My entire adult life was rooted in finding love. Every relationship failed because of my own inner childhood wounds. I am 50 years old now and I had to confront my adult self and my inner child. I have had to learn how to love, parent and truly care for myself. I've been single and celibate for three years now approaching 4 years. Dr. Mate is absolutely brilliant and it begins from the standpoint of his love for humanity and the world. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your journey. It takes so much courage to face our inner wounds and work on healing ourselves. The love and care you’ve learned to give yourself are truly inspiring, and it shows your strength and growth. Dr. Mate’s wisdom resonates so deeply, and it’s wonderful to see how his work has touched your life. Wishing you continued healing and self-love on this beautiful path you’re on. ❤️
I’m comforted in knowing I am not all alone. I have felt so alone all my life. Reading that others have unfortunately had the same upbringing and have become self aware later in life (I am 57) gives me much hope that my journey will lead to peace one day. Thank you all for sharing 🧡
Wow, this video really hit home for me. 💔 I never realized how much my childhood experiences were shaping my relationships as an adult. Hearing Dr. Gabor Maté explain how we subconsciously seek the love we didn’t get as kids was such a powerful moment for me. It made me reflect on the patterns I’ve been repeating without even knowing it. I’ve often felt stuck in unhealthy dynamics, and this gave me so much clarity. It’s both heartbreaking and empowering to understand that healing starts with awareness and authenticity. Has anyone else had that “aha!” moment when you realized you were carrying old wounds into your relationships? I’d love to hear your stories and insights. Let’s create a safe space to share and learn from each other. 🙏 #GaborMate, #ChildhoodTrauma, #AttachmentTheory, #HealingJourney, #Relationships, #EmotionalHealth, #TraumaRecovery, #SelfAwareness, #Authenticity, #LoveAndTrauma
Thank you - this video information showed up just as i am deeply working thru the consequences of being raised by an emotionally immature bully .. releasing so much is a special freedom
Thank you so much for watching this video and sharing your thoughts. I’m really glad it came to you at the right time. Releasing those heavy feelings and finding freedom is truly powerful. Wishing you strength and healing on your journey-you deserve it!
I'm sure Gabor won't mind me writing this, but I am currently reading a wonderful book by John Bradshaw, titled " Home Coming . Reclaiming and championing your inner child ". Very, very good . Saying similar things to Gabor . Synchronicity .
Yes !!!! I’ve been knowing about John for many years . I have all his books and tbh, I haven’t made the time to read them. There is another one called “ the shame that binds us “ All of his work and understanding of childhood trauma was spot on !
I read and practiced that book by Bradshaw(the pioneer of the inner child work) in the 80,'s and I suggest you read his other books on toxic shame etc..I can't watch this because of the annoying commentator.
I've always believed that we were meant to work together with our partner to figure these things out. It takes loyalty, commitment, and perseverance. Those who make it through these challenges together have the richest and most intimate relationships. They are rewarded for doing the actual work. I knew that instinctively and was committed, but my partner was not. I hate that I know this stuff, but have no one to know it with me or share the journey with. I hate him for leaving me and our family.
Thank you so much for watching this video and sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your openness and vulnerability. It’s clear how deeply you value loyalty, commitment, and perseverance in relationships, and it takes strength to express that. I’m so sorry to hear about the pain you’ve experienced-it’s heartbreaking when a partner doesn’t share the same commitment.Please remember, your understanding and dedication are valuable qualities, even if they weren’t reciprocated as they should have been. I hope you find peace and someone who values sharing this journey with you in the future. Sending you strength and kindness.
If only, that's a phrase I don't like to use because that feels like I'm regretting. Yet I'm also thankful that I'm listening to this now. I'm still learning about myself and I'm grateful
Thank you so much for watching this video and sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your openness and honesty. It's wonderful that you're focusing on learning about yourself and being grateful for the journey you're on. Your mindset is inspiring-keep going, and thank you for being here!
