It’s actually a great thing trying out lots of different things when young instead of wondering “what if” when older and waking up in the middle of a career.
@@greenthinggg Of course! To be fair, I believe any age is young enough to try new things. But up until your 20's you're still in career entry age and most companies won't look twice if you're starting at these ages. I'm finishing my degree on Performing Arts and I'm just starting to understand what my dream job is. And there are still plenty of things I want to try.
As a gifted child, my parents were surprised when I learned to write and read on my own at the age of 4. I had a deep interest in books and enjoyed forming words by arranging letters on a blackboard, which contributed to my rapid learning. During primary school, I found subjects to be relatively easy, consistently earning grades of 8, 9, and 10. However, as I transitioned to high school, everything changed, and I realized that I needed to put in effort to achieve good grades. Suddenly, I felt less intelligent compared to my classmates. Alongside academic challenges, I also struggled with my social life during adolescence, leading me to perceive myself as a failure. Consequently, I embarked on a journey of learning various skills, such as playing the guitar, singing, embroidery, 2D animation, 3D modeling, and skating. However, I found myself randomly abandoning these pursuits. To this day, I remain uncertain about my true preferences and interests, as I tend to quit both the things I started and those I never pursued further 🙃
@@tw_adam Try to not compare yourself to others and start doing things without thinking about the end result, more like enjoying the process. Dont be too hard on yourself, understand that you are a human being and we are not good at everything. If you need external help, ask your parents if they can afford you a therapist so that you have a safe space to talk and get to know yourself better.
Unpopular take: it's ok to "quit", aka move on from things that no longer fulfill you, especially if it's not that you're leaving the activity behind because it's too hard and makes you feel like giving up, but it feels like it's not worth it anymore, and no longer bringing what it used to give you. Just like relationships, moving apart isn't necessarily a failure! People grow, change and evolve, and not all progress is linear, either. You're not either improving or quitting. Get to know yourself to know why you're actually giving up on this particular path, though!
I feel the same. And she was only such a small child when the parents put this burden on her. It was the same with my parents (also Asian). I think it's unfair. We are alive to try different things and there's nothing wrong with giving up after a while and doing something new.
Just, before quitting, analyze if you're quitting because your mind state is too jumbled or if you're quitting out of your true feelings. If you're not on your right mindset, anything becomes murky and a terrible experience, so its not really worth to quit something just because you're depressed, regarding you probably still like that activity.
@@VOlDNOVA Completely agree! And depending on your state of mind, you can just take a break instead! But sometimes, doing the thing anyway will give you more energy, and faith in yourself, depends on the situation
@@unk4617 it depends if we're talking about something that gives you financial security vs a hobby for example! obviously then you don't decide in the same way. it's not risky to put aside (not necessarily forever) a hobby that has been feeling like a chore for months for example, unless there's some parameter of doing it competitively
Former gifted child here. I remember being praised by my peers for my intelligence growing up, but my parents rarely took my interests or goals seriously. I won't write my autobiography because an article from The Onion titled "Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy" summarizes it well enough. I started getting interested in data science from watching your videos, Tina, but I have yet to break through. Being in the early days of the next big tech revolution seems to be complicating matters. Managers either seem to be afraid of A.I. or expect new hires to be seasoned experts on new technology. Meanwhile, folks like me are struggling to keep our heads above water amid the deluge of new systems and techniques. It's becoming easy to fall into the comfortable pattern of assuming failure and balking when confronted by obstacles.
I am facing the same situation too I want to study ML and AI, but I heard that most data scientist just do excel jobs , companies dont know what to do with their skills. Honestly, it feels very difficult to know where to start and what to expect from the future.
I was in gifted classes in elementary and middle school. In high school, I rapidly discovered that my reward for superior work was just more work. "Oh, you did all the even problems in 5 minutes while the rest of the class is still working? Now do the odd problems, and if you don't, I'll mark you down." "Oh, you finished the test in 10 minutes instead of 40? Just sit quietly. No, you can't read because it isn't an open book test and I don't care that you already turned it in, I'll mark you as cheating even if it's a novel, which you shouldn't be reading in this class." "Well, I can see why the other kids don't like you when you keep breaking the curve." Yeah, I learned to not stand out in high school. In college, however, I had no problem putting my foot down and talking back, because I made certain I could back up what I said. If I disagreed with the instructor, I did my homework and wouldn't back down just because the instructor tried to assert authority. In a trigonometry class, I and one other student got a different answer than everyone else. The teacher tried to just say I was wrong, but I actually stood on my desk and stomped my foot and reminded the teacher that trigonometry is based on proofs, not on I-said-so. Turns out there was an issue with the word problem, it left out a factor that depended on your assumptions as to which way the angles opened, towards each other or away. "You're supposed to assume they open away", she said. I held up the textbook and said "show me". We got credit for our answer. Other problems specified which way, so there was no reason for me to assume. I got an award for creating an original proof for an old problem, which shows I did know my stuff. I was just as bad in other classes, AND on the rare occasion I was proven wrong I readily admitted it. That's how we learn.
excuse me but as a still-gifted-child the first sentence is just so hilarious. "you were gifted but you're not anymore" is just so funny because i am still experiencing how extremely difficult being gifted is. usa is such a funny country.
I had the same thing happen, only i wasn't gifted. I was so average and unable to see for most of my early years in school to the point where everyone around me thought I had some type of handicap. So I spent up until around age 10 being told i'm stupid and not to bother doing certain things. Once I got glasses my grades improved but the damage was done, and parents stopped taking an interest in me anyway. I didn't start feeling safe to explore what interested me until nearly 40
@@aubreymorgan9763 In 4th grade nobody took me serious when i said I couldn't see the chalkboard. I finally started getting out of my seat and walking up to it. The teacher gave me a hard time about it until I pitched enough of a fit that my parents were called in the the counselor suggested I have my eyes checked. Oh, look, turns out I DID need glasses.
I feel like my takeaway from this is a combination of rewarding myself for the effort rather than the outcome and allowing myself to explore different areas of interest.
@@alberthwastaken Sometimes. When the reward turns out not to be meaningful, then quite the opposite of that "kick" happens, and it becomes extremely demotivating going forward. I think this is what the study Tina referred to in the video was getting at.
Its weird for me. I was a gifted kid. From a gifted kid, i turned into a problem child struggling with an alcoholic parent. Skipping, fights, failing... My mom used to tell me many people have said to her that I was intelligent but If i would just stop being lazy then maybe I would be on top. I too had many stuff given up, and here is a list of all of them: Dancing Crocheting Painting Roller-skating Cosplaying Debating Writing Guitar Ukelele Kalimba Working out (I am a yoyo at this) Digital Art (This one is going on until today, In fact, I am trying to hone this skill because I refuse to give up on this.)
I am a gifted child. I knew that this fucked me up in some ways (perfectionism), but I didn't realize that this played a role in my lack of grit when it comes to hobbies, personal ambitions, and art. I didn't realize that I didn't get encouraged for trying and putting in effort. I was just expected to be good at everything with no help. Because I was intelligent, I didn't have to try as hard in K-12, but this backfired when I went to art school. So much of art is discipline. My parents never really encouraged me to do the arts or recognized my efforts, only the end results if they could brag about it to others. Overall, your video is having me realize an area I need to reparent myself in: recognizing my own efforts and my journey regardless of whether I fail or not. I am fortunate to be dating someone who does this naturally. Rather than praising my intelligence, they praise my efforts. I also had a therapist in the past that encouraged my efforts. Thank you for this awareness raising, Tina, and I also thank all of the people who loved me who recognize my efforts even when I fail.
Sounds like me, I can never stay in a job for long, I get physically and mentally exhausted after a bit and I believe this is because I don’t feel like I’ve been made to work for companies as I don’t agree with their values, I feel like a slave working towards someone else’s success, I feel less valued and just unhappy. I am working towards my own goals to be able to work for myself, do something I love, help other people, be financially free and flexible - work whenever I want! That’s my dream 🥳
I have ADHD and just discovered it a couple of years ago. This sounds like me. I find that all those things I lost interest in becomes useful later on.
@@vivianpurplemess Hi, sorry just saw this. Just a small and recent example, years ago I was really into photography and like most things after a while I lost interest over time. Fast forward a few years later, I can use all that photography knowledge when prompting with AI to create better photographic images. I hope that make sense. I just follow my curiosity and don't get so hard on myself for "quitting" or "losing" interest. It's up to you how you find it useful.
This was probably one of the best youtube videos I've watched in a while. It was to the point and honest, not boring or slow.. I also have so much more insight into myself and how I function as I related to nearly everything you said. Along with this, I have new strategies of thinking and helping myself work through these. The Renaissance soul is something I greatly recognize in myself, but I never was able to see it in a positive light until now. Thank you so much for this video- I never write comments half as long as this so I hope that goes to show how much I loved it.
I resonate so much with this video. My professional journey has been crazy, but I love it. I'm 28, and I graduated in advertising. Then, I did my master's in communication and digital design, and now I'm on my second degree in System Analysis. Besides that, I worked with photography, music, video editing, design, social media, English teaching, and more. When I try to explain to people what I do, I never have a straight answer.
My list: -Full time job -Air Force reserves (24 hours a month) -school full time -slowly start free lancing (to save for house) - maintain relationship with family, boyfriend, and friends - learn Spanish I never liked cleaning but at this point I’m happy when I get a half day at home just to fold laundry so I can wake up in a clean room. I usually burnout after I fold everything and it just sits on my bed 😂
can combine some of the Spanish learning with the cleaning. listening to a podcast or program in Spanish while cleaning, thats what I've started to do. I only clean like once or twice a week outside of dishes so it works out ok for some extra listening practice.
I'm AuDHD (autism and ADHD), and I finally figured out how to clean stuff without burning out. I make tiny habits to clean in such tiny pieces that it doesn't feel like I'm stopping to clean. For example, I clean something tiny in my bathroom every time I use it, even if that means just using a piece of toilet paper to "mop" a 5 inch by 5 inch piece of the floor. I keep a wash cloth in the room to wipe down the sink after each time I wash my hands, because it gets water everywhere. Whenever I see the mirror has a splotches, I get some TP wet, wipe it down, and then dry it. Works like a charm! My toilet has a bidet, so I wipe the water off the toilet, which ends up cleaning a fair bit of it regularly. Plus I dust the toilet a bit quickly when I notice it. And I quickly use the toilet brush whenever I see the need. I used to never clean. Now I clean multiple times a day, in tiny little pieces, and it has actually become FUN!! I even clean a little part of public bathrooms now, too, just to keep the habit up and because it is fun. As for laundry, when I get dressed in the morning, I try to pick from my clean clothes basket when I remember. Whenever I change my clothes, I try to remember to take out at least one thing from the basket to put away. And when I take off a shirt or something that is still clean, I immediately out it away in the closet. I gave specifically made it so all the hangers are on one side, and developed the habit of taking the shirt off the rack along with the hanger, rather than just taking off the shirt, so that hangers are easy to find.
