Probably one of the most nuanced, Scripturally grounded, and helpful videos on the topic out there. Really appreciate this very balanced approach Tiffany 🙏🏼 Your story is very relatable ❤️
Hi Tiffany . This is a very nice topic and indeed most churches avoid talking about it or even worse don’t have a clue how to approach it , leading only to confused or disappointed Christians . But need to say though we can’t take decisions based on our intellectualism on the Bible . The important thing in all cases is The advice of Holy Ghost firstly and I don’t just mean hearing ourselves. Confirmation has to come , and God knows how to do . We just need the patience and faith He wants only the Best for us.
This is such an important conversation. I grew up in an old-school Catholic household, and I was so confused when I started dating in college what was OK and not. I knew I wanted to wait for sex for marriage, but I had no idea what other boundaries should be/I wanted in place. My family and church simply said no sex and “don’t go too far”. No one could explain what that meant. My boyfriend at the time said I’d know if I felt guilty or not in the moment (I found out he’d been sexually actively with previous girlfriends), which you’re not always thinking straight when you’re revved up. This not knowing and not understanding ended up with me getting into a situation that turned into sexual assault. I have a wonderful daughter who I wouldn’t have otherwise, but I wish I’d understood this topic better/someone would’ve explained it this way to me at 17 years old.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so so sorry that happened to you!! 😭😭 I am also so grateful you are speaking up about this, and the repercussions of staying silent on these topics. And I’m so grateful your daughter has such an aware mother!!❤️❤️❤️
This is the video I’ve searched for for so long but no one has made but now you finally did it and I’m so grateful! A great video and an important topic!
Thank you for talking about this. It is so important. I think western Christians got this wrong idea of sexuality being hush hush and shameful when it is a part of human nature, part of God’s design. Keep going girl, starting these conversations is such great work 🎉
Great and thought-provoking video. Looking back, as a kid moving into my teen years, I was so entirely, utterly, pitifully uninformed that I did not even understand that the feelings I started having were in fact sexual in nature! So, first up indeed is understanding the human body and how it was created to work. After which you can delve into OK, now what the heck do I do with these natural, normal feelings that is morally right and shows respect for myself and others and God, if you are a person of faith. (You don't get out of addressing these questions even if you are not!) You can make reasoned decisions after understanding that the feelings themselves are not blameworthy.
I just have such a messed up view of sex, I've read books and I've spoken to people, counselors professionals, and I'm still confused, society and the church treats it like it's a huge deal, will simultaneously treating it like it means nothing at all, it's just so confusing. 😔
I agree with you. Jesus made it very clear his stance on marriage, divorce, and looking at another human with impure thought. Dating is relatively modern concept (starting 1920s in the U.S). I think it's only fair to consider , we are looking for advice on a contemporary issue in an ancient collection of books for application.
Just want to add to the 2nd point: Every one of us is different and unique, but I believe it's even more important that we acknowledge the Holy Spirit while exploring Vs Finding our Own Sexual Ethics. If we proceed with a mentality of what's best for us we may be shortchanging ourselves. Because he leads and guides into all truth & knows us better than we do. We may be doing an action to release our sex drive but only he knows the true intentions of the heart. So it's very important to ask him why you may be drawn to a specific solution for release and how he feels about it in the first place. EX. Israel wanted a King and it wasn't God's intention, but he allowed it because they kept asking for it. True, some great kings came from this period, but if we go back in even further God preferred to lead them in a very intimate way (See the first encounter at Mt Sinai). It worked out, but the gift of the Holy Spirit himself proves that he wants to be very involved with us and our decision-making. Jesus said it was best that he left so we could have this relationship. Even if we mess up, he will help us. But we have to involve him. Much love, I just think this point can make all the difference.
