Charging your oldest son $750/mo, for four years while he is in college? And not impose the same on the other kids?? How can he get a leg up in life like that??? OP's parents are incredibly lopsided in their "lessons"! Him getting a job showed how responsible and driven he was and in response they punished him for it. If they were trying to teach him to be independent, that life isn’t fair, and that the only person he can trust is himself then congrats on them because they’ve succeeded and they can reap what they’ve sowed.
I have heard it put this way, The eldest child is the burnt waffle. The parents tried to do something they thought was a good idea and realized how it affected the eldest. They then changed it, often softening their approach, for the younger siblings benefit. This often leaves the oldest bitter at the injustice.
That’s what I must’ve missed. I couldn’t understand why OP was so mad. But I can see if the parent charged like $100 or something to get him used to budgeting for living expenses but $750 is way too much for a college student at home, especially to expect him to share and do everything else with his siblings.
And I feel like they’ll still pull this crap on their other kids and the kids will play along because they’ve disregarded OPs warning. But I see that they’ll be more screwed because grandpa won’t help them like he did OP.
@@darabounds6671 Except... they should have realized it was WAY too much after the first year when OP was giving up EVERYTHING fun in order to work and give them money. Mom and Dad are clearly idiots. I have to believe gender also played a role in their decision making.
1st story: The wife got rejected and is now falling back on her husband. The worst part of that post was how OP had to preemptively defend himself from the onslaught of cheater apologists and victim blamers.
2nd story: my partner recently had to go in for some tests and had to wait 24 hours without solids, I made sure when I picked her up from the doctors that I had food with me for her as I knew she would be starving. why did OP's girlfriend not do something similar? even if its just a salad roll or something.
he said without food, so i think it wasn't no-solids, just nothing other than water, i had a test like that once and after a while you start to feel nausea and eating becomes oddly uncomfortable, he order for himself something that he can swallow easily and she doesn't even let him have that instead of fucking ordered!, that she is hungry?! pleaaase lady don't insult him in the face, sheesh.
@@dinlupus3196when I first heard this story I thought she was going to make some bs excuse like, “I only had a salad today and worked extra hard in Pilates this afternoon!”
Exactly! I had to get a test done with anesthesia last year, couldn't eat anything for 24 hours before the test. My dad picked me up and had teriyaki chicken and white rice waiting in the truck for me. I couldn't eat all of it of course, but I still appreciated the thought.
Last story: I don’t think SIL understands what’s happening here. Riley assaulted a pregnant woman trying to assault her husband for touching his jacket, banning him from your house is actually the nicest thing you could do in situation where a crime was committed. And given he’s had problems with the law before I doubt if you called the cops on him now a judge will be lenient on him. Not to mention no one gets this eager to fight over someone touching their jacket unless they have something in the jacket they don’t want people messing with. So maybe SIL except the situation without complaining before you change your mind and use your right to call the police and charges.
Yeah, I think that there was something in that jacket! At first, I thought drugs, but when you mentioned checking their house for wayward items... Yeah, check that jacket. He needs therapy & meds! 😢
Honestly think they should call the cops. Or should have. Riley is going to jail eventually, hopefully before he kills someone. That boy is dangerous. Also, last I checked assaulting a pregnant woman is a SERIOUS felony charge.
Something stinks at the SIL’s house, and it’s why Riley is a fucking psycho. I wouldn’t think psychopathic or sociopathic, but clearly unhinged. The parents, I believe, are a HUGE source of what is going on. Riley needs to be committed, medicated, and receive ongoing therapy. The 6yo needs therapy to process the trauma he experienced at the hands of his awful brother and neglectful parents.
Yeah. Rslash is VERY exploitive with his thumbnails and video titles 4 videos from the last 2 weeks have the phrase “i like kids” in the thumbnail, its so damn annoying
Yeah it's weird! I see other reddit TH-camrs with similar thumbnails in my recommended videos mixed in with Rslash and I instinctively avoid all of those like the plague.
Story 3 has an update : OP got a talk with everyone and decided to unlock the parents. He took the cheque, banked it, and reblocked them. He gave like 4k to his GF and that's all, iirc.
Story 1: your wife lied to you, cheated on you, then when it wasn’t good, decided to tell you the truth, but basically wanted a divorce without the divorce part, she wants everything back the way it was but she screwed up. She trying to let you do whatever you want. Honestly I wouldn’t fault OP whatever decision is, being with someone who is constantly flip-flopping is emotionally draining.
I have a doctors way on it . I don’t the wife lied but I think she was planning on having an affair and didn’t like seeing the affair partner’s love sausage so she went back to op and came clean . She wanted op to do whatever he wanted and then she starts having regret and remorse.
And I’m betting she’s thinking her rubby dubby feelings will tempt OP to not find partners but she “keep the marriage open”. OP I know you’re thinking about the kids but divorce would be better than whatever this is
I feel bad for Op but in a positive notice he may be unwillingly and unknowingly torturing her, sice cheaters love to antagonize the other part as a way to dont feel guilty or remorseful, but Op is so passive that doing so can make her feel worse. that being said Op is also in a torture, he didn't divorce her sooner and now his kids believe that everything is ok and trying to divorce when your kids believe that you and your partner has reconciled ...it can shatter them and the fault may fall upon Op....
But with her luvy dovy 💩, she’s thinking she can manipulate him into staying loyal and the marriage be open just for her. She “begs” OP what she can do to make things right but that’s for her to figure out. It’s on her to do the legwork not OP. I hope OP realizes divorce would be better than whatever this is
@@KadeStringer2.0 I think she tried to get serious with him and he made it clear he was only interested in sex and dumped her, now she wants OP back. That's usually what happens.
Story 3: OP's boss is a real one. "I'm surprised you didn't ask sooner" is a pretty big compliment and shows just how willing he is to let OP get some well-deserved rest after all the work he'd been putting in. At least someone cares.
@@akl2k7 the going back to attack after the fact screams drugs. sure if someone stole something, hid it in the jacket, then the jacket gets touched, they would probably get agro, but once its realised that it was only being moved and they were 'safe' all should be done with.
PLUS what good partner knows their SO hasn't eaten in so long and wouldn't bother having something already prepared for them to eat as soon as they got home.
And we know some would become most of not all. OP would still be starving. She has no empathy and or she’s just lazy. She can cook! Heck! OP offered to order food for her!
@@seekeroftruth6728 Absolutely not. GF is presumably an adult. OP did the correct thing... he ask her if she wanted him to order food for her, multiple times. If she decided to play games OR simply be indecisive she can deal with the consequences of that. It's certainly not on OP. wtaf? Also it's not like she can't make food at home, like she said she preferred to do OR just order something for herself.
@@Diamondr11Blue In case of a divorce, alimony is awarded to the spouse with the smaller income. In this case the Wife will be forced to pay alimony, since she earns more.
@@Fruad_jo Not only sexism. In most traditional households husbands are the primary breadwinners, while wives take care of the house and kids. Even when both spouses work, usually wives get a lighter and less-paid job, so they can focus on the kids. So, because the majority of the cases are such, most people presume that the husband always has to pay alimony and child support, while in reality alimony is awarded to the spouse with the lesser income and child support is awarded to the spouse with primary custody.
Rent story: this would've been a good idea if the "rent" was more symbolic, like 50 bucks that the parents would match each month and make it a nice bonus for graduation. Also the parents mentality is just weird, it's like :" Our son is being responsible? LET'S OVERWORK HIM TO THE POINT OF COLLAPSE!"
I'm pretty sure the majority of young adults that have gone through what OP did, have actually tried to off themselves at least once, so what those "parents" did, is utterly disgusting, I think it happens more frequently in some Asian countries
@@brendanboomhour7606 Oh yes, those cultures where the parents will shun you if you don't go to university and become a doctor, lawyer, or get any 6-7-figure-paying job.
I’m not sure how it is in other Asian countries but from my experience Asian children stay with their parents rent free untill they get a job or a significant other.
@@Hellow68 not always, and when I say Asian, I don't mean only Chinese, Korean and Japanese (the core three when one thinks "Asian"), I'm including East Asian countries too, and India seems to have a little bit of a habit of doing exactly what OP's parents did, especially if the kid's a girl
SIl : Riley has been getting better! Then Riley shoves a pregnant lady, for no reason she wasnt in his way, she was just trying to talk to him, he even agreed with OP that he needed to calm down and he still felt the need to put his hands on a pregnant lady to fight with her husband...for moving his jacket. Yea, she could have pressed charges against Riley and with Rileys history, he'd most likely go to juvie. SIL should be kissing OP's feet for not calling the cops on him, not giving her grief for not allowing the potential danger that is Riley into her home ever again
3rd story had an update: OP's parents wanted to talk so OP went to their house. They talked and OP'S parents offered him the check again, he took it, deposit it, waited for the check to clear, then blocked the parents. He's cutting them off. OP then gave some money to his "Girlfriend" (FWB) as thanks for helping him with everything.
I could understand a nominal rent or whatever, but not at the expense where he's either working, school or sleeping. Much of the college experience is venturing away from home, forming relationships outside of family, and being able to explore and find yourself. OP's parents prevented and hindered all that. OP learned a valuable lesson. His parents are jerks and he's better off. I hope his new job offers him the opportunities he missed.
I'm not sure what the parents intent was? Perhaps they really wanted to make savings for him. But regardless of intent, they took money from him at a time when he really needed it and gave it back to him when he didn't need it anymore, so pretty terrible move.
Good on OP. They were probably hoping for a redemption party. However I don’t see OPs siblings being in the clear but they were warned and old enough to see what OP went through
My 15 years old nephew pushing my pregnant wife and trying to fight me? Nah that dude is lucky not to wake up underneath a white ceiling in a room with lots of beeps. This mother needs some serious help for her child because clearly there's bigger issues at hand. I feel the most fit the little brother who's going to grow up with that on his life.
Is it just me or do parents treat their 15-17 teenagers as kids today? In other stories on here when the teenagers were referred to as kids the parents would try to make it seem like because they are a kid they don’t know any better or to go easy on them. When I was a teen growing up I and others my age were treated like young adults because we acted like young adults. I mean we still did dumb things as adolescents but we had enough sense to respect ppl older than us and had a certain amount of responsibilities already.
Yep that kid would be lucky to leave my house alive if he shoved my PREGNANT WIFE. I honestly would have called the police and had him arrested immediately. I would not have put it in the parent’s hands to try and discipline the kid because it obviously hasn’t worked. A day or two in jail can be very eye opening for unruly juveniles.
Riley would’ve woken up in a pine box six feet under if he pulled that in my household. One way or another, if SIL doesn’t get Riley the help he needs, she’ll lose both her sons. It also sounds like she doesn’t care that OP could’ve lost the baby when Riley attacked her
Story 1. Ohh what a flip, I can bet her f buddy dumped her and broke her self esteem/confidence. This is why she's so apologetic and desperate to keep op in her life, as a husband, not as a last resort.
The fact that his parents gave him the money back makes me wonder what was going on from their perspective. Getting kids to pay rent and saving that money to give back to them later is actually a really good thing you can do for your kids. It helps them get into the habit and mindset that their money will need to be split up for necessities *and* helps young people save up, sometimes enough for a deposit for a mortgage when they move out. BUT, only doing it to those kids who choose to get a job? Nah. Someone done effed up there.
@@Dragonemperess I mean, where I live rent is about twice what he paid, for a 1-bedroom apartment. IIRC, it's actually cheaper to get a 2-bedroom apartment, and with that you could also get a roommate to share the expense with and save even more money.