Yeah this is me. I went from wanting to be a Barber, Camera man, Music Producer, White Hat Hacker, Video Game Developer, Sci-Fi Writer, Bodybuilder, Pro Gamer, Stock Market Trader, to now a Virtual Reality App Developer. And I spent money on education and tools for all of these. It's an expensive way to live 😂. I'll get it together one day.
Hey , Do you want yo learn virtual reality app , I also Did That Spending 3 Months of mine ... Because It fascinates me , But than I quit 😅 After learning and taking certification ....
i can relate so hard, i am a software engineer, UI designer, Video editor, Film maker, Phootgrapher, and game artist. For now i am focusing on getting a job at sony game studios or learn how to make games
Have you checked if it's not something like ADHD? because the deep and intense, but lasting only few months to year hobbies are one of those things that seem to happen in relation to that. It looks terribly lot like a pattern among my friends with ADHD diagnoses at least (weird stuff; you make friends as autistic person and then basically everyone you get along with well turns out to have ADHD) of course it's not like, diagnostically useful, but to consider. Since it is indeed expensive way to live.
here's my greedy list!: 1. engineering work (day job): learning 2. playing games for $ (while at work...shh...): mastered (cuz anyone can do this) 3. surveys for $ (...also while at work sometimes...I have issues): mastered (cuz see above) 4. digital marketing/leasing course + research: learning 5. watch TH-cam for more side hustle ideas: learning 6. work out and keep Mediterranean diet (b/c I'm currently getting paid $ to and it's good for my back injury--I once was a competitive figure skater too!): mastered (cuz I'm following pre-set workouts and it's a no-brainer) 7. journaling for therapy: need to work on consistency ^^ I took the quiz and it said I'm a self-saboteur--while I can see a bit of that in myself, I also think I could be suffering from burnout and don't even try even though I know what I need to do to succeed. Also, my social anxiety just gets worse and worse the more I withdraw. I also have fear of failure, especially if I have/had to lose a lot of time and $.
Keep exploring at www.brilliant.org/TinaHuang/. Get started for free, and hurry-the first 200 people get 20% off an annual premium subscription. Also I knowwww my face is very shiny this video 😭
I was a gifted child growing up in elementary school but things changed a lot for me as early as middle school; I never was motivated to work hard because I never had to before, yet when I got Cs on tests I took it as I'm not naturally smart enough to do better. It took me until senior year of high school and early college to finally wake up and realize my mindset was garbage. If I'm going to be successful in life I'm going to need to work very hard regardless of my intelligence. I can't expect to be handed things for being smart, and no one should. I think not getting perfect grades in middle school and most of high school has helped me deal with failure and knowing I'm not always going to be perfect, but I can totally understand how someone like me could still struggle with it even at my age. Tina if you're reading this I'm curious if you were a gifted child as well and if so what were your experiences?
it's crazy how what happened in our childhoods influences so much of our lives huh? Does my mom telling me I'm smart count? hahah jkjk we didn't have this concept of gifted child where I grew up but I never was really the best at anything. I do decent at most things. I hated school and skipped a lot (which is why I'm so into self studying I guess). But always got good enough grades that teachers didn't bother me too much about skipping school 🤔
Yes my mother told me I was a genuius every day! And now I'm 35 and working as a server. But now I'm teaching myself python... don't feel like a genius now LOL... Your content is so relatable! Thank you!
I spent 30 years living In a country that's similar to China in terms of parenting. And yes, I'm never good enough. Therefore I apparently self-sabotage. Your test actually proved what my friend said before she died. I do start learning a lot of things but nowadays I just feel like I'm too old to always start over. But I still can't just cruise. Love your videos and lunch and learns. You work hard, we appreciate you!
Idk how old you are, but I doubt it matters. As long as you can financially support yourself and have a plan to support yourself when you're too old to work or if you get injured, then you're good! Do whatever you want, even if it means switching jobs a lot. Have another job lined up before you quit the last, to keep it stable for you and anyone you're supporting. It's your life. Have some (planned) fun! You don't have to follow the boring template society offered. The way I see it, we learn from the pain of difficulty, so why avoid the pain of difficulty? Have some fun trying different things at different times. Most of the judgement you fear from others is just imagined, anyway. Be wise. Support yourself and your family. Be ready for retirement and emergencies. Don't hurt anybody. Honor your life. Serve others. You can do those things while still having fun with different jobs, hobbies, and interests.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this video. Everything you said resonated very strongly with me, in particular the traits of the gifted child, the doom spiral and the renaissance soul. My whole life I’ve seen myself as a quitter. I cannot stick and truly fall in love with a single subject, like my sister did with biology or my husband with engineering and electronics. I don’t have any hobbies either because I want to do everything and end up not doing anything. This is why when you mentioned the concept of the renaissance soul I had an “EUREKA!” moment. Now I know it’s not really a weakness but a hidden skill that I need to learn to develop and use it in my favour. Again, thank you!
I'm totally a Ditto. I went to a performing arts high school and joined the orchestra in large part because my mother always wanted to be able to play an instrument and thought it would help pay for college. But the time I got done with high school, I didn't want to play anything anymore.
I have struggled ny whole life with this and have had the hardest time trying to understand it because I knew it would keep me from living a fulfilling life. Im overjoyed at the information you have provided in this video! It has made so many things make sense and has given me the perspective shift I desperately needed. Thank you so much for sharing! ❤
I’ve always been a fast learner, and I’ve always got bored with most of things I did, but some of them I definitely liked more and got back to them from time to time. I’m studying Japanese at the uni now, so I’m gonna be an interpreter or a translator. And I’ve found out that a lot of knowledge I have is in a huge use in this sphere. I still have a lot of things I want to do - from continuing studying HTML to becoming a TH-camr and writer, but I really see, that I can use most of things I know and connect them somehow, though sometimes I blame myself for not being good enough in any of the spheres I’m interested in (except for Ukrainian, maybe. 87%)
Timecode 5:42. Video paused, staring agape at the screen. "Let me know if you were a gifted kid who has this extreme fear of failure." Holy lightning bolt, Batman. I had never heard that correlation before. I feel a physical reaction to this revelation. I wonder if (finally) understanding the association will help me to overcome it. I love the concept of leaning into having a Renaissance Soul. It's been a continual conflict running up against all the times I've tried-and failed-to zero in on one thing and do it and only it well. Thank you!
Great video!. The gifted child breakdown was very helpful and gave me awareness on how I had viewed myself in the past based on the encouragement I received and how I can catch myself not repeating these old habits with my kids.
YES! Content Creator. And got a MS in Comp Sci from U Penn - These are not easy stuff. It must take a lot of work! It's a fine line between trying out something and quitting. It's all about intentions. Most important, do something with your time. Even if you failed or quit, you learned something. Personally, worked 5 jobs to support myself last 2 yrs of college; while going to classes full time. One good thing to remember.
Former gifted child here. I have started so many projects, neither finished nor quit almost any of them for fear of failure. All those open loops weigh heavy on me (in form of physical and mental clutter).
@@clarewillison9379 Not diagnosed with that, so I don't know. But not exactly neurotypical either. And like many with some issues accidentally caused by parents.
@@Ph34rNoB33r For years I thought I was just weird (and was told I was weird) but then my niece who I adore and people said is “so like you” was diagnosed with ADHD and I started reading and watching videos and then took the test. Not only do I tick all the boxes (with highest score!) but realised in the process what accounted for my dad’s memory, attention, amazing ability in different fields yet rarely finishing projects wasn’t as he said, “probably just being lazy” but also ADHD. Might be worth finding an online test to rule it in or out. Even if we can’t take medications, it’s helped me massively to understand myself and beat myself up much less. (Though we also have to deal with resurgent resentment towards those who could have done something to help, like teachers who just wrote me off at 13 when I went from top of the class to all over the place and didn’t even try to understand.🤬) Anyway, apologies for butting in, and hope you aren’t offended. Hope 2024 will be a good year for you x
I technically never got into the gifted program, but I was always praised by teachers, peers, family members and friends on my intelligence, I have always been trying to learn new things, and I talked a lot about them, not to mention I also tested really high in several areas regarding pattern recognition, memory recall and so on. Now I am in grade 12 and I have no motivation to do anything and will probably not get into any cool programs :/. I also have ADHD!
took the test got the greedy one as a response. I really liked all the questions as they were clear and concise and I was able to answer them with honesty. Another thing I want to say this is one of the most relatable videos I have ever watched. Interesting fact I watched one your videos where you explained the difference between software engineering and data science and thats what helped me decide to choose my career path. So thank you soo much and pls dont quit youtube ever people like me need you :))
I want to learn everything too Tina... 😂 Have 2 stem degrees. Physics and biomathematics. Currently learning Mandarin. Trying to find time to continue learning guitar. Also trying to find time to learn Unity. All while still having to work... My problem is I need to solve the problem of needing sleep.
I can help you with unity , I learnt Unity and than AR / VR development .... But That's also true that after learning and making AR/VR applications I quit ...
When I was a kid, they asked me what I wanted to be...and I wanted to be.. a Laywer, Veterinarian, Writer, Artist, Baker... and I remember my mother saying 'You'll be in school forever.' I honestly loved that idea, and then spend 7 years in undergrad, moving between majors (after spending a few months in art school and leaving that), then graduated in Psychology but.. like.. I straddled Psych, Anthro, and Bio.. then went into my masters for Cog and Behavioral, but didn't finish that, am now in heathcare, and now circling into paint supplies, potentially, as a business. So yeah, OOFTA.
