You have no formal education. You are a fraud. You beg people to watch your videos so you can get ad revenue. No one who has ever """untaken""" the blackpill will have their problems solved. Nothing will change.
I've been trying to explain part of this to my friends, not with black pill, just absorbing negative information/news is making them unhappy and its better for them to ignore it or at least consume less of it.
@@Tailionis True, and if they were doing even a little to try and change those truths for the better I would encourage them, but all they do is be sad, nothing else comes from it. Being informed is good and healthy, being consumed by negativity and only negativity while ignoring the good is neither helpful nor accurate or 'true'.
Looksmax, settle, get extremely lucky, or die alone. These are your 4 options when it comes to online dating as an average looking guy. Hypergamy will continue to exist regardless of whether or not you choose to acknowledge it.
Those blackpill conclusions are only true for online dating, where you can't see much more than just pictures, so looks mostly matter. I've gone months trying online dating and only ever had 1 match and no date. Whereas when I've attended meetups or approached women in public, I got way more numbers and dates (and even hooked up with a girl one time). Honestly, seeing people go hopeless due to the blackpill is frustrating, and it's mostly because people are relying online dating more and more. Online dating sucks
This right here, how is it such a stretch of the mind to realize that women are people. Just as complex of a life for however many decades, same as anyone else. With terabytes of info in their brains and their own unique life experience, ideas, desires, fears, etm.
@@Hekinsieden online dating kind of objectivizes people, it's like selling a product. When I speak to women in person, I can bond with them like a human being.
Well its the thing, those are still really rough numbers for the real world. Top 20% of males still get basicly all the women, if you are anything less than that we can only find love if you are incredibly lucky and even so they will probably end up cheating or treating you badly becaus they would rather have somone who is better. Im not sure i want to be "settled for" And thats if im lucky. It's hard not to believe the black pill when i freaking live it every day.
@@thesaddestdude3575 just improve your looks as much as possible, and try approaching women/people in public to improve your social skills. I've seen way too many real life exceptions to the blackpill to the point that their conclusions fall flat to me. Wheatwaffles can probably give you good advice for improving, but that's about the extent of his usefulness imo.
The irony is that there's a disproportionate amount of men to women on all the dating apps and it's BECAUSE most women don't like a looks based approach to dating and need more than pictures to feel genuine attraction to men. Women on tinder don't represent the majority of women at all.
I had to delete the dating apps which gave me constant doses of rejection, unsubscribe from negative feedback loops on social media (turning off notifications being an important part of that if you keep the apps), and one day I found the courage to reach out to a therapist. I sold my Series X to afford the visits and the dark clouds in my life started to evaporate a little as the months went by. I got a little more energy. I found a gym with guys that didn't care about my weight or social awkwardness and were more than happy to teach me about fitness when I hadn't worked out in years. I kept showing up even though it was hard. The clouds start to drift further away. 11 months in, I look in the mirror and don't immediately think about despair. Mental health pros and a support network (like a gym or club) can really change your life guys.
That negativity cycle is the main reason I stopped visiting the ADHD subreddit. It was great to know I wasn't alone,but man that sub made me feel even worse after a while,there was just SO MUCH negativity that I ended up feeling depressed for quite a while.
I would say that number one (after just hearing the initial post): stop looking for friends on tinder. Most people are not on there for friends, so you already have a limited pool, but also women don't often believe when guys say "just looking for friends" because guys often lie about that to get in your pants. It's so hard to meet people offline, and I get that, but frankly meeting them online is frustrating too
Amen to that. Tinder has a pretty strong reputation for being a hookup platform. You are way more likely to find people who are interested in friendship by joining local clubs.
what a way to twist the narrative to blame the dudes. The reality is girls want hot guys to have sex on tinder and/or validation. Nothing else. If you say you just want to be friends it hurts their ego and they get mad.
@@paulogaspar8295 I'm not trying to twist the narrative. My point is that tinder is a shit place to look for friends because most people on there (including many people--guys and girls--who say they're just there for friends) are there for hookups or dating. The genders used in my comment reflected the genders in the post
I think it's much easier to understand the concept of a fart chamber than of an echo chamber, so I'll use it from now on. Thanks for the funny explanation! 😁
4:53 thats so true... looking at my social circle. i work with athletes so i know a lot of "chads" and average people. most chads dont have kids, because they have soo many opportunities that a lot of them cant handle a serious relationship. its like they suffer from the "being beautiful curse" or something. in the other hand, most average guys already have kids when they are 30 or even younger. i think social media has a huge impact on this. because a chad wants to always be the "high value man" forever. and having kids and a wife, puts you out of the market inmediatly (at least if you are a decent person).