Also apparantly the amount was ludicrously high. 750$, on top of that he was paying his own tuition AND food and paying for all his own necessities. He was basically working a full time job next to his classes. All, only to get it back after 4 years, with interest rates being at 10%. Thanks for burning my money whilst I had to put my entire life on hold to earn that.
Makes me think that the mood swings are the sign of a hormone imbalance. She's about the right age to start pre-menopause. Not an excuse to kill her marriage, but a possible explanation for her behavior.
@@asmith8692I’ve read another story recently where the OPs wife was horrible to him for a year and when he told her to seek help, she filed for divorce. By the time she got help, found out she is peri menopausal, she tried to rescind the divorce only for OP to refill because he moved on
I see once she finds out he has an partner, she’ll file for divorce and claim infidelity. All she has to say is that the marriage wasn’t opened unless OP has email or other written correspondence about the marriage being opened.
The third story has a lot more to it than people realize. Mark narrations went over it, and it turns out the parents gave him nearly 70k and the grandfather gave nearly 200k.
Wow. Ok so the parents gave him back the money he paid them (enough to put a down payment on a house) and they was still so upset that they tore it up? And grandpa gave 200,000 to someone who felt like they missed out on something at school? I hope he gets with the right crowd when he gets to his new city because some people will eat up all his money.
OP mentioned provinces & seeing his granddad at a Tim Horton's, so I'm presuming those numbers are Canadian dollars. If he was in my city, that 200K the granddad gave OP would at minimum cover half the cost of a house!
the contention didn't have to do with OP getting his money back or not... they were GIVING it back without him even asking for it, like the rent wasn't actually rent, but they just using that as an excuse to save it for him. I don't think it had anything to do with being treated differently from his siblings either, the whole point is that he was mad about missing out on socializing because of having to work. and I guess there is some validity to that. I never went to college, myself, but what I hear other people say is that the best thing that college really gave them didn't really have anything to do with what they learned but rather was the connections... and if you don't have any interactions with the people you're going to school with then you don't build any of those connections. however working in college is also an important aspect, you need to develop good time management to get your school work done while also still working, and also having some time to relax. I know plenty of people that go back to school while also maintaining a full-time job. my aunt did this when she realized that she couldn't advance any further at her job, my cousin was 8 years old at the time so she was juggling an 8 year old child, a full-time job, while also getting a college degree. when she died of cancer in 2012 she was a territory manager (one org-level below vice president) for Verizon having worked her way up from an entry level position as a divorced single mother. it's important to remember that OP perspective is based on his personal experience, and being inexperienced does not perceive the importance of what they did for him, nor the importance or effect of having worked through college instead of partying probably played in him actually getting this job that he's leaving home to go to. very likely if he had partied through school he would not be going to this job that he is so grateful for getting, and that is enabling him to tear up this check of his own money (facepalm!)
@@better.better Wow...ive never read a comment more sad and bootlicky in a while. Are you serious?? Dude, read the freaking ROOM!! The parents financially coerced and overcharged OP on rent, effectively making him require back breaking labor just to stay afloat in college because, understandably, he wanted at least SOMETHING once he moved out proper, and most of all, he was robbed of a social life because, surprise surprise, he had to work way too many hours because, again, he needed to stay afloat. How do you expect OP to forge connections and have any joy when he's barely scraping by? You sound like an old person giving a bootstraps lecture and are being WAY too generous to the parents! They did nothing but hinder and harm OP's best years, and actively hurt his prospects in the future. Stop defending the parents and other parents who do this. Theres nothing to be grateful for, but everything to be rightfully angry about.
@@better.better I agree. Perception has a lot to do with his reaction. But if he’s that upset about missing out on the social aspect of university, what is he going to do now with both freedom and money and the sense of regret that he didn’t have fun while at college?
5:05 it's so sad when women actually manage to find themselves a good man in the swamp that is the dating pool, and then they go and pull shit like this! Like, honey, the rest of us would kill for a guy like that! I hope OP leaves her and takes primary custody of the kids because he deserves so much better, and so do those kids.
It’s classic self sabotage. I feel so bad for the kids in this situation and how eventually, they’re going to realise what their mom did to their dad. OP seems to have grace and want to preserve what view his kids have of their mother but for how long..? I can’t imagine the emotional labour he’s had to do and will have to do in the future.
Story 1: I'm gonna say it outright, she cheated and I mean went all the way, realized this guy was lacking(50/50 on if it was because he wanted too much from her or if he saw her as a notch on the bedpost), and then tries to 'repair her marriage'. This reminds me of the guy who asked for a divorce twice in like 2 months, and then would immediately regret it. OP didn't even have the time to process her wanting to switch to an 'open marriage', and she's lovebombing him as 'regret'.
Story 3: NTA. The family members who thinks OP is the AH clearly didn't know what it is like to be with parents that show blatant favoritism. Many parents just need to know favoritism and the "golden child" mindset RUINS family relationships. You were right to tear up the check, OP.
Story 3: I know what they were trying to do because I’ve seen it before, the idea being that your kids learn about responsibility and the parents give the money to help them their new life as adults. But not to the point they have no kind of social life and constantly working themselves to the done. And obviously you would do it with all the children not just one with the flimsy excuse that they decided to get a job because their parents won’t pay for anything for them. OP most people don’t get it because to them your parents threw you a party and gave you a big check for all those years of hard work so you can have an edge when you start your new life. They don’t see the bigger picture and the money wasn’t worth what you went through. At least your grandpa has your back and was willing to understand your point of view before trying to lecture you.
Story 2: you haven’t eaten for two days, she can make herself something to eat, and you repeatably asked if she wanted to order her something. It’simpossible for you to be the a-hole in that situation, she’s not going to starve if she just can order herself something to eat or make something like she said she was going to do. I think what she wanted was for both of you to eat together but when you refuse to cook with her, she didn’t like it so she decided she’ll just eat some of your food now she’s mad because she’s hungry and you aren’t sharing. If that is the case instead of playing stupid games, she could’ve just simply said I want to eat together.
My dad is like this when we go to restaurants he says he doesnt want anything then when our food gets to the table he starts picking off everyones plate so I've adopted the habit of getting something he doesnt even like just to make sure he keeps hisbhands to himself because he had the chance to order something and you said you were good so keep your hands to yourself
And I wonder if the “disappointment” was really from the guy not wanting to hit it with a 43 year old who’s had kids. Op mentioned that he kept himself up but didn’t say anything about his wife. I’ve seen other people comment that OP posted updates. The AP was a giga Chad who knew she had a family and didn’t care if his actions ended her marriage.
The second to last story has an update where he unblock his parents to meet at a cafe near their house. They talk (I think the parents found his first post) and the parents apologize and give OP his money which he except. He block his parents afterwards and will give the extra money to his girlfriend after talking to his grandfather that he is blocking family for good.
2nd. Story Oh how I HATE when women do this!!! My sister is EXACTLY like that. She gets all grabby with someone else's food after claiming she was not hungry, and gets all angry and offended when you tell her NO. On the other side, that poor guy went almost TWO DAYS without eating!! And his girlfriend, the one supoosed to love and care for him did not think to have food ready for him???? And not only that, she wants to steal food from him??? That girl is nuts 😡 Edit. I am a person who just CAN'T stand grabby hands on my food My boyfriend told me once "I know you love me. But last month you showed me, once again, just how much you do." I looked at him puzzled "When we went to the burgers buffet with my friends? You asked for a burger with double extra bacon. And then, you gave me half of your bacon." - He kissed my forehead - "My friends asked me why I had such a stupid smile... It's because I found so sweet you showed me you truly loved me, with bacon"
@@lorilancaster5917 Oh indeed!! Maybe not cook FOR her but cook with her, at least that's how I understood it, I might be wrong Still, that way was HUNGRY. If that had been my man, I would have spoken with him in advance, keep in touch by message and wait for him with a burger and a gigantic cold soda. Not for "being a girl", but by being PARTNERS.
I paid rent when I graduated and planned on living with my parents during college. It was my idea, and they only charged me $100 dollars. The amount those parents charged without the expectation of doing it to the other kids is insane.
Last story: Riley got off WAAAY too easy. Were I in OP’s husband’s shoes, I’d give Riley the fight he so desperately wanted and show him what happens when you hurt my family.
Story 1 : op he’s basically giving you a reason to leave her she wants to stay here, but doesn’t want to be married take this opportunity and leave her Story 2 : she could’ve cooked the entire time op said that he was going to order out and he asked her multiple times that she wanted anything ahead of time said no and she would cook But she doesn’t and to take some of his food that doesn’t make any sense Story 3 : heard this story before I can’t believe they took away OP and entire teenage life he wasn’t able to experience anything. They bought them to pay and region amount of rent. And. Took his stuff and gave it to his siblings then they tried to say they compensating him op cut them off
The way the 15 yr old reacted was very extreme. I, of all people (a guy), understand how hormones work and what we go through during puberty... but that reaction was absolutely insane. Either there was drugs in the jacket or the kid has some severe psychological problems that need serious attention by a professional. The other thing that I am really worried about is the 6yr old. I hope that 15yr old isn't taking out his frustrations on the younger kid and verbally abusing him or worse, physically. The parent needs to get the kid help like yesterday.
Second story, EVERY restaurant menu needs to have a "my girlfriend isn't hungry" add on that's double your fries and 4 extra onion rings or something 😂 Every. Fucking. Time. 😂
Yes, while it is a dick move from the girlfriends of the world, it is also usually very predictable. If my wife ever says she is not hungry, I just order for her anyway, and she eats it every time! Everybody is happy!
The only reason, and I mean the ONLY reason, that Riley did not have greater consequences placed on him, is because he was 15. (If this was 1924, Riley would have ended up regretting his decisions that day.)
First story has two more updates: Update 3 My wife went out again on Friday, this time she seemed really pensive, not excited at all. she stayed out a little longer, but came home at a reasonable hour, if I did not know what she had been up to previously, I would not have been suspicious. I assume she broke up with her boyfriend. Saturday morning she cancelled all her future dates of all kinds, everything social was off her calendar, and she replaced them with family activities with me and the kids. She still wouldn't tell me who this man was or discuss him at all. I decided to leave it alone for a while to gather my thoughts. We went on a family trip yesterday, it was fun, and today we are all going to do family games and hang out. My wife's behavior has changed very dramatically, and she is playing the caring wife, saying nice things to me, and sending me positive messages when I am in a different room, touching my arm, all the things. A fairly dramatic shift from the extreme hostility she has been showing me for months. But I have been badly burned, so I couldn't trust it. I decided that I was calm enough to figure out who this guy was... so I went looking, and with the help of a dear friend, we figured it out. See, she had purchased something from him, and that was enough information to figure out who he was, how they met, and how this all began. Now I am going to be vague, as this would maybe be identifying, and I don't need that in my life, especially if I plan on divorcing. But he followed her on a social media service and she didn't follow him back. He never once posted publicly on her social media, and she never liked or commented on any of his stuff. My wife's social media contains pictures of me and our children. almost exclusively of our children, a couple pictures of me, and only a handful of pictures of my wife. for complicated reasons, her social media has a larger following than most personal social media accounts, which made finding him a real pain in the ass. This piece of shit saw my kids and me and my wife and thought "I bet those kids would love two christmasses". that's the guy my wife cheated on me with. He is older than me, by more than a decade, but very fit, and very tall. like a fucking meme. The worst part? she had not blocked him. so it isn't over, it is just on the back burner. I have decided not to mention it, I don't want her to hide it better, I want to know what's going on as I collect evidence for filing for divorce. I don't NEED evidence, but for my own piece of mind, and so that I can grieve, I will finish constructing the puzzle that is my wife's infidelity. I will also focus on self care, and stay away from vices... I could definitely see myself getting drunk and high every night in response to this... so I should not do that. I can't file just yet, for complicated financial reasons, but I will be keeping my appointment with the divorce lawyer to explore my options. until then... we will see. I have 0 trust in my wife. I never thought I would find myself in this position. I don't know what I will do afterwards, I haven't dated in almost 15 years, how does it even work now? Thank you for all the members of the community who have reached out to me, even the mean ones. all of you have taken the time to engage with me when I could not be anything but self centered in my own grief, and I appreciate you. I will continue updating as I go. Update 4 in replies.
