You kept referring to these girls as "Christians". I think a more appropriate term would be "Religious extremists". Most Christian would denounce them as extremist like most Muslims would denounce the Taliban.
Something that really bothers me about Girl Difined's hatred of drag queens is the fact that they view larger breast and butts as inherently hypersexual. Most of the time I see queens who have the same portions as women I know. It's wild to me that Girl Defined can be so focused on being homophobic that they can't see how their rhetoric feeds into the opression of women or they don't care about that either.
I think they're pretty comfortable with the larger oppression of women, honestly... I've been looking at evangelical protestant sects generally, and whenever a scandal involving sexual abuse or degrading women comes up, the subtext I hear from the apologies by church leaders boil down to a subtextual, "well, I mean the victims were _women_ ..." I truly feel like a lot of people, especially people who were sexist before they 'got saved' or who internalized a lot of purity culture, have an uninterrogated conviction that basically boils down to the old chestnut that "men are people and women are _women_. " In the 20th century between the wars mystery writer Dorothy Sayers wrote a pamphlet aimed partly at the church titled "Are Women Human?" Girl Definided's concept of 'God's radical design for women,' from what I've seen, is founded in an unconscious conviction that women are not human, ie, they're _women_ and by that logic oppressing them is essentially justified and even warranted... I'm sorry for the essay, I've been thinking about this topic for weeks, and I feel like your comment sort of set up my thoughts about this... I feel like a lot of religious commentators are either missing this insight, or deliberately avoiding it because it gets people defensive... but not going there seems to me to be ignoring a significant part of the work that needs doing if we want to end sexual discrimination and gender violence in the church.
Femme presenting person of color here: oh my god. Their thinly veiled racial and misogynistic microagressions were laughably obvious. I just kept saying “wooow”. People thinking a drag queen is inherently hypersexual are just revealing that they think women as a whole and anyone that presents with “feminine” characteristics are sexual objects first and humans second, if that.
The British pantomime tradition has a drag 'dame' character, oversized body features are part of the humour, think arms crossed under bust to lift up some times very much not glamour drag! . The 'principal boy' character is played by a woman, and often gets to marry the Princess.
They must be seeing different videos that the people who watch Mickey’s channel. I like her channel, I am gay, I am ultra progressive (by American standards), but I can’t sign off on a child being present while a drag Queen tells sex stories (whether or not you are familiar with this video will help you see how much drag content is hidden from you/the liberal audience. The only reason I know is because I also watch a conservative source (which I disagree with), and they showed multiple videos clear as day with kids and parents all sitting around listening to a Queen tell about how she had sex with a guy, using vulgar terminology. This is just my personal opinion, but I feel like a foreign adversary is purposely trying to create separate realities via our social media feeds and pit Americans against each other).
Your response to them saying "god has a better plan for you" was "no, you don't" and I think that just clarified something for me: They are not taking about "god's plan" they are talking about upholding norms that are harmful and have been harmful for a very long time. It's not god's plan, it's christian supremicists'
Also God seems to always agree with those who interpret scripture THEIR way. Which is why nobody can seem to agree with which interpretation is the correct one... It's almost if all of this stuff in the bible is just speculative guessing by anyone who's reading it ....
@@URFTBOUND4LIFE Someone who I know who is religious once said this: "The problem with something like scripture is that everyone interprets it differently. The most problematic thing with that happens when people become selective in what they believe they and others should follow, instead of allowing flexibility in interpretation. Unfortunately most people are not very self-critical in reflecting on their own approach of what they believe is right compared to someone else's." (This was the same person who at the end of a conversation made a remark about me being trans: "You know, I think God would be more than happy to see that at least one person is happy in this world, there's already so much awful things happening!" which I thought was a really nice way of putting it, even though she actively stated that God doesn't make mistakes, "but is clearly absent when he comes up with stuff like leukemia, I mean like...why? What have children done wrong!?")
This is exactly it. When my mom judges people for not following “Gods plan” or implies someone deserves suffering because they’re not following “Gods Will” I’m immediately like “no. They’re not following YOUR plan, or the Catholic Church’s plan.” Same thing with the Bible. The Bible was written by men. Not God.
why is it so hard for people to admit that they don't know what they're talking about? the lack of knowledge that these two know about drag history is embarrassing
They literally admit towards the end of their video that they're confused with the entire "self-reflection is complex and intimidating, just look to the Bible" outburst. They literally admit that identity is more complex but just completely discard that detail because it doesn't fit their reductionist views on self-expression.
As someone who was raised in this way of thinking (I’ve since deconstructed), you are taught to believe that the Bible is god’s word. Since you’ve read it, you immediately are right and everyone else has it deadly wrong. That’s what’s so dangerous about being kid raised in fundamentalism. It is absolutely incredibly embarrassing to act like they do! Looking back and seeing how close I got to behaving this way really makes me thankful I got out. Pitching a fit like they have on a subject they don’t know anything about is sadly much of what happens on Sundays (and Wednesdays…and every other day that ends in a Y) in communities like theirs. It really feels like you gain a “secret knowledge” that the rest of the world has yet to hear about and will die without. Gives you a huge head for sure. Like the other people said, it is pride.
they are extreme fundamentalist they only know how to hate certain groups and they are right and they don't hate us honestly it's just tough love or truth in love which is why this queer left fundamentalism years ago and also i saw how they twisted the Bible or tried to make it fit their views KNOWING the context and KNOWING what they were doing
I went to Pride with one of my drag queen friends. I helped him with makeup and getting him into clothes. There was a girl there with her mom that we ran into while we were walking around, and my friend was in a beautiful dress. The little girl got so excited because "I finally got to see a princess!" And I thought that was the sweetest thing ever. Kids are generally more open-minded and okay with things. Edited for grammar.
I remember a little girl seeing me walking to a show in costume and she thought I was Draculaura from Monster High in real life… I could just see the joy on her face and it was VERY clear she didn’t think anything else of it, she was just so excited to see someone who looked like a doll or cartoon in real life. Kids don’t read into these weird subtexts that bigoted adults see and they’re most DEFINITELY not being indoctrinated into some weird “demonic drag sex cult” (or whatever tf bigots are on about), they just want to see people in big dresses and glitter!
As if Bethy "I'm proud I never went to college or worked a real job in my entire life" Beal would know Jack shit about what does and doesn't help people's depression.
This coming from the culture that has to endlessly spew out coping strategies because of the openly-admitted trauma it causes to its followers. Pot, meet kettle.
Meanwhile Hooters has a children's menu and is considered a "family friendly" restaurant. I would say that's a more hyper sexual environment to take a child to..
these people pretending to be scared of gay people existing around children as if gay people have not for decades given homes to and raised the children that straight people neglected abandoned and gave up lol
Our small town theater often has people play opposite gender. My daughter played Linus in You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. There were too many girls for the parts in the show. She was an adorable Linus.
Few useful information: The "It's not gonna lick itself" was at another show, not the one for children.. and it was at an ice cream restaurant. Non of the outfits the performers wore, would be considered inappropriate on a cis woman. ( I mention cis, because I am pretty sure they would say it about trans women too. You can find information and see pictures from that event on the internet.
If your kid is old enough to understand that double entendre, they are old enough to enjoy the joke. If they aren't able to understand, they think it's a bad joke about ice cream.
Jesus Christ. Nice to know about that being at an ice cream shop! I see all these assholes talking about how all drag is bad because of that sign. Now I know the context and I feel like they’re even more idiotic than I already thought they were.
@@rachelk4805 yes. This. Kids are gonna get jokes or they won't . My mom was offended I knew what a joke with the word Horny meant when I was... at least 15, I think? D: I was pretty exasperated by her expectations
I’m glad it wasn’t at a nightclub. No matter if a show is family friendly or not I just have a Thing™️ about anyone under 21 being in a nightclub for any reason, but that’s just me
Even then, I’ve heard worse double entendres in PG-rated cartoons and movies. The only reason they saw a problem with that sign at ALL was because drag queens were in the same room.
As a queer woman you're videos really help me when I have to be around my VERY Christian family, and have to remember I am valid. You're the best Mickey!
Same!! Mickey, you have been invaluable in the acceptance of my queer identity and faith deconstruction as a college student🤍 keep doing what you’re doing queen!!
You guys are so very valid! My sister was fostering a trans teen, incidents happened with a spouse so they took him away and put him back with his Mormon adopted mother who abandoned him in the system when she realized that adopting a child with trauma isn't always easy, before my sister he was being fostered by a family who was terrible and collected Nazi memorabilia. So he ran away from his adopted moms, my sis knows where he is though and he is safe and instead of sending him back to his crappy adoptive parent she has just kept tabs and made sure he is safe, has what he needs, and she even spends most days with him. I got to meet him when I was home, fell in love instantly he is my family and he knows he can come to me if he needs anything too. She is his mom, she is the one who has been there, she is the one he turns to. I am glad he has her. The abandoner sent him a tent. Instead of inviting him home and being open and caring she sent a tent! I hate her. I love my nephew.
My mom was one of those people who hate all things queer. You know what happened when my teacher started grooming me and she found out? Let it keep happening.
I promise church is far more traumatizing than drag shows; now that they're concerned about consent in children, someone needs to tell them their kid shouldn't go to church until they are an adult.
I remember being like 7 years old and hearing a church story about women dyeing their skin with coffee to escape becoming sex slaves. I had nightmares for months. But yep, your kid seeing a family friendly drag queen is sexual abuse.
Funny thing. A drag show did a fund raiser for a church I attended (a United Church of Christ). Couldn't go because the place they used was not smoke free (didn't smoke for the event but doesn't matter to me).
The queer community really helped me. I have an intersex condition, so I guess I am part of the community, honestly idk. In church, I was made to feel very ashamed, and lesser because I can’t have kids. In overt and subtle ways, the way I was expected to pick up slack, in church, and with friends and family because I had no kids, or marriage. The way I was consistently “volun-told” into things like free babysitting, charity work, and more, it was so frustrating. Celebrating weddings and baby showers, buying gifts, grinning and bearing “when’s it going to be your turn?”. Taking the time to be a listening ear, and then barely getting a birthday text from those same people. The message was loud and clear “you are worth less until you have and husband and kids.” I was getting really burnt out and fed up. The homophobia in the church was the thread pull that unraveled Christianity for me. It seemed incongruous that loving God would punish love. I spent more time in queer spaces, and felt so supported. Never going back.
If you want to be part of the community then of course you are, you have a place and you belong. 💖Glad you were finally able to find a safe and supportive space to be your wonderful self.