I LOVE this perspective. Thank you for adding this to the dialogue!!! I wish I’d thought to include this in the video! It’s so true - the nuance of the Bible, especially in areas like this, seems to be just another way God calls us closer into a relationship with Him! I definitely agree - we aren’t supposed to just make up our own sexual ethics, or come at it from the perspective of “what works for me”. But I do think the specifics will be different for each of us, and that’s okay. I think it can even be a sign that we’re looking to Gods leading. There’s so much nuance in the Bible and so much interpretation that it really forces us to come close to God as we search this out for ourselves. It’s like Paul talked about in Romans 14, about different people having different convictions in certain areas, and some things can be sin to one person but not to another. I think parts of our sexual ethic fall into that category as well. The important part, like you said, is really searching it out. Seeking to understand biblical principles, talking with people of different perspectives, and like you said praying and listening to the Holy Spirit. (Such a great addition - should have had this in the video!) thank you for sharing this and adding such value to the dialogue here!! ❤️❤️❤️
WOW. Thank you SO MUCH for going over this!! So much, too much, people will shy away from these questions, and from this conversation. I am so grateful that you are bold in speaking out to those who really need this kind of encouragement and wisdom when so many don’t like to address this!! I am in love with your honesty, and your channel. NEVER STOP making videos please!! 🙏🏻♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Well it is really in a way one of the most wholesome things if it is the way God intended. It is how we all got here and it can be a very deep way of showing your love & affection for someone. It’s a very human experience so I think we can all benefit from an open and practical discussion, very clear language and with some very mature considerations. It doesn’t have to be this personal sharing of your erotic life to be revealing in a way that can help people (in fact I’d argue that for the more personal and erotic, discretion is a beautiful thing)
@@MalloryNewcomb yes it's just that VERY rarely is sex portrayed like this. It is usually portrayed in an extremely graphic, perverted or like you said, personal and/or erotic way. So it can be refreshing to see someone discuss sex in a wholesome, direct, compassionate and educational way
Sexuality is our friend. We must see it as gift instead of a curse. You’re right about The Bible speaks to a specific group of people and culture. The alpha males, Manosphere, Red Pill Influencers, takes the Bible out of context, to justify their promiscuity, cheating, having multiple partners, and they bash women for having sex. It’s horrible. A lot are looking for answers about dating, opposite genders, and they are still depressed. We got to listen to God’s Word, and do what it says. Obey God than men. I hope your family and you are staying safe, and thank you for the video. Take care.
Thank you for this video. I’m 31 and single and I have felt guilty at different times for having a sex drive but not getting to use it. I did grow up with purity culture, purity rings and saying no till you are married which is easy when you are not dating anyone but not when you finally are. When you finally are in a relationship setting boundaries is key. I definitely don’t think hugs, kissing, making out, holding hands is sinful. I used to feel guilty when I was spending time with your boyfriend and seeing that his thing would comes up because he thinks you are beautiful and gets excited, but realizing that not wrong but natural. Again, we are made to be sexual beings. I have and hope to save myself for the Lord and my future spouse for my wedding night. It won’t be easy. I don’t know if I agrees with masturbation before marriage as a sexual release unless it’s happens to be as a result of a sexual dream we have bc we can’t control what we dream about at night. I say that bc I have understood that if someone masturbates (girl or guy) before marriage for their own pleasure that it will cause different wiring of the brain and this can cause further sexually problems for them and their spouse with in with their sexual activity. Not being able to have organism and connect with their spouse in the context of sexual activity. Again, like a lot of the Christian walk, it’s not black and white. Dating isn’t in the Bible, but it’s something we need to research, ask mentors for advice, pray about and seek Gods direction for bc every person is different and everyone’s walk is different. We can do our best and know we will probably fail at some point but know God is a redemptive God. Amen!
Trust me about the masturbation that it’s not approved of in the Bible and mentioned by Jesus. It’s hard for me as a single 27 year old man trying to contain my sex drive while waiting on the Lord to help make a way for me to be able to enter into marriage since I lack the provider aspect financially and money like an Ephesians 5 man has to have for his wife. Masturbation does really mess up the brain trust me when I say this as an addict for years delivered by God 6 months has ago.
Thank you so much for this perspective! I love how you’ve grown to see our body’s responses as simply natural, as they are. It can be so hard to get there!! As far as masturbation, I don’t know all the research on it, but from what I understand, i believe there’s also research showing the opposite results of masturbation- that it can also make for a more pleasurable sex life and easier time orgasming because of knowing your own body. There are definitely lots of mixed messages on the subject! So glad you’re really thinking it through and figuring out how you can honor God in your own life!! ❤️❤️❤️
That’s incredible you’ve found freedom from the addiction!! Praise God- and congratulations to you for all the work it takes to break free!! 🙌🙌 any kind of addiction really can hurt our brains and their wiring. So happy you found freedom!!❤️❤️
Good stuff! I agree with pretty much everything! My sex drive is pretty strong. It definitely took me a while to understand that these urges of mine are normal, and that our God is no prude either lol. I pray to Him all the time that I will marry someone with similar desires too.
Thank youuuuuu so so so much, tiffinay !!!! Trying to save sex for marriage is definitely hard. i love that you create a safe place for all of us who are trying to figure whats not ok or what is okay (sexually speaking) and how you say that its not an easy task ....because it really isnt 😭🤍thank you for being so inviting, warm and comforting 🤍 i love what you do.god really uses you tiffany ! Love you!
I have had a lot of shame around my sex drive as a single woman and struggled with masterbation. Out of God's conviction I recently, walked away from it. It's hard at times but, I pray through it. I know that God has better plans for me in the future and I look forward to the day I will in enjoy sex with my husband the way God intended. Thank you, for talking about this topic! It's so needed!
Tiffany even though I’m an older widower it can be difficult especially when your spouse had gone through family involved incest, it all gets muddled. I appreciate what you present information wise Biblically and thoughtfully.
