Exactly like you're talking about me. Now I know why I always wondered why I lose my friends so easily and when I get into a relationship the feeling of abandoned growing inside me. Thanks my friend ,,
I was so codependent. I tried to do anything in my power to get my narcissistic family to accept me. I finally stopped the people pleasing and they abandoned me. I had to accept that my family of origin never loved me. People who love you don't throw you away because you didn't give them what they wanted. I realized I was raised in a toxic narcissistic family system and I can't fix nobody. I am finally taking care of me and I am trying so hard to become mentally healthy. I take responsibility for what I allowed to happen to me. Now I know better so I will do better. I can't change my past but I can improve my future!
Wow this is such an inspiring comment!!! I see you !!! You’re so right once you stop doing what they want they no longer see value in you and the best thing you can do is go where you are celebrated and accept that you deserve better! Good for you! I will you more deep healing 💕
I just want my family to leave me alone. I have blocked them. I love my alone time. I have been completing my task list. I have freedom. I have time for myself.
The most perverse thing about codependency to me is that it seems perfectly normal that others have needs but not allowed for oneself. It makes no sense whatsoever except in the context of early childhood behavioral conditioning. Now we know and can reprogram. It's so true that everybody is walking around seeing the world through their own worldview informed by their early unhealed wounds. I was so engaged in this vid throughout-- grateful to you Sydney!
Thank you so much for this comment!! Yes yes yes I agree with everything you said! I had so much respect for everyone else’s boundaries and I spent so much energy trying to honor them but for me to have boundaries of my own seemed crazy😭I’m so glad so many of you hear me and see me it truly means a lot! And yes we now have the tools we need to reprogram! Thank you so much💕💕
Wow, I need to relisten on this one and take notes! When my hubby and I were "dating" he had already gained enuf insight to insist I "owned my own center" and I'd never really learned how to do this. I was 100% a people pleaser w/o realizing, and key problem was "serving others" was a core FOO value, as was "selflessness" and "I don't CARE how you 'feel', what do you THINK!?" .. So, I'm still a work in progress on all this cuz my "core" beliefs are more attached to emotion (codependency/fear of abandonment) than CONVICTION. Learning to say NO and set Healthy boundaries is STILL one of my greatest struggles cuz I "feel" validated and accepted when I bring something to the table (serve/slave?) .. so I am No Contact with my FOO but not by choice. THEY shunned ME when I started asserting some boundaries .. my husband on the other hand? STILL insists I "own my own center" and "no means no" and he has loved me "at my worst"/when I felt I was bringing NOTHING to the table. He's the first real place I have found unconditional love. My mom is a close 2nd, but she's a total codependent on my dad, so her NEW "condition" became .. not speaking or thinking OR "feeling" I'll about her husband and to the extent she feels I fail at this, same with my FOO sister (golden child come most-like-our-dad covert/vulnerable narcissist) who married a man MORE narcissistic than our dad, I am the Prodigal, the "delivered over to Satan till I repent" one, cuz they hate my hubby for calling out the hypocrisy in my FOO .. in all fairness my first 3-4 years trying to set "boundaries" failed with my family, so my H stepped in and "named what ought not be named" (their hypocrisy wrapped up in disguise of 'honoring God' .. and we disagree that the FOO values are "godly" .. no, they are fleshly!) .. Anywhooo .. relisten. Take notes. And thank you for this! May not help with my "family of origin" but WILL help with being a better wife to my Sweetheart!! Thank you!
