I recently lost my boyfriend to suicide--it happened on my birthday and at the time we weren't together as I had asked for some space. He had a lot of stress on his plate and was battling his own demons, but I still felt, and still feel, a lot of guilt. My therapist told me something though that has really helped. He said, "None of us has enough divinity within us to affect the actions and choices of others." I hope these words bring someone else comfort as well. If you've lost someone recently to suicide, please know, it is NOT. YOUR. FAULT. Sending you love and hugs 💞
Family are the HARDEST people to say no to. Especially if you’re close with them. I’m so proud of you for saying no, even though it was hard. Some people might not see it as a big deal- but as a fellow serial people pleaser, this is something that keeps us up at night lol. Thank you for sharing that tip ❤
I learned the source for my empathy, unstable identity, people pleasing, picking bad boyfriends, is due to my father who is a narcissist. Even though I though I had a great childhood I’ve learned now as an adult that there has been no rhyme or reason to his words my whole life because he had no emotion just a need to continually make himself the center of attention and put down everyone around him! I’m so angry but happy to have found reasons about myself and my personality that were ingrained into me since birth, but a lot of it’s because my dad has been unknowingly raising me with abuse. My prayers with everyone else struggling with any difficulties, illness, trauma and stress in your life!
I always love seeing you Carli! I’m a therapist and love that you change the stigma of mental health & share your story. I included a communication skill below❤️ Something that I learned that is helpful is using ‘i feel’ statements to express myself especially with family members or in a relationship. It helps reduce negativity and blame. Ex: instead of saying you upset me because you do things last minute etc. you can say ‘I feel’ upset because it was last minute and I felt anxious etc. Words matter as well, this creates a different tone and helps the person understand you more as well! Been watching you for yearssss carli sending you love and happiness xoxo❤️
What if you’ve used this method before and the person says “well you shouldn’t feel that way” and the person still doesn’t understand you. speaking from personal experience. What then?
You’re the only TH-camr I’ve consistently watched since the beginning! I love how pure, real and relatable you are ❤️ I had a baby 5 months ago and am not with the father anymore and seeing you grow and heal has helped me see the “light at the end of the tunnel” Thank you for sharing as much as you do 🫶🏼
Setting boundaries, practicing self care and taking time for myself have been the most important tools that I’ve taken away from therapy. Therapy is an integral part of my life and I love it!
One thing my therapist taught me that has always stuck with me. Is to stop forcing yourself to be around people who aren't around for you. And it's been very eye opening how you can go day to day life and people you think really care about you don't even reach out.... or aren't around.
I used to be so fixated on high PH waters. Over the last year researching I realized it’s just highly processed tap water with minerals added back after it was stripped. I never drink any purified water anymore and stick only to spring water which is real water that’s never been treated. Spring also comes in a variety of PH balances if that’s important to you! Just some food for thought! Longtime fan :)
Carli , you taught me so much over the years ! Like cutting my own hair , and doing my eyebrows . I have loved you from the very beginning and related to you so much! We are so similar and we’re both Libras . This video you talked about balance and always being a yes person even when you want to say no! That is totally me as well, and yet another Libra trait (being a people pleaser) ! As Libras we are just natural charmers and we always need to please! Im going to use the advice your therapist gave you everytime I land myself in a situation that I want to say no to lol. I’m so excited for you to make more videos !! I’ve missed you 🎉
It’s really amazing how true you’ve stayed all these years to your channel. I love it & look forward to your videos!! ❤. So many OG TH-camrs have just kinda abandoned their channels or rarely post ….. you still put up great content… GRWM, story time, vlogs- all of it & I love it!! Also former (born & raised) Jersey girl here!! Much love from (now) NC!! Xoxo
Carli, I genuinely appreciate you being open and honest! I’ve always had respect for you as a person, but hearing how open and canny you were, felt so great! It just validates the fact that no matter how big of an influencer is, they’re human too going through real life obstacles like I am. You’re beautiful inside and out and thank you ☺️
It’s been helpful for me this week to learn about intrinsic validation vs. extrinsic. As a former people pleasing perfectionist, violent abuse / r word victim, C-PTSD person. Finding VALUE in self validating and befriending your internal voice is so …. Nice. It’s coming back to yourself
YES! Self validation is truly the key to a free, fulfilled spirit. Absolutely easier said than done, I wish you nothing but luck and happiness on your healing journey. When in doubt, know that you have a friend walking longside of you on the other side of the earth.
What makes me happiest about watching you is that you haven’t changed at all! So many other TH-camrs that I’ve watched for years are so different now that they have money and success and I just want to say thank you for being real ♥️
Carli(!) this is legit my FAVORITE video you’ve ever done!!! I loved how authentic and open and vulnerable the conversation was. Much love from Utah 💙🐧 Something a therapist taught me is that people pleasing is like abandoning yourself bc it’s like you’d rather abandon yourself then upset the person. When I thought about that, I realized there’s no one worth abandoning myself for ☺️
My therapist told me that every blow to the ego is a gift to the soul. The more you humble and allow yourself to be vulnerable, it feels so good to the soul.
It's so lovely when you mention Nicole. l love you both and it's no surprise that you two have such a great bond. You are both such gentle and positive souls!❤❤
Just want to comment and say I took the first step to getting help with anxiety the other day and after talking with the Dr without even doing any treatment yet I felt so much better! So if anyone ever needs help do not be embarrassed so many people need help and you can’t throw a rock and hit someone who doesn’t get it so you are not alone 😃 btw I love you Carly ❤
Yes! There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing medication, therapy or a combination of the two! A happy mama is a happy family. I’ve always was so “anti medicine” (for me) but sometimes we need to utilize the amazing medical interventions available to us today. Keep going mamas! ❤
I’m In therapy now, and I learned to read the room recognize the good and bad things in a situation and make a decision based on what’s best for me. I find myself idealizing a situation when sometimes it’s not the best thing.
I would love to see a video from you and Nicole together. Maybe topics like what what you’ve learned in life, "mistakes" you needed to make, career path, relationships or just about friendships in general.