Sure, but that doesn't do much for romantic relationships. My cousin is disfigured from terrible complications at birth, and he'll never find love because of it. That fucking sucks. He has to live life on extreme hard mode and it's not even due to his own actions, just shit luck. I'm not sure why people struggle to admit that some people are simply born unlucky.
@@omnissiah7247yes, but most people are not born with those same physical disfigurements, and those people should not be the basis the generalization is based on
@@EloWhisperer It was not a generalization, just stating the simple fact that some people are dealt a shit hand. It's not doing anyone any favours to ignore and deny the existence of those people because the thought of them makes you uncomfortable.
@@omnissiah7247 I’ve seen people with severe disabilities and disfigurements find love, get married, have children… It might be statistically harder for him, but definitely not impassible
Wheat waffles does present evidence though. He regularly uses studies in his videos to prove his points. He does not just make up his ideas out of nowhere. I don't agree with everything he is saying but I also don't agree with everything you are saying. You don't just discredit people's points of view. I noticed you don't actually check the content your subreddit members are mentioning before talking about it. I don't think it's right to judge the content you haven't yet seen.
His video isn’t serving to refute wheatwaffles or whatever. I agree with you, many channels have evidence, but I don’t think the point of his channel is to do that; it’s to respond to an overarching zeitgeist by giving advice and perspective. Wheatwaffles May have valid points, but Dr. K seems to rather address the ideas of dating
There are a lot of evidences that earth is flat. And what? You don’t understand Dr.K point of view. It’s not about some channels. It’s about psychology of traumatic experience and echo-chambers. Which don’t allow you see the world.
💯 There are so many aspects blackpill concerns, but normies only focus on the ones they feel are the weakest. They'll never dare touch on the importance of looks in careers.
AFAIK blackpills don't exactly think that only handsome guys get dates. They think women in their prime years can afford to be much more picky that rationally justified. After that, men's chances go up (but can end up as a provider in an unhappy relationship). The other part of this belief (ugly=creepy, handsome=flirty) is kind of justified. There are plenty of studies that people are biased towards a good-looking person.
cancer survival is a perfect analogy , i also nearly died, and once did die for 2 minutes, and was revived and ....the survival years that follow are strong, as you said resiliant, etc, great show HG !!!!!!!!!!! however , later on my wife and son died in the Thai Tsunami , and that has been harder to bounce back from .
4:30 I think this argument falls apart, because the statement is about current situation, not what was happening 40 or even 20 years ago. There was no internet like we know it today. No dating sites. Most of the people met each other in close geographical proximity and in real life. Now it is completely different. Women have access to literally UNLIMITED pool of dudes. No wonder they will not settle for an average guy, especially socially awkward and not good looking. And no wonder that sometimes wiring inside brains of both genders is fried and no longer works properly.
Also data from tinder and other dating apps is showing that this statistic in true. Maybe not exactly 10%, I don't remember how much exactly, but tendency is there and it is clearly visible.
Also "just go outside and see who has kids", and second later he demolishes his argument of going outside, because it is not real experiment. Real statistics show, that men on average are in celibate much more often than women. Are much more lonely. And again - that women are picking only top percent of the guys. This is what data is showing.
@@Moose92411 I did not turn physical fitness into an outlet for negative emotions. I just sit at my PC all day, not going outside, and when I try to exercise, it usually makes me feel awful, and I never want to do it again. - I'm not obese, but I sure am not fit, and lots oh health issues. Not too serious yet, but I can see the trajectory... I am also tired all the time, and have no willpower to improve anything. - and I have no idea what my outlet for negative emotions is, if I have any. I just focus on either intellectual stuff, or "fun" stuff, that is sufficiently attention capturing for me to ignore the awful reality around. (which, relative to others is probably not even that bad, but my brain interprets it as not worth living in)
@@Verrisin have you started really small? If you did ten pushups a day, or walked one mile a day, for a week, then moving to 11 or 1.25 miles, and holding yourself accountable along the way?