I feel so much with this video, it's so me. I'm still all over the place playing like 7 musical instruments, working with coding, writing, digital art, traditional art, gaming, worldbuilding, roleplaying, sculpting, jewelry making etc etc etc... I can't seem to choose just one thing to focus on. And I always quit after a time of hyper-focus and then I pick it up again a year later... I don't know. But I'm autistic and have ADHD as well so I don't know if that's it with me ;) But shall I be completely honest? I like the way I circle around things and hyper-focusing and pick up things later. I don't feel the need to change quite yet.
This is the most reassuring video and comment thread that I've seen in a while, lol. I literally just posted a video about my journey of trying to find a passion (I was that child who was good at everything and wanted to be a mathematician, an author, a detective, an interior designer, a computer scientist, a historian 🙃) and jumping from one craft/skill/career direction to another. Someone then recommended this video and I'm so glad they did, looks like I've found my tribe 😃
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn Monroe
Yeah same, I went from sweating myself aiming to get into architecture school, to my second choice BSc chemistry, then to 2 different diplomas in architecture & arts. And now I'm doing AI related work after a data science bootcamp. I also bartended, was a barista, sold some cars and little things on social media in my college years. Plus I have a dog and sing & upload some covers in my spare times as well. Just live a life fully, your job & income source is to have more choices in life, not the other way around.
related to almost everything you said and I almost quit this video in the middle which proves how bad the problem is..am glad i didn’t, thank you so much for sharing
Think we're very similar. I've dropped out of education 5 times (I've been to university 3 times but only have one undergrad degree). Built a different YT channel to 20k subs but even that don't motivate me. But recently, I spoke a psychiatrist and he told me something about my psychie that I never knew and I finally feel like I know myself better now.
Something to keep in mind when doing anything, everything usually follows a pattern or formula, humans are great at recognizing patterns, pattern recognition is an amazing skill to have!!! And is also another reason not to quit something you really like. Nothing is impossible. ❤
I don’t know if I was a gifted child, but certainly I was praised a lot for my intelligence and creativity as a child. As an adult, I want to be a writer, but my creative writing mentor and I had a very problematic relationship. She criticised my favourite author until I felt so ashamed of liking and enjoying that author's work, that I gave away all my books. I was definitely a Ditto with my mentor! And she praised my creative writing skills (though often laced with backhanded criticism) to the point that it became tied to my self worth. I used to love writing because it was fun, and made me feel like my heart was singing, like a child at play, now I can’t bring myself to write anything, because I'm not good enough and I never will be. My writing became about trying to earn my mentor's approval and praise. I still dream of becoming a writer, because of the happy childhood memories I have of reading, watching and writing stories. My mentor said she didn’t think I really wanted to be a writer, because I told her it was no longer fun, but it wasn't fun anymore once I stopped writing for myself and started writing either for my mentor or people online. Also, my mentor would compare my writing to that of my online friends, tell me mine was better which led to me developing a superiority complex. I still want to write. But I don't think I ever will now thanks to my mentor.
Thank you ! I have the ''never start nothing because it's too scary to start something new'' type of things... Learning everyday something, or improving something to quit my full time job but because I'm not good enough I stick to my full time job... 8years now... Learning how to code a website at the moment ^^
I kind of half-start a lot and get stuck in analysis paralysis. Maybe I even buy a book or an online course. But yeah, so scary, in my case fear of failure.
Despite me turning 60 this year, I still regard myself as a gifted child - and still am frightened by the notion I possibly ain't that smart. So I constantly go for affirmation, but in an way that makes sure I can't get it. I aim for the highest of goals with the highest of expectations of myself, e.g. being the best disciple in class (class?? History!), but then not investing all of my time and power in achieving it, for I am sooo gifted. And then, with "mediocre" results, I deem my results average, something that anybody could have done - no matter what goal I actually achieved. I finished my legal exam in the top 16% of my year, that's obviously above average, but it feels like average, normal, nothing special. I once participated in a world championship which my team won, but since I have not been deployed but was only on the substitute bench, I feel like a loser. At age 44 I finished an olympic distance triathlon, not even last in my age group, but since I didn't expect anything else from myself, it's nothing to be proud of; it just confirmed what I already knew, that I can do what I set out to do. But it left the question unanswered: what else could I have achieved if I had concentrated on it instead of doing it as a hobby alongside my family and work (and pleasure)? My latest projects are to do a master's in philosophy, a doctorate in law, a doctorate in philosophy, and then write a few books. Of course I expect top marks from myself, of course I'll let everything slide, and of course I'll achieve all my goals - but of course not as well as expected of me against all reason. Will I be happy then? I'll see ... P.S.: Strangely enough, I still haven't figured out why I'm pursuing exactly these goals and no others; why I didn't choose chess instead of triathlon, for example. Somehow I have the feeling that these things would make me happy if I spent more time doing them, assuming someone (my mother?) would like me doing them and would be proud of me for it. If not, then I might as well stay in bed all day and read books; I don't have to prove myself, I think I'm good as I am, even super great - jonly the others don't, unfortunately ...
Ditto on the ditto archetype 😅 I really liked your tip of using input based goals vs output goals! I have a long ever-growing list of output based goals that are easy to quit on and I should start to focus on input based goals instead!
Learning is a journey abd you're supposed to fail all the time 😮 This is soooo good. I only recently overcame fear of failure. This is easy to make mistakes when you are newby, but after some time I feel like I shouldn't fail. But... Even professionals fail sometimes - that's why we have colleagues and supervisors. (I am not a doctor or anything, my fail will not cost someones life)
I took your quiz and I am a ditto, but thank you so much for this video and I need to make sure that I choose something that I know why I chose it, and failure is apart of life so we need to keep going.
I have this trait of being interested in a lot of thing too and I thought I always quit everything. I was embarrassed by it. But I have realized I don't quit because I'm some kind of quitter or anything. I quit because either I take what I wanted from the endeavor or I realize it doesn't fit me. Most usually what I do is I start something to see what it is like, to satisfy my curiosity. Rarely do I ever take up a new thing with a mindset of the thing being permanent. If I see value in continuing I will not quit even if it is boring or frustrating. But if I don't see why I should continue- I stop the project, especially if I already have taken from it everything I wanted in the beginning.
For the last two years I worked as a full time substitute teacher at a school. My job was to show up in the morning and they'd tell me the subjects I had to teach that day according to the teachers that were absent. I ended up teaching every single subject in that school eventually. That has been probably the most fulfilling job for my hyper active jack of all trades mind. Of course I could just show up and do the activities but Most of the time I ended up teaching the class because I liked to research or straight up knew about the topic beforehand. I moved on from that job this year because I wanted to teach the thing I studied for and needed more stability, but I really liked the job and everybody was really surprised with how good I could manage every subject, considering it was a job most of the other teachers would hate doing. It helped me realize that yeah maybe my mind is special and has talents that differ from what society usually expects you to do but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
Hi Tina. Thank you for this very inspiring video. I have had a tendency in the past to be affected by this behavior. And yet, there are some things that I've never quit or stepped away from. Part of me thinks that we quit things, because it's just not the right choice for us. Either way, I really liked the thought provoking vid. Take care, Tina!!!
The Renaissance soul was relatable, I did more digging and yes it sounds like me. I have held every tech job from security positions IT tech, Network engineer, system admin, web Dev and full stack. I have just decided to go a completely different career which is being an artist when I was younger I wanted to be a manga artist but my parents said drawing will not make me money so I decided to go into tech but that was a bad idea. so now I am doing concept art, game art style and anime style if not this will try one more thing in IT which will be software engineering . I haven't began yet, but that was my next move. finding a career for me has been challenging being in tech has been a very boring and annoying experience for me. I hope this helps me out little this is getting frustrating lol.
This helped me realize that I know myself more than I thought. Assassin's Creed got me super interested in Leonardo DaVinci. So, I researched him and learned about his multi-avenue lifestyle. This resonated with something within me. So I started living by the saying, "Jack of all trades, master of none." The problem is that it's taken me years to be okay with being a "master of none." Now that I'm okay with not knowing 100% of one particular thing or being perfect at it, I'm ready to do anything. I recognize others who are like me, and nickname them and myself "DaVinci" now. :) We're just trying to experience life and make the most out of each experience. Just remember, no matter what you do, go big or go home.
I can relate this, after graduation and failed to get job i was hopping from one skill to another. Now i am doing graphic designing and learning python programming for games.
I was a gifted child and everyone just told me I was smart. I never really needed to study a lot even into college, but that's actually the most difficult part for me. I still need to study at the level I'm at now, but it's as if I force myself to strugle. I'm litteraly writing this hours from a week of exams and I didn't study anything for it even tho I am extremely stressed out and don't want to fail. But studying a lot would also be stressful for me because I feel like I'm not good enough.
So.. I'm a ditto and a group 1 person :( I'm in a great place in my life to try and fail more right now, so I'm going to try a lot this year :) I just started my TH-cam journey and will be starting a Twitch stream journey in another week or so! Thank you so much for this video!! I needed it!
As a "gifted" child I have developed such perfectionism that it actually hurts me. I can't do anything new without quitting the second I fail in the slightest bit. For example I'm kind of an artist, but I can't improve that much, because I want to be perfect at everything the second I start doing it. That problem goes back to my childhood. I was always good at school, my parents praised me for the first grades, but stopped at some point, because it became "normal". Since I started therapy and started talking to them about it, it changed, but still, when I come home with a C on a grade, my parents are like, disappointed or at least that's what it feels like for me. Now that goes to everything in my life. I can't do personal projects without quitting, because I don't feel like I can do it. The only time I can do something, is when I have to it for a good grade, but that closes the circle again. On top of that whole problem comes mental illness and not being able to focus on anything that I can't do perfectly. Now the biggest problem is that my brain applies that to changing my habits too. When I don't change immediately, I quit. It feels like hell. Note: English isn't my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes :)
visiting high school and only have As trying to recover from anorexia battling against depression maintaining my friendship with my best friend work at home (cleaning, doing the washing, cooking, taking care of cats) learning Swedish outside of school this is less than i thought
My mom even topped "you are intelligent"... she went out of her way to say "you are so much smarter than everyone else" and now i'm really seeing the effects of it 😭
Ha, this is such a mood. I want to learn how to code and can’t quite decide what exactly web? Apps?, learn French, Spanish, Japanese & Mandarin (and that’s tempering down all the other languages I’d be interested in), learn how to bake, cook, preserve, garden, grow cutflowers, draw traditional & online, paint with watercolors & gouache in about 2, maybe 3 different styles for characters, backgrounds & items, also I’d like to learn how to knit, crochet, sew and learn herbs, then craft various herbal stuff with them, learn about keeping different animals including bees, learn more about ecology, positive psychology, human development & education, integrative health practices, local fauna & flora, cultural history & folklore especially local as well as various philosophies & religious beliefs around the world, learn to craft/carve wooden toys and training animals. There’s also writing fantasy, just making up characters & stories, board games, logic puzzles and video games. That’s next to smaller DIY projects like making paper flowers, making candles, clay creations and so on. Plus making nice photos. I have also entertained learning to hunt, butcher, metal crafts like smithing, art journaling, horseback riding, dancing and shooting a bow. For other sports there’s walking/hiking, self-defense sports, yoga, qigong, general stretching & ofc calenstethics or however you write it. Instruments it’s violin & piano, though guitar is also interesting but as a kid I liked various instruments as well and also acting. Don’t forget ADHDers in this list. If people also have other stuff like forgetfulness, absentmindedness, disorganisation, time blindness, trouble task switching, task intiation, etc… This not finishing & various interest conondrum is very common with ADHD folk.