I love that you shared that piece of advice about pleasing people cause sometimes it's hard to tell people no especially the people that you love most, you almost feel obligated. I'm definitely going to try that out. 💜
Great advice on the saying “no” when you really don’t want to do something for others. I’m going to start trying it because I always say yes to everyone as well to try to please everyone but myself. 😌
You’re one of the first people I ever found on TH-cam and became obsessed with and 10 years later I still am. You’re so kind and knowledgeable and I love your personality. Thank you for making your videos. This really helped me.
As someone who struggles with communication with my SO, I brought that up in therapy and learned someone really valuable about myself. When I tend to cut off my boyfriend and not let him complete his thoughts, I am acting in anxiety. When I do this I am anxious and I had to learn the root as to why I was anxious. All so eye opening and has really helped me correct my anxious behaviors for the better! 😊
I gained over 20 kilos since I had my first child 6 years ago, I have 3 children now and I have to get back to myself. Thanks for the inspiration ❤ been watching you since you’ve started and I am truly grateful for your realness
I love what your therapist taught you deal with a situation when you want to say no but you say yes. I have learned if your heart isn't really into something and you feel guilty and say yes. it's better to feel guilty then resentment, that's helped me when I'm just unsure. Sometimes we say yes but later you just miserable and unhappy. Love you Carli I hope to meet you one day, I just can feel your genuine energy through a screen 💕
Best advice I got from my therapist: as the person you're talking to to rephrase what you just told them in their own words, cause sometimes people just have different definitions of the same word and it can create the most horrible of misscommunications and lead to both parties being upset over the most mundane of things. Seriously life-changing try it anyone who reads this comment. For anyone who reads this: you are beautiful and I wish you to have a lovely day. ❤️
I've been in therapy too and it's so refreshing talking to someone out the family and friends, who can respond you whit what you need to hear and not what you want to here, as you were saying! After all the process, now I feel myself more, I know me more, what I want, what I need and beening a "people pleaser" like you made me struggle but now I know how to handle it, even if it's hard sometimes. Thank you for sharing whit us, it's really inspiring! Love you always 💖
I agree once you stop thinking about losing weight 24/7 and more on how you feel, hunger cues ect it just comes off on it’s own. I recently stopped weighing myself too and I feel so free
I love what you said about not thinking you're on a diet. I learned that this spring and I have lost around 30 pounds so far. I am very heavy, and I have a long way to go. I was walking twice a day. Now it's only once a day weather providing. I live in central Massachusetts, and we are getting the remnants of a hurricane this weekend. I also agree with therapy. I was sexually abused by a family member when I was very young. Talking to someone that knows what to tell you is very important. Lastly, you look stunning in this video.
thank you for sharing your story!!!! i had a similar experience my son is 18 months. i also completely believe in mindset i didnt start working out until 3 months postpartum, i bought all new clothes so i could love my new body at my heaviest. i breastfed & formula fed but was never hungry i had to force myself to eat. i had preeclampsia during birth so now im more likely to have high bloodpressure, strokes and heart attacks when i am older. it was a big reality check on my health. so i decided to become healthy, stop eating takeout all the time, go on lots of walks and give myself me time by working out and now down 13 lbs pre pregancy & never felt better. its not about losing weight its about being the best version of yourself for yourself & your baby.
Love you, Carli!! Great tips and advice ❤️ Also I’d reconsider the non-reusable plastic water bottle usage. Creating plastic bottles releases tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and a ton of waste since not all are recycled. Most wind up in landfills even if you try to recycle them.
I love watching your videos. In therapy I've learned that I'm a survivor, not a victim. I struggle with not saying no and wanting to please people. its really hard. thank you for being transparent about therapy. I statements are great too
Carli you’ve always been super inspirational I first started working out/ plant based eating a few years ago. I fell off my routine during the pandemic but I’m getting back into it. Therapy has definitely changed the game. Took 4 therapists to get to a good fit but I feel more confident in accepting myself and those around me.
You can talk about anything in prayer sis, Almighty God cares about us and wants us to talk to him and for us to hear him from too! There’s also prophetic symbolism, miracles signs and wonders, I’m glad you’re healing! It’s important to grow. Much love! 💞✨🔥🦋
Hi Carli, I’ve been a fan and watched every video since I was in high school, and now I have my own career as a professional therapist so this was awesome to hear from you. So glad you’ve found that therapy was helpful for you, sending love ❤
Your mindset on food & balance is the wagon I've been on after having my 2nd baby. I also try to workout 3x a week on a good week I do 4x a week. Sometimes I just don't feel like it so I don't push myself to go but other days I have too because I have to find the balance of remaining active; moving. Other time I don't have 45 min to exercise but if I can squeeze in 35 min I'll do something. Focusing on areas that I want to improve. I live much happier than following a strict diet plan or workout. So happy you posted this. Thank you.
In therapy a few years ago I learned that any time I’m feeling overwhelmed with any type of negative/uncomfortable emotion a quick & dramatic change of body temperature can be soo helpful! Usually (when I’m dealing w something difficult) I’ll pause to consider my climate/body temp. If I realize I’m burning up I’ll take off my sweatshirt or splash cold water on my skin. Or if I realize I’m freezing I’ll drink hot tea and/or grab some blankets. This sense of instant relief (from the temp change) makes whatever I was stressing about in the first place suddenly seem manageable. Unfortunately this isn’t going to solve any deep rooted situations you’re dealing with instantly but it is such a healthy coping skill. Wild how something so simple can make such a significant positive impact on my life!
Therapy has changed my thought process; I'm also a people pleaser and self-love always gets put on the back burner. I've decided to be "selfish" for a while to get back to being happy! Do what makes you happy!