@@Moose92411 I don't like going outside, but I did daily exercises, for about 5 days. Then I got sick, so I stopped, and did not restart for a long time. - I tried a few times after, sometimes even smaller stuff than what you wrote... I just always gave up after 1-5 days. - It's what I said about willpower: Now and then I feel like I can do it ... but most days I dread getting up to go pee. 😕 - I definitely don't think I've ever managed to hold myself accountable. Giving up is easier. (I don't believe I will be successful anyway.)
handsome guys have 2 advantages how handsome they are helps a lot but mostly being handsome makes them more likeable to be confident in themselves, and thats a a major part
@@Couscous77 im only saying that ugly people tend to be less confident when talking to girls due to their look is kinda an insecuritie in a lot of cases, im not saying that its the best confidence
@@Couscous77 nope, being good looking is important for your confidence since you receive nothing but positive reinforcement, which makes you feel belong.
4:30 looking at older generations doesnt help. Men had it easier back then and women now awadays are settling and feel annoyed at it with average guys. 1/3 of all men today are virgins what does that tell you?
My boyfriend and i did meet over the internet, but we didn't even see each other's face for the first year or so because it really didn't matter whatsoever :) we fell in love over each other's personalities, our connection etc., which (btw) is how true love, opposed to a stupid superficial crush, actually works. We saw each other's faces for the first time probably half a year after we started falling in love with each other. We met on an art/anime community online and talked about politics, anime etc. Looks don't matter to everyone. I'm 20, he's 18. So... "Young people" (and what's frankly very disrespectful and hurtful, "women") aren't like that, you just choose to believe that. Probably because you got hurt and find it easier to give into being hopeless, which is your choice. It's a real waste, but it's your choice. What's not fair though is going around and spreading lies about this stuff, because that affects other people negatively, like for example me. It's insulting. I'm not that simple-minded. And you're spreading these lies about me, about many other people who try being good people, good gf's/bfs etc.
Society and its members are adapting _around_ the internet. We're finding what's great online (shopping) and what when put online works worse (dating).
Yes, exactly! Dating sites is like window shopping. We're just looking and trying stuff to see what works and what needs improvement. Real relationships is like investing in a portfolio and you can't do that easily online when it comes to a person because you miss out on so much. To go back to the smells analogy, a shampoo might look nice online but until you are in contact, it may not smell so nice. Smell, taste, feel, touch and hear. We experience someone as well as our reality with all of our available senses.
Online dating is the new norm. Back in highschool *ALL* girls in my graduation class had Tinder and were swiping left on 99% of guys. Most had 20 year old 6'7 Gigachad mogger boyfriends. Saying blackpill is wrong is literally lying.
@@j.d.s.1837 explain to me how ALL girls manage to end up with the 0.5% of guys that are 6'7? just because youre a loser doesn't mean you have to drag everyone down with you, most people find a partner, go touch some grass
@@j.d.s.1837 what i don't get about black pill is, even if it's not wrong, why give a crap? Like, do you really need to be in a relationship/laid to live a fulfilling life?
Black pill term is cringe but the idea is truth. Looks are in fact mostly genetics. And they are the most important thing in dating, it’s not everything but it’s the most important thing. These are facts
Women don't care about looks as much as men do. If a guy is a pleasant person to be around he is more than likely to be successful in dating as long as he puts in proper effort.
@@spotscorner6040 "You'd be an Incel if you weren't hot " most out of pocket blackpill thing I have ever heard lmao. You know for sure you are attractive after that.
You said "...go to a park [or a grocery store where people have kids and observe how attractive are the parents because if women are only willing to date the top 10% of guys what you should find is every [woman] should have a [man] who's in the top 10% looks wise." The point you are trying to make is a flawed one. Women aren't getting wifed up by the top 10% of guys they are only sleeping with them. The rest are summarily ignored until women enter the epiphany phase in their 30s and all of sudden want to "Settle" for less value men. Furthermore this phenomenon of women being extremely choosy has really only been going on for the last 5 maybe 10 years at most since the advent of online dating has exploded. Online dating has made it possible for women to get way way way more attention from guys than they normally would and inflates egos beyond healthy levels so women think they deserve that top tier guy. I know this is a year old podcast and you are usually very well versed with your topics but you need to do some more research on this one good sir.