My husband and I saved touch for marriage (we did not touch at all during our 70-day betrothal). We chose this due to a healthy respect of our strong drives and also based on 1 Corinthians 7:1 “it is good for a man not to touch a woman” (and that word “touch” literally meaning to kindle a flame, like you described with your boyfriend’s arm around you). While it was probably more conservative than we needed to go, we figured if we were going to err on one side we’d rather err on that, extremely hard though it was. The plus side was we never felt shame or guilt during that time and were able to fully enter into the honeymoon and our first times of everything with abandon and not feel any guilt whatsoever. That was an incredible experience and continues to be. Just sharing to say it IS possible to live a life of no regrets (though everyone’s personal convictions of boundaries will be different). Choose your hard!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this!! It sounds like you guys had really thoughtful and grace filled convictions that have brought so much life to your relationship!!🙌🙌😭😭
I think we need to be careful when telling ourselves we can develop our own biblical sexual ethics. It definitely needs to be researched and understood but it's not something we get to decide and make up for ourselves. We are sinful, we are going to skew that so fast. Like another commenter said it needs to be done with the Holy Spirit and with an attitude of looking for the truth. That being said, one person's boundaries may differ from another person's but at the baseline, the sexual ethic of the Bible is pretty clear. Yes, kings in the Old Testament had many wives, God using them doesn't mean he supports that lifestyle it means His power is greater than our weakness and failing which is the whole point. There is no condemnation but there is still sin and a need for repentance and acceptance of forgiveness. I'm honestly still wondering what to do with my sex drive as an engaged woman waiting till marriage, but I know a huge part of it is constantly bring it to God and asking for wisdom and direction and for Him to help me stay present and trust that drive will be there when the time is right and I don't need to indulge it now, nor feel guilty when my body responds as it's meant to. That just may be a sign to pull back for a bit, which is really ok.
Thank you for sharing this and adding to the dialogue here!! Love your perspective!! I agree - we can’t just make up our own sexual ethics. I mean,,,we could, but as followers of God that’s not what we’re supposed to do. 😂🙈 But I do think, like you said, the specifics will be different for each of us. There’s so much nuance in the Bible and so much interpretation that it really forces us to come close to God as we search this out for ourselves. It’s like Paul talked about in Romans 14, about different people having different convictions in certain areas, and some things can be sin to one person but not to another. I think parts of our sexual ethic fall into that category as well. The important part, like you said, is really searching it out. Seeking to understand biblical principles, talking with people of different perspectives, and like you said praying and listening to the Holy Spirit. (Such a great addition - should have had this in the video!) thank you for sharing this and adding such value to the dialogue here!! ❤️❤️❤️ Also congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!!😍😍
@@TiffanyDawn Thanks Tiffany!! I'm encouraged by your response. i really appreciate the encouragement for people to dig deeper and look for other interpretations but I just know it can so easily be taken in the wrong direction if we give ourselves too much license and stop trusting God! That's not what you're encouraging at all, I know that, its just definitely where the slippery slope leads. It's a beautiful thing to explore this life we've been called to as Christians! Thanks for being a voice within it.
My heart desires sex as a way to show love and respect to a partner while also making sure they know they are loved and known with the intimacy and pleasure with it. My Goal is to save myself for marriage as I have so far, but it’s hard facing the sexual temptations to find a release and control that fire of that desire in my singleness and loneliness. My heart yearns for a woman and relationship leading to marriage so that the temptation to sin with premarital sex inside my heart and mind goes away with the love I would be glad to show my spouse. So far nothing at age 27 and it’s hard being patient waiting on God.
what if Im not single, but the girlfriend wants to save sex for when we get marride. but she isnt a virgin. anyways, my point is, Im not single. but its as if I am
A new culture doesnt matter romans 12:2 says "do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what gods will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will." Gods will is described mulptiple times throughout the bible whether its a new culture or not is irrelevant to how we are supposed act. Will we make mistakes sure and pushing to be better after those mistakes is what defines us.
Great perspective, supported by passages like Romans 14. Also far too many people use the terms masturbation and pornography synonymously when really we are dealing with two completely separate issues, because the Bible addresses one directly and not the other. I don't know how people can condemn something that the Bible doesn't, only that people have been doing that throughout history! I don't intend to follow the teachings of people who use shame and guilt to affect behavior because that is not the language of God. But regarding your affirmation of sexual response in general, I think Sheila Gregoire has a lot to say about how the sexes relate to each other that feels very freeing to me. Have you read her?