Love how honest you are Carli 💕 and I’ve really enjoyed watching you grow I’m a new mommy and can relate to you so much thanks for always being motivating and so kind hearted 💕
Love you Carli! Been watching you for soooo long, you’ve never changed always been this amazing woman ❤️ you have evolved from being at home with your mom doing your makeup and ootd to this amazing mom and speaking about real life topics such as therapy and mom life in addition to makeup and beauty ! I just love it, my life has also evolved so it’s been amazing to log onto my TH-cam and to still relate to you and your videos. God bless you and baby renz ❤
It also helps if you have always worked out before, during after having a baby and eating healthy. But for people that went through ppd or ppa that is not the case. You eat because if gives you comfort and it’s something you can control in your life when other things are out of your control. Either way Carli I mean you have always looked fabulous❤
thank you so much for your honesty about the podcast, i am such a people pleaser too and end up getting mad at myself afterwards, something i'm working on
Love your videos! I'm a people pleaser myself and slowly getting out of it. I've said yes to things that I've wanted to say no to simply because I don't want to upset anyone BUT I'm letting myself down and that is not acceptable! Keep the lovely videos coming! We love you Carli!❤
UGH love you so much its sickening!!! kidding, but seriously.. have been watching you since i was in college in like 2011 and despite neither of us (I think) being in therapy then, I swear you just always brightened my day and made it better and now (we're both in therapy, yay for us!!) and thriving and you still brighten my day
Usually don't comment but I had too now. Absolutely loved this episode. Your truth you genuine kindness and love was felt. I can relate to all of the topics you touched on. The weight loss especially after pregnancy can become stressful. The issue with not saying no and people pleasing I related too as well. Just wanna say I'm so happy that young people have a beautiful role model like you inside and out. That they don't have to feel these pressures and realize they are fine and beautiful where they are now. I'm glad you are doing therapy and doing the work that most wont.💖love and light Carli💖
PLEEEEEEASEEEE BRING YOUR PALETTE BACK!!! I know what you said about BH but please find another way 😭 my palette broke during a move but it was my all time favorite. The highlighters and shadows are really unmatched. The only palette I ever needed!
I’m so proud of you to refuse something you don’t feel to do and even share with us, just want u to know when it’s true it will never hurt, we feel you girl and we know it’s a big step to share since you don’t want any drama in your real +intent life, hug
My first video I ever saw of you was the Megan fox tutorial. And I remember being ADDICTED! I went through like 2 whole boyfriends (of mine)during my time watching you over the years. And A lot of personal advice I took was from you over the years. I also attempted cutting my hair in ultrasound school and using brow bars to go with you! Learned about makeup brushes and licking the tip to put more pigmented color on and transitioning into the eye drops and setting spray. 😂❤ You are my first TH-camr. The one that got me started on this app . It’s been great growing with you, and learning with you. And celebrating and hurting and being happy with you. ❤
Happy for you and appreciate you sharing your experience with therapy. From a people pleaser , I know how hard that is to do. Something that has helped me is starting small . Don't try to set boundaries and make big changes that is too overwhelming to start. You gotta start small. Like at Starbucks if they mess up your order, say you normally don't ask for them to fix it to avoid confrontation. You start there for ex. Small achievable goals :) still working on this .
I love your videos so much and I'm so proud of how far you have come. I'm glad you aren't doing the podcast, I myself dont listen to them either. It's good to always put yourself first. You're really busy and are doing a lot right now with Lorenzo and all the fur babies
Basically if you are a mom who doesn’t have the financially power to have a personal trainer, an organizer (or person to help u with ur schedule) and different types of beauty procedures, don’t put stress and pressure on yourself to look exactly like before or Even better than before. Cause is not normal or natural. Patience and self love❤
I never ever diet for the simple reason the second I'm told I can't have something I automatically want it more than anything. Instead I will try to make healthier choices but if I want something that's considered "bad/unhealthy" I just control how much I eat of it. I find I eat a lot less and healthier if I don't restrict myself.
Thank you Carli for sharing something so real. I needed to hear that it’s ok to want to be your own person and do what I love to do in life instead of thinking in my messy mind that I will be a disappointment in others eyes.. I will use what you just shared. I am going through the same situation but with my husband.. I love you and thank you for being such an inspiration #aspiretoinspire ❤
I went through couple therapy and it was such a great learning experience for us both! We come from 2 different religious backgrounds and it sometimes can be hard at times as weird as that sounds because we are so different but hearing how to work with one another and talk better/communicate was interesting to learn!
Wow, this video made me feel so much better. I’m currently pregnant and have struggled with body dysmorphia for as long as I can remember. This give me hope for getting back to me after I give birth. Thank you Carli ❤
I love Carli and have been a long time follower of hers. But please know to not compare yourself, she’s naturally thin and has a fast metabolism and has the resources to do the extra stuff to look the way she does. Just know to love your body and just love a healthy active lifestyle 💜
Carli I’d love to see a short video on your personal preferences on body sprays or perfumes 💕💕💕💕 I’m super curious to know what kind of fragrance your into !🤔👌💕💕💕
Thank you Carli for sharing parts how therapy has helped you ❤️❤️ One of the main thing in which therapy and self reflection has helped me was that I create my life the way it is and how I create them, in the past I felt a bit like a victim to whatever happened to me wasn't dependent on me only, even if I did my best others could still change my own reality, and the biggest thing to realize was that no one can change your reality, except you, and that was very liberating 🌟 even though I realized that it was all my doing, what I didn't like about my life (also what I liked too🥰), it was immensely liberating to feel that knowledge, that we are directing out own lives ❤️
I'm a people pleaser too. And I do way more for other people than myself and I don't know who I am and I care what people think about me. My therapist was a little blunt about that. My in-laws were never really nice to me, and my hubby would always stick up for me and he even cut them off when they went too far. But families fight so, I always encouraged him to make up with them. And I would go with him, halfway across the country to visit. My therapist says they abused me enough and I just keep going back for more. I thought of it more as, I'm supporting my husband and offering the same courtesy I would expect out of him, like if I got mad at my family, I would want him to be able to forgive them too. But I guess I'm supposed to cut them off and just stay away. It still doesn't make sense to me, but that's what my therapist says. I'm doing a phone session tomorrow since I went on a work trip with my husband.
