Here's the thing guys. We built this attachment up in our own minds. Thinking "this is the the one". But if it didn't work out, she wasn't the one. Focus on yourself and the Universe will bring you what you need.
There are loads of times things didn’t work out, but they still are the one. Sometimes we lose the best thing because of our own actions, simply saying ‘things ended so they aren’t the one’ can often deflect from accountability. Many a time changing and becoming better with self realisation attracts that ONE back. Something i disagree with him about is, there are people who are THAT special and not everyone else is like them. If YOU as an individual are like everyone else, then yes you’ll be able to be okay with anyone else and see that no one is that special. But if you yourself know you can’t just be with just anyone and a specific person, then you’ll understand not everyone else is like the person who meshed so well with you. Obv it’s his perspective but no, not mine.
And what if you had attachment issues that you’ve worked on since the breakup (issues that led to the breakup) what if you want a second chance to make things right?
Well muggins over here 🙋♀️ has this attachment to a toxic ex. Gaslight, manipulation, lying and the rest. All in one. And yet my heart cries for her touch. Its fucked up. I hate myself so much I'd rather end it all then see her with someone else, someone who treats her exactly how I did and yet will actually accept his efforts this time. Idk why she didn't accept my. First 3 month were great, then it all changed. 4 months of pure pain, horrible gut feelings, lack of reassurance, lack of sex.. and the rest. I just wanna be able to think clearly, just for.. 5 mins. But she's there. In my head none stop. It sucks 😪
...and if you love yourself, set yourself free. Do this for yourself. The other person already doesnt care about you. The key to freedom is in your own hand or literarly head 🙂
100% it's our ego that wants to stay attached because of what the relationship could be not what it is. It has a strong need for validation and acceptance which you have to give to yourself. Don't seek your worth in other people.
Absolutely. Realizing the other person isn’t as invested, attracted or interested as you can be devastating to your ego. Letting go of that person means accepting that you were rejected/abandoned by someone you highly valued and that can be such a blow to your confidence and self-esteem. I heard somewhere that the attachment is a reflection of an unmet need in your own life that you need to learn to address without relying on another person.
I think the best advice is mentally going back into the relationship and reviewing everything, you’ll see that yeah maybe they were nice and it was good when it was good but if you look honestly you’ll see fundamentally there was something really wrong
This is not a simple topic. My two cents is to not shame yourself if you are having a hard time letting go. Letting go can take a long time, but it will eventually happen. Use the process to learn about yourself.
You didn't know who they truly were. They sold you their mask, you painted a rose colored picture, then slowly but shurely, their mask was washed off and they harsh reality was thrown at your face, and you were left there, agonizing for months, years. Understand that they are not a 100% the villain of the story, you were not paying enough attention to the signs. Love them, but let them go. Love yourself, forgive the mistakes you made, learn from them, and love again, love better, don't let the pain forget how much love you are capable of giving.❤
Nah fuck that. Lying, manipuation, possibly cheating, etc. Doesn't make them innocent especially when you've given your all and actually kept through your promises when they didn't. Keeping a mask on shouldn't ever be forgiven.
@@myselfasevan ive been split up 5 weeks, hit the bottle, painkillers the anxiety of it all is making me wanna end everything, i just want them all to go away 💔
@marcprobert1444 I'm with you . I've been going though this the past couple days. It hurts so much . They are letting us go. When we are still love with them. The memories and moments hurt
@@mermaidlu5125 I know it in my head but my heart hurts. It’s my toxic sister and now she has my granddaughter giving me the silent treatment. I am heartbroken. Christian friends say I should be happy they aren’t in my life anymore
Be careful to not alienate yourself and call every little thing toxic. If you're making everyone walk on egg shells to conform to your definition of "not toxic" you might be the toxic one.
For me letting go just leaves me alone. I can be content alone, but I don't understand these people who can let go and find something. I have to be actively searching to find something.
Yes I let them all go with zero contact. At this point though I feel nothing anymore and don't even want to try with so much effort and no return. Literally just went out to a nice restaurant on my own on a Friday night with a good book and can give zero fucks. 40 and still single and never really loved in the romantic sense sadly. I have been in therapy which has helped immensely and have so much to be thankful for from amazing health, no bad habits, creativity, world travel, no debts, high paying salary in my dream career, loving parents and friends, and lots of hobbies from my artwork to reading to film to travel. I'll probably live and die this life alone, but at least ill do so without holding onto lost hope and loving myself.
How are things looking for you? It's nice to know humans go through similar things despite being so different lol, I'm not even an adult yet. I got broken up with my one-year relationship yesterday because he wanted to "work on himself" to become a better person and it's the day after. So recent that he hasn't even removed my @ from his bio yet. He keeps saying it's for the better, but I was willing to do everything i can to stay together with him. That's when I realized that might be why-- he never felt the need to chase me because i was always chasing him. I hope i can get over this dagger in my heart before summer ends and i have to start school again. WIshing the best for everyone else in this comment section too. It's gonna hurt so much the first few weeks but learn to learn yourself.
@@ItsAllGodAnyway are you safe and on your way to healthy now? If you ever need to talk I am here, if you need to pray I am here! God bless you on your journey, you got this!!!!!
Yeah bro it’s tough. I think especially after conflating your spiritual journey with a relationship be it through concepts of “twin flame” or “soul mates” you get extra attached to this idea that you need them to fulfill your spiritual purpose when that is not the case
Exactly! I once heard someone ask a spiritual teacher if soulmates were real. He replied "God is your true soulmate". It's so true. People can come and go, but God will never leave you.
For me, it's just the fact that this person let me go for stupid reasons. I waited so long to try and find a good, loving, supportive partner... I'm 40 now and I don't know, the older I get, the more I am beginning to think true real love exists maybe only with parents (or even just yourself), other love is just a farce. If my ex thinks he can find someone prettier, kinder, etc. then so be it, I know my worth. And I know the special qualities I am able to share with someone and that's not something I take lightly, at least not anymore.
My heart goes out to you and what you went through. I know it’s not easy. Love is a bit of a farce. In my opinion, most humans aren’t evolved enough to truly love another. Most of us haven’t even accepted ourselves fully. That’s why we’re still bouncing around from person to person like apes.
@@myselfasevan A lot of people are judgemental these days, including those I sadly got close to. Even people I WASN'T able to get close to. They were not only SELFISH in their ways, but yeah, judge left and right. It's SADLY become the norm (not to mention POPULAR) to do that, and to be a bad person. People have become too much in my (non-humble) opinion. They judge as if they are more perfect than you or better than you. Arrogant!