This video really hit some tenders areas in me (more awareness). This is a great segue to Attachment Styles. A wonderful video as always - always love listening/watching Gabor Mate. 💙
Im so thankful for Mate Gabors work and speaking out loud. This is the truth. I also experienced it. Im reading and learning about this topic since im a teenager. Started from my childhood problems my family. My fathers alcoholism… the silence, the abusive, unsafe enviroment. I became strong. I did not choose i had to. I became a “soldier” of pain and surviving. I wanted to understand and do it differently. I didn wanted to bring the pain to give it anymore. I wanted to stop this chain. To make a neckless from pearls of love, not the denial .Ofcourse ive been there too. You go through shit. It is a hard job. Long and hard . But this i also choose.not to do it, to take responsibility. While i was listening to the video it came to my mind that Im scared im scared of my choises. Because consciously i know what he is talking about and i dont want to choose pain and hurt. But its so lonely, so fu…g lonely feeling. What can i do? Im still working in my self . I want to connect and feel authetic but also afraid that i choose an abusive man. I want to try , i am trying, but how do i recognize good love If its done i mean determined unconsciously?😢🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing your story so honestly and openly. It takes courage to face and work through such deep pain, especially when it stems from childhood and family struggles. Your strength shines through in every word, and it's inspiring to see how committed you are to breaking the cycle and creating something beautiful out of love and healing. It’s okay to feel scared and lonely sometimes-it’s part of the process of growth and change. The fact that you’re aware of these feelings and working on yourself shows just how much progress you’ve already made. Recognizing good love can be hard when past experiences make it unfamiliar, but trust yourself. Keep learning, keep connecting with your authentic self, and take things one step at a time. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many of us are walking a similar path, and it’s okay to reach out for support when you need it. You’re doing an amazing job, even on the tough days. Sending you so much strength and love
There are endless books about this but here are a few: Keeping the Love you Find by harville Hendricks, Breaking free of the codependency trap by weinhold, The Fantasy Bond by Dr Richard firestone. Fear of Intimacy by R Firestone. A good all around book is The Road Less Traveled M scott peck, MD
The hard thing for me to get good relationship is to find someone who want to hear and listen my feelings, my fear, my doubt that IM just human being full with bad memories of my childhood. i just want my partner understand every my bad thought, my bad feeling just to listen not to respond anything 6:54
thank you so much for watching this video and sharing your thoughts. It means a lot that you feel comfortable opening up here. I’m sorry to hear how hard it’s been to find someone who truly listens and understands. You’re absolutely right-we all carry fears, doubts, and memories that shape who we are. I hope you find the connection and support you deserve. Please remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and your feelings matter.
I read many books by Carl Jung, listened to Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Eckhart Tolle, Bashar etc. To understand that how someone treats you has nothing to do with you, it's their projections etc. All situations are neutral till you put your beliefs, value system etc on...I don't know if this makes sense or helps. All I can say is that I'm the most peaceful & happiest in 30+ years....healing is constant too🙏
Thank you so much for watching this video! Getting better starts with small steps-taking care of yourself, being patient, and trying to make positive changes one day at a time. You’re already on the right path by seeking ways to improve. Keep going, and don’t give up!
