Success is scarier than failure | Jemele Hill | TEDxPSU

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
  • We've been taught to fear failure, but in truth, we're more afraid of success. Here's how you learn to adapt a success-friendly mentality.
    Jemele Hill is a co-host for His & Hers, formerly Numbers Never Lie, with Michael Smith.Hill joined ESPN in November 2006 as a national columnist on ESPN.com. Before joining ESPN, Hill worked as a columnist for the Orlando Sentinel I and a sports writer with the Detroit Free Press. Hill began her career in 1997 as a general assignment sports writer for the Raleigh News & Observer.In 2007, Hill won the first annual McKenzie Cup, which is given in tribute to groundbreaking sports editor Van McKenzie, at the annual Poynter Media Summit. She also received an honorable mention in the 2007 edition of Best American Sports Writing. In 1998, Hill won first place in sports feature writing at the North Carolina Press Association. Hill is also a member of the National Association of Black Journalists.A native of Detroit, Hill attended Michigan State University and graduated in 1997 with a degree in journalism and a minor in Spanish.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

ความคิดเห็น • 210

  • @CoffeeBrainzz
    @CoffeeBrainzz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    Sometimes you feel the ALL the weight on your shoulders, thinking of the expectation/accountability success brings starts to feel stressful and scary

    • @tmiles9747
      @tmiles9747 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Currently 😵‍💫 I'm releasing the expectations 🕊️

    • @dorian7215
      @dorian7215 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That’s how I feel.

    • @fluffytail6355
      @fluffytail6355 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes, I wonder how young celebrities (Taylor Swift, for example) handle the pressure of having the responsibility of providing livelihoods for so many people that depend on her success.

    • @rriver2668
      @rriver2668 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's exactly how I feel. There's that there's the people judging me and what they'll say about my password how I don't deserve what I have. I'm also afraid I'm having impostor syndrome. And it's probably the biggest fear on my heart.

  • @dalton6173
    @dalton6173 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Also there is the fear of changing who you are as a person. The fear of the hate that comes with success, how your closest people might look at you & treat you differently. There is the fear of no privacy if you become successful enough.

    • @KG-og2jj
      @KG-og2jj ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I understand this because I feel the same way.

    • @juliehwang8482
      @juliehwang8482 ปีที่แล้ว

      YUP!

    • @nandamorris
      @nandamorris ปีที่แล้ว

      I think this is the part that I fear most

  • @LorettaBangBang
    @LorettaBangBang 4 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    This topic is SO important and yet pretty much overlooked! Success is terrifying to a lot of people without them even realizing. With an essential impact on their lives!

  • @Mason-ir3yi
    @Mason-ir3yi 8 ปีที่แล้ว +388

    Successful people have something to lose. Unsuccessful people has everything to gain ;)

    • @Lundahlium
      @Lundahlium 8 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Successful people have won, losers have won nothing.

    • @cassiefredell6389
      @cassiefredell6389 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Mason, u have the fear if success

    • @bigboobaaron2196
      @bigboobaaron2196 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@Lundahlium successful people are winning so they might still fall unsuccessful people are can still win even though they've never lost.

    • @thesoul2871
      @thesoul2871 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😋

    • @thesoul2871
      @thesoul2871 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@cassiefredell6389 😂😂😂 these comments it's why I go to youtube

  • @davinarose4015
    @davinarose4015 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I was legit embarassed till I realized how common if a struggle this is... thank you ❤ the success does feel achievable and it gives me anxious tbh and It feels like my heart is curling into a knot with my stomach. .

  • @melissab6976
    @melissab6976 5 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    I really loved this! What she said about writing was so spot on for me. I spent a good chunk of my life living off welfare, with a mentally ill mother and emotionally unavailable/exhausted father, growing up in a toxic religious environment that I never felt like I really belonged in.
    I used to write lots of stories about how I wished life could be, and I'm slowly putting together a series of autobiographical novels about my life and experiences so help others that are going through the same thing.
    No one in my family talked about mum's illness, despite how much it impacted everyone, and everyone in my family has only ever tried to live a normal and what I consider to be mundane life. I'm scared of succeeding because it means going against everything I've ever known and ever been taught, but I know that I've got a lot to share and give to the world, so I don't really have a choice to not succeed.