If you feel part of the community, then you're welcome to be part of it. The I in the (extended) acronym stands for "intersex" (and for others who aren't sure, the A does NOT mean 'Ally', it means 'Asexual/Aromantic' - allies are appreciated but someone who is cisgender, heterosexual, endosex, allosexual and alloromantic is not part of the community). So yes, you are certainly involved if you feel it represents you and your experiences. I'm so sorry that you've had so much heteronormative BS pushed on you to the extent that it's made you feel lesser because of the bigots around you. As someone who is nonbinary but unable to have kids despite desperately wanting them my whole life because of medical issues that have left me infertile and too sick to effectively parent anyway at this point, even if I could get around it, I feel for you when it comes to the constant pressure and questions about when you're going to be having kids etc. It really sucks when you end up being the "black sheep" because of something you literally cannot help.
I found out about intersex people while I was still young and indoctrinated into fundamentalist Christianity. I was so happy because I thought that everyone else would see it how I did. I was very much a "tomboy" who couldn't fit into prescribed gender rolls if you liquidized my body and poured it into one, so I finally saw something that could explain why a perfect being would create me in a way everyone around me denounced. Long story short, I brought it up and said something along the lines of "Hey, I know we believed that God created only men and women with respective roles and there's no in between or blurred line, but God actually creates people who are in between so we must have interpreted something wrong. God didn't create only male and female and wouldn't want us to enforce strict and rigid divisions between us if he didn't create us all with these strict and rigid divisions. God made reality and reality is that something other than strictly male and female exists." and got absolutely berated and belittled for it. That was the first time it struck me that all the people around me who claimed to devoutly worship this perfect god, who supposedly created everything without error and with purpose, actually didn't believe in such a being at all and we're just using the name to give an aura of authority to whatever beliefs they had already decided upon themselves. It was the thing that sparked the realisation in me that "God" was just a tool they designed to perpetuate their own very imperfect biases; a weapon they forged to beat others into submitting to their unrealistic world views. I will forever be thankful to the intersex community for opening my eyes to that. Today, I am openly queer, unashamed, and unafraid of any supernatural sky daddy or threats of eternal suffering.
@@TheAwesomes2104 I am so glad that you were able to escape that environment. When even a child can spot the holes in things and instead of actually thinking about it, they just stamp down harder, it demonstrates exactly what you say. The Bible doesn't define the morality of whatever flavour of Christian a person is, the person and church cherry-pick from the bible to justify their beliefs and moral stances. It's impossible to follow the bible to the letter because of the contradictions.
Agree, wholeheartedly. My thoughts: 1) the whole "big butts, boobs and twerking argument" is anti-Black/POC 2) Some children don't (maybe even can't) consent to go to church or follow the religion they are born into 3) Hate and constantly evaluating who's in and who's out is EXHAUSTING. I remember obsessively googling things I was "allowed" to read, watch, listen to etc. It takes up so much mental energy instead of just letting things be. But that's part of the control of the religion, of course.
Children having needs & experiences you don’t understand is NOT abuse. Judgment & lack of authenticity could very much be considered exploitation however. Expression isn’t about s*x. These “girls” are exhausting. Control is NOT a protective factor either Bethy
I agree! But having them around vulgar neon signs, listening to queens tell uncensored sex stories, and people twerking doesn’t seem appropriate. I am fine with a child being around a drag Queen so long as the drag queen or environment doesn’t introduce kids to sexual content. I wonder if you know which videos I am talking about or if your algorithm hides them from you.
@@youtubeposter3814 I think I know the kinds of videos you are referring to. I don’t believe introducing sexual content is an issue at the kid friendly events. No one is in favor of abuse or exploitation of children especially not in a “systematic “way. Kids need to be protected. Seeing people happy & authentic is not hurtful. Seeing families that don’t look like yours, but still take Care of each other gives hope & reassurance for growing up
@@youtubeposter3814 Neuroscience shows that despite pervs existing? The vast majority of people are hardwired to protect young'ns. That goes for all genders & sexual identities. No one wants sweet babies around messed up crap. Except weirdos. & those who keep saying that drag & trangender humans are somehow also abusers tend to be regularly caught out as abusers themselves. Just like the uber anti‐gay politicians keep getting caught with same‐sex sex workers. I strongly believe its their self‐hatred & fears about themselves causing them to project. Remember ‐ Womem were once imprisoned for wearing pants. Less than a century ago.
@@yoyosworld2773 EW! Don't watch these shows, but somehow not surprised. I have seen "baby/toddler" t-shirts with these sorts of messages though. I'm sure to these two they are perfectly fine.
Can we PLEASE do drag shows at a museum? I know I would be endlessly more entertained if we could learn natural history from a dancing drag queen show. Like 100%, TAKE MY MONEY.
Drag shows *can be* very adult or "perverted" as they worded it. But those are the adult shows. There's *no way* that it's like that for the children's shows
Yes, exactly. Just like with other forms of entertainment, there's something for All age groups. It's like saying All movies are inapropiate because some of them have adult themes.
"Perverted" is also just such a creepy and stigmatizing way of referring to lighthearted displays of sexuality between adults 😖 It implies such a predatory and ominous atmosphere for something that's meant to be fun and entertaining and freeing, even outside of the fact that they're baselessly claiming that drag shows for kids are sexual when they are not and never have been
@@crazeekids9744 and there are two issues with it. One…those shows were not set up to be “kid friendly” and two…maybe instead of blaming the drag queens doing their shows at bars. Again I say bars, how about go after the parents. Didn’t know it was the norm to blame everyone other than the ones at fault. Oh what a minute we do…they are called republicans. My bad.
Now I want 2 versions of this video, one that’s constructive with actionable advice and one that’s just Mickey cussing GD out, no holds barred and no therapeutic advice. 😆
I think it’s a form of child abuse to force indoctrination of belief system that instills fear and helplessness into there psyche. Constantly striving for perfection, yet always being a disappointment. It’s exhausting.
For real. I remember thinking I was going to be punished by their god when puberty hit me full force and my hormones started raging, because of how they'd drilled in me that humans are inherently sinners and we're not "supposed" to have lustful feelings. Kids shouldn't have to lay awake being afraid of eternal torment.
@@lucienfortner841 People literally get married and can't bring themselves to have sex with their spouse even though it's "legal" now because they spent their whole life thinking it's a sin.
Religion can be so traumatic for children. I suffer from paranoia, especially in the form of being surveilled, the phobia that someone is constantly watching me. Wanna know what was drilled into me as a child? "God is always watching!". Maybe that's comforting for some people but to child me it was horrifying. I took their words as truth and never felt comfortable. No doubt it took a part in what I suffer with now. Thanks mom.
@@shut7353 Same, plus I had no privacy growing up. My mom found out I'm queer by searching my room, and having to deal with the fallout was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I'm pretty damn territorial now.
So, I'm visiting my family for Christmas and my nephew has recently discovered Blues Clues and is obsessed. During the Hanuka episode, the host has to draw a family, and so he says something like, "Now, every family looks different, but I'm going to draw it as two larger faces for parents and two smaller faces for kids". And my parent's son is just so aghast that he would even mention that 'families could be different' and 'that one of the larger faces didn't have hair'. He immediately went for a 'they're pushing gays on the kids!' because he, and other b!gots are soooo on edge for anything that doesn't immediately comply with his stupid worldview that literally the rest of the family fought back against him
Good grief. Yes families are different, he could be talking about grandparents raising grandkids or maybe they're fostering or adopted. I'm so sorry, I hope everyone gave him both barrels ❤️✌🏻
@@catborg780 Oh, absolutely. My mother shut that down. It was excessively easy, given that the nephew in question is an only child and he and his parents live with his grandparents. So his family would be four big faces and one small face, along with two tiny faces for the birds
at the end of the day, beneath all the rage and disgust, all i can really feel for these people is pity. because it's glaringly obvious how much they're projecting their own emptiness, loneliness, confusion, repression, etc. etc. etc. they're outwardly hateful because they're scared of ever having to consider what's inside of them. deep down they are just cowards. when they see strength they have to try and discredit it or they'd have to confront their own simpering weakness
It’s crazy to me how Bethy and Kristen shout that kids can’t consent to be brought a family friendly drag show. What if their kids said to them, “Mommy, I don’t want to go to church anymore or to Sunday school anymore.” I seriously doubt Kristen and Bethy would give them a consensual choice on that. There are so many things kids have to do that they get no freedom of choice on like school, but there is a reason for that (kids need an education.) So the fact that parents force their kids to go to church/synagogue whether they want to or not drives me crazy, even when liberal non-bigoted parents do it. This is something I’ve actually discussed with my own therapist 10 billion times. Lol
As a trans guy who grew up as a evangelical christian and has since deconstructed, drag used to make me feel really uncomfortable. I think a lot of that was probably internalised transphobia/homophobia, but I would still say it's not really my thing. Nonetheless, I occasionally end up having to defend it to some of my family despite the fact that I don't personally even really like it because I can recognise now that it isn't a bad thing, just something that I don't enjoy
@Rach I feel like the most accessible type of drag content right is RuPaul and that's not what drag is like out in the world. The costumes, the performances, the big personalities and the personal stories, yes, but the overhyped, drama-filled, fabricated conflicts? That's reality TV and that's what people are now associating with drag
Exactly, drag is simply a performance, whether they are dancing, singing, doing stand up, or playing a musical instrument, it’s a form of entertainment. And not all performances are for everyone. Like I don’t really care for stand-up comedy (regardless of who is doing it), because the jokes are typically too scripted for me to enjoy, but that doesn’t make stand-up comedy bad in my eyes. It’s just not for me. You don’t have to treat something like hell on earth just because you don’t enjoy it yourself.
I will never forget taking my (at the time) preschool age kids to the zoo, and the highlight (for my youngest) was when the elephant did a big poo. 😂 That's far more graphic than any drag story time.
I highly recommend the video "What is a Groomer?" by Caelan Conrad! They're a fantastic queer creator and that video gives SO much context to the history of the use of terms like "groomer" and "perverted" towards LGBTQ+ people. It's so important to be aware of, especially given the recent rise of this type of rhetoric towards our community.
Mx. Caelan themself does a really good job of making documentaries that are thorough, well-organised and more factual than most to some news sources (and huge kudos to them as well for using humor during some serious segments of their documentaries)
I went to a drag show when I was a teenager, it was hosted by my towns pride parade, outside, and free to watch. It was amazing, one drag queen did a shrek rotine another was dressed as a clown, it was overall a very fun and safe environment, but whenever a queen did a "explicit" routine, we were told how long, and how "bad" it was, and most people with small children went to get food during those routines. it made me feel so warm and understood. I still have the photos of me standing next to drag queens, and they're some of my favourite photos of myself. edit: the "explicit" routines were usually just bad words in songs, or mild suggestiveness, sure some drag shows are adult, but its not inherently an inappropriate thing.