I think the point is to grow into love through the creation of family which is passed on through parent-child. Romance and s3xual passion aside from this important part are essentially meaningless because it does not fulfill what’s it’s ultimate end is meant to be.
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. Only hate the road when you're missing home Only know you love em when you let em go And you let em go 👌🏾
I went through a breakup a few months ago. We were together 7 years. I was extremely attached and codependent. Needless to say it was very difficult and emotionally jarring. BUT I’ve grown so much from it. I’ve regained my independence and realized I never want to feel that dependent on another person for my needs ever again. I feel much more secure in myself. And currently casually dating another person but decided to take a break since they admitted they were getting attached and I feel just fine because I know I will be ok without anyone else.
I needed this. Was broken up with 2 weeks ago, and have been virtually housebound since, feel like my body is shutting down from the pain. I can't stop thinking about this person, but I know I must let them go in order to be truly free, that there's no going back. I realise this person would never get back together with me anyway, so what's the point in fantasy, but I cling to it anyway. Looking forward to finally being free.
Did that for 7 (4 years is also a *very* long time!!), and let me tell you woman to woman, deciding the last time was going to be *the last*, was the best decision I’ve ever made. If I could go back and tell my younger self how much healthier, and freer I feel now, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Just make sure to stay strong when they reach back out (bc they will)!! Change your # if it’s easier, block on everything else, eyes forward love.
I’m going through the same emotion, I feel betrayed, and want to be the one to dump her. But at the end of the day, she was toxic. I feel sometimes getting her back would be the last thing that I want; but other times, it just feels like why couldn’t this work! It’s so frustrating when it takes a chunk of your energy, focus & time!
Once I fell really badly for one guy. It was just a fling for him, but I fell head over heels. A total catastrophe for me. I went to school I thought of him, I went out with friends I thought of him, I ate I thought of him, etc. And all I could see was, that he didnt care anymore at all. I was realistic about that. I served myself the truth. I could count on: he is not interrested, he doesnt care, he will never call me again and probably hes onto the next one and there is nothing I can do. And that was it. I was free.
@@varuntripathi8712 Until your comment I didnt know that what I had experienced was a chadstruck 😂 I just wanted to paint a picture that there is way out- the truth taken in rather brutal way.
What your saying is so true. But 22 years together and I feel I wasted a good portion of my life. That he could act like we never existed. And litterly just break my heart.
What’s helping me but it’s hard still. “ Life is an experience and people are experiences too, it’s only right to move on to allow yourself to experience someone new who will truly align with what you bring to yourself and to the table period” 🙏🏽
Been married for 3 years. Been with this person for a total of 6 years. It hurts a lot to even say it: it is over. There is no more future. It will never be. But it is the right thing to do. Yes, we can argue that things might change in the future. We might end up together in the end. But what good will it do to you now? If you don't let them go, you'll never know if they were really meant to be for you. Let them go. It hurts. But truly let them go. Let all the possibilities of you being together go. Let it die. Let it rot. Things has to die first before you are reborn again. As Viola Davis once said, you are your own greatest love.
My ex didn't even bother to break up with me he just cut me off completely without any explanation. It wasn't a good relationship, but the way he ended it hurt because I didn't get closure. This video helps a little thank you
The reason it is so painful to detach from those we connect with is because we are not meant to be so separated from tribe. Detschment is glorified when it is actually remarkable toxic to not be able to deeply connect and live our lives with people we can trust and rely on. Perpetuation of this glorification is toxic.
No, thats in your head. It hurts because of the ego and the fear. The man says detach after a breakup. Not to be cooler. No glorification. Stop your mental gymnastics to feel better when longing for someone who does not want you. It will do you no good in the long run.
I think the solution is found in Unconditional selflove. If we know how to truely love, then we will be at peace when they do not want us anymore or when we are no longer happy together because we want the best for both. Its still gonna be painful, but because you let go from a place of love its probably easier. The reason who now it is hard for many people is because their selfworh and selflove are dependent on another person loving them. Whatya think?
Watching this video amidst my heartbreak brings a sense of understanding and comfort. Every day feels like a struggle, filled with tears and sleepless nights haunted by nightmares. I never imagined I'd face such pain, but here I am, trying to find strength. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to let go, even when it feels impossible
It's not the pain of them leaving for me. It's the pain of feeling like I was with someone I never really knew. Someone I thought was my best friend and my partner, someone I could confide in. It's hard to accept someone dropping you in the blink of an eye after having been through so much together.
Wow! I felt literally had knife stuck in my heart. Now I'm going strong. I hope he heals too cuz hes not bad person, we have both issues that needs to heal.❤❤❤❤
I feel this comment because I can say the same thing with me and my ex girlfriend. Despite the flaws, she wasn't a bad person. It just was the wrong time and I made great memories with the wrong person and I had to learn to live with that. That's how I gained my happiness and peace back
It’s the most difficult when the people you want to let go is your mother and brother. If it’s intimate partner you don’t have to see that person ever again if choose not to. But it if it’s your family it’s doubly hard.
I got no closure. 10 weeks today i texted him how his actions are hurtful. He saw message and never got back. 17 months together never did anything like this. I wasnt nasty. I was there for him when his mom got sick then died. I gave him money, groceries to help take stress off. Hes not a mean person. Never was he nasty to me. But this ingoring me for 10 weeks still shocks me. Im confused . Lost. Empty. And absolutely hurt. Thought he loved me..
This resonates with me as well. Things seemed wonderful at first: so communicative and affectionate; then, all of the sudden, I tell her how I feel about a couple issues that really weren't a big deal, and, boom, gone. Ignored. Blocked. It hurts, but I'd like to think my future self will be thankful. It will all make sense.
17 months is NOT insignificant. That would really hurt for sure. I think the hardest part for you will be wondering how it could come out of nowhere and how it could be such a slap in the face. To be ignored is nasty for sure. I would chock it up to him not being capable of communicating. Not being able to get in touch with his emotions. I believe you can take this as a growth / lesson experience as well. It can't be for nothing - and what you learned can help you in the future. Just know that you can attract a much better relationship by not judging the old one negatively. If you see it for what it is, the next one will not be like that if you identify how it could have been a reflection of you. Not to judge yourself negatively. Just see it for what it is.