I think you perfectly realize it is a quality and not a drawback to quit. I also did ballet, but I was perfectly aware I cannot earn a living with ballet. I was good in mathematics, so the path was clear. But soon I realized mathematics was not enough to earn a living. Instead of quitting, I continued with a PhD in mathematics applied to insurance in Switzerland. From bad to worse. I switched as you to data science, but it didn't work either. So now I try TH-cam, but I don't get views, like a curse. You have incredibly many millions of views, congratulations! My dream was never to become a millionaire, but just to be able to live a decent life, which is no possible nowerdays. Merry Christmas!
Not long ago I finally realized, that I got told to be "so, so smart" and "intelligent" like most of my life. Yea I skipped a grade and then nearly a second (another story) and rushed with ease through most of school years, but because everyone told me how smart I am, I began getting anxiety when doing something wrong. This escalated into a bad depression for some years so I couldn't get my Highschool Diploma (Germany). Currently I'm fighting against those quitting-habits and my perfectionism while studying my dream Bachelor's degree (Software Dev) I wanted to study since 4 or 5 y/o. It's hard, but gets better with time :)
Your entire video basically describes me and thank you for making this video and letting me know how I can move beyond the stigma of a “ quitter” who actually has a huge passion for learning and sharing , but just not on 1 topic , but gazilion topics that I find soo incredibly interesting and intriguing . 🎉😂
i have a weird mess of ditto and an opinionated mind. on the one hand, I've internalised a lot of values from adults as a kid like which careers and past times are ''worthy'' and which are not, but on the other hand, I've leaned more into what I also found fun. I tried to go out of my comfort zone and I just ended up an anxious mess bc I tried too hard thinking that I'm not experienced enough so I have to compensate for my lack of knowledge. But when I did things in my comfort zone I became bored too soon. I don't think I can win.
I was a gifted child praised a lot for being smart. As a result, I was/am really bad at putting an effort into anything, because I was used to just achieving anything I set out to do. Now that's no longer the case, now I'm struggling in my Software Engineer career because there are people who are better than me, who can do stuff that I can't. Which is normal, most of them have much more experience than myself, I'm a beginner after all. But previously I was always ahead of the group (people in my class, who were exposed to the same classes as myself), now I'm not, and I'm struggling with that. Imposter syndrome is not nice to me. But working on it.
Is it possible to be more than one, cuz I got greedy one, but Renaissance soul really resonated with me. I genuinely enjoy doing a lot of different things, and I frequently switch up to keep myself from getting bored. However, the pressure of living up to what I have gotten myself into tends to catch up to me and makes me want to quit because I also tend to be lazy with some things at times. For example I may start a crochet project, get half way though, and quit because all of the tedious elements to the project are overwhelming. However I am really good at many different types of needlepoint, and have learned every kind I've ever heard of just because why not? I taught myself how to make handmade lace. After I learned it well enough to get halfway though a really beautiful project, but then realized how long it would take me to finish it, I just lost interest. Almost like I just wanted to be able to figure it out and do it, but not actually commit to spending hours doing it past learning it. I can't wait until I can afford to build myself a workshop. I want it to be big enough to encompass all my hobbies so that I can start things, put them aside, work on something else, then something else, and eventually make my way back to unfinished projects. However, I am also greedy, in that want to learn everything for absolutely no good reason. I did have people who were important to me in my life when I was young always putting me down, and of I'm being completely honest, it made me want to prove them wrong. I think internally this translated to an attitude of, "since they said I'd never be good at anything, I want to be good at everything." I was told that I'd never be anything more than someone's mother. It was said like that to mean that I wouldn't even have a name. You know how there can be a mom that is only ever referred to as "so & so's mom", but she herself doesn't have a name or identity outside of that distinction. However, I actually don't have negative self talk. I'm actually really positive self talk. I constantly tell myself that I can do anything I put my mind to. Failure's other name is growth. Fall down ten times, get up 11. My other favorite saying is "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks." I also remind myself that it's called the "model-T Ford" because perfection and takes time.
Yes! I want to do absolutely everything and it makes me feel crazy because that's literally impossible. I have a full-time job as a data analyst and I'm a full-time graduate student with only a few classes left. I'm also interested in learning ML, I've started to learn the piano, and I'm learning to paint. I have dozens of non-fiction books I have purchased, started, and never finished. Now I'm just focused on reading fiction that interests me and right now that is horror and mysteries. I replaced my scrolling habit with reading at night and quickly read 2 books and started a 3rd in a week. It's so hard to focus on one thing. Like right now... I have so many screens open.
Wow, you started to do bioinformatics, i am currently doing my masters in bioinformatics and it's not as easy as i thought and i don't want to quit and give up on myself Thanks for sharing ❤
I was considered a gifted kid! I’m what’s called twice exceptional, gifted AND neurodivergent. I’m gifted and I have a learning disability. It’s both. It took me a very long time to come to terms with that, but there you go!
So I started to learn Japanese, eat healthy, work out, and a new job a couple of months back. After I got the new job I slowly quit all of these in the exact order. Now I want to start learning to code c++/c# (haven't decided yet.) In hopes of changing my career and I really don't want to quit.... again.
My list: 1) full-time job as a journalist 2) teaching workshops on personal finance with homeless youth shelters and foster age-out programs 3) weekly live streams on youtube 4) co-writing a second book 5) Passing my top-level figure skating test (5-10 hours of training a week) 6) running an sizable online forum for finance 7) yoga 3-5 days/week 8) volunteering at bike event monthly 9) posting regular OOTDs on Instagram 10) building a triplex and running a channel about it 11) meal prep weekly 12) finally getting my splits back 13) running a weekly ride series ...holy shit I am doing a lot. No wonder I can't post videos on TH-cam consistently.
Related to most of this video, lol. Any small failure makes me think I won't ever make it, I constantly start spiraling in negative self talk, I work too hard and then stop suddenly. Not sure what to fix even now, lol
Thank you so much for making this video! I think that I'm a perfectionist, a self-sabotager, as well as the greedy one, and I tend to spiral when it doesn't go well. Talk about a mess lol. However, this video made me feel so much less alone. I'm at the stage in my life where everyone wants to know where I'm going to go and which career I'm going to college for. As a renaissance soul, this decision has felt SOOO stressful. But I got some great advice from your video which I plan to implement in my life and you made me want to embrace this trait. I like that I am interested in many things and I think the way the world views success needs to change. Being successful doesn't mean making the most money or having the most trophies. Sometimes being successful just means leading a happy life where you strive to be a good person. Where I used to see my failure (particularly in sports growing up) I now see it as a victory of sorts. I may have never won a trophy but I stayed and I kept trying even though I failed over and over and over again. I am grateful that a video like this exists out there and I feel like so many people will benefit from this.
Yep. I was told I was smart when I was a child, and some 40 years later I still hold myself to impossible standards and want to curl up and die of shame if I make even the tiniest mistake. I have made some improvements over the years, but the fear of failing and making an ass of myself is still very much there.
i can't focus on anything but that crazy shine
she didnt give up on shinning ,you say>>?😂
niyhaahhahha😜🤪
hahaha me too
i haven't watched the whole video but wtf did she put on her face
No one can say Tina isn't well hydrated and on top of her skincare game!
It’s actually a great thing trying out lots of different things when young instead of wondering “what if” when older and waking up in the middle of a career.
"waking up" in a career reminds me of Enneagram personality type 9.
Is 18 still young to try new things
Bro what kinda question is this lmaooo 18 is literally the beginning@@greenthinggg
@@greenthinggg Of course! To be fair, I believe any age is young enough to try new things. But up until your 20's you're still in career entry age and most companies won't look twice if you're starting at these ages. I'm finishing my degree on Performing Arts and I'm just starting to understand what my dream job is. And there are still plenty of things I want to try.
@@greenthinggg Yes.
As a gifted child, my parents were surprised when I learned to write and read on my own at the age of 4. I had a deep interest in books and enjoyed forming words by arranging letters on a blackboard, which contributed to my rapid learning. During primary school, I found subjects to be relatively easy, consistently earning grades of 8, 9, and 10. However, as I transitioned to high school, everything changed, and I realized that I needed to put in effort to achieve good grades.
Suddenly, I felt less intelligent compared to my classmates. Alongside academic challenges, I also struggled with my social life during adolescence, leading me to perceive myself as a failure. Consequently, I embarked on a journey of learning various skills, such as playing the guitar, singing, embroidery, 2D animation, 3D modeling, and skating. However, I found myself randomly abandoning these pursuits. To this day, I remain uncertain about my true preferences and interests, as I tend to quit both the things I started and those I never pursued further 🙃
I absolutely feel you
😢omg we're exactly same
damn... it's like reading my own story ;-;
literally in the highschool portion of this right now. what would you differently, if you could to back?
@@tw_adam
Try to not compare yourself to others and start doing things without thinking about the end result, more like enjoying the process. Dont be too hard on yourself, understand that you are a human being and we are not good at everything. If you need external help, ask your parents if they can afford you a therapist so that you have a safe space to talk and get to know yourself better.
