Do you know anyone that's toxic in your life? If you want to know whether you're actually a toxic person, we have a video on this too: th-cam.com/video/wF7asqah7S0/w-d-xo.html
Great video. Years ago I worked as a server and it was the most toxic environment I've ever been in. Full of hypocrites, gossips, and individuals with zero self awareness. I'm in a much better place now culture wise and salary wise.
I've walked on eggshells around several ex-friends before. It was making me miserable. There is nothing wrong with walking away. Sometimes, you have to do it for your own well-being.
Timestamps 1). What is a toxic person 0:25 2). Walking on eggshells 0:54 3). Stonewalling 1:42 4). Inconsistency 2:40 5). You feel guilty 3:17 6). Problem but no solutions... ever 3:54 7). Talk to them about your concerns 5:19 8). Limit your time around them 5:49 9). Set boundaries 6:18 10). Walk away 7:14 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I understand that situation, my older brother who is like this Tyrant who takes advantage of the siblings, most of the siblings, get married to escape him, we are 5 siblings in together. I'm the only one left with him. All the best in my future
I might just be overreacting and/or sensitive, but I think this is my parents for me, which means I not only have to live with them, but I can't even confront them about it :/
i had a toxic "friend" when i was still in school, college actually. i and other people had told her multiple times that what she did and how she acted wasn’t okay. she was mean, lying & manipulative. i even told my mentor. i really wanted to leave but it was hard. so when i graduated i literally just kept ghosting her. she didn’t get the memo. so i blocked her. never heard from her again and i know this might not be the right way to do it but it seemed like the only option left. but as soon as i left i literally felt so good that i don’t have contact with her anymore
You did the right thing. She had been given multiple warnings and refused to listen. You owed her nothing more and the most important thing is that you got away. I am really happy for you. When you've already confronted someone several times and they refuse to take responsibility, there's no need to keep doing it anymore. I had to learn that the hard way too.
I let go of so many people in the last two years and feel so good, and I’m more myself than I’ve been in years. Self love, esteem and worth are very important. Love yourself first guys, and don’t try to save others. 💗💗💗💗💗
@lorellas sending you peace and hope ✨ I've found great community with good people by volunteering near me, finding others who care about the things I do. It's hard to rebuild after releasing a toxic circle but it's worth it!
I was in a situationship with a person with narcissistic personality disorder. He used to do all the things you mentioned in the first part of the video... From my personal experience, talking to said person about there being a problem with their behaviour, will not solve the situation...it will actually make it worse because they don't think they need help. In their mind, YOU are the problem. So I think that the only method to stop this behaviour is to remove ourself from the toxic situation. Thanks god I got myself out of that situation with said person and asked for help from a qualified doctor who is helping me. (even though it's really hard not to think about the narcissist and all of the things we went through...)
If you have to work with a toxic person (and most of us have at some point), then just leave the office at the office. Avoid after-hours socializing with undesirable types.
Thx ❤ Iam immune now though to toxic behaviour as it‘s not something I want to waste my time on. Not only me, everyone deserves not only „better“ but loving people around them. You are your priority and not there to boost someone’s own perception of self. Any egoistic behaviour I a big big No go for me. I always was this way but thought a person would change. Well, not my problem 🤷🏻♀️
Signs someone is toxic: 0:26 - What is a toxic person? 0:55 - Walking on eggshells. 1:43 - Stonewalling. 2:41 - Inconsistency. 3:19 - You feel guilty. 3:55 - Problems but no solutions. What to do about it: 5:20 - Talk to them about your concerns. 5:49 - Limit your time around them. 6:20 - Set boundaries. 7:15 - Walk away. That's all. Thank you psych2go and stay safe everyone. 😊
Same her, but my boss is the toxic one. I want to quit so badly but bills need to be paid. Check in with your nervous system. Maybe go to a chiropractic wellness center. Idk anything to keep your nervous system calm and detached from work.
Do. Not. Rage.Quit. Line yourself up at least a side hustle. My best friend rage quit a health care environment(his chosen field)and now has no car and must walk to and from a grocery store job everyday.
I’ve had this experience before. There was one person we knew, who acted like they cared about us, but since we disconnected from them, they were nothing but vengeful and spiteful and kept stalking us. I’m honestly glad we left that person behind. My life has never felt better. Toxic people need help to adjust their behavior, but there are some that don’t, and won’t, get it.
I actually had a toxic surprise during an engagement. She was that fabled "ball of psychosis" that was just one person away from it being full blown. It got ugly ; both families suffered from it as I tried to keep her together. She broke the engagement, citing "personal reasons." I got her back (she returned all teary eyed and penitent.) She left me a 2nd time, which I didn't know she was ready to do. There was a 64 gal drum we used to burn trash and stuff behind the barn. "I gave you all that stuff back," she tells me on the phone. "No, you didn't. it's not by my car, or on the steps." "No, it's back behind the barn," she says, venom dripping from her toxic words. Sure enough, there were fresh embers.
Good video. After being disrespected a number of times I walked away and dumped her and then completely ghosted her. It was the best strategy that saved my sanity. The key point is that you have to have a strong sense of self.
My sister's been so toxic to the point where I had to move back into my parents' house to get away from her because she called constantly berated me for every little thing that wasn't even a big deal to begin. She never respected my own boundaries and practically took over the house the way she wanted it and not once considered how unfair it made me feel. She never cared for the most part when she knew I had a few more college semesters to go (after switching majors) and that it was more challenging when I got hired at my local Stater Bros. Staying away from her has practically made me happy because I accomplished all sorts of positve moments that obviously would never have happened if I still lived with her. I practically don't even speak to her at this point but I occasionally see her during family gatherings. Even during those moments I stay away from her because there's nothing for us to talk about. My mom keeps hinting every now and then that we should do a group thing like old time sakes but I really don't see that happening because she's made me feel broken with her toxic behavior and acts like she didn't do anything. I normally feel like my mom doesn't want to respect the reality that siblings don't have to stay close just because we're in the same family and that she doesn't want to admit that I've been doing a lot better by staying away from her.😢
Hi there regularinvader, I want to tell you that I am so sorry what you had to go through with your sister of all the rough times and harsh moments that you had to deal with her well you know what you were doing the right thing for yourself and you did what was right for yourself and you tried finding your own happiness though and it’s even much harder when there’s family together….. and especially because she’s your sibling. But I wish and hope that everything will start getting better in your life again and that you will have the happiness you desire and I hope you have a wonderful day 😃👍
My sister snapped on me last Easter, FB unfriend and ghost phone. No one else said anything about it, not even my brother-in-law. Ten(!) months later-three days ago-she sent me a friend request. I accepted it...but I promised myself that I NEVER have to set foot in their house. Boundaries are hard to establish and harder to enforce. Worth it to push thru.
GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND TOXIC FAMILY, I CAN RELATE TO THIS TOPIC BECAUSE I'M GOING THROUGH IT AS WE SPEAK, IT'S THE WORST WHEN IT'S YOUR PARENT, HAVE A BLESSED DAY, I TRIED 🙏💙💪
I definitely tend to stone wall when upset. My default is to shut down and internalize the problem before I talk it out with a person. I ask myself first if my upset is valid or is it a me problem. It's definitely not healthy, you ruin your own relationship and you ruin yourself with the overthinking. I'm lucky to have my boyfriend in my life, he actually got through to me and is patient to wait for me to open up. At first it was difficult because no one tells me to open up about my upsets specially not my parents, but I did it I started bringing up things to them when I feel upset about something. It's still difficult to explain why I feel that way but I'm trying.
I put empathy into my everyday life. I have been doing so for several years now. I still blame myself a lot. It's time to develop a plan to protect myself from toxic or even potentially toxic people.
You know it's bad when you ask a sibling why they did something to you, and they tell you it never happened. Then they call your mom and tell them you're having a psychotic break and imagining things.