I'm only 06:42 but it reminded me of something I read recently: there was a hubbub about ballet back in the day (like hundreds of years ago) and it was an art when male dancers did it in in the 1600/1700's, but once female dancers took over as the primary performers in the 1800's then the audience/fans that went were there for 'immoral' reasons- especially when skirts were shortened to show off the foot and legwork of the dancers as en pointe developed into more than just a stunt. Even in the early 1900s I think the advertisements were censored because the women were wearing flesh colored tights so they APPEARED to be bare legged. There is a photo where some dancers are posing with their tights on and legs raised and like, eye rolling or laughing or something. Even back then, performers were tired of their art being labeled as sExUaL just because it involved the appearance of women. Hopefully one day drag will have the respect ballet companies have.
Hayy. I’m a queer black male very effeminate presenting, and have gone through some things obviously with that considered, it warms my heart whenever I hear you defend the community with the passion you have. So many of us go through terrible things if not life ending/destroying things even when young, at the hands of people so misinformed who have vicious hate in their heart. While there is freedom of speech I think in the age of social media and likely internet as a whole, all with possibly an infinite presence, whenever these ignorant ideas become vocalized and engrained on TH-cam they exist forever as is with anything put up online in some way shape or form. That being said I think emphasis should be put on the terms of services about hate speech because these outrageous videos with this lasting presence, WILL reverberate forever and WILL influence peoples actions and assist in chain reactions of affirmation for peoples hatred. Remaining in minds of people who along with other affirmations contribute to something such as Colorado, yup. Though extreme, I think there should be laws against blatant hatred toward any marginalized community PERIOD, for the sake of human life. Thank you again. Love you Mickey and that hair is very pretty (it always is but you know)👍🏽💕🏳️🌈
The biggest problem I have with religion is that the followers are taught that they're responsible for other people's behavior and/or salvation. That's why they act so enraged, they want to control you so they are righteous and allowed into heaven 🙄
@@nervousbreakdown711 Yes you're right. My Muslim in-laws are very preachy about their beliefs but don't act like my choices effect their own relationship with God.
hahaha i actually love how she references going to the zoo as an appropriate place to bring children, for me the zoo was the most traumatic place i ever went as a child besides marine land. Seeing all these animals trapped in these cages and tanks disturbed me for life. I saw a tiger just pacing because it had gone stir crazy. My heart was never the same.
Oh no! What zoo was that? I remember going to the Bronx Zoo with my parents, it was incredible, amazing! Its more like an animal sanctuary. It was very large with a lot of space, we took a cable car that went over the habitat. The animals seemed really unbothered by the people.
When I took my kids to the zoo the turtles were loudly sexing it up (I didn't know turtles could be that loud). Guess we have to avoid all turtles forever now. 🤷
So this is what I imagine “God tells you who are” works irl Bethy: I like crop tops and yoga pants God: no, you like overalls Bethy for the rest of her life: insists she LOVES overalls
Not related to the video, but I just wanted to thank you. I've been watching your content for a few months now, and eventually you've made me believe that therapy isn't that bad and I even started wanting to try it. And just a few weeks ago, I've found myself a therapist. I even got lucky enough because she's amazing, and I honestly can't wait to work more with her and heal. So yeah, thank you for the work you're doing on this channel ❣️
I love that you differentiate between fundamentalist christianity and other christians. I would add that these views are also very prevalent in catholicism so it's not just evangelical christians saying this. I went to a catholic school for 8 years and learned to feel so much guilt for everything even though I didn't believe in god! It's taken years to unlearn and can be hugely damaging. Thank you for making these videos and being so clear about where the issues come from
I often wonder what the differences are between Catholics are fundamentalist evangelicals who live in the Bible Belt area. I’ve lived in the New York tristate area my whole life and we are awash with queers, Jews, and Catholics. I feel like there are tons of Catholics around me who are able to go to church on Sundays and not spend time hating gay people because, frankly, there are so many LGBT people living in the same geographic area.
"it's not gonna lick itself" is such a good, harmless "adult" joke😆 And so many kids movies, and I mean MANY, are loaded with adult jokes, and most kids won't get them. It's so harmless
Now everyone should go and watch Trixie Mattel react to the GD video. She gives a very heartfelt, genuine reaction to it, while in full drag, of course.
I feel the need to say, support your local gay clubs. I live in the town Betty and Kristen are from and fundies like them have gotten multiple of our drag venues shut down and it’s really impacting the community
It is really very strange that they think all drag is performed in... basically lingerie? And is explicit? So apparently they’ve just NEVER SEEN A DRAG SHOW???
yeah, and I would love to take them to just some of the lay theater groups in Germany. Drag is a super common method there, either to deal with a lack of people of one gender in the group, or simply because the person best suited for the role happen to be not of the same gender. One of the best shows I saw for example was a "Peter Pan" adaptation by a Theater Group of 10 people mostly men, with Peter being played by the one woman dressed as a boy, and Tinker Bell being played as a over the top gay flight attendend played by a locally well known gay actor. It was just wonderful. Those two would have lost their mind.
I literally just commented about the Pantomimes here at Xmas lol. If Brits start with this “children drag shows/queens reading in libraries” I’ll be hitting them with “be for real, pls” 👀
@@shey1865 there have been protestors at Drag Queen Story Time in the UK already. From a Pink News article: Hundreds gather to protect Drag Queen Story Hour from vile anti-LGBTQ+ protest Aug 24 22 "One group, named Alpha Men Assemble, believes it has the right to opt out of laws to which it does not consent. Other protestors reportedly came from groups like the Independent Nationalist Network, which contains former members of the BNP and Patriotic Alternative."
But the thing is, they're perfectly happy with drag when the punchline is "OMG it's a man in a dress ha ha ha", but the thing with drag QUEENS is that *isn't* the punchline, and that's where they suddenly have an issue.
I went to my sister's bachelorette party which was at a male strip club. Although I'm mostly straight, I was uncomfortable the entire time (men I don't know grinding on myself and ppl around me is just not my jam) - but then the drag queen showed up. She was awesome and made the night so much more enjoyable for me! I will die on the hill of defending drag queens bc at least the view will be fabulous.
I"m Christian and people like Girl Defined drive me _insane._ I'm not super devout but I'm trying to get into my spirituality more this year by doing daily devotionals. But that's my personal choice. It's not something that's been forced onto me to believe. Honestly, I went through a faith crisis sometime around 14 (mid 00s) and left the church for quite a while. I returned in the early 2010s when I saw a church that had a legitimate rainbow on its sign. I kept felt something talking to me to go there. When I attended one Sunday, I felt like I was at home. I've been attending that particular congregation almost ever since. I lapsed for a few years but I've been back for quite a long time. We're a pretty liberal Christian congregation (United Church of Christ). My congregation was _the_ first Open and Affirming (openly LGBT-friendly) in my state in the 1980s. We're a tiny congregation but we're mighty.
I find it hilarious and maddening that my mom was super supportive when I was in a drag show when I was 19, but she certainly doesn't approve of drag queens (apparently only drag kings). Cognitive dissonance
Tbf, good for her for at least supporting and loving her own child. Moms can be super out of touch and cringe, but at least she knows whose team she is on.
I saw that video and it's very telling about their beliefs. Girl Defined views drag queens and gay people as an "insult" or "mockery" of womanhood because Kristen and Bethany see womanhood as a performance. Their views of gender roles are even more regressive than most fundamentalist Christians I've met. They're on a whole other level.
That's actually an interesting point. Womanhood, to fundies, is all about service and obedience, so I think you could really be on to something there! These people probably are resentful of those who use femininity in a fun, expressive way, because GD's experience of it is intrinsically shameful and repressive.
drag can be so validating to queer people. at one of the scientific meetings i go to regularly, we had a drag show as a part of our lgbtqia+ mixer and i cannot tell you how many people, scientists in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, were so happy to see this proudly queer show. it made them feel like they didn't have to hide their queerness to be consider a respected scientist and expert in their field.
My hubby is like... Why do you watch these, isn't it triggering? (Because of my upbringing) For some reason it's not. It's validating watching these videos. Does this have a term in psychology? Like, selectively exposing yourself to the problem but in a different way?
I'm not sure if there's a term for it, but I have the same experience. I think catharsis is the closest word I can think of? Like hearing a professional say all the things I've thought but wasn't really sure I could express for a long time is very cathartic
It's validation. Knowing u can trust urself and the way u think especially when ur same thoughts are spoken by a professional can be very validating. Gives oneself security within ur own mind perhaps maybe allowing u to give more trust to ur thoughts which can be a very enlightening, and encouraging experience. I'm assuming ur brain loves the interaction. U trusting urself more is exactly what ur brain wants. Ik it's said that brains like to go the easiest course of action(for example why people stay in their conservative views instead of realizing that it's inhibiting them from actually living) but I also feel like brains love deep dives into one's own mental. Teaching ur brain to explore the depths of ur mind instead of ignoring it has shown to lead to more peace of mind. It's a relief to know the unknown we were so scared of is actually nothing to be afraid of. Humans always have a tendency to explore. Our minds are included in that. It's beautiful the way our brains work. Us being born alone and dying alone doesn't have to be a bad thing. especially if u are ur own best friend and uve put the work in to get to know urself. I enjoy my thoughts, I've created a safe space within my own mind. I just wish others the same. It's not easy, but it gets easier the more u try it. The more empathy u have to urself the more ull have to others. The less judgment u hold to oneself the less judgment ull hold to others. How u treat others is a reflection of how u treat urself.
It's called exposure therapy. They do it for OCD and some other disorders. It's also similar to how EMDR helps you revisit traumatizing history without further traumatizing yourself
I can confirm that that book isn’t enough to make a person. Throughout my whole life everyone has tried to make me like the way the book says I should have been, I tied too. To an extent it worked, but I never felt like a whole person. Whenever I’d manage to hear about people outside of the group I’d realize just how unique they all were, and how I could barely say two things about myself. After I left the group entirely I realized I didn’t have a personality. I barely knew what a personally was, still don’t. The amount of times I’ve tried to construct myself a personality just to drop it weeks later is too many to count. I’ve started trying to have a personality too late, whenever I’m not actively trying to act a certain way I act like, well, pretty much nothing. I’m fairly secure in myself and who I am now, but it’s still hard to keep it up and not just revert to acting like literally nothing.
I saw a tiktok that talked about how in the Bible, when it talks about the Christian god making man and woman, it’s amongst all these things that exist on a spectrum not a binary - land and water (marshes, beaches, swamps still exist); light and dark (dusk, twilight, sunrise still exist); et al - and I was like OMG that is beautiful.
