middle middle class and mostly everyone I know. We all pay our bills and have put aside retirement savings, emergency savings, etc, savings to help for children’s college. I guess it’s a case of the company we keep. Most of my co-workers as well do the same. I know upper middle class people that have more expensive residences and less in their savings.
Your understanding of this issue is correct.
“A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” ― George Carlin
I love this quote.
I don't get more stuff
A home is where you can relax and shut the door from people.
Home is where your loving peeps are
@@christinequinn5355 George Carlin nailed it on so many things!
anything I don't use anymore...goes to Goodwill. keeping stuff in the house is just taking up space that you can use.
One Christmas, when my kids were little, I watched them open their Christmas presents. Like so many people I felt a lot of pride in giving them a lot of presents and what I thought was joy. But as I watched, I noticed that while they were excited to open their gifts, after they opened them they would often play with ONE toy only. I watched them closely. In some cases, they never touched the other toys again. It was instructive and it took some time for me to convince my husband but after that, we would ask them what is the one thing they wanted and give them just that one gift. They never knew the difference.
I never received but ONE present for Xmas or birthday. You appreciated what you got and took care of it.
Cheap
That’s usually how it is in many others western countries… Kids get one Christmas gift.
A long time ago, I came to the conclusion (after watching my niephlings receive way too much stuff) that it made the most sense to instill a sense of simplicity and charity in my own (still hypothetical) kids early on, so I figured that once they were old enough to discuss things (say, 4 years old), we'd discuss ahead of time that they were going to choose a couple of items to play with right away, a couple of items to put into storage and play with later, and a couple items to give away to kids who don't have as much as we do. That way, even if their extended family gave them a lot of things, we could avoid the excess clutter in a useful way, and keep them mindful about their own sense of enjoyment, and avoid the "I have so many things that I'm bored" overload effect.
My parents gave us big bags full of presents, toys and candy, basically stuff to make it seem big and one or two considerate thing. But at some age (like 15) they just stopped and now you get one or two unimaginative gadgets. I suppose they felt like it was a childish tradition but i really miss it. Dad asks me what i want, i say 'just a lot of simple stuff, jelly and soda would be nice' and then i'll get one more pair of headphones. I would ask him about it and he would say that I wasn't clear on what i want.
I had to clear out my mother and grandmother's home. Both had a lot of clutter. They passed 19 months apart, so on top of the grieving, I was overwhelmed and angry. I swore I would never do that to my kids and have been downsizing since.
Are you serious? What, your mother and grandmother weren't allowed to have their own lives just because YOU have to deal with their stuff after they died? Jesus, talk about a selfish child. They didn't do anything to YOU. They lived their lives, and guess what? Mom wasn't just your mom - she was a woman with her own identity and desires. Getting all pissy because she didn't anticipate The Awful Inconvenience to her spoilt brat kid after she died only shows how self-absorbed you are. GROW UP. No matter how "decluttered" you manage to force yourself to be, YOUR kids are going to have to deal with YOUR stuff too. Hopefully they won't be as whiny as you.
Yeah dude get rid of everything you own and make sure you leave no family heirlooms for future generations! Good on you man!!
@@Zephlos Clutter =/= family heirlooms. No one is going to remember you fondly while looking at a $2 plastic cookingware you've never actually used.
I cleaned out my grandad's old shed and it was so great to spend all day seeing all of the junk he collected. Ultimately I knew I had to treat it like what it was and it really was just junk at the end of the day. But it was a fascinating experience for me.
It's such a waste of time, money, emotions etc. My parents are long divorced and each has a house full of stuff that will need to be disposed of when they pass away. I will likely be the one stuck doing most of the work with my dad's house and certainly my fair share with my mum's.
The toy issue is so tough. My wife and I are constantly having to tell grandparents our kids don't need more cheap plastic toys (I don't me literally cheap, but just toys that end up being junk in a couple months). It's a constant struggle and it's exhausting having to constantly deal with questions about what the kids want for birthday/Christmas. And our parents don't even buy that much compared to the stories I hear from friends. After several discussions about this with our parents they are trying to resist the impulse of buying things for the grandkids simply because they can. My inlaws have started giving experiences instead of physical items. Day trips or overnighters to local places. It's still a constant battle, but getting our 'village' on board really has helped.
The gift battle is definitely a tough one. For many people, "giving" is their love language and its often easiest for them to see their love in something physical. I started trying as a teen to ask for gift cards, not to reduce clutter, but so I could go try on things rather than people try to guess and send me things I couldn't use or fit. I'm still working on it with my parents, and I've made some progress, but my mom gets a kick out of full stockings and seeing big pile under the tree. Or society tries to sell people the idea that giving lots of items (especially if you got a great deal on it) is the best way to show you love someone, when in reality you could be hurting them with it.
This issue is history now for me but it's a difficult one for many to solve.
We lived overseas, well away from families so the never ending deluge of gifts never really happened.
What I can remember though is separating loved items into multiple boxes. Each of these would be available for several days & then be replaced by a 'fresh' box of toys maybe not seen for a few weeks.
All contents were labelled & it required a bit of work sometimes updating/ adding recently acquired things but seemed to work a treat for both the older ones over the years & helped me keep a little sanity.
I had this problem. It’ll drop waaay off when they get just a little bit older. By the time my kids were around 8 they were only interested in legos, cars, and nerf. I don’t have girls so I don’t know how much worse it is there. But I do know it just all of a sudden stopped one year. And I sold everything they grew out of playing with each year they outgrew it. Of course I don’t know your in laws but have hope. It will get better. But we had to have those conversations too. We told grandma to keep a lot of it at her house and then she couldn’t believe how fast her Florida room became a play room! Have hope!
Dude the toys, I have barely anything and like it that way but have 100 toys for the children bought by grandparents, aunts and uncles.
My great uncle used to give us silver dollars. They were magical to us kids.
As a single older man running a business the COVID crisis hit and I was forced to stay in my home. 20 years of clutter and filth in house and garage. It took 6 weeks to sort out. The master bedroom became the most spartan and uncluttered looking more like a hotel room or nice AirBnB. A peacefulness settled into me as priorities became clearer and practical applications of creativity took wing. I don't think I'm alone in this. I think a lot of us 'woke up'. Thanks for the informative video from Alabama.
watching during the covid craziness too. i am married with a 4 month old and we are sharing a space with ppl who are like beginning hoarders, we are moving into a small condo in a few weeks and are trying to simplify what we have. it really does allow you to breathe more easily not being surrounded by so much stuff.
What an awesome comment and thank you for sharing your experience during this difficult of times. I hope everything is going well for you. Usually single men are the first to get hit by unemployment, next are single women, and so fort. Anyways I wish the best for all during these crazy times. Much peace from South Florida. 😎👍🙏
I too have FINALLY been able to start and complete tasks I'd intended to do and let over 10 years go by without starting. Feels great. From here on out I intend to intend less. {:-)
Wish my wife would have an epiphany and clean her clutter (clothes and shoes) from all 3 bedrooms!! The house is a giant mess thanks to her clutter!! I would be a minimalist if I were a single...except for my tools.
javarithms We all have our vices. But each of us have to have our epiphany. Hopefully she will have hers soon. Good luck to you both.
Instead of giving gifts as objects give experiences as gifts. An outing, a show, a night out etc. Memories and life experiences are worth more to someone
No I like to give gifts and receive
Nobody likes to do that thought because that requires thought and time. A gift they can swipe off any store shelf quickly. I hate gifts without thought
I think either as long as its thoughtful.
Yes! I would love this. Be my friend? lol, It’s just that gifts are easier, although I repeatedly ask for experiences. I’m hopeful; one day..
You’re so right. Especially in the US, we’ve become a nation of over-consumption. The best gifts are often those that family and friends know are what touches our hearts and many times that costs little or nothing. Random acts of kindness are priceless.
I love how compassionate, understanding, and non-judgemental these reaearchers were. They spoke about these families and homes with great respect.
Exactly the same in the UK home.
They are social scientist and most Anthropologists (Ethnographers) study culture and humanity, they are humanist and generally love , if not like humanity.
Of course they're judgmental. Everyone is judgmental, whether or not they admit it. The fact that the researchers chose these specific families to illustrate their thesis means that they judged the families to be appropriate subjects to study.
@@HOLLASOUNDS Yes, the researchers claim that this is a characteristic exclusive to America, but it isn't true. I think it's a matter of how much space is available to people. Japanese and Korean households are just as cluttered as those in America -- sometimes, much more so -- but they don't have as much space to spread the clutter around. In many non-American cities, people rent off-site storage space to keep their extra belongings.
it is called being professional.....after all they do want to sell a book. I bet, when the cameras are off and the doors are close all of this sounds a whole lot different because people are people are people and we cannot help but judge others. it in our nature.
I have decluttered incredibly much over the past few years. Not once have I regretted giving something away. People often comment on how cosy yet minimalistic my flat is because I think we all intuitively realise that a clear space equals a clear mind. The less I have to tidy and take care of stuff, the more I can take care of myself and loved ones. I've also become virtually immune to ads - once you realise that you treat yourself to things because you're tired or insecure or hate working so much, you gradually learn how to question that behaviour and substitute it with much more fulfilling things (e.g. go outside, cook a nice meal, go to a memorable event, create something with your own hands) which will also save you a lot of money and help you create a life that you don't have to escape from or try to upgrade through consumerism
Flat?
@RetroMario apartment
So true 👍🏻
Create SOMETHING with your own hands....and GIVE it away...because, clutter? This was part of my point....I'm an artist. I create. I'm a performing musician. I play 10 instruments...HOW do I produce wood products, or handcrafted items...paintings, sculptures, or ?? Let's say you do beading...Do you know how much STUFF you need to do beading? Wire, beads, clasps...
@@lowellirish Minimalism and conscious consumption isn't about owning nothing. If it's genuinely useful and/or makes you happy, it's fine to keep or acquire. I draw, paint and sew, so I have a couple of small drawers for utensils and a box of fabrics. What's important is to not start a hobby by buying a mountain of stuff before even knowing whether you'll be using any of it. If you let it grow organically and purposefully, regularly take stock and if necessary give things away, you should be fine :)
I was an art collector and designer for years. My own home was packed. One day I read an article about Swedish death cleaning. I sold almost everything within 6 months and now live in a studio apartment with way more money and nothing I don't need and use. I'm a lot happier.
This is the third time in a week that I've seen someone reference Swedish death cleaning! I had never even heard of it before, so I'm thinking it's a sign
I wish you could elaborate on how you did it..What books you found helpful. Or was it really just involving only a decision to do it??