    • @viktoriapimentel9459
      @viktoriapimentel9459 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Oh my god I love THIS comment! Wish you all the best Melissa, can't wait to read your novels:)

    • @yogi30303
      @yogi30303 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      so did you do it? Or are you still pursuing it?

    • @melissab6976
      @melissab6976 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@yogi30303 still pursuing it, although it's been on the back burner for a while. It's definitely something I want to do.

    • @noreallyiam
      @noreallyiam 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Three years late but oh my goodness, I genuinely thought I wrote this and forgot. Here’s to you and your journey Melissa, all the way from my little room probably miles away. Somewhere out here is a person with a similar experience who is so thrilled to be a witness to whatever you do one day. :)

    • @loskerry2675
      @loskerry2675 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You got this!

  • @sweesiangtan3086
    @sweesiangtan3086 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Stop searching for the reasons you can't and START looking for the reasons you WILL.
    I WILL DO IT BECAUSE....

  • @zoartontheprotector9198
    @zoartontheprotector9198 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Success sets a standard that people expect, and when you fail people that know you notice. Essentially you fear disappointing everyone around you.

  • @rasheeda1303
    @rasheeda1303 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Success creates expectations/accountability(its imperative to ponder)

  • @7shukur
    @7shukur 7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I am so scared of success, every time I am about to succeed I mess up. There is samething within me.

  • @triciabrathwaite9914
    @triciabrathwaite9914 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Watching this 5 years later still has the impact of the first day it was published. Thank you my sister. You are certainly a Queen.

  • @rmgdmv2786
    @rmgdmv2786 9 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    Shout out to Jemele Hill, she's been a trailblazer for years now. She's balances her intelligence with a "homegirl you've known for years" personality that works well together. Much success!

    • @boknowsbaseball
      @boknowsbaseball 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Tony Spade "Trailblazer"? Pretty bold word for someone who bullshits about sports for a living.

    • @shekukamara6421
      @shekukamara6421 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Smart Jemela Hill. Thank you for this inspiring message.

    • @jdogg6789
      @jdogg6789 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Have you ever read her articles in The State News? Do you know her history?

    • @mytunesnocopyright456
      @mytunesnocopyright456 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      +TEDx Talks
      Winner of a video, I have been researching "quote for future success" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Donaac Motivation Magnetar - (search on google ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my cousin got excellent results with it.

  • @nikecontd
    @nikecontd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    As a person who has been told they have potential for many diverse things and who lately has been following their dreams with unexpected success and positive feedback, I am in a state of shock most of the time or feeling on the verge of a panic attack. I'm extremely grateful and I consider myself lucky, at the same time I'm being put on some kind of higher stool and others started glorifying me by saying things like "You're the person others don't compare themselves to because it's just way too out of any league." - at the same time I really am just a normal person and I have troubles finding my place inbetween all of this.

  • @LeilaGharani
    @LeilaGharani 6 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Thank you for sharing your story in such a beautiful way.

  • @melissaearl7770
    @melissaearl7770 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The last thing you said truly hit home. I love your soul.

  • @LLO227
    @LLO227 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    8 years later and I finally got this message, thanks Miss Jemele ❤️

  • @kaybest4191
    @kaybest4191 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Cried at the point when she said both her parents had addiction issues Wow she is definitely a role model that speaks on her truths Very well done.

  • @ragibperwez
    @ragibperwez 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love this ted talk, and the wisdom she gave ❤ turn your negatives into positives. Thank you Jemele hill.

  • @coachcarter5554
    @coachcarter5554 9 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Honest Joe your last comment was so on point. That women's personality and the way she conducts herself is exactly what makes her beautiful. I just need to run into her one time.

  • @ynotmi
    @ynotmi 9 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    this is why I know my choice to add/follow you and your career is moments like this, so proud of you!

  • @jamiew1664
    @jamiew1664 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Hi jemele, just watched your video in my downtime at work here in Sydney Australia. You seem like a wonderful woman. Great video. I’m very talented but at the same time I’m absolutely petrified of success, so I end up wasting my talents. I plan to try and stop this before time runs out!