Unpopular take: it's ok to "quit", aka move on from things that no longer fulfill you, especially if it's not that you're leaving the activity behind because it's too hard and makes you feel like giving up, but it feels like it's not worth it anymore, and no longer bringing what it used to give you. Just like relationships, moving apart isn't necessarily a failure! People grow, change and evolve, and not all progress is linear, either. You're not either improving or quitting. Get to know yourself to know why you're actually giving up on this particular path, though!
I feel the same. And she was only such a small child when the parents put this burden on her. It was the same with my parents (also Asian). I think it's unfair. We are alive to try different things and there's nothing wrong with giving up after a while and doing something new.
Just, before quitting, analyze if you're quitting because your mind state is too jumbled or if you're quitting out of your true feelings.
If you're not on your right mindset, anything becomes murky and a terrible experience, so its not really worth to quit something just because you're depressed, regarding you probably still like that activity.
@@VOlDNOVA Completely agree!
And depending on your state of mind, you can just take a break instead! But sometimes, doing the thing anyway will give you more energy, and faith in yourself, depends on the situation
this mentality is super risky i'd say , but you do you man
@@unk4617 it depends if we're talking about something that gives you financial security vs a hobby for example! obviously then you don't decide in the same way. it's not risky to put aside (not necessarily forever) a hobby that has been feeling like a chore for months for example, unless there's some parameter of doing it competitively
Former gifted child here. I remember being praised by my peers for my intelligence growing up, but my parents rarely took my interests or goals seriously. I won't write my autobiography because an article from The Onion titled "Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy" summarizes it well enough.
I started getting interested in data science from watching your videos, Tina, but I have yet to break through. Being in the early days of the next big tech revolution seems to be complicating matters. Managers either seem to be afraid of A.I. or expect new hires to be seasoned experts on new technology. Meanwhile, folks like me are struggling to keep our heads above water amid the deluge of new systems and techniques. It's becoming easy to fall into the comfortable pattern of assuming failure and balking when confronted by obstacles.
I am facing the same situation too I want to study ML and AI, but I heard that most data scientist just do excel jobs , companies dont know what to do with their skills. Honestly, it feels very difficult to know where to start and what to expect from the future.
I was in gifted classes in elementary and middle school. In high school, I rapidly discovered that my reward for superior work was just more work. "Oh, you did all the even problems in 5 minutes while the rest of the class is still working? Now do the odd problems, and if you don't, I'll mark you down." "Oh, you finished the test in 10 minutes instead of 40? Just sit quietly. No, you can't read because it isn't an open book test and I don't care that you already turned it in, I'll mark you as cheating even if it's a novel, which you shouldn't be reading in this class." "Well, I can see why the other kids don't like you when you keep breaking the curve." Yeah, I learned to not stand out in high school. In college, however, I had no problem putting my foot down and talking back, because I made certain I could back up what I said. If I disagreed with the instructor, I did my homework and wouldn't back down just because the instructor tried to assert authority. In a trigonometry class, I and one other student got a different answer than everyone else. The teacher tried to just say I was wrong, but I actually stood on my desk and stomped my foot and reminded the teacher that trigonometry is based on proofs, not on I-said-so. Turns out there was an issue with the word problem, it left out a factor that depended on your assumptions as to which way the angles opened, towards each other or away. "You're supposed to assume they open away", she said. I held up the textbook and said "show me". We got credit for our answer. Other problems specified which way, so there was no reason for me to assume. I got an award for creating an original proof for an old problem, which shows I did know my stuff. I was just as bad in other classes, AND on the rare occasion I was proven wrong I readily admitted it. That's how we learn.
excuse me but as a still-gifted-child the first sentence is just so hilarious. "you were gifted but you're not anymore" is just so funny because i am still experiencing how extremely difficult being gifted is. usa is such a funny country.
I had the same thing happen, only i wasn't gifted. I was so average and unable to see for most of my early years in school to the point where everyone around me thought I had some type of handicap. So I spent up until around age 10 being told i'm stupid and not to bother doing certain things. Once I got glasses my grades improved but the damage was done, and parents stopped taking an interest in me anyway. I didn't start feeling safe to explore what interested me until nearly 40
@@aubreymorgan9763 In 4th grade nobody took me serious when i said I couldn't see the chalkboard. I finally started getting out of my seat and walking up to it. The teacher gave me a hard time about it until I pitched enough of a fit that my parents were called in the the counselor suggested I have my eyes checked. Oh, look, turns out I DID need glasses.
I feel like my takeaway from this is a combination of rewarding myself for the effort rather than the outcome and allowing myself to explore different areas of interest.
Having an "Effort Over Reward" mindset is really complicated considering the kick we get to keep working IS the reward.
@@alberthwastaken Sometimes. When the reward turns out not to be meaningful, then quite the opposite of that "kick" happens, and it becomes extremely demotivating going forward. I think this is what the study Tina referred to in the video was getting at.
Its weird for me. I was a gifted kid. From a gifted kid, i turned into a problem child struggling with an alcoholic parent. Skipping, fights, failing... My mom used to tell me many people have said to her that I was intelligent but If i would just stop being lazy then maybe I would be on top. I too had many stuff given up, and here is a list of all of them:
Dancing
Crocheting
Painting
Roller-skating
Cosplaying
Debating
Writing
Guitar
Ukelele
Kalimba
Working out (I am a yoyo at this)
Digital Art (This one is going on until today, In fact, I am trying to hone this skill because I refuse to give up on this.)
I love seeing Dr. K being used as a resource for so many youtubers. It's a very positive thing imo
I am a gifted child. I knew that this fucked me up in some ways (perfectionism), but I didn't realize that this played a role in my lack of grit when it comes to hobbies, personal ambitions, and art. I didn't realize that I didn't get encouraged for trying and putting in effort. I was just expected to be good at everything with no help. Because I was intelligent, I didn't have to try as hard in K-12, but this backfired when I went to art school. So much of art is discipline. My parents never really encouraged me to do the arts or recognized my efforts, only the end results if they could brag about it to others. Overall, your video is having me realize an area I need to reparent myself in: recognizing my own efforts and my journey regardless of whether I fail or not. I am fortunate to be dating someone who does this naturally. Rather than praising my intelligence, they praise my efforts. I also had a therapist in the past that encouraged my efforts. Thank you for this awareness raising, Tina, and I also thank all of the people who loved me who recognize my efforts even when I fail.
Sounds like me, I can never stay in a job for long, I get physically and mentally exhausted after a bit and I believe this is because I don’t feel like I’ve been made to work for companies as I don’t agree with their values, I feel like a slave working towards someone else’s success, I feel less valued and just unhappy. I am working towards my own goals to be able to work for myself, do something I love, help other people, be financially free and flexible - work whenever I want! That’s my dream 🥳
I want to do the same ♥ I wish you much success.
@@DystopianSimulation47 Thank you 😊 Keep going!
I have ADHD and just discovered it a couple of years ago. This sounds like me.
I find that all those things I lost interest in becomes useful later on.
Yes exactly 😅it doesn’t seem like it in the moment though to others
Useful how? I have ADHD too. And I am still figuring things out
@@vivianpurplemess Hi, sorry just saw this. Just a small and recent example, years ago I was really into photography and like most things after a while I lost interest over time. Fast forward a few years later, I can use all that photography knowledge when prompting with AI to create better photographic images. I hope that make sense. I just follow my curiosity and don't get so hard on myself for "quitting" or "losing" interest. It's up to you how you find it useful.
SO RELATABLE. I'm on medication now.
I am thinking many people have this and do not know
This was probably one of the best youtube videos I've watched in a while. It was to the point and honest, not boring or slow.. I also have so much more insight into myself and how I function as I related to nearly everything you said. Along with this, I have new strategies of thinking and helping myself work through these. The Renaissance soul is something I greatly recognize in myself, but I never was able to see it in a positive light until now. Thank you so much for this video- I never write comments half as long as this so I hope that goes to show how much I loved it.
I resonate so much with this video. My professional journey has been crazy, but I love it. I'm 28, and I graduated in advertising. Then, I did my master's in communication and digital design, and now I'm on my second degree in System Analysis. Besides that, I worked with photography, music, video editing, design, social media, English teaching, and more. When I try to explain to people what I do, I never have a straight answer.
My list:
-Full time job
-Air Force reserves (24 hours a month)
-school full time
-slowly start free lancing (to save for house)
- maintain relationship with family, boyfriend, and friends
- learn Spanish
I never liked cleaning but at this point I’m happy when I get a half day at home just to fold laundry so I can wake up in a clean room. I usually burnout after I fold everything and it just sits on my bed 😂
omg that's a lot!! :O
teach me too
can combine some of the Spanish learning with the cleaning. listening to a podcast or program in Spanish while cleaning, thats what I've started to do. I only clean like once or twice a week outside of dishes so it works out ok for some extra listening practice.
I think that kinda defeats the purpose of the video? lol
I'm AuDHD (autism and ADHD), and I finally figured out how to clean stuff without burning out. I make tiny habits to clean in such tiny pieces that it doesn't feel like I'm stopping to clean. For example, I clean something tiny in my bathroom every time I use it, even if that means just using a piece of toilet paper to "mop" a 5 inch by 5 inch piece of the floor. I keep a wash cloth in the room to wipe down the sink after each time I wash my hands, because it gets water everywhere. Whenever I see the mirror has a splotches, I get some TP wet, wipe it down, and then dry it. Works like a charm! My toilet has a bidet, so I wipe the water off the toilet, which ends up cleaning a fair bit of it regularly. Plus I dust the toilet a bit quickly when I notice it. And I quickly use the toilet brush whenever I see the need. I used to never clean. Now I clean multiple times a day, in tiny little pieces, and it has actually become FUN!! I even clean a little part of public bathrooms now, too, just to keep the habit up and because it is fun.
As for laundry, when I get dressed in the morning, I try to pick from my clean clothes basket when I remember. Whenever I change my clothes, I try to remember to take out at least one thing from the basket to put away. And when I take off a shirt or something that is still clean, I immediately out it away in the closet. I gave specifically made it so all the hangers are on one side, and developed the habit of taking the shirt off the rack along with the hanger, rather than just taking off the shirt, so that hangers are easy to find.
Yeah this is me. I went from wanting to be a Barber, Camera man, Music Producer, White Hat Hacker, Video Game Developer, Sci-Fi Writer, Bodybuilder, Pro Gamer, Stock Market Trader, to now a Virtual Reality App Developer. And I spent money on education and tools for all of these. It's an expensive way to live 😂. I'll get it together one day.