Being read a story by a Drag Queen is bad for kids, but going to see animals who have been imprisoned against their will is wholesome family entertainment?
You are one of my favorite people on the internet. I really appreciate professionals with important knowledge to share getting on the internet and fighting misinformation. I know it takes a lot of time and energy and probably very thick skin. So thank you. I see you, I appreciate you.
Speaking of historical drag, I recently listened to an episode of the Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff podcast (by Margaret Killjoy, an awesome transfemme creator) about how nearly all historical traditions around christmas and yule (which are two separate holidays) involved crossdressing until a couple hundred years ago when puritans put a stop to it
I love your point about life being like a choose your own adventure book. I really struggled with that when I left fundamental christianity. I still do to a point. It's WILD to me that I CAN do what I want and I don't HAVE to do anything. I get to do what is meaningful to me, and I am the only person who gets a say in that. That is so amazing.
Thank you for that bit about identity development. I know this isn't directly related to the main topic but I'm a transmasc, late-diagnosed autistic person and I've been masking my identity in so many ways over my life. And now at 27 I'm developing identity from a very early age when I should have been doing this. And it is incredibly difficult especially with all of this rhetoric in society. It's confusing in general but with the autism it's been feeling somewhat impossible and/or hopeless. But like you said it IS a worthwhile endeavor. It's liberating just to look and search for myself. I hope this journey for everyone because as hard and fucked up as it can be, it's wonderful. I hope someday maybe Girl Defined can escape this place of control and dullness they're are caged in. It's pretty sad. Anyway thank you Mickey for standing up for the trans community, the Drag community, and queer people in general. 💜
I relate heavily to what mickey said about identity development and finding out who you are over time with baby steps. I had to completely rediscover who I was after splitting with my extremely fundamentalist ex fiancé. at times it seemed like focusing on what hobbies I enjoyed, books I liked, music i wanted to listen to, or activities I wanted to partake in was stupid or a waste of time. but in fact, it was one of the most healing parts of recovery from past religious messages telling me i'm only supposed to receive my identity from god. now i've got a large graphic novel collection, a bunch of concerts i've attended/planning to attend, decorated my room with anime/movie/music posters, spend my time with whoever i want to, and more. it took me time to realize that i shouldn't skimp on the things that bring me joy. it actually helps in more ways than you think.
For a joke, I saw the film adaptation in the cinema. At the end of that song, some kid just blurts out "are they gonna kiss, mommy?" I just about pissed myself trying not to LOL
This is why I like/watch these videos. You deserve the help. Thank you so much for questioning your peers belief's, it's one of the hardest things to do! ❣
I never had an issue with LGBTQ+. I have very close friends that are gay, and some that transitioned. To me that was always just so normal. I did have a misunderstanding of what drag was. Years ago I was listening to the wrong people, and just was ignorant. It’s people like you that continue to educate people like me. It’s grown me and I thank you so much for that. 💕
I wish you had mentioned Kristen and Bethany's constant use of the word "delusional" for anything they consider different. Like, delusions are a deeply frightening thing to deal with and a serious mental issue, and they insist that differing opinions are delusions and that society as a whole is delusioned.
Abusers often learn to co-opt the language of those calling them out to try and use the language as a cloak, trying to convince ppl they are in the same conversation, making points that are equal and valid.
Bethany and Kristen sound like they're afraid of looking outside their narrowly defined world because if they do they might find that this great big scary world contains something they might like or want to be, or might have to do the hard work of discovering who they are without guardrails. This seems just so (self) limiting to them.
It blows my mind how fundamentalists do not see the gigantic hole in their reasoning where both God created them and loves them, but at the same time hates them so much. That's so messed up.
I really commend your strength and personal perseverance in being able to re-film for put out a product that upholds your values. I understand how much easier and profitable it would be to post you just "screaming into the void", but I find your videos so genuinely comforting and affirming, while still being educational. Thank you very much. I'm new to your channel, and I'm very grateful to have found it.
"This is some real TERF shit" 🤣🤣 love your unfiltered honesty For real though I really enjoy how you deconstruct their points in a constructive and accessible way. Hopefully this video can even help similar close-minded folks and get through to them with factual information based on science. Great video!!
"big breasts that are massively oversized." when I look at the more popular queens, I do not see them nearing my size. When you look up questions on the sizes, the more popular suggestions are 4-5 cup sizes below me for the "really busty" suggestions. This is especially true for newer queens who depend more on off-the-rack fashion. you're not buying watermelons when the dresses are made for half-honeydews.
I had to explain to my dad why I, a lesbian who tends towards a masc look, can call myself Queer. But if he did, he'd get a yelling at. He's a white, cishet, Catholic. He thinks he's the oppressed one.
As a person who grew up around fundamentalist Christianity, but didn’t get much information on it, this is so interesting. I hope some of those people have had a healing journey away from fundamentalism.
I can tell you what IS abuse... my trans son's father intentionally dead-naming and mis-gendering our son. Intentionally. Every time they are in contact. These girls have no clue.
Fundies only care about abuse and consent violations when the behaviour going on isn't "godly." To them, there's nothing wrong with abusing and shaming someone who doesn't conform to their arbitrary lifestyle rules, as long as it makes the victim compliant.
Great video. Drag Queen Trixie Mattel made a response video to this too and it was awesome. I swear Kristin and Bethy have never so much as watched a TH-cam video of a drag queen. They know nothing. A lot of the Trixie videos I watch are of her trying to bake things in easy bake ovens or put together dollhouses lol. It's not all sexual!!
I think you make an important point about self discovery. It's like birth trauma in the sense that people don't realize that you aren't suddenly fully self realized and whole one day. It's not a function of time, but of actual effort. And so many people (myself included) are sick of it because I think we've been sold this idea that if you do x, you'll be who you are meant to be. Insert whatever you want for x -- maybe it's have kids, or have a high paying job, or climb Mt Everest. Yes, those things can help you learn something about yourself but it will never be the end-all be-all of who you are, and it only works if those goals align with your actual values. Meaning, society forces us to believe in so much BS that we kind of unconsciously go along with only to discover once we achieve said things that it doesn't fulfill us at all. That's the classic midlife crisis, right? There's a quote I like which goes something like putting a ladder up the wrong wall just gets you to the wrong place twice as quick. Sometimes we work really hard to get to the wrong damn place.
![How to Get a Developer Job - Even in This Economy [Full Course]](/img/n.gif)
Get 25% off Blinkist premium and enjoy 2 memberships for the price of 1! Start your 7-day free trial by clicking here: www.blinkist.com/mickeyatkins
You kept referring to these girls as "Christians". I think a more appropriate term would be "Religious extremists". Most Christian would denounce them as extremist like most Muslims would denounce the Taliban.
Something that really bothers me about Girl Difined's hatred of drag queens is the fact that they view larger breast and butts as inherently hypersexual. Most of the time I see queens who have the same portions as women I know. It's wild to me that Girl Defined can be so focused on being homophobic that they can't see how their rhetoric feeds into the opression of women or they don't care about that either.
I think they're pretty comfortable with the larger oppression of women, honestly... I've been looking at evangelical protestant sects generally, and whenever a scandal involving sexual abuse or degrading women comes up, the subtext I hear from the apologies by church leaders boil down to a subtextual, "well, I mean the victims were _women_ ..." I truly feel like a lot of people, especially people who were sexist before they 'got saved' or who internalized a lot of purity culture, have an uninterrogated conviction that basically boils down to the old chestnut that "men are people and women are _women_. "
In the 20th century between the wars mystery writer Dorothy Sayers wrote a pamphlet aimed partly at the church titled "Are Women Human?" Girl Definided's concept of 'God's radical design for women,' from what I've seen, is founded in an unconscious conviction that women are not human, ie, they're _women_ and by that logic oppressing them is essentially justified and even warranted...
I'm sorry for the essay, I've been thinking about this topic for weeks, and I feel like your comment sort of set up my thoughts about this... I feel like a lot of religious commentators are either missing this insight, or deliberately avoiding it because it gets people defensive... but not going there seems to me to be ignoring a significant part of the work that needs doing if we want to end sexual discrimination and gender violence in the church.
Femme presenting person of color here: oh my god. Their thinly veiled racial and misogynistic microagressions were laughably obvious. I just kept saying “wooow”. People thinking a drag queen is inherently hypersexual are just revealing that they think women as a whole and anyone that presents with “feminine” characteristics are sexual objects first and humans second, if that.
The British pantomime tradition has a drag 'dame' character, oversized body features are part of the humour, think arms crossed under bust to lift up some times very much not glamour drag! . The 'principal boy' character is played by a woman, and often gets to marry the Princess.
Um, they are very pro oppression of women, unfortunately. That’s what a lot of their content is about 😕
They must be seeing different videos that the people who watch Mickey’s channel. I like her channel, I am gay, I am ultra progressive (by American standards), but I can’t sign off on a child being present while a drag Queen tells sex stories (whether or not you are familiar with this video will help you see how much drag content is hidden from you/the liberal audience. The only reason I know is because I also watch a conservative source (which I disagree with), and they showed multiple videos clear as day with kids and parents all sitting around listening to a Queen tell about how she had sex with a guy, using vulgar terminology. This is just my personal opinion, but I feel like a foreign adversary is purposely trying to create separate realities via our social media feeds and pit Americans against each other).
If you need the threat of hell to be a good person then you're not a good person, you're a bad person on a leash
I wish I could tattoo this on my mom's forehead
On a leash, you say? Teehee.
Damn this needs to be on a tshirt. I've never heard this concept put so simply and clear.
This comment wins the internet, I'm gonna quote you forever now
Well said 👏👏👏👏👏
As a lesbian Christian who has deconstructed away from fundamentalism, I cant wait to remind myself why I deconstructed.
im a lesbian raised christian as well, but i quit for good. congrats on having deconstructed from the actual harmful stuff!!
Isn't it ironic that these two spiteful bitches who are spitting hate over people for being themselves are on a bed together? So much projection! 😆
@@LazyIRanch LMAO STOOOOP THEY'RE SISTERS 😭😭😭
@@toefungus85241 Being siblings and "christian" sure didn't stop Josh Duggar from molesting his sisters!
@@LazyIRanch i feel like you're a person who i'd want to smoke a blunt or two with. love ya!!
Your response to them saying "god has a better plan for you" was "no, you don't" and I think that just clarified something for me:
They are not taking about "god's plan" they are talking about upholding norms that are harmful and have been harmful for a very long time. It's not god's plan, it's christian supremicists'
Good catch
Yes. It's not god's plan for u, it a bunch of humans passing offering plàtes' plan for you. I agree, good catch!