  • @shalzone_
    @shalzone_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    people who really know how loosing feels like are the ones who win the the most

  • @ramprasadgude4981
    @ramprasadgude4981 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I had experienced it myself....Turn negatives into positives. Thank you

  • @gino6658
    @gino6658 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for this!

  • @supremelord964
    @supremelord964 8 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    she is so beautiful

    • @AppleSlicesUnite
      @AppleSlicesUnite 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Math God yes she is.

    • @scottt2012
      @scottt2012 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Math God yes, very pretty

    •  7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She's fugly.

    • @melissaearl7770
      @melissaearl7770 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @ behold the smarty pants and his idea of beauty....

  • @Beingthankful
    @Beingthankful ปีที่แล้ว

    This actually made me cry ...

  • @edgarosofernandez
    @edgarosofernandez 8 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    A humble Lady

  • @dinorahhenriquez7295
    @dinorahhenriquez7295 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow deep words a wiser way of turning the negatives things in life and use them as your path through sucess.Blessings.

  • @Sirhilyish
    @Sirhilyish 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Turn the negative into positive ; that's so good. Thanks for sharing your story . Very inspiring :-)

  • @fluffytail6355
    @fluffytail6355 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am afraid of success. I know it sounds strange. I've always been an employee, just like my mother, but never a self-employed like my father. My mother had a stable life-long career as a Registered Nurse and made good money at it - enough to support my brother and I with all of our school and sports activities. She also had good benefits so we could see doctors, paraprofessionals, dentists and eye doctors. While Dad was a farmer, he never had benefits (he was covered under Mom's employee plan) and didn't have money for extras the family needed - his income only supporting his farming career and not the rest of the family's expenses. So, naturally, I received a lot of support to get an education with the goal of "getting a good job." As such, I did. I've spent 30 years working for someone else to make THEIR business successful while I've been told when to work and have had to beg for vacation days off at my schedule (boss' vacation days were always a priority with everyone else having to work around them) then came the boss' office pets whose vacation requests were always approved regardless of the ask. I've been at work when others left and kept the place going. This entire time, I envied my Dad's ability to work when he wanted, other than honoring the needs of the crops and the cattle. As I get older, I get more concerned about my career. No longer do I want to be supervised by people younger than me, whose needs prioritize mine. No longer do I want to be victimized by ageism in favor of younger colleagues who have the luxury of living at home and working for a smaller salary or be considered "overqualified" (a fancy term used to prevent me from being paid at a higher income bracket). I want to be self-employed but am fearful of having success after being punched down my entire life of people not believing in me - it affects my self-worth and self-belief - and to lose the "safety net" of having a regular income with benefits that makes me feel stable, a throwback to the stability my Mom had. I want to have the opportunity to be rewarded for my own efforts and to earn an income I deserve based on my work. I have much work to do on this, especially rebuilding my mental health and self-esteem to believe in myself again. Thank you for listening. Sometimes I need to just get things off my chest to be able to breathe again.

  • @jameslsmoot8496
    @jameslsmoot8496 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great job, Jemele, very well spoken, I've always been a big fan of your professionalism and your love of sports and you are a beautiful woman, keep doing what you do.

  • @forevercalirarebreed
    @forevercalirarebreed 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Definitely motivation!

  • @waiotahi52
    @waiotahi52 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Ok, this hit home....so why am I crying.....

  • @asiadorsey7969
    @asiadorsey7969 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Turning negatives into positives. Thank you so much Jemele!

  • @SoulLoveBase
    @SoulLoveBase 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i remember walking 20 minutes to our local newstand in Nongkhai to purchase the Bangkok Post hoping that the Vancouver Canucks had beaten the New York Rangers in Game 7. I remember it, and the distinct feeling I had when reading the results. That feeling will not leave me, not for nothing.

  • @LootableCorpse
    @LootableCorpse ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This whole time I thought she was building up to something right up until the video ended. So the conclusion was that every failure can be turned into success? What about the fear of success? I thought we were gonna talk about how to solve that problem. How did she overcome her deepest fear or how did she deal with it? At 4:30 she says there are two ways to change how we envision success to be more real. Then she says "I think you have to turn all your negatives into positives. All the reasons you can't have to become the reasons that you will." Where is the second way? Did she forget to tell us?