Very good video, as someone who is 31 and single so much good stuff. Plus on the issue of "Just read the Bible without any influence". The Bible itself actually contradicts that advice. 2 Peter 3:16 He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. 17 Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. ----- The Bible can clearly be distorted in different ways in the essentials (Many people do that with the Divinity of Jesus) so if they can do that in essential areas surely they can do that in areas like sexuality. -------- Furthermore many people interpret "Lust" as the same thing as "Attraction" they are not, they are merely assumed to be that by other people. That's a terrible error to make. Also the analogy which I know people are going to use is "Well it's best to be safe because it's like driving in the mountains near a cliff, you don't want to go the edge" and that's true but there is such a thing as being so afraid of getting near the edge that you go too close to the mountain top and ruin the side of your car. So yes there is such a thing as being too cautious.
Wow these are VERY insightful observations!! I especially love your perspective on the dangers of being too cautious- I’ve never heard it like that before! Thank you for sharing!
This is how I interpret the bible its about adultery all the scripture about sexual sin is about adultery. If there's love in that relationship sex I feel is ok. Sex is wrong if it's sleeping around, sex workers, rap pedofillia or Adultery ect. God is not going cast you to hell if you have sex out of marriage. What is written it's better to marry then burn in passion if you lack self control.
1 wife or husband no sex before marriage even if you have been married and divorced and are single again at any age. God tells us sex is for marriage. Kissing and hugging is FINE!
Problem is christian women usually lose all kind of sexual interest once married and start looking for excuses to not have sex. Thats what scares me about getting married. Wouldn’t want to be that woman.
@@laylalayla6630 To be honest I have never understood that about the women that are like that about sex! We shouldnt get into a committed relationship with someone unless we are very attracted to the person...and of course them being very attracted to us! In that case and you get along really well...why lose sexual interest? If you love someone you should be into them and that doesnt go away! It never has for me and wouldnt Im sure.
Am almost 24 now and still a virgin am a guy my body really crave sex but I control it and another thing is I look like a teenager because of my baby face and average stature so no girl wants to date me than 14-16yrsolds. Who are underage for me but think am their age
I've had to deconstruct a lot from purity culture and rebuild my sexual ethic over the years. I no longer believe masturbation is wrong/sinful. I also feel the same way about premarital sex. I've also had to work through my views on porn too... And once I depathologized it spiritually, it helped the compulsivity so much... However in all of this I'm not saying to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I believe in a responsible sexual ethic and taking nothing lightly, even though other Christians would believe me to have no ethic with my views. Thank you so much for your open perspective videos, they have helped my personal growth so much.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with this!! I really appreciate hearing your experience and perspective! It sounds like you take this topic very seriously and thoughtfully. I love that!!❤️❤️
@jm531b2 One, it's never specifically prohibited in the bible. Two, many biblical scholars agree that the couple in song of songs doing the euphemistically spicy things were not even married. Also have had to deconstruct a lot of my views on porn too after finding out that so much of the "science" that we've been told by alleged non christian organizations like fight the new drug is not scientifically accurate, and that many of them are backed by religious christian/mormon groups/people. I'm not saying go watch porn, but I'm saying the purported science that has been sold to us has not been honest or forthcoming. I have struggled with porn in the past, and once I depathologized it spiritually and accepted myself where I was, it really helped my ocd and self destructive relationship with it. Reallized I commented this on an older video of Tiffany's but using one of my other accounts ( I promise I'm not a troll or a bot) go check out Erica Smiths Purity Culture Dropouts webinar on porn. It has some great discussion and resources on making ethical and informed conclusions www.ericasmitheac.com/webinars-books/p/a-conversation-about-porn-for-purity-culture-dropouts
My pastor asked me how I want to be loved by someone and how I want to love someone and that released a lot of tension for me around this topic 💫
This is really helpful
Probably one of the most nuanced, Scripturally grounded, and helpful videos on the topic out there. Really appreciate this very balanced approach Tiffany 🙏🏼 Your story is very relatable ❤️
That means the world to me!! Thank you😭🥹❤️
Hi Tiffany .
This is a very nice topic and indeed most churches avoid talking about it or even worse don’t have a clue how to approach it , leading only to confused or disappointed Christians .
But need to say though we can’t take decisions based on our intellectualism on the Bible . The important thing in all cases is The advice of Holy Ghost firstly and I don’t just mean hearing ourselves. Confirmation has to come , and God knows how to do . We just need the patience and faith He wants only the Best for us.
This is such an important conversation. I grew up in an old-school Catholic household, and I was so confused when I started dating in college what was OK and not. I knew I wanted to wait for sex for marriage, but I had no idea what other boundaries should be/I wanted in place. My family and church simply said no sex and “don’t go too far”. No one could explain what that meant. My boyfriend at the time said I’d know if I felt guilty or not in the moment (I found out he’d been sexually actively with previous girlfriends), which you’re not always thinking straight when you’re revved up. This not knowing and not understanding ended up with me getting into a situation that turned into sexual assault. I have a wonderful daughter who I wouldn’t have otherwise, but I wish I’d understood this topic better/someone would’ve explained it this way to me at 17 years old.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so so sorry that happened to you!! 😭😭 I am also so grateful you are speaking up about this, and the repercussions of staying silent on these topics. And I’m so grateful your daughter has such an aware mother!!❤️❤️❤️
This is the video I’ve searched for for so long but no one has made but now you finally did it and I’m so grateful! A great video and an important topic!