I have a coworker (higher ranking job than me) who is very bossy and it feels toxic. She gave me a hard time about working overtime that my supervisor approved. She also called me at home and stressed the importance of something while I was off the clock.
I blame my toxic traits. I lost someone I truly love, I have nothing but guilt to be honest… it’s hard for me to move forward with my life. It’s been 6 months since they left. I learned so much and I’m growing to never do these traits again
When the toxic person are family members who are with you 24/7, boundary setting and walking away are a lot easier said than done. Especially when you're feeling isolated/trapped and have little to no choice/control over your own life. For those who feel like completely resigning to the fate handed to you... I know it may seem impossible to keep your head above water when it's easier to just give up and allow yourself to sink, but please don't give up on yourself and hang in there. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Well said! Thus far i have distanted with my father and sister, a few of my co-workers. Its unfortunate that families can be the most toxic people in your life, but it is what it is and i have no regret in growing up my myself. It is my life, and i have zero tolerance to toxic people, including my toxic father.
My mom comes from a very toxic family and my parents were in a toxic relationship and got divorced. That naturally made them toxic, but honestly more so my mom than my dad. They always try to have some sort of control over me even small ways. My mom never listens to me, always thinks I’m lying, accuses me of things I never did, gaslights me about accusing, and we get in really bad arguments. And I have noticed that as a result I’m lashing out as a reaction from them lashing out over nothing, and I’m scared shitless that I’m adopting some toxic behavior. I’m going to a therapist and I think once I get away from my parents, I’ll be able to heal and work on myself. Being around toxic people can often bring out some toxicity from you, which means you should definitely get away from them.
Everything you have listed here is what my partner/ex-bf did. I finally got out of the relationship 4 days ago and was not sure if I did the right thing. But yeah, this video makes things clear. Thank you so much❤
What if the person doesn’t know they’re being toxic and genuinely thinks you’re good friends? Breaking off that friendship might make it seem like you’re ending it for no reason, or blowing it out off proportion. Or if you genuinely think theyre a good person but they just don’t realize they’re toxic?
You tell them your reality and experience. Your feelings are valid. If they do not try to change their behaviour and don’t seem to care about improvements or even react negatively to your feelings. Then you must say that you tried but they shut you down and you shouldn’t or don’t have to live with that. So you become strong but kind to yourself. And know there’s much more to life.
I unfortunately had that experience with 2 friends. Happened over the last year or so we were friends. One of them kept saying “I don’t know” whenever I tried arranging a meet-up or whatever before saying no and the other would say she had “really bad family issues that were so bad that she couldn’t get away”. Yeah, I think that sounds silly too. Then maybe a week or so later i would scroll through Instagram and see that at least one of them had posted pictures of the 2 of them doing exactly what I suggested even though they apparently couldn’t go out. I eventually explained to them how I was feeling and how I was being affected, etc. It seemed like they didn’t get the message. They kept trying to get in contact with me for a while. One of them gave up after a couple of months. I felt like I had to explain the whole situation to the other again but I still didn’t think she took the hint. She just sounded very “I know you feel that way but. . .” like she was trying to sound like I was bringing this situation upon myself which is weird because if I did anything, I don’t know what it is and neither of those two people said anything. She messaged me twice since then. I’ve gotten to the point where I blocked them both on all social media and deleted their numbers off my phone. I’m lucky enough that I don’t come in contact with them in person in my day to day life since we don’t have other friends in common and we don’t live and work in the same area. I’ve only met each of them once in person over the last 3 years or so
I just 10 days ago blocked a toxic friend. When they think their beliefs are right, and you should think their way, and they make comments like "don't complain when ... Because you don't see things the way I do" I would go from being calm to wanting to scream and kick just by having 1 conversation on the phone, or visiting their front yard, bringing out the worst in me, I knew it was time to let go and block them!! I'm 10 days in the block and move on phase from this manipulative gas lighter. The nice things they do CAN and WILL be used against you later!
I dont even feel compelled to explain to the toxic person in my life. Im that fed up. Too much negative energy comes from her. I'm just moving on. No one in my circle needs to hear anything from me about it. I'm just removing myself. If she comes my way I'll just say hi and be too busy to talk. I'm just done.
I can't get away from toxic people at work. I can only limit my interactions. It's affecting my work performance. Pay rise was denied, stuck with doing tasks outside of my role and responsibilities. Can't afford to quit my job. When I look at other options, I freeze at making a decision after reading awful employee reviews about the employer... sounds exactly like my current employer. Funnily enough, the only good reviews are from management, or employees that don't do the hard yard dirty work.
One of my classmates has all these qualities. It's about time i stop talking to him. He doesn't care about what happens to me. He just uses me to make himself look superior. Once i told the teacher, and he doubled using me. I've made my decision. I'm gonna stop being the support in his life.
Sending this to my bff rn Reason: her "Best friend" uses her as a tool to vent to. And doesnt allow her to vent back. Its a really problematic relationship and i hope this helps her.
Thank you so much for the tips. I had tried some of it and it really work. I've never knew how much my friend had been putting her problems on me for the past 2 years. Now that I realized, it's time for a new friendship for me.
I had a toxic friend stonewall me for years after an argument over FB. He now wants to be friends again like nothing happened. Lol nope. How about actually taking responsibility for throwing away our friendship of 13yrs and apologizing like you mean it.
Yep. my "sister" (not kin but close to me) snapped last Easter. Unfriended me AND ghosted me. So three days ago she sent me a friend request-which takes a lotta nerve-and I accepted it. Not gonna follow her or anything, just wondering if she'll ever apologize. Mom would say: "If someone wants to leave you, let them go. If they stay, you won't have any peace in your life, in your own house."
Please also don't forget that people with toxic traits sometimes struggle with themselves very much. I've been there too and been a dick to people, but it was mostly just because I was dealing with a lot of personal problems. They feel too. Therapy and compassion help to turn to a better person.
It's true the hell is empty and the world is full of devils 😢 it's so sad that no one is good... Everyone hates the truth that they are bad 😞 at least rarely some innocent people are there😢
Stonewalling is what my last friend did before cutting me off. They made it really confusing and hard for me to understand what was going on and this video helped give me some clarity of what might’ve been happening. Thanks psych!
I stonewall because, like the video says, when I feel emotionally overwhelmed. My ex did not respect me and she was very intense. I was stuck with her on a two hour car ride and she wanted answers now, so I stonewalled. It’s not that I didn’t want to communicate with her. However since she was being very intense and I felt trapped, I didn’t feel emotionally safe. I would rather have scheduled a time to talk so that we could both calm down.
You have to protect yourself from ALL hurt/harm/danger. Sometimes that includes building a "wall" of boundaries. Don't beg for someone's time; if they have a "toll booth" mentality don't give them any "emotional currency."
As a people pleaser myself, I'm having a hard time to live with toxic parents. What makes it worst is, I don't know how to set a bounderies between us. It's also remind me to my therapist when she said "we can't change people behaviours and you should focus on yourself" :(
I was in a toxic relationship for a couple years. Sometimes I would have a breakdown and cry from all the stress and manipulation, and they would tell me how my breakdown is making them upset 😞 everything always would end up being about them
From a sense of past associations, alliances, and allegiances, I've put up with some very bad behavior. But not anymore. Life is too short and precious, and if it feels like a chore, or a burdensome obligation, then I back off. ( Caveat - that doesn't mean back away from all burdens ; often you have to be there for certain situations, but, not for unnecessary toxicity. )
When it's a neighbour that won't appaulagise for the damage he's done but suies you for the damage he's done and makes you homeless retaliation is the only answer
Honestly, it's so incredibly hard when the toxic person in your life is your dad. It's like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around him, and I actually have the possibility now to go no contact with him in a few years. But it's so difficult having to do that to a parent, especially if you know that it's his worst fear... Granted, he made his own bed on that one, and since I'm 30 years old; he had like 25 years to actually fix the bond with me. But he only continued to be toxic during that time, and I had honestly been dreaming of the day that I could go no contact with him since I was a teenager. But given the instinctual lizard brain bond to a parent here, I'm not sure if I can power through that and actually go through with it. The fact that both my mom would be sad and grandma also said to stay in touch in case something happens to my mom isn't exactly helping either.