Hey , Do you want yo learn virtual reality app , I also Did That Spending 3 Months of mine ... Because It fascinates me , But than I quit 😅 After learning and taking certification ....
It is, expensive. But eventually you will find it, just believe 🫠 ²½⁴
i can relate so hard, i am a software engineer, UI designer, Video editor, Film maker, Phootgrapher, and game artist. For now i am focusing on getting a job at sony game studios or learn how to make games
Have you checked if it's not something like ADHD? because the deep and intense, but lasting only few months to year hobbies are one of those things that seem to happen in relation to that. It looks terribly lot like a pattern among my friends with ADHD diagnoses at least (weird stuff; you make friends as autistic person and then basically everyone you get along with well turns out to have ADHD)
of course it's not like, diagnostically useful, but to consider. Since it is indeed expensive way to live.
Hello? You literally described my life.lmao
here's my greedy list!:
1. engineering work (day job): learning
2. playing games for $ (while at work...shh...): mastered (cuz anyone can do this)
3. surveys for $ (...also while at work sometimes...I have issues): mastered (cuz see above)
4. digital marketing/leasing course + research: learning
5. watch TH-cam for more side hustle ideas: learning
6. work out and keep Mediterranean diet (b/c I'm currently getting paid $ to and it's good for my back injury--I once was a competitive figure skater too!): mastered (cuz I'm following pre-set workouts and it's a no-brainer)
7. journaling for therapy: need to work on consistency ^^
I took the quiz and it said I'm a self-saboteur--while I can see a bit of that in myself, I also think I could be suffering from burnout and don't even try even though I know what I need to do to succeed. Also, my social anxiety just gets worse and worse the more I withdraw. I also have fear of failure, especially if I have/had to lose a lot of time and $.
Keep exploring at www.brilliant.org/TinaHuang/. Get started for free, and hurry-the first 200 people get 20% off an annual premium subscription.
Also I knowwww my face is very shiny this video 😭
Some stars tend too shine a little bit brighter than others.
A glossy finish helps protect walls and car exteriors. It should be nice to know that your face shall remain unscathed through the winter. 😁
I was a gifted child growing up in elementary school but things changed a lot for me as early as middle school; I never was motivated to work hard because I never had to before, yet when I got Cs on tests I took it as I'm not naturally smart enough to do better. It took me until senior year of high school and early college to finally wake up and realize my mindset was garbage. If I'm going to be successful in life I'm going to need to work very hard regardless of my intelligence. I can't expect to be handed things for being smart, and no one should. I think not getting perfect grades in middle school and most of high school has helped me deal with failure and knowing I'm not always going to be perfect, but I can totally understand how someone like me could still struggle with it even at my age. Tina if you're reading this I'm curious if you were a gifted child as well and if so what were your experiences?
it's crazy how what happened in our childhoods influences so much of our lives huh? Does my mom telling me I'm smart count? hahah jkjk we didn't have this concept of gifted child where I grew up but I never was really the best at anything. I do decent at most things. I hated school and skipped a lot (which is why I'm so into self studying I guess). But always got good enough grades that teachers didn't bother me too much about skipping school 🤔
Yes my mother told me I was a genuius every day! And now I'm 35 and working as a server. But now I'm teaching myself python... don't feel like a genius now LOL... Your content is so relatable! Thank you!
I spent 30 years living In a country that's similar to China in terms of parenting. And yes, I'm never good enough. Therefore I apparently self-sabotage. Your test actually proved what my friend said before she died.
I do start learning a lot of things but nowadays I just feel like I'm too old to always start over. But I still can't just cruise.
Love your videos and lunch and learns. You work hard, we appreciate you!
Idk how old you are, but I doubt it matters. As long as you can financially support yourself and have a plan to support yourself when you're too old to work or if you get injured, then you're good! Do whatever you want, even if it means switching jobs a lot. Have another job lined up before you quit the last, to keep it stable for you and anyone you're supporting.
It's your life. Have some (planned) fun! You don't have to follow the boring template society offered. The way I see it, we learn from the pain of difficulty, so why avoid the pain of difficulty? Have some fun trying different things at different times. Most of the judgement you fear from others is just imagined, anyway.
Be wise. Support yourself and your family. Be ready for retirement and emergencies. Don't hurt anybody. Honor your life. Serve others. You can do those things while still having fun with different jobs, hobbies, and interests.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this video. Everything you said resonated very strongly with me, in particular the traits of the gifted child, the doom spiral and the renaissance soul. My whole life I’ve seen myself as a quitter. I cannot stick and truly fall in love with a single subject, like my sister did with biology or my husband with engineering and electronics. I don’t have any hobbies either because I want to do everything and end up not doing anything. This is why when you mentioned the concept of the renaissance soul I had an “EUREKA!” moment. Now I know it’s not really a weakness but a hidden skill that I need to learn to develop and use it in my favour. Again, thank you!
🤗🤗🤗
I'm totally a Ditto. I went to a performing arts high school and joined the orchestra in large part because my mother always wanted to be able to play an instrument and thought it would help pay for college. But the time I got done with high school, I didn't want to play anything anymore.
I have struggled ny whole life with this and have had the hardest time trying to understand it because I knew it would keep me from living a fulfilling life. Im overjoyed at the information you have provided in this video! It has made so many things make sense and has given me the perspective shift I desperately needed. Thank you so much for sharing! ❤
"I'm not smarter than everybody else. I'm not stronger. I just have the ability to stick to a plan and not quit."
~Jonny Kim
THIS
@@TinaHuang1 which is the best university in the world for computer science?( Please reply)
rightttttttt
I’ve always been a fast learner, and I’ve always got bored with most of things I did, but some of them I definitely liked more and got back to them from time to time. I’m studying Japanese at the uni now, so I’m gonna be an interpreter or a translator. And I’ve found out that a lot of knowledge I have is in a huge use in this sphere. I still have a lot of things I want to do - from continuing studying HTML to becoming a TH-camr and writer, but I really see, that I can use most of things I know and connect them somehow, though sometimes I blame myself for not being good enough in any of the spheres I’m interested in (except for Ukrainian, maybe. 87%)
This is one of the most helpful videos I've ever watched on this topic; I'm definitely going to be using the input goal method from now on. Thank you!
Timecode 5:42. Video paused, staring agape at the screen.
"Let me know if you were a gifted kid who has this extreme fear of failure."
Holy lightning bolt, Batman. I had never heard that correlation before. I feel a physical reaction to this revelation.
I wonder if (finally) understanding the association will help me to overcome it.
I love the concept of leaning into having a Renaissance Soul. It's been a continual conflict running up against all the times I've tried-and failed-to zero in on one thing and do it and only it well.
Thank you!
i feel like i watch your videos to cleanse myself, i love how organized you are
Great video!. The gifted child breakdown was very helpful and gave me awareness on how I had viewed myself in the past based on the encouragement I received and how I can catch myself not repeating these old habits with my kids.
YES! Content Creator. And got a MS in Comp Sci from U Penn - These are not easy stuff. It must take a lot of work!
It's a fine line between trying out something and quitting. It's all about intentions.
Most important, do something with your time. Even if you failed or quit, you learned something.
Personally, worked 5 jobs to support myself last 2 yrs of college; while going to classes full time. One good thing to remember.
I think the way she discusses the topics is well prepared and it's really more than amazing.
Former gifted child here. I have started so many projects, neither finished nor quit almost any of them for fear of failure. All those open loops weigh heavy on me (in form of physical and mental clutter).
Same and may I ask, “adhd?” 🤔🤷🏻♀️😘
@@clarewillison9379 Not diagnosed with that, so I don't know. But not exactly neurotypical either. And like many with some issues accidentally caused by parents.
@@Ph34rNoB33r For years I thought I was just weird (and was told I was weird) but then my niece who I adore and people said is “so like you” was diagnosed with ADHD and I started reading and watching videos and then took the test. Not only do I tick all the boxes (with highest score!) but realised in the process what accounted for my dad’s memory, attention, amazing ability in different fields yet rarely finishing projects wasn’t as he said, “probably just being lazy” but also ADHD.
Might be worth finding an online test to rule it in or out. Even if we can’t take medications, it’s helped me massively to understand myself and beat myself up much less. (Though we also have to deal with resurgent resentment towards those who could have done something to help, like teachers who just wrote me off at 13 when I went from top of the class to all over the place and didn’t even try to understand.🤬)
Anyway, apologies for butting in, and hope you aren’t offended. Hope 2024 will be a good year for you x
Hey. Same here. So many unfinished unquit projects.
Sigh
I technically never got into the gifted program, but I was always praised by teachers, peers, family members and friends on my intelligence, I have always been trying to learn new things, and I talked a lot about them, not to mention I also tested really high in several areas regarding pattern recognition, memory recall and so on. Now I am in grade 12 and I have no motivation to do anything and will probably not get into any cool programs :/. I also have ADHD!
This is one of the best videos I’ve seen on this topic! ❤
took the test got the greedy one as a response. I really liked all the questions as they were clear and concise and I was able to answer them with honesty. Another thing I want to say this is one of the most relatable videos I have ever watched. Interesting fact I watched one your videos where you explained the difference between software engineering and data science and thats what helped me decide to choose my career path. So thank you soo much and pls dont quit youtube ever people like me need you :))
awww thank you so much - this really means so much to me and keeps me going :)
I want to learn everything too Tina... 😂
Have 2 stem degrees. Physics and biomathematics.
Currently learning Mandarin.
Trying to find time to continue learning guitar.
Also trying to find time to learn Unity.
All while still having to work...
My problem is I need to solve the problem of needing sleep.
ah yes very challenging problem indeed
I can help you with unity , I learnt Unity and than AR / VR development .... But That's also true that after learning and making AR/VR applications I quit ...
you have summed me up nicely, i relate HARD
me too trying continue my guitar learning
When I was a kid, they asked me what I wanted to be...and I wanted to be.. a Laywer, Veterinarian, Writer, Artist, Baker... and I remember my mother saying 'You'll be in school forever.' I honestly loved that idea, and then spend 7 years in undergrad, moving between majors (after spending a few months in art school and leaving that), then graduated in Psychology but.. like.. I straddled Psych, Anthro, and Bio.. then went into my masters for Cog and Behavioral, but didn't finish that, am now in heathcare, and now circling into paint supplies, potentially, as a business. So yeah, OOFTA.