@@josephinecunningham5998 you get rid, declutter, tidy up and organise all your stuff so your children don't have to do it when you die. As it happens I live in Sweden and have yet to meet anyone who's done this! It's one of the many international myths about what Swedes do. Like, for example, they do *not* work a four-day week.
Thank you for setting the record straight. I live in Germany and it’s laughable how Americans, who probably never been, say all German food is Bio. Everyone eats healthy & there’s no obesity. Germans do not buy frozen foods. And yes Germans have large freezers in their garages and American size refrigerators in their kitchens. The ones Ive met love these conveniences. The women in the documentary need to travel or travel more.
Were you able to part with your art collection? How did you choose which art to sell and which to keep?
Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. Epictetus.
So true...and this is how one can not drain finances unnecessarily.
Do you know if the translation refers to "wants" in the older sense of "needs" or the more common sense of "desires"?
@@fellowcitizen I would say personally that wants and needs are different. We all have needs and so it's necessary to take, it's taking more than is necessary that we can all fall into and should avoid. Also desiring unnecessary things, but the media's built around making us crave those. Some saying goes, "Ideas should be treated like guests, desires like small children." :)
@@jenniferytbe3327 We all need to Jennifer over something! Not McDonalds for me though, I aren't tempted by any of their offerings no matter what name they give 'em, or how unrealistically delicious and lush they make 'em look on the adverts. I know they're all dead animal on cheap white bread dressed up as something special! (in my opinion of course! :) )
Damn Maggie you nailed it. I mean, I am a shopaholic too. This is a serious addiction. I shop so much even if I don't need it. I am afraid of not having it or needing it one day and can't afford it. I have boxes and boxes of things. I say, when I read your comment, you made me cry. you touched. I need help and I never like asking people for help. God has blessed me with the ability to buy and God knows I take advantage of it. I buy things for others. I buy good stuff so I think. But, I am not rich I am feeling depressed inside. I have many wants. Thanks, Maggie!! you nailed it.
Almost 10 years later and this is still relevant to people all over the globe. Congratulations!
Makes me wonder how much our frequenting shopping centers (and subsequently over-buying) is also due to lack of public spaces/plazas for families. I know my family will go to Target just because there's not much else to do. Buying becomes the activity.
I think a lot of people use shopping to escape from the anxiety of their messy homes..but it ends up contributing to the mess..and the anxiety.
@@TheCoregon Oh, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I guess I'm just thinking about how our limited environments contribute to this anxiety. Family friendly (free or inexpensive) public spaces for community gathering/entertainment is very limited. Therefore we are relegated to these private spaces that offer cheap goods.
Some suggestions:
If you go to the store to buy some
arts and crafts for redecorating a room.
A scenic drive while listening to an audiobook with snacks from
Dollar Tree.
A drive to local points of interest.
On a hot day if you can afford it
rent a room to hang out and swim.
A museum or a loving museum.
Yep. Shopping is a form of entertainment. What poeple need to understand is that it can be BAD entertainment. Gambling has also become endemic in our population. It distresses me how gambling on baseball games has become "a thing"; pushed endlessly on tv during baseball games. Yes, it is entertainment, no doubt, but it is BAD entertainment!
Absolutely true!!!!!! Or to go for the free AC. Walmart is sorta like that for me these days. So true and so sad.
My mother was a hoarder, I became one as well. When my mother passed, I was overwhelmed with what I would keep of my mother’s and what to get rid of. This made me realized that I didn’t want my children to deal with my stuff. It took me awhile, but I started to purge my stuff. It’s like a weight was lifted off me. Less for me to clean, less to organize. It starts in your mind. I feel better now.
me too, still have to deal with my mothers stuff, junk...
That's the stage I'm at now. I wish I could just plunge in and do it non-stop, but I have to deal one box at a time.
my mom is like that too and my step dad, but my mom especially. there are certain keep sakes i do want to keep.. but we can't even bring much into the condo we are moving into so i have to leave it with her. we lost our house several times growing up and i think that contributed..loosing precious memories or expensive things that she needed, so she ended up having more of a hoarding tendency.
I definitely don't want my children to go through all of my junk, this is a big reason why I am wanting to minimize
I’m currently dealing with this myself, with things that belonged to both my parents, my grandparents, and even some things that were my great-grandparents! It gets quite depressing at times, and maddening! I’m doing my best to deal with it all, and it’s made me feel desperate to live a minimalistic life from here on out!
nobody is commenting about this great documentary and shares their own stories instead. So I'll say that I appreciated it. thank you for your work!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Agree...great documentary. Really interesting.
True. But, I think the commentaries/stories show just how relatable this subject is.
I am an ethnoarchaeologist and I was surprised by this video. And yet, I have collections of family albums, documents and even books in my library. People have always collected some junk but today's consumerist society has led to clutter and anxiety.
@Sponge Bob I watched it all the way through as a fun activity of choice during my vacation on the day of Christmas eve... so its not boring just not your thing. Maybe its because I am an anthropologist myself but I thoroughly enjoyed this.
My mother is 82. She said you spend the first half of your life getting stuff, you spend the second half of your life getting rid of it.
We downsized 5 years ago getting rid of 90% of our possessions. It had taken 2 years to achieve this. Even then we stupidly paid for a year’s worth of storage after moving, after 12 months we couldn’t recall what was in the boxes so got rid of those things too saving £180 a month! We’d wasted £2000 in a year storing stuff. We now have a ‘one in one out’ policy. Anything we buy has to replace an item which we place by the front door to await taking to the Charity shop. It works very well.
But you have no reserve emergency stash. Your relying on replacement food items always being available. What about supply chain issues
@@improvisedsurvival5967
You are right about that.
Especially if you live in an
area prone to srorms.
Several years ago after getting tired of having junk in my house and accumulating stuff oh, I had a serious conversation with my husband. I said honey I want to retire at the age of 55 I've worked hard all my life we have had many luxuries, we have traveled, we've eaten in the best restaurants, Etc I am tired of junk. I am tired of working hard. I need a break. So what did we do? We sold everything we owned. We sold our house. We sold our furniture. We sold our cars. We sold as many things as we could. Today I live in Sunny Puerto Rico in a mountainous region. And don't owe anybody anything. Oh I bought a nice little house. My husband recently died. And I am not indebted. We need to learn to live without so much junk in our lives. That way your heart can have room to think about the things that are more important and have the things that are more important. Like love, peace, harmony especially having God in our hearts is important.
Rebecca Gutierrez
My husband and I did the same thing in 2018 and retired to a small Caribbean island in Belize. We now live in one of the safest and most economical places on earth. When the virus hit we were very grateful for the early move. Be well!
How beautifully said in your words
Great job. I like it.
this is the most inspiring thing I've read in a long time. Do you blog or tweet or share your story in full?
Bravo! This is what every fiber in my being longs for.
I noticed kids with lots of toys are easily bored. Whereas kids with little to no toys at all were more imaginative, and are generally happier.
No seriously. I’m only 21 but I grew up poor. I never got bored. I would play with my few stuffed animals. I would make tea parties or go on “adventures” with them. My brother grew up with so many toys and electric yet he’s “bored.”
My neighbor's kid is obsessed with buying new toys. They demanded their parents to buy them new toys every single day. The toys are piled up in huge plastic boxes. That's more than enough toy to play all day. I think the kid is more excited to get new toys in the store than actually playing with it.
The kid is only 2 years old :/
A rule: 5 of your most precious toys. Only. All those stuffed toys, many of them cheap crap, are not healthy.
I agree, kids with less toys are more Creative.
@@tailgatecarpenter26 the same runs true to young delivery crew who always gets lost even with complete address and blamed you for not being there 😠😤😠
This is why I started doing an architectural degree , because I could not understand the way houses have been designed over the centuries. When I became a stay at home mum the regular house design didn’t flow or work, the kitchen was always the smallest room in the house. The laundry was not near the kitchen, there wasn’t a bathroom close by often, areas for the children to play next to the kitchen weren’t there, etc. etc. I’m guessing or it is true that most architects have been men who have not spent time at home with children for any real length of time. I think that the home can make or break a family, especially a very busy family the house needs to work properly for that family. Hopefully in the future it will be normal to have a different design of house that suits family life better and the first thing that needs to change is making the kitchen the largest part of the house with multiple stations, in the kitchen, near the kitchen or beside the kitchen.
You must be obese.
You're so right!!!!!!! One of my peeves is how men design kitchens but women work in them. Cupboards too high and counters too high for short women, and we have to wash dishes in a sink with NO direct overhead light. SMH.
I agree it's been the DESIGN of homes that's the problem.
I think the open kitchen/dining/living room concept gets it right for function. To me, the kitchen DOESN'T need to be bigger, just laid out against one wall and with ALL DRAWER cabinets at the bottom.
I think vertical space needs to be used MORE. Items less-used can be stored on higher shelves.
Laundry room should be near bedrooms, NOT the kitchen.
CLOSETS need to have doors that allow full-access to the space, meaning floor-to-ceiling doors that open from end to end.
The number of bathrooms need to equal or exceed by one, the number of bedrooms.
Bedrooms need to be large enough to move around in, not closet-sized.
An important thing to remember though is how rooms used to function when they were built vs. now. They haven't always functioned the same way they do now, nor was there as much stuff. Newer American homes have large kitchens because they now house far more stuff (especially food and small appliances) that 50 years ago people didn't have. 100 years ago, people didn't spend time in the kitchen - it was for cooking only. In Europe and other countries, they don't prioritize large kitchens like we do because they generally have less stuff and food shop more often, requiring less storage. Bedrooms were far smaller because all you did in them was sleep - you didn't have loads of toys, sitting areas, or massive wardrobes. Especially in homes that the family had wealth, kitchens and laundry were more often used by staff and not meant to be seen by visitors (or owners), hence why they often had 2nd staircases in the back of the house. Culturally, children were not a major part of design because they didn't have nearly the volume of stuff they do now, and little ones would've either been with a nanny or in the same room as you.
One of my mum's uncle back in the 80s (if i remember correctly) designed his home with a huge kitchen, they used to host a lot of people, especially family, keep in mind that i am talking about south asian family, and when we usually visit other family memebers we usually cook together or help the hosts out in the kitchen especially ladies and kids would gather in and around kitchen area most of the times, although overtime these huge family gathering things isnt as common anymore, but my mum still loves larger kitchen we have a lot stuff we need to store😆
Edit: hosts*
A friend of mine had to move and downsize drastically. She tried an experiment where she had only the barest minimum number of objects that she needed. It was an eye opener. I think she had less than 30 things, not counting food and minimal clothing. That is counting bed linens, kitchen items, a towel and toothbrush, etc. it is amazing how little we really “need.” The average home has thousands upon thousands of items.