I tried to be away from my stepfather and mother as much as I could when they started bullying me. I couldn’t walk away. They’d yell at me not to walk away from them… and I couldn’t speak while they were…. I just had to wait till they stopped yelling. He would fake happy fun family time…. And I just couldn’t. I wouldn’t act the way he wanted to at the dinner table, all cheery. So he would make fun of me and belittle me for being a teenager. I hated it. My heart was in pain constantly around him. And when I would try to talk to my mom about it privately, he always tried to make sure he was there, walk right in, “What’s going on?” I hated it. I missed my mom. She didn’t know how to deal with my stepfather picking fights with me. She didn’t defend me. She would just walk away and hide in her room. Or yell at me for making him angry. Then they started grounding me when I had secret boyfriends in highschool because I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend. (I’m still shocked they thought I’d get through highschool without wanting a boyfriend.) I felt so abandoned, abused and alone at home. So when a boy showed interest, wanted to hold my hand and kiss me, I allowed it even though the consequences were horrible. I just wanted to feel warm again. To feel loved again…. We even got some cats from Petco. And one of them was scared and skittish. He likes to stay in my room and he took a big liking to me. He cuddled with me all night and he was my comfort. My only comfort since I was red saved yet. And one day I come home and they tell me they’ve put him up on LSN and Facebook for sale….. because he was too unsociable, stayed in my room all the time, only liked me and ate too much cat food. I still miss Binx. After they sold him, I have never felt that much alone in my life. Binx was always in my room, waiting for me. He would paw and lick my tears away when I had to silently cry in my room. My l stepfather was narcissistic and evil, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. My mom was passive because she had to grow up that way to survive. But she eventually sided with him on everything and made it my fault that he was upset. I found a wonderful man who is nothing like my parents. We married fast, been together 6 years, 2 beautiful kids. And I have cut off contact/communication with my parents after constant abuse from them even after I married. My husband protect me and I love it. I just yesterday started reaching out for therapy which is terrifying. But I want to be better for my kids, for my husband, for my friends and for myself. I don’t want to have panic attacks and shut downs at stressful situations. I don’t want to see my children as annoying because my body is freaking out all the time.
Hi I have an idea for the next video and I have this problems like a lot so this is my idea: "Things you do when someone misunderstands the situation and think that it is their fault" Hope this helps 😊
After many years of being in a toxic relationship, I found out tonight I'm escaping a very toxic relationship next week. I think they sense something because they have been love bombing me for a couple of weeks. I haven't been me for over 10 years.
Thanks for this great topic, however in my case the toxic person have all the keys that i need to get away so it is unbelievably hard to get to the basic goal of getting away for that person. It also doesn't help that is the immediate blood relative i have and sharing the place to live with too.
As in India people don't seem to care about mental health issues and general psychology and often ignore the visible symptoms all parents want here is to get good grades and 10th ans 12th std. are very crucial years of a student's life so the community only expects them to study all the time and make self care very difficult as they think it is a waste of time the mindset of the people here is trash and toxic and it seems like they don't care about the increase in number of students suicide rate and refuse to change their mind set or send their visibly depressed kid to a therapist as their are less no. Of therapist because the community thinks it's not a real job and so going to therapy is very rare and this channel makes psychology and tips for mental health improvement available to everyone in a simple language love u♥️
I'm in a situation like this and unfortunately I've reached option 4 while I've always wanted option 1... she reuses help and keeps... doing what she wants that pushes me away while actively pushing me away as well simply because I wouldn't do what she wanted anymore...
My ex husband has same toxic traits , luckily God helped me and he gave me divorce after three months of marriage, obviously its not a long time period,but still i can feel the pain i was going through because of him, I can't trust anyone anymore
I have a few friends who are like this and they have alot of things in common with the points talked about i will try some of these things because they are having quite a bad effect on me as of late
It's kinda problem if it's your sibling, sometimes parents and grandparents😅 you can't talk to them, because they will never admit their fault. In this family have almost never been said those words: ,, I'm sorry" So i had to learn it on my own to admit my fault And to say ' I'm sorry', so i can be better, but i will never say it to them, because they take it as a weakness and use it against you 😅
Stonewalling is very misunderstood. People that stonewall do so because you were being toxic. They tried to get you to be accountable for your actions yet you refused and tried to trample over them. Stonewalling is a direct refusal to become toxic and lash out and is usually done by intelligent and reasonable people who actually care about you and do not want to continue to be hurt by you but do not want to hurt you. You say oh they are toxic because they refuse to interact. No they are just tired of being hurt. A relationship does not require conflict. A relationship requires reason, love, understanding, communication, and growth. You sit there lashing out in anger hurting each other over and over trying to win the conflict until finally you calm down and talk things thru with reason and logic and communication and understanding comes. Why for the love of God do you sit there and say the conflict step is in any way healthy? It litteraly is pointless. All it does is cause you to hurt each other to the point where one person is defeated and submits. That is not a healthy relationship and never will be. Stonewalling can be used in a toxic way that is 100% true. Manipulative people will try to use it to get you to submit to them. It can be used as a passive gaslighting tool. The key is that who uses the stonewalling and for what reasons they use it. Is it being used to protect themselves from you or are they using it to manipulate you? That is the determining factor. We all know that when dealing with a toxic manipulator the only thing you can actually do is remove them from your life. But ask yourself what happens to the person that uses stonwalling for defense from your toxic behavior? They eventually may take on huge psycological damages and close the whole world off from themselves because all they get is pain, anger, and rejection. If you have a stonwaller in your life first look inwards and ask yourself is this person blocking me out because they want me to submit to them or is it because I refuse to act approprietly and lash out at them in almost every interaction we have. Am I the toxic person.... chances are you will start to remember some really messed up things you did and continue to do. And if you change your toxic ways you can see those walls crumble down one day. But if the person stonewalling is doing so because they are toxic and controlling get away from them run because they are trying to train you to be their puppet. The easiest way to tell the difference is if you activly alter your toxic behavior while attempting to interact with the stonewaller. If they start responding more openly smiling more and seem to come to life and look at you again and put aside distractions to interact with you then yes you are the problem. If they start trying to further manipulate you and coerce your behavior towards what they want "manipulation" then they are the toxic person. Not everyone is interested in being a part of conflict they are smart enough to understand it is a pointless and wasteful and damaging activity. When a war is started there can only be 1 victor and many resources are damaged or destroyed in the proccess. The victor claims the spoils and maybe they gain more than they had originally or maybe they end up with less. But the loser always has to submit or be destroyed. And the winner is not always the one who was in the right. Conflict is not the answer....stop driving good people behind walls. Take acountability for your on behavior and actions. Look in the mirror and ask yourself why you feel you need to hurt the person you love. I know most your life you were trained to not think by those around you and it is not your fault they punished you for it. But you have to free yourself from the chains that bind your mind. Stop erasing your own memories and creating huge gaps in your life just because you want to deny your sins. Face who you are and change for the better. Just maybe you will start to reactivate the dormant parts of your brain that have been shut down.
W take up here. I admit that stonewall my mother because I have given up to talk and rationalize with her years ago. When you try to speak with someone and they not only they refuse to understand you and take accountability of their (in)actions, but also their enviorement (the rest of my family) validates her and always puts emotions over reason, you eventually get exhausted and you just shut down and refuse to waste time with someone that clearly cares more about being right and feeling themselves temporaily good at cost of your mental wellbeing. As a general rule of thumb, If you feel someone is stonewalling you, think about why they could be doing it and do some introspection. Chances are, you are the one being toxic.
@@sliterhedgehog I am sorry you have had to do this. I know it hurts to love people who are not capable of love. Do not let it consume you. Do not let hatred fester in your heart. God bless and peace to you. Shalom.