Also God seems to always agree with those who interpret scripture THEIR way.
Which is why nobody can seem to agree with which interpretation is the correct one...
It's almost if all of this stuff in the bible is just speculative guessing by anyone who's reading it ....
@@URFTBOUND4LIFE Someone who I know who is religious once said this: "The problem with something like scripture is that everyone interprets it differently. The most problematic thing with that happens when people become selective in what they believe they and others should follow, instead of allowing flexibility in interpretation. Unfortunately most people are not very self-critical in reflecting on their own approach of what they believe is right compared to someone else's."
(This was the same person who at the end of a conversation made a remark about me being trans: "You know, I think God would be more than happy to see that at least one person is happy in this world, there's already so much awful things happening!" which I thought was a really nice way of putting it, even though she actively stated that God doesn't make mistakes, "but is clearly absent when he comes up with stuff like leukemia, I mean like...why? What have children done wrong!?")
This is exactly it. When my mom judges people for not following “Gods plan” or implies someone deserves suffering because they’re not following “Gods Will” I’m immediately like “no. They’re not following YOUR plan, or the Catholic Church’s plan.” Same thing with the Bible. The Bible was written by men. Not God.
why is it so hard for people to admit that they don't know what they're talking about? the lack of knowledge that these two know about drag history is embarrassing
Pride. Which is ironic, since Pride is a sin
They literally admit towards the end of their video that they're confused with the entire "self-reflection is complex and intimidating, just look to the Bible" outburst. They literally admit that identity is more complex but just completely discard that detail because it doesn't fit their reductionist views on self-expression.
As someone who was raised in this way of thinking (I’ve since deconstructed), you are taught to believe that the Bible is god’s word. Since you’ve read it, you immediately are right and everyone else has it deadly wrong. That’s what’s so dangerous about being kid raised in fundamentalism. It is absolutely incredibly embarrassing to act like they do! Looking back and seeing how close I got to behaving this way really makes me thankful I got out. Pitching a fit like they have on a subject they don’t know anything about is sadly much of what happens on Sundays (and Wednesdays…and every other day that ends in a Y) in communities like theirs. It really feels like you gain a “secret knowledge” that the rest of the world has yet to hear about and will die without. Gives you a huge head for sure. Like the other people said, it is pride.
they are extreme fundamentalist they only know how to hate certain groups and they are right and they don't hate us honestly it's just tough love or truth in love which is why this queer left fundamentalism years ago and also i saw how they twisted the Bible or tried to make it fit their views KNOWING the context and KNOWING what they were doing
I think it's because they think they know enough which is even worse imo
Mickey Atkins: “Is she ok? Is Bethany ok…?”
Narrator: Bethany was, indeed, *not* ok
LOL, yes!!!
she's so far from ok
bless her heart 😒
I hear this in the voice of Ron Howard.
I went to Pride with one of my drag queen friends. I helped him with makeup and getting him into clothes. There was a girl there with her mom that we ran into while we were walking around, and my friend was in a beautiful dress. The little girl got so excited because "I finally got to see a princess!"
And I thought that was the sweetest thing ever. Kids are generally more open-minded and okay with things.
Edited for grammar.
I love this! I saw my first drag show as an adult and I was like, "These are living barbies and I love them so much" lol.
Kids absolutely "get" Drag Queens! They love cosplay and dressing up and pretending! All they see is glitter, glam, and joy!
Mr. Rogers taught my generation about "make believe", lets just enjoy the camp & silliness for a change!
They're colorful like cartoon characters!
I remember a little girl seeing me walking to a show in costume and she thought I was Draculaura from Monster High in real life… I could just see the joy on her face and it was VERY clear she didn’t think anything else of it, she was just so excited to see someone who looked like a doll or cartoon in real life. Kids don’t read into these weird subtexts that bigoted adults see and they’re most DEFINITELY not being indoctrinated into some weird “demonic drag sex cult” (or whatever tf bigots are on about), they just want to see people in big dresses and glitter!
‘This is not helping people’s depression’. Ah yes. Suppression is the best thing for people’s mental health. 🙄.
Affirming people! The horror! 😱
As if Bethy "I'm proud I never went to college or worked a real job in my entire life" Beal would know Jack shit about what does and doesn't help people's depression.
Ah yes, men twerking on the screen is going to destroy my mental🙄
The tragedy😐
I was gonna say they need to be affirmed to understand, but nah nevermind that wouldn't do anything. theyre rights for me but not for thee women
This coming from the culture that has to endlessly spew out coping strategies because of the openly-admitted trauma it causes to its followers. Pot, meet kettle.
Meanwhile Hooters has a children's menu and is considered a "family friendly" restaurant. I would say that's a more hyper sexual environment to take a child to..
🙏
if witnessing people play dress-up is child abuse i really wanna see their recaction to the existence of theater and musicals
these people pretending to be scared of gay people existing around children as if gay people have not for decades given homes to and raised the children that straight people neglected abandoned and gave up lol
Or literally the dress up chests many kindergartens have that aren’t gender-segregated 😅
@@christine.b.k your comment made me realize that they would love my kindergarten where i wasnt allowed to play with legos because im a girl lmaoo
Our small town theater often has people play opposite gender. My daughter played Linus in You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. There were too many girls for the parts in the show. She was an adorable Linus.
Wait till they find out about original Shakespearean theatre
Few useful information:
The "It's not gonna lick itself" was at another show, not the one for children.. and it was at an ice cream restaurant.
Non of the outfits the performers wore, would be considered inappropriate on a cis woman. ( I mention cis, because I am pretty sure they would say it about trans women too.
You can find information and see pictures from that event on the internet.
If your kid is old enough to understand that double entendre, they are old enough to enjoy the joke. If they aren't able to understand, they think it's a bad joke about ice cream.
Jesus Christ. Nice to know about that being at an ice cream shop! I see all these assholes talking about how all drag is bad because of that sign. Now I know the context and I feel like they’re even more idiotic than I already thought they were.
@@rachelk4805 yes. This. Kids are gonna get jokes or they won't .
My mom was offended I knew what a joke with the word Horny meant when I was... at least 15, I think? D: I was pretty exasperated by her expectations
I’m glad it wasn’t at a nightclub. No matter if a show is family friendly or not I just have a Thing™️ about anyone under 21 being in a nightclub for any reason, but that’s just me
Even then, I’ve heard worse double entendres in PG-rated cartoons and movies. The only reason they saw a problem with that sign at ALL was because drag queens were in the same room.
As a queer woman you're videos really help me when I have to be around my VERY Christian family, and have to remember I am valid. You're the best Mickey!
Same!! Mickey, you have been invaluable in the acceptance of my queer identity and faith deconstruction as a college student🤍 keep doing what you’re doing queen!!
You guys are so very valid! My sister was fostering a trans teen, incidents happened with a spouse so they took him away and put him back with his Mormon adopted mother who abandoned him in the system when she realized that adopting a child with trauma isn't always easy, before my sister he was being fostered by a family who was terrible and collected Nazi memorabilia. So he ran away from his adopted moms, my sis knows where he is though and he is safe and instead of sending him back to his crappy adoptive parent she has just kept tabs and made sure he is safe, has what he needs, and she even spends most days with him. I got to meet him when I was home, fell in love instantly he is my family and he knows he can come to me if he needs anything too. She is his mom, she is the one who has been there, she is the one he turns to. I am glad he has her.
The abandoner sent him a tent. Instead of inviting him home and being open and caring she sent a tent! I hate her. I love my nephew.
Same--I'm a non-binary trans guy-ish person. Love Mickey! I'm way older than most of her community (in my 70s), and feel very included.
My mom was one of those people who hate all things queer. You know what happened when my teacher started grooming me and she found out? Let it keep happening.
As long as the grooming is hetero-normative they tend to be fine with it. But god forbid you find a happy healthy relationship with a same sex partner
Sorry it happen to you. I hope you are away from this situation and healty.
@@disasterfred I am. The teacher was transferred. Hopefully he’s in jail now. I was never strong enough to pursue legal action
@@nervousbreakdown711 You were strong enough to survive which is hard enough. I hope you receive love and healing
I am so sorry you went through that. Shame on your mother.
“Stop molding your children so we can mold them to our side!” 😂😂😂 Nice.
I promise church is far more traumatizing than drag shows; now that they're concerned about consent in children, someone needs to tell them their kid shouldn't go to church until they are an adult.
frfr drag shows are empowering that's why they don't like it.
I remember being like 7 years old and hearing a church story about women dyeing their skin with coffee to escape becoming sex slaves. I had nightmares for months. But yep, your kid seeing a family friendly drag queen is sexual abuse.
Amen.
@@Sputterbug exactly. Once you stop feeling ashamed, they lose their most effective control method.
@@haleyzwaal4183 I'm sorry you had that experience and I hope you've been able to heal now that you're older.
I'd happily take my son to a family-friendly drag show long before we set foot in a church.
Funny thing. A drag show did a fund raiser for a church I attended (a United Church of Christ). Couldn't go because the place they used was not smoke free (didn't smoke for the event but doesn't matter to me).
The queer community really helped me. I have an intersex condition, so I guess I am part of the community, honestly idk.
In church, I was made to feel very ashamed, and lesser because I can’t have kids. In overt and subtle ways, the way I was expected to pick up slack, in church, and with friends and family because I had no kids, or marriage. The way I was consistently “volun-told” into things like free babysitting, charity work, and more, it was so frustrating.
Celebrating weddings and baby showers, buying gifts, grinning and bearing “when’s it going to be your turn?”. Taking the time to be a listening ear, and then barely getting a birthday text from those same people. The message was loud and clear “you are worth less until you have and husband and kids.”
I was getting really burnt out and fed up. The homophobia in the church was the thread pull that unraveled Christianity for me. It seemed incongruous that loving God would punish love.
I spent more time in queer spaces, and felt so supported. Never going back.
If you want to be part of the community then of course you are, you have a place and you belong. 💖Glad you were finally able to find a safe and supportive space to be your wonderful self.
If you feel part of the community, then you're welcome to be part of it. The I in the (extended) acronym stands for "intersex" (and for others who aren't sure, the A does NOT mean 'Ally', it means 'Asexual/Aromantic' - allies are appreciated but someone who is cisgender, heterosexual, endosex, allosexual and alloromantic is not part of the community). So yes, you are certainly involved if you feel it represents you and your experiences.
I'm so sorry that you've had so much heteronormative BS pushed on you to the extent that it's made you feel lesser because of the bigots around you. As someone who is nonbinary but unable to have kids despite desperately wanting them my whole life because of medical issues that have left me infertile and too sick to effectively parent anyway at this point, even if I could get around it, I feel for you when it comes to the constant pressure and questions about when you're going to be having kids etc. It really sucks when you end up being the "black sheep" because of something you literally cannot help.