There’s nothing like knowing you’re going to have to pack everything up, load it all up in an U-Haul, drive it to the new house, unload everything, then find a new home for everything to light that de-cluttering spark lol
30 items is overboard
❤🎉 yessss--- Earlier this year (I that mom overwhelmed by all the clutter) I realized I desperately needed a personal vacation. ☆☆☆ THEN I realized, I wouldn't come home from it and if I did, I'd probably rather unalive myself. ☆☆☆ So, after trying to declutter, (it deeply upset my partner) I went on sabbatical (strike.) He moved out, left all the shit behind. Now I'm gutting the place and moving into a studio with the bare minimum. So excited!!! Traveling taught me a lot about how less is more. Now I will be on permanent vacation 😎 🙌
I like how this documentary acknowledges contributing factors to the clutter problem. It’s not an individual problem. It’s clearly a cultural issue. Five stars ⭐️
I didn’t know this until I decided to marry an American man…. I’m Mexican and we do not keep a lot of things or buy a lot because there’s not enough money like there is here to just keep buying more and more stuff. I’m finding myself very stressed a lot of the times because I see stuff EVERYWHERE, stuff that is not mine. And a new package every two or three days that’s isn’t mine either… I see the clutter and it brings so much stress to my life because i didn’t grow up like that and this for him is clearly something normal…. I see it in his parents. I don’t know what to do and how to get him out of the consumerism mentality.
Yeah, it always feels better to blame society and culture and the times we live..... than to take personal responsibility and act consciously.
@@Redmenace96 you've got it backwards. This is showing how acts of the families contribute to the creation and building OF the culture.
@@ShirleyYooGeste Your right!! I have it completely reversed! How stupid of me to think that people who are not in control of their actions and feel overwhelmed, are liable to blame everyone but themselves. Sorry about that. I'll start reversing my thoughts right away.
@@Redmenace96 anything that sets you into a fact based reality is good. Best of luck!
The tragedy is that all that money, instead of going into the purchase of worthless junk, could be invested in their family's future. So very sad.
Yep, I see so many co-workers crying broke all the time, yet they eat fast food for lunch everyday and buy cheap crap, simply because it's cheap. But, if they were to track how much they spend a month on that crap, they would see just how much money they're wasting.
RationallyMe anyone with money problems might consider the savings of always preparing own food....
I see the opposite way too much...
Imagine how much stress could be lowered with a paid-off house!
buying stuff we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like
I grew up in the North of Spain but I have lived in London with my English husband for 30 years. It always baffles me that other than the huge TV hit programme The Repair Shop, there are literally no repair shops in the High Street at all in the U.K. In my native Asturias I used to take my good quality shoes to repair and have their soles rechanged several times before having to throw them away. They used to last for years and years, and three or four pairs would have been more than enough for me. I always enjoyed making my own clothes and sewing, mending and recycling clothes. It is a creative exercise to figure out how to make a new outfit out of old ones. My family was middle class, we were definitely not poor, not in the least, but when we were teenagers and we learnt to sew, both my sister and I tried to outdo each other with our inventions, making dresses out of old curtains (like Scarlett O’Hara, ha ha🤣), and out of blankets, etc. Waste not, want not was a truly useful motto. If your TV or radio, or toaster, umbrella, etc, packed up, you simply took it to be repaired. It is not possible to do that here as there are no businesses to take these things to. It is, as it has been mentioned, a cultural issue. I have counted 26 pairs of shoes in my downstairs cupboard. I probably only used 5-6 out of those. Shame on me
Teresa yo soy de Madrid y vivi en Londres a finales de los 80 y todo lo quería, volví a Madrid con un gran maleton de ropa que al final no use , mi madre trajo un montón de trastos también. Ahora estoy en el proceso de regalar casi todo , la sensación de libertad es maravillosa , la tv que tengo es de los 90 como poco ( una vecina no la quería ) y no quiero más que lo preciso y poco .PD yo también llevaba los zapatos a reparar y mi madre me hacía los vestidos de niña . Greetings from Madrid 💖💕💕
You're basically telling me how old you are with that narrative. Everything was expensive and made out of metals, wood, leather, bones, and natural fibers right up to the middle of last century, when plastics began to take over. That cheapened the cost of consumer goods, leading to the wasteful disposable pattern you described.
No shame. Glory. Because you can now donate to others as you would have others donate unto you. Not shame. Just Opportunity. Gregg Oreo long Beach Ca Etats Unis
I was brought up in that repair/make do and mend era. Like you, taught all the sewing, knitting, crochet, cooking skills and many more fixi-it skills.
Here's why there are so few repair shops now.....
Several years back I bought a pair of high-end summer shoes, top brand, good quality, would last for years...or so I thought. Wore them for a summer. Next couple of summers I couldn't wear them due to a foot injury which took time to heal.
Got them out the next summer, wore them to go to the local shops and found I was leaving a trail of the moulded sole behind me!
Took them to a reputable shoe repair shop, where the manager explained that they couldn't be repaired because the moulded sole is actually designed by the manufacturer to disintegrate after 2-3 years. In normal use the wearer would just think that they'd worn out the sole.
We are being scammed every which way. And manufacturers are deliberately fuelling this constant buying - thus clutter and hoarding - culture.
Absolutely, you are right and I got to the same conclusion when we were told that a 5 year old TV from a famous brand could not be repaired! An artificial end timeline is already built-in a lot of the items we buy.
I would DIE if people came into my house and saw all of the crap. This was so interesting and kudos to the families that opened their doors for the sake of research.
At least you know you have a lot of stuff. If you have the courage and will to minimise your possessions, it will transform your life for the better. You will feel more relaxed and liberated. It really works!
About 3 years ago I sold everything and moved into a 24' RV. I now travel and live in National Forests and Bureau of Land Management lands. I never once missed all the crap I gave away or sold.
Good for you! You aren't a slave to stuff anymore!!!
That's pretty cool. How do you support yourself?
Carolyn's RV Life how’s it going with the COVID thing ?
@@fanishojo I was just wondering the same thing. BLMs and campgrounds are closed, seasonal/short-term RV lots can be very pricey.
Heck, I simplified my life..Moved into my SUV, travel everywhere..helping families,..homeschooling, etc..and it's a Much Happier Life for me.. It's Not for everyone. You must have an Income Stream, be Fearless, cautious, perceptive, intuitive, Educated about 'The Matrix/System, healthy, smart and yet emotionally available & open for your families..
I despise the effects of consumerism in my life. I’m always aware of when it’s happening and definitely stressed by it. This is why I’m up at 4:30am decluttering. Lol. Slowly but surely I WILL get this stuff out!
I'm in the same boat! I've become more aware of my hyper consumeristic habits and now I've been spending the last few years trying to undo it. I'm making progress, but honestly I can't wait to be done because this is super stressful.
Good luck on your decluttering journey!! You got this!!
Same. I see how my kids are obsessed with consumerism and electronic devices but so detached from nature. All I want to do is move to the country and live a simple life. We will someday soon.
What are the top 3 things you have decluttered?. I gave away a bag of books- too late to bring 1 back it's ok we can live without that 1 book as we have 200 more.
@spirals 73 I LOVE yard sales. Here in England we call it car boot sales. These are done online these days.
@@1mourningdove54 i moved in with my daughters family and had an estate sale at my former house. That ment getting rid of a lot of "stuff".when i boxed up the stuff that didn't sell i had to wonder why i had all of this stuff in the first place. The second hand stores have made a lot of money of my stuff i didn't need in the first place
Grandparents such as myself, didn't get toys or trinkets all year when we were growing up. It was only Christmas or Birthday that you got gifts. These occasions were such a magical time and opening those presents was such a wonderful experience. What we got lasted us until our next birthday or Christmas. Kids today are given so much stuff throughout the year....Christmas and birthdays have lost the magic!
It is true that this generation did not really stock pile toys. There is other stuff however that older people do have much more of and tend to hold on to, which is probably a sort of compensations for the lack they once experiences: Porcelain, greeting cards, decoration, cups and dishes and whatnot, toys and trinkets from the children and grandchildren. Not to mention the massive wooden furniture and layers of curtains, bedsheets, napkins and tablecloths. At least that's what I'm observing in my work as an organizing coach. I ask a young woman for a glass of water, I get a glass of water. I ask and elderly woman for a glass of water, I get a pretty tray with a pretty coaster on it with and empty glass on it and a tiny porcelain jug with water in it and a cloth napkin next to it. Sure, it's pretty and lovely, but the amount of space required to store all that in 30 variants... (Mind you this might not apply for the US in the same way as I am in europe)
I think a lot of the toy buying is guilt driven because the 2 working parents have little time and energy
Very true! There are also toys at every store and every che k out counter now.
💯
This was very interesting as well as informative. It was nice to not have clutter addressed as hoarding and the families weren't judged.
Hoarding and clutter are two totally different issues.
Hoarding is what happens when cluttering gets out of control and taken to an absolute, beyond reasonable, extreme. It can happen to the people in this video too, if they, for one, develop an irrational attachment to everything tied to their children. And it can happen if in general, the items they're accumulating reminds them about some nostalgic past or "better days" that they long miss and, of course, are never coming back.
If people like the ones in the video are not consciously aware of that possibility, and fail to put themselves in check, then the situation of cluttering could spiral out of control becoming downright hoarding. This is something we should all be careful about. I've even seen "Hoarders on wheels" too. Seriously, no joke!
These hoarders on the go are those are the people you see driving around in a real messy car where trash and personal stuff are clearly visible thoughout the interior. Over time, things can gradually pile up and if we're not alert and attention it can happen to any one of us. We gotta be on top of this stuff taking out whatever trash we have every time we exit the car.
Even with feeling that way about what we ought to do, I try to not be overly judgemental towards those who are truly engaged in hoarding behaviors. I don't know what's going on in their lives. So I actually feel bad for a lot of these people. Many need professional help, even if they don't realize it. Some episodes of A&E's show "Hoarders" were difficult to watch.
Many of these hoarders were elderly living in their house filled with mostly trash and clutter that they treasure as their life meaning that often every bit of it reminded them of their past or of loved ones, some who have longed passed away. With piled up personal items, trash and debris (including smelly rotten food items) going from floor to ceiling throughout the home, some houses seen on "Hoarders" are no longer fit for (safe) Human habitation.
The hoarders always have filth feces animal litter trash and broken things broken plumbing broken ceilings Broken Walls broken Mechanicals it's different than having tons of usable beautiful things
Well...they had all of that footage but decided to edit it all out.