I feel so much with this video, it's so me. I'm still all over the place playing like 7 musical instruments, working with coding, writing, digital art, traditional art, gaming, worldbuilding, roleplaying, sculpting, jewelry making etc etc etc... I can't seem to choose just one thing to focus on. And I always quit after a time of hyper-focus and then I pick it up again a year later... I don't know. But I'm autistic and have ADHD as well so I don't know if that's it with me ;) But shall I be completely honest? I like the way I circle around things and hyper-focusing and pick up things later. I don't feel the need to change quite yet.
Focusing on input based goals instead of result based goals literally just changed my life. Thank you for that.
I was considered a "gifted" kid. It wasn't until my mid-20's that I FINALLY learned how to be okay with failing at something.
This is the most reassuring video and comment thread that I've seen in a while, lol. I literally just posted a video about my journey of trying to find a passion (I was that child who was good at everything and wanted to be a mathematician, an author, a detective, an interior designer, a computer scientist, a historian 🙃) and jumping from one craft/skill/career direction to another. Someone then recommended this video and I'm so glad they did, looks like I've found my tribe 😃
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
Yeah same, I went from sweating myself aiming to get into architecture school, to my second choice BSc chemistry, then to 2 different diplomas in architecture & arts. And now I'm doing AI related work after a data science bootcamp. I also bartended, was a barista, sold some cars and little things on social media in my college years. Plus I have a dog and sing & upload some covers in my spare times as well. Just live a life fully, your job & income source is to have more choices in life, not the other way around.
related to almost everything you said and I almost quit this video in the middle which proves how bad the problem is..am glad i didn’t, thank you so much for sharing
Think we're very similar. I've dropped out of education 5 times (I've been to university 3 times but only have one undergrad degree). Built a different YT channel to 20k subs but even that don't motivate me. But recently, I spoke a psychiatrist and he told me something about my psychie that I never knew and I finally feel like I know myself better now.
Something to keep in mind when doing anything, everything usually follows a pattern or formula, humans are great at recognizing patterns, pattern recognition is an amazing skill to have!!! And is also another reason not to quit something you really like. Nothing is impossible. ❤
I don’t know if I was a gifted child, but certainly I was praised a lot for my intelligence and creativity as a child. As an adult, I want to be a writer, but my creative writing mentor and I had a very problematic relationship. She criticised my favourite author until I felt so ashamed of liking and enjoying that author's work, that I gave away all my books. I was definitely a Ditto with my mentor! And she praised my creative writing skills (though often laced with backhanded criticism) to the point that it became tied to my self worth. I used to love writing because it was fun, and made me feel like my heart was singing, like a child at play, now I can’t bring myself to write anything, because I'm not good enough and I never will be. My writing became about trying to earn my mentor's approval and praise. I still dream of becoming a writer, because of the happy childhood memories I have of reading, watching and writing stories. My mentor said she didn’t think I really wanted to be a writer, because I told her it was no longer fun, but it wasn't fun anymore once I stopped writing for myself and started writing either for my mentor or people online. Also, my mentor would compare my writing to that of my online friends, tell me mine was better which led to me developing a superiority complex. I still want to write. But I don't think I ever will now thanks to my mentor.
Thank you ! I have the ''never start nothing because it's too scary to start something new'' type of things...
Learning everyday something, or improving something to quit my full time job but because I'm not good enough I stick to my full time job... 8years now... Learning how to code a website at the moment ^^
I kind of half-start a lot and get stuck in analysis paralysis. Maybe I even buy a book or an online course. But yeah, so scary, in my case fear of failure.
Despite me turning 60 this year, I still regard myself as a gifted child - and still am frightened by the notion I possibly ain't that smart. So I constantly go for affirmation, but in an way that makes sure I can't get it. I aim for the highest of goals with the highest of expectations of myself, e.g. being the best disciple in class (class?? History!), but then not investing all of my time and power in achieving it, for I am sooo gifted. And then, with "mediocre" results, I deem my results average, something that anybody could have done - no matter what goal I actually achieved.
I finished my legal exam in the top 16% of my year, that's obviously above average, but it feels like average, normal, nothing special. I once participated in a world championship which my team won, but since I have not been deployed but was only on the substitute bench, I feel like a loser. At age 44 I finished an olympic distance triathlon, not even last in my age group, but since I didn't expect anything else from myself, it's nothing to be proud of; it just confirmed what I already knew, that I can do what I set out to do. But it left the question unanswered: what else could I have achieved if I had concentrated on it instead of doing it as a hobby alongside my family and work (and pleasure)?
My latest projects are to do a master's in philosophy, a doctorate in law, a doctorate in philosophy, and then write a few books. Of course I expect top marks from myself, of course I'll let everything slide, and of course I'll achieve all my goals - but of course not as well as expected of me against all reason. Will I be happy then? I'll see ...
P.S.: Strangely enough, I still haven't figured out why I'm pursuing exactly these goals and no others; why I didn't choose chess instead of triathlon, for example.
Somehow I have the feeling that these things would make me happy if I spent more time doing them, assuming someone (my mother?) would like me doing them and would be proud of me for it.
If not, then I might as well stay in bed all day and read books; I don't have to prove myself, I think I'm good as I am, even super great - jonly the others don't, unfortunately ...
Ditto on the ditto archetype 😅
I really liked your tip of using input based goals vs output goals! I have a long ever-growing list of output based goals that are easy to quit on and I should start to focus on input based goals instead!
"I'm not smarter than anyone else. I'm not stronger. I just have the ability to stick to a plan and not quit."
~Johnny Kim
This all has been reallyyy helpfullllll. But I also gotta say that I loveeee how shiny your face looks!!!! love ittt
Picked up a lot of important things from your video. Also, can relate to a lot of stuff you said. Thanks for sharing all these!
Learning is a journey abd you're supposed to fail all the time
😮
This is soooo good.
I only recently overcame fear of failure. This is easy to make mistakes when you are newby, but after some time I feel like I shouldn't fail. But... Even professionals fail sometimes - that's why we have colleagues and supervisors. (I am not a doctor or anything, my fail will not cost someones life)
I took your quiz and I am a ditto, but thank you so much for this video and I need to make sure that I choose something that I know why I chose it, and failure is apart of life so we need to keep going.
I have this trait of being interested in a lot of thing too and I thought I always quit everything. I was embarrassed by it. But I have realized I don't quit because I'm some kind of quitter or anything. I quit because either I take what I wanted from the endeavor or I realize it doesn't fit me. Most usually what I do is I start something to see what it is like, to satisfy my curiosity. Rarely do I ever take up a new thing with a mindset of the thing being permanent. If I see value in continuing I will not quit even if it is boring or frustrating. But if I don't see why I should continue- I stop the project, especially if I already have taken from it everything I wanted in the beginning.
For the last two years I worked as a full time substitute teacher at a school. My job was to show up in the morning and they'd tell me the subjects I had to teach that day according to the teachers that were absent. I ended up teaching every single subject in that school eventually. That has been probably the most fulfilling job for my hyper active jack of all trades mind. Of course I could just show up and do the activities but Most of the time I ended up teaching the class because I liked to research or straight up knew about the topic beforehand.
I moved on from that job this year because I wanted to teach the thing I studied for and needed more stability, but I really liked the job and everybody was really surprised with how good I could manage every subject, considering it was a job most of the other teachers would hate doing. It helped me realize that yeah maybe my mind is special and has talents that differ from what society usually expects you to do but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
Hi Tina. Thank you for this very inspiring video. I have had a tendency in the past to be affected by this behavior. And yet, there are some things that I've never quit or stepped away from. Part of me thinks that we quit things, because it's just not the right choice for us. Either way, I really liked the thought provoking vid. Take care, Tina!!!
The Renaissance soul was relatable, I did more digging and yes it sounds like me. I have held every tech job from security positions IT tech, Network engineer, system admin, web Dev and full stack. I have just decided to go a completely different career which is being an artist when I was younger I wanted to be a manga artist but my parents said drawing will not make me money so I decided to go into tech but that was a bad idea. so now I am doing concept art, game art style and anime style if not this will try one more thing in IT which will be software engineering . I haven't began yet, but that was my next move. finding a career for me has been challenging being in tech has been a very boring and annoying experience for me. I hope this helps me out little this is getting frustrating lol.
This helped me realize that I know myself more than I thought. Assassin's Creed got me super interested in Leonardo DaVinci. So, I researched him and learned about his multi-avenue lifestyle. This resonated with something within me. So I started living by the saying, "Jack of all trades, master of none." The problem is that it's taken me years to be okay with being a "master of none." Now that I'm okay with not knowing 100% of one particular thing or being perfect at it, I'm ready to do anything. I recognize others who are like me, and nickname them and myself "DaVinci" now. :) We're just trying to experience life and make the most out of each experience. Just remember, no matter what you do, go big or go home.
I quit everything because there's something better. Everything is greener on the other side
oh yes lol can relate
@@TinaHuang1 Turned out I got OCPD. Could be something to look into
I can relate this, after graduation and failed to get job i was hopping from one skill to another. Now i am doing graphic designing and learning python programming for games.
you got this - let's stick this through 🤗🤗🤗
I was a gifted child and everyone just told me I was smart. I never really needed to study a lot even into college, but that's actually the most difficult part for me. I still need to study at the level I'm at now, but it's as if I force myself to strugle.
I'm litteraly writing this hours from a week of exams and I didn't study anything for it even tho I am extremely stressed out and don't want to fail. But studying a lot would also be stressful for me because I feel like I'm not good enough.
So.. I'm a ditto and a group 1 person :( I'm in a great place in my life to try and fail more right now, so I'm going to try a lot this year :) I just started my TH-cam journey and will be starting a Twitch stream journey in another week or so!
Thank you so much for this video!! I needed it!
As a "gifted" child I have developed such perfectionism that it actually hurts me.
I can't do anything new without quitting the second I fail in the slightest bit. For example I'm kind of an artist, but I can't improve that much, because I want to be perfect at everything the second I start doing it. That problem goes back to my childhood. I was always good at school, my parents praised me for the first grades, but stopped at some point, because it became "normal".
Since I started therapy and started talking to them about it, it changed, but still, when I come home with a C on a grade, my parents are like, disappointed or at least that's what it feels like for me. Now that goes to everything in my life. I can't do personal projects without quitting, because I don't feel like I can do it.