If you were married this looks different. Every guru telling you to detach trust me allow yourself to grieve as long as it takes even if it’s years. Don’t beat yourself up in the least. Detachment works when you were not covenantly attached. Meaning if it was a boyfriend or girlfriend. If they were your spouse it will take time. Heal, therapy, one step infront of the other at a time. Small wins like making your bed, feeding yourself wholesome food, get sunlight, journal, cry, cry some more then some more. Show yourself grace and compassion because it’s not easy. You will heal and then the detachment will come. ❤
This is very good advice. You have to decide 100 per cent it is not them and let them go, mourn. It can be hard to face the truth when the other person has constructed themself as a lie that they’ve presented as truth but once you see it, keep hold of that and don’t go back! You are worthy of being free and better will come once the blockage from that old energy is removed. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤
You are so right on so many levels! The truth does hurt especially when you know that this person doesn't feel the same about you. Smh. Like I already knew this, but for some reason, the way you spoke just resonated with me more. You sounded very honest and gentle 😊 Thank you!
Thanks so much! Especially if the person is still married but separated. He was never emotionally available. Life is short, it's time and it's just a matter of time to feel better. Happiness can only be found inside yourself, not in other people.
I've been watching a lot of these kinds of videos lately. But this particular one hit home for me in such a clear and concise way and I'm very thankful I found it. Thank you for these words!
thanks man, really needed to hear this right now..... i was only with her 3 months, she had BPD and I was alone for 16 years before I met her. I cannot handle cruel people
I stumbled upon this video at a time when my world feels like it's falling apart. Going through this breakup has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. Each day is a battle, filled with overwhelming sadness, tears that seem endless, and nights where sleep is replaced by nightmares. I never imagined I'd be in this place, feeling this broken, but here I am, trying to navigate through the pain. This video has given me a glimmer of hope, a reminder that it's okay to let go, even when it feels like I'm losing a part of myself. Letting go of someone I once loved deeply is heart-wrenching, and the thought of moving forward seems impossible. But hearing these words, feeling the empathy and understanding behind them, brings a small measure of comfort. To anyone else who might be reading this and feeling the same way, know that you're not alone. We're all trying to heal, to find our way out of the darkness. Let's hold on to the promise that, in time, we will be okay. Thank you to the creator of this video for providing solace in such a raw and vulnerable moment.
Was married for 19 years to my “dream girl” or so I thought. What helped me was reflecting back and journaling. I realized that I was holding onto something that was imaginary: the marriage was far from perfect, she was far from perfect, and I had to grieve what I thought I lost. Yes, it took a long time because we were together for 21+ years with kids but eventually I realized I was mourning something that never really existed. Journal and revisit your writing will help you gain perspective.
Amen, sometimes we have to just let go and let God. Some relationships just aren’t meant to be, and we have to accept that and move on. There may be someone out there God has for us! We just have to wait on Him and let go of the old!
Bless you mate for this video. The energy emanating from you is type of pub therapy vibe that I needed after breaking up with someone I had been with for over 4 years. Time to keep my chin up and look ahead.
The problem is, i cant stop thinking about him, cause we study at the same university and i meet him every day. We have the same friend group and i love my friends. It hurts to distance myself more than just accepting this pain everyday. The thought of never seeing him again in a few years hurts aswell. I think it would be a tiny bit easier if i wouldnt see and recieve messages of him everyday. I have no clue what to do... thanks for your words. I think they would help if i could distance myself
It’s been really hard and painful to move on, but I’m finally doing it and cutting her out of my life. What really hurts is the way she went about it by ghosting me… that tells me everything that I need to know. She’s now blocked too, as she reached out lately which is really unfair and brings up the raw emotions. I didn’t reply and feel so much better for it. Every day that passes now gets better and I wonder what I even saw in her to begin. Thanks for the advice
I'm telling you bro i know a handful of people who never experience heartbreak in their life they don't know anything about how to detach, they met 1 person & stay with that person until death, buddy of mine has been married to the 1st woman he met for 27 years now Having said that, nowadays with these current generations it's becoming more rare
After 14 months with my live-in boyfriend, I found out he was cheating on me the whole time with his "ex-gf". We called each other our soulmates, our person, we were so close, more than any relationship in my life. But I had to walk away because I knew he would never change and that he was actually a covert narcissist. I'm 49...I don't think I can do this anymore. Trust of men is gone. Too many damaged people and temptations...porn, social media, etc.
I can only hope it feels better. It's been 10 years and my ex still plays over in my head, I'm messed up- and no therapy has fixed me. I just accept I may always be this way. I let them go awhile ago. Some people rebound in a week. Try ten years. I am free. I am good. I am love- this is my philosophy now. I'm grateful for a lot in my life. I'm grateful for my body and its patience.
sending much love to you in your journey currently letting go of the one i love the most and what hurts about it is they love me back we just do not know how to be together peacefully. ❤️🩹
@@hbk2akajoker I felt that. My partner and I are similar- we love each other but our lives do not match and neither of us did good trying to do better. Thank you we will heal🙏✨ much love to you
Wow, 10 fricking years. I can't even imagine myself in that spot. She dumped me 3 weeks ago to be with someone else, I fear that I will never find someone like her. I barely function and it hurts like hell. I don't know how to move on, I want her back even if she is with someone else and can't stop these thoughts.
@@ferit7418 dude I feel you. It's the hardest feeling to cope with. I've dated since but nobody has fit the same, which makes the missing part harder. I feel strong now, I do have dreams tho still. You've got to love yourself during these times and know that there is someone out there who is searching for you just as much. Time heals, peace
@@coolbaj Man, I'm literally a mess. And hearing that so long you didnt find someone that made you happy like her doubles my anxiety. I'm trying so hard to heal but knowing she is with someone else, got over me and forgot me and knowing there wont be another chance and there is absolutely no one like her in the world is heartbreaking. I don't see an exit from this.
The funny thing is that I do this while I am still in the relationship dealing with the person messing up it all. It saves you from tears and when you are actually out it's a relief.