I found out about intersex people while I was still young and indoctrinated into fundamentalist Christianity. I was so happy because I thought that everyone else would see it how I did. I was very much a "tomboy" who couldn't fit into prescribed gender rolls if you liquidized my body and poured it into one, so I finally saw something that could explain why a perfect being would create me in a way everyone around me denounced.
Long story short, I brought it up and said something along the lines of "Hey, I know we believed that God created only men and women with respective roles and there's no in between or blurred line, but God actually creates people who are in between so we must have interpreted something wrong. God didn't create only male and female and wouldn't want us to enforce strict and rigid divisions between us if he didn't create us all with these strict and rigid divisions. God made reality and reality is that something other than strictly male and female exists." and got absolutely berated and belittled for it.
That was the first time it struck me that all the people around me who claimed to devoutly worship this perfect god, who supposedly created everything without error and with purpose, actually didn't believe in such a being at all and we're just using the name to give an aura of authority to whatever beliefs they had already decided upon themselves. It was the thing that sparked the realisation in me that "God" was just a tool they designed to perpetuate their own very imperfect biases; a weapon they forged to beat others into submitting to their unrealistic world views.
I will forever be thankful to the intersex community for opening my eyes to that. Today, I am openly queer, unashamed, and unafraid of any supernatural sky daddy or threats of eternal suffering.
@@TheAwesomes2104 I am so glad that you were able to escape that environment. When even a child can spot the holes in things and instead of actually thinking about it, they just stamp down harder, it demonstrates exactly what you say. The Bible doesn't define the morality of whatever flavour of Christian a person is, the person and church cherry-pick from the bible to justify their beliefs and moral stances. It's impossible to follow the bible to the letter because of the contradictions.
Good for you!
Agree, wholeheartedly. My thoughts:
1) the whole "big butts, boobs and twerking argument" is anti-Black/POC
2) Some children don't (maybe even can't) consent to go to church or follow the religion they are born into
3) Hate and constantly evaluating who's in and who's out is EXHAUSTING. I remember obsessively googling things I was "allowed" to read, watch, listen to etc. It takes up so much mental energy instead of just letting things be. But that's part of the control of the religion, of course.
Children having needs & experiences you don’t understand is NOT abuse. Judgment & lack of authenticity could very much be considered exploitation however. Expression isn’t about s*x. These “girls” are exhausting. Control is NOT a protective factor either Bethy
I agree! But having them around vulgar neon signs, listening to queens tell uncensored sex stories, and people twerking doesn’t seem appropriate. I am fine with a child being around a drag Queen so long as the drag queen or environment doesn’t introduce kids to sexual content. I wonder if you know which videos I am talking about or if your algorithm hides them from you.
@@youtubeposter3814 I think I know the kinds of videos you are referring to. I don’t believe introducing sexual content is an issue at the kid friendly events. No one is in favor of abuse or exploitation of children especially not in a “systematic “way. Kids need to be protected. Seeing people happy & authentic is not hurtful. Seeing families that don’t look like yours, but still take Care of each other gives hope & reassurance for growing up
@@youtubeposter3814 Neuroscience shows that despite pervs existing? The vast majority of people are hardwired to protect young'ns. That goes for all genders & sexual identities.
No one wants sweet babies around messed up crap. Except weirdos. & those who keep saying that drag & trangender humans are somehow also abusers tend to be regularly caught out as abusers themselves. Just like the uber anti‐gay politicians keep getting caught with same‐sex sex workers.
I strongly believe its their self‐hatred & fears about themselves causing them to project.
Remember ‐ Womem were once imprisoned for wearing pants.
Less than a century ago.
@@emcrolls Bingo❤❤
@@AmberAmber right & the vast majority of predators are cishet. Not queer , gay or trans
Let’s just ask these girls if they support cheerleaders and beauty pageants. And have them explain photos from those arenas.
esp child beauty pageants, that shit gets SCARY...
None of these people ever complain about the fact that children are allowed to eat at Hooters 🤷🏼♀️
I'm sure it's run by "Christians".
@@yoyosworld2773 EW! Don't watch these shows, but somehow not surprised. I have seen "baby/toddler" t-shirts with these sorts of messages though. I'm sure to these two they are perfectly fine.
Can we PLEASE do drag shows at a museum? I know I would be endlessly more entertained if we could learn natural history from a dancing drag queen show. Like 100%, TAKE MY MONEY.
“It’s not going to lick itself” is also a neon sign in every new trendy ice cream shop. It’s not that deep Kristen
Drag shows *can be* very adult or "perverted" as they worded it. But those are the adult shows. There's *no way* that it's like that for the children's shows
Yes, exactly. Just like with other forms of entertainment, there's something for All age groups. It's like saying All movies are inapropiate because some of them have adult themes.
Have you seen the actual clips of the “family friendly” shoes? They are out there.
@@crazeekids9744 Quit parroting lies cooked up by bigots.
"Perverted" is also just such a creepy and stigmatizing way of referring to lighthearted displays of sexuality between adults 😖 It implies such a predatory and ominous atmosphere for something that's meant to be fun and entertaining and freeing, even outside of the fact that they're baselessly claiming that drag shows for kids are sexual when they are not and never have been
@@crazeekids9744 and there are two issues with it. One…those shows were not set up to be “kid friendly” and two…maybe instead of blaming the drag queens doing their shows at bars. Again I say bars, how about go after the parents. Didn’t know it was the norm to blame everyone other than the ones at fault. Oh what a minute we do…they are called republicans. My bad.
Now I want 2 versions of this video, one that’s constructive with actionable advice and one that’s just Mickey cussing GD out, no holds barred and no therapeutic advice. 😆
I think it’s a form of child abuse to force indoctrination of belief system that instills fear and helplessness into there psyche. Constantly striving for perfection, yet always being a disappointment. It’s exhausting.
Basically what is taught in a church
For real. I remember thinking I was going to be punished by their god when puberty hit me full force and my hormones started raging, because of how they'd drilled in me that humans are inherently sinners and we're not "supposed" to have lustful feelings. Kids shouldn't have to lay awake being afraid of eternal torment.
@@lucienfortner841 People literally get married and can't bring themselves to have sex with their spouse even though it's "legal" now because they spent their whole life thinking it's a sin.
Religion can be so traumatic for children. I suffer from paranoia, especially in the form of being surveilled, the phobia that someone is constantly watching me. Wanna know what was drilled into me as a child? "God is always watching!". Maybe that's comforting for some people but to child me it was horrifying. I took their words as truth and never felt comfortable. No doubt it took a part in what I suffer with now. Thanks mom.
@@shut7353 Same, plus I had no privacy growing up. My mom found out I'm queer by searching my room, and having to deal with the fallout was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I'm pretty damn territorial now.
"People are not gucci bags," is a quote I will be using and loving for the rest of my life lol
So, I'm visiting my family for Christmas and my nephew has recently discovered Blues Clues and is obsessed. During the Hanuka episode, the host has to draw a family, and so he says something like, "Now, every family looks different, but I'm going to draw it as two larger faces for parents and two smaller faces for kids". And my parent's son is just so aghast that he would even mention that 'families could be different' and 'that one of the larger faces didn't have hair'. He immediately went for a 'they're pushing gays on the kids!' because he, and other b!gots are soooo on edge for anything that doesn't immediately comply with his stupid worldview that literally the rest of the family fought back against him
Good grief. Yes families are different, he could be talking about grandparents raising grandkids or maybe they're fostering or adopted. I'm so sorry, I hope everyone gave him both barrels ❤️✌🏻
@@catborg780 Oh, absolutely. My mother shut that down. It was excessively easy, given that the nephew in question is an only child and he and his parents live with his grandparents. So his family would be four big faces and one small face, along with two tiny faces for the birds
I’m glad most of your family is anti-bigot, even if you have one outlier. Lol ❤
at the end of the day, beneath all the rage and disgust, all i can really feel for these people is pity. because it's glaringly obvious how much they're projecting their own emptiness, loneliness, confusion, repression, etc. etc. etc. they're outwardly hateful because they're scared of ever having to consider what's inside of them. deep down they are just cowards. when they see strength they have to try and discredit it or they'd have to confront their own simpering weakness
also thank you very much for addressing the maladjusted scarcity mentality!! womanhood 👏 is not 👏 a pie 👏
It’s crazy to me how Bethy and Kristen shout that kids can’t consent to be brought a family friendly drag show. What if their kids said to them, “Mommy, I don’t want to go to church anymore or to Sunday school anymore.” I seriously doubt Kristen and Bethy would give them a consensual choice on that. There are so many things kids have to do that they get no freedom of choice on like school, but there is a reason for that (kids need an education.) So the fact that parents force their kids to go to church/synagogue whether they want to or not drives me crazy, even when liberal non-bigoted parents do it. This is something I’ve actually discussed with my own therapist 10 billion times. Lol
As a trans guy who grew up as a evangelical christian and has since deconstructed, drag used to make me feel really uncomfortable. I think a lot of that was probably internalised transphobia/homophobia, but I would still say it's not really my thing. Nonetheless, I occasionally end up having to defend it to some of my family despite the fact that I don't personally even really like it because I can recognise now that it isn't a bad thing, just something that I don't enjoy
I'm the same way about BDSM. We don't have to personally like something or want to participate in it for it to be an okay thing to do.
I feel you. I sometimes end up advocating for things I don't really like, because people are being unreasonable.
@Rach I feel like the most accessible type of drag content right is RuPaul and that's not what drag is like out in the world. The costumes, the performances, the big personalities and the personal stories, yes, but the overhyped, drama-filled, fabricated conflicts? That's reality TV and that's what people are now associating with drag
Exactly, drag is simply a performance, whether they are dancing, singing, doing stand up, or playing a musical instrument, it’s a form of entertainment. And not all performances are for everyone. Like I don’t really care for stand-up comedy (regardless of who is doing it), because the jokes are typically too scripted for me to enjoy, but that doesn’t make stand-up comedy bad in my eyes. It’s just not for me. You don’t have to treat something like hell on earth just because you don’t enjoy it yourself.
"I don't enjoy it" is fine. "You aren't allowed to enjoy it" is weirdly involving yourself in other people's choices and gross. Full stop.
"Go to the zoo"? In terms of sexual behavior, a zoo would potentially be even wilder than a child-friendly drag show.
I will never forget taking my (at the time) preschool age kids to the zoo, and the highlight (for my youngest) was when the elephant did a big poo. 😂 That's far more graphic than any drag story time.