Thanks for writing. No reaction is often best with an NPD "person", if they can provoke you, they will, time and time again. I'm grateful for the life lessons these toxic creatures bring, love yourself & never accept disrespect off anyone ever.
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, I HAVE TO SAY YES TO ALL OF THIS TOPIC 💯 PERCENT, WHAT IF THE PERSON IS YOUR PARENT AND YOU LIVE WITH THEM, IT'S HARD WHEN IT'S YOUR ONLY PARENT, HAVE A BLESSED DAY 💯🙏💪💙
I may add that toxic people are also behaving this way out of envy, jealousy and sloth. It's easy to ruin others' life than minding your own business and work towards your goals.
My husband is NPD, my son autistic, my daughter is very very self focused and spoiled, as well as my sister and M.I.L. And her spouse have dementia aka SELF centered ness….it leaves no one.
You don't. Find you a psych dr. or counselor. But sometimes you will be at odds with yourself. Accept it; as it is a part of you and running from it will hurt you more in the long run.
I have now a real toxic friend. She doesn't understand my boundaries, my perspectives, my purposes( like, I'm studying not even so hard, just for my exams and that bothers her, like I'm doing smth wrong to her, but my interests don't have connection with our friendship) , that I have hobbies and other people to speak, if I said her that I have bff(my toxic friend really thinks that we don't speak at least a year and I consider her my bff because I don't have friends in her opinion) she would definitely become more agressive and have stress and blame me in everything( I dunno why I care about this). I'm trying to defend my boundaries for over a 2 months and she doesn't understand, that I don't want to be friends with her anymore because of her disgusting attitude(she even makes me shame cause always argue with different(kind) teachers in front of the class). And also, she is so selfish and jealous, care only about her , wants to make my studying worse, because:"You should put me(not even a friendship) on first place of important things in your life, not put me under your career cause it's boring🙄". Also she always pretends like the only victim it's she and I'm the real toxic friend. That's why I feel guilty. But on the other hand realise that she just manipulates. Our friendship began she, I didn't really want to start talk with her and today I told her everything, what annoys me about her ans she about me. But, after that, she again doesn't understand,that we're so different and can't be friends, she truly supposes I'm interested in her and don"t want to break the bound. I hope I will visit psychologist, because it affected so much on my mental health.
Wow, this was very helpful, specially since I have a sibling and I was wondering how to deal with it. If it's someone that you can't just be away because both live in the same house it's very rough and I feel like I'm following her mind games. I wish could know a bit more about how to manage feelings surround a toxic sibling. I'm very empathetic and it gets tiring because I always get emotional when things don't go well between us 😢❤ Thanks for the info 😊
Wait... Having to control mood of other person...? I mean now that you say it b-but... I learned to look out for it since I remember... I... Parents can be nervous, so keeping their mood in mind is just preventing them from lashing out-... Not causing problems... I don't know...
Dont invest in wrong people,they will break you into pieces,i am going through from this pain ,i was married with the person 17months before,and now he gave me divorce,i was in shock,but now im feeling grateful,he was so toxic , manipulative person i have ever seen in my life,im shattered because of his abusive behavior but soon i ll be fine
I have a desk mate... She is the only one who i have as a FAKE friend. She just uses me for all her needs like if she is absent, asking for what was written on that day, putting all the things which is so small and the situation which does not need to be talked about on me and so on. We have a enemy in our class and she talks about them each and every time even if that person comes near us for some other reasons. I have a crush on some one and that person's class is just near our class, he walks by our class most of the time for their needs. I told about him to my deskmate and she told me to show him, and i too showed and i don't have any one to talk about him even my sister cuz she tells to our parents, so whenever i talk about my crush, she always say that she don't like this talk and want to get rid of me and my talk. But i have not talked that much about my crush than she did about our enemy. She has a youtube channel and she alwayss copies my ideas and doesn't give any of my credits, i have talked about that to her many times whenever that topic comes up, but she just jumps to another topic and sometimes she even blamed me for that... She uses me as a machine which gives whatever she wants‽ She will always tells me when to do or tell something. I suffered a lot from stonewalling. Thank you so much for this video! I now really knew how to get rid of her! While typing this long message, i felt like i took out a big stone form my head. Thanks a lot this video will really help me out managing her!!!!❤❤
Ive been trying my best but its like i can still feel the toxic pain and i feel like giving up because everything i try they take it out on me and blame certain things on me and they avoid the situation by changing the subject and realizing how hurt i am😢😭😓
I have a really toxic bff and I try to talk to her but she keeps lying saying she likes me and them I still keep hearing that she actually gossips of how much she hates me and I don't know what to do she's giving me mad silent treatment making me feel bad for her problems and talks only to her new bff
I know i should talk to her but she keeps lying and making fun of me i dont know how to deal with that i really dont wanna leave her even tho i klnow she hates me i dont know how i even feel about her anymore@@geemail369
@@ImtotallystableYou can try to move on from her. Talking sometimes isn't a choice that is worth it to take. Sometimes at the end you'll only be hurting yourself.
Do you know anyone that's toxic in your life? If you want to know whether you're actually a toxic person, we have a video on this too: th-cam.com/video/wF7asqah7S0/w-d-xo.html
Yeh most of my family lamaooo
The TH-cam Channels like: MSA, Dhar Man, and ShanePlays should take notes from this Video☝️
😢😮😢
😢😮😢😮😢😮😢😮😢😢😮😢😮😮😮😮😮😢😮@@Keiron-pw6sl
Yes
An important thing I've learned when I stood up to the toxic people I knew in my life was to never compromise on your morals and what you stand for
What doni do if someone tries to take advantage of me and hurts my bounderies what if she gets close to me
@@AshleeWyma-sh3vq say, Umm, personal space, please. and if it continues then tell an adult you trust and unfriend them
Great video. Years ago I worked as a server and it was the most toxic environment I've ever been in. Full of hypocrites, gossips, and individuals with zero self awareness. I'm in a much better place now culture wise and salary wise.
I've walked on eggshells around several ex-friends before. It was making me miserable.
There is nothing wrong with walking away. Sometimes, you have to do it for your own well-being.
This was one BIG red flag so now slowly leaving this person.
Timestamps
1). What is a toxic person 0:25
2). Walking on eggshells 0:54
3). Stonewalling 1:42
4). Inconsistency 2:40
5). You feel guilty 3:17
6). Problem but no solutions... ever 3:54
7). Talk to them about your concerns 5:19
8). Limit your time around them 5:49
9). Set boundaries 6:18
10). Walk away 7:14
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This is the worst when it's your own sibling you have to live with
I understand that situation, my older brother who is like this Tyrant who takes advantage of the siblings, most of the siblings, get married to escape him, we are 5 siblings in together. I'm the only one left with him. All the best in my future
I might just be overreacting and/or sensitive, but I think this is my parents for me, which means I not only have to live with them, but I can't even confront them about it :/
💯
This
@@masongonzalez847I’m with you bud
i had a toxic "friend" when i was still in school, college actually. i and other people had told her multiple times that what she did and how she acted wasn’t okay. she was mean, lying & manipulative. i even told my mentor. i really wanted to leave but it was hard. so when i graduated i literally just kept ghosting her. she didn’t get the memo. so i blocked her. never heard from her again and i know this might not be the right way to do it but it seemed like the only option left. but as soon as i left i literally felt so good that i don’t have contact with her anymore
You did the right thing. She had been given multiple warnings and refused to listen. You owed her nothing more and the most important thing is that you got away. I am really happy for you.
When you've already confronted someone several times and they refuse to take responsibility, there's no need to keep doing it anymore. I had to learn that the hard way too.
I can attest to this advice. You have to let these people go. Espescially when they display a few of these traits at once.