  • @FrOsTyBeArKiD
    @FrOsTyBeArKiD 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I relate to this feeling. And I’m even afraid of being more successful than my own parents. Her stories were interesting but it took over 8 minutes to actually talk about the actual fear of success.

  • @DatGirlAlicia
    @DatGirlAlicia ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you breaking it down for me! I couldn’t put it into words.

  • @curiouslymavismade
    @curiouslymavismade ปีที่แล้ว

    This was a beautiful speech from a beautiful woman, inside and out. Love me some Jemele Hill.

  • @CK-ic8jg
    @CK-ic8jg 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Eloquent.. Inspiring.

  • @justmadyo
    @justmadyo ปีที่แล้ว

    Its true🙂

  • @eternalyfeful
    @eternalyfeful 8 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    I love this! This woman is my total package!

    • @eternalyfeful
      @eternalyfeful 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Alejandro Ramos...she doesn't look like a man, now she may not be your style and that's cool but she surely doesn't look like a man.

    • @eternalyfeful
      @eternalyfeful 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The King in the North...she ain't fat, she's what we call "thick", you trippin.

    • @eternalyfeful
      @eternalyfeful 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The King in the North...I don't know, you can say you're not attracted to her and that's fine but she is FAR from being fat.

    • @uhurusasa2190
      @uhurusasa2190 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Alejandro Ramos So then, looks better than you ?

  • @reginadavis1028
    @reginadavis1028 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great talk Mele and she looks amazing!

  • @mrom544
    @mrom544 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for keeping it real!

  • @Manish79
    @Manish79 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    success should not be measured

    • @jbetts214
      @jbetts214 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      manish ayare success is when you become who you were created to be, when you have fulfilled your purpose for being.

  • @unicornlight8251
    @unicornlight8251 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    hope the failures will be the reason i succeed

  • @puffoffluffedair543
    @puffoffluffedair543 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Biggest fear is getting to that place you’ve always ruminated on and it’s not what you thought it was, or it’s worse. That’s a disappointment I’ll never be able to handle lmfao it feels a bit safer when ur closer the ground

  • @sunnyraskar7386
    @sunnyraskar7386 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Absolutely outstanding attitude. I love her!!!

  • @anotherdroid493
    @anotherdroid493 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    2:08 “Imagine being on the beach 🏖 in Cabo and someone bringing you a Corona..” 🤣 Nooooo..

  • @ahmedabdallah1058
    @ahmedabdallah1058 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks jemilli for giving us these valuable informations

  • @NkrumahTure
    @NkrumahTure 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I loves me some Jemele Hill. Continued success.

  • @smilemka3342
    @smilemka3342 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is so challenging to perspectives !

  • @202020morehourstogo
    @202020morehourstogo 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you!! This was so inspiring and helpful!

  • @odefeoberabor7597
    @odefeoberabor7597 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She didn't get that standing ovation though. 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @kenduwilliamson5436
    @kenduwilliamson5436 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I know people tell her this all the time but I'm gonna say it anyway. She is beautiful!

  • @khalidm.q.2639
    @khalidm.q.2639 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Seriously though; DO NOT touch the Godfather, Hollywood!

  • @yellooh
    @yellooh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Truth

  • @HealingUTV
    @HealingUTV 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great presentation from Jemele Hill - amazing that success is so scary hey - crazy :)

  • @smwd2591
    @smwd2591 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you, you have awared me of something.

  • @teajelmore
    @teajelmore ปีที่แล้ว

    That was powerful!

  • @roypatton9070
    @roypatton9070 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love her

  • @elizabethsisenda
    @elizabethsisenda 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hopeful message..very inspiring..all things work for good..very lady like for sports/tommy

  • @wellbodisalone
    @wellbodisalone หลายเดือนก่อน

    For some, being successful means that they can lose everything they built in a blink of an eye, and prefer not to take their chances.