Two things that I remind myself constantly is “what I can control.. my words, actions etc” another is to be present (count my blessings) and to stop waiting for the future (do things now 😊 love ya Carli! Therapy is amazing ❤
You know I have been so stressed because I have gained so much weight over the past 4 years due to me being in nurse prac school. I graduate next month so I told myself I have to focus on myself since school will be done. I really like your way of seeing weight lose and being healthy. I am very overweight so need all the help I can get lol. But seriously I need to stop seeing it as a diet but just doing what makes me feel good inside and healthy. The therapy part I really have been wanting to do that. Anyways I love you and all you do! I hope you have a wonderful day Carli! Been here since you started 11 years ago! ❤💜
Carli, I’m so glad you’re in therapy it totally helps❤ I’ve been in therapy for 13 years now ever since I left my abusive marriage, it’s help me find myself again and gave me strength to move on and deal with my 5 sons who also were abused, they still can be challenging but I’m a lot stronger to tell them how it is and not let them bully me around. 2 of my sons moved in with me and my current hubby and I btw I married my best friend ❤ anyway my therapist asked me just yesterday what do I want from my boys and I said “all I want is for them to follow my f@$&”n rules” she almost fell off her chair laughing lol She’s seen me grow in the years!! Anyway Hun stick with therapy, you’re an amazing young lady, your baby is the cutest ❤ Stay strong Love you girl❤
So happy to be early 🫶🏾💗 GRWMs are some of my fav videos of yours (next to mukbangs & vlogs hehe) 💞 Love you, have a great weekend!! 🤍 Editing to add: thank you for the honesty + advice towards the end of the video, that was really refreshing. It’s so good that you’re putting yourself first. Bless you Carli 💕
As a therapist it’s always refreshing to hear big TH-cam people normalize seeking mental health services. We all deserve a healthier community and version of ourselves
I have noticed since beginning therapy that I’m too self critical, that I need to give myself more credit and I people please a lot as well. I totally understand when you talk about keeping others happy. Unfortunately at this time, I have to look for a new therapist 😅
YOU GOT THIS! I'm proud of you taking control of your wellbeing and setting boundaries!! The more you do it the less people in your life is getting access to your energy. Therapy is the best thing that I ever did for myself. To learn strategies such as how to problem solv is sooooo good so here's the short version: 1) Identify problem, 2) Brainstorm solutions without judgement 3)Assessment of proposed solution (postitiv vs negative) 4) Compare and choose a solution (the goal here is to just start to try something) 5) Try the solution out (Make a plan of how to execute your solution and be specific with What, When and Where) 6)Evaluate your result and if a new problem occur than do a new problem solving step 1-5 :) Interpretation vs facts (which can cause HUGE misunderstanding). Take a moment and really think about if what you're thinking is FACTS or is it your interpretation? ASK questions to be sure :) I love you and I've been here since 2015 so I'm OG Carli fan! What an absolutely beautiful soul you are. Keep going darling, you got this! Love from Linny
Carli you look snaaaaattccchedddd!!!! The most beautiful part of you is the respect you have for your son. We don’t realize that subconscious children are protective over their mothers, and putting them in an awkward position ( by wearing overtly sexy or being overtly sexy to cause “unwanted” attention) . God Bless Lorenzo and you❤❤
One thing my therapist taught me and really change things for me is “when someone shows you who they are, believe it.” This has helped me in so many ways. It has really changed ever having an unrealistic expectation on people that will never be anything but who they are whether that be good or bad. Love from another woman taking it one day a time too🫶🏼
I have learned that feeling guilty is a waste of an emotion. It replaces a deeper issue. So when I start feeling that guilt…….I ask myself why do I feel that way and is it really guilt or something else. 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻
I love you so much Carli!In the past I was a people pleaser and have this unrealistic want for everyone to like me.I have been actively working on it.I think it truly is a Libra trait something we have in common including the fact that I'm a MUA esthetician,astrology space science are my passion,and love to travel & continually learn.Your makeup is stunning.I adore this neon orange 🍊 It's giving gorge🧡Please give us some more content soon📙
I’m having a behavior therapist session tomorrow & she had recommended chatting with a psychiatrist. I declined because I am terrified. Should I just do it? Im just not happy in my life right now….
Do you know how when you’re younger and you just listen to music for the beat but when you’re older you understand the lyrics? well now that I’m in my 30 Ashanti song foolish lyric hit home today, she said: “Ooh, I trusted you, I trusted you So sad, so sad what love will make you do All the things that we accept Be the things that we regret…”
One thing I learnt from my Therpaist whenever I get upset about relationships not working out is, if I where a cake on my own with frosting, such pretty decorations and the other person was the cherry on the cake. Without them, I am still a beautiful cake with frosting, glitter and gorgeous decorations. It’s nice to have the cherry (the other person) on my cake but without the cherry is the cake still there? Yes. Is the cake still absolutely beautiful? Yes so the cherry isn’t a must. My cake won’t fall apart and crumbed without them xx
I have learned, in losing both my parents - how hard that is, I have grief come in waves out of nowhere, even after I think I have a handle on it. I get exhausted again - and have days I don’t want to get out of bed. What I am learning, is to not be mad at myself for this. Healing is not success like a job. Give ourselves a break .
I’m around your height and I’m giving birth soon. In the next two weeks. This is my mind set and im about that the same weight gain and im totally hoping I can get back down to my previous weight plus some. This is definitely pumping me up for it. ❤
I Can’t Believe I’m Sharing This Story. : th-cam.com/video/S70Hh3vlLeo/w-d-xo.html
I recently lost my boyfriend to suicide--it happened on my birthday and at the time we weren't together as I had asked for some space. He had a lot of stress on his plate and was battling his own demons, but I still felt, and still feel, a lot of guilt. My therapist told me something though that has really helped. He said, "None of us has enough divinity within us to affect the actions and choices of others." I hope these words bring someone else comfort as well. If you've lost someone recently to suicide, please know, it is NOT. YOUR. FAULT. Sending you love and hugs 💞
I am so sorry!
My heart goes out to you. Your absolutely right, it is not your fault
Family are the HARDEST people to say no to. Especially if you’re close with them. I’m so proud of you for saying no, even though it was hard. Some people might not see it as a big deal- but as a fellow serial people pleaser, this is something that keeps us up at night lol. Thank you for sharing that tip ❤
So true. It really does occupy more space in my mind than I should let it 😅
I learned the source for my empathy, unstable identity, people pleasing, picking bad boyfriends, is due to my father who is a narcissist. Even though I though I had a great childhood I’ve learned now as an adult that there has been no rhyme or reason to his words my whole life because he had no emotion just a need to continually make himself the center of attention and put down everyone around him! I’m so angry but happy to have found reasons about myself and my personality that were ingrained into me since birth, but a lot of it’s because my dad has been unknowingly raising me with abuse. My prayers with everyone else struggling with any difficulties, illness, trauma and stress in your life!
My mother was like that.