I let go of so many people in the last two years and feel so good, and I’m more myself than I’ve been in years. Self love, esteem and worth are very important. Love yourself first guys, and don’t try to save others. 💗💗💗💗💗
the worst part is the aftermath. after all toxic people left my life, i still can’t find anyone to do this. i’m lonely as hell
In my opinion its better to be alone rather than someone who makes your life like hell.
@@bebeautiful583 yes i believe that too
@lorellas sending you peace and hope ✨ I've found great community with good people by volunteering near me, finding others who care about the things I do. It's hard to rebuild after releasing a toxic circle but it's worth it!
I got rid of socializing with all my toxic friends
I was in a situationship with a person with narcissistic personality disorder.
He used to do all the things you mentioned in the first part of the video...
From my personal experience, talking to said person about there being a problem with their behaviour, will not solve the situation...it will actually make it worse because they don't think they need help. In their mind, YOU are the problem.
So I think that the only method to stop this behaviour is to remove ourself from the toxic situation.
Thanks god I got myself out of that situation with said person and asked for help from a qualified doctor who is helping me.
(even though it's really hard not to think about the narcissist and all of the things we went through...)
Can you please guide me about your therapy?i want to cure my self tooo
@@bebeautiful583 what do you mean??
I mean what your doctor told you? medication or therapy?i
@@bebeautiful583 I've started therapy in January ^^
If you have to work with a toxic person (and most of us have at some point), then just leave the office at the office. Avoid after-hours socializing with undesirable types.
Since social media is very extremely common in today's generation, it can be very difficult to avoid harsh toxicity when setting boundaries.
Thx ❤ Iam immune now though to toxic behaviour as it‘s not something I want to waste my time on. Not only me, everyone deserves not only „better“ but loving people around them. You are your priority and not there to boost someone’s own perception of self. Any egoistic behaviour I a big big No go for me. I always was this way but thought a person would change. Well, not my problem 🤷🏻♀️
Signs someone is toxic:
0:26 - What is a toxic person?
0:55 - Walking on eggshells.
1:43 - Stonewalling.
2:41 - Inconsistency.
3:19 - You feel guilty.
3:55 - Problems but no solutions.
What to do about it:
5:20 - Talk to them about your concerns.
5:49 - Limit your time around them.
6:20 - Set boundaries.
7:15 - Walk away.
That's all. Thank you psych2go and stay safe everyone. 😊
Thank you for the timestamps ⏲
Thank You❤.
I was about to quit my job due to toxic people, and this came up. I'm considering these options. See how, I might or not quit the job. Thanks
Same her, but my boss is the toxic one. I want to quit so badly but bills need to be paid. Check in with your nervous system. Maybe go to a chiropractic wellness center. Idk anything to keep your nervous system calm and detached from work.
Sometimes in life you have to play along to get along.Unless you know your next source of income don't make rushed decisions.
Do. Not. Rage.Quit. Line yourself up at least a side hustle. My best friend rage quit a health care environment(his chosen field)and now has no car and must walk to and from a grocery store job everyday.
Consider your options carefully. Get OUT as soon as you can.
I’ve had this experience before. There was one person we knew, who acted like they cared about us, but since we disconnected from them, they were nothing but vengeful and spiteful and kept stalking us.
I’m honestly glad we left that person behind. My life has never felt better. Toxic people need help to adjust their behavior, but there are some that don’t, and won’t, get it.
I actually had a toxic surprise during an engagement. She was that fabled "ball of psychosis" that was just one person away from it being full blown. It got ugly ; both families suffered from it as I tried to keep her together. She broke the engagement, citing "personal reasons." I got her back (she returned all teary eyed and penitent.)
She left me a 2nd time, which I didn't know she was ready to do. There was a 64 gal drum we used to burn trash and stuff behind the barn.
"I gave you all that stuff back," she tells me on the phone. "No, you didn't. it's not by my car, or on the steps."
"No, it's back behind the barn," she says, venom dripping from her toxic words.
Sure enough, there were fresh embers.
Good video. After being disrespected a number of times I walked away and dumped her and then completely ghosted her. It was the best strategy that saved my sanity. The key point is that you have to have a strong sense of self.
WE'RE CRYIN WITH THAT ONE GANG!! 💥💥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️💯💯💯
I had a coworker that was extremely toxic, and it took me a while to realize that. It was hard to walk away, but I had to.
My sister's been so toxic to the point where I had to move back into my parents' house to get away from her because she called constantly berated me for every little thing that wasn't even a big deal to begin. She never respected my own boundaries and practically took over the house the way she wanted it and not once considered how unfair it made me feel. She never cared for the most part when she knew I had a few more college semesters to go (after switching majors) and that it was more challenging when I got hired at my local Stater Bros. Staying away from her has practically made me happy because I accomplished all sorts of positve moments that obviously would never have happened if I still lived with her. I practically don't even speak to her at this point but I occasionally see her during family gatherings. Even during those moments I stay away from her because there's nothing for us to talk about. My mom keeps hinting every now and then that we should do a group thing like old time sakes but I really don't see that happening because she's made me feel broken with her toxic behavior and acts like she didn't do anything. I normally feel like my mom doesn't want to respect the reality that siblings don't have to stay close just because we're in the same family and that she doesn't want to admit that I've been doing a lot better by staying away from her.😢
Hi there regularinvader, I want to tell you that I am so sorry what you had to go through with your sister of all the rough times and harsh moments that you had to deal with her well you know what you were doing the right thing for yourself and you did what was right for yourself and you tried finding your own happiness though and it’s even much harder when there’s family together….. and especially because she’s your sibling. But I wish and hope that everything will start getting better in your life again and that you will have the happiness you desire and I hope you have a wonderful day 😃👍
I had to move out to get away from mine campus appartements😅
This lady has such a soothing voice she should be an audiobook narrator or voice actress
Terrible when it’s your whole family but can’t run away to anyone as an escape plan
yep i feel you same situation here
Well i guess, deal with it until we're independent enough to frick off more huh
Same except my siblings
same except my siblings everyone else is toxic
My sister snapped on me last Easter, FB unfriend and ghost phone. No one else said anything about it, not even my brother-in-law. Ten(!) months later-three days ago-she sent me a friend request. I accepted it...but I promised myself that I NEVER have to set foot in their house. Boundaries are hard to establish and harder to enforce. Worth it to push thru.
GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND TOXIC FAMILY, I CAN RELATE TO THIS TOPIC BECAUSE I'M GOING THROUGH IT AS WE SPEAK, IT'S THE WORST WHEN IT'S YOUR PARENT, HAVE A BLESSED DAY, I TRIED 🙏💙💪
It’s my dad i just dont know what to do
TEE YOUR TOXIC PARENT SHE NEVER WANTED YOU/ME , I LOVE YOU/MYSELF 🙏🪐
I definitely tend to stone wall when upset. My default is to shut down and internalize the problem before I talk it out with a person. I ask myself first if my upset is valid or is it a me problem. It's definitely not healthy, you ruin your own relationship and you ruin yourself with the overthinking. I'm lucky to have my boyfriend in my life, he actually got through to me and is patient to wait for me to open up. At first it was difficult because no one tells me to open up about my upsets specially not my parents, but I did it I started bringing up things to them when I feel upset about something. It's still difficult to explain why I feel that way but I'm trying.
I often felt like a toxic person until the "you feel guilty" part comes in... That part was a major call out for me😭
I put empathy into my everyday life. I have been doing so for several years now. I still blame myself a lot. It's time to develop a plan to protect myself from toxic or even potentially toxic people.
Seeing both the toxic behavior my ex had and the toxic behavior I had in this video. Thank you for reminding me to keep improving.
You know it's bad when you ask a sibling why they did something to you, and they tell you it never happened. Then they call your mom and tell them you're having a psychotic break and imagining things.
I have a coworker (higher ranking job than me) who is very bossy and it feels toxic. She gave me a hard time about working overtime that my supervisor approved. She also called me at home and stressed the importance of something while I was off the clock.
