Should You Date Your Colleague? | TDK Podcast
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ส.ค. 2022
- Where are the boundaries drawn between colleagues? is it ok to flick your bros nipples? How to manage friends at work.
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Cast:
• Johnathan Chua / johnathanchua
• Daniel Lim / danlim11
• Jonathan Paul / jonathanpaul.sxw
• Denise Oh / ohthedenise
Behind the Cam:
• Nashrul Merza
• Julian Chin
• Daren Khek
• Raqim Ramli
• Nabil Ahmad
• Charlene Goh
Edited by:
Crelyn Chai - บันเทิง
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My suggestion is to avoid asking for a ride. Many people wants alone time when driving. Don't risk putting others in a awkward position to reject you, or feel pressured to say ok. People who are ok to drive others will usually automatically offer the moment they find out the colleague lives nearby.
If really wanna try luck, ask the person if he/she would be open to consider letting you hitch a ride, and you will compensate them monetarily. Go calculate how much that petrol will roughly cost for the journey, for a month. Half the amount. And every month make sure to pay the driver that amount plus a bit more, because it's tiring to drive. If driver declines, make sure to give angbao or give a present of equivalent accumulated value when the opportunity comes. Like birthday or Christmas or housewarming.
Never ever treat it as a free ride. Covering petrol cost is the least one can do. There are much cost to owning a car. Don't be an ass hoping to take advantage of another person.
"why would you press spacebar twice" - my takeaway from this video
Wondering what happened to John's mic audio. abit echo-y than usual.
someone forgot turn off reverb XD
All I know is - its okay to have a colleague become a friend, but work still comes first. It might not be a good idea on the other hand, for a close friend (whom you've never worked with as a colleague before) to become a colleague. A good friend does not mean he/she makes a good work buddy.
Petition to have uploads in the mornings so i can listen to it otw to work!!!
Please do an ep on MBTI personality traits! I can feel like dan is an INFJ relatable to me who feel a reponsibility to small talk when with 2-3 people around and always considering of other people feelings making sure they are comfortable with you
MBTI, It's pseudo, as much as I love Carl Jung. And it's infested with young people lacking analytical, fact-checking abilities. Highly anecdotal and full of confirmation biases. Mbti was not created by jung but rather a bunch of covertly vain people. Jung was a professor of socionics.
I think this is the "realest" podcast in SG i have heard in awhile. Every podcast I have been hearing on this channel so far is so relatable and resonates well with what actually happens in the current world. I hope this culture and vibe will not get diluted in such a monetizable society. Jiayou!
Everyday I find out I’m more and more like Dan
My favorite part of the podcast is when you talk about your own company work culture and the awkward parts when John has to explain things as a boss to the rest. It’s almost like I’m peeking into a internal work meeting. For some reason I find that entertaining lol . It would be interesting if you guys make more content along these lines… Like the Office / Conan O’Brien vibes.
When a colleague is not taking work seriously, we are to be professional and talk to that colleague about it.
When a friend is not doing his/her work properly, as a friend, we will talk to them about it.
So when a colleague becomes a friend, a true friend, that conversation shouldn't be too difficult to have. Just pull them one side and talk to them about it when the opportunities comes.
I miss this kind of long but interesting perspectives video! It really feels like I'm joining a private convo with deep talks
Fostering a good relationship in the office is so important! Keeps the employees looking forward to coming to work. For me, I have built good friendships within my company and there are times when we have conflicting ideas at work which we make sure we talk it in a work way (not get personal). Its like a switch where we have to be aware that having a heated discussion at work doesnt mean I dont want to still go for our dinner after ;)
100% resonate with Denise. I maintain a distance w colleagues esp subordinates otherwise it is hard to give feedback
Office romance i can’t speak up about it, but on the part of why people right now leaving does not announce where they going i can relate. As previously i resign from my 6years working in the xxxx company, i got a offer from another xxx company with alot higher salary. So my close colleague asked where i am going i told the coworker. Soon after, that coworker suddenly announce to me it resign and joined the same new company as i am heading too!! What made me annoyed is that coworker uses my name to the new boss and asking for the same salary as me as that coworker didnt get that offer price as me (since that person is relatively new in the working environment) which caused me in a awkward situation as the HR and boss know we came from the same company and we shared the salary offered. Making the new boss on my first day telling me that salary are private and confidential etc. I know it is but god know the person suddenly decide to go for the company and ask for any position available. And also is my fault for trusting too much to that colleague.
P.S. into the 1month it was too uncomfortable with my new boss and i can feel the biases from that boss. And i resign.. but i got into a happier place now. Is really a lesson learnt from that.