I feel like I'm still getting over the attachment and the grief of losing my best friend and the woman I was with last year this time around we were best friends for about 5 years previously, started a year-long relationship moved in together then a year later she tells me she wants a break and to move out to give her space so I did that we were still hanging out a bit on the side so I thought maybe we could work on it or maybe be friends. Still, she ended up ghosting me and never talking to me again it devastated me cause I did everything I could to be the best person I could to her and be there for her then she did that to me ... I know I have to move on cause it's hurting me. Still, my self-confidence, and my own struggles I deal with just made me feel 100 times worse about life It's been a rough year of moving on I know I'm only 28 and I have more life to live .. I just don't understand why in the past i was able to move on from past relationships but then here its an ongoing struggle to move on and try to forget I just thought me and her would go far ... Thanks for this video I appreciate the advice Evan
I convinced my ex to break up with a guy that cheated on her and claimed to not be in love with him anymore. We talked for a month before she finally left him. We then moved very fast and things were great. We talked about getting married and having kids. I truly felt she was the one. She broke up with me through a text because she was to cowardly to have a real conversation about it. I later found out she ended up with her ex again. I held on for so long even after I found this out. I may still have a little bit lingering but I’m glad I’m finally letting go. I have to keep reminding myself because my life is very hard without her but towards the end she put me down in many ways and would never want to talk about anything hard. Wish she wasn’t like that and things worked out but I have come to accept that’s who she is. I even wished her well with her and the guy she left me for because I do love her. I can’t keep living like this so I’m deciding to let her go out of my mind. I do feel a weight starting to lift. Thanks for the video
You were a temporary rebound. I was in your position once too, exactly that. You thought it was actually you two who were meant for each other, and they just run straight back to their ex. They never cared about us, we were a temporary filler for them. That's why they dip so fast. Sorry man...
Powerful advice on detachment and moving on-it's often a painful yet liberating journey. Embracing the process and allowing oneself to feel the emotions fully can pave the way for new beginnings and personal growth. 🔑
@R-Will I'm sorry. I hope you guys can save your marriage. Adultery in any form is a gashing wound that is hard to heal. I wish you and your family the best. ❤
Someone I kno rejected coming back in my life and it hurts but if u love them respect their wishes what’s meant to be will happen no matter what ..trust in the universe
this man is 100% correct.. u will only find better if you fully let go.... i was with a guy for 3 years, when he dumped me i was SO SURE he was the one. i was like no i dont want anyone else. him or no one... took me 8 months to get over him... then i met a realllllllly amazing guy. 10000000 times more better. a man i NEVER dreamt of having. i was with him for only 1.5, he actually dumped me about 3 weeks ago.. and i know that i will keep on finding better.
After all the hurt that person caused me, I wouldn’t be able to take them back even if he wanted to. I’m not having fantasies of being back together for a long time now. But the pain is still inside my body and mind. “How was it possible for him to treat me like that?” “How could I love a person like that?” And the most deep feeling that I’m not worthy of love or being treated simply adequately. And a lot of other questions and feelings. And there is so much shit out there that it is highly likely that another attempt with another person will lead to the same outcome or worse. So I don’t even want anyone else either. I just want to stop feeling so much pain and get out of that mind prison after 5 years now and I’m probably simply not smart or strong enough to figure out how to do it. I’m just getting worn off and agonizing
You need to allow yourself to feel the pain in your body without resistance. Please check some of my videos on the “Letting Go Technique” which talks about this. The only way to release that pain is feel it.
Guided meditation for Letting Go:
th-cam.com/video/w3wUwJt-f-M/w-d-xo.htmlsi=08arSyneySGvU_pl
Here's the thing guys. We built this attachment up in our own minds. Thinking "this is the the one". But if it didn't work out, she wasn't the one. Focus on yourself and the Universe will bring you what you need.
Men date equal or above them, never below. My ex somehow thought I was below 😞. Oh well, that is all relative fortunately.
@@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858 it's not a competition
There are loads of times things didn’t work out, but they still are the one. Sometimes we lose the best thing because of our own actions, simply saying ‘things ended so they aren’t the one’ can often deflect from accountability. Many a time changing and becoming better with self realisation attracts that ONE back.
Something i disagree with him about is, there are people who are THAT special and not everyone else is like them. If YOU as an individual are like everyone else, then yes you’ll be able to be okay with anyone else and see that no one is that special. But if you yourself know you can’t just be with just anyone and a specific person, then you’ll understand not everyone else is like the person who meshed so well with you. Obv it’s his perspective but no, not mine.
And what if you had attachment issues that you’ve worked on since the breakup (issues that led to the breakup) what if you want a second chance to make things right?
Well muggins over here 🙋♀️ has this attachment to a toxic ex. Gaslight, manipulation, lying and the rest. All in one. And yet my heart cries for her touch. Its fucked up. I hate myself so much I'd rather end it all then see her with someone else, someone who treats her exactly how I did and yet will actually accept his efforts this time. Idk why she didn't accept my. First 3 month were great, then it all changed. 4 months of pure pain, horrible gut feelings, lack of reassurance, lack of sex.. and the rest. I just wanna be able to think clearly, just for.. 5 mins. But she's there. In my head none stop. It sucks 😪
"you can't let go of someone who is already gone."
or someone, who was never really there
"If you love somebody set them free"
If they come back , don’t take them back , no body wants them 😂😂😂😂
@@Sustainablewealth777 I needed this!!! lol thank you
@@Sustainablewealth777 what if they dont come back means theres soneone who wants them ?
...and if you love yourself, set yourself free. Do this for yourself. The other person already doesnt care about you. The key to freedom is in your own hand or literarly head 🙂
@@user-ik1xe9hs8l sometimes they are too proud to come back , so they suffer in silence
100% it's our ego that wants to stay attached because of what the relationship could be not what it is. It has a strong need for validation and acceptance which you have to give to yourself. Don't seek your worth in other people.
Absolutely. Realizing the other person isn’t as invested, attracted or interested as you can be devastating to your ego. Letting go of that person means accepting that you were rejected/abandoned by someone you highly valued and that can be such a blow to your confidence and self-esteem. I heard somewhere that the attachment is a reflection of an unmet need in your own life that you need to learn to address without relying on another person.
Even if its your parents :(
This is the best explanation by far
@@pizzelle2 That's right; it's called 'Attachment Theory'.
I would say self esteem, not ego.
It’s so hard receiving mixed signals from them.
When that starts happening I show them my back- respect yourself and they will too
I’m glad I saw this comment because mixed signals is a no and that’s what I needed to hear to❤
That’s what happened to me. And then they wanted to play victim and act like they didn’t do anything.
Those mixed signals are a HUGE signal that they don’t want you.
@@ardenislandright.
I think the best advice is mentally going back into the relationship and reviewing everything, you’ll see that yeah maybe they were nice and it was good when it was good but if you look honestly you’ll see fundamentally there was something really wrong
But it's hard to put myself out there again, but I'll do what I have to do .