I highly recommend the video "What is a Groomer?" by Caelan Conrad! They're a fantastic queer creator and that video gives SO much context to the history of the use of terms like "groomer" and "perverted" towards LGBTQ+ people. It's so important to be aware of, especially given the recent rise of this type of rhetoric towards our community.
Mx. Caelan themself does a really good job of making documentaries that are thorough, well-organised and more factual than most to some news sources (and huge kudos to them as well for using humor during some serious segments of their documentaries)
I went to a drag show when I was a teenager, it was hosted by my towns pride parade, outside, and free to watch. It was amazing, one drag queen did a shrek rotine another was dressed as a clown, it was overall a very fun and safe environment, but whenever a queen did a "explicit" routine, we were told how long, and how "bad" it was, and most people with small children went to get food during those routines. it made me feel so warm and understood. I still have the photos of me standing next to drag queens, and they're some of my favourite photos of myself.
edit: the "explicit" routines were usually just bad words in songs, or mild suggestiveness, sure some drag shows are adult, but its not inherently an inappropriate thing.
I'm only 06:42 but it reminded me of something I read recently: there was a hubbub about ballet back in the day (like hundreds of years ago) and it was an art when male dancers did it in in the 1600/1700's, but once female dancers took over as the primary performers in the 1800's then the audience/fans that went were there for 'immoral' reasons- especially when skirts were shortened to show off the foot and legwork of the dancers as en pointe developed into more than just a stunt. Even in the early 1900s I think the advertisements were censored because the women were wearing flesh colored tights so they APPEARED to be bare legged. There is a photo where some dancers are posing with their tights on and legs raised and like, eye rolling or laughing or something. Even back then, performers were tired of their art being labeled as sExUaL just because it involved the appearance of women.
Hopefully one day drag will have the respect ballet companies have.
Love this!
Hayy. I’m a queer black male very effeminate presenting, and have gone through some things obviously with that considered, it warms my heart whenever I hear you defend the community with the passion you have. So many of us go through terrible things if not life ending/destroying things even when young, at the hands of people so misinformed who have vicious hate in their heart. While there is freedom of speech I think in the age of social media and likely internet as a whole, all with possibly an infinite presence, whenever these ignorant ideas become vocalized and engrained on TH-cam they exist forever as is with anything put up online in some way shape or form. That being said I think emphasis should be put on the terms of services about hate speech because these outrageous videos with this lasting presence, WILL reverberate forever and WILL influence peoples actions and assist in chain reactions of affirmation for peoples hatred. Remaining in minds of people who along with other affirmations contribute to something such as Colorado, yup. Though extreme, I think there should be laws against blatant hatred toward any marginalized community PERIOD, for the sake of human life. Thank you again. Love you Mickey and that hair is very pretty (it always is but you know)👍🏽💕🏳️🌈
The biggest problem I have with religion is that the followers are taught that they're responsible for other people's behavior and/or salvation. That's why they act so enraged, they want to control you so they are righteous and allowed into heaven 🙄
That’s Christianity specifically. But yes, I agree
@@nervousbreakdown711 Yes you're right. My Muslim in-laws are very preachy about their beliefs but don't act like my choices effect their own relationship with God.
hahaha i actually love how she references going to the zoo as an appropriate place to bring children, for me the zoo was the most traumatic place i ever went as a child besides marine land. Seeing all these animals trapped in these cages and tanks disturbed me for life. I saw a tiger just pacing because it had gone stir crazy. My heart was never the same.
Oh no! What zoo was that? I remember going to the Bronx Zoo with my parents, it was incredible, amazing! Its more like an animal sanctuary. It was very large with a lot of space, we took a cable car that went over the habitat. The animals seemed really unbothered by the people.
When I took my kids to the zoo the turtles were loudly sexing it up (I didn't know turtles could be that loud). Guess we have to avoid all turtles forever now. 🤷
So this is what I imagine “God tells you who are” works irl
Bethy: I like crop tops and yoga pants
God: no, you like overalls
Bethy for the rest of her life: insists she LOVES overalls
Not related to the video, but I just wanted to thank you. I've been watching your content for a few months now, and eventually you've made me believe that therapy isn't that bad and I even started wanting to try it. And just a few weeks ago, I've found myself a therapist. I even got lucky enough because she's amazing, and I honestly can't wait to work more with her and heal. So yeah, thank you for the work you're doing on this channel ❣️
I love that you differentiate between fundamentalist christianity and other christians. I would add that these views are also very prevalent in catholicism so it's not just evangelical christians saying this. I went to a catholic school for 8 years and learned to feel so much guilt for everything even though I didn't believe in god! It's taken years to unlearn and can be hugely damaging. Thank you for making these videos and being so clear about where the issues come from
I often wonder what the differences are between Catholics are fundamentalist evangelicals who live in the Bible Belt area. I’ve lived in the New York tristate area my whole life and we are awash with queers, Jews, and Catholics. I feel like there are tons of Catholics around me who are able to go to church on Sundays and not spend time hating gay people because, frankly, there are so many LGBT people living in the same geographic area.
"It's not going to lick itself" an appropriate slogan for a show sponsored by an icecream shop, which Girl Defined choose to leave out.
"it's not gonna lick itself" is such a good, harmless "adult" joke😆 And so many kids movies, and I mean MANY, are loaded with adult jokes, and most kids won't get them. It's so harmless
As a cis/ace Christian male, I destest "Girl Defined" and when it comes to snarking on "Bethy" I'm here for it!
Now everyone should go and watch Trixie Mattel react to the GD video. She gives a very heartfelt, genuine reaction to it, while in full drag, of course.
I love those videos! Her reaction to GD wearing makeup in a god honoring way was my first intro to Trixie and I instantly fell in love
this makes me want to do a drag parody of their video called “Gurrl Defined”
I feel the need to say, support your local gay clubs. I live in the town Betty and Kristen are from and fundies like them have gotten multiple of our drag venues shut down and it’s really impacting the community
It is really very strange that they think all drag is performed in... basically lingerie? And is explicit? So apparently they’ve just NEVER SEEN A DRAG SHOW???
I went to a drag show and I fucking cried. Seeing people exist in a such a space with such freedom without girl define-like hate.
I wish I had the money to pay for their flight tickets to here in the UK at Christmas time, and take them to a pantomime.
Their minds would explode
yeah, and I would love to take them to just some of the lay theater groups in Germany. Drag is a super common method there, either to deal with a lack of people of one gender in the group, or simply because the person best suited for the role happen to be not of the same gender.
One of the best shows I saw for example was a "Peter Pan" adaptation by a Theater Group of 10 people mostly men, with Peter being played by the one woman dressed as a boy, and Tinker Bell being played as a over the top gay flight attendend played by a locally well known gay actor. It was just wonderful.
Those two would have lost their mind.
I literally just commented about the Pantomimes here at Xmas lol. If Brits start with this “children drag shows/queens reading in libraries” I’ll be hitting them with “be for real, pls” 👀
Send me instead...
@@shey1865 there have been protestors at Drag Queen Story Time in the UK already. From a Pink News article:
Hundreds gather to protect Drag Queen Story Hour from vile anti-LGBTQ+ protest
Aug 24 22
"One group, named Alpha Men Assemble, believes it has the right to opt out of laws to which it does not consent. Other protestors reportedly came from groups like the Independent Nationalist Network, which contains former members of the BNP and Patriotic Alternative."
But the thing is, they're perfectly happy with drag when the punchline is "OMG it's a man in a dress ha ha ha", but the thing with drag QUEENS is that *isn't* the punchline, and that's where they suddenly have an issue.
Who’s gonna tell Bethy and Kristen that King James was bisexual?
Shhh! What about David and Jonathan...
Deadass?
@@Eli_JK yep
@@lesliesheppard6112 that's cool as fuck
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
As a woman who is a survivor of CSA, I feel the safest when I’m around drag queens.
I went to my sister's bachelorette party which was at a male strip club. Although I'm mostly straight, I was uncomfortable the entire time (men I don't know grinding on myself and ppl around me is just not my jam) - but then the drag queen showed up. She was awesome and made the night so much more enjoyable for me! I will die on the hill of defending drag queens bc at least the view will be fabulous.
Also the amount of *gasp * *pearl clutching * in the girl defined video is so ridiculous
I"m Christian and people like Girl Defined drive me _insane._ I'm not super devout but I'm trying to get into my spirituality more this year by doing daily devotionals. But that's my personal choice. It's not something that's been forced onto me to believe. Honestly, I went through a faith crisis sometime around 14 (mid 00s) and left the church for quite a while. I returned in the early 2010s when I saw a church that had a legitimate rainbow on its sign. I kept felt something talking to me to go there. When I attended one Sunday, I felt like I was at home. I've been attending that particular congregation almost ever since. I lapsed for a few years but I've been back for quite a long time. We're a pretty liberal Christian congregation (United Church of Christ). My congregation was _the_ first Open and Affirming (openly LGBT-friendly) in my state in the 1980s. We're a tiny congregation but we're mighty.
I find it hilarious and maddening that my mom was super supportive when I was in a drag show when I was 19, but she certainly doesn't approve of drag queens (apparently only drag kings). Cognitive dissonance
Tbf, good for her for at least supporting and loving her own child. Moms can be super out of touch and cringe, but at least she knows whose team she is on.
I saw that video and it's very telling about their beliefs. Girl Defined views drag queens and gay people as an "insult" or "mockery" of womanhood because Kristen and Bethany see womanhood as a performance. Their views of gender roles are even more regressive than most fundamentalist Christians I've met. They're on a whole other level.
That's actually an interesting point. Womanhood, to fundies, is all about service and obedience, so I think you could really be on to something there!
These people probably are resentful of those who use femininity in a fun, expressive way, because GD's experience of it is intrinsically shameful and repressive.
drag can be so validating to queer people. at one of the scientific meetings i go to regularly, we had a drag show as a part of our lgbtqia+ mixer and i cannot tell you how many people, scientists in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, were so happy to see this proudly queer show. it made them feel like they didn't have to hide their queerness to be consider a respected scientist and expert in their field.
My hubby is like...
Why do you watch these, isn't it triggering? (Because of my upbringing)
For some reason it's not. It's validating watching these videos. Does this have a term in psychology? Like, selectively exposing yourself to the problem but in a different way?