This means the world to me!!😭😭 THANK YOU for this comment ❤️❤️
Thank you for talking about this. It is so important. I think western Christians got this wrong idea of sexuality being hush hush and shameful when it is a part of human nature, part of God’s design. Keep going girl, starting these conversations is such great work 🎉
That means so much!! Thank you🥹❤️
I love how clearly and with wisdom you share advice!! My #1 favorite Christian on TH-cam. Thank you!!
Awww!!! That means so much to me - thank you for the encouragement!!❤️❤️
Great and thought-provoking video. Looking back, as a kid moving into my teen years, I was so entirely, utterly, pitifully uninformed that I did not even understand that the feelings I started having were in fact sexual in nature! So, first up indeed is understanding the human body and how it was created to work. After which you can delve into OK, now what the heck do I do with these natural, normal feelings that is morally right and shows respect for myself and others and God, if you are a person of faith. (You don't get out of addressing these questions even if you are not!) You can make reasoned decisions after understanding that the feelings themselves are not blameworthy.
Well said!!! This is so good!!
I just have such a messed up view of sex, I've read books and I've spoken to people, counselors professionals, and I'm still confused, society and the church treats it like it's a huge deal, will simultaneously treating it like it means nothing at all, it's just so confusing. 😔
That’s a profound observation!! The mixed messages really are so confusing
I agree with you. Jesus made it very clear his stance on marriage, divorce, and looking at another human with impure thought. Dating is relatively modern concept (starting 1920s in the U.S). I think it's only fair to consider , we are looking for advice on a contemporary issue in an ancient collection of books for application.
Exactly!! We can draw lots of good principles but it takes nuance and interpretation and dialogue to get healthy application for today
Just want to add to the 2nd point: Every one of us is different and unique, but I believe it's even more important that we acknowledge the Holy Spirit while exploring Vs Finding our Own Sexual Ethics. If we proceed with a mentality of what's best for us we may be shortchanging ourselves. Because he leads and guides into all truth & knows us better than we do. We may be doing an action to release our sex drive but only he knows the true intentions of the heart. So it's very important to ask him why you may be drawn to a specific solution for release and how he feels about it in the first place. EX. Israel wanted a King and it wasn't God's intention, but he allowed it because they kept asking for it. True, some great kings came from this period, but if we go back in even further God preferred to lead them in a very intimate way (See the first encounter at Mt Sinai). It worked out, but the gift of the Holy Spirit himself proves that he wants to be very involved with us and our decision-making. Jesus said it was best that he left so we could have this relationship. Even if we mess up, he will help us. But we have to involve him.
Much love, I just think this point can make all the difference.
Amen to this!!!
May we never neglect the Holy Spirit.
I LOVE this perspective. Thank you for adding this to the dialogue!!! I wish I’d thought to include this in the video! It’s so true - the nuance of the Bible, especially in areas like this, seems to be just another way God calls us closer into a relationship with Him! I definitely agree - we aren’t supposed to just make up our own sexual ethics, or come at it from the perspective of “what works for me”. But I do think the specifics will be different for each of us, and that’s okay. I think it can even be a sign that we’re looking to Gods leading. There’s so much nuance in the Bible and so much interpretation that it really forces us to come close to God as we search this out for ourselves. It’s like Paul talked about in Romans 14, about different people having different convictions in certain areas, and some things can be sin to one person but not to another. I think parts of our sexual ethic fall into that category as well. The important part, like you said, is really searching it out. Seeking to understand biblical principles, talking with people of different perspectives, and like you said praying and listening to the Holy Spirit. (Such a great addition - should have had this in the video!) thank you for sharing this and adding such value to the dialogue here!! ❤️❤️❤️
WOW. Thank you SO MUCH for going over this!! So much, too much, people will shy away from these questions, and from this conversation. I am so grateful that you are bold in speaking out to those who really need this kind of encouragement and wisdom when so many don’t like to address this!!
I am in love with your honesty, and your channel. NEVER STOP making videos please!! 🙏🏻♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
That means the world to me!! Thank you so much for saying this 😭❤️🥹
Why is this lady so wholesome even talking about these subjects?? 😂 I love this!! You are doing such a great thing Tiffany!
Awww!! That means so much!!😂😂😍😍 thank you!!!❤️
Well it is really in a way one of the most wholesome things if it is the way God intended. It is how we all got here and it can be a very deep way of showing your love & affection for someone. It’s a very human experience so I think we can all benefit from an open and practical discussion, very clear language and with some very mature considerations.
