"Being Clear About Your Personal Values and Boundaries" Principle # 7

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ต.ค. 2024
  • Do you know what you believe? Do you tend to think only what others think? Do you hold beliefs and values to accepted by others? Becoming a mature adult or a self-differentiated adult requires us to learn and choose the beliefs and values we hold. Often we have absorbed the values and beliefs of others (from family of origin to friends and groups we are a part of). Boundaries come out of our beliefs and values.
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ความคิดเห็น • 44

  • @jerrywise
    @jerrywise  ปีที่แล้ว

    Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇
    Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027
    ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self

  • @sharonchanza4365
    @sharonchanza4365 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    It’s been a year since I discovered Jerry Wise. Though I live thousands of miles away from him, my life is changing. I believe you are changing lives more than you can imagine.Thank you both for this video!❤️

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @Rob9mm
    @Rob9mm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "We blame others for things we don't put a stop to" - so true!!!!

  • @Clintthecoolguy
    @Clintthecoolguy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I always enjoy listening to you guys! I have learned a lot. I actually said "no" to a bully coworker this week, even though I was scared to and was freaking out. Surprisingly, when I said "no", the world didn't end. Huh. Who would have thought?

    • @yitzgoldberg9393
      @yitzgoldberg9393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This is amazing. No (and yes) are powerful words, they draw the lines of where I start, end and possibly where we might overlap.

  • @InfiniteMindset99
    @InfiniteMindset99 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Simply fantastic & needed as a baseline. Thank you for affirming my strong self- differentiation! I stand tall and calm amidst all family chaos & manipulation.🤗

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @dianelamorticella6053
    @dianelamorticella6053 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    You gotta stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.

  • @dianelamorticella6053
    @dianelamorticella6053 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Being lied to and lied about, and being treated as if it does not matter if I exist, as if I was a servant, all of that made me walk away and stay away. Adios!

    • @yitzgoldberg9393
      @yitzgoldberg9393 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      ❤️

    • @chiliart8056
      @chiliart8056 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Im fighting to do that for wery long time.

  • @pebblebrookbooks4852
    @pebblebrookbooks4852 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    🎶 hold on loosely, but don't let go 🎶

  • @Moongazer17
    @Moongazer17 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Jerry, you are so often the calm in my storm. Your insights are amazing!! Thank you!!💜

  • @IllIlllI
    @IllIlllI 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How these videos haven’t reached millions of views is beyond me. The two of you could make a grain of sand challenge it’s self doubts! Kudos!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much, and thank you for watching. Please share with others. Jerry

  • @tessellatiaartilery8197
    @tessellatiaartilery8197 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This was a fantastic discussion. Such thought provoking explorations. I especially loved Yitz's point about aloneness and maturity and Jerry's skillful way of keeping the discussion open and curious. I wish I had heard this 35 years ago but better late than never! Sending thanks and best wishes to you both. 😊❤

  • @hope46sf
    @hope46sf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you, both!! This is so important, but not talked about much!!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad you enjoyed it!

  • @imxxnsushi
    @imxxnsushi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thanks Jerry, your work is life changing 👏🏾👏🏾 glad to be a paying subscriber. Keep it up.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Much appreciated

    • @amandakieturkus3400
      @amandakieturkus3400 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jerrywise What was the name of the psychologist priest you mentioned? Thanks!

  • @TrueStoryLive1969
    @TrueStoryLive1969 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love you Jerry. The whole world is flat analogy is a good one depending on where you go with it. when you first mentioned it and addressed it, I thought, "wow, what a great analogy!" In terms of family of origin specifically, it can be very much that the whole family believe the earth is round, we might believe the earth is flat and they ridicule us for our belief when they are the ones who are wrong. Regardless of the true shape of the earth (no one knows because we have not seen it for ourselves and clearly the "pics" NASA sens are certainly composites) your point is still a good one, the analogy is sound. We also agree with the idea of "holding lightly" to your beliefs. I have seen so many dogmatic people, in whatever arena, hold so tightly to their own beliefs that it leaves NO room for any growth, any change, any recovery, nothing. Another great video, belief in round earth aside and implied, your videos are very helpful and valuable, like found gold. Thank you!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome, Its nice to know that my videos are helpful and valuable to you, Thank you for your support!

  • @dianelamorticella6053
    @dianelamorticella6053 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Don’t help me if you are going to use it against me later.
    If you were not there when I failed, don’t attempt to take credit for my success.

    • @chiliart8056
      @chiliart8056 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I had it same but somehow I ended in relationship with same dinamics and like all people pingd same emotions like first family .It's complex trauma

  • @shcc5589
    @shcc5589 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    A great celerity way of putting such topic in to words, thank you and Toda 🙏🙏

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you too!

  • @rochellecaffee1417
    @rochellecaffee1417 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    In Christianity, undifferentiated looks like what we call “religiosity”, how we “appear” to others. One can be “religious” about a football team, or a political stand, or a social belief. In this case, we must except every part of the “super-self”, or our “religiosity”. Understanding leads us to realize that there is no “blanket” understanding about anything. Trying to maintain “appearance “ is exhausting, and constantly borrowing “who” we are, from others. Learning to stand alone is freeing and living a Truthful life, authentic life. Unfortunately, the idea of “standing alone” is socially unacceptable, to most. But it is their “fear” or “insecurity” that drives them. “If you continue being annoyed at someone who refuses to change, then you also refuse to change.” We can live our lives without being a threat to others, if we also try to let others know that they are free to be who they are.

  • @keig9385
    @keig9385 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thank you✨✨

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're welcome 😊

  • @donovangray4246
    @donovangray4246 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is true, however there are people who are being killed because those in power don't agree with the values of the LGBTQIA community's identity or expression of said identity.

  • @kareemmohammed5270
    @kareemmohammed5270 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    resonate

  • @rochellecaffee1417
    @rochellecaffee1417 ปีที่แล้ว

    Decide your principles before the conflict., when you will be in a quandary about “what DO you believe?”

  • @Denise-y2c
    @Denise-y2c 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Where can I get one of those self filters ?😊

  • @caracre
    @caracre 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Adult here that has boundary issues that many would not notice. My 22 year old son has issues now. We want to be nice... but we aren't clearly communicating our values and or boundaries. We are conservative in a liberal world....

    • @yitzgoldberg9393
      @yitzgoldberg9393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Maturity can and should exist in any combination of world views

  • @SHOTbyGUN
    @SHOTbyGUN 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Adrian van Kaam was mentioned, which book is worth reading :p ?

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      There were many of his books I liked. I also like Spirituality and the Gentle Life, his spiritual formation texts are deep but rich. Susan Muto is great as well.

    • @SHOTbyGUN
      @SHOTbyGUN 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jerrywise Thanks, I will look into those :)

  • @letthetrumpetsound7893
    @letthetrumpetsound7893 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Please stay away from politics. This has been my safe haven on You Tube for the past few years.

    • @yitzgoldberg9393
      @yitzgoldberg9393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Politics are everywhere- in any system level and in any relationship.
      Reactivity could be anywhere- in any system level and in any relationship.
      Maturity should be everywhere- in any system level and in any relationship.
      Staying away from politics because it’s sensitive is reactivity.
      Maturity is the ability to stand strong and calm also where things get intense and sensitive.