ok so i guess im on the other end of it, i grew up and i actually thought my dad was the narcissist but i actually am thinking he was the codependent bc he acted just like ur saying and i wanted to RUN from him bc he was ALWAYS using me as his wound fulfillment and manipulating me to go out to eat with him and everything was about him and it was like i didnt even exist. now i have so many problems bc i hate myself, i always want to be alone but dont accomplish anything, my whole life is just avoiding the codependent and its like hes the world in my head that i need to get away from. and i cant figure out who i am and how i heal, shutting everything out and telling my dad no has helped but i still feel so wounded in my own way, like making connections with healthy people is so scary and idk who i am bc i HAD to do everything my dad wanted to do and when im alone i am lost and just get through life avoiding everything
This is an amazing message. Healing is taking place right now and God bless you for this. Words can't explain how this has touched me. You are a shining star❤⚘🔥
@@discoveringthenarcissistic7666 when you said you were told “your feelings don’t matter” I was like yep I was told that. I used to be a ppl pleaser as well
Great video and observations. Something I just noticed, and please use this to help you... My mom and sister are the most damaged from abuse.. they're the ones with auto immune diseases or other issues... But they both do this thing that you do too... Clearing the throat loudly. I think it means you feel you're not heard or being listened to. and you have to draw attention to yourself mid conversation, because people didn't give you eye contact when you're speaking. hopefully you can evaluate if thats true for you. Personally, I wish therapists would just tell me what's wrong with me, instead of letting me find out. but science proves we don't listen to direct criticism, even if it's true. for example. I don't know who I am, when I get stressed I fall apart. that confuses me. but the test says it's true. I also fear abandonment all the time. and it happened.
Exactly like you're talking about me. Now I know why I always wondered why I lose my friends so easily and when I get into a relationship the feeling of abandoned growing inside me.
Thanks my friend ,,
I was so codependent. I tried to do anything in my power to get my narcissistic family to accept me. I finally stopped the people pleasing and they abandoned me. I had to accept that my family of origin never loved me. People who love you don't throw you away because you didn't give them what they wanted. I realized I was raised in a toxic narcissistic family system and I can't fix nobody. I am finally taking care of me and I am trying so hard to become mentally healthy. I take responsibility for what I allowed to happen to me. Now I know better so I will do better. I can't change my past but I can improve my future!
Wow this is such an inspiring comment!!! I see you !!! You’re so right once you stop doing what they want they no longer see value in you and the best thing you can do is go where you are celebrated and accept that you deserve better! Good for you! I will you more deep healing 💕
@@discoveringthenarcissistic7666 I am so happy for you! To discover a healthier way of life is priceless. Keep going!!!
I just want my family to leave me alone. I have blocked them. I love my alone time. I have been completing my task list. I have freedom. I have time for myself.
This is so helpful!
Can you do a video on the narcissist sibling taking your friends?
I'm so grateful for finding you & your Channel! Cheers to healing from codependency and for sharing your journey as I start mine.
I'm grateful for your video this morning. 💖
Wow thank you 💕💕
The most perverse thing about codependency to me is that it seems perfectly normal that others have needs but not allowed for oneself. It makes no sense whatsoever except in the context of early childhood behavioral conditioning. Now we know and can reprogram. It's so true that everybody is walking around seeing the world through their own worldview informed by their early unhealed wounds. I was so engaged in this vid throughout-- grateful to you Sydney!