To be honest, I think many of these houses look way over stuffed. It's almost hoarding. I think someone from outside the US might think it was hoarding. I live in the US and I want to move away from having a lot of stuff. I don't want my future to look like this. Hoarding versus very cluttered is just a label.
I am retiring in a foreign country, and I just got rid of 99% of my possessions. I feel completely liberated. Almost every time I threw out something or donated it or gave it away, I felt a sense of shame that I had wasted my money and space on that unnecessary thing - and then the environmental impact of producing all these things! Such a shame. I could have been traveling all these years instead of working just to pay rent or mortgage and buy stuff.
How would you have funded all this travelling you speak of without having to work. Beg for money from people who actually do work?
@@AngelasAdvice - A person in this situation can hire an organization specialist/service. It's a thing!
I left the US with 2 suitcases leaving behind my house, corporate life, everything. Never been so happy!
I am Greatful that we are debt free. MY husband is my financial advisor and accountant- his father taught him amazing life skills including respecting women n children, being faithful. Rest in Peace my dear father in law.
@@cruisepaige wow where did u go
What makes me sad the most, is that this will all end up in landfills polluting our precious planet, just so we fill a void, I think the void is the lack of human touch and contact.
perhaps or lack of purpose in life.
my thoughts exactly :( x
@Angie, is not that. people are brainwashed consumers for a very long time( industrial Revolution)
@@svetlanikolova7673 , this
...or, just a lack of being OK with oneself just as we are and not depending on ANYTHING OR ANYONE external for inner peace....
My mama was a hoarder she was my heart when she passed away in 2005 it broke my heart. I watched her spend her life accumulating things and not enjoying life. That changed me forever I have zero attachment to anything unless it’s a definite need.
The hoarding is a symptom of unresolved mental disorders. There was nothing you could have done to convince her of decluttering. My grandmother was also a hoarder. She was from time to time haveing a session where she moved the clutter from one place in her overcrowded apartment to another. But in reality she never decluttered. When she was ill, we had to declutter and clean her apartment to take better care for her. This made her totaly panic and beeing paranoid
Every time I see a documentary that talks about how infrequently families sit down to eat dinner together it surprises me all over again. Eating together is one thing that is so ingrained in our family, that once, when my kids were much younger, their father had to work too late for us to wait to eat with him, and so the kids and I ate together instead. And at bedtime that night, the kids asked why we never had dinner. Because despite everything else about our dinner being the same as usual, without all of us being there, they didn't even recognize it as "dinner". They saw it as "lunch" because lunch was a meal where it was just us without their dad, who was at work at lunchtime. So they thought we had 2 lunches that day. (Which I guess also had them thinking Mom was acting weird that day, but they were nice enough not to comment on that. ;) )
That’s adorable. I miss family dinners
Same here! I've always had dinner with my family, even if it meant eating several hours later than I might prefer. It's crazy to me that so many people don't eat with their family.
Eating together is the best.
When I was born and raised in the Soviet Union, I would get 1 toy a year. By the age of 7, I had 7 amimal plush toys and 2 dolls. I had the happiest childhood. I spent most of my time running outside and playing imaginary games while my parents worked in a hospital and my grandparents tended to the land. All we ate was organic. We did have central water or heating till I was 6. It was still the happiest childhood.
Westerners have too much junk, we would be happier with less!
Soviet Union? I'm thinking of all those poor children who had to have their toy taken away so you could have seven! you were spoiled!
Tatiana Z You may have been happy but I bet your parents were struggling and unhappy.
I can relate. We were poor, it's not the lack of money hurt me the most but the bickering for it and mentality that you need to have more to be happy. I am born at the beginning of the collapse of soviet union so people's greed took over the reasoning. To this day some of my relatives live in a junkyard with never satisfying appetite. I moved abroad years ago and i see that western Europeans have less stuff but what they really want. People with money will be just as unhappy always spending for more as people with no money not having enough to spend. You are the richest person when you have enough for you! You are at your best and free of the manipulative consumer mentality.
What is central water? Genuine question...
Since I stopped eating processed, canned, and boxed foods (and eat only fresh, whole foods), my pantry and fridge look almost empty. And I like it that way.
Monica Collins mine too!
What about legumes? I've never seen them fresh, ever. I get them dried.
I have found the opposite. I have been eating that way since the 1960s. Fresh produce takes up a ton of space in the fridge. I never have space enough for more than three days. Ialways make a full pot of soup so there are individual serving sizes in the freezer and family sizes. Dried beans in the pantry ,seeds for making sprouts and such.
@@carlawoodrow2677
Mine also.
Kate in Ireland.
Same!
I think the spatial distribution of grocery stores in North America also plays a large role in what and how Americans shop.
What I love most about Americans is being an open book! Bless these people...it's really awesome to have this mirror to reflect into!
Unless we are on FB. Then we show off only the parts of our lives that look good lol. I post a lot of recipes and talk on FB about how I am going to cook them. You would think I am a master chef that cooks amazing creative meals every night. Not. 😄
*BUT I guess my comment confessing I do this makes your point about Americans true! lol!
True
Thanks, everyone likes to bash us, and never take the time to say something they like.
Jealousy is a beautiful thing!
An interesting point never addressed in this video is the amount of time the parents are commuting to where they work. A long commute is killer; it might be part of why people rely on prepared meals rather than cooking from scratch; it might also be why they don’t have enough time to declutter their homes; it might be part of why they’re self-soothing themselves and their kids with endless shopping and the acquisition of yet more stuff.
Yes.
Also, people differ in their EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING abilities.
US is screwed up….no time…work ur life away….
Not to mention the amount of time it takes to commute to the store! If it's 15 minutes away and parking is easy and the lines aren't long, it's no big deal to go there repeatedly during the week. If it's 30 minutes away and crowded during the time you have to shop, you're gonna want to do everything in one trip, because the time of transport and waiting in lines is basically gonna be the same every trip, regardless of how much or little you buy.
Good thought, my husband works at job he really just comes home to sleep. I stay home and make sure everything is done so he can rest. If we both worked like I used to. Laundry stayed in the dryer, never cooked to tired. Cleaning the bare minimum.
@@elizabethrose3667 Women staying home can shop, cook healthful meals, and keep house. Both spouses at work = chaos and stress.
When I was 14, my sister married. In a matter of one year, she and her husband moved 3 times.
I was volunteered to help them move.
For me, this cured any inkling of holding or collecting just about anything.
Every six months, I dutifully go thru my stuff and purge. I live my life as if I have to get up and move out.
Things are simpler for me.
I just stopped buying stuff and have only necessities. I have a clean apartment and take care of myself. Living healthy biking running eating good food. I don't care about things but people.
This is what i’m working toward
My mother and I moved a lot when I was a child, and I adopted the same mentality for a long time. I kept my possessions down to what would fit in a few boxes. But after marrying someone who likes to collect things and having four children that we over-buy for, I slipped into bad habits for a while. But I still faithfully purge every season, at least for my own possessions. It's hard to get the other people in my household on board!
@@melaniebernard3688 it is interesting to hear from people who had to move frequently when they were children. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Same
This was a wake up call for me. I don’t own much, but i am not a minimalist. Some people say that my flat is so empty or that i own so little kitchen tools. It makes one feel guilty for have ng so little. Now i see how free i feel inside. Not empty. Free.
Suedefussy. Congratulations!! I envy you.
! i completely understand how you feel. oftentimes i beat myself up for not wanting mote things, but i know if i buy things i genuinely do not need, i will ultimately feel bad
This is inspiring! Our home is minimalistic yet our master bedroom is where the clutter is at 😅 I have to purge my bedroom. I think growing up poor makes me want to hold on to my things for dear life
Same. It's like if you know you couldn't afford to replace it, you actually *need* to keep what you have. I struggle with this with clothes a lot. There was a time when I was a teen when I didn't actually own any jumpers/hoodies and would just layer multiple tee shirts to keep warm at school. When I was younger I just wore a lot of my parents old jumpers, even though they were huge on me, I liked them! But I couldn't do that as a teen. It's hard to explain that to people these days. That's why I find it hard to let any item of clothing go, even if it might have holes worn in it!
It's five months since you wrote your comment - have you done any purging?
I'm moving in a couple of months so hope to do some purging along the way.
@@MissIncorrigibleOfOz Hey, I stumbled across your comment and would humbly, yet passionately suggest purging prior to your move. It worked wonderfully for me, and I had to move three times in a year and a half. Knowing that everything you own is something you truly want or need makes the experience far less stressful and exciting.
@MissIncorrigibleOfOz I’ve donated about 5 bags full of clothes and miscellaneous items and I’m currently getting other family members involved to do a big yard sale next month to get rid of the rest! I’m very excited and I’ve already been moving stuff into bags/boxes for next month! My room has been looking a lot better thankfully!
Although I don't live like this and never could (it would stress me out!), there is a great deal of overly harsh criticism. These families are not simplistically "greedy," they are a product of a fast-paced, stressful and materialistic world that runs on consumerism.
I agree that people are a product of their environment, but I don't think other commenters implied that the kinds of families featured in this program are "greedy". I think parents are simply trying to provide for their children in the way of goods, food, a nurturing environment, time, and time. Yes I said "time" twice.
With help from Amazon and little kids holding smart phones...
Well said.
Yes, plus living in a space for a long time aides in that as well. And learning how to organize. We sometimes think, if it's out of sight, we're organized and everything is good, but that's simply not true. It's very sad.
Or they grew up in poverty...scarcity..abuse or have mental health issues that went untreated.
I literally felt my chest tighten looking at some of these spaces. Too much “stuff” causes anxiety in me. 😬
Shannon Lueck same here, I grew up in clutter. In my opinion it was clutter. Once I left home at 22, i kept my stuff to a minimum. Only what I needed. Now 31 and continue to do this. I go through my stuff my kids stuff, every room once a month and take out what is not needed.
@@mariamcclish4197 I hope you discuss it with your kids because Ive heard of multiple hoarder stories that started because their parents would discard their items without asking them so when they became adults they would never throw things away
I have to admit that I'm feeling very uncomfortable and anxious watching this too. So much stuff 😱
Shannon Lueck i felt that too🤦🏾♀️🙇🏽♀️
Painful to watch
I think that they didn’t address how poverty contributes and creates this problem. I have a VERY hard time getting rid of things. However it is not from over indulging in shopping. I do not shop because I can’t afford to. Most of my things are things I managed to get for free, and can’t throw away because I can’t afford to replace it when I need it in a couple months.