Update 4 I decided to take a few days and headed to my parents house. My wife watched the children while I went over and spoke with my folks, after hearing about the situation my sister joined us. my parents are hugely supportive of whatever I choose; though my mom thinks I should get a divorce and has several good divorce lawyers already picked out (she really could not hide her excitement that I might be divorcing my wife), and my father thinks we should work it out and offered to pay for any and all mental health services we need for me, the wife and the kids. My parents have been married for a very long time, and I always wanted a long, stable marriage like they had. My mother commented that I always did like "complicated relationships with difficult women" and that "your wife has been torturing you for months, everyone has been so worried about you." which feels about right. They needed a ton of landscaping done, so my sister and I spent the whole time doing landscaping and talking. the weather was finally nice and I had two days of clearing my head and being around people that love me, and getting exercise. by the time I got home I had completely forgot my horrible situation. My wife even greeted me when I got home and seemed very excited to see me. I was happy to believe for a moment that this was my life, gleeful kids and a happy wife greeting me at the door. it felt really good. I smelled terrible and was covered in dirt ( I did not shower while I was over there, they only have one bar of dove soap that they share, which was how it was when I was a kid, and honestly I would just rather stay dirty) so I went to get changed in my room. the guest bedroom, where I now live, instead of in a room with my wife... and let me tell you, it ALL came flooding back. Just a deep ache and a sadness that the person upstairs was completely different a week and a half ago, and could just as easily flip right back. We are currently in a holding pattern where my wife just looks at me wondering what I will do and tries to be on her best behavior... which she is already looking exhausted by... and I try to stabilize my emotional state well enough to make it through each day without incident. Either way I have been getting a lot of attention online and in real life from potential suitors, there are a surprising number of women of all age groups who seem to really enjoy what I am about and how I look. I really did not know that there was this much interest. I am going to start scheduling dates in the next few weeks. I don't know if it is a good idea or not, I don't know if there is anything out there worth finding, but I do know that sitting around my house being sad all the time is no kind of life. oh, and my mom offered to watch my children while I went out on dates... though she doesn't approve of it, if it brings me closer to getting rid of my wife, she will help me do it... that woman is such a trip. Again, thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. my updates will likely be less frequent going forward, unless something exciting happens. Real life is rarely this complicated and interesting in real time, thank goodness for that.
@Spongeboyking Seems more like he is gonna embrace the whole open relationship thing. But with his mom comment?, wouldn't be surprised if his 'wife' goes ballistic and accuse him of cheating lmao
Story 2: OP's partner probably hadn't eaten since her previous meal. OP hadn't eaten for OVER A DAY after having been in the hospital. She's insensitive and selfish tbh
This been thinking the same like oh he loves me if after starving himself he lets me eat his food. Nah girl u had multiple opportunities and she still can order or cook. Get off that high horse and stop acting like a child
Second story: NTA. Is it a requirement of all girlfriends? That all guys must "share" their food? Do they have food taxes? She had several chances of getting something and she ignored every single one. She indeed tried to steal OP's food, worse is doing it while OP is literally starving.
Speaking as someone with constant medical issues, if I ever have to fast before an appointment, I ALWAYS come home to a meal that's ready and waiting for me... Because I have a partner who loves me. If OP's girlfriend knew he was going to go over 24 hours without eating, why didn't she cook AHEAD of time, or order something for both of them?
In all fairness, MOST couple stories he reads are less about "I love my partner but their laugh is so silly it makes me feel embarrassed, AITA?" and more along the lines of "my partner has systematically abused and manipulated me for years, I want to divorce but my family says I'm the A-hole, AITA?"
Considering RSLASH didn't finish the favoritism story it goes on in updates that he unblocked his parents met back up with them accepted the check cashed the check and then immediately blocked them again. And they still don't think they did anything wrong.
Story 1: op your wife is controlling and a cheater close the marriage and divorce her not just for your benefit but for your kids because this isn't healthy for you all in the long run. Story 2: nta tell your gf she reaps what she sows and the only one being unfair is her for pulling this stunt on you after what you've gone through. Story 3: nta this is a crystal clear case of golden child syndrome they expect you to work hard, pay rent and share your stuff yet said they don't even want your sister to get a job, good luck and hope you enjoy your life now you're free of your parents.
Story 3 is the reason why I think it's scummy for parents to charge their kids rent, especially while they're still in school. So long as they are contributing to the greater household, i.e. cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, something, they should get to live in the house rent free. The kids didn't decide to exist and be born in that family. That was the parents' choice, so they have a responsibility of care.
I have had the test before that I was required to not eat for 24 hours and I fainted in the clinic hallway and hit my head on a wall when I fell. I was a bit grumpy when I woke up and pretty much gave the nurses the silent treatment. I know they were doing their job but I was an angry teenager who felt like punishing them for what they put me through. At home I locked myself in a room with my food and loud music so as to not hear anyone; people, cats and or dogs begging for any until I was done eating everything.
I'm glad OP in the third story didn't take the check, because if they had it would have basicly told the parents that everything they did was ok, that it was ok that they basically stole OPs life for 4+ years, and basically cleared their "guilty" conscience with out actually fixing or truly making up for anything they did. I hope the grandpa went over and tore them a new one and demanded all the money that he gave to OP back. Good on you OP for standing up for yourself and not letting them get away with stealing your life.
Story 3: The parents may have well said “Here you go! All that hard work, effort, and loss of your college years was for nothing! Surprise!!” What wastes of space.
6:40 I was in that situation and man you become violent if somebody tries to take your food, not that somebody tried, but you devour it like it's going to create legs.
Story 1: I get divorce is hard but OP would not be TA if he got a divorce. The fact that the wife doesn’t wanna be married anymore but wants “options” is just sad. And now that OP probably got “the upside” of their little open marriage (or she got the downside because no other man can “measure up to her husband”) she suddenly wants to make things work. And the fact her open marriage suggestion ONLY LASTED A WEEK?! What the heck changed?! She ruined her own marriage and then wanted to cry about it. Story 2: classic female mentality (no offense to all females, but come on). When a guy asks “I’m ordering something to eat, what do you want?” Just ADMIT YOU WANT SOMETHING!! Don’t steal it off your man’s plate or pull some puppy eyes for “cutesy pity”. Don’t most guys find that as a deal breaker?! (I’m female too but I’d never do this unless offered). Story 3: so basically OP had to share everything and got the short end of the stick in life….while his parents thought they were basically doing OP a favor by “teaching him how to be an adult”. That check was basically “we taught you well, so here ya go. Praise us for being good parents”. OP was right to rip up the check and tell his parents where to shove it. Love the grandpa in this too. Story 4: so the 15 year old is a demon child who has problems that the sister in law doesn’t know how to handle…and OP shouldn’t have to handle WHILE PREGNANT!!! OP was right to kick him out and say that he can never come back. What would the SIL have done/said if that shove cost OP her child? No amount of apologies or excuses would ever mend that pain
It makes me feel weird knowing that the girlfriend didn’t have food ready or order food for her boyfriend when he got out of a procedure. I’ve been under twice and both times my people (family the first time friends the second cause my boyfriend was long distance with me at the time) got me food as soon as I could get out. My boyfriend had surgery recently and I did the same for him. I feel like if your partner hasn’t eaten in hours and had to deal with doctors all day you should at least try to make them comfortable and feed them. Her disregard just feels weird. OP said that she told him to cook and she’d cook too. Not that she was cooking for him nor did she offer to get him food. It just seems way worse than I think Rslash said.
I’ve recently recommended that parents secretly keep rent money from children living at home to gift as a future deposit, it teaches financial responsibility and protects the money from frivolous spending
Can we petition for rSlash to read wholesome stories at least once a week? I think it would be good for him and us mentally. I get anxiety after too many of his videos about all these stories where terrible things happen and it really seems like this stuff gets to him too sometimes
Story 1 The marriage isn't dead but they need to put in work to rebuild it. It's not uncommon for self sabotage to happen in a long term relationship when the communication diminishes. Reddit and AITA YT loves to pretend that if the relationship isn't perfect 100% of the time you need to divorce. Humans are imperfect and so are marriages. Btw. 15 year relationship and 8 years married.
The thieving parents story reminded me of my situation. I tried so hard to save up and move out while working and going to school. I worked 3 jobs at the same time to went to school during my early 20's. My mom kept threatening to raise the rent and every time I snapped back that I'll move out, she wouldn't do it. I'm so glad I don't live with her anymore
I did the math for the rent story, 750 a month for 48 months is 36000 dollars, those parents took over 30k from him for what? To help him save up? Glad the grandfather (?) was kind of enough to help him out.
Before I got my own place, my mom told me that I wouldn't have to pay rent for a couple of months before I moved and use the money to save up to buy stuff for my flat and she also bought me a few things to help me.
Story 1: This is an extremely toxic dynamic for the kids to grow up around. Divorce stat. Story 3: parents shouldn't charge their kids rent. They should teach them how to save and budget money, especially in this financial climate. Your kid didn't ask to be born, taking their money isn't teaching them the value of a dollar
Op should’ve cashed that check . Also rent idea is actually a good idea , as it teaches kids to pay rent before leaving . However it only works if the amount of rent isn’t insane and if you give them the rent money back once they graduate . The issue though is the fact they did this while op was in school and didn’t do the same to the sister .
Story of the college kid. His parents were wrong not to discuss in detail what they were doing with that rent money and why. Just presenting a check is not helpful and having your kid struggle is even worse. There is hard work and there is struggle to the point OP felt alone and unwanted. I hope OP finds peace and forgives his parents. Forgiveness is not because they are right but because he doesn’t need that negative baggage in his life.
Story 2: In my family several family members get hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and when it happens we get grouchy. Do not play games with us when we are in that state. My father and I are usually the two most laid back family members but when our blood sugar drops we get mean and short tempered. When the “You aren’t you when you’re hungry” Snickers commercials came out everyone, the hypoglycemics and non all went “that’s you/me!” Whenever we have to fast we have to fight being AHs and my father has outright started to refuse medical tests that require he fasts, which is not helpful. So OP is NTA because it SUCKS having to fast and then having someone play games like his gf did. He knew how much he wanted to eat and he ordered that amount, not only did he do that but he offered her MULTIPLE TIMES to get her something two. No mean no.
I'm the oldest child in my family. I'm 33. My brother is 29. And my sister is 26. I wasnt able to take behind the wheel due to money and didnt get my license til 19. My bro and sis were able to take behind the wheel. I only got my 1st car cause i was in an accident that nearly paralyzed me, thanks to the settlement. My bro and sis were given my parents car. I paid my own car insurance. Bro and sis dont. My bro and sis were always given way more attention than me and now im super independent and dont tell my parents anything or ask for help. All 3 of us were bullied in school. I had to stick ot out. My sis was moved to a private school and my bro was allowed to drop out and get his ged. Ive had a job since i was 18. My brother only got a job a year ago. My sister got one when she was 23. When i was younger, i was the one that got blamed for stuff and spanked for it, even if i didnt do it. Im now the one taking care of my parents in their old age. My dad has dementia and my mom has really fragile bones. Im the only one of my siblings stable enough to take care of them. Being the oldest sucks ass.