Thank you so much for this comment!! Yes yes yes I agree with everything you said! I had so much respect for everyone else’s boundaries and I spent so much energy trying to honor them but for me to have boundaries of my own seemed crazy😭I’m so glad so many of you hear me and see me it truly means a lot! And yes we now have the tools we need to reprogram! Thank you so much💕💕
Thank you‼️‼️‼️❤️💕❤️
Never feeling validated. A whole trigger for me. I pray everyday to see the other side of me, healed and whole. So thank you sooo much for this. ❤️
Wow, I need to relisten on this one and take notes! When my hubby and I were "dating" he had already gained enuf insight to insist I "owned my own center" and I'd never really learned how to do this. I was 100% a people pleaser w/o realizing, and key problem was "serving others" was a core FOO value, as was "selflessness" and "I don't CARE how you 'feel', what do you THINK!?" .. So, I'm still a work in progress on all this cuz my "core" beliefs are more attached to emotion (codependency/fear of abandonment) than CONVICTION. Learning to say NO and set Healthy boundaries is STILL one of my greatest struggles cuz I "feel" validated and accepted when I bring something to the table (serve/slave?) .. so I am No Contact with my FOO but not by choice. THEY shunned ME when I started asserting some boundaries .. my husband on the other hand? STILL insists I "own my own center" and "no means no" and he has loved me "at my worst"/when I felt I was bringing NOTHING to the table. He's the first real place I have found unconditional love. My mom is a close 2nd, but she's a total codependent on my dad, so her NEW "condition" became .. not speaking or thinking OR "feeling" I'll about her husband and to the extent she feels I fail at this, same with my FOO sister (golden child come most-like-our-dad covert/vulnerable narcissist) who married a man MORE narcissistic than our dad, I am the Prodigal, the "delivered over to Satan till I repent" one, cuz they hate my hubby for calling out the hypocrisy in my FOO .. in all fairness my first 3-4 years trying to set "boundaries" failed with my family, so my H stepped in and "named what ought not be named" (their hypocrisy wrapped up in disguise of 'honoring God' .. and we disagree that the FOO values are "godly" .. no, they are fleshly!) .. Anywhooo .. relisten. Take notes. And thank you for this! May not help with my "family of origin" but WILL help with being a better wife to my Sweetheart!! Thank you!
ok so i guess im on the other end of it, i grew up and i actually thought my dad was the narcissist but i actually am thinking he was the codependent bc he acted just like ur saying and i wanted to RUN from him bc he was ALWAYS using me as his wound fulfillment and manipulating me to go out to eat with him and everything was about him and it was like i didnt even exist. now i have so many problems bc i hate myself, i always want to be alone but dont accomplish anything, my whole life is just avoiding the codependent and its like hes the world in my head that i need to get away from. and i cant figure out who i am and how i heal, shutting everything out and telling my dad no has helped but i still feel so wounded in my own way, like making connections with healthy people is so scary and idk who i am bc i HAD to do everything my dad wanted to do and when im alone i am lost and just get through life avoiding everything
Thank you. This was a great way to start my day. Very empowering. Please make more. Could you make them a little louder please?
Wow thank you and yes I will definitely try thank you
Can’t watch to see you blossom! You are amazing
The video journal idea🙏🏽
This is an amazing message. Healing is taking place right now and God bless you for this. Words can't explain how this has touched me. You are a shining star❤⚘🔥
Awwww🥲wow this is a really touching comment thank you so much 💕💕
Thank you for all the new uploads!
You’re welcome 😬
Thank u darlin your channel is so helpful xxx
Awww thank you so much 💕
🙏🏾❤️
The pandemic helped me heal too !
I cannot hear you
I want to...
but
my volume is at max
and I cannot hear you.
I feel like we grew up in the same household
Crazy how so many people can relate 😭😩
@@discoveringthenarcissistic7666 when you said you were told “your feelings don’t matter” I was like yep I was told that. I used to be a ppl pleaser as well
the sound is super low
I’m sorry about that I have no idea why I’ll have to check my audio🥺
Thank you for this video 🎈
Do you offer coaching?
Thank you 😊 and you’re welcome, now I currently do not offer coaching but I’m working on something 😉
Great video and observations.
Something I just noticed,
and please use this to help you...
My mom and sister are the most damaged from abuse.. they're the ones with auto immune diseases or other issues...
But they both do this thing that you do too... Clearing the throat loudly.
I think it means you feel you're not heard or being listened to. and you have to draw attention to yourself mid conversation, because people didn't give you eye contact when you're speaking.
hopefully you can evaluate if thats true for you. Personally, I wish therapists would just tell me what's wrong with me, instead of letting me find out. but science proves we don't listen to direct criticism, even if it's true. for example.
I don't know who I am, when I get stressed I fall apart.
that confuses me. but the test says it's true.
I also fear abandonment all the time. and it happened.