Tell 'em!
Agree!!! When you look back you realize that you are just missing the good memories and not thinking about the bad times that caused you to break up.
@@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858Stay alone…aren’t you much happier single like most humans?
This is not a simple topic. My two cents is to not shame yourself if you are having a hard time letting go. Letting go can take a long time, but it will eventually happen. Use the process to learn about yourself.
Bien dicho.. well said
Bien dicho... well said
That is correct
This is so true
You didn't know who they truly were. They sold you their mask, you painted a rose colored picture, then slowly but shurely, their mask was washed off and they harsh reality was thrown at your face, and you were left there, agonizing for months, years. Understand that they are not a 100% the villain of the story, you were not paying enough attention to the signs.
Love them, but let them go. Love yourself, forgive the mistakes you made, learn from them, and love again, love better, don't let the pain forget how much love you are capable of giving.❤
Nah fuck that. Lying, manipuation, possibly cheating, etc. Doesn't make them innocent especially when you've given your all and actually kept through your promises when they didn't. Keeping a mask on shouldn't ever be forgiven.
Thank you this helps me a lot
@@DwightLivesMattersounds like a narcissist n your right ✅
Thank you so much for this ❤
bro, its so hard.
I know brother.. i know. Stay strong.
Yes bro ...Stay strong
@@myselfasevan ive been split up 5 weeks, hit the bottle, painkillers the anxiety of it all is making me wanna end everything, i just want them all to go away 💔
@marcprobert1444 I'm with you . I've been going though this the past couple days. It hurts so much .
They are letting us go.
When we are still love with them.
The memories and moments hurt
@@mrovalle231 im going thro the no contact stage and its absolutely killing me
Let go of family and toxic friends too .
Yup
Hard to let go of a toxic person when they are family that you love so much
@@jennaletizia5430 what ? If family loves you they wouldn’t be toxic
@@mermaidlu5125 I know it in my head but my heart hurts. It’s my toxic sister and now she has my granddaughter giving me the silent treatment. I am heartbroken. Christian friends say I should be happy they aren’t in my life anymore
Be careful to not alienate yourself and call every little thing toxic. If you're making everyone walk on egg shells to conform to your definition of "not toxic" you might be the toxic one.
"Attached for years..." That's me... Irregardless of all the hurt.
Letting go gave me the love of my life
Wow u give me hope
For me letting go just leaves me alone. I can be content alone, but I don't understand these people who can let go and find something. I have to be actively searching to find something.
Yes I let them all go with zero contact. At this point though I feel nothing anymore and don't even want to try with so much effort and no return. Literally just went out to a nice restaurant on my own on a Friday night with a good book and can give zero fucks. 40 and still single and never really loved in the romantic sense sadly. I have been in therapy which has helped immensely and have so much to be thankful for from amazing health, no bad habits, creativity, world travel, no debts, high paying salary in my dream career, loving parents and friends, and lots of hobbies from my artwork to reading to film to travel. I'll probably live and die this life alone, but at least ill do so without holding onto lost hope and loving myself.
I’m immortal, I’ll live alone for all eternity 🔥
Sounds awesome that's why I been focusing on myself and my passions
My uncle said to me some time ago that you have to worry about yourself,very true words.
How are things looking for you? It's nice to know humans go through similar things despite being so different lol, I'm not even an adult yet. I got broken up with my one-year relationship yesterday because he wanted to "work on himself" to become a better person and it's the day after. So recent that he hasn't even removed my @ from his bio yet. He keeps saying it's for the better, but I was willing to do everything i can to stay together with him. That's when I realized that might be why-- he never felt the need to chase me because i was always chasing him. I hope i can get over this dagger in my heart before summer ends and i have to start school again. WIshing the best for everyone else in this comment section too. It's gonna hurt so much the first few weeks but learn to learn yourself.
Hold on you said high paying salary?….hey boo❤
It’s hard after 5 years, a waste of 5 years. But it’s also freeing to no longer be a slave to the abuse…
Better than 26 years 🙏🏻💛😘
@@ItsAllGodAnyway are you safe and on your way to healthy now? If you ever need to talk I am here, if you need to pray I am here! God bless you on your journey, you got this!!!!!
@@ItsAllGodAnywayholy shit, you wasted like 50% of your life then 😂
holy cow 5 years??!!
@@ridababar59 5 years isn’t too bad! Considering someone else lost 25! I should sit down and be quiet… lol
I realise all you're saying is true but it doesn't make it any easier on the heart 😢
Yeah bro it’s tough. I think especially after conflating your spiritual journey with a relationship be it through concepts of “twin flame” or “soul mates” you get extra attached to this idea that you need them to fulfill your spiritual purpose when that is not the case
That’s a really good point!
Exactly!
I once heard someone ask a spiritual teacher if soulmates were real. He replied "God is your true soulmate". It's so true. People can come and go, but God will never leave you.
Yeah that’s BS tbh 😅
For me, it's just the fact that this person let me go for stupid reasons. I waited so long to try and find a good, loving, supportive partner... I'm 40 now and I don't know, the older I get, the more I am beginning to think true real love exists maybe only with parents (or even just yourself), other love is just a farce. If my ex thinks he can find someone prettier, kinder, etc. then so be it, I know my worth. And I know the special qualities I am able to share with someone and that's not something I take lightly, at least not anymore.
My heart goes out to you and what you went through. I know it’s not easy. Love is a bit of a farce. In my opinion, most humans aren’t evolved enough to truly love another. Most of us haven’t even accepted ourselves fully. That’s why we’re still bouncing around from person to person like apes.
@@myselfasevan A lot of people are judgemental these days, including those I sadly got close to. Even people I WASN'T able to get close to. They were not only SELFISH in their ways, but yeah, judge left and right. It's SADLY become the norm (not to mention POPULAR) to do that, and to be a bad person. People have become too much in my (non-humble) opinion. They judge as if they are more perfect than you or better than you. Arrogant!
I’m older than you and I completely understand and agree with what you are saying
I think the point is to grow into love through the creation of family which is passed on through parent-child. Romance and s3xual passion aside from this important part are essentially meaningless because it does not fulfill what’s it’s ultimate end is meant to be.
i am 27 and i think its over for me
Your love makes them special, without your love, they are just shadow
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low.