I always love seeing you Carli! I’m a therapist and love that you change the stigma of mental health & share your story. I included a communication skill below❤️
Something that I learned that is helpful is using ‘i feel’ statements to express myself especially with family members or in a relationship. It helps reduce negativity and blame.
Ex: instead of saying you upset me because you do things last minute etc.
you can say ‘I feel’ upset because it was last minute and I felt anxious etc.
Words matter as well, this creates a different tone and helps the person understand you more as well!
Been watching you for yearssss carli sending you love and happiness xoxo❤️
I think this is really helpful information and I am going to try my best to use this towards my daily life. ❤
What a great tip! Will try it out also! Thanks! ❤
This was so helpful. Thank you so much Day.
What if you’ve used this method before and the person says “well you shouldn’t feel that way” and the person still doesn’t understand you. speaking from personal experience. What then?
You’re the only TH-camr I’ve consistently watched since the beginning! I love how pure, real and relatable you are ❤️ I had a baby 5 months ago and am not with the father anymore and seeing you grow and heal has helped me see the “light at the end of the tunnel” Thank you for sharing as much as you do 🫶🏼
I'm on the same boat, thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
Setting boundaries, practicing self care and taking time for myself have been the most important tools that I’ve taken away from therapy. Therapy is an integral part of my life and I love it!
One thing my therapist taught me that has always stuck with me. Is to stop forcing yourself to be around people who aren't around for you. And it's been very eye opening how you can go day to day life and people you think really care about you don't even reach out.... or aren't around.
You are one of a few YT that I follow who’ve stayed down to earth and keep it honest. You’re such a beautiful soul! ♥️
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I used to be so fixated on high PH waters. Over the last year researching I realized it’s just highly processed tap water with minerals added back after it was stripped. I never drink any purified water anymore and stick only to spring water which is real water that’s never been treated. Spring also comes in a variety of PH balances if that’s important to you! Just some food for thought! Longtime fan :)
Carli , you taught me so much over the years ! Like cutting my own hair , and doing my eyebrows . I have loved you from the very beginning and related to you so much! We are so similar and we’re both Libras . This video you talked about balance and always being a yes person even when you want to say no! That is totally me as well, and yet another Libra trait (being a people pleaser) ! As Libras we are just natural charmers and we always need to please! Im going to use the advice your therapist gave you everytime I land myself in a situation that I want to say no to lol. I’m so excited for you to make more videos !! I’ve missed you 🎉
It’s really amazing how true you’ve stayed all these years to your channel. I love it & look forward to your videos!! ❤. So many OG TH-camrs have just kinda abandoned their channels or rarely post ….. you still put up great content… GRWM, story time, vlogs- all of it & I love it!! Also former (born & raised) Jersey girl here!! Much love from (now) NC!! Xoxo
Carli, I genuinely appreciate you being open and honest! I’ve always had respect for you as a person, but hearing how open and canny you were, felt so great! It just validates the fact that no matter how big of an influencer is, they’re human too going through real life obstacles like I am. You’re beautiful inside and out and thank you ☺️
It’s been helpful for me this week to learn about intrinsic validation vs. extrinsic. As a former people pleasing perfectionist, violent abuse / r word victim, C-PTSD person. Finding VALUE in self validating and befriending your internal voice is so …. Nice. It’s coming back to yourself
YES! Self validation is truly the key to a free, fulfilled spirit. Absolutely easier said than done, I wish you nothing but luck and happiness on your healing journey. When in doubt, know that you have a friend walking longside of you on the other side of the earth.
Girl you are a warrior. Keep listening to your gut
@@g.s.632 Wow thank you
@@linn4thewin Oh my God, thank you
we loveeeee honest and open Carli! I know it’s way easier said than done but we all love you for who you are!!! xx ❤️
Love the therapy advice 🥹 people pleasing is a difficult “habit” to break.
Hope you know that you are loved ❤️❤️
What makes me happiest about watching you is that you haven’t changed at all! So many other TH-camrs that I’ve watched for years are so different now that they have money and success and I just want to say thank you for being real ♥️
Carli(!) this is legit my FAVORITE video you’ve ever done!!! I loved how authentic and open and vulnerable the conversation was. Much love from Utah 💙🐧
Something a therapist taught me is that people pleasing is like abandoning yourself bc it’s like you’d rather abandon yourself then upset the person. When I thought about that, I realized there’s no one worth abandoning myself for ☺️
My therapist told me that every blow to the ego is a gift to the soul. The more you humble and allow yourself to be vulnerable, it feels so good to the soul.
It's so lovely when you mention Nicole. l love you both and it's no surprise that you two have such a great bond. You are both such gentle and positive souls!❤❤
Just want to comment and say I took the first step to getting help with anxiety the other day and after talking with the Dr without even doing any treatment yet I felt so much better! So if anyone ever needs help do not be embarrassed so many people need help and you can’t throw a rock and hit someone who doesn’t get it so you are not alone 😃 btw I love you Carly ❤
Yes! There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing medication, therapy or a combination of the two! A happy mama is a happy family. I’ve always was so “anti medicine” (for me) but sometimes we need to utilize the amazing medical interventions available to us today. Keep going mamas! ❤
I’m In therapy now, and I learned to read the room recognize the good and bad things in a situation and make a decision based on what’s best for me. I find myself idealizing a situation when sometimes it’s not the best thing.
I would love to see a video from you and Nicole together. Maybe topics like what what you’ve learned in life, "mistakes" you needed to make, career path, relationships or just about friendships in general.
I love that you shared that piece of advice about pleasing people cause sometimes it's hard to tell people no especially the people that you love most, you almost feel obligated. I'm definitely going to try that out. 💜
Great advice on the saying “no” when you really don’t want to do something for others. I’m going to start trying it because I always say yes to everyone as well to try to please everyone but myself. 😌
You’re one of the first people I ever found on TH-cam and became obsessed with and 10 years later I still am. You’re so kind and knowledgeable and I love your personality.
Thank you for making your videos. This really helped me.