It doesn’t have to be this personal sharing of your erotic life to be revealing in a way that can help people (in fact I’d argue that for the more personal and erotic, discretion is a beautiful thing)
@@MalloryNewcomb yes it's just that VERY rarely is sex portrayed like this. It is usually portrayed in an extremely graphic, perverted or like you said, personal and/or erotic way.
So it can be refreshing to see someone
discuss sex in a wholesome, direct, compassionate and educational way
Thanks you SO MUCH. Your advice is very practical and addresses exactly what I’m going through right now.
I’m so glad!!! That makes me so happy ❤️❤️
Sexuality is our friend. We must see it as gift instead of a curse. You’re right about The Bible speaks to a specific group of people and culture. The alpha males, Manosphere, Red Pill Influencers, takes the Bible out of context, to justify their promiscuity, cheating, having multiple partners, and they bash women for having sex. It’s horrible. A lot are looking for answers about dating, opposite genders, and they are still depressed. We got to listen to God’s Word, and do what it says. Obey God than men. I hope your family and you are staying safe, and thank you for the video. Take care.
“See it as a gift instead of a curse” so good!!
Thank you for this video. I’m 31 and single and I have felt guilty at different times for having a sex drive but not getting to use it. I did grow up with purity culture, purity rings and saying no till you are married which is easy when you are not dating anyone but not when you finally are. When you finally are in a relationship setting boundaries is key. I definitely don’t think hugs, kissing, making out, holding hands is sinful. I used to feel guilty when I was spending time with your boyfriend and seeing that his thing would comes up because he thinks you are beautiful and gets excited, but realizing that not wrong but natural. Again, we are made to be sexual beings.
I have and hope to save myself for the Lord and my future spouse for my wedding night. It won’t be easy.
I don’t know if I agrees with masturbation before marriage as a sexual release unless it’s happens to be as a result of a sexual dream we have bc we can’t control what we dream about at night. I say that bc I have understood that if someone masturbates (girl or guy) before marriage for their own pleasure that it will cause different wiring of the brain and this can cause further sexually problems for them and their spouse with in with their sexual activity. Not being able to have organism and connect with their spouse in the context of sexual activity.
Again, like a lot of the Christian walk, it’s not black and white. Dating isn’t in the Bible, but it’s something we need to research, ask mentors for advice, pray about and seek Gods direction for bc every person is different and everyone’s walk is different. We can do our best and know we will probably fail at some point but know God is a redemptive God. Amen!
Trust me about the masturbation that it’s not approved of in the Bible and mentioned by Jesus. It’s hard for me as a single 27 year old man trying to contain my sex drive while waiting on the Lord to help make a way for me to be able to enter into marriage since I lack the provider aspect financially and money like an Ephesians 5 man has to have for his wife. Masturbation does really mess up the brain trust me when I say this as an addict for years delivered by God 6 months has ago.
Thank you so much for this perspective! I love how you’ve grown to see our body’s responses as simply natural, as they are. It can be so hard to get there!! As far as masturbation, I don’t know all the research on it, but from what I understand, i believe there’s also research showing the opposite results of masturbation- that it can also make for a more pleasurable sex life and easier time orgasming because of knowing your own body. There are definitely lots of mixed messages on the subject! So glad you’re really thinking it through and figuring out how you can honor God in your own life!! ❤️❤️❤️
That’s incredible you’ve found freedom from the addiction!! Praise God- and congratulations to you for all the work it takes to break free!! 🙌🙌 any kind of addiction really can hurt our brains and their wiring. So happy you found freedom!!❤️❤️
Good stuff! I agree with pretty much everything! My sex drive is pretty strong. It definitely took me a while to understand that these urges of mine are normal, and that our God is no prude either lol. I pray to Him all the time that I will marry someone with similar desires too.
Thank youuuuuu so so so much, tiffinay !!!! Trying to save sex for marriage is definitely hard. i love that you create a safe place for all of us who are trying to figure whats not ok or what is okay (sexually speaking) and how you say that its not an easy task ....because it really isnt 😭🤍thank you for being so inviting, warm and comforting 🤍 i love what you do.god really uses you tiffany ! Love you!
That means so much - THANK YOU for taking the time to share this encouragement with me❤️😭
I have had a lot of shame around my sex drive as a single woman and struggled with masterbation.
Out of God's conviction I recently, walked away from it.
It's hard at times but, I pray through it.
I know that God has better plans for me in the future and I look forward to the day I will in enjoy sex with my husband the way God intended. Thank you, for talking about this topic! It's so needed!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this!! I’m so impressed with your courage!!❤️❤️❤️
Tiffany even though I’m an older widower it can be difficult especially when your spouse had gone through family involved incest, it all gets muddled. I appreciate what you present information wise Biblically and thoughtfully.