I blame my toxic traits. I lost someone I truly love, I have nothing but guilt to be honest… it’s hard for me to move forward with my life. It’s been 6 months since they left. I learned so much and I’m growing to never do these traits again
When the toxic person are family members who are with you 24/7, boundary setting and walking away are a lot easier said than done. Especially when you're feeling isolated/trapped and have little to no choice/control over your own life. For those who feel like completely resigning to the fate handed to you... I know it may seem impossible to keep your head above water when it's easier to just give up and allow yourself to sink, but please don't give up on yourself and hang in there. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Well said! Thus far i have distanted with my father and sister, a few of my co-workers. Its unfortunate that families can be the most toxic people in your life, but it is what it is and i have no regret in growing up my myself. It is my life, and i have zero tolerance to toxic people, including my toxic father.
My mom comes from a very toxic family and my parents were in a toxic relationship and got divorced. That naturally made them toxic, but honestly more so my mom than my dad. They always try to have some sort of control over me even small ways. My mom never listens to me, always thinks I’m lying, accuses me of things I never did, gaslights me about accusing, and we get in really bad arguments. And I have noticed that as a result I’m lashing out as a reaction from them lashing out over nothing, and I’m scared shitless that I’m adopting some toxic behavior. I’m going to a therapist and I think once I get away from my parents, I’ll be able to heal and work on myself. Being around toxic people can often bring out some toxicity from you, which means you should definitely get away from them.
Everything you have listed here is what my partner/ex-bf did. I finally got out of the relationship 4 days ago and was not sure if I did the right thing. But yeah, this video makes things clear. Thank you so much❤
GOOD MORNING MY FRIEND I JUST WANTED TO SAY STAY STRONG HAVE A BLESSED DAY TEE 💯🙏
It's awful when you can't because it's a parent...
What if the person doesn’t know they’re being toxic and genuinely thinks you’re good friends? Breaking off that friendship might make it seem like you’re ending it for no reason, or blowing it out off proportion. Or if you genuinely think theyre a good person but they just don’t realize they’re toxic?
REAL, or like if they understand that they’re being toxic, and are trying to fix it, but they aren’t really changing anything?
You tell them your reality and experience. Your feelings are valid. If they do not try to change their behaviour and don’t seem to care about improvements or even react negatively to your feelings. Then you must say that you tried but they shut you down and you shouldn’t or don’t have to live with that. So you become strong but kind to yourself. And know there’s much more to life.
I unfortunately had that experience with 2 friends. Happened over the last year or so we were friends. One of them kept saying “I don’t know” whenever I tried arranging a meet-up or whatever before saying no and the other would say she had “really bad family issues that were so bad that she couldn’t get away”. Yeah, I think that sounds silly too. Then maybe a week or so later i would scroll through Instagram and see that at least one of them had posted pictures of the 2 of them doing exactly what I suggested even though they apparently couldn’t go out. I eventually explained to them how I was feeling and how I was being affected, etc. It seemed like they didn’t get the message. They kept trying to get in contact with me for a while. One of them gave up after a couple of months. I felt like I had to explain the whole situation to the other again but I still didn’t think she took the hint. She just sounded very “I know you feel that way but. . .” like she was trying to sound like I was bringing this situation upon myself which is weird because if I did anything, I don’t know what it is and neither of those two people said anything. She messaged me twice since then. I’ve gotten to the point where I blocked them both on all social media and deleted their numbers off my phone. I’m lucky enough that I don’t come in contact with them in person in my day to day life since we don’t have other friends in common and we don’t live and work in the same area. I’ve only met each of them once in person over the last 3 years or so
I just 10 days ago blocked a toxic friend. When they think their beliefs are right, and you should think their way, and they make comments like "don't complain when ... Because you don't see things the way I do"
I would go from being calm to wanting to scream and kick just by having 1 conversation on the phone, or visiting their front yard, bringing out the worst in me, I knew it was time to let go and block them!!
I'm 10 days in the block and move on phase from this manipulative gas lighter.
The nice things they do CAN and WILL be used against you later!
I dont even feel compelled to explain to the toxic person in my life. Im that fed up. Too much negative energy comes from her. I'm just moving on. No one in my circle needs to hear anything from me about it. I'm just removing myself. If she comes my way I'll just say hi and be too busy to talk. I'm just done.
I can't get away from toxic people at work. I can only limit my interactions. It's affecting my work performance. Pay rise was denied, stuck with doing tasks outside of my role and responsibilities. Can't afford to quit my job. When I look at other options, I freeze at making a decision after reading awful employee reviews about the employer... sounds exactly like my current employer. Funnily enough, the only good reviews are from management, or employees that don't do the hard yard dirty work.
One of my classmates has all these qualities. It's about time i stop talking to him. He doesn't care about what happens to me. He just uses me to make himself look superior. Once i told the teacher, and he doubled using me.
I've made my decision. I'm gonna stop being the support in his life.
He broke up with me because he said I was toxic.. but after seeing this, he was. I never blew up on him.
Sending this to my bff rn
Reason: her "Best friend" uses her as a tool to vent to. And doesnt allow her to vent back. Its a really problematic relationship and i hope this helps her.
Thank you so much for the tips. I had tried some of it and it really work. I've never knew how much my friend had been putting her problems on me for the past 2 years. Now that I realized, it's time for a new friendship for me.
i am so glad im out of it. augh, id rather financially struggle than deal with anymore toxicity. ON GOD. GOD IS GOOD!
I had a toxic friend stonewall me for years after an argument over FB.
He now wants to be friends again like nothing happened. Lol nope.
How about actually taking responsibility for throwing away our friendship of 13yrs and apologizing like you mean it.
Yep. my "sister" (not kin but close to me) snapped last Easter. Unfriended me AND ghosted me. So three days ago she sent me a friend request-which takes a lotta nerve-and I accepted it. Not gonna follow her or anything, just wondering if she'll ever apologize.
Mom would say: "If someone wants to leave you, let them go. If they stay, you won't have any peace in your life, in your own house."
Please also don't forget that people with toxic traits sometimes struggle with themselves very much. I've been there too and been a dick to people, but it was mostly just because I was dealing with a lot of personal problems. They feel too. Therapy and compassion help to turn to a better person.
I tearfully told my parents, Does any good person exist in this evil world? The sad part is they won't reply
It's true the hell is empty and the world is full of devils 😢 it's so sad that no one is good... Everyone hates the truth that they are bad 😞 at least rarely some innocent people are there😢
Stonewalling is what my last friend did before cutting me off. They made it really confusing and hard for me to understand what was going on and this video helped give me some clarity of what might’ve been happening. Thanks psych!
I stonewall because, like the video says, when I feel emotionally overwhelmed. My ex did not respect me and she was very intense. I was stuck with her on a two hour car ride and she wanted answers now, so I stonewalled. It’s not that I didn’t want to communicate with her. However since she was being very intense and I felt trapped, I didn’t feel emotionally safe. I would rather have scheduled a time to talk so that we could both calm down.
You have to protect yourself from ALL hurt/harm/danger. Sometimes that includes building a "wall" of boundaries. Don't beg for someone's time; if they have a "toll booth" mentality don't give them any "emotional currency."
As a people pleaser myself, I'm having a hard time to live with toxic parents. What makes it worst is, I don't know how to set a bounderies between us. It's also remind me to my therapist when she said "we can't change people behaviours and you should focus on yourself" :(
I used to handle things like my dad, but now I’m going to change it.