As a 14yo - the last story is nuts, like why would you do that, even if I were upset, the most I'd do is explain my feelings and leave the room, not start a fight, shove a woman to the point of bleeding to fight her husband
For that second story, ive accidentally done that 30 hour fast too. I was getting double blood work (ironically the same testing) done at 2 different locations for different offices. It also happened to be my first covid shot, and i had to stay an extra 20 minutes for monitoring.
Story 2: my instinct is that gf was upset that you seemed not to want to eat HER food/food that she cooked, and since you continued to go with the takeaway, your “punishment” is having to share it. It’s petty, but maybe she is really insecure? I understand wanting to order out when you’re super hungry - it’s faster and more consistent. Her insistence on you eating food she cooks, then trying to get you involved in cooking, THEN tripling down on you both having to have the same food/you must share your food…yeah. Unless she was secretly trying to poison you or something under the guise of “home cooking”, gf seems petty and insecure.
Story 2: For me it seems, she wanted to have a nice meal together. His appointment was 4 hours late, so she probable also had to wait 4 hours, so maybe she also skipped a meal. Now he comes home and ruins her plans for a nice evening cooking together. Thats why she is also indecisive about what to do. I think she wanted to do something nice for him and he gave her the cold shoulder and hurt her feelings. I dont think its a red flag, they just need to talk it out. (And no, he was not the A-hole. He was just hungry.)
Story 1: op really need to get a divorce, life is way too short to be with someone wrong. If he stays with her, only thing he can expect from the future is unhappy life and bitter existence when he is old and lives alone. Yes, she is going to dump op someday in anyway, she clearly doesn't love op, so that is going to happen. Starting a new chapter in your life is always scary, but there is also hope when you do that and possibility to find happiness. Those people who are too scared to start again will never find happiness.
Story 1, open relationship or not, she will get on OP's case if he saw other women. It's how these cheaters work. They're the only ones allowed to cheat while their "partner" is not allowed to so much as even LOOK at another partner. This relationship is beyond dead at this point. Plus the wife made her cheating about as obvious as it could get. She may as well had come back home with a big neon sign on her head that screamed "I cheated~! Aren't you proud of me~?". They need to separate. OP for his own mental health., the wife because she doesn't deserve him and the kids because they need a more stable situation than what they're dealing with now. Story 2, this girl is petty. Like a really petty child. OP came from surgery And had not eating for over one and a half DAYS. Of course OP would be tired and not wishing to cook. NO ONE would! The last thing you need to do is handle a hot stove or oven while tired. Accidents WILL happen. OP offered to order her something but, because she wasn't getting HER way, she said no. Sorry OP isn't a robot, lady. She decided to punish OP by trying to take the food he ordered from him. It wasn't sharing, it was her punishing him for not bowing to her whims. If things were the other way around she'd be expecting him to have a full buffet ready for her when she got home. If he did so much at home why couldn't she do ONE meal for someone she is in a relationship with. Story 3, the immediate sharing of OP's PS4 angers me. They could have put some money towards it so it could be more "shared". Pushing your child to get a job when they can so they learn the value of working for the things you want in life is a great thing as is the holding onto the money that the child was paying to give back. But this, this is terrible. The sister doesn't need to pay, she wasn't told to get a job and forced to pay this rent. Looks like a double standard is going on here. Story 4, the SIL is lucky OP and her husband didn't call the police for assault! Riley needs help here. The fact Riley got mad because his jacket was moved means that he probably had something in there he shouldn't have had. Then had his "pride" hurt when he was ushered away like a child only to hurt OP by shoving her into a wall which was unnecessary. Riley made a conscious decision to hurt a family member for no reason just so he could go and fight with his uncle. Guy's lucky his uncle didn't lay him out as he would have deserved. There's some major issues in that household and that six year old is in for a rough time. There are many ways this could have come up, maybe the family isn't as happy as it seems and Riley's dealing with something from his mother or father. Maybe it's the little brother having more attention so he's acting out. Could even be a bad crowd he's running around with and now he's in pretty deep. It's only speculation but either way, this kid needs his head straightened out before his life is permanently ruined.
Story 2: She proved herself to be a terrible partner before he even got home. Under those conditions, a good partner would say, "Text me what you want to eat and when you expect to arrive. I've got you covered." She not only didn't support him, she made the situation much more difficult, with an even longer wait time before eating, and then tried to take from him something that was - by that point - medically necessary. Sorry to sound extreme, but that entire meal situation is break-up worthy.
In my opinion,if someone is willing to or already inflicted a lethal injury or at least an injury that makes you bleed to you,you're allowed to return the injury in self-defense and more,that's what I was taught and so far,I'm leading a good life because of it So if I was Last story OP's husband,I would've been in jail and Riley......best case scenario,in the hospital
4:07 y’all can disagree idc but as someone who’s still in therapy for other reasons but has gotten to the point where i’ve mostly heal my self sabotaging, that’s EXACTLY what the wife sounds like she’s doing. She seems like she could’ve grown up in a hope or relationships or an environment in general where there was no stability and normal, no constant love and affection without there being a downside, a fallout to it, a consequence. Then she had it. The perfect life, husband, children. It’s all perfect, but to someone who hasn’t had that without repercussions attached due to abuse or whatever other reason, she’s expecting it to break, she doesn’t keep hope it’ll last and it will hurt less if she ruins it herself than to let someone else hurt her again like she has been tile and time again. Then she tries- and she can’t. Regret, shake, guilt, she can’t do it because she knows what she has is good and but she doesn’t know how to accept it. PLEASE OP IF YOU SEE THIS, please help your wife get therapy with someone who specializes in helping people who def sabotage. PLEASE help save your wife to having a better life and a healthier and happier outlook on relationships and good things happening to her so she can appreciate and enjoy them without the fear of it being taken away or ruined. I’m not saying to stay married, no. OP is clearly emotionally checked out but she needs help
Story 2: Boys, listen - she's going to say no, she's going to say she doesn't want anything, she's going to say she's not hungry. She's LYING. Whether consciously or unconsciously, she's lying. Just buy extra food, and it'll be a lovely little surprise.
If your partner isn't trying to GIVE you food after you haven't eaten for that long, that's not a person you'll want to marry. So why continue dating them?
1. OP is NTA, but the marriage is officially over...divorce and cut your losses. 2. OP is NTA, girlfriend is AH for wanting his food even after she said no to takeout 3. OP is NTA, his parents are but not his grandpa 4. OP is NTA, Riley is dangerous and needs serious help
The food story... Have you never met a woman before? It's one of the biggest cliches ever, that women say they don't want anything and then want to when the food comes. If they ever say "don't order anything for me" just order something anyway and put it in the fridge, if for some reason she actually meant what she said.
Second story: I remember seeing a menu which an option saying my girlfriend isn't hungry. It was the biggest item on the menu. Sounds like she wanted to mooch off his plate, which is bad enough, but when you haven't eaten for a day and a half, that's just terrible. Third story: I have heard of a suggestion to charge your child rent after a certain age only to give them a check for the entire amount saved up as a leg up when they finally move out. I'm not sure how much it was they recommended, but I'm pretty sure it was less than what they were asking for. It's a sensible idea, teaching responsibility, and money management, and if the child already has a job that is even better (which would explain why the daughter and youngest son haven't had that yet), but it does require being sensible because of the aforementioned lack of social life and networking opportunities. So far from it being a straightforward case of eldest child has most responsibility, it's actually more nuanced those still pretty bad when you look at it as a whole.
Story 2: nobody who hasn't eaten in over a day deserves to be called selfish, I did the same thing when I had surgery and I wasn't able to eat for 40 hour, so I was famished, and the first thing I did was go to the 24 burger King and got two whoppers to stop my stomach from cramping to me not consuming any calories
The reverse rslash: When you're getting ready to call op a butthole but then rslash hits you with a an opening opinion that completely changes your mind
Charging your oldest son $750/mo, for four years while he is in college? And not impose the same on the other kids?? How can he get a leg up in life like that??? OP's parents are incredibly lopsided in their "lessons"! Him getting a job showed how responsible and driven he was and in response they punished him for it. If they were trying to teach him to be independent, that life isn’t fair, and that the only person he can trust is himself then congrats on them because they’ve succeeded and they can reap what they’ve sowed.
I have heard it put this way, The eldest child is the burnt waffle. The parents tried to do something they thought was a good idea and realized how it affected the eldest. They then changed it, often softening their approach, for the younger siblings benefit. This often leaves the oldest bitter at the injustice.
That’s what I must’ve missed. I couldn’t understand why OP was so mad. But I can see if the parent charged like $100 or something to get him used to budgeting for living expenses but $750 is way too much for a college student at home, especially to expect him to share and do everything else with his siblings.
@@stevenandcarminabeedle9089And he was paying for his own food and tuition, it's crushing
And I feel like they’ll still pull this crap on their other kids and the kids will play along because they’ve disregarded OPs warning. But I see that they’ll be more screwed because grandpa won’t help them like he did OP.
@@darabounds6671 Except... they should have realized it was WAY too much after the first year when OP was giving up EVERYTHING fun in order to work and give them money. Mom and Dad are clearly idiots. I have to believe gender also played a role in their decision making.
1st story: The wife got rejected and is now falling back on her husband. The worst part of that post was how OP had to preemptively defend himself from the onslaught of cheater apologists and victim blamers.
He knows who lurks in that subreddit. Which is sad that people are quick to kick people who are looking for legitimate advice.
2nd story: my partner recently had to go in for some tests and had to wait 24 hours without solids, I made sure when I picked her up from the doctors that I had food with me for her as I knew she would be starving. why did OP's girlfriend not do something similar? even if its just a salad roll or something.
She comes off to as someone that believes that it’s the man’s job to nurture and baby his partner no matter the situation. She’s dead weight
he said without food, so i think it wasn't no-solids, just nothing other than water, i had a test like that once and after a while you start to feel nausea and eating becomes oddly uncomfortable, he order for himself something that he can swallow easily and she doesn't even let him have that instead of fucking ordered!, that she is hungry?! pleaaase lady don't insult him in the face, sheesh.
@@dinlupus3196when I first heard this story I thought she was going to make some bs excuse like, “I only had a salad today and worked extra hard in Pilates this afternoon!”
Yea really
Exactly! I had to get a test done with anesthesia last year, couldn't eat anything for 24 hours before the test. My dad picked me up and had teriyaki chicken and white rice waiting in the truck for me. I couldn't eat all of it of course, but I still appreciated the thought.
Last story: I don’t think SIL understands what’s happening here. Riley assaulted a pregnant woman trying to assault her husband for touching his jacket, banning him from your house is actually the nicest thing you could do in situation where a crime was committed. And given he’s had problems with the law before I doubt if you called the cops on him now a judge will be lenient on him.
Not to mention no one gets this eager to fight over someone touching their jacket unless they have something in the jacket they don’t want people messing with. So maybe SIL except the situation without complaining before you change your mind and use your right to call the police and charges.
I would recommend OP and spouse check their belongings to make sure nothing is missing
Yeah, I think that there was something in that jacket! At first, I thought drugs, but when you mentioned checking their house for wayward items... Yeah, check that jacket. He needs therapy & meds! 😢
Honestly think they should call the cops. Or should have. Riley is going to jail eventually, hopefully before he kills someone. That boy is dangerous. Also, last I checked assaulting a pregnant woman is a SERIOUS felony charge.