Back to tackling your favourite topic i see. 😁 Nice points.
😂😂😂 you know it!!
So glad i found your channel, such great content. Thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you!! So glad to have you here!❤️
Great job sis God bless you and your family ❤
Thank you❤️❤️
Wow thanks for this video! I always look forward to hearing what you have to say. Thank you!
That means so much!!
My husband and I saved touch for marriage (we did not touch at all during our 70-day betrothal). We chose this due to a healthy respect of our strong drives and also based on 1 Corinthians 7:1 “it is good for a man not to touch a woman” (and that word “touch” literally meaning to kindle a flame, like you described with your boyfriend’s arm around you). While it was probably more conservative than we needed to go, we figured if we were going to err on one side we’d rather err on that, extremely hard though it was.
The plus side was we never felt shame or guilt during that time and were able to fully enter into the honeymoon and our first times of everything with abandon and not feel any guilt whatsoever. That was an incredible experience and continues to be.
Just sharing to say it IS possible to live a life of no regrets (though everyone’s personal convictions of boundaries will be different). Choose your hard!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this!! It sounds like you guys had really thoughtful and grace filled convictions that have brought so much life to your relationship!!🙌🙌😭😭
I think we need to be careful when telling ourselves we can develop our own biblical sexual ethics. It definitely needs to be researched and understood but it's not something we get to decide and make up for ourselves. We are sinful, we are going to skew that so fast. Like another commenter said it needs to be done with the Holy Spirit and with an attitude of looking for the truth. That being said, one person's boundaries may differ from another person's but at the baseline, the sexual ethic of the Bible is pretty clear. Yes, kings in the Old Testament had many wives, God using them doesn't mean he supports that lifestyle it means His power is greater than our weakness and failing which is the whole point. There is no condemnation but there is still sin and a need for repentance and acceptance of forgiveness.
I'm honestly still wondering what to do with my sex drive as an engaged woman waiting till marriage, but I know a huge part of it is constantly bring it to God and asking for wisdom and direction and for Him to help me stay present and trust that drive will be there when the time is right and I don't need to indulge it now, nor feel guilty when my body responds as it's meant to. That just may be a sign to pull back for a bit, which is really ok.
Use it in marriage. Learn about sex and plan your future sex life with your future husband.
@@lindseyrae8598 We're still 8 months out so we won't talk about it a whole lot till closer too. But yeah
Thank you for sharing this and adding to the dialogue here!! Love your perspective!! I agree - we can’t just make up our own sexual ethics. I mean,,,we could, but as followers of God that’s not what we’re supposed to do. 😂🙈 But I do think, like you said, the specifics will be different for each of us. There’s so much nuance in the Bible and so much interpretation that it really forces us to come close to God as we search this out for ourselves. It’s like Paul talked about in Romans 14, about different people having different convictions in certain areas, and some things can be sin to one person but not to another. I think parts of our sexual ethic fall into that category as well. The important part, like you said, is really searching it out. Seeking to understand biblical principles, talking with people of different perspectives, and like you said praying and listening to the Holy Spirit. (Such a great addition - should have had this in the video!) thank you for sharing this and adding such value to the dialogue here!! ❤️❤️❤️ Also congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!!😍😍
@@TiffanyDawn Thanks Tiffany!! I'm encouraged by your response. i really appreciate the encouragement for people to dig deeper and look for other interpretations but I just know it can so easily be taken in the wrong direction if we give ourselves too much license and stop trusting God! That's not what you're encouraging at all, I know that, its just definitely where the slippery slope leads.
It's a beautiful thing to explore this life we've been called to as Christians! Thanks for being a voice within it.
I love the passage where Jesus rescued the woman from the Pharicees (I think.) And said she was "loosed."
My heart desires sex as a way to show love and respect to a partner while also making sure they know they are loved and known with the intimacy and pleasure with it. My
Goal is to save myself for marriage as I have so far, but it’s hard facing the sexual temptations to find a release and control that fire of that desire in my singleness and loneliness. My heart yearns for a woman and relationship leading to marriage so that the temptation to sin with premarital sex inside my heart and mind goes away with the love I would be glad to show my spouse. So far nothing at age 27 and it’s hard being patient waiting on God.
what if Im not single, but the girlfriend wants to save sex for when we get marride. but she isnt a virgin. anyways, my point is, Im not single. but its as if I am
When you take the TEXT out of CONTEXT, you’re left with the CON. 4:05
I’ve been struggling with this same exact topic this week. So when I saw this I clicked immediately! Lol
I love the timing of it!!😂❤️
A new culture doesnt matter romans 12:2 says "do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what gods will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will." Gods will is described mulptiple times throughout the bible whether its a new culture or not is irrelevant to how we are supposed act. Will we make mistakes sure and pushing to be better after those mistakes is what defines us.