Thank you so much for watching this video and for sharing your journey. It’s wonderful to hear how deeply you’ve explored these great thinkers and applied their wisdom to find peace and happiness. What you shared makes perfect sense and is so inspiring-especially the idea that situations are neutral until we add our own perspectives. Healing truly is a lifelong process, and it’s wonderful to know you’ve found so much peace after 30+ years. Thank you for your thoughtful comment 🙏
Is it possible to find partner whose behavior is not disfunctional as our parent was? Is it possible to change the way we love and the way we recieve love? Tnx
Thank you so much for watching this video and for your thoughtful question. Yes, it is possible to find a partner whose behavior is healthier than what we may have experienced growing up. It’s also possible to change how we love and receive love by working on ourselves, understanding our patterns, and healing. It’s not always easy, but with time and effort, it can happen. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
In my humble opinion, no isn't so easy. Because emotionally and chemically you will always find attractive people who harms you in some ways. You have to become aware that what you feel boring It could be actually safe as an example. Your first reaction It could be Always wrong but time after time you can shifts the pattern. I'm still working 😅
My entire adult life was rooted in finding love. Every relationship failed because of my own inner childhood wounds. I am 50 years old now and I had to confront my adult self and my inner child. I have had to learn how to love, parent and truly care for myself. I've been single and celibate for three years now approaching 4 years. Dr. Mate is absolutely brilliant and it begins from the standpoint of his love for humanity and the world. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your journey. It takes so much courage to face our inner wounds and work on healing ourselves. The love and care you’ve learned to give yourself are truly inspiring, and it shows your strength and growth. Dr. Mate’s wisdom resonates so deeply, and it’s wonderful to see how his work has touched your life. Wishing you continued healing and self-love on this beautiful path you’re on. ❤️
Well done👏💜 I'm 47 and just learning this now. So much time wasted and so much health problems later. You are not alone on this journey🙏
I’m comforted in knowing I am not all alone. I have felt so alone all my life. Reading that others have unfortunately had the same upbringing and have become self aware later in life (I am 57) gives me much hope that my journey will lead to peace one day. Thank you all for sharing 🧡
Very nice..keep going. With faith, hope and love all is possible👍✨️😇
Beautifully said. I wish you all the best on your journey! The most important relationship in life is the relationship to yourself.
He said: "GROWING TOGETHER""
is the most profound takeaway!!
Wow, this video really hit home for me. 💔 I never realized how much my childhood experiences were shaping my relationships as an adult. Hearing Dr. Gabor Maté explain how we subconsciously seek the love we didn’t get as kids was such a powerful moment for me. It made me reflect on the patterns I’ve been repeating without even knowing it. I’ve often felt stuck in unhealthy dynamics, and this gave me so much clarity. It’s both heartbreaking and empowering to understand that healing starts with awareness and authenticity. Has anyone else had that “aha!” moment when you realized you were carrying old wounds into your relationships? I’d love to hear your stories and insights. Let’s create a safe space to share and learn from each other. 🙏
#GaborMate, #ChildhoodTrauma, #AttachmentTheory, #HealingJourney, #Relationships, #EmotionalHealth, #TraumaRecovery, #SelfAwareness, #Authenticity, #LoveAndTrauma
Thank you - this video information showed up just as i am deeply working thru the consequences of being raised by an emotionally immature bully .. releasing so much is a special freedom
Thank you so much for watching this video and sharing your thoughts. I’m really glad it came to you at the right time. Releasing those heavy feelings and finding freedom is truly powerful. Wishing you strength and healing on your journey-you deserve it!
I'm sure Gabor won't mind me writing this, but I am currently reading a wonderful book by John Bradshaw, titled " Home Coming . Reclaiming and championing your inner child ". Very, very good . Saying similar things to Gabor . Synchronicity .
Thank you for sharing that recommendation! It’s always great to hear about books that align with the themes we discuss. I’ll definitely check it out!
Wooow, that book must be good. I read John Bradshaw's heal the shame that binds you. I didn't know that book exists (homecoming)
Yes !!!! I’ve been knowing about John for many years . I have all his books and tbh, I haven’t made the time to read them. There is another one called “ the shame that binds us “ All of his work and understanding of childhood trauma was spot on !
John Bradshaw was way ahead of his times
I read and practiced that book by Bradshaw(the pioneer of the inner child work) in the 80,'s and I suggest you read his other books on toxic shame etc..I can't watch this because of the annoying commentator.
Makes so much sense - wish I'd heard this 50 years ago.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I'm so glad this resonated with you.