I was a desperately creative child, I wanted to make things every second of the day but we couldn’t afford supplies. I used to save every piece of clothes that was worn out to use in crafts, which took a while because it had to go through 5 kids before it was officially retired, unless it got a big hole that couldn’t be patched. Every scrap of fabric I could get,went into my tub and I could never throw out anything because if I only have one sleeve of blue left and I throw out that little piece, then I won’t be able to make something the next week that needs blue. The tub is STILL in my moms attic. It came with us over 3 moves.
I used to peel hot glue off of crafts and re melt them to use them again because I could only get a new pack of hot glue at Christmas. I had a little jar I kept the shavings in.
It’s a problem that I still deal with. Not to mention the guilt that throwing things away causes just from the environmental impact. The fact is, I use things until they are absolutely unfixable, and then can’t get myself to get rid of it because that comes with accepting the fact that it is now a waste of a plastic that will take decades to decompose. These are all second hand products that I either got for free because someone else didn’t want to throw it away, or from a charity shop. And now the burden is on me to send it to the dump.
Wow, yes! I think you're doing a good job, as long as you don't get too handicapped by it. I have it very much the same way, and surely it's easier to just buy new when you need it, but on the other hand, finding, re-using or "saving" things makes me more happy than just getting them new, because I think of the damage, ressources, bad working situations etc., and because I might need to get the money by working more in jobs I don't like, and maybe there are some more reasons, like, it's like a gift if you find something, and when I realize how I can reuse something in another way I feel like an inventor and it gives me joy At least there seems to be a new movement now with people upcycling things and such, more and more people are doing it. I just hope you have a good enough way of arranging/organizing your things, because that can be difficult (is for me).
Stop saying that you "can't" get rid of things! You CAN!
It seems like you developed strong emotional attachments to all these scraps in time and they're now a part of your narrative that you will lose if you throw away.
It’s a strange feeling when you move away from this scarcity/hoarding-mindset because you really do trade money and convenience for the environment, and there’s a weird guilt around that.
I throw away and donate things now that I would never dream of parting with when I was younger. But I don’t the have time to feel guilty over it because those minutes could be better spent working to make more money.
Like I’ll get an Uber to work because it means I have 30mins more sleep which means I’ll be more productive in the day. Or I buy Uber eats for lunch (which uses loads of wasteful packaging) because it saves me time cooking/ grocery shopping, so I can spend more time working and making more money.
You can spend hours and days cleaning, restoring, mending things that are almost perfectly usable but just need some love, or you can throw it away and press “buy now”.
But when you realise that wasting hours restoring something to save a few pennies (and the planet) could be time better spent earning money, you inevitably say “f the planet”. I don’t have time to go out of my way to try to minimise the environmental impact of my lifestyle, it’s such an ugly and privileged problem to have.
I’d rather make more money and save more time, but unfortunately “being thrifty” is a poor time investment, no one will ever reward you for recycling or mending your clothes.
It’s heartbreaking when people are in a position where they don’t have the money to be presentable (dress smart, skincare, medication, nutritious food, exercise, etc) and they can’t sell their skills at a job interview level. Some people can’t afford such minimal initial costs and they’re trapped there. There’s only so much you can do with a needle and thread or basic soap.
But once you have a comfortable buffer, the environmental impact of all your choices grows exponentially.
And yet there are people who won’t recycle when the recycling bin is right next to the general waste bin..
@human : “ “being thrifty” is a poor time investment, no one will ever reward you for recycling or mending your clothes”. Unless you really enjoy seeing and then the time spent doing it is its own reward.
I would love to see this study redone today. In that age of amazon, influencers, online shopping, ads taking over everything, physical stores closing, etc
The strange thing is that in the adds there is never any clutter. It`s always clean and minimalistic.
The family that opened their home for this piece, did so much good for anyone watching. For me, this is my house and the houses of many of my friends. It definitely helped me see my house as an outsider would. Ms Repath-Martos is an amazing person for inviting others into her home, she is pretty cool.
I agree! This really think this can't be said enough, how brave and vulnerable it was for them to open their homes like this
You will be appalled at how many silly sentimental decorative objects you have
Yes,she was very brave and a kind,lovely person to brave getting critical remarks from the likes of me. I thought her house was nice. It was like the house I grew up in in England but no stuff as we had no money. Just a pleasant modestly furnished house.
I agree wholeheartedly. I admire their courage, and their ability to recognize how much they can help others by exposing themselves.
There are at least 40 family homes in the pictures, the woman they were speaking to was good yes but it was multiple families :)
I think hoarding or excessive accumulating is linked to depression.. children and people need love and hugs. They try to feel better wi th stuff
I don't think it's the acquiring of stuff that's the sign of the depression it's the disorganization of all the stuff is the depression sign
They try to fill that void/emptiness they feel inside by buying stuff. In which some ppl like to call, "Retail Therapy."
As someone who has done this, for me you are exactly right. I had a failing marriage, no attention from my husband who was in his own world. I got my oxytocin from online shopping. I then realised what i was doing and that "stuff" could never help me. Now i am getting rid of stuff. Feels much better when you realise why you are doing it. Trying to fill a void. Some level of control when you control when you have very little.
Kathryn Ruhl I agree. My mom is a hoarder and so is her sister. It comes from not having your needs reliably met. This toxic feeling of lack causes you to keep things you may need. As we lead more and more isolating lives we buy more stuff to replace the relationships we are missing with our community.
Absolutely.....someone has probably let someone down....
As a professional home cleaner, I’ve been in many homes. Yes, people have way too much stuff AND clothing. Homeowners are frustrated with their clutter but refuse to declutter. Because of this I try to live with a minimalist idea. If I buy a new pair of shoes, an old pair gets donated or thrown out.
Have you noticed that the people with the messiest homes usually dress well and look well put together? It's true!
I too clean houses for a living. Many times people need less cleaning and more organizing.
Too much stuff not enough space for it all.
@@714Tinkerbella Organizing the clutter won`t help. They need to declutter. But most are ignorant that decluttering is even a thing. Their brain is in " hoarding" mode. And when there is alot of chaos around them, they think they need cleaning og organizing. But in reality it is the clutter that created the mess in the first place
Marie kondo would say this is a world wide phenomenon. Plus, most garages are so full you can’t park a car inside
Yes, I’ve noticed this too and it baffles me. In my neighborhood, so many people park their cars outside of the garage, and we live in a Northern climate that gets a lot of snow. After living in an apartment and having to clear snow off my vehicle every day for years, I was so excited to finally have a garage to park in! I would much rather have the sheltered parking space than a bunch of junk that probably rarely gets used anyways.
I know people that have a garage filled with stuff..all over garage floor. They just drive over it to park their car.
"Toys are possessions of the parents as well as the children." That is mind blowing! 😂
That was so true with my mom. I'd be over a toy and she couldn't part with it because she loved it.
I’ve witnessed this a lot with loved ones who have kids- the kids have SO much stuff, because their parents refuse to let go of the things they spent buttloads of money on. 😕
The "child-centric home" concept blew my mind. Certainly wasn't the case when I was a kid.
mmacrini I know, right? I remember discussing this in an Early Childhood Development class. It’s not a good thing, a home and a family needs to be “family-centric”. It deserves to be. 😕
Ashaliyeva Marie this makes me feel so much better for insisting that my kids keep their stuff upstairs in their rooms. One or two stuffies can come downstairs if they’re actively playing with it but then: take it back up you hooligans 😂
I am a woman, and an old one. I worked all of my life. I don't think some people understand how hard it is to manage your home after a long stressful day at work. I believe women working outside the home is part of the cause of this common lifestyle. When I was young, most women were at home all day. They had enough time and energy to truly manage the home. Homes were more sparsely outfitted and most food was home cooked. Now that I am retired, I am paring my possessions down big time. I will still have too much, but my home will be truly functional for the first time in years. By the time it was out of control, I just couldn't do the emotional work of getting everything in order.
I think that housekeeping has been completely neglected during my generation. You have both partners working full time and buying waay too much crap you don't need. Which clutters the house. And doing the household isn't anyones task in particular. Just whoever happens to have some time left.
I realized lately that all the stuff that you have laying around unorganized has a price. Clutter stresses you out and makes you feel like you lost control. And the price is often much higher than the material thing is worth. As a kid my dad drilled into me that i shouldn't throw stuff away. So it took me some time as an adult to flip the switch and finnally get rid of all that crap. It feels much better.
You mean, women should give up our sovereign personhood, our being, our aspiration and settle into one normalised singular hetero lifestyle being excluded from public life? And having no independence? Stuff that. I love my work and my child is 30 and doing her doctorate, having always had a mum who worked. The women leading this study have worked, they don't have these issues. If you can't see the consumer life pressed on Americans by advertising but rather you blame women, you are not interested in solving the problem. If telling a whole group what to do is your solution, you are not democratically minded.
@@lizziebkennedy7505 or a family of two should be paid enough to decide if one of them wants to be a house wife/husband or if they both want to work and hire a maid.
@@lizziebkennedy7505 that's not what i got out of that comment at all, this is a really bad faith interpretation of her comment. the commenter never once said "this is how it should be" or "it would be better if women stayed at home," they were just making the observation that when women entered the workforce, no one has time to tidy the house anymore or cook all of the meals. there was no value statement in pointing that out.
I quit my job recently to be a stay at home wife. I have time to do everything now! The house is immaculate, I cook delicious healthy meals from scratch and far less stressed than I've ever been. It's certainly difficult for two working persons to keep on top of everything and be mentally and physically healthy.
I am Brazilian and live in USA working as a nanny.
Honestly, I wish I could donate at least 70% of kids toys, they don’t even play with most of it and the parents can’t stop buying and stocking new unopened toys boxes in the basement.
It’s a fear of the parents in saying no to their children once in a while.
It’s like they are not being good parents if their kids misses out in something in life.
If they enjoy a little snack, they will order a box with 40 little packages of the snack, just in case their kids wanting it again.
If they start liking Paw Patrol, they will provide all the paw patrols toys available.
It’s not only the family I work for (amazing family, by the way) I have seen so many others doing the same.
Probably the parents feel bad for working so many hours, that unconsciously they want to provide all the time to show love, or maybe American society in general assimilates love with presents and stuff.
They work all the hours, to buy all the junk they don`t need. Only to be depressed from the stress of not beeing mentaly focused at their child. My guess is that in the future this will be looked at as a form of neglect
my house used to be cluttered like this due to living with a hoarder, I found out I was always stressed, annoyed and struggling to sleep and when I analysed it properly I realized it was because of all the mess. Took me a good six month to clean most of the crap out, now most rooms look lovely and clean especially my bedroom which i marvel at everytime I walk into it and I sleep like a baby. Best thing I ever did. Never again will I live in a cluttered house.