  • @James67851
    @James67851 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I got denied the job in at least 10 interviews for a Network Engineer, I really lost count but kept interviewing until I finally got the job. All of the interviews that I was denied the job only made me stronger for the next one. I became an expert at interviewing.

  • @summerlopez4176
    @summerlopez4176 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Magnificent!!!!! No other words needed

  • @alextoliver994
    @alextoliver994 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This helps me! Thank you!

  • @cinammondream
    @cinammondream 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What an amazing Ted Talk!!!

  • @dhanstad5
    @dhanstad5 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    A good example of personable public speaking

  • @nattacev9954
    @nattacev9954 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank youu

  • @adammorrison1962
    @adammorrison1962 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks. I needed that

  • @danielkulessa2987
    @danielkulessa2987 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    hope full message for us and new generation. penetrating such message to the generation is one of a ways for success. thank you great for suggestion

  • @baylee8659
    @baylee8659 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this :)

  • @jessbeblessed7
    @jessbeblessed7 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow, I loved it!

  • @drkaustubhwagh9779
    @drkaustubhwagh9779 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    absolutely correct

  • @kareemsmith8957
    @kareemsmith8957 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    where's my love emoji when I need it?

  • @JusMaqiK
    @JusMaqiK 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She's so Fine!!!

  • @Keana43
    @Keana43 ปีที่แล้ว

    Interesting

  • @cbread208
    @cbread208 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great job Jemele!

  • @MsTolatola
    @MsTolatola 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Amazing

  • @ttmazz1
    @ttmazz1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Beauty is her name.

  • @chrisspa930
    @chrisspa930 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    WOW what a amazing Video. Don´t stop doing this. Bye Chris

  • @sarahbc7720
    @sarahbc7720 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    HUGE

  • @realydna
    @realydna 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    🌊🖤🌊

  • @allandiaz9302
    @allandiaz9302 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    video ends at 01:20

  • @AaaaAa-yf6ku
    @AaaaAa-yf6ku 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Gootd talk

  • @jasonwoods3667
    @jasonwoods3667 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She's a true testament to the downfall of Sportscenter/ESPN.

  • @eklctc1Kng1arrw
    @eklctc1Kng1arrw 7 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    She looks like she could be Oprah's daughter. Both beautiful women.

  • @markblackhurst6925
    @markblackhurst6925 ปีที่แล้ว

    Luckily I never have success. I’ve never been promoted. Twice when I asked why I didn’t get promoted, I got told it’s because I was by far the most productive in my department. They couldn’t afford to lose me from the productive level into management. So working hard and achieving stellar results is definitely not going to get you success. Be lazy, that’s how you get success.

  • @PinkYellowGreen2023
    @PinkYellowGreen2023 ปีที่แล้ว

    🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @galactus4mac
    @galactus4mac 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She says 'even you guys in the cheap seats' shows how out of touch this human being really is.

  • @orvovosk
    @orvovosk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yes but only reason why you are afraid of accountability is because you will not be able to handle it. so it is still fear of failure.

  • @whoman7489
    @whoman7489 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    suffering from success

  • @derekj5519
    @derekj5519 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great job Jemele

  • @mzilg
    @mzilg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She has a beautiful voice!! 🤓👍💙

  • @jdogg6789
    @jdogg6789 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I didnt get the option for any stipulations. I had to pay. Why?

  • @syedafiza5116
    @syedafiza5116 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    🙌🙌🙌

  • @relativegifrelativegif8369
    @relativegifrelativegif8369 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ah shucks , when I closed my eyes and imagined success, it DID feel real and tangible to me, it felt like I could do it
    But I was surprised when she said that it didn’t feel real to all of us 🤔

  • @guineeeg1
    @guineeeg1 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are very right Jemele! We are in a (matrix) kinda, so i believe many things happen for a reason...Therefore good or bad, think about left and about right attitude is good to have to move forward in any situation. 👏

  • @davidlis7974
    @davidlis7974 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have this fear I'm failing Hight school not due to resources just I'm scared to succeed and go out in to the world and i don't believe that i can meet those expectations but i have that disire to succeed but its just so much

  • @enricoweeks2282
    @enricoweeks2282 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    😍😉😘🎉🎊jemele hill my love keep # 100 you r espn.💘