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love em when you let em go
And you let em go 👌🏾
I can hear your comment haha
I went through a breakup a few months ago. We were together 7 years. I was extremely attached and codependent. Needless to say it was very difficult and emotionally jarring. BUT I’ve grown so much from it. I’ve regained my independence and realized I never want to feel that dependent on another person for my needs ever again. I feel much more secure in myself. And currently casually dating another person but decided to take a break since they admitted they were getting attached and I feel just fine because I know I will be ok without anyone else.
I have been crying through this video
That actually is a good thing.. let it all go
I needed this. Was broken up with 2 weeks ago, and have been virtually housebound since, feel like my body is shutting down from the pain. I can't stop thinking about this person, but I know I must let them go in order to be truly free, that there's no going back. I realise this person would never get back together with me anyway, so what's the point in fantasy, but I cling to it anyway. Looking forward to finally being free.
You will get there. The first few weeks will be the hardest. It gets easier as time goes on.. keep letting it go.
❤
Be patient with yourself, give it a few months!
Hope you’re doing well now 🥺
❤❤❤❤
Thank you ❤ just last night I realized after 4 years of “off and on” that I need to let go, he will never be with me.
Don’t look back. Keep walking. I wish you all the best
Did that for 7 (4 years is also a *very* long time!!), and let me tell you woman to woman, deciding the last time was going to be *the last*, was the best decision I’ve ever made. If I could go back and tell my younger self how much healthier, and freer I feel now, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Just make sure to stay strong when they reach back out (bc they will)!! Change your # if it’s easier, block on everything else, eyes forward love.
I’m going through the same emotion, I feel betrayed, and want to be the one to dump her. But at the end of the day, she was toxic. I feel sometimes getting her back would be the last thing that I want; but other times, it just feels like why couldn’t this work!
It’s so frustrating when it takes a chunk of your energy, focus & time!
Once I fell really badly for one guy. It was just a fling for him, but I fell head over heels. A total catastrophe for me. I went to school I thought of him, I went out with friends I thought of him, I ate I thought of him, etc. And all I could see was, that he didnt care anymore at all. I was realistic about that.
I served myself the truth. I could count on: he is not interrested, he doesnt care, he will never call me again and probably hes onto the next one and there is nothing I can do. And that was it. I was free.
Too many words for chadstruck.
@@varuntripathi8712 Until your comment I didnt know that what I had experienced was a chadstruck 😂
I just wanted to paint a picture that there is way out- the truth taken in rather brutal way.
What your saying is so true. But 22 years together and I feel I wasted a good portion of my life. That he could act like we never existed. And litterly just break my heart.
Going thru the same thing..but 21 years.He just left me yesterday
@@carolsealey538 I'm so sorry
@@Rinesmyth thank you
This !
What’s helping me but it’s hard still. “ Life is an experience and people are experiences too, it’s only right to move on to allow yourself to experience someone new who will truly align with what you bring to yourself and to the table period” 🙏🏽
Been married for 3 years. Been with this person for a total of 6 years. It hurts a lot to even say it: it is over. There is no more future. It will never be.
But it is the right thing to do. Yes, we can argue that things might change in the future. We might end up together in the end. But what good will it do to you now? If you don't let them go, you'll never know if they were really meant to be for you.
Let them go. It hurts. But truly let them go. Let all the possibilities of you being together go. Let it die. Let it rot.
Things has to die first before you are reborn again. As Viola Davis once said, you are your own greatest love.
I asked for a sign , and your video popped up. So I know what to do . Painful but true . Much love to all out there going through this ❤
I sign for us to chat?
It hurts for sure. But every day gets better
i didnt understand this
This is the best advice on breakups I’ve seen. Just feel the grief. Set yourself free.
Everytime i get myself into a depressive rutt over my current breakup I'm going to watch this video. Thank you.
My ex didn't even bother to break up with me he just cut me off completely without any explanation. It wasn't a good relationship, but the way he ended it hurt because I didn't get closure. This video helps a little thank you
He didn’t have the skills or maturity to tell you why- it sucks, but it’s another reason to let him go
This happened to me when I talked to this one female I was I to and she just ghosted me and I never heard from her again
This happened to me too. Worst kind of cesspool humans there is.
The reason it is so painful to detach from those we connect with is because we are not meant to be so separated from tribe. Detschment is glorified when it is actually remarkable toxic to not be able to deeply connect and live our lives with people we can trust and rely on. Perpetuation of this glorification is toxic.
Girl🙄🤐
No, thats in your head. It hurts because of the ego and the fear. The man says detach after a breakup. Not to be cooler. No glorification. Stop your mental gymnastics to feel better when longing for someone who does not want you. It will do you no good in the long run.
Man why’s this mad so underrated when he’s the only one who made me feel good about my breakup
You value that person 10x but but actually they are -x , give time everything will be ok 👍 good work bro love from 🇮🇳 india
I think the solution is found in
Unconditional selflove.
If we know how to truely love, then we will be at peace when they do not want us anymore or when we are no longer happy together because we want the best for both.
Its still gonna be painful, but because you let go from a place of love its probably easier.
The reason who now it is hard for many people is because their selfworh and selflove are dependent on another person loving them.
Whatya think?
Watching this video amidst my heartbreak brings a sense of understanding and comfort. Every day feels like a struggle, filled with tears and sleepless nights haunted by nightmares. I never imagined I'd face such pain, but here I am, trying to find strength. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to let go, even when it feels impossible
Painful yes...but reattach successfully can occur.
It's not the pain of them leaving for me. It's the pain of feeling like I was with someone I never really knew. Someone I thought was my best friend and my partner, someone I could confide in. It's hard to accept someone dropping you in the blink of an eye after having been through so much together.
Wow! I felt literally had knife stuck in my heart. Now I'm going strong. I hope he heals too cuz hes not bad person, we have both issues that needs to heal.❤❤❤❤
I feel this comment because I can say the same thing with me and my ex girlfriend. Despite the flaws, she wasn't a bad person. It just was the wrong time and I made great memories with the wrong person and I had to learn to live with that. That's how I gained my happiness and peace back
It’s the most difficult when the people you want to let go is your mother and brother. If it’s intimate partner you don’t have to see that person ever again if choose not to. But it if it’s your family it’s doubly hard.
If you love a flower, you don't pick it. You water it.
You leave it where it is, shine brighter, and let them bask.