I'm amazed that you were able to clear out the hoarders stuff. Many hoarders cannot let go. It can wither a marriage.
@@Ravencall He must have cleared out the hoarder first.
I'm NEVER going back to the clutter life. Never. It was more damaging than I thought and now that I'm out I'm never going back
Well Done Cavalier. This will help you spiritually aswell. Where there is Cleanliness There is Godliness. PEACE
Since this popped up in my recommendations, I am taking this as a sign to organize my crap again. Thank you, Universe.
Same.
Haha same! Exactly what I was thinking. Why is this in my recommendations?! Oh it’s a sign!!
How is it going
Same!
The Universe is nagging me again 😆
I was raised in Canada in the 1950s and 1960s. The word declutter did not exist. We had furniture in our rooms, no garage, no finished basement. That way of life changed as I became an adult in the 1970s and onwards when the homes got bigger, money became more plentiful, society associated material possessions to be a sign of success, marketing of products provided pressure to purchase the next best thing even if you already had a good one already, things became disposable, kids felt peer pressure to have more stuff. Now I have lots of stuff and lots of rooms to accommodate everything without any clutter but your book causes me to have panic attacks when I see how people live. I guess at one time I wanted more, now I just want peace and calm and an organized home.
Aren't the big refrigerators also a consequence of the city planning? If you don't have a store where you could walk to easily and quick you go by car and not so often so you need a bigger refrigerator.
And you throw away A LOT of food that is not eaten. A LOT.
@@cherylperkins7538 yes! it drives me crazy that bulk buy is so difficult in a city. Most items I purchase have "too much" for just two adults to consume (i.e. meat, some veggies only sold in bunches, packs of shelf stable/preserved food.) We end up wasting because I simply can't purchase a smaller quantity.
Bulk buy stores that allow you to just fill a container with nuts, grains, etc. or buy a certain poundage of any cut of meat are so difficult to find, and often the only option in an area making pricing steep. I wonder how much less food waste we would have if we could buy just the portion we need (and not be punished for the smaller portion because often smaller portions cost MORE)
@@bl2023 I love places like Costco but being in a family of 5 Tall people I never considered that families of 2 or 3 don’t get to enjoy the savings in the same way. A store where you can get what you need sounds like an excellent idea, like a bring your own container sort of place, but logistics might be tough especially now. I also hate the fact that smaller packages cost more than buying in bulk, though I understand why that is, when I’ll buy something that only I eat and realize buying in bulk will not actually save me any money. Because is it really saving money if you throw away portions? I did the math and with what ends up throwing out, it’s cheaper to buy the more expensive product 50% of the time.
@@cherylperkins7538 Most food waste, to me, is often the result of poor meal planning. I rarely throw anything out! Which is my goal. I plan meals around what I have that's fresh and needs to be used up (if I have a huge bag of carrots, I work that into a few meals). I make sure to use the salads ASAP, before they begin to wilt. I take inventory before I go shopping, and plan meals around what I already have, and only buy what I need. And if there are leftovers, they are priority for the next day or two over "new" meals. I'd say only 5-10% of our food goes uneaten... By us, anyway; the chickens get the few things that are past their prime (or, the compost bin)!
I know it's got to be different and harder for a single person or a couple, versus a family of 5 like mine, but I do think that intentionally shopping for and preparing planned meals makes all the difference. 😊
@@cherylperkins7538it depends how you utilize food/ plan meals. I live with only me and my husband (2 person household). He actually works in Costco, so we do get things from there, but only select/ strategic items (for example, things that don’t go bad for a long time, like drinks or granola bars). If we get less shelf stable items from there like ground beef, we freeze it until it is needed for a meal. Everything else we get from the regular grocery store. I plan dinners around ingredients that need to be used up more quickly before they go bad. We are also both leftover eaters, so prior nights’ dinners are often our lunches for the next days. We very rarely have to throw out food that went bad. Although I will also say, our fridge is usually NOT filled to the brim and our freezer is very small. The fridge only has longer term staples (like sauces, pickles, etc.), ingredients that will be used up in the next 1-2 weeks, and leftovers from recent dinners. Just because you have the space to store more food, doesn’t mean you have to utilize all of it. Also just to clarify, I am only saying all this to try to help people have hope that it can be done. It’s not easy if you come from a typical consumerist background/ mindset like most of us have, but with some planning and mindset shift it can be done.
I would legitimately have a heart attack if my home looked like these homes. In my own life, I've noticed that when you have a specific decor design for a room, you don't continue to shop because the room is completed. Any new item would clash with the decor design for that room. I've noticed people who don't have a certain look in mind for a room continue to shop for knick nacks for a future design that they haven't settled on or will never execute.
Rachel Stephens That is so so true! Many friends of mine just go for a "general idea" for a room and suddenly every useless piece of decoration will seem fitting and they buy it
Rachel Stephens yes!! Prevents accumulation of crap that you 'might need'
That's called OCD.
You can take it too far when having a specific decor... I remember a specific "Property Brothers" episode where one of the people on the show made their living room a little too nautical. They even incorporated shiplap into the design of the room!
That makes me seasick to think about it. You know what else cuts down on clutter? Moving. Even if you plan to stay where you are, try having a moving preparation day once a year or so.
In my case, I grew up in extreme poverty, so when I started work and had money, I just bought stuff
Understood
When I got divorced I filled two carts with food at store.
I was so afraid I would starve...
That's completely understandable
I’m really curious what family homes look like now/today, especially post-pandemic. Follow up episode?!
I'm assuming worse. Especially the food - we have only become sicker, so I assume more convenience foods.
A lot of people, being stuck in their homes, realized there was an issue and decluttered. Many people also sold their things and stopped getting/receiving as many things because of money issues, so maybe it's gotten better? I know my home has way less stuff in it compared to 2019
It honestly would depend on your experience of the pandemic, many people gained time through lockdowns, wfh and furloughs, so they had the time, and necessity to declutter, to make family meals from scratch and reorganise their home to maintain their families sanity.
On the other hand, essential workers in healthcare, food retail and food manufacturing etc lost time, were working more hours with less resources. Time off only when you caught covid at work, if you’re sick you probably aren’t going to spend that time reorganising the house.
My experience of lockdown was soo different to many of my friends. Before covid I was part time, running an office and food retail outlet, during lockdowns I was full time and overtime, often the only employee in the building or one of a very few between scaled back production runs. While I knew people who Marie Kondo’d and made sour dough starters, I also knew nurses coming home exhausted to homeschool their kids.
So I’d hazard a guess that for some people it’s better, and for some people it’s much worse.
I decluttered like crazy and have kept with that. I also stopped going to stores for a while, and realized I didn't really need to buy much clothing, except for the basics... I 'shop my closet' now...
I definitely started hoarding food. IT's a problem. I'm trying to stop.
As a child, I remember my Pastor saying "We buy things we don't need to impress people we don't even like." Food for thought...
I can't stand clutter or waste myself . I'm single and retired . I sold my house and live in an apartment , which I love .
My fridge looks empty because I grocery shop every two days and don't waste food . I think this is the way to go.
I live in a studio and everything i have i use daily...ive had to stock pile on food cause of this pandemic and my work hours and store hrs dont coincide for the moment but I cook all my meals and have enough food for the month
My mom used to always tell me "not every item is a memory". You can't keep everything nor should you. My kids are now grown and getting rid of unnecessary "stuff" from 25 years of raising kids is such a freeing feeling.
Wise mom!
30+ years ago I read a study done by a graduate student who sampled a thousand or more senior citizens who were living on or near the poverty level. What he found was attics, basements and garages full of TV's, radios, cameras, microwave ovens, VCR's, and watches, each one was an iteration of the other with ''new and improved'' features.
These people had purchased their way into semi-poverty buying the ''latest'' gadget, the newest model of all these items. And while prices for them were considered mid to low cost, the fact that every year or two they bought the next generation of them, it added up.
I've been living minimally for the last five years and it has taught me that the more stuff you have the more bad stuff you let in your life. Idk why it is like that it is just something I have noticed the people in my life with more stuff have way more issues, especially mental health issues. It's like having more stuff they think it hides their mental problems that they are not working on. One other thing I have noticed is when I started living this way, more bad people started coming into my life and I will explain what I mean by this. When a someone that isn't good for your life sees that you do not have much stuff they use it as a opportunity to come in the back door of your life disguising it with a "giving" type mentality. They bring you stuff every time they see you and if you accept just one of these gifts you open up a whole can of narcissism real quick. I have learned from my mistakes and I'm very thankful for that because my life has become a lot better and my mental health has improved significantly since I started living minimally
This is why the people at the Goodwill donation center know my face very well.
...and the charity shop here knows mine very well too!
I have to go declutter something now.
I hear you! I love to clean since it shows
I love time lapse videos
All to pat myself on the back...
😂 me too, I'm so uncomfortable watching this.
Hahaha, after watching I was looking for something to declutter and I declutter a draw and my fridge :)
I'm preparing the list of things I need to declutter right now! bua hahahahah
😁
It's interesting that a friend of mine was a devout minimalist when she was single, and married a guy who was also a minimalist. After their son was born, they stuck with minimalism, but I have noticed how they are slowly letting that lifestyle go as he grows up. Having children definitely changes things. Then there's my parents. Ever since they became empty nesters, they've been off loading items and simplifying things.
This vid is a prime example of why I’m a minimalist. Not a sparse, empty room minimalist. But an “only have what I need or use regularly” minimalist. It really is a much less stressful living. A quiet room makes for a nice and quiet mind. It allows one to relax in their home.
Boring
@@trumptookthevaccine1679 Toxic troll
One trick to this is to delete all the shopping apps on your phone if you shop online a lot. Out of sight, out of mind.
This is an excellent suggestion. You can't shop riding the bus or standing in line if you lose the shopping apps. Good.
People had shopping addictions before online shopping...*The More You Know*
not just that, unsubscribe, stop notifications from social media too, use adblocks.
Okay how have I never thought of this
This trick works only for a short time...because your not addressing the Root cause
When I was growing up, my dad was in the military and we moved somewhat frequently, about every 4 years. That isn't frequent to many other military families. It was often enough that we cleaned out every time we moved. We had little clutter and we didn't buy too much because we either couldn't afford it or it would be a pain to move next time. As an adult, I have left the city in which I attended college. I had a house for 23 years. It was big and the amount of clutter and dirt that accumulated was astounding when we moved. We sold, donated and threw out about half the stuff we owned. Some stuff we didn't even remember getting or using.