Something stinks at the SIL’s house, and it’s why Riley is a fucking psycho. I wouldn’t think psychopathic or sociopathic, but clearly unhinged. The parents, I believe, are a HUGE source of what is going on. Riley needs to be committed, medicated, and receive ongoing therapy. The 6yo needs therapy to process the trauma he experienced at the hands of his awful brother and neglectful parents.
Sometimes I feel like Rslash is using click bait to get me to watch, but then I remember that these stories make me feel better about my life.
Ah, the Maury Philosophy.
Chlie1
I fully support clickbaiting, as long as it isnt straight lies. So im just fine with these thumbnails anyway
Yeah. Rslash is VERY exploitive with his thumbnails and video titles
4 videos from the last 2 weeks have the phrase “i like kids” in the thumbnail, its so damn annoying
Yeah it's weird! I see other reddit TH-camrs with similar thumbnails in my recommended videos mixed in with Rslash and I instinctively avoid all of those like the plague.
Story 3 has an update :
OP got a talk with everyone and decided to unlock the parents. He took the cheque, banked it, and reblocked them. He gave like 4k to his GF and that's all, iirc.
Lol
That's so petty....I LOVE IT!!!
Story 1: your wife lied to you, cheated on you, then when it wasn’t good, decided to tell you the truth, but basically wanted a divorce without the divorce part, she wants everything back the way it was but she screwed up. She trying to let you do whatever you want. Honestly I wouldn’t fault OP whatever decision is, being with someone who is constantly flip-flopping is emotionally draining.
I have a doctors way on it . I don’t the wife lied but I think she was planning on having an affair and didn’t like seeing the affair partner’s love sausage so she went back to op and came clean . She wanted op to do whatever he wanted and then she starts having regret and remorse.
And I’m betting she’s thinking her rubby dubby feelings will tempt OP to not find partners but she “keep the marriage open”. OP I know you’re thinking about the kids but divorce would be better than whatever this is
I feel bad for Op but in a positive notice he may be unwillingly and unknowingly torturing her, sice cheaters love to antagonize the other part as a way to dont feel guilty or remorseful, but Op is so passive that doing so can make her feel worse.
that being said Op is also in a torture, he didn't divorce her sooner and now his kids believe that everything is ok and trying to divorce when your kids believe that you and your partner has reconciled ...it can shatter them and the fault may fall upon Op....
But with her luvy dovy 💩, she’s thinking she can manipulate him into staying loyal and the marriage be open just for her. She “begs” OP what she can do to make things right but that’s for her to figure out. It’s on her to do the legwork not OP. I hope OP realizes divorce would be better than whatever this is
@@KadeStringer2.0 I think she tried to get serious with him and he made it clear he was only interested in sex and dumped her, now she wants OP back. That's usually what happens.
Story 3: OP's boss is a real one. "I'm surprised you didn't ask sooner" is a pretty big compliment and shows just how willing he is to let OP get some well-deserved rest after all the work he'd been putting in. At least someone cares.
Riley had drugs in his jacket, thats why he suddenly got so angry when husband touches the jacket
100% this.
Either that or he stole something.
@@akl2k7most likely something from OP or her husband
I literally thought something along these lines.
I thought it wasn't drugs tho, I thought it was a secret Girlfriend or smth
@@akl2k7 the going back to attack after the fact screams drugs. sure if someone stole something, hid it in the jacket, then the jacket gets touched, they would probably get agro, but once its realised that it was only being moved and they were 'safe' all should be done with.
Story 2 she knew he hadn't eaten in a day and a half and she still wanted to take some of his food. Terrible fun.
And he is tired and weak too because of that, of course he wouldn't be in the mood to help her cook, he just want food that he can eat right away.
PLUS what good partner knows their SO hasn't eaten in so long and wouldn't bother having something already prepared for them to eat as soon as they got home.
And we know some would become most of not all. OP would still be starving. She has no empathy and or she’s just lazy. She can cook! Heck! OP offered to order food for her!
That’s when you just bite her hand. You do not try to graze off the hangry.
@@linpittsburgh2375 I was thinking more like prison style where OP uses his arms to shield his food and threaten to stab her with a fork
Story 2: Well, she said "no" if she was asked if she wanted anything, so what did she expect?
Is it "No" or "Yes"? You can't do both
Women: “No means No!” (A totally reasonable thing to say)
Also women: “I know I said no I didn’t want food but you should give me some anyway.”
I think the GF saw this as some weird 'test' for OP. It's crazy and annoying AF.
@@shortwave737Sounds like someone who says guys shouldn't ask women out more than once and accept their no, but still plays hard to get.
Rookie mistake. Always get something for your wife/gf when you order.
@@seekeroftruth6728 Absolutely not. GF is presumably an adult. OP did the correct thing... he ask her if she wanted him to order food for her, multiple times. If she decided to play games OR simply be indecisive she can deal with the consequences of that. It's certainly not on OP. wtaf?
Also it's not like she can't make food at home, like she said she preferred to do OR just order something for herself.
Story 1: if the wife has cheated and is the primary breadwinner, OP will win alimony and may get full custody as well.
A man??
@@Diamondr11Blue In case of a divorce, alimony is awarded to the spouse with the smaller income. In this case the Wife will be forced to pay alimony, since she earns more.
@@Diamondr11Blueyes even men can get full custody and win alimony although it’s rare because of sexism
@@Fruad_jo Not only sexism.
In most traditional households husbands are the primary breadwinners, while wives take care of the house and kids. Even when both spouses work, usually wives get a lighter and less-paid job, so they can focus on the kids. So, because the majority of the cases are such, most people presume that the husband always has to pay alimony and child support, while in reality alimony is awarded to the spouse with the lesser income and child support is awarded to the spouse with primary custody.
@@Diamondr11Blue Most divorce settlements are decided out of court. The reason most women get custody is because of a joint decision.
Rent story: this would've been a good idea if the "rent" was more symbolic, like 50 bucks that the parents would match each month and make it a nice bonus for graduation. Also the parents mentality is just weird, it's like :" Our son is being responsible? LET'S OVERWORK HIM TO THE POINT OF COLLAPSE!"
I'm pretty sure the majority of young adults that have gone through what OP did, have actually tried to off themselves at least once, so what those "parents" did, is utterly disgusting, I think it happens more frequently in some Asian countries
@@brendanboomhour7606 Oh yes, those cultures where the parents will shun you if you don't go to university and become a doctor, lawyer, or get any 6-7-figure-paying job.
I’m not sure how it is in other Asian countries but from my experience Asian children stay with their parents rent free untill they get a job or a significant other.
@@Hellow68 not always, and when I say Asian, I don't mean only Chinese, Korean and Japanese (the core three when one thinks "Asian"), I'm including East Asian countries too, and India seems to have a little bit of a habit of doing exactly what OP's parents did, especially if the kid's a girl
I’m not sure how it is in East Asia, my experience is only with parts of SEA and SL.
SIl : Riley has been getting better!
Then Riley shoves a pregnant lady, for no reason she wasnt in his way, she was just trying to talk to him, he even agreed with OP that he needed to calm down and he still felt the need to put his hands on a pregnant lady to fight with her husband...for moving his jacket. Yea, she could have pressed charges against Riley and with Rileys history, he'd most likely go to juvie. SIL should be kissing OP's feet for not calling the cops on him, not giving her grief for not allowing the potential danger that is Riley into her home ever again
3rd story had an update:
OP's parents wanted to talk so OP went to their house. They talked and OP'S parents offered him the check again, he took it, deposit it, waited for the check to clear, then blocked the parents. He's cutting them off. OP then gave some money to his "Girlfriend" (FWB) as thanks for helping him with everything.
I could understand a nominal rent or whatever, but not at the expense where he's either working, school or sleeping. Much of the college experience is venturing away from home, forming relationships outside of family, and being able to explore and find yourself. OP's parents prevented and hindered all that.
OP learned a valuable lesson. His parents are jerks and he's better off. I hope his new job offers him the opportunities he missed.
thanks for telling sad we cant read it iourself since reddit banned his account for some reason
Why did they ban it?@@wowgek7
I'm not sure what the parents intent was?
Perhaps they really wanted to make savings for him.
But regardless of intent, they took money from him at a time when he really needed it and gave it back to him when he didn't need it anymore, so pretty terrible move.
Good on OP. They were probably hoping for a redemption party. However I don’t see OPs siblings being in the clear but they were warned and old enough to see what OP went through
My 15 years old nephew pushing my pregnant wife and trying to fight me? Nah that dude is lucky not to wake up underneath a white ceiling in a room with lots of beeps. This mother needs some serious help for her child because clearly there's bigger issues at hand. I feel the most fit the little brother who's going to grow up with that on his life.
Is it just me or do parents treat their 15-17 teenagers as kids today? In other stories on here when the teenagers were referred to as kids the parents would try to make it seem like because they are a kid they don’t know any better or to go easy on them. When I was a teen growing up I and others my age were treated like young adults because we acted like young adults. I mean we still did dumb things as adolescents but we had enough sense to respect ppl older than us and had a certain amount of responsibilities already.
100% he was mad about the jacket because there was drugs in the pocket or something
Yep that kid would be lucky to leave my house alive if he shoved my PREGNANT WIFE. I honestly would have called the police and had him arrested immediately. I would not have put it in the parent’s hands to try and discipline the kid because it obviously hasn’t worked. A day or two in jail can be very eye opening for unruly juveniles.
Riley would’ve woken up in a pine box six feet under if he pulled that in my household. One way or another, if SIL doesn’t get Riley the help he needs, she’ll lose both her sons. It also sounds like she doesn’t care that OP could’ve lost the baby when Riley attacked her
Pregnant woman abuse: Drake meme where he's unhappy
Minor abuse: Drake meme where he's happy
Story 1.
Ohh what a flip, I can bet her f buddy dumped her and broke her self esteem/confidence. This is why she's so apologetic and desperate to keep op in her life, as a husband, not as a last resort.
Yep. The wife is a giant AH and liar. But OP has absolutely no backbone nor self-esteem. OP is contributing to his sh**ty marriage.
The fact that his parents gave him the money back makes me wonder what was going on from their perspective. Getting kids to pay rent and saving that money to give back to them later is actually a really good thing you can do for your kids. It helps them get into the habit and mindset that their money will need to be split up for necessities *and* helps young people save up, sometimes enough for a deposit for a mortgage when they move out.
BUT, only doing it to those kids who choose to get a job? Nah. Someone done effed up there.
And that amount too! Sheesh, he probably could have rented instead depending on where he lived.
@@Dragonemperess I mean, where I live rent is about twice what he paid, for a 1-bedroom apartment. IIRC, it's actually cheaper to get a 2-bedroom apartment, and with that you could also get a roommate to share the expense with and save even more money.
@@AzureKyle I guess it depends on where he live, because where I live 1500 miiight get you a studio, and don't expect it to be good.
The parents could have just deposited the money directly into his account!
Also apparantly the amount was ludicrously high. 750$, on top of that he was paying his own tuition AND food and paying for all his own necessities. He was basically working a full time job next to his classes.
All, only to get it back after 4 years, with interest rates being at 10%.
Thanks for burning my money whilst I had to put my entire life on hold to earn that.
100% of the childcare? and she would dare cheat on you? she don't know how good she has it.
I think in a way she does which is why she’s trying to manipulate him into staying.
Makes me think that the mood swings are the sign of a hormone imbalance. She's about the right age to start pre-menopause. Not an excuse to kill her marriage, but a possible explanation for her behavior.