I got no closure. 10 weeks today i texted him how his actions are hurtful. He saw message and never got back. 17 months together never did anything like this. I wasnt nasty. I was there for him when his mom got sick then died. I gave him money, groceries to help take stress off. Hes not a mean person. Never was he nasty to me. But this ingoring me for 10 weeks still shocks me. Im confused . Lost. Empty. And absolutely hurt. Thought he loved me..
Babe 17 months is nothing …seems you dodged a bullet there before things got really intense
This resonates with me as well. Things seemed wonderful at first: so communicative and affectionate; then, all of the sudden, I tell her how I feel about a couple issues that really weren't a big deal, and, boom, gone. Ignored. Blocked. It hurts, but I'd like to think my future self will be thankful. It will all make sense.
@@steverambo-rx7 she just ignored you? How long has she not communicated ?
17 months is NOT insignificant. That would really hurt for sure. I think the hardest part for you will be wondering how it could come out of nowhere and how it could be such a slap in the face. To be ignored is nasty for sure. I would chock it up to him not being capable of communicating. Not being able to get in touch with his emotions. I believe you can take this as a growth / lesson experience as well. It can't be for nothing - and what you learned can help you in the future. Just know that you can attract a much better relationship by not judging the old one negatively. If you see it for what it is, the next one will not be like that if you identify how it could have been a reflection of you. Not to judge yourself negatively. Just see it for what it is.
If you were married this looks different. Every guru telling you to detach trust me allow yourself to grieve as long as it takes even if it’s years. Don’t beat yourself up in the least. Detachment works when you were not covenantly attached. Meaning if it was a boyfriend or girlfriend. If they were your spouse it will take time. Heal, therapy, one step infront of the other at a time. Small wins like making your bed, feeding yourself wholesome food, get sunlight, journal, cry, cry some more then some more. Show yourself grace and compassion because it’s not easy. You will heal and then the detachment will come. ❤
this couldn’t have showed up in my recommended at a better time. thank you for making this video dawg. much love.
Jesus loves every single one of ya'll so much...
This is the video I need to listen each day the moment I wake up before I do anything else.
I know i struggle with this and im trying and leaning on jesus to help me break soul ties that are not healthy for my soul
the getting the last word in to feel like you rejected them is so real yet feels so toxic lmao, helps me keep my peace tho so wtv works
This is very good advice. You have to decide 100 per cent it is not them and let them go, mourn. It can be hard to face the truth when the other person has constructed themself as a lie that they’ve presented as truth but once you see it, keep hold of that and don’t go back! You are worthy of being free and better will come once the blockage from that old energy is removed. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤
You are so right on so many levels! The truth does hurt especially when you know that this person doesn't feel the same about you. Smh. Like I already knew this, but for some reason, the way you spoke just resonated with me more. You sounded very honest and gentle 😊 Thank you!
Thanks so much! Especially if the person is still married but separated. He was never emotionally available. Life is short, it's time and it's just a matter of time to feel better. Happiness can only be found inside yourself, not in other people.
You’re right but it still hurts to think about it.
I've been watching a lot of these kinds of videos lately. But this particular one hit home for me in such a clear and concise way and I'm very thankful I found it. Thank you for these words!
Damn... Best advice I have seen so far from this topic. By far! Thanks man
thanks man, really needed to hear this right now..... i was only with her 3 months, she had BPD and I was alone for 16 years before I met her. I cannot handle cruel people
I stumbled upon this video at a time when my world feels like it's falling apart. Going through this breakup has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. Each day is a battle, filled with overwhelming sadness, tears that seem endless, and nights where sleep is replaced by nightmares. I never imagined I'd be in this place, feeling this broken, but here I am, trying to navigate through the pain.
This video has given me a glimmer of hope, a reminder that it's okay to let go, even when it feels like I'm losing a part of myself. Letting go of someone I once loved deeply is heart-wrenching, and the thought of moving forward seems impossible. But hearing these words, feeling the empathy and understanding behind them, brings a small measure of comfort.
To anyone else who might be reading this and feeling the same way, know that you're not alone. We're all trying to heal, to find our way out of the darkness. Let's hold on to the promise that, in time, we will be okay. Thank you to the creator of this video for providing solace in such a raw and vulnerable moment.
Thank you! I needed this message so much! Your video popped up today! 🙏🏻 ❤ 🕊
Was married for 19 years to my “dream girl” or so I thought. What helped me was reflecting back and journaling. I realized that I was holding onto something that was imaginary: the marriage was far from perfect, she was far from perfect, and I had to grieve what I thought I lost.
Yes, it took a long time because we were together for 21+ years with kids but eventually I realized I was mourning something that never really existed. Journal and revisit your writing will help you gain perspective.
This was so well said and a great reminder and explanation. Thank you for this video. My algorithm did good!!
Thank you Evan. This healed a part of me.
I let him go a decade ago. I never got over it.
Thank you for this, I'm letting go ,it's a slow pain but your right I've gotta do it 😢
Amen, sometimes we have to just let go and let God. Some relationships just aren’t meant to be, and we have to accept that and move on. There may be someone out there God has for us! We just have to wait on Him and let go of the old!
Thank you Evan for this video and your advice. Very helpful and encouraging.
Bless you mate for this video. The energy emanating from you is type of pub therapy vibe that I needed after breaking up with someone I had been with for over 4 years. Time to keep my chin up and look ahead.
man...i needed to hear this.Thank you
The problem is, i cant stop thinking about him, cause we study at the same university and i meet him every day. We have the same friend group and i love my friends. It hurts to distance myself more than just accepting this pain everyday. The thought of never seeing him again in a few years hurts aswell. I think it would be a tiny bit easier if i wouldnt see and recieve messages of him everyday. I have no clue what to do... thanks for your words. I think they would help if i could distance myself
It’s been really hard and painful to move on, but I’m finally doing it and cutting her out of my life. What really hurts is the way she went about it by ghosting me… that tells me everything that I need to know. She’s now blocked too, as she reached out lately which is really unfair and brings up the raw emotions. I didn’t reply and feel so much better for it. Every day that passes now gets better and I wonder what I even saw in her to begin. Thanks for the advice
I'm telling you bro i know a handful of people who never experience heartbreak in their life they don't know anything about how to detach, they met 1 person & stay with that person until death, buddy of mine has been married to the 1st woman he met for 27 years now
Having said that, nowadays with these current generations it's becoming more rare
Just thank you. You are real. You give good advice my heart was so heavy until i watched this. So thank you i really appreciate that
After 14 months with my live-in boyfriend, I found out he was cheating on me the whole time with his "ex-gf". We called each other our soulmates, our person, we were so close, more than any relationship in my life. But I had to walk away because I knew he would never change and that he was actually a covert narcissist. I'm 49...I don't think I can do this anymore. Trust of men is gone. Too many damaged people and temptations...porn, social media, etc.