It SEEMS like LITERALLY 99.9% of people in my life are toxic…
I was in a toxic relationship for a couple years. Sometimes I would have a breakdown and cry from all the stress and manipulation, and they would tell me how my breakdown is making them upset 😞 everything always would end up being about them
From a sense of past associations, alliances, and allegiances, I've put up with some very bad behavior. But not anymore. Life is too short and precious, and if it feels like a chore, or a burdensome obligation, then I back off. ( Caveat - that doesn't mean back away from all burdens ; often you have to be there for certain situations, but, not for unnecessary toxicity. )
When it's a neighbour that won't appaulagise for the damage he's done but suies you for the damage he's done and makes you homeless retaliation is the only answer
Honestly, it's so incredibly hard when the toxic person in your life is your dad. It's like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around him, and I actually have the possibility now to go no contact with him in a few years. But it's so difficult having to do that to a parent, especially if you know that it's his worst fear... Granted, he made his own bed on that one, and since I'm 30 years old; he had like 25 years to actually fix the bond with me. But he only continued to be toxic during that time, and I had honestly been dreaming of the day that I could go no contact with him since I was a teenager. But given the instinctual lizard brain bond to a parent here, I'm not sure if I can power through that and actually go through with it. The fact that both my mom would be sad and grandma also said to stay in touch in case something happens to my mom isn't exactly helping either.
Animation adds up to the topic sooooo much
Great job Psych2! ❤
Been trying to give myself space from a toxic friend but they keep asking me to hangout idk what to do 😭
Give yourself permission to say no. I even use no conversation at all, as they glom onto it. Let. Them. Go.
I tried to be away from my stepfather and mother as much as I could when they started bullying me. I couldn’t walk away. They’d yell at me not to walk away from them… and I couldn’t speak while they were…. I just had to wait till they stopped yelling. He would fake happy fun family time…. And I just couldn’t. I wouldn’t act the way he wanted to at the dinner table, all cheery. So he would make fun of me and belittle me for being a teenager. I hated it. My heart was in pain constantly around him. And when I would try to talk to my mom about it privately, he always tried to make sure he was there, walk right in, “What’s going on?” I hated it. I missed my mom. She didn’t know how to deal with my stepfather picking fights with me. She didn’t defend me. She would just walk away and hide in her room. Or yell at me for making him angry.
Then they started grounding me when I had secret boyfriends in highschool because I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend. (I’m still shocked they thought I’d get through highschool without wanting a boyfriend.) I felt so abandoned, abused and alone at home. So when a boy showed interest, wanted to hold my hand and kiss me, I allowed it even though the consequences were horrible. I just wanted to feel warm again. To feel loved again….
We even got some cats from Petco. And one of them was scared and skittish. He likes to stay in my room and he took a big liking to me. He cuddled with me all night and he was my comfort. My only comfort since I was red saved yet. And one day I come home and they tell me they’ve put him up on LSN and Facebook for sale….. because he was too unsociable, stayed in my room all the time, only liked me and ate too much cat food. I still miss Binx. After they sold him, I have never felt that much alone in my life. Binx was always in my room, waiting for me. He would paw and lick my tears away when I had to silently cry in my room.
My l stepfather was narcissistic and evil, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. My mom was passive because she had to grow up that way to survive. But she eventually sided with him on everything and made it my fault that he was upset.
I found a wonderful man who is nothing like my parents. We married fast, been together 6 years, 2 beautiful kids. And I have cut off contact/communication with my parents after constant abuse from them even after I married. My husband protect me and I love it.
I just yesterday started reaching out for therapy which is terrifying. But I want to be better for my kids, for my husband, for my friends and for myself. I don’t want to have panic attacks and shut downs at stressful situations. I don’t want to see my children as annoying because my body is freaking out all the time.
Hi I have an idea for the next video and I have this problems like a lot so this is my idea:
"Things you do when someone misunderstands the situation and think that it is their fault"
Hope this helps 😊
What if walking away doesn't work such as they don't take no for an answer as if they won't let you walk away?
Keep walking and fend them off!
After many years of being in a toxic relationship, I found out tonight I'm escaping a very toxic relationship next week. I think they sense something because they have been love bombing me for a couple of weeks. I haven't been me for over 10 years.
What if those toxic persons are my own family, my parents ?
Great video and very helpful ❤
Hm well you can just limit your interactions with them.. That's what I am doing right now to be honest.
Thanks for this great topic, however in my case the toxic person have all the keys that i need to get away so it is unbelievably hard to get to the basic goal of getting away for that person. It also doesn't help that is the immediate blood relative i have and sharing the place to live with too.
As in India people don't seem to care about mental health issues and general psychology and often ignore the visible symptoms all parents want here is to get good grades and 10th ans 12th std. are very crucial years of a student's life so the community only expects them to study all the time and make self care very difficult as they think it is a waste of time the mindset of the people here is trash and toxic and it seems like they don't care about the increase in number of students suicide rate and refuse to change their mind set or send their visibly depressed kid to a therapist as their are less no. Of therapist because the community thinks it's not a real job and so going to therapy is very rare and this channel makes psychology and tips for mental health improvement available to everyone in a simple language love u♥️
I'm in a situation like this and unfortunately I've reached option 4 while I've always wanted option 1... she reuses help and keeps... doing what she wants that pushes me away while actively pushing me away as well simply because I wouldn't do what she wanted anymore...
Yall my friend just stonewalled me. So I saw this vid, and now I know what to do. Thank you ❤
Same
I dont Stonewall, I RUN 🏃 AWAY!
I hate learning how toxic I am. No more.
It's all about self-awareness and approaching ways to change. You're on the right path!
Thats all true, they treat you like you are the one who toxic not them
I like pineapples
same
same
Not me…😅
Me to I but I don't like apples 😂
@@Keiron-pw6sl pine
This is exactly my ex's behavior, extremely toxic, I should have left him sooner 😢
My ex husband has same toxic traits , luckily God helped me and he gave me divorce after three months of marriage, obviously its not a long time period,but still i can feel the pain i was going through because of him, I can't trust anyone anymore
I have a few friends who are like this and they have alot of things in common with the points talked about i will try some of these things because they are having quite a bad effect on me as of late
Thank you! This definitely helped :)
You're welcome! Do share this video, you might help someone else too!
It's kinda problem if it's your sibling, sometimes parents and grandparents😅 you can't talk to them, because they will never admit their fault. In this family have almost never been said those words: ,, I'm sorry"
So i had to learn it on my own to admit my fault And to say ' I'm sorry', so i can be better, but i will never say it to them, because they take it as a weakness and use it against you 😅
Stonewalling is very misunderstood. People that stonewall do so because you were being toxic. They tried to get you to be accountable for your actions yet you refused and tried to trample over them.
Stonewalling is a direct refusal to become toxic and lash out and is usually done by intelligent and reasonable people who actually care about you and do not want to continue to be hurt by you but do not want to hurt you.
You say oh they are toxic because they refuse to interact. No they are just tired of being hurt. A relationship does not require conflict. A relationship requires reason, love, understanding, communication, and growth. You sit there lashing out in anger hurting each other over and over trying to win the conflict until finally you calm down and talk things thru with reason and logic and communication and understanding comes. Why for the love of God do you sit there and say the conflict step is in any way healthy? It litteraly is pointless. All it does is cause you to hurt each other to the point where one person is defeated and submits. That is not a healthy relationship and never will be.
Stonewalling can be used in a toxic way that is 100% true. Manipulative people will try to use it to get you to submit to them. It can be used as a passive gaslighting tool. The key is that who uses the stonewalling and for what reasons they use it.
Is it being used to protect themselves from you or are they using it to manipulate you? That is the determining factor.
We all know that when dealing with a toxic manipulator the only thing you can actually do is remove them from your life. But ask yourself what happens to the person that uses stonwalling for defense from your toxic behavior? They eventually may take on huge psycological damages and close the whole world off from themselves because all they get is pain, anger, and rejection.
If you have a stonwaller in your life first look inwards and ask yourself is this person blocking me out because they want me to submit to them or is it because I refuse to act approprietly and lash out at them in almost every interaction we have. Am I the toxic person.... chances are you will start to remember some really messed up things you did and continue to do. And if you change your toxic ways you can see those walls crumble down one day. But if the person stonewalling is doing so because they are toxic and controlling get away from them run because they are trying to train you to be their puppet.