It's not just physical appearance that makes a guy attractive to a woman. There's a whole lot of other stuff that's going on. It has to be genuine, but confidence, self-esteem, positive energy and a casual, relaxed attitude can all be very attractive.
Is there a name for this concept? AFBB? Fuck, I don't want to be settled for. I really hate this line of thinking because I know it'll be me in 10 years. And yeah older guys like dr k that have been out of the dating pool for 5 or 10 years really cannot speak on current dating culture. Same with boomers saying "just go talk to her champ" they're just too out of touch.
@@Jen.K All the other qualities can be linked to the looks aswell. An attractive man will be confident or have self esteem while an unattractive one will be perceived as arrogant or cocky. Casual and relaxed will be perceived as boring etc.
@Richaroo There's definitely a degree of truth to the black pill, but saying getting a job is completely dependent on your attractiveness is a ridiculously massive overstatement. With the right skills, you can do contract work from your chair, online, without having your face published. And irl, minimum wage jobs don't give a crap how you look. They'll take just about anyone. Especially with the labor shortage. And for a final counterexample: Asmongold. He goes weeks at a time without showering and has a room littered with trash and is a huge twitch streamer.
@Richaroo nothing can you make you taller or attractive, no matter how much you lift. Self improvement is important, but it isn't gonna save you. To me, the only thing I'm aiming for is money, it's the best cope I have. I just want to live financially stable.
@@jakejason4333 evidence +based treatments. It is a specific form of therapies, and not what you think I meant but something you would no doubtedly benefit from.
I'm unable to get a date, even with someone who is significantly heavier than me. My anxiety level is irrelevant to the fact that women won't date me due to my physical appearance. I'm 5'9" and have been going to the gym 5-6 times a week for 2 years. There is no gym for my face. Leading with my job title and income is just a recipe for someone to use me for my money. I rarely even come across single women outside of work and the gym, two places that I've been told my advances are unwelcome. For context: I interact with the public at my job and have no one interested in me. I've tried dating apps, have swiped nearly 100,000 times on Tinder and have no one interested in me. Nothing he said in the video refutes my experience.
Dude ive been single 5 years went through some heavy stuff that burried me, my child got injured im a single dad so had to. It wiped my great paying job and all my money and i was doing good before lived good had plenty of savings. Anyways the event rocked me im unemployed broke and ive just felt like a loser lately, i do zilch except raise my kid. Dont see friends for 2-3 years only people ive talked to were 6 year olds the past couple years for real. my heads been down all the time in a dark place. couldnt think of dating or being wanted in this state, i wasnt even looking i have no value right now. Then out front doing whatever the neighbour girl walks up and introduce herself, shes been my neighbour for 2-3 years, lol. Our doors are ten feet apart.not once have i ever looked at her at all. She has even said hi before my head down im like ya whatever hi back, dont even look. So she introduce herself again kinda went out of her way, i was stunned shes hot, i didnt even tell her my name back, lol. I blew it whatever. so our kids play once and she gives her number. Blow the texts too is she flirting nah dont believe it, i lightly try to flirt back a bit, text back a bit to long, damn blew that too. Shes throwing signals its over my head im oblivious to it nah shes just being nice, im a loser right now im unemployed broke damn. But then i start crushing on her a bit beating myself up nightly like heartache for a girl i dont even know really. I dont even leave my house, how this neighbour find me this is all in my head. Were both shy its painful but damn i kinda think she throwing it out there and pretty much asked me out for dinner. and I still blew that somehow. every text im like oh god i blew it again, say too much, overly nice, its amazing how badly i did and still am doing. Well heres it is. we got a date lined up, we seem to really like each other. But im being real with myself and it will probably go no where and ill be crushed after. Anyways the moral and point of the story is, it always comes when you LEAST expect it. And eventually a tiny bit of light comes that can bring you out of the darkness.