One way to declutter is to either move or act as if you are moving. Get a pod and move out of your house one room at a time, then move back in. You'll dump a lot just because you get tired of sorting through stuff and moving it because you haven't seen or used it in years. It's better if you actually move, but moving out of a room completely changes how you see it and all the stuff in it. The stuff we own ends up owning us.
What is a pod? Is that for living in when one moves out of a room? I've not heard that word before.. It may work that technique you mention. Thankyou
@@twodogzdogue8710 a pod is a storage container a company moves to your house so you can put stuff in it to store or move. When you're done, they will pick it up and store your things for you or move it to your new home for a fee, or they will pick up the empty one. It's a mobile storage and moving unit..
30 years living here. tons of stuff. my only regret is when i try to find a certain item. my neighbor (whose place is nice and neat) is often wanting to "borrow" my junk.
I have 6 month rule. If it has not been used or worn in 6 months it probably never will be. Then it has to go.
Yep. I moved a lot in my late teens/early twenties. Reached a point where I could literally fit my entire life in two suitcases. I kinda miss the simplicity of my life back then.
Way to make something so mundane so interesting. I've always been what I call a purger.. opposite of a hoarder and this resonated with me.
I am a purger, coming on the back end of mother and grandmother being hoarders. I through my daughters doll house out before she was through playing with it. It is a guilt I will carry forever. But when you are Desperate to escape the genetic filth.....I remember being a dirty child. My children are grown now. They gently call me the cleaning nazi. There should be some attention payed to the other side of the hoarder coin. Guess I will keep scrubbing holes in the floor while I wait.
I was going to pass on this video as it appeared to be "old", but it's far from outdated and it's still relevant data. It was amazing to see the mom pull out the pre-made meal kit from the freezer as the pre-cursor to the ubiquitous meal kits we have commercially available today like blue apron. I'd be interested to see how these same families are doing, nearly a decade later, with content like Marie Kondo and youtube channels that encourage people to tidy up. Also, with the cutting edge innovations in mental health awareness, I'd like to see a follow-on to this documentary on how families today approach the make up of their homes and how they function inside of them.
It’s from
2012
These families would all be "empty nester" couples with adult children at this point. It probably wouldn't be that interesting.
It’s outdated since the fallout from the rona. Supply shortages showed how you need to have extra on hand. Need to put extra back.
I am Brazilian, but I lived in Michigan for 10 months. The family that hosted me for a month (before I could find a place of my own) had "200 hundred" items in their pantry, and I would say that half of them had already expired. Coming from a country where there's so much poverty (and I did see poverty in Michigan as well)...that really saddened me!!!!
When my kids were little, I stayed home with them. My best friend worked, so she used sitters. I couldn't afford a lot of toys, and often our stuff was from garage sales, or passed down through family. But I played with my kids. Every single day. My best friend didn't have free time to play with her kids, but she had the extra income to buy them everything. My kids used to whine that her kids "have everything." And her kids used to whine that my kids had "someone to play with them."
All of the kids turned out fine. But it just goes to show you that the grass is always greener. I think the yearning for "whatever" thing we don't have , has become the human condition. Hence the number of people on medications and suffering this addiction or that. We as a society need to address that, and start encouraging our children to figure out what they love and can be passionate about in this life.
Maree Bow I stayed home too. those were the best years. but I later felt guilty that my son didn't have financial support starting out. yet, I think it makes them better people somehow. people who grow up with money, doesn't have to be a fortune, have no idea what it is like to not have it.
Maree Bow yes! omg yes!
I've been living on my own for about 5 years now, I don't keep anything in my apartment unless I'm going to use it, the only "clutter" me and my husband have is two small boxes; one has me wedding dress and the other has some of my husband's memory stuff from before we were married. Right now I'm helping my parents replace their old carpet with hardwood floors. Just seeing all the absolute junk my parents bought me when I was a kid makes me ill. so much useless garbage toys that I'm fairly certain only held my attention for a few minutes before being thrown in a junk pile. My parents pretty much bought me whatever I wanted because I asked for much less than my older sister, but no way I needed all the dolls and robot dogs they bought me.
this isn't even to mention all the junk they bought themselves. My mother apparently has no less than 5 unopened mascaras, still in their plastic wrapping. They have a million plastic tubs for storing leftovers, none of which have matching lids so they have to plastic wrap over them. They also have a set of dinner plates yet use paper plates all the time. So much waste! why?!
Maree Bow Do you think your kids are now creative? I don't mean as in making things but like figuring out a way around problems, generally bright and positive in outlook, independent etc. Thx
I have a theory that if we don't as a first impulse resort to money when faced with a problem or issue, it forces us to look for other ways to deal with it and often discover extra benefits in the process.
Gotta have 🅱️alance
srini gypsy, how right you are. What many people call creativity, I have always seen as common sense. You take what you have and use it for what you need. We have never had much money and I don't really miss it. I still make what I call, "McGuyver Meals": you take what's lying around the kitchen, throw it together, and if it doesn't blow up, you eat it. I used to make all our clothes (and I more or less taught myself how to do it). I've never considered that to be a big deal, to tell you the truth.
It’s so incredible looking back to the past when I was a child and seeing how nothing has changed now as an adult. Of course, back then I was the one making the mess and now I’m the one cleaning up the mess - then when I have kids I’ll be making the mess again, and when I’m elderly I’ll throw everything away again. The true cycle of life.
Yes, great video! I hoarded, my husband hoarded, also school treasures, courts, everything I kept organized in notebooks in their plastic sleeves, in organized bins up to the garage walls. I found out after 70 years old that the kids didn't care for anything of theirs. They didn't care of fotos, or school treasures, pictures few only. I really hoarded for nothing. Only for the thought that "it would be important to them", but sadly they don't care. Once I am dead n gone they will make a bon fire of all those things, I cherished. Life goes on. So if you want my opinion, less is more. Good luck!
One question to ask ourselves regarding our children's memorabilia [which you called "hoarding"] is, at what age does one begin to enjoy looking back to reflect on one's life? Who has time or emotional energy before say, 40 or 45, maybe 50, after one's childen are grown and gone, one's career is either stabilized or winding down? I suggested to two friends and one child that they might appreciate those old journals they were about to pitch into the bin that they might be glad to look them later. (Journals don't take much room.) One friend just told me how he remembered my suggestion, and was deeply grateful that he had kept two of them, regretful for the one he'd thrown away. The other two were surprised and pleased to be able to look back with some perspective.
My daughter was the-type to enjoy going through old photos, making funny scrapbook collages. Interested in old things. Forever27, we miss her. Our son is not interested, he won't grow interested. I need to start to purge. A friend is investing a lot of time, organizing photos, her kids are nearly 30, I wonder if they'll ever look, but their own children might.
+Helen- MORE IS MORE Helen! Don't ever forget that!
Even if the stuff didn’t matter to them it’s hard to imagine that they didn’t notice the care and love that lead you to keep it for all those years! And especially organised and stored so carefully, that takes a lot of time. I honestly think it’s sometimes the misguided things people do that really show how much they love someone. I’ll be taking your advice though!
@@EmL-kg5gnKids are kinda strange nowaydays, looks like they dont love anything and anybody. I would love having the oportunity to see my grandparents pictures, but they were so poor that didnt had any😢.
My cortisol levels are through the roof just watching this!
Who are you telling felt very anxious watching this stuff 😰
I am from a south american country, and are considered middle class. I used to live in the States, and what overwhelmed me the most and seemed very strange is how children´s stuff literally took over all the households of american families I got to know. they had no more "adult" spaces, spaces for themselves, or to be with their partner, where children´s stuff was not involved. this kind of habit simply doesnt exist in latin america, children have toys in their room, and some may even have a "toy room", bur spaces like the living room, the master bedroom and dining area are left for the adults. it would be interesting to note how these different customs influence behaviour in children, boundaries, limitations, etc
Michelle rizo patron interesting. When I was growing up, I had two sisters and we had a play room and our bedrooms. But I think the rest of the house was just normal adult family space no toys. Now I am grown, I have a small two bedroom home with one small living room space. I have a baby and the living room has a baby play yard toys and other baby things. I don’t have a big enough house! Houses are god damn expensive and I’m being smart not to go overboard with a mortgage I can’t afford. If toys are in the living space so be it!
If my son’s toy got into my room, out to garbage bin it goes . His toys are limited to his room (toy section) and part of his writing desk.
Interesting thought.
Michelle rizo patron It's having love for one's children. If it bothers you to see a kid's toy in your bedroom or living room don't have kids. It's kind of mean. Some people love their kids, especially Americans.
Saadi X That's not it at all. It's not mean to want your home to feel like one instead of a Toys 'R Us stock room. There's nothing wrong with limiting the toys to a certain area. Clutter can cause anxiety, and make a space feel uncomfortably tight no matter the size. Not to mention it can be a safety hazard.
It's so unnecessary to have toys laying around in their bedroom AND the living room AND your bedroom AND the bathroom AND the kitchen. That's ridiculous. My Jamaican momma played with me and my toys in the living room- and sometimes even in her room- but my stuff was put in cubbies in my room afterwards.
No one's talking about being disgusted at the sheer sight of any toys ever, but it's okay for them to have a place and stay in that place unless exceptions are made for whatever reason. If I'm folding laundry in my bedroom and my child wants to be in eyesight of me, I'd let them play with their toys in my room but they'll be going back into the kid's room afterwards. I don't think a parent is wrong for wanting a few spaces in the house just for alone time or with no kids' stuff.
If you would let kids have their stuff taking over all of the walking and sitting space in the house all of the time, maybe you are the one who shouldn't have kids. Boundaries and organization matter; they are things that need to be taught and upheld. You must know nothing about creating healthy environments for family living. Don't spread foolishness smh
I was born (1977), raised and live in Russia. When I was a child, I was quite happy to own 2 teddy bears and a few sets of the "zoo" - tiny animal toys. I didn't feel the urge to own more than that, for some reason. Maybe that's because other kids didn't own much more than that.
The current situation in Russia is, both parents work, their kids are looked after by grandmothers or nunnies (babysitters). Many parents try to "buy" their children's love - I mean, they buy them a new toy every day! As for the fridges, we don't have this issue as they describe in this video. In large cities there are a lot of chain supermarkets, the prices are affordable and foods are always available. We cook. In my fridge there are always assorted vegetables. I only buy meat when I have decided to cook a meal that contains meat - so, I always buy fresh non-frozen meat. Many people don't drink coca-cola and similar fuzzy drinks at all, ever (of course we can afford those, we just don't like them). We don't buy/eat frozen boxed convenience food at all.