Ms Rosie,
Grace saw you through these 50 years. Be grateful.😂
@@FernLinLang - 🤣
Beautiful, deep & full of Grace !
Thankyou
I really appreciate your feedback! It means a lot to hear that the video resonated with you.
I've always believed that we were meant to work together with our partner to figure these things out. It takes loyalty, commitment, and perseverance. Those who make it through these challenges together have the richest and most intimate relationships. They are rewarded for doing the actual work. I knew that instinctively and was committed, but my partner was not. I hate that I know this stuff, but have no one to know it with me or share the journey with. I hate him for leaving me and our family.
Thank you so much for watching this video and sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your openness and vulnerability. It’s clear how deeply you value loyalty, commitment, and perseverance in relationships, and it takes strength to express that. I’m so sorry to hear about the pain you’ve experienced-it’s heartbreaking when a partner doesn’t share the same commitment.Please remember, your understanding and dedication are valuable qualities, even if they weren’t reciprocated as they should have been. I hope you find peace and someone who values sharing this journey with you in the future. Sending you strength and kindness.
If only, that's a phrase I don't like to use because that feels like I'm regretting. Yet I'm also thankful that I'm listening to this now. I'm still learning about myself and I'm grateful
Thank you so much for watching this video and sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your openness and honesty. It's wonderful that you're focusing on learning about yourself and being grateful for the journey you're on. Your mindset is inspiring-keep going, and thank you for being here!
This video really hit some tenders areas in me (more awareness). This is a great segue to Attachment Styles. A wonderful video as always - always love listening/watching Gabor Mate. 💙
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad to hear that you appreciate Gabor Maté’s insights. His work truly resonates with so many!
@@yourinnerchildmatters 💙
Im so thankful for Mate Gabors work and speaking out loud. This is the truth. I also experienced it. Im reading and learning about this topic since im a teenager. Started from my childhood problems my family. My fathers alcoholism… the silence, the abusive, unsafe enviroment.
I became strong. I did not choose i had to. I became a “soldier” of pain and surviving.
I wanted to understand and do it differently. I didn wanted to bring the pain to give it anymore. I wanted to stop this chain. To make a neckless from pearls of love, not the denial .Ofcourse ive been there too. You go through shit.
It is a hard job. Long and hard . But this i also choose.not to do it, to take responsibility.
While i was listening to the video it came to my mind that
Im scared im scared of my choises. Because consciously i know what he is talking about and i dont want to choose pain and hurt. But its so lonely, so fu…g lonely feeling.
What can i do? Im still working in my self . I want to connect and feel authetic but also afraid that i choose an abusive man.
I want to try , i am trying, but how do i recognize good love If its done i mean determined unconsciously?😢🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing your story so honestly and openly. It takes courage to face and work through such deep pain, especially when it stems from childhood and family struggles. Your strength shines through in every word, and it's inspiring to see how committed you are to breaking the cycle and creating something beautiful out of love and healing. It’s okay to feel scared and lonely sometimes-it’s part of the process of growth and change. The fact that you’re aware of these feelings and working on yourself shows just how much progress you’ve already made. Recognizing good love can be hard when past experiences make it unfamiliar, but trust yourself. Keep learning, keep connecting with your authentic self, and take things one step at a time. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many of us are walking a similar path, and it’s okay to reach out for support when you need it. You’re doing an amazing job, even on the tough days. Sending you so much strength and love
@ thank you so much! I really apritiate it!
Sending love to all who are struggling.
Very true.
Thank you.
Watching from South-Africa.
I'm glad you found it to be true! It’s a powerful message that resonates with many.
Psychosomatic symptoms triggered -- tensions in the body, upset intestines, ...
Thank you for sharing your experience! It's important to recognize how our emotional health can impact our physical well-being.
yes, the really intense anxiety/nausea is the worst
All sickness is homesickness 😔 !!