I'm sorry man. Yeah, dating is absolutely brutal for men: - 60% of young men are single - women only go for the top 5% on tinder - women rate 80% of men as "below average" That's what the research says, as much as people don't want to hear these things. I think most of the anti-black-pill messaging comes from: - people just emotionally not liking it - those people who are in a happy relationship living in such a completely different world that they can't wrap their heard around the perspective of a man who genuinely can't find a date. If I was the type of man who relatively easily found a girlfriend and now I'm happily married, then yeah I'd also be inclined to think "just clean yourself up a bit and go date." - and the belief that "black pill is harmful, telling men to improve and go date is helpful" but... is it? Obviously in some cases yes, in some cases no because it's just more societal gaslighting. I'm getting a bit sick of this attitude of "we can't tell the dumb masses the facts, instead we must tell them what motivates them to keep running in their hamster wheel, and what stops them from forming so-called bad opinions." Honestly, I think the black pill position is a bit like the "working hard isn't worth it under late-stage capitalism" crowd. In both cases there are people who want to tell them "just work harder and you'll succeed", and certainly individuals can succeed just by working harder... however most won't. That's just the cold statistics. Most people don't fall outside the norm, by definition.
@twelvecatsinatrenchcoat It's not giving up hope in yourself, its accepting your circumstances in life and not allowing your unmet desires to conquer your sanity. You are okay whether you get something you want or not because you have in-built stoicism and self sufficiency
Really interesting video! I actually had a similar experience to what was explained here since the pandemic started, albeit not with black-pill communities. I got a bad case of infectious mononucleosis/EBV in July 2020 that has since gone chronic and, up until April or so of this year was constantly reading chronic fatigue horror stories/reddit posts, as well as lurking and trying to be supportive within the CFS/CEBV community. Finally, I stopped following those communities on reddit (I moved them to a private feed that I check once a month for any clinical progress on treating them) and, at around that time, noticed my fatigue start to get a little more manageable and that I was no longer quite as depressed about still being chronically ill. In essence, cutting those inputs off from my day to day life made it easier to see myself as *more* than being chronically ill.
@@plesiosaurmilk Still sick with Chronic Ebstein Barr Virus (the virus that causes mono). Basically, I get what feels like a flu (but is mono) every month for about a weekend or so and am constantly feeling like I'm about to get sick/have recently been sick. As for my first bout of it, I think I was sick with full bed-ridden symptoms for about 2 months
I'm glad you made a post - I relate to you a bit as I recently had lung surgery due to a recurring collapsed lung and there's a chance this nasty disease will continue to be a problem in the future leading to more scary moments. I'm trying to come to a point where I can only do so much research and safe precautions (often too safe for the average person I think) without sacrificing the quality of life or life that I'm trying to protect. Maybe my ability to work and live without anxiety day-to-day outweighs some of that but it's hard to do esp. with COVID and being in a time where the only certain thing is more uncertainty
true, people are disguising themselves in all sorts of matters. you decide to take the black pill. and even for that it takes work. it’s no easy that’s why it’s called the black pill because it’s bitter, i drink black coffe all the time ^^!
@@rippedchandler3976bold of you to assume you have the ability to know what the "truth" is. None of us do man. Religion tries, Sciences maybe, Socio-economic theory? Probably not. We're so far from knowing wtf is the truth that we might as well make our own reality lmao.
@ you just gotta accept the truth as how it is, and live your life as how it is. all these content creators will give you ideas of religion, buddhism, etc, you name it. but it all comes to your own ideologies and living life being your own true self. all of this it’s said by a true Samaritan
@@rippedchandler3976 You don't really know shit about the truth. It's just your confirmation bias kicking in. Try touching some grass, taking a shower and actually making an effort to be happy so that your life isn't as miserable as you portray to be 😂
I want to unalive myself if i get the opportunity to do so, but circumstances and the fact that it will ruin my parents emotionally and financially held me back whenever I want to do so. I hate myself
I think you are quite nice dude, but many people who are in the blackpill once believed that they could improve themselves only to be crushed by reality, very likely multiple times, how can you convince them that what they lived wasn't real?
@@saltator8565 I’m sorry, but what make you any different than anyone else who has been rejected and had to dust themselves off and keep trying (I.e. literally everyone) Why is your outrage about how YOU feel physically judged so justified when so many of you live on forums that talk sht about ugly women? I’m going to give you a piece of advice that Dr K is far too nice to give - your looks aren’t the problem, your ugly attitude is. No woman is going to put up with a guy who behaves like an emotionally underdeveloped, entitled sex pest who is obsessed with nothing but looks and has nothing but complaining to offer. You aren’t a victim, you’re no different than anyone else.