Honestly, i think the word "friends" has been used to loosely. Most cases is people friendly with which is mainly to keep the work place in harmony..
Just wanna say that you guys are really solid. Quality viewpoints, quality convo. My dad even thought it was a radio show. 👍👍🤙🤙
Work always comes work for me. That, and I dislike bringing work home unnecessarily. The downside of this approach is that I slowly became the least close member of my work-friends group lol. They love conversing at work, but end up having to put in extra hours at home.
I guess the difference is like what Dan mentioned - some people need the extra interaction to be able to optimise their work. They can function better, are happier and more willing to work hard when they are also having a good time with their colleagues. I respect that and how they do things, but I'm just not the same way. I enjoy random 5-min joking around sessions to jolt my brain and have bite-sized fun, but not hour-long conversations; the latter would increase instead of decrease my stress because I'd be constantly thinking about the work awaiting me.
I've since quit, and the one person I still keep in touch with is a work friend (not from that group) who had a similar approach to me. No regrets. It's better to do what works for you, and if some sacrifices have to be made along the way, just make sure you do a good job of weighing the pros and cons before committing to one approach.
As someone newly joining the workforce at the start or midst of covid. With everyone working from home it is daunting starting out in a new environment. Even with everyone slowly returning to the office, it feels alien to interact while everybody else is in a warm and in a jovial mood with each other.
If I end up with a responsibility to send you home whenever possible, I end up having to account to you whenever I am NOT going home. "Sorry John today I am going out so not sending you back today." It's totally alright not to send people home. Once in awhile would be okay but not make it like a constant.
Plus not everyone wants to gain your favour or be too close to you.
A good solution for this is for hitchhiker to offer and insist forking out some money. So it's more of a transaction than a favour.
In my industry (commercial aviation) we have what we call a sterile cockpit environment, where non essential conversation must not occur during the climb and descent phase of a flight. As sometimes we do work with good friends on certain duties, one can get carried away in conversation. So I feel a hard stop rule should be implemented by management where its time to work and time to socialize. I thought the company with the red/green flag idea was quite brilliant.
This ep is so real and funny. I have rewatched twice.. really hope can upload faster, I do not need to rewatch older eps while waiting.. hahaha
Can you guys do an EP talking about the finance guru ads plaguing TH-cam?
Don't forget the Aftershock ad that plays also. Bloody annoying.
for me, i uphold mutual respect very much, you can take breaks, talk and all but at least you must know when u have to work you work, and if you need the break you take it. If the trust and respect is gone, be it abusing their freedom at workplace or abusing their kind boss, or just start to be toxic towards other colleagues then it is a definite red flag and i will consider to fire them if they dont change after being told off. to me it is impossible to work with fake people and non genuine actions because i find that very disgusting, especially in our line of job
The culture in a brand new start up, a concept proven but improvising start up, government and agency are so different. I have worked in all. The company and job scope would have attracted certain type of employees. In addition, culture is created by the employees. While employers have a small part to play during hiring, it is always everyone's role to contribute.
can i just say,, I REALLY LIKE THIS EPISODE
I love Jon’s wheezing laughs
My best mates now is my group of ex-colleagues so much so we were each other's bridesmaids. We are 14years strong
WHEN YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO A COLLEAGUE IN THE OFFICE.....
THERE SHOULD BE NO RULES IN THE LAW.OF ATTRACTION❤
Can be friends only if in different departments. Not everyone has good working values. Being friends also open the opportunities for lazy people to ask you to solve their work problems without you receiving any kind of gratitude or acknowledgement from the companu. Which is OK if it's once in a while. But i kena one which is like daily. And then I realize 90% of her time was spent on watching movies at work, while I'm doing the hard work for her. Granted the hard work for her was easy and quick for me but she got a consistent pay raise while not improving.
Compassion, yes, but also distant.
1st for algo! Singaporean fan in Japan!