The only time I can do something, is when I have to it for a good grade, but that closes the circle again. On top of that whole problem comes mental illness and not being able to focus on anything that I can't do perfectly. Now the biggest problem is that my brain applies that to changing my habits too. When I don't change immediately, I quit. It feels like hell.
Note: English isn't my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes :)
visiting high school and only have As
trying to recover from anorexia
battling against depression
maintaining my friendship with my best friend
work at home (cleaning, doing the washing, cooking, taking care of cats)
learning Swedish outside of school
this is less than i thought
My mom even topped "you are intelligent"... she went out of her way to say "you are so much smarter than everyone else" and now i'm really seeing the effects of it 😭
Ha, this is such a mood. I want to learn how to code and can’t quite decide what exactly web? Apps?, learn French, Spanish, Japanese & Mandarin (and that’s tempering down all the other languages I’d be interested in), learn how to bake, cook, preserve, garden, grow cutflowers, draw traditional & online, paint with watercolors & gouache in about 2, maybe 3 different styles for characters, backgrounds & items, also I’d like to learn how to knit, crochet, sew and learn herbs, then craft various herbal stuff with them, learn about keeping different animals including bees, learn more about ecology, positive psychology, human development & education, integrative health practices, local fauna & flora, cultural history & folklore especially local as well as various philosophies & religious beliefs around the world, learn to craft/carve wooden toys and training animals. There’s also writing fantasy, just making up characters & stories, board games, logic puzzles and video games. That’s next to smaller DIY projects like making paper flowers, making candles, clay creations and so on. Plus making nice photos. I have also entertained learning to hunt, butcher, metal crafts like smithing, art journaling, horseback riding, dancing and shooting a bow. For other sports there’s walking/hiking, self-defense sports, yoga, qigong, general stretching & ofc calenstethics or however you write it. Instruments it’s violin & piano, though guitar is also interesting but as a kid I liked various instruments as well and also acting.
Don’t forget ADHDers in this list. If people also have other stuff like forgetfulness, absentmindedness, disorganisation, time blindness, trouble task switching, task intiation, etc… This not finishing & various interest conondrum is very common with ADHD folk.
My new fav Tina video!
I think you perfectly realize it is a quality and not a drawback to quit. I also did ballet, but I was perfectly aware I cannot earn a living with ballet. I was good in mathematics, so the path was clear. But soon I realized mathematics was not enough to earn a living. Instead of quitting, I continued with a PhD in mathematics applied to insurance in Switzerland. From bad to worse. I switched as you to data science, but it didn't work either. So now I try TH-cam, but I don't get views, like a curse. You have incredibly many millions of views, congratulations! My dream was never to become a millionaire, but just to be able to live a decent life, which is no possible nowerdays. Merry Christmas!
Not long ago I finally realized, that I got told to be "so, so smart" and "intelligent" like most of my life. Yea I skipped a grade and then nearly a second (another story) and rushed with ease through most of school years, but because everyone told me how smart I am, I began getting anxiety when doing something wrong. This escalated into a bad depression for some years so I couldn't get my Highschool Diploma (Germany). Currently I'm fighting against those quitting-habits and my perfectionism while studying my dream Bachelor's degree (Software Dev) I wanted to study since 4 or 5 y/o. It's hard, but gets better with time :)
Your entire video basically describes me and thank you for making this video and letting me know how I can move beyond the stigma of a “ quitter” who actually has a huge passion for learning and sharing , but just not on 1 topic , but gazilion topics that I find soo incredibly interesting and intriguing . 🎉😂
i have a weird mess of ditto and an opinionated mind. on the one hand, I've internalised a lot of values from adults as a kid like which careers and past times are ''worthy'' and which are not, but on the other hand, I've leaned more into what I also found fun.
I tried to go out of my comfort zone and I just ended up an anxious mess bc I tried too hard thinking that I'm not experienced enough so I have to compensate for my lack of knowledge. But when I did things in my comfort zone I became bored too soon. I don't think I can win.
Your face is brighter than my future
OMG! I just love Miss Tina Huang's videos.
I needed to hear all of that.
Thank you!!
I was a gifted child praised a lot for being smart. As a result, I was/am really bad at putting an effort into anything, because I was used to just achieving anything I set out to do. Now that's no longer the case, now I'm struggling in my Software Engineer career because there are people who are better than me, who can do stuff that I can't. Which is normal, most of them have much more experience than myself, I'm a beginner after all. But previously I was always ahead of the group (people in my class, who were exposed to the same classes as myself), now I'm not, and I'm struggling with that. Imposter syndrome is not nice to me. But working on it.
Is it possible to be more than one, cuz I got greedy one, but Renaissance soul really resonated with me. I genuinely enjoy doing a lot of different things, and I frequently switch up to keep myself from getting bored. However, the pressure of living up to what I have gotten myself into tends to catch up to me and makes me want to quit because I also tend to be lazy with some things at times. For example I may start a crochet project, get half way though, and quit because all of the tedious elements to the project are overwhelming. However I am really good at many different types of needlepoint, and have learned every kind I've ever heard of just because why not? I taught myself how to make handmade lace. After I learned it well enough to get halfway though a really beautiful project, but then realized how long it would take me to finish it, I just lost interest. Almost like I just wanted to be able to figure it out and do it, but not actually commit to spending hours doing it past learning it. I can't wait until I can afford to build myself a workshop. I want it to be big enough to encompass all my hobbies so that I can start things, put them aside, work on something else, then something else, and eventually make my way back to unfinished projects. However, I am also greedy, in that want to learn everything for absolutely no good reason. I did have people who were important to me in my life when I was young always putting me down, and of I'm being completely honest, it made me want to prove them wrong. I think internally this translated to an attitude of, "since they said I'd never be good at anything, I want to be good at everything." I was told that I'd never be anything more than someone's mother. It was said like that to mean that I wouldn't even have a name. You know how there can be a mom that is only ever referred to as "so & so's mom", but she herself doesn't have a name or identity outside of that distinction. However, I actually don't have negative self talk. I'm actually really positive self talk. I constantly tell myself that I can do anything I put my mind to. Failure's other name is growth. Fall down ten times, get up 11. My other favorite saying is "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks." I also remind myself that it's called the "model-T Ford" because perfection and takes time.
Yes! I want to do absolutely everything and it makes me feel crazy because that's literally impossible.
I have a full-time job as a data analyst and I'm a full-time graduate student with only a few classes left. I'm also interested in learning ML, I've started to learn the piano, and I'm learning to paint. I have dozens of non-fiction books I have purchased, started, and never finished. Now I'm just focused on reading fiction that interests me and right now that is horror and mysteries. I replaced my scrolling habit with reading at night and quickly read 2 books and started a 3rd in a week.
It's so hard to focus on one thing. Like right now... I have so many screens open.
Thanks Tina, exactly what I needed
i’ve never felt a video more relatable in my life
this video came at the most perfect time! THANK YOU
LOVE you and your confidence feeling motivated!
Wow, you started to do bioinformatics, i am currently doing my masters in bioinformatics and it's not as easy as i thought and i don't want to quit and give up on myself
Thanks for sharing ❤
If you quit quitting, are you still a quitter?
I really love your storytelling :) it's very captivating
I was considered a gifted kid! I’m what’s called twice exceptional, gifted AND neurodivergent. I’m gifted and I have a learning disability. It’s both. It took me a very long time to come to terms with that, but there you go!
i had to turn down the brightness of my monitor. that shine crazy
This video makes me really emotional, but everything you said is true. I feel I relate to all the types you said
baby steps over a few months can make the world of difference 🤗🤗🤗
What is your skin care routine and hacks? I would love to know 😊
So I started to learn Japanese, eat healthy, work out, and a new job a couple of months back. After I got the new job I slowly quit all of these in the exact order. Now I want to start learning to code c++/c# (haven't decided yet.) In hopes of changing my career and I really don't want to quit.... again.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
This video helped me understand so much about myself. Thank you!
My list:
1) full-time job as a journalist
2) teaching workshops on personal finance with homeless youth shelters and foster age-out programs
3) weekly live streams on youtube
4) co-writing a second book
5) Passing my top-level figure skating test (5-10 hours of training a week)
6) running an sizable online forum for finance
7) yoga 3-5 days/week
8) volunteering at bike event monthly
9) posting regular OOTDs on Instagram
10) building a triplex and running a channel about it
11) meal prep weekly
12) finally getting my splits back
13) running a weekly ride series
...holy shit I am doing a lot. No wonder I can't post videos on TH-cam consistently.
omg yes you're doing a lot!!
Related to most of this video, lol. Any small failure makes me think I won't ever make it, I constantly start spiraling in negative self talk, I work too hard and then stop suddenly. Not sure what to fix even now, lol
Thank you so much for making this video! I think that I'm a perfectionist, a self-sabotager, as well as the greedy one, and I tend to spiral when it doesn't go well. Talk about a mess lol. However, this video made me feel so much less alone. I'm at the stage in my life where everyone wants to know where I'm going to go and which career I'm going to college for. As a renaissance soul, this decision has felt SOOO stressful. But I got some great advice from your video which I plan to implement in my life and you made me want to embrace this trait. I like that I am interested in many things and I think the way the world views success needs to change. Being successful doesn't mean making the most money or having the most trophies. Sometimes being successful just means leading a happy life where you strive to be a good person. Where I used to see my failure (particularly in sports growing up) I now see it as a victory of sorts. I may have never won a trophy but I stayed and I kept trying even though I failed over and over and over again. I am grateful that a video like this exists out there and I feel like so many people will benefit from this.
I'm so glad this helps!! Gosh people have asked me that question as well my entire life and even now. It's our biggest strength when we use it well :)
Yep. I was told I was smart when I was a child, and some 40 years later I still hold myself to impossible standards and want to curl up and die of shame if I make even the tiniest mistake. I have made some improvements over the years, but the fear of failing and making an ass of myself is still very much there.
crazy how what we experienced when we were little can impact us so much years and years later!! it's something you can change now that you know!!
thank you Tina 🥲
"أنا لست أذكى من أي شخص آخر. ولست أقوى. أنا فقط لدي القدرة على الالتزام بخطة معينة وعدم الانسحاب."
~ جوني كيم
I envy those people who are fixed in their career or what they want to do in life, maybe I should embrace my being a Rennaissance type of person.
am so in the deep trying not to quit watching this video