As someone who struggles with communication with my SO, I brought that up in therapy and learned someone really valuable about myself. When I tend to cut off my boyfriend and not let him complete his thoughts, I am acting in anxiety. When I do this I am anxious and I had to learn the root as to why I was anxious. All so eye opening and has really helped me correct my anxious behaviors for the better! 😊
I have been struggling to lose my baby weight. But hearing your advice and your story has inspired me to try to be more consistent
I gained over 20 kilos since I had my first child 6 years ago, I have 3 children now and I have to get back to myself. Thanks for the inspiration ❤ been watching you since you’ve started and I am truly grateful for your realness
I love what your therapist taught you deal with a situation when you want to say no but you say yes. I have learned if your heart isn't really into something and you feel guilty and say yes. it's better to feel guilty then resentment, that's helped me when I'm just unsure. Sometimes we say yes but later you just miserable and unhappy. Love you Carli I hope to meet you one day, I just can feel your genuine energy through a screen 💕
Best advice I got from my therapist: as the person you're talking to to rephrase what you just told them in their own words, cause sometimes people just have different definitions of the same word and it can create the most horrible of misscommunications and lead to both parties being upset over the most mundane of things. Seriously life-changing try it anyone who reads this comment.
For anyone who reads this: you are beautiful and I wish you to have a lovely day. ❤️
I've been in therapy too and it's so refreshing talking to someone out the family and friends, who can respond you whit what you need to hear and not what you want to here, as you were saying! After all the process, now I feel myself more, I know me more, what I want, what I need and beening a "people pleaser" like you made me struggle but now I know how to handle it, even if it's hard sometimes. Thank you for sharing whit us, it's really inspiring! Love you always 💖
I agree once you stop thinking about losing weight 24/7 and more on how you feel, hunger cues ect it just comes off on it’s own. I recently stopped weighing myself too and I feel so free
I love what you said about not thinking you're on a diet. I learned that this spring and I have lost around 30 pounds so far. I am very heavy, and I have a long way to go. I was walking twice a day. Now it's only once a day weather providing. I live in central Massachusetts, and we are getting the remnants of a hurricane this weekend. I also agree with therapy. I was sexually abused by a family member when I was very young. Talking to someone that knows what to tell you is very important. Lastly, you look stunning in this video.
thank you for sharing your story!!!! i had a similar experience my son is 18 months. i also completely believe in mindset i didnt start working out until 3 months postpartum, i bought all new clothes so i could love my new body at my heaviest. i breastfed & formula fed but was never hungry i had to force myself to eat. i had preeclampsia during birth so now im more likely to have high bloodpressure, strokes and heart attacks when i am older. it was a big reality check on my health. so i decided to become healthy, stop eating takeout all the time, go on lots of walks and give myself me time by working out and now down 13 lbs pre pregancy & never felt better. its not about losing weight its about being the best version of yourself for yourself & your baby.
Love you, Carli!! Great tips and advice ❤️
Also I’d reconsider the non-reusable plastic water bottle usage. Creating plastic bottles releases tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and a ton of waste since not all are recycled. Most wind up in landfills even if you try to recycle them.
I love watching your videos. In therapy I've learned that I'm a survivor, not a victim. I struggle with not saying no and wanting to please people. its really hard. thank you for being transparent about therapy. I statements are great too
Aside from the great results, I love your commitment to late 2000s intros with the quotes and sparkles. So nostalgic and lovely.
Carli you’ve always been super inspirational I first started working out/ plant based eating a few years ago. I fell off my routine during the pandemic but I’m getting back into it. Therapy has definitely changed the game. Took 4 therapists to get to a good fit but I feel more confident in accepting myself and those around me.
Thank you for loving TH-cam. We love you! it's great to have the true ogs, like you, stick to it instead of leaving to go to other platforms!!
I resonate with you so much Carly! Single mama to a 16 month old! Therapy has been a game changer for me this past year as well! ❤❤
You can talk about anything in prayer sis, Almighty God cares about us and wants us to talk to him and for us to hear him from too!
There’s also prophetic symbolism, miracles signs and wonders, I’m glad you’re healing!
It’s important to grow.
Much love! 💞✨🔥🦋
Hi Carli, I’ve been a fan and watched every video since I was in high school, and now I have my own career as a professional therapist so this was awesome to hear from you. So glad you’ve found that therapy was helpful for you, sending love ❤
Your mindset on food & balance is the wagon I've been on after having my 2nd baby. I also try to workout 3x a week on a good week I do 4x a week. Sometimes I just don't feel like it so I don't push myself to go but other days I have too because I have to find the balance of remaining active; moving. Other time I don't have 45 min to exercise but if I can squeeze in 35 min I'll do something. Focusing on areas that I want to improve. I live much happier than following a strict diet plan or workout. So happy you posted this. Thank you.
Thank you for being so transparent !! Makes me feel a lot better about my pregnancies 🙈🥰🥰
In therapy a few years ago I learned that any time I’m feeling overwhelmed with any type of negative/uncomfortable emotion a quick & dramatic change of body temperature can be soo helpful! Usually (when I’m dealing w something difficult) I’ll pause to consider my climate/body temp. If I realize I’m burning up I’ll take off my sweatshirt or splash cold water on my skin. Or if I realize I’m freezing I’ll drink hot tea and/or grab some blankets.
This sense of instant relief (from the temp change) makes whatever I was stressing about in the first place suddenly seem manageable.
Unfortunately this isn’t going to solve any deep rooted situations you’re dealing with instantly but it is such a healthy coping skill. Wild how something so simple can make such a significant positive impact on my life!
Typical Libra … keep the peace 😊
You’re beautiful inside and out Carli 💜 xx
Therapy has changed my thought process; I'm also a people pleaser and self-love always gets put on the back burner. I've decided to be "selfish" for a while to get back to being happy! Do what makes you happy!