It’s hilarious to see how big Wheat Waffles has gotten to where I keep seeing large channels make videos about him. I found him when he had like 5 videos with 1000 views. His collabs with Alexander Grace and FACEandLMS really helped and from there he kept exploding
@@SB-nh7uv If you define black pill as a strict ideology then yes he is not black pilled. I am not either but I subscribe to many beliefs that are black pilled to most people. I get downvoted on Reddit no matter how logical and balanced I present the views bc most of society is profoundly delusional when it comes to why certain men get certain women. I had a guy literally tell me women get sexually aroused by money, these guys are living in fantasy land. A rich lesbian could pay a straight woman to be with her, doesn’t mean she’s attracted. Even Wheat I would argue is wrong about Tinder. Once you understand how Tinder works in that the reason most guys get few likes is just bc women aren’t seeing their profile+bad photos there’s no reason to think someone who didn’t give you the right swipe on Tinder is gonna say yes in person 99.99% of the time. There’s variation in the beliefs we hold about this stuff but we all share the impact of looks, predetermined limitations, and how hard it really is for most men to be successful with women. Which most of society doesn’t understand. They think an average guy who does x y and z could rack up a high body count if he wanted when in reality he’s lucky to reach 5 looksmatched women let alone above
Indeed. I firmly believe that no one understands average young men, because they're the only ones who are having to struggle with dating women who grew up with social media and Tinder.
@@lightworker2956 Eh, I'm an average young man. I don't really "struggle" with dating. The key is to just avoid Tinder and other dating apps. I barely get any matches on there, yet I regularly find opportunities to date women. Out of the many issues in the world, this is an easily solvable problem. Just get off the fucking apps and meet people in real life. Most people are cool and are not out to get you.
@@ruslankoller9891 most women do or have used tinder and know about pandoras box. every woman these days knows they have unlimited access to hundreds of men they can choose from. even women who dont seek the apps know it and it will influence them psychologically. the modern woman will never be satisfied with you if you got any big flaws in the areas of height, face, race, frame, status, money and so on. the modern woman knows she can branch out whenever she wants
Blackpill advice has literally brought more peace and excitement into my life. I don't feel frustrated by the bs that blue pilled people have fed me all my life...
Bro, the internet =/= real life Blue/Red/Black pills are the stupidest things ever, real life is way more complex than what a "Sigma male" on 4chan with no life experiences say
Black pill is not prescriptive, it is descriptive. It offers realistic view of dating market and dynamics. What you do with that is up to you, but since the reality is so harsh and so different from the blue pilled view of romantic relationships we are taught as kids, most people can’t face it and need a cope. Notice how every criticism of black pill is about “negativity”, which is basically people projecting their reaction were they to accept the truth of the black pill. It’s not a criticism of the truth of the matter. I’d argue the opposite - after the initial shock the black pill is freeing. You realize IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Some things are out of your control. You become stoic.
@@fireflyredux3373 black pill arguments aren't entirely false, but if you fixate on them, they become your entire narrative and it doesn't leave you with motivation to try and go beyond them...
@@oroderes If you consider black pill arguments to be false its because you have someone trying to sell you his online course on how to be a sigma male. All the black pill ever did was describe- accurately mind you- plainly and exactly how short-term relationships are becoming far more the norm than long term relationships and how that effects the male attractiveness bell curve. What you do with that information (Your actions + "motivation" as you put it) is entirely up to you and not the purview of the black pill. Which is exactly what OP said. It's giving you the cold hard truth of the matter, nothing more, nothing less. If you can't figure out what "descriptive" vs "prescriptive" is, that's on you. If you think you can outperform the black pill with self-help books and cardio your sadly mistaken and will probably spend the rest of your life labeled as a "creep" by women. (That's for 3's and below on the female Short Term dating market, aka 85-92% of all sexual relationships atp) And to answer your question, yes, ugly people date ugly people and get married. Talk to any ugly guy whos currently or used to put himself out there (I was one till I got mass and cleared my acne, look at that, a direct source!) and he'll tell you that not even the ugly women wanted him. His DM's weren't dull, they we're nonexistent.