The easiest way to tell the difference is if you activly alter your toxic behavior while attempting to interact with the stonewaller. If they start responding more openly smiling more and seem to come to life and look at you again and put aside distractions to interact with you then yes you are the problem. If they start trying to further manipulate you and coerce your behavior towards what they want "manipulation" then they are the toxic person.
Not everyone is interested in being a part of conflict they are smart enough to understand it is a pointless and wasteful and damaging activity. When a war is started there can only be 1 victor and many resources are damaged or destroyed in the proccess. The victor claims the spoils and maybe they gain more than they had originally or maybe they end up with less. But the loser always has to submit or be destroyed. And the winner is not always the one who was in the right.
Conflict is not the answer....stop driving good people behind walls. Take acountability for your on behavior and actions. Look in the mirror and ask yourself why you feel you need to hurt the person you love. I know most your life you were trained to not think by those around you and it is not your fault they punished you for it. But you have to free yourself from the chains that bind your mind. Stop erasing your own memories and creating huge gaps in your life just because you want to deny your sins. Face who you are and change for the better. Just maybe you will start to reactivate the dormant parts of your brain that have been shut down.
W take up here.
I admit that stonewall my mother because I have given up to talk and rationalize with her years ago. When you try to speak with someone and they not only they refuse to understand you and take accountability of their (in)actions, but also their enviorement (the rest of my family) validates her and always puts emotions over reason, you eventually get exhausted and you just shut down and refuse to waste time with someone that clearly cares more about being right and feeling themselves temporaily good at cost of your mental wellbeing.
As a general rule of thumb, If you feel someone is stonewalling you, think about why they could be doing it and do some introspection. Chances are, you are the one being toxic.
@@sliterhedgehog I am sorry you have had to do this. I know it hurts to love people who are not capable of love. Do not let it consume you. Do not let hatred fester in your heart. God bless and peace to you. Shalom.
@@andrewcollins2060Thank you for your words. Best wishes for you too.
Thanks for writing. No reaction is often best with an NPD "person", if they can provoke you, they will, time and time again. I'm grateful for the life lessons these toxic creatures bring, love yourself & never accept disrespect off anyone ever.
Why we cant leave them is cause we have NOONE else to replace them ...
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, I HAVE TO SAY YES TO ALL OF THIS TOPIC 💯 PERCENT, WHAT IF THE PERSON IS YOUR PARENT AND YOU LIVE WITH THEM, IT'S HARD WHEN IT'S YOUR ONLY PARENT, HAVE A BLESSED DAY 💯🙏💪💙
💯You too!!!
I may add that toxic people are also behaving this way out of envy, jealousy and sloth. It's easy to ruin others' life than minding your own business and work towards your goals.
Am a toxic, i know now. :)thanks, will work on them to be a better person.
My husband is NPD, my son autistic, my daughter is very very self focused and spoiled, as well as my sister and M.I.L. And her spouse have dementia aka SELF centered ness….it leaves no one.
Yes but im toxic to myself how do i remove myself
You don't. Find you a psych dr. or counselor. But sometimes you will be at odds with yourself. Accept it; as it is a part of you and running from it will hurt you more in the long run.
I have now a real toxic friend. She doesn't understand my boundaries, my perspectives, my purposes( like, I'm studying not even so hard, just for my exams and that bothers her, like I'm doing smth wrong to her, but my interests don't have connection with our friendship) , that I have hobbies and other people to speak, if I said her that I have bff(my toxic friend really thinks that we don't speak at least a year and I consider her my bff because I don't have friends in her opinion) she would definitely become more agressive and have stress and blame me in everything( I dunno why I care about this). I'm trying to defend my boundaries for over a 2 months and she doesn't understand, that I don't want to be friends with her anymore because of her disgusting attitude(she even makes me shame cause always argue with different(kind) teachers in front of the class). And also, she is so selfish and jealous, care only about her , wants to make my studying worse, because:"You should put me(not even a friendship) on first place of important things in your life, not put me under your career cause it's boring🙄". Also she always pretends like the only victim it's she and I'm the real toxic friend. That's why I feel guilty. But on the other hand realise that she just manipulates. Our friendship began she, I didn't really want to start talk with her and today I told her everything, what annoys me about her ans she about me. But, after that, she again doesn't understand,that we're so different and can't be friends, she truly supposes I'm interested in her and don"t want to break the bound. I hope I will visit psychologist, because it affected so much on my mental health.
Wow, this was very helpful, specially since I have a sibling and I was wondering how to deal with it. If it's someone that you can't just be away because both live in the same house it's very rough and I feel like I'm following her mind games. I wish could know a bit more about how to manage feelings surround a toxic sibling. I'm very empathetic and it gets tiring because I always get emotional when things don't go well between us 😢❤ Thanks for the info 😊
Wait... Having to control mood of other person...?
I mean now that you say it b-but...
I learned to look out for it since I remember... I...
Parents can be nervous, so keeping their mood in mind is just preventing them from lashing out-... Not causing problems...
I don't know...
Stonewalling! Damn it! I knew the existence of such a concept! I suffered a lot from this.
I wish I had this months ago. I’m happy you keep making these toxic videos❤
Totally Difficult when it's your own Children.
Especially when you end up living in her home with her..
I feel im stuck. Especially with my current situation of boyfriend and I starting to spiral into depression
Dont invest in wrong people,they will break you into pieces,i am going through from this pain ,i was married with the person 17months before,and now he gave me divorce,i was in shock,but now im feeling grateful,he was so toxic , manipulative person i have ever seen in my life,im shattered because of his abusive behavior but soon i ll be fine
I have a desk mate... She is the only one who i have as a FAKE friend. She just uses me for all her needs like if she is absent, asking for what was written on that day, putting all the things which is so small and the situation which does not need to be talked about on me and so on. We have a enemy in our class and she talks about them each and every time even if that person comes near us for some other reasons. I have a crush on some one and that person's class is just near our class, he walks by our class most of the time for their needs. I told about him to my deskmate and she told me to show him, and i too showed and i don't have any one to talk about him even my sister cuz she tells to our parents, so whenever i talk about my crush, she always say that she don't like this talk and want to get rid of me and my talk. But i have not talked that much about my crush than she did about our enemy. She has a youtube channel and she alwayss copies my ideas and doesn't give any of my credits, i have talked about that to her many times whenever that topic comes up, but she just jumps to another topic and sometimes she even blamed me for that...
She uses me as a machine which gives whatever she wants‽ She will always tells me when to do or tell something. I suffered a lot from stonewalling. Thank you so much for this video! I now really knew how to get rid of her! While typing this long message, i felt like i took out a big stone form my head. Thanks a lot this video will really help me out managing her!!!!❤❤
The mood o meter lol oh yes i do this one a lot at my job. People are just a pain in the ass.
I have my own mother who she is super toxic and she is not at all concerned about me all the signs are genuinely the same.
Ive been trying my best but its like i can still feel the toxic pain and i feel like giving up because everything i try they take it out on me and blame certain things on me and they avoid the situation by changing the subject and realizing how hurt i am😢😭😓
Never give up,if its that much painful for you ,you should choose option no 4, everything will be fine soon ,but dont give up
It's time to walk away.....
Love the "mood o meter" references lol shared ❤
Thanks for noticing! :D
@@Psych2go absolutely 💯
Haven't watched your vids in a while
Loving the new animation!
Question. Can you explain a bit more about pets in regards to losing one?
I have a really toxic bff and I try to talk to her but she keeps lying saying she likes me and them I still keep hearing that she actually gossips of how much she hates me and I don't know what to do she's giving me mad silent treatment making me feel bad for her problems and talks only to her new bff
Reading your comment i think you already know what to do.
I know i should talk to her but she keeps lying and making fun of me i dont know how to deal with that i really dont wanna leave her even tho i klnow she hates me i dont know how i even feel about her anymore@@geemail369
@@ImtotallystableYou can try to move on from her. Talking sometimes isn't a choice that is worth it to take. Sometimes at the end you'll only be hurting yourself.
Thank you so much, this video is really helpful