Thank you for sharing that thought.
thank you so much for sharing this insightful video.
Thank you for taking the time to watch! I really appreciate your support and hope you found it as enlightening as I did.
Thank you.
You're welcome!
Wow!! Perfect!
Thank you!
Wow ,he is brilliant and what he speek makes soo much Sinn for me. Wow ❤
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s amazing how his perspective can connect with so many people.
Nice, now i know where it all comes from but how to HEAL it?? I would like to HEAR a Real Solution for all this.
Exactly what good is the knowledge with no solution!!
There are endless books about this but here are a few: Keeping the Love you Find by harville Hendricks, Breaking free of the codependency trap by weinhold, The Fantasy Bond by Dr Richard firestone. Fear of Intimacy by R Firestone. A good all around book is The Road Less Traveled M scott peck, MD
@@gailmorgan2556
Thank you - for Sharing.
@miss-mikimi, Jesus came to heal the broken hearted hearted. Isaiah 61:1
@@carmenkamberos1156 No. Jesus would tell us to do our homework!
Excellent advice, thank you ❤
I'm glad you found the advice helpful! It's always great to gain new insights on such important topics.
The hard thing for me to get good relationship is to find someone who want to hear and listen my feelings, my fear, my doubt that IM just human being full with bad memories of my childhood.
i just want my partner understand every my bad thought, my bad feeling just to listen not to respond anything 6:54
thank you so much for watching this video and sharing your thoughts. It means a lot that you feel comfortable opening up here. I’m sorry to hear how hard it’s been to find someone who truly listens and understands. You’re absolutely right-we all carry fears, doubts, and memories that shape who we are. I hope you find the connection and support you deserve. Please remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and your feelings matter.
14:46 Wow...
Watching from 🇭🇷
I really appreciate you watching from Croatia! It means a lot to have such a diverse audience.
So what do we do to get better
I read many books by Carl Jung, listened to Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Eckhart Tolle, Bashar etc. To understand that how someone treats you has nothing to do with you, it's their projections etc. All situations are neutral till you put your beliefs, value system etc on...I don't know if this makes sense or helps. All I can say is that I'm the most peaceful & happiest in 30+ years....healing is constant too🙏
Thank you so much for watching this video! Getting better starts with small steps-taking care of yourself, being patient, and trying to make positive changes one day at a time. You’re already on the right path by seeking ways to improve. Keep going, and don’t give up!
Thank you so much for watching this video and for sharing your journey. It’s wonderful to hear how deeply you’ve explored these great thinkers and applied their wisdom to find peace and happiness. What you shared makes perfect sense and is so inspiring-especially the idea that situations are neutral until we add our own perspectives. Healing truly is a lifelong process, and it’s wonderful to know you’ve found so much peace after 30+ years. Thank you for your thoughtful comment 🙏
Ty❤
Thank you for watching! I appreciate your support and hope you found the video insightful!
Wow,
The books were discovered,
The youtube posts were not done by him,
He even didn't give advise.
It just happened.😮
thanks for watching!
Is it possible to find partner whose behavior is not disfunctional as our parent was? Is it possible to change the way we love and the way we recieve love? Tnx
Thank you so much for watching this video and for your thoughtful question. Yes, it is possible to find a partner whose behavior is healthier than what we may have experienced growing up. It’s also possible to change how we love and receive love by working on ourselves, understanding our patterns, and healing. It’s not always easy, but with time and effort, it can happen. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
In my humble opinion, no isn't so easy. Because emotionally and chemically you will always find attractive people who harms you in some ways. You have to become aware that what you feel boring It could be actually safe as an example. Your first reaction It could be Always wrong but time after time you can shifts the pattern.
I'm still working 😅
Well some of us had large families
Thank you for sharing your perspective!
This . ...
7:02. 😂😂
no need for the interruptions ....explaining what is being said by dr mate....unnecessary and annoying
I appreciate your feedback!