Love how honest you are Carli 💕 and I’ve really enjoyed watching you grow I’m a new mommy and can relate to you so much thanks for always being motivating and so kind hearted 💕
Love you Carli! Been watching you for soooo long, you’ve never changed always been this amazing woman ❤️ you have evolved from being at home with your mom doing your makeup and ootd to this amazing mom and speaking about real life topics such as therapy and mom life in addition to makeup and beauty ! I just love it, my life has also evolved so it’s been amazing to log onto my TH-cam and to still relate to you and your videos. God bless you and baby renz ❤
Such great focus and honesty! Totally agree about the 'how you look' over what the 'scale' dictates! ✨✨
It also helps if you have always worked out before, during after having a baby and eating healthy. But for people that went through ppd or ppa that is not the case. You eat because if gives you comfort and it’s something you can control in your life when other things are out of your control. Either way Carli I mean you have always looked fabulous❤
thank you so much for your honesty about the podcast, i am such a people pleaser too and end up getting mad at myself afterwards, something i'm working on
Love your videos! I'm a people pleaser myself and slowly getting out of it. I've said yes to things that I've wanted to say no to simply because I don't want to upset anyone BUT I'm letting myself down and that is not acceptable! Keep the lovely videos coming! We love you Carli!❤
UGH love you so much its sickening!!! kidding, but seriously.. have been watching you since i was in college in like 2011 and despite neither of us (I think) being in therapy then, I swear you just always brightened my day and made it better and now (we're both in therapy, yay for us!!) and thriving and you still brighten my day
Usually don't comment but I had too now. Absolutely loved this episode. Your truth you genuine kindness and love was felt. I can relate to all of the topics you touched on. The weight loss especially after pregnancy can become stressful. The issue with not saying no and people pleasing I related too as well. Just wanna say I'm so happy that young people have a beautiful role model like you inside and out. That they don't have to feel these pressures and realize they are fine and beautiful where they are now. I'm glad you are doing therapy and doing the work that most wont.💖love and light Carli💖
PLEEEEEEASEEEE BRING YOUR PALETTE BACK!!! I know what you said about BH but please find another way 😭 my palette broke during a move but it was my all time favorite. The highlighters and shadows are really unmatched. The only palette I ever needed!
That’s crazy because I was literally scrolling through your IG yesterday looking at how amazing your body is !! Especially considering having a baby
I’m so proud of you to refuse something you don’t feel to do and even share with us, just want u to know when it’s true it will never hurt, we feel you girl and we know it’s a big step to share since you don’t want any drama in your real +intent life, hug
My first video I ever saw of you was the Megan fox tutorial. And I remember being ADDICTED! I went through like 2 whole boyfriends (of mine)during my time watching you over the years. And A lot of personal advice I took was from you over the years. I also attempted cutting my hair in ultrasound school and using brow bars to go with you! Learned about makeup brushes and licking the tip to put more pigmented color on and transitioning into the eye drops and setting spray. 😂❤ You are my first TH-camr. The one that got me started on this app .
It’s been great growing with you, and learning with you. And celebrating and hurting and being happy with you. ❤
So proud of you Carli. You’re an amazing mom !! I still got some baby weight and I’m still not happy with how I look. 🥺😩
Happy for you and appreciate you sharing your experience with therapy. From a people pleaser , I know how hard that is to do. Something that has helped me is starting small . Don't try to set boundaries and make big changes that is too overwhelming to start. You gotta start small. Like at Starbucks if they mess up your order, say you normally don't ask for them to fix it to avoid confrontation. You start there for ex. Small achievable goals :) still working on this .
I love your videos so much and I'm so proud of how far you have come. I'm glad you aren't doing the podcast, I myself dont listen to them either. It's good to always put yourself first. You're really busy and are doing a lot right now with Lorenzo and all the fur babies
Basically if you are a mom who doesn’t have the financially power to have a personal trainer, an organizer (or person to help u with ur schedule) and different types of beauty procedures, don’t put stress and pressure on yourself to look exactly like before or Even better than before. Cause is not normal or natural.
Patience and self love❤
I never ever diet for the simple reason the second I'm told I can't have something I automatically want it more than anything. Instead I will try to make healthier choices but if I want something that's considered "bad/unhealthy" I just control how much I eat of it. I find I eat a lot less and healthier if I don't restrict myself.
Seriously love how real you are!!🫶🏽 love all your collabs btw I’m waiting for you to come out with more or bring back the old ones 😭🥰
Thank you Carli for sharing something so real. I needed to hear that it’s ok to want to be your own person and do what I love to do in life instead of thinking in my messy mind that I will be a disappointment in others eyes.. I will use what you just shared. I am going through the same situation but with my husband.. I love you and thank you for being such an inspiration #aspiretoinspire ❤
Love you! And loving you are coming back to YT more regularly, still as always take your time, we’ll be here ❤️
I went through couple therapy and it was such a great learning experience for us both! We come from 2 different religious backgrounds and it sometimes can be hard at times as weird as that sounds because we are so different but hearing how to work with one another and talk better/communicate was interesting to learn!
I totally agree about mindset. Stressing about weight and diet and having negative self-image makes it harder to be healthy and naturally slimmer.
Wow, this video made me feel so much better. I’m currently pregnant and have struggled with body dysmorphia for as long as I can remember. This give me hope for getting back to me after I give birth. Thank you Carli ❤
I really miss your BH cosmetic palettes. Glad you’re doing well ands yes I’m in therapy as well and it’s been extremely helpful.
I love Carli and have been a long time follower of hers. But please know to not compare yourself, she’s naturally thin and has a fast metabolism and has the resources to do the extra stuff to look the way she does. Just know to love your body and just love a healthy active lifestyle 💜
Carli I’d love to see a short video on your personal preferences on body sprays or perfumes 💕💕💕💕 I’m super curious to know what kind of fragrance your into !🤔👌💕💕💕
Thank you Carli for sharing parts how therapy has helped you ❤️❤️ One of the main thing in which therapy and self reflection has helped me was that I create my life the way it is and how I create them, in the past I felt a bit like a victim to whatever happened to me wasn't dependent on me only, even if I did my best others could still change my own reality, and the biggest thing to realize was that no one can change your reality, except you, and that was very liberating 🌟 even though I realized that it was all my doing, what I didn't like about my life (also what I liked too🥰), it was immensely liberating to feel that knowledge, that we are directing out own lives ❤️
Love the comments about mindset, I totally believe that that is the biggest part of it as well!!!
I'm a people pleaser too. And I do way more for other people than myself and I don't know who I am and I care what people think about me. My therapist was a little blunt about that. My in-laws were never really nice to me, and my hubby would always stick up for me and he even cut them off when they went too far. But families fight so, I always encouraged him to make up with them. And I would go with him, halfway across the country to visit. My therapist says they abused me enough and I just keep going back for more. I thought of it more as, I'm supporting my husband and offering the same courtesy I would expect out of him, like if I got mad at my family, I would want him to be able to forgive them too. But I guess I'm supposed to cut them off and just stay away. It still doesn't make sense to me, but that's what my therapist says. I'm doing a phone session tomorrow since I went on a work trip with my husband.