Same here
I'm not sure if there's a term for it, but I have the same experience. I think catharsis is the closest word I can think of? Like hearing a professional say all the things I've thought but wasn't really sure I could express for a long time is very cathartic
It's validation. Knowing u can trust urself and the way u think especially when ur same thoughts are spoken by a professional can be very validating. Gives oneself security within ur own mind perhaps maybe allowing u to give more trust to ur thoughts which can be a very enlightening, and encouraging experience. I'm assuming ur brain loves the interaction. U trusting urself more is exactly what ur brain wants. Ik it's said that brains like to go the easiest course of action(for example why people stay in their conservative views instead of realizing that it's inhibiting them from actually living) but I also feel like brains love deep dives into one's own mental. Teaching ur brain to explore the depths of ur mind instead of ignoring it has shown to lead to more peace of mind. It's a relief to know the unknown we were so scared of is actually nothing to be afraid of. Humans always have a tendency to explore. Our minds are included in that.
It's beautiful the way our brains work. Us being born alone and dying alone doesn't have to be a bad thing. especially if u are ur own best friend and uve put the work in to get to know urself. I enjoy my thoughts, I've created a safe space within my own mind. I just wish others the same. It's not easy, but it gets easier the more u try it. The more empathy u have to urself the more ull have to others. The less judgment u hold to oneself the less judgment ull hold to others. How u treat others is a reflection of how u treat urself.
It's called exposure therapy. They do it for OCD and some other disorders. It's also similar to how EMDR helps you revisit traumatizing history without further traumatizing yourself
The “psychological term” you’re looking for is “validation”. You had it right!
I can confirm that that book isn’t enough to make a person.
Throughout my whole life everyone has tried to make me like the way the book says I should have been, I tied too. To an extent it worked, but I never felt like a whole person. Whenever I’d manage to hear about people outside of the group I’d realize just how unique they all were, and how I could barely say two things about myself.
After I left the group entirely I realized I didn’t have a personality. I barely knew what a personally was, still don’t. The amount of times I’ve tried to construct myself a personality just to drop it weeks later is too many to count.
I’ve started trying to have a personality too late, whenever I’m not actively trying to act a certain way I act like, well, pretty much nothing.
I’m fairly secure in myself and who I am now, but it’s still hard to keep it up and not just revert to acting like literally nothing.
I saw a tiktok that talked about how in the Bible, when it talks about the Christian god making man and woman, it’s amongst all these things that exist on a spectrum not a binary - land and water (marshes, beaches, swamps still exist); light and dark (dusk, twilight, sunrise still exist); et al - and I was like OMG that is beautiful.
This made my heart sing thank you so much for writing this. It’s 100% right
Being read a story by a Drag Queen is bad for kids, but going to see animals who have been imprisoned against their will is wholesome family entertainment?
I would feel 100% comfortable with my daughters being around drag queens than ever being around a Christian I did not know well.
About the gender binary, I heard a Christian say that intersex people exist because of sin. That’s when I knew it was time for me to walk away.
You are one of my favorite people on the internet. I really appreciate professionals with important knowledge to share getting on the internet and fighting misinformation. I know it takes a lot of time and energy and probably very thick skin. So thank you. I see you, I appreciate you.
Speaking of historical drag, I recently listened to an episode of the Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff podcast (by Margaret Killjoy, an awesome transfemme creator) about how nearly all historical traditions around christmas and yule (which are two separate holidays) involved crossdressing until a couple hundred years ago when puritans put a stop to it
I love your point about life being like a choose your own adventure book. I really struggled with that when I left fundamental christianity. I still do to a point. It's WILD to me that I CAN do what I want and I don't HAVE to do anything. I get to do what is meaningful to me, and I am the only person who gets a say in that. That is so amazing.
Thank you for that bit about identity development. I know this isn't directly related to the main topic but I'm a transmasc, late-diagnosed autistic person and I've been masking my identity in so many ways over my life. And now at 27 I'm developing identity from a very early age when I should have been doing this. And it is incredibly difficult especially with all of this rhetoric in society. It's confusing in general but with the autism it's been feeling somewhat impossible and/or hopeless.
But like you said it IS a worthwhile endeavor. It's liberating just to look and search for myself. I hope this journey for everyone because as hard and fucked up as it can be, it's wonderful. I hope someday maybe Girl Defined can escape this place of control and dullness they're are caged in. It's pretty sad. Anyway thank you Mickey for standing up for the trans community, the Drag community, and queer people in general. 💜
I relate heavily to what mickey said about identity development and finding out who you are over time with baby steps. I had to completely rediscover who I was after splitting with my extremely fundamentalist ex fiancé. at times it seemed like focusing on what hobbies I enjoyed, books I liked, music i wanted to listen to, or activities I wanted to partake in was stupid or a waste of time. but in fact, it was one of the most healing parts of recovery from past religious messages telling me i'm only supposed to receive my identity from god.
now i've got a large graphic novel collection, a bunch of concerts i've attended/planning to attend, decorated my room with anime/movie/music posters, spend my time with whoever i want to, and more. it took me time to realize that i shouldn't skimp on the things that bring me joy. it actually helps in more ways than you think.
Also, I love it every time you said "First of all, you're not invited" to these two. Gives off the "You can't sit with us!" vibe from Mean Girls lol.
My mom took me to see Cats on stage when I was a young teen and the Rum Tum Tugger made me way more sexually confused than any drag show
For a joke, I saw the film adaptation in the cinema. At the end of that song, some kid just blurts out "are they gonna kiss, mommy?"
I just about pissed myself trying not to LOL
From a mother of a Trans daughter, I just simply want to say thank you for all that you do. 🤗 🌈
Thanks for these videos. They really help me process my fundamentalist cult upbringing.
Saaaaaame though
This is why I like/watch these videos. You deserve the help. Thank you so much for questioning your peers belief's, it's one of the hardest things to do! ❣
Same
I never had an issue with LGBTQ+. I have very close friends that are gay, and some that transitioned. To me that was always just so normal. I did have a misunderstanding of what drag was. Years ago I was listening to the wrong people, and just was ignorant. It’s people like you that continue to educate people like me. It’s grown me and I thank you so much for that. 💕
I wish you had mentioned Kristen and Bethany's constant use of the word "delusional" for anything they consider different. Like, delusions are a deeply frightening thing to deal with and a serious mental issue, and they insist that differing opinions are delusions and that society as a whole is delusioned.
I actually appreciate this video because I did not know drag shows could be family friendly, thank you for this information.
Abusers often learn to co-opt the language of those calling them out to try and use the language as a cloak, trying to convince ppl they are in the same conversation, making points that are equal and valid.
Bethany and Kristen sound like they're afraid of looking outside their narrowly defined world because if they do they might find that this great big scary world contains something they might like or want to be, or might have to do the hard work of discovering who they are without guardrails. This seems just so (self) limiting to them.
That or they are scared they will lose their men to way prettier guys. Haha
I have a feeling at least one of them is secretly queer and at least one of their husbands probably is too, but who knows if we’ll ever know for sure
love how u didn't just take the easy shots but throughly explained why this way of thinking is harmful
The irony is there is so many documented cases of sexual abuse in the religious community
It almost feels like the rampant accusations and finger-pointing is just damage control at this point...
It blows my mind how fundamentalists do not see the gigantic hole in their reasoning where both God created them and loves them, but at the same time hates them so much. That's so messed up.
As far as I can see, it’s really just a myth designed to glorify the image of an abusive parent
@@WhatWouldLubitschDo Yes!! Abusive male figures... Priest or any kind of minister, father, husband, male son...
I really commend your strength and personal perseverance in being able to re-film for put out a product that upholds your values. I understand how much easier and profitable it would be to post you just "screaming into the void", but I find your videos so genuinely comforting and affirming, while still being educational. Thank you very much. I'm new to your channel, and I'm very grateful to have found it.
Fundies: I don’t think this is good for children
Also fundies: CHILD BRIDES ARE A RELIGIOUS RIGHT
"This is some real TERF shit" 🤣🤣 love your unfiltered honesty
For real though I really enjoy how you deconstruct their points in a constructive and accessible way. Hopefully this video can even help similar close-minded folks and get through to them with factual information based on science. Great video!!
Bruh… If Mrs. Doubtfire gets banned we riot.
"big breasts that are massively oversized."
when I look at the more popular queens, I do not see them nearing my size. When you look up questions on the sizes, the more popular suggestions are 4-5 cup sizes below me for the "really busty" suggestions. This is especially true for newer queens who depend more on off-the-rack fashion. you're not buying watermelons when the dresses are made for half-honeydews.
I had to explain to my dad why I, a lesbian who tends towards a masc look, can call myself Queer. But if he did, he'd get a yelling at. He's a white, cishet, Catholic. He thinks he's the oppressed one.
Your frank/candid reactions are so refreshing
They really said "you can be whatever you want" as if that were a bad thing...
As a person who grew up around fundamentalist Christianity, but didn’t get much information on it, this is so interesting. I hope some of those people have had a healing journey away from fundamentalism.
You are so right about the colonial and capitalist promotion of scarcity culture. This women are AWFUL!
I'm hearing 'If you read the Bible, you don't have to think...about anything...ever'
I love that they suggested going to the zoo, because this summer there is a huge drag story time event at the zoo in my city 😂👩🎤📚
I can tell you what IS abuse... my trans son's father intentionally dead-naming and mis-gendering our son. Intentionally. Every time they are in contact. These girls have no clue.
Fundies only care about abuse and consent violations when the behaviour going on isn't "godly." To them, there's nothing wrong with abusing and shaming someone who doesn't conform to their arbitrary lifestyle rules, as long as it makes the victim compliant.
Great video. Drag Queen Trixie Mattel made a response video to this too and it was awesome. I swear Kristin and Bethy have never so much as watched a TH-cam video of a drag queen. They know nothing. A lot of the Trixie videos I watch are of her trying to bake things in easy bake ovens or put together dollhouses lol. It's not all sexual!!
I think you make an important point about self discovery. It's like birth trauma in the sense that people don't realize that you aren't suddenly fully self realized and whole one day. It's not a function of time, but of actual effort. And so many people (myself included) are sick of it because I think we've been sold this idea that if you do x, you'll be who you are meant to be. Insert whatever you want for x -- maybe it's have kids, or have a high paying job, or climb Mt Everest. Yes, those things can help you learn something about yourself but it will never be the end-all be-all of who you are, and it only works if those goals align with your actual values.
Meaning, society forces us to believe in so much BS that we kind of unconsciously go along with only to discover once we achieve said things that it doesn't fulfill us at all. That's the classic midlife crisis, right? There's a quote I like which goes something like putting a ladder up the wrong wall just gets you to the wrong place twice as quick. Sometimes we work really hard to get to the wrong damn place.
My entertainment fantasy is for Jordan Peterson to interview girl defined and for Mickey to comment on it 🤣
I can’t tell if I’m more entertained by that idea or terrified of that happening. 😆
the very specific reference of joanna gaines decorating style had me rolling dude oh my god 🤣