00:00 Introduction and the issue of work friends not offering to send each other home
02:29 Conversation about the importance of expressing gratitude for favors and assistance
03:15 Explanation of the speaker's habit of accidentally pressing the spacebar twice while texting
04:00 Debate on the pros and cons of offering to send someone home regularly
06:12 Personal anecdotes about the speaker's experiences with offering and receiving rides
10:33 Examples of physical touch as a boundary crossed in the workplace
11:27 Personal anecdotes and experiences with physical touch in professional settings
16:00 Different perspectives on maintaining boundaries and friendships with co-workers
21:27 The awkwardness of pursuing a colleague as a supervisor
22:00 Advice on finding out if the colleague is interested
23:06 Revealing the crush to friends
23:38 The importance of friendships at work
25:05 Choosing bridesmaids and groomsmen
26:18 The significance of having a best friend at work
27:38 The shift in office culture regarding friendships
30:02 Balancing friendships and productivity at work
32:29 Making friends at work and the balance between friendship and work
33:18 Hanging out with co-workers after work and maintaining work-life balance
34:00 Challenges of addressing work-related issues with friends at work
35:01 Different ways of communicating with colleagues based on their needs
36:14 Navigating the friendship-work relationship and setting boundaries
38:44 The importance of clear communication and addressing conflicts
39:29 Company culture and fostering a positive work environment
40:18 Balancing friendship and work as a boss
41:48 The need to distance oneself from social activities when managing a team
43:05 The value of office culture and its impact on millennials and gen zeus
44:01 Ending the discussion and inviting viewers to share their own experiences
Noooo. I use the full stop all the time!
I am only saddened that none of the managers here said that they would actively foster a mentor relationship with their subordinates. This is something I passionately instill in every manager that has ever worked with me. It is heartwarming when people call you their mentor years after they have left the company.
There's different types of people.
I'd still consider ex-colleagues as friend, the same way as other communities, for eg, school, volunteer group etc.
Just that mainly colleagues has "financial" implications when it comes to this friendship.
Whereas for the other groups, "financial" implication isn't there, so it'll be more likely to develop for the interest of each other.
But generally, "relationship" from work don't develop too far after awhile.
1）天下无不散之筵席。
2）没有永远的敌人；只有永远的利益。
I developed a relationship with my team leader and now I get 5-star appraisals every year without putting in effort.
John has a cool hoodie, where to buy?
Curious about other people's definition of "stay near". I am in this scenario where I have a friend that lives 10-15mins (total 20-30mins detour) away from me and he always asks for a ride home. Will you guys agree if he asked if he can get a ride back home from you?
I will tell him nicely that it is not convenience for me cos of the detour then tell him that but I can drive him till somewhere then he continue the rest of the journey on his own.
yoo the office as the thumbnail
what do I do if i like my colleague who is married?
That being said... What about working together with your family members like aunt/uncle or brother in law/sister in law???
I'm the same as Dan. I'll freak out if I had 5 mins prep time to socialise with someone eg. If someone offered me a ride last minute. I've rejected many rides home even though I'm really tired because I'm too tired to socialise. And if I need to hang out with people one on one I'll plan conversation prompts.
we feel you!
33:54 tanks for the asMr
JP & Denise 😍
😍😍
pple might be doing carpooling
Denise water bottle nail it
How about your friend always or everyday got free ride. Are you gonna asked him for petrol share?
Yalor not even on time. People give u a lift have the courtesy to wait at the pickup point. Now don’t even remember you.
Well... sidetrack a bit...If you had a spare room in your house, would you let someone like your colleague, maybe a foreigner stay in it for free?
I feel the love you encompasses all the thank you and sorry since when in a r/s its all about me and my partner.
and when a person say too much thank you and sorry it really negates the meaning of the words.
say it when you mean it.
but every one has their own form of communications.
My workgf kept " roger that " over the phone in a theme park where we all had to use walkie talkies
cos I was a signaller so I kept Serra Mike Lima Juliet when she nags at me thru coms... only the guys who went thru NS knows this. and she eventually replied with Foxtrot Oscar lol.
cos every one " shipped " us so....
EHHHHHHH Dan is a Altar Boy !
haha so much fun times.
I won't pick the oldest friend... I will pick the guy who will say the dumb shit cos I don't want boring stuff.
I love the culture over job and pay.
the r/s should be good to get work done.
other than that just move on.
no leh i would choose my closest friends as bridesmaids leh
Noooo don’t say out your female partner’s age, especially when she is older than you.
Algooooo
DONT BE SO LEGALISTIC..
.IT IS SO EXHAUSTING TO PUT SO MANY RULES IN A WORKPLACE ❗️❗️❗️❗️
Y’all need to stay on topic abit more. I watch until 40min also haven’t hear anything about dating colleague 😑
Algooooooooooooo
I love this podcast but really need to digress less from the topic of the video that people click into or edit better pls.
Haha I love the digressions though
JP so sus eh. Denise is just a decoy right...........
Hhh.
As you go higher up the corporate ladder, it is really a lonelier journey! 🫣 more toxicity and politics happens especially at middle level management in bigger organisations and it’s tough to trust anyone in the workplace sadly. It is definitely hard to have a true friend at the workplace to share your woes with, before you know it, you get sabotaged the next day 😅