@@lorilancaster5917she isn’t manipulating him into staying
@@asmith8692I’ve read another story recently where the OPs wife was horrible to him for a year and when he told her to seek help, she filed for divorce. By the time she got help, found out she is peri menopausal, she tried to rescind the divorce only for OP to refill because he moved on
@@asmith8692 pre-menopausal or not, the woman is an asshole
Story 1 op should just cut his losses. Because she will hate the fact that he's sleeping with other women and never stop holding it against him.
I see once she finds out he has an partner, she’ll file for divorce and claim infidelity. All she has to say is that the marriage wasn’t opened unless OP has email or other written correspondence about the marriage being opened.
@@lorilancaster5917 That's probably her plan.
@@lorilancaster5917I don’t think she is going to do nothing
The third story has a lot more to it than people realize. Mark narrations went over it, and it turns out the parents gave him nearly 70k and the grandfather gave nearly 200k.
Wow. Ok so the parents gave him back the money he paid them (enough to put a down payment on a house) and they was still so upset that they tore it up? And grandpa gave 200,000 to someone who felt like they missed out on something at school? I hope he gets with the right crowd when he gets to his new city because some people will eat up all his money.
OP mentioned provinces & seeing his granddad at a Tim Horton's, so I'm presuming those numbers are Canadian dollars. If he was in my city, that 200K the granddad gave OP would at minimum cover half the cost of a house!
the contention didn't have to do with OP getting his money back or not... they were GIVING it back without him even asking for it, like the rent wasn't actually rent, but they just using that as an excuse to save it for him. I don't think it had anything to do with being treated differently from his siblings either, the whole point is that he was mad about missing out on socializing because of having to work. and I guess there is some validity to that. I never went to college, myself, but what I hear other people say is that the best thing that college really gave them didn't really have anything to do with what they learned but rather was the connections... and if you don't have any interactions with the people you're going to school with then you don't build any of those connections. however working in college is also an important aspect, you need to develop good time management to get your school work done while also still working, and also having some time to relax. I know plenty of people that go back to school while also maintaining a full-time job. my aunt did this when she realized that she couldn't advance any further at her job, my cousin was 8 years old at the time so she was juggling an 8 year old child, a full-time job, while also getting a college degree. when she died of cancer in 2012 she was a territory manager (one org-level below vice president) for Verizon having worked her way up from an entry level position as a divorced single mother.
it's important to remember that OP perspective is based on his personal experience, and being inexperienced does not perceive the importance of what they did for him, nor the importance or effect of having worked through college instead of partying probably played in him actually getting this job that he's leaving home to go to.
very likely if he had partied through school he would not be going to this job that he is so grateful for getting, and that is enabling him to tear up this check of his own money (facepalm!)
@@better.better Wow...ive never read a comment more sad and bootlicky in a while. Are you serious?? Dude, read the freaking ROOM!! The parents financially coerced and overcharged OP on rent, effectively making him require back breaking labor just to stay afloat in college because, understandably, he wanted at least SOMETHING once he moved out proper, and most of all, he was robbed of a social life because, surprise surprise, he had to work way too many hours because, again, he needed to stay afloat.
How do you expect OP to forge connections and have any joy when he's barely scraping by? You sound like an old person giving a bootstraps lecture and are being WAY too generous to the parents! They did nothing but hinder and harm OP's best years, and actively hurt his prospects in the future. Stop defending the parents and other parents who do this. Theres nothing to be grateful for, but everything to be rightfully angry about.
@@better.better I agree. Perception has a lot to do with his reaction. But if he’s that upset about missing out on the social aspect of university, what is he going to do now with both freedom and money and the sense of regret that he didn’t have fun while at college?
5:05 it's so sad when women actually manage to find themselves a good man in the swamp that is the dating pool, and then they go and pull shit like this! Like, honey, the rest of us would kill for a guy like that! I hope OP leaves her and takes primary custody of the kids because he deserves so much better, and so do those kids.
She sold her life based on some stupid social media test.
It’s classic self sabotage. I feel so bad for the kids in this situation and how eventually, they’re going to realise what their mom did to their dad. OP seems to have grace and want to preserve what view his kids have of their mother but for how long..? I can’t imagine the emotional labour he’s had to do and will have to do in the future.
Oh my god, the fact OP's kids noticed their mom was treating their dad like shit! That is not a small thing, that's huge.
Story 1: I'm gonna say it outright, she cheated and I mean went all the way, realized this guy was lacking(50/50 on if it was because he wanted too much from her or if he saw her as a notch on the bedpost), and then tries to 'repair her marriage'. This reminds me of the guy who asked for a divorce twice in like 2 months, and then would immediately regret it. OP didn't even have the time to process her wanting to switch to an 'open marriage', and she's lovebombing him as 'regret'.
Story 3: NTA. The family members who thinks OP is the AH clearly didn't know what it is like to be with parents that show blatant favoritism. Many parents just need to know favoritism and the "golden child" mindset RUINS family relationships. You were right to tear up the check, OP.
Story 3: I know what they were trying to do because I’ve seen it before, the idea being that your kids learn about responsibility and the parents give the money to help them their new life as adults. But not to the point they have no kind of social life and constantly working themselves to the done. And obviously you would do it with all the children not just one with the flimsy excuse that they decided to get a job because their parents won’t pay for anything for them.
OP most people don’t get it because to them your parents threw you a party and gave you a big check for all those years of hard work so you can have an edge when you start your new life. They don’t see the bigger picture and the money wasn’t worth what you went through. At least your grandpa has your back and was willing to understand your point of view before trying to lecture you.
Story 2: you haven’t eaten for two days, she can make herself something to eat, and you repeatably asked if she wanted to order her something. It’simpossible for you to be the a-hole in that situation, she’s not going to starve if she just can order herself something to eat or make something like she said she was going to do.
I think what she wanted was for both of you to eat together but when you refuse to cook with her, she didn’t like it so she decided she’ll just eat some of your food now she’s mad because she’s hungry and you aren’t sharing. If that is the case instead of playing stupid games, she could’ve just simply said I want to eat together.
My dad is like this when we go to restaurants he says he doesnt want anything then when our food gets to the table he starts picking off everyones plate so I've adopted the habit of getting something he doesnt even like just to make sure he keeps hisbhands to himself because he had the chance to order something and you said you were good so keep your hands to yourself
The first story is disgusting.. that wife is nasty, to cheat on such a good man...
And I wonder if the “disappointment” was really from the guy not wanting to hit it with a 43 year old who’s had kids. Op mentioned that he kept himself up but didn’t say anything about his wife.
I’ve seen other people comment that OP posted updates. The AP was a giga Chad who knew she had a family and didn’t care if his actions ended her marriage.
I work in a maternity ward and when this notification popped up I was absolutely mortified 😭
The second to last story has an update where he unblock his parents to meet at a cafe near their house. They talk (I think the parents found his first post) and the parents apologize and give OP his money which he except. He block his parents afterwards and will give the extra money to his girlfriend after talking to his grandfather that he is blocking family for good.
2nd. Story
Oh how I HATE when women do this!!! My sister is EXACTLY like that. She gets all grabby with someone else's food after claiming she was not hungry, and gets all angry and offended when you tell her NO.
On the other side, that poor guy went almost TWO DAYS without eating!! And his girlfriend, the one supoosed to love and care for him did not think to have food ready for him????
And not only that, she wants to steal food from him???
That girl is nuts 😡
Edit.
I am a person who just CAN'T stand grabby hands on my food
My boyfriend told me once "I know you love me. But last month you showed me, once again, just how much you do."
I looked at him puzzled
"When we went to the burgers buffet with my friends? You asked for a burger with double extra bacon. And then, you gave me half of your bacon." - He kissed my forehead - "My friends asked me why I had such a stupid smile... It's because I found so sweet you showed me you truly loved me, with bacon"
And as an extra twist of the blade, she expected OP to cook for them.
@@lorilancaster5917 Oh indeed!!
Maybe not cook FOR her but cook with her, at least that's how I understood it, I might be wrong
Still, that way was HUNGRY.
If that had been my man, I would have spoken with him in advance, keep in touch by message and wait for him with a burger and a gigantic cold soda.
Not for "being a girl", but by being PARTNERS.
Joey Tribbiani is right on this one lol
The classic I'm not hungry but let me steal your good once it gets here
Shoving *anyone* the way Riley did isn’t okay, let alone a pregnant person. I don’t blame OP for not wanting him around, he’s literally a danger.
I paid rent when I graduated and planned on living with my parents during college. It was my idea, and they only charged me $100 dollars. The amount those parents charged without the expectation of doing it to the other kids is insane.
Last story: Riley got off WAAAY too easy. Were I in OP’s husband’s shoes, I’d give Riley the fight he so desperately wanted and show him what happens when you hurt my family.
Story 1 : op he’s basically giving you a reason to leave her she wants to stay here, but doesn’t want to be married take this opportunity and leave her
Story 2 : she could’ve cooked the entire time op said that he was going to order out and he asked her multiple times that she wanted anything ahead of time said no and she would cook But she doesn’t and to take some of his food that doesn’t make any sense
Story 3 : heard this story before I can’t believe they took away OP and entire teenage life he wasn’t able to experience anything. They bought them to pay and region amount of rent. And. Took his stuff and gave it to his siblings then they tried to say they compensating him op cut them off
The way the 15 yr old reacted was very extreme. I, of all people (a guy), understand how hormones work and what we go through during puberty... but that reaction was absolutely insane. Either there was drugs in the jacket or the kid has some severe psychological problems that need serious attention by a professional.
The other thing that I am really worried about is the 6yr old. I hope that 15yr old isn't taking out his frustrations on the younger kid and verbally abusing him or worse, physically. The parent needs to get the kid help like yesterday.
Second story, EVERY restaurant menu needs to have a "my girlfriend isn't hungry" add on that's double your fries and 4 extra onion rings or something 😂 Every. Fucking. Time. 😂
Yes, while it is a dick move from the girlfriends of the world, it is also usually very predictable. If my wife ever says she is not hungry, I just order for her anyway, and she eats it every time!
Everybody is happy!
I’ve seen some places have that for a kids menu. I’m not hungry =grilled cheese. I don’t know=hamburger. I don’t care=hotdog
Or, hear me out. Wives/fiances/gfs can learn that when theu really want something, don't say no when their SO asks them if they want anything.
@@azisles02 Yes! Let's normalize expecting grown ups to act like grown ups.
@@myrabeth77 I'd drink to that. Bring back common sense! Far too many adult children in the world.
If my BF hadn't eaten in 24 hours, I would have greeted him with a pork chop at the door.
The only reason, and I mean the ONLY reason, that Riley did not have greater consequences placed on him, is because he was 15. (If this was 1924, Riley would have ended up regretting his decisions that day.)
2nd story:
That was one of those dumb tests girls do. She thinks you failed, but she's the one who failed.
Story 3: OP reconnected with his parents, took his money back, and then blocked him. So there’s this win too.
First story has two more updates:
Update 3
My wife went out again on Friday, this time she seemed really pensive, not excited at all. she stayed out a little longer, but came home at a reasonable hour, if I did not know what she had been up to previously, I would not have been suspicious. I assume she broke up with her boyfriend.
Saturday morning she cancelled all her future dates of all kinds, everything social was off her calendar, and she replaced them with family activities with me and the kids. She still wouldn't tell me who this man was or discuss him at all. I decided to leave it alone for a while to gather my thoughts.
We went on a family trip yesterday, it was fun, and today we are all going to do family games and hang out. My wife's behavior has changed very dramatically, and she is playing the caring wife, saying nice things to me, and sending me positive messages when I am in a different room, touching my arm, all the things. A fairly dramatic shift from the extreme hostility she has been showing me for months.