Two things that I remind myself constantly is “what I can control.. my words, actions etc” another is to be present (count my blessings) and to stop waiting for the future (do things now 😊 love ya Carli! Therapy is amazing ❤
You know I have been so stressed because I have gained so much weight over the past 4 years due to me being in nurse prac school. I graduate next month so I told myself I have to focus on myself since school will be done. I really like your way of seeing weight lose and being healthy. I am very overweight so need all the help I can get lol. But seriously I need to stop seeing it as a diet but just doing what makes me feel good inside and healthy. The therapy part I really have been wanting to do that. Anyways I love you and all you do! I hope you have a wonderful day Carli! Been here since you started 11 years ago! ❤💜
I have watched your channel for so long and you bring calmness to my life. If I’m feeling down you make me feel better❤️ Thank you for that
Carli, I’m so glad you’re in therapy it totally helps❤
I’ve been in therapy for 13 years now ever since I left my abusive marriage, it’s help me find myself again and gave me strength to move on and deal with my 5 sons who also were abused, they still can be challenging but I’m a lot stronger to tell them how it is and not let them bully me around. 2 of my sons moved in with me and my current hubby and I btw I married my best friend ❤ anyway my therapist asked me just yesterday what do I want from my boys and I said “all I want is for them to follow my f@$&”n rules” she almost fell off her chair laughing lol
She’s seen me grow in the years!!
Anyway Hun stick with therapy, you’re an amazing young lady, your baby is the cutest ❤
Stay strong Love you girl❤
i need a new Carli palette. Please bring it back . Love the honesty today..
So happy to be early 🫶🏾💗 GRWMs are some of my fav videos of yours (next to mukbangs & vlogs hehe) 💞 Love you, have a great weekend!! 🤍 Editing to add: thank you for the honesty + advice towards the end of the video, that was really refreshing. It’s so good that you’re putting yourself first. Bless you Carli 💕
As a therapist it’s always refreshing to hear big TH-cam people normalize seeking mental health services. We all deserve a healthier community and version of ourselves
Thank you so much for sharing what you took away from your therapy session with us, it was really helpful to hear ❤
ILY ❤️ So glad you uploaded again
I love how transparent you are!
I have noticed since beginning therapy that I’m too self critical, that I need to give myself more credit and I people please a lot as well. I totally understand when you talk about keeping others happy. Unfortunately at this time, I have to look for a new therapist 😅
YOU GOT THIS! I'm proud of you taking control of your wellbeing and setting boundaries!! The more you do it the less people in your life is getting access to your energy. Therapy is the best thing that I ever did for myself. To learn strategies such as how to problem solv is sooooo good so here's the short version:
1) Identify problem,
2) Brainstorm solutions without judgement
3)Assessment of proposed solution (postitiv vs negative)
4) Compare and choose a solution (the goal here is to just start to try something)
5) Try the solution out (Make a plan of how to execute your solution and be specific with What, When and Where)
6)Evaluate your result and if a new problem occur than do a new problem solving step 1-5 :)
Interpretation vs facts (which can cause HUGE misunderstanding). Take a moment and really think about if what you're thinking is FACTS or is it your interpretation? ASK questions to be sure :)
I love you and I've been here since 2015 so I'm OG Carli fan! What an absolutely beautiful soul you are. Keep going darling, you got this! Love from Linny
Carli you look snaaaaattccchedddd!!!! The most beautiful part of you is the respect you have for your son. We don’t realize that subconscious children are protective over their mothers, and putting them in an awkward position ( by wearing overtly sexy or being overtly sexy to cause “unwanted” attention) . God Bless Lorenzo and you❤❤
One thing my therapist taught me and really change things for me is “when someone shows you who they are, believe it.” This has helped me in so many ways. It has really changed ever having an unrealistic expectation on people that will never be anything but who they are whether that be good or bad. Love from another woman taking it one day a time too🫶🏼
I have learned that feeling guilty is a waste of an emotion. It replaces a deeper issue. So when I start feeling that guilt…….I ask myself why do I feel that way and is it really guilt or something else. 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻
I love you so much Carli!In the past I was a people pleaser and have this unrealistic want for everyone to like me.I have been actively working on it.I think it truly is a Libra trait something we have in common including the fact that I'm a MUA esthetician,astrology space science are my passion,and love to travel & continually learn.Your makeup is stunning.I adore this neon orange 🍊 It's giving gorge🧡Please give us some more content soon📙
I’m having a behavior therapist session tomorrow & she had recommended chatting with a psychiatrist. I declined because I am terrified. Should I just do it? Im just not happy in my life right now….
Girl, you look stunning! Love you, Carli and thanks for sharing your story with us! 💖
Do you know how when you’re younger and you just listen to music for the beat but when you’re older you understand the lyrics? well now that I’m in my 30 Ashanti song foolish lyric hit home today, she said:
“Ooh, I trusted you, I trusted you
So sad, so sad what love will make you do
All the things that we accept
Be the things that we regret…”
One thing I learnt from my Therpaist whenever I get upset about relationships not working out is, if I where a cake on my own with frosting, such pretty decorations and the other person was the cherry on the cake. Without them, I am still a beautiful cake with frosting, glitter and gorgeous decorations. It’s nice to have the cherry (the other person) on my cake but without the cherry is the cake still there? Yes. Is the cake still absolutely beautiful? Yes so the cherry isn’t a must. My cake won’t fall apart and crumbed without them xx
I have learned, in losing both my parents - how hard that is, I have grief come in waves out of nowhere, even after I think I have a handle on it. I get exhausted again - and have days I don’t want to get out of bed.
What I am learning, is to not be mad at myself for this. Healing is not success like a job. Give ourselves a break .
I’m around your height and I’m giving birth soon. In the next two weeks. This is my mind set and im about that the same weight gain and im totally hoping I can get back down to my previous weight plus some. This is definitely pumping me up for it. ❤
Love your videos so glad you are working on your way back. Love your tutorials. Wishing you the best in the future.