Great perspective, supported by passages like Romans 14. Also far too many people use the terms masturbation and pornography synonymously when really we are dealing with two completely separate issues, because the Bible addresses one directly and not the other. I don't know how people can condemn something that the Bible doesn't, only that people have been doing that throughout history! I don't intend to follow the teachings of people who use shame and guilt to affect behavior because that is not the language of God. But regarding your affirmation of sexual response in general, I think Sheila Gregoire has a lot to say about how the sexes relate to each other that feels very freeing to me. Have you read her?
I LOVE Sheila Gregoire!! Oh my goodness she has TREMENDOUS resources 😍
I’m pretty sure Napoleon Hill wrote about this. # Transmutation
Very good video, as someone who is 31 and single so much good stuff.
Plus on the issue of "Just read the Bible without any influence". The Bible itself actually contradicts that advice.
2 Peter 3:16 He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.
17 Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. -----
The Bible can clearly be distorted in different ways in the essentials (Many people do that with the Divinity of Jesus) so if they can do that in essential areas surely they can do that in areas like sexuality.
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Furthermore many people interpret "Lust" as the same thing as "Attraction" they are not, they are merely assumed to be that by other people. That's a terrible error to make.
Also the analogy which I know people are going to use is "Well it's best to be safe because it's like driving in the mountains near a cliff, you don't want to go the edge" and that's true but there is such a thing as being so afraid of getting near the edge that you go too close to the mountain top and ruin the side of your car. So yes there is such a thing as being too cautious.
Wow these are VERY insightful observations!! I especially love your perspective on the dangers of being too cautious- I’ve never heard it like that before! Thank you for sharing!
@@TiffanyDawnyour welcome I'm glad I can help!
This is how I interpret the bible its about adultery all the scripture about sexual sin is about adultery. If there's love in that relationship sex I feel is ok. Sex is wrong if it's sleeping around, sex workers, rap pedofillia or Adultery ect. God is not going cast you to hell if you have sex out of marriage. What is written it's better to marry then burn in passion if you lack self control.
1 wife or husband no sex before marriage even if you have been married and divorced and are single again at any age. God tells us sex is for marriage. Kissing and hugging is FINE!
Problem is christian women usually lose all kind of sexual interest once married and start looking for excuses to not have sex. Thats what scares me about getting married. Wouldn’t want to be that woman.
@@laylalayla6630 To be honest I have never understood that about the women that are like that about sex! We shouldnt get into a committed relationship with someone unless we are very attracted to the person...and of course them being very attracted to us! In that case and you get along really well...why lose sexual interest? If you love someone you should be into them and that doesnt go away! It never has for me and wouldnt Im sure.
Am almost 24 now and still a virgin am a guy my body really crave sex but I control it and another thing is I look like a teenager because of my baby face and average stature so no girl wants to date me than 14-16yrsolds. Who are underage for me but think am their age
I've had to deconstruct a lot from purity culture and rebuild my sexual ethic over the years. I no longer believe masturbation is wrong/sinful. I also feel the same way about premarital sex. I've also had to work through my views on porn too... And once I depathologized it spiritually, it helped the compulsivity so much... However in all of this I'm not saying to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I believe in a responsible sexual ethic and taking nothing lightly, even though other Christians would believe me to have no ethic with my views. Thank you so much for your open perspective videos, they have helped my personal growth so much.
Hey, I see how some would come to that conclusion about masturbation but I would love if you'd expound on premarital sex. Thanks!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with this!! I really appreciate hearing your experience and perspective! It sounds like you take this topic very seriously and thoughtfully. I love that!!❤️❤️
@jm531b2 One, it's never specifically prohibited in the bible. Two, many biblical scholars agree that the couple in song of songs doing the euphemistically spicy things were not even married. Also have had to deconstruct a lot of my views on porn too after finding out that so much of the "science" that we've been told by alleged non christian organizations like fight the new drug is not scientifically accurate, and that many of them are backed by religious christian/mormon groups/people. I'm not saying go watch porn, but I'm saying the purported science that has been sold to us has not been honest or forthcoming. I have struggled with porn in the past, and once I depathologized it spiritually and accepted myself where I was, it really helped my ocd and self destructive relationship with it. Reallized I commented this on an older video of Tiffany's but using one of my other accounts ( I promise I'm not a troll or a bot) go check out Erica Smiths Purity Culture Dropouts webinar on porn. It has some great discussion and resources on making ethical and informed conclusions www.ericasmitheac.com/webinars-books/p/a-conversation-about-porn-for-purity-culture-dropouts
EVERYthing changes so much when you come to the full realization that God is the sole creation of man, and in reality, does NOT actually exist!
Coming up with ethics is hard-whether it be the coming up of them or especially the following of them when single or in a relationship 🫤
It really is so hard!!