But I have been badly burned, so I couldn't trust it. I decided that I was calm enough to figure out who this guy was... so I went looking, and with the help of a dear friend, we figured it out.
See, she had purchased something from him, and that was enough information to figure out who he was, how they met, and how this all began.
Now I am going to be vague, as this would maybe be identifying, and I don't need that in my life, especially if I plan on divorcing. But he followed her on a social media service and she didn't follow him back. He never once posted publicly on her social media, and she never liked or commented on any of his stuff. My wife's social media contains pictures of me and our children. almost exclusively of our children, a couple pictures of me, and only a handful of pictures of my wife. for complicated reasons, her social media has a larger following than most personal social media accounts, which made finding him a real pain in the ass.
This piece of shit saw my kids and me and my wife and thought "I bet those kids would love two christmasses". that's the guy my wife cheated on me with. He is older than me, by more than a decade, but very fit, and very tall. like a fucking meme.
The worst part? she had not blocked him. so it isn't over, it is just on the back burner. I have decided not to mention it, I don't want her to hide it better, I want to know what's going on as I collect evidence for filing for divorce. I don't NEED evidence, but for my own piece of mind, and so that I can grieve, I will finish constructing the puzzle that is my wife's infidelity.
I will also focus on self care, and stay away from vices... I could definitely see myself getting drunk and high every night in response to this... so I should not do that.
I can't file just yet, for complicated financial reasons, but I will be keeping my appointment with the divorce lawyer to explore my options.
until then... we will see. I have 0 trust in my wife. I never thought I would find myself in this position. I don't know what I will do afterwards, I haven't dated in almost 15 years, how does it even work now?
Thank you for all the members of the community who have reached out to me, even the mean ones. all of you have taken the time to engage with me when I could not be anything but self centered in my own grief, and I appreciate you.
I will continue updating as I go.
Update 4 in replies.
Update 4
I decided to take a few days and headed to my parents house. My wife watched the children while I went over and spoke with my folks, after hearing about the situation my sister joined us. my parents are hugely supportive of whatever I choose; though my mom thinks I should get a divorce and has several good divorce lawyers already picked out (she really could not hide her excitement that I might be divorcing my wife), and my father thinks we should work it out and offered to pay for any and all mental health services we need for me, the wife and the kids. My parents have been married for a very long time, and I always wanted a long, stable marriage like they had.
My mother commented that I always did like "complicated relationships with difficult women" and that "your wife has been torturing you for months, everyone has been so worried about you." which feels about right.
They needed a ton of landscaping done, so my sister and I spent the whole time doing landscaping and talking. the weather was finally nice and I had two days of clearing my head and being around people that love me, and getting exercise. by the time I got home I had completely forgot my horrible situation.
My wife even greeted me when I got home and seemed very excited to see me. I was happy to believe for a moment that this was my life, gleeful kids and a happy wife greeting me at the door. it felt really good. I smelled terrible and was covered in dirt ( I did not shower while I was over there, they only have one bar of dove soap that they share, which was how it was when I was a kid, and honestly I would just rather stay dirty) so I went to get changed in my room. the guest bedroom, where I now live, instead of in a room with my wife... and let me tell you, it ALL came flooding back. Just a deep ache and a sadness that the person upstairs was completely different a week and a half ago, and could just as easily flip right back.
We are currently in a holding pattern where my wife just looks at me wondering what I will do and tries to be on her best behavior... which she is already looking exhausted by... and I try to stabilize my emotional state well enough to make it through each day without incident. Either way I have been getting a lot of attention online and in real life from potential suitors, there are a surprising number of women of all age groups who seem to really enjoy what I am about and how I look. I really did not know that there was this much interest.
I am going to start scheduling dates in the next few weeks. I don't know if it is a good idea or not, I don't know if there is anything out there worth finding, but I do know that sitting around my house being sad all the time is no kind of life. oh, and my mom offered to watch my children while I went out on dates... though she doesn't approve of it, if it brings me closer to getting rid of my wife, she will help me do it... that woman is such a trip.
Again, thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. my updates will likely be less frequent going forward, unless something exciting happens. Real life is rarely this complicated and interesting in real time, thank goodness for that.
@@scpfoundation8376 so does that mean he left her
@Spongeboyking Seems more like he is gonna embrace the whole open relationship thing. But with his mom comment?, wouldn't be surprised if his 'wife' goes ballistic and accuse him of cheating lmao
Thank you for these copying in these updates.
@@Spongeboyking hopefully he did, though it just sounds like he’s taking up her of the open relationship.
Story 1: I bet the guy she was hooking up with dumped her or sth and thats why she got all affectionate suddenly…Op RUN
Story 2: OP's partner probably hadn't eaten since her previous meal. OP hadn't eaten for OVER A DAY after having been in the hospital. She's insensitive and selfish tbh
(Not Sharing). OP, NTA. And one thing I've seen over and over again: "Food" issues are _"control"_ issues.
The final story Riley's parents should be glad OP did not call the police for almost killing OP.
I could totally see story 2 being one of those stupid “tests” some people do in their relationships
This been thinking the same like oh he loves me if after starving himself he lets me eat his food.
Nah girl u had multiple opportunities and she still can order or cook.
Get off that high horse and stop acting like a child
Second story: NTA. Is it a requirement of all girlfriends? That all guys must "share" their food? Do they have food taxes? She had several chances of getting something and she ignored every single one. She indeed tried to steal OP's food, worse is doing it while OP is literally starving.
Not Sharing: no shit he doesn't want to share, I'd feel the same way if I hadn't eaten in over a day. Gf is kinda pushing boundaries here.
Story 2: after 32h of not eating I'd happily scarf down my own shoes, so it just sounds hilarious when the gf says she hasn't eaten
Never ask for food from a person who hasnt eaten in over a day. It will never end well
Speaking as someone with constant medical issues, if I ever have to fast before an appointment, I ALWAYS come home to a meal that's ready and waiting for me... Because I have a partner who loves me. If OP's girlfriend knew he was going to go over 24 hours without eating, why didn't she cook AHEAD of time, or order something for both of them?
Is it just me or is rslash’s reaction to any issue that involves couples is “RED FLAG!! DIVORCE!!!!”
Yea lol
In all fairness, MOST couple stories he reads are less about "I love my partner but their laugh is so silly it makes me feel embarrassed, AITA?" and more along the lines of "my partner has systematically abused and manipulated me for years, I want to divorce but my family says I'm the A-hole, AITA?"
Did the woman from the first story have a brain tumor or something? That would explain the sudden unexplained personality shift
I was wondering if she was going through the change along with being just a horrible person
@@lorilancaster5917exactly what I was wondering too. She's around the right age to start, and mood swings are a part of it.
Considering RSLASH didn't finish the favoritism story it goes on in updates that he unblocked his parents met back up with them accepted the check cashed the check and then immediately blocked them again. And they still don't think they did anything wrong.
Story 1: op your wife is controlling and a cheater close the marriage and divorce her not just for your benefit but for your kids because this isn't healthy for you all in the long run.
Story 2: nta tell your gf she reaps what she sows and the only one being unfair is her for pulling this stunt on you after what you've gone through.
Story 3: nta this is a crystal clear case of golden child syndrome they expect you to work hard, pay rent and share your stuff yet said they don't even want your sister to get a job, good luck and hope you enjoy your life now you're free of your parents.
Story 3 is the reason why I think it's scummy for parents to charge their kids rent, especially while they're still in school. So long as they are contributing to the greater household, i.e. cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, something, they should get to live in the house rent free. The kids didn't decide to exist and be born in that family. That was the parents' choice, so they have a responsibility of care.
Story 3 nta I heard this one before. They made him work himself to the home for 4 years then gives a none apology. Good riddance I say.
I have had the test before that I was required to not eat for 24 hours and I fainted in the clinic hallway and hit my head on a wall when I fell. I was a bit grumpy when I woke up and pretty much gave the nurses the silent treatment. I know they were doing their job but I was an angry teenager who felt like punishing them for what they put me through. At home I locked myself in a room with my food and loud music so as to not hear anyone; people, cats and or dogs begging for any until I was done eating everything.
I'm glad OP in the third story didn't take the check, because if they had it would have basicly told the parents that everything they did was ok, that it was ok that they basically stole OPs life for 4+ years, and basically cleared their "guilty" conscience with out actually fixing or truly making up for anything they did. I hope the grandpa went over and tore them a new one and demanded all the money that he gave to OP back. Good on you OP for standing up for yourself and not letting them get away with stealing your life.
Story 3: The parents may have well said “Here you go! All that hard work, effort, and loss of your college years was for nothing! Surprise!!” What wastes of space.
6:40 I was in that situation and man you become violent if somebody tries to take your food, not that somebody tried, but you devour it like it's going to create legs.
Story 1: I get divorce is hard but OP would not be TA if he got a divorce. The fact that the wife doesn’t wanna be married anymore but wants “options” is just sad. And now that OP probably got “the upside” of their little open marriage (or she got the downside because no other man can “measure up to her husband”) she suddenly wants to make things work. And the fact her open marriage suggestion ONLY LASTED A WEEK?! What the heck changed?! She ruined her own marriage and then wanted to cry about it.
Story 2: classic female mentality (no offense to all females, but come on). When a guy asks “I’m ordering something to eat, what do you want?” Just ADMIT YOU WANT SOMETHING!! Don’t steal it off your man’s plate or pull some puppy eyes for “cutesy pity”. Don’t most guys find that as a deal breaker?! (I’m female too but I’d never do this unless offered).
Story 3: so basically OP had to share everything and got the short end of the stick in life….while his parents thought they were basically doing OP a favor by “teaching him how to be an adult”. That check was basically “we taught you well, so here ya go. Praise us for being good parents”. OP was right to rip up the check and tell his parents where to shove it. Love the grandpa in this too.
Story 4: so the 15 year old is a demon child who has problems that the sister in law doesn’t know how to handle…and OP shouldn’t have to handle WHILE PREGNANT!!! OP was right to kick him out and say that he can never come back. What would the SIL have done/said if that shove cost OP her child? No amount of apologies or excuses would ever mend that pain
It makes me feel weird knowing that the girlfriend didn’t have food ready or order food for her boyfriend when he got out of a procedure. I’ve been under twice and both times my people (family the first time friends the second cause my boyfriend was long distance with me at the time) got me food as soon as I could get out. My boyfriend had surgery recently and I did the same for him. I feel like if your partner hasn’t eaten in hours and had to deal with doctors all day you should at least try to make them comfortable and feed them. Her disregard just feels weird. OP said that she told him to cook and she’d cook too. Not that she was cooking for him nor did she offer to get him food. It just seems way worse than I think Rslash said.
I’ve recently recommended that parents secretly keep rent money from children living at home to gift as a future deposit, it teaches financial responsibility and protects the money from frivolous spending
Can we petition for rSlash to read wholesome stories at least once a week? I think it would be good for him and us mentally. I get anxiety after too many of his videos about all these stories where terrible things happen and it really seems like this stuff gets to him too sometimes
Last story.
OP would be completely justified in banning the 15 y/o for life even if she wasn't pregnant!
Story 1 The marriage isn't dead but they need to put in work to rebuild it. It's not uncommon for self sabotage to happen in a long term relationship when the communication diminishes.
Reddit and AITA YT loves to pretend that if the relationship isn't perfect 100% of the time you need to divorce. Humans are imperfect and so are marriages.
Btw. 15 year relationship and 8 years married.
Story 2: I hate that it took OP to have starved for 30+ hours before this behavior is considered “rude.” 🙄
The thieving parents story reminded me of my situation. I tried so hard to save up and move out while working and going to school. I worked 3 jobs at the same time to went to school during my early 20's. My mom kept threatening to raise the rent and every time I snapped back that I'll move out, she wouldn't do it.
