mares returning to be with the geldings in the summer pasture

Hi i'm Cat
i used to work as an equine sports masseuse under Back In The Saddle UK
recently after some awful traumatic events my health took a serious hit .. now my horses are just my companions and some days i don't have the strength to see them atall but now when i do see them all i feel is pure love ... burn still rules my life, returning to a competitive career dream is over.
Not having a plan has resulted in me not even knowing my self, what i stand for, what i represent, what i believe in, who i want to be, where i want to go, what i want to leave behind BUT what i do know is saying NO will help me find that peace of mind and horses and the precious equus spirit with the help of amazing healers will help me carve that new un ventured path to who i am supposed to be
Thankyou spirit of the horse, the one spirit that is in every horse that guides the likes of you and me back home x