I can only hope it feels better. It's been 10 years and my ex still plays over in my head, I'm messed up- and no therapy has fixed me. I just accept I may always be this way. I let them go awhile ago. Some people rebound in a week. Try ten years. I am free. I am good. I am love- this is my philosophy now. I'm grateful for a lot in my life. I'm grateful for my body and its patience.
sending much love to you in your journey
currently letting go of the one i love the most and what hurts about it is they love me back we just do not know how to be together peacefully. ❤️🩹
@@hbk2akajoker I felt that. My partner and I are similar- we love each other but our lives do not match and neither of us did good trying to do better.
Thank you we will heal🙏✨ much love to you
Wow, 10 fricking years. I can't even imagine myself in that spot. She dumped me 3 weeks ago to be with someone else, I fear that I will never find someone like her. I barely function and it hurts like hell. I don't know how to move on, I want her back even if she is with someone else and can't stop these thoughts.
@@ferit7418 dude I feel you. It's the hardest feeling to cope with. I've dated since but nobody has fit the same, which makes the missing part harder. I feel strong now, I do have dreams tho still. You've got to love yourself during these times and know that there is someone out there who is searching for you just as much. Time heals, peace
@@coolbaj Man, I'm literally a mess. And hearing that so long you didnt find someone that made you happy like her doubles my anxiety. I'm trying so hard to heal but knowing she is with someone else, got over me and forgot me and knowing there wont be another chance and there is absolutely no one like her in the world is heartbreaking. I don't see an exit from this.
The funny thing is that I do this while I am still in the relationship dealing with the person messing up it all. It saves you from tears and when you are actually out it's a relief.
The timing of this video … 👍🏾👍🏾thank you
I really needed to hear this right now, thank you!
A lot of things happened, I just cried in the restroom so that my siblings won't wake up, then this came up. Wow. Thank you Lord
I needed this. Thank you
Thank you for reminding me of everything i should have been telling myself.
I feel like I'm still getting over the attachment and the grief of losing my best friend and the woman I was with last year this time around we were best friends for about 5 years previously, started a year-long relationship moved in together then a year later she tells me she wants a break and to move out to give her space so I did that we were still hanging out a bit on the side so I thought maybe we could work on it or maybe be friends. Still, she ended up ghosting me and never talking to me again it devastated me cause I did everything I could to be the best person I could to her and be there for her then she did that to me ... I know I have to move on cause it's hurting me. Still, my self-confidence, and my own struggles I deal with just made me feel 100 times worse about life It's been a rough year of moving on I know I'm only 28 and I have more life to live .. I just don't understand why in the past i was able to move on from past relationships but then here its an ongoing struggle to move on and try to forget I just thought me and her would go far ... Thanks for this video I appreciate the advice Evan
I convinced my ex to break up with a guy that cheated on her and claimed to not be in love with him anymore. We talked for a month before she finally left him. We then moved very fast and things were great. We talked about getting married and having kids. I truly felt she was the one. She broke up with me through a text because she was to cowardly to have a real conversation about it. I later found out she ended up with her ex again. I held on for so long even after I found this out. I may still have a little bit lingering but I’m glad I’m finally letting go. I have to keep reminding myself because my life is very hard without her but towards the end she put me down in many ways and would never want to talk about anything hard. Wish she wasn’t like that and things worked out but I have come to accept that’s who she is. I even wished her well with her and the guy she left me for because I do love her. I can’t keep living like this so I’m deciding to let her go out of my mind. I do feel a weight starting to lift. Thanks for the video
You dodged a bullet
You were a temporary rebound. I was in your position once too, exactly that. You thought it was actually you two who were meant for each other, and they just run straight back to their ex. They never cared about us, we were a temporary filler for them. That's why they dip so fast. Sorry man...
Powerful advice on detachment and moving on-it's often a painful yet liberating journey. Embracing the process and allowing oneself to feel the emotions fully can pave the way for new beginnings and personal growth. 🔑
My best friend of 35 years dumped me a few weeks ago. This works for that, too. Very nicely done, Evan Thomas! I subscribed.
The inability to let go also stems from unresolved abandonment issues.
Beautiful… I needed this
Thank you so much. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Love this, this is great advice, thank you!!!
11 years 7 months and 2 young boys. She's done. I AM letting go. I'm done chasing.
I fucked up. I cheated, not physically, but still betrayal nonetheless. May The Most High guide me through this new journey.
@R-Will I'm sorry. I hope you guys can save your marriage. Adultery in any form is a gashing wound that is hard to heal. I wish you and your family the best. ❤
Someone I kno rejected coming back in my life and it hurts but if u love them respect their wishes what’s meant to be will happen no matter what ..trust in the universe
Great advice...I needed it.
I needed this grateful for you
This is one of the best videos I have seen. Thank you….
Very well stated, it's illusionary
Best stuff I heard on this topic, kudos to you
Thank you ,This spoke loud & clear to me. I will take your advice ❤
This actually works you gotta give it time
I resonate with this message. Thank you ❤
this man is 100% correct.. u will only find better if you fully let go.... i was with a guy for 3 years, when he dumped me i was SO SURE he was the one. i was like no i dont want anyone else. him or no one... took me 8 months to get over him... then i met a realllllllly amazing guy. 10000000 times more better. a man i NEVER dreamt of having.
i was with him for only 1.5, he actually dumped me about 3 weeks ago.. and i know that i will keep on finding better.
After all the hurt that person caused me, I wouldn’t be able to take them back even if he wanted to. I’m not having fantasies of being back together for a long time now.
But the pain is still inside my body and mind. “How was it possible for him to treat me like that?” “How could I love a person like that?” And the most deep feeling that I’m not worthy of love or being treated simply adequately. And a lot of other questions and feelings.
And there is so much shit out there that it is highly likely that another attempt with another person will lead to the same outcome or worse. So I don’t even want anyone else either.
I just want to stop feeling so much pain and get out of that mind prison after 5 years now and I’m probably simply not smart or strong enough to figure out how to do it. I’m just getting worn off and agonizing
You need to allow yourself to feel the pain in your body without resistance. Please check some of my videos on the “Letting Go Technique” which talks about this. The only way to release that pain is feel it.