I'm so glad I don't live with her anymore
Is it only me or this is second day in a roll that we have repeating from before first stories ...
I did the math for the rent story, 750 a month for 48 months is 36000 dollars, those parents took over 30k from him for what? To help him save up? Glad the grandfather (?) was kind of enough to help him out.
Before I got my own place, my mom told me that I wouldn't have to pay rent for a couple of months before I moved and use the money to save up to buy stuff for my flat and she also bought me a few things to help me.
Story 1: This is an extremely toxic dynamic for the kids to grow up around. Divorce stat.
Story 3: parents shouldn't charge their kids rent. They should teach them how to save and budget money, especially in this financial climate. Your kid didn't ask to be born, taking their money isn't teaching them the value of a dollar
Op should’ve cashed that check . Also rent idea is actually a good idea , as it teaches kids to pay rent before leaving . However it only works if the amount of rent isn’t insane and if you give them the rent money back once they graduate . The issue though is the fact they did this while op was in school and didn’t do the same to the sister .
Story of the college kid. His parents were wrong not to discuss in detail what they were doing with that rent money and why. Just presenting a check is not helpful and having your kid struggle is even worse. There is hard work and there is struggle to the point OP felt alone and unwanted. I hope OP finds peace and forgives his parents. Forgiveness is not because they are right but because he doesn’t need that negative baggage in his life.
He met up with the parents, got another check, waited for the check to clear, and then he blocked them. 😂
Story 2: In my family several family members get hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and when it happens we get grouchy. Do not play games with us when we are in that state. My father and I are usually the two most laid back family members but when our blood sugar drops we get mean and short tempered. When the “You aren’t you when you’re hungry” Snickers commercials came out everyone, the hypoglycemics and non all went “that’s you/me!” Whenever we have to fast we have to fight being AHs and my father has outright started to refuse medical tests that require he fasts, which is not helpful. So OP is NTA because it SUCKS having to fast and then having someone play games like his gf did. He knew how much he wanted to eat and he ordered that amount, not only did he do that but he offered her MULTIPLE TIMES to get her something two. No mean no.
I'm the oldest child in my family. I'm 33. My brother is 29. And my sister is 26. I wasnt able to take behind the wheel due to money and didnt get my license til 19. My bro and sis were able to take behind the wheel. I only got my 1st car cause i was in an accident that nearly paralyzed me, thanks to the settlement. My bro and sis were given my parents car. I paid my own car insurance. Bro and sis dont. My bro and sis were always given way more attention than me and now im super independent and dont tell my parents anything or ask for help. All 3 of us were bullied in school. I had to stick ot out. My sis was moved to a private school and my bro was allowed to drop out and get his ged. Ive had a job since i was 18. My brother only got a job a year ago. My sister got one when she was 23. When i was younger, i was the one that got blamed for stuff and spanked for it, even if i didnt do it. Im now the one taking care of my parents in their old age. My dad has dementia and my mom has really fragile bones. Im the only one of my siblings stable enough to take care of them. Being the oldest sucks ass.
As a 14yo - the last story is nuts, like why would you do that, even if I were upset, the most I'd do is explain my feelings and leave the room, not start a fight, shove a woman to the point of bleeding to fight her husband
For that second story, ive accidentally done that 30 hour fast too.
I was getting double blood work (ironically the same testing) done at 2 different locations for different offices. It also happened to be my first covid shot, and i had to stay an extra 20 minutes for monitoring.
Story 2: my instinct is that gf was upset that you seemed not to want to eat HER food/food that she cooked, and since you continued to go with the takeaway, your “punishment” is having to share it. It’s petty, but maybe she is really insecure?
I understand wanting to order out when you’re super hungry - it’s faster and more consistent. Her insistence on you eating food she cooks, then trying to get you involved in cooking, THEN tripling down on you both having to have the same food/you must share your food…yeah.
Unless she was secretly trying to poison you or something under the guise of “home cooking”, gf seems petty and insecure.
Story 2: For me it seems, she wanted to have a nice meal together. His appointment was 4 hours late, so she probable also had to wait 4 hours, so maybe she also skipped a meal. Now he comes home and ruins her plans for a nice evening cooking together. Thats why she is also indecisive about what to do. I think she wanted to do something nice for him and he gave her the cold shoulder and hurt her feelings. I dont think its a red flag, they just need to talk it out. (And no, he was not the A-hole. He was just hungry.)
"Divorce her" is a sentence I'll never hear redditor say
Story 1: op really need to get a divorce, life is way too short to be with someone wrong. If he stays with her, only thing he can expect from the future is unhappy life and bitter existence when he is old and lives alone. Yes, she is going to dump op someday in anyway, she clearly doesn't love op, so that is going to happen.
Starting a new chapter in your life is always scary, but there is also hope when you do that and possibility to find happiness. Those people who are too scared to start again will never find happiness.
Story 1, open relationship or not, she will get on OP's case if he saw other women. It's how these cheaters work. They're the only ones allowed to cheat while their "partner" is not allowed to so much as even LOOK at another partner. This relationship is beyond dead at this point. Plus the wife made her cheating about as obvious as it could get. She may as well had come back home with a big neon sign on her head that screamed "I cheated~! Aren't you proud of me~?". They need to separate. OP for his own mental health., the wife because she doesn't deserve him and the kids because they need a more stable situation than what they're dealing with now.
Story 2, this girl is petty. Like a really petty child. OP came from surgery And had not eating for over one and a half DAYS. Of course OP would be tired and not wishing to cook. NO ONE would! The last thing you need to do is handle a hot stove or oven while tired. Accidents WILL happen. OP offered to order her something but, because she wasn't getting HER way, she said no. Sorry OP isn't a robot, lady. She decided to punish OP by trying to take the food he ordered from him. It wasn't sharing, it was her punishing him for not bowing to her whims. If things were the other way around she'd be expecting him to have a full buffet ready for her when she got home. If he did so much at home why couldn't she do ONE meal for someone she is in a relationship with.
Story 3, the immediate sharing of OP's PS4 angers me. They could have put some money towards it so it could be more "shared". Pushing your child to get a job when they can so they learn the value of working for the things you want in life is a great thing as is the holding onto the money that the child was paying to give back. But this, this is terrible. The sister doesn't need to pay, she wasn't told to get a job and forced to pay this rent. Looks like a double standard is going on here.
Story 4, the SIL is lucky OP and her husband didn't call the police for assault! Riley needs help here. The fact Riley got mad because his jacket was moved means that he probably had something in there he shouldn't have had. Then had his "pride" hurt when he was ushered away like a child only to hurt OP by shoving her into a wall which was unnecessary. Riley made a conscious decision to hurt a family member for no reason just so he could go and fight with his uncle. Guy's lucky his uncle didn't lay him out as he would have deserved. There's some major issues in that household and that six year old is in for a rough time. There are many ways this could have come up, maybe the family isn't as happy as it seems and Riley's dealing with something from his mother or father. Maybe it's the little brother having more attention so he's acting out. Could even be a bad crowd he's running around with and now he's in pretty deep. It's only speculation but either way, this kid needs his head straightened out before his life is permanently ruined.
Story 2:
"Yes" is "Yes" and "No" is "No"
Story 2: She proved herself to be a terrible partner before he even got home. Under those conditions, a good partner would say, "Text me what you want to eat and when you expect to arrive. I've got you covered." She not only didn't support him, she made the situation much more difficult, with an even longer wait time before eating, and then tried to take from him something that was - by that point - medically necessary. Sorry to sound extreme, but that entire meal situation is break-up worthy.
In my opinion,if someone is willing to or already inflicted a lethal injury or at least an injury that makes you bleed to you,you're allowed to return the injury in self-defense and more,that's what I was taught and so far,I'm leading a good life because of it
So if I was Last story OP's husband,I would've been in jail and Riley......best case scenario,in the hospital
4:07 y’all can disagree idc but as someone who’s still in therapy for other reasons but has gotten to the point where i’ve mostly heal my self sabotaging, that’s EXACTLY what the wife sounds like she’s doing. She seems like she could’ve grown up in a hope or relationships or an environment in general where there was no stability and normal, no constant love and affection without there being a downside, a fallout to it, a consequence.
Then she had it. The perfect life, husband, children. It’s all perfect, but to someone who hasn’t had that without repercussions attached due to abuse or whatever other reason, she’s expecting it to break, she doesn’t keep hope it’ll last and it will hurt less if she ruins it herself than to let someone else hurt her again like she has been tile and time again.
Then she tries- and she can’t. Regret, shake, guilt, she can’t do it because she knows what she has is good and but she doesn’t know how to accept it.
PLEASE OP IF YOU SEE THIS, please help your wife get therapy with someone who specializes in helping people who def sabotage. PLEASE help save your wife to having a better life and a healthier and happier outlook on relationships and good things happening to her so she can appreciate and enjoy them without the fear of it being taken away or ruined.
I’m not saying to stay married, no. OP is clearly emotionally checked out but she needs help
Story 2: Boys, listen - she's going to say no, she's going to say she doesn't want anything, she's going to say she's not hungry. She's LYING. Whether consciously or unconsciously, she's lying. Just buy extra food, and it'll be a lovely little surprise.
If your partner isn't trying to GIVE you food after you haven't eaten for that long, that's not a person you'll want to marry. So why continue dating them?
1. OP is NTA, but the marriage is officially over...divorce and cut your losses.
2. OP is NTA, girlfriend is AH for wanting his food even after she said no to takeout
3. OP is NTA, his parents are but not his grandpa
4. OP is NTA, Riley is dangerous and needs serious help
Story 1 op shouldn’t get a divorce if he doesn’t want it
@KadeStringer2.0 true but he's withdrawn emotionally from the marriage, he basically doesn't love her anymore
The food story... Have you never met a woman before? It's one of the biggest cliches ever, that women say they don't want anything and then want to when the food comes. If they ever say "don't order anything for me" just order something anyway and put it in the fridge, if for some reason she actually meant what she said.
Second story: I remember seeing a menu which an option saying my girlfriend isn't hungry. It was the biggest item on the menu. Sounds like she wanted to mooch off his plate, which is bad enough, but when you haven't eaten for a day and a half, that's just terrible.
Third story: I have heard of a suggestion to charge your child rent after a certain age only to give them a check for the entire amount saved up as a leg up when they finally move out. I'm not sure how much it was they recommended, but I'm pretty sure it was less than what they were asking for. It's a sensible idea, teaching responsibility, and money management, and if the child already has a job that is even better (which would explain why the daughter and youngest son haven't had that yet), but it does require being sensible because of the aforementioned lack of social life and networking opportunities. So far from it being a straightforward case of eldest child has most responsibility, it's actually more nuanced those still pretty bad when you look at it as a whole.
Story 2: nobody who hasn't eaten in over a day deserves to be called selfish, I did the same thing when I had surgery and I wasn't able to eat for 40 hour, so I was famished, and the first thing I did was go to the 24 burger King and got two whoppers to stop my stomach from cramping to me not consuming any calories
Story 1: Divorce her, OP. There is no coming back from this.
Story 2: Yeah I'd end the relationship over that. I'm not staying with someone who's either that selfish or is playing childish games or both.
Riley should have learned a lesson that night. Maybe he "tripped down the stairs"
The reverse rslash: When you're getting ready to call op a butthole but then rslash hits you with a an opening opinion that completely changes your mind
i always see slash with the most batshit insane titles on my feed and i’m like ok well i HAVE to see wtf this is about