COVID impact: people order food delivery a lot now - both supermarket raw ingredients for cooking, and takeaway foods from restaurants/sushi etc. It's all affordable and delicious.
In smaller towns or villages there is at least one of those chain supermarkets, and it's always within walking distance. The only places that don't have a supermarket nearby are the cottage settlements - that's our cultural phenomenon, we call that kind of property "dacha". We use those cottages only at weekends. Of course, there's no need to stack the fridge full - it will be needed for a few days only.
A few tips that may help:
Taking pictures of items before giving them away helps greatly if you have attached feelings or memories to them.
Giving items away to close friends and family is much easier than a second hand store for most people.
If clothes and shoes are an issue give them to a shelters, employment preparedness programs, your local school district. For most, it is easier when you know that it will be used for good.
Use a folding banquet table or a completely cleared off table to use as a sorting station.
Thankyou Ian for these suggestions. 👍
@@twodogzdogue8710 You're welcome. My pleasure. These tips were shared with me and helped me a lot. It's an ongoing process but after a few intial hurdles it becomes easier and manageable.
I so needed this when I gave away some of my stuff!
Totally correct about giving to those I love being easier. Another is giving to someone I know, like work, and they legitimately need the item. I don’t like to give things to people, even loved ones, if they already have more than enough of what I’m trying to purge. I still remember giving a nice set of steak knives I got at a Christmas exchange to a newly wed at work. I brought them there for anyone to take but mentioned them to her. She took them, thanked me and told me her and her husband didn’t have any. Years later I’m still gratified by giving them to her because she honestly needed them.
@@IanWhiddett i especially like the idea of photographing items that I know I will miss. Some things that were with me for decades, are now gone forever. All I have is the memories. Pictures in a shoebox would be comforting to have.
I have used your other ideas.
When your item will be appreciated by someone, it makes you feel better about parting with it.
I grew up in the seventies. My brother and I owned 2 Curver boxes, filled with toys and games. At dinnertime we put all the toys back, washed our hands and sat down for dinner. No mess no argues. Those were simply happy times.
I don’t have children. I do have two nieces however, and I was so appalled by the quantity of toys in their “toy room” And living room and bedrooms…. As they were getting older I suggested my brother box them up and have the girls take them to a shelter where our children lived. It was amazing that they hadn’t thought about doing this before.
I remember the days when the kids were little and that there was so much extra we didn’t need. It used to stress me out. Back then, it was my idea to “organize” as opposed to declutter. I have been on a decluttering journey for years. I’ve come to a bit of a gridlock but we are in a much better place than we used to be. ❤
Its hard when you are a minimalist and your husband firmly believes he who dies with the most toys wins
Very hard. Very hard indeed. Take precious care of you.
@@lizziebkennedy7505
Yes and amen.
My husband is into gadgets, "things & stuff" and toys that caused me a lot of stress. He didn't care.
He's now my ex.
I always like to switch up the game. Trade the motorcycle for a jet ski then the jet ski for a boat. Too many fees and maintenance when you have them all at the same time
Opposites Attract!
My husband ❤️❤️😂🥶
Why can I see everyone else's clutter, and can see easy solutions, but I can't see my own?
Same! It's so easy for me to go to my mom's house and organize, but I can't seem to keep my place in order at all😑.
I know i'm a little bit late to the party, but maybe you still need help. I can recommend taking pictures of your own space to distance yourself from the "feeling" of the room and instead focus on the over all picture of the situation.
I had this problem too. It's like a psychic who can only read for others lol I ended up getting a feng shui consult and she actually told me to place things in a way i would have never thought would work but it totally did.
It's because you're emotionally tied to the objects in some fashion. I had a service that helped people de-clutter. It's the emotions and fears that keep you tied. Getting rid of things is a rational act, accumulating is emotional.
@@winewoman224 Thank you for reminding me of that. Keeping that in mind makes it a little easier to part w things 🙂
There is also a big "Prepping" mentality contributing to people thinking they'll need xyz "in an extended state of emergency". But then we see Ukraine and I looked around and thought, if I could take only what I Could carry, what would I grab? Yeah, 98% of stuff is non essential.
We’re a family of seven, and this doc described us with uncanny accuracy. Thank you for this valuable insight into our American culture, to include our First World problem set.
We buy stuff we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't know.
In tyler we trust
AMETHYST DREAM Dave Ramsey didn't invent that saying
Super Kyle copy and paste is always insightfull
AMEN!
Super Kyle And people that don't care.
When we traveled in past, I stopped buying souvenirs....memories and photos are enough.
Me too!!
My goal when I travel is to bring home one new idea....when I see it, I snap a photo....could be a plant for our garden, a design idea etc.
If I travel anywhere, I send myself a postcard on the last day before I go home: I usually arrive home before it and I get a nice surprise and souvenir when it arrives!
@@mynameislg8549 nice idea!
@@lindalee5440 such a great idea.
It isn’t a middle-class occurrence. There’s a mental health crisis that doesn’t acknowledge class or income that isn’t being analyzed for what it is. I’ve seen it in poor, low-income, middle-class, and wealthy homes. Hoarding and consumerism is widespread and needs to be approached at the root, mental health.
I operate a business helping people declutter and families get rid of the mounds of “stuff” they inherit when someone dies. It’s fascinating work for all the reasons mentioned in this video. There are strong psychological pulls that make the task for many people emotionally draining, overwhelming and sometimes frightening…processing through your years of lost loved ones, hard childhoods, projects you didn’t do, perceived failures in life, etc. This research is great! I would love to offer insight from the perspective of actually doing the work of sifting through the objects and the fascinating patterns I have seen in the behaviors of people along the way.
Please do tell.
What fascinating patterns of behaviors have you noticed?
My own experience has led me to advise others.
Interesting. Your lengthy reply is clustered with words. We each have our own way of cluttering/ have we not? Be well. Happy days of Celebration to you and your family. Gregg Oreo long Beach Ca Etats Unis
@@rogerbritus9378 I could write a book - sht shufflers unite lol. For starters - many maaany people have excessive guilt and anxiety about the decision to get rid of objects given to them by family. They have magical thinking that says if I get rid of this object it is disrespectful to the person who burdened me with it and/or something “bad” will happen if I do. Also, everyone owns at least 42 electronic parts that they have no idea what they belong with 🤓
@@maisydaisy9216😂
I think the root of everything is that our culture has stopped valuing our time -time spent at home, time spent caring for each other, cooking, cleaning, or just doing nothing. When women entered the workforce, that should have meant more flexibility for all workers, it shouldn't take 80 hours a week of labor to support a family!!!! Parents and caretakers, and everyone really - should have more time off! (While still making a living wage!)
I've always said ( and my mom) that most of these women do not HAVE to work. They want to work. They don't want to be home doing the things you mentioned. It's more fun leaving the house everyday and spending/wasting money on stuff. I still see the same thing constantly! The false feminist bull. They are NOT happy!
I do think there are a lot of cases where the family chooses to have two incomes due to the influences of feminism and materialism. Especially if both or one of the spouses is a high-wage earner. And I would agree with you that those women, and probably their families, are not actually happy.
However, the rising cost of health insurance and groceries is simply unaffordable for many families on one income. My husband works hard 50+ hours/week at his job, and I watch other children in my home to earn money, and we still require government assistance for our children's healthcare. I know other "middle class" families where the wife has chosen to stay at home (or work from home) who are in the same situation. It's embarrassing! But if I were to work outside the home again, I would not make enough money to even set off the cost of childcare, let alone be able to afford health insurance without assistance if our income bracket went up. Thank God I love my job as wife and mom :)
Some women who have more earnings potential can afford to pay for those services and choose to do so to avoid being on government assistance. I don't think you can say either decision is right or wrong without knowing someone's individual situation. It's a systemic problem. The single-income middle class is disappearing.
House pets
YUP
These women do nothing alllllll day, everyday. Even with several kids in the house. They whine and vent and complain about exhaustion. They wont even make dinner, or any other meal. Dad comes home from working all day and has to do dinner, etc.
SERIOUSLY!?!
I have been a stay at home wife for almost 2 months....my place is way cleaner...the bed gets made daily...laundry and cooking get done. I love being home. Yes we have a tight budget to do this but it is really worth it.
.
EXACTLY! Instead, people need $1,000 Iphones, tons of toys with no time to play with them for Christmas and Birthdays,... cars they can't afford,.. houses they can't afford, or (just getting by the mortgage payment with never money to save) God forbid if they had a real financial emergency. My ex-girlfriend's mom, would by her grandson toys, and expensive things he has never used, and never will! Why would you buy a kid an expensive basketball hoop setup, if the kid doesn't even like basketball! It's crazy things like this I'll never understand about people!
When my son and his wife bought their first home, I told them to shop my home and take anything they wanted. They showed up with a UHaul and did a good job. A lot was left, so I offered a lot more to a young couple at church with two kids and an empty house. Then I sized down from 4000 sf to 800 sf, and gave boxes to the Salvation army. I will never go back. Side benefit: my son got everything that he felt sentimental about while he was young. I assured my DIL than when time came to replace, it was hers to get rid of, no concern of mine.
That's brilliant!!! 👍👍👍
Great idea. We should all do more of this type of thing.
@@Boules99 I have a neighbor who did. Her daughter moved a couple doors down. For weeks the girl was going back and forth with arm loads of stuff from her mom's place. I think that's a wonderful idea, too.
I grew up in a house that had clutter. My mom was a business woman and professional cleaner/organizer, but she had piles of papers and tubs of documents and whatnot on the dining room table for, I'd say about 6 or 7 years. Our house wasn't even cluttered, it was just spots like the dining room, her room, her office. The places she went to work most. When I joined the army after highschool, I realized for the first time in my life that I don't actually need all of the stuff I had. It's amazing how moving out and learning to live with minimal possessions helps someone grasp what matters and what doesn't.
There’s a saying in the U.K., ‘ THE WORSE SHOD MEN ARE COBBLERS ‘.
It would be interesting to see an updated documentary that incorporates newer and convenient lifestyle opportunities for families. So much has changed since this documentary such as online grocery/fast food shopping with home delivery services. Such as Uber Eats, Amazon Prime, Walmart, and Shipt. The fridge doesn't serve as a scheduling and photo command center as much either. Now there's technology of smart phones with scheduling and digital cameras built in. There's a lot of food service companies that now package ready to cook meals delivered to your home too such as Hello Fresh. There's even home delivery subscription services for contact lenses, shaving razors, cosmetics, that now save families time.
One thing is that digital trash doesn't take up as much room.