I think the biggest struggle for some, in order to "stop believing in [insert color pill here]", is that some of what these people are saying is true. Yes, physical attraction is an important component in someone's desire to be with another. Yes, attraction has a lot to do with shallow/arbitrary characteristics that have nothing to do with if you're a "good person", or anything else you would think or hope makes you desirable to another. It's what can make dating so frustrating and hard. Where black/redpill types go wrong is getting hung up on these things and thinking they are all that matter, but I think it's easy to see why. When I talk to women or people in general, I feel sort of disillusioned about the whole thing because I see some of this stuff too. I don't know of any woman who's ever been attracted to me, for example, that didn't mention my looks at least once, so it's hard not to feel like it matters so much, even if it's not all they care about.
Looking good is hard and takes hard work. That makes it a GOOD measure of romantic suitability. Why would this be a depressing idea? Yes there's some people that get a head start. But once you're in your 30s, or even late 20s, there's no way to keep it up without massive amount of work, discipline, and asthetic talent. Attractiveness is not just a shallow measure of a person. It correlates (not perfectly) with long-term mindset. You might be beautiful on the inside. If you are, show it. Find clothing that looks good on you. Experiment with cheap jewlery/accessories. Take care of your health, by eating well and caring about yourself. Demonstrate the ability to love yourself by showering regularly, wearing deoderant, and brushing your teeth. Give your body the exercise it needs to live a long life. Live optimistically about the future and your presence in it, and these behaviors will come easily, without effort. If you do those things, you'll be attractive. It's that simple. It might take time to dig out of the hole, but its simply a question of persistence. There is nothing stopping pretty much anyone from doing these things. (The best part? Do these things and you'll be living a great life, maybe to the point where being single will stop being such a burden) If you can't do these things, it says a LOT about what is going on inside you. And honestly, why shouldn't people use physical appearance then as a shortcut measure of romantic suitability?
@@anthonyskrzypczak9437 This is so facts, couldn't have said it better. If someone can't at least portray themselves in a confident and attractive way, I think it says a lot about their romantic suitability. Not everything, but when relationships require time, effort, and emotional investment, of course people will weigh their options with extreme scrutiny. I find that people that consider attractiveness to be a shallow measure, are typically unhappy with themselves.
@@anthonyskrzypczak9437 um non of this is going to make you taller or change your facial structure the most important looks factors can bearly be changed no matter how much effort you put in minus surgery which had tge possibilities of making things worse
@@PrincessMeganLeigh statistically speaking physical attraction is the biggest determinor or relationship access and success. look up the study "stated preferences vs what actually lead to relationships in speed dating trials" ot show that while ladies say they care about intelligence and personality those things did not actually predict dating success looks did about the same amount for both men and ladies. so in other words it's not that men cant conceptualize attraction that isn't physically its that men are honest.
"Go out looking for parents. If women are only willing to date the top 10% you should only see good looking guys married." This argument falls apart when you consider women who want to date and want to have sex with one type of man, but settle down and have a family with another type of man. I never got a date in my life, and I've been married for 13 years (together for 21) with my first and only girlfriend, while I'm her 14th or 15th partner. A woman like my wife would never in her worse nightmares would have dated a guy like me when we were both in our late teens or early 20s.
@@untilm at 25-30 years old having 15 partners is not even that many. i'm a 24 year old male and have had over 10 long/short term partners, some serious others not so much. i'd be more wary of someone who's had 3 long term (+2 year) relationships fail than someone who has had casual hook ups and summer flings etc. Long term relationships are kept alive by personality and the ability to co operate and communicate with your partner.
@@Modi_ Studies show marriage success is inversely proportional to the number of past partners a person has had, I think including hookups. I think I'd rather date someone who has had 3 long-term failed relationships than someone who has had many hookups.
@@untilm its becoming more and more normal for people to hook up at early adulthood for millenials/zoomers. older studies into infidelity in marriage most likely overlook the fact that sleeping around with a lot of different partners wasn't that socially accepted or normal in the 70's/80's like it is now. i get where you're coming from tho, my gf of 3 years has had close to 15 partners and only a single over a year long relationship before we started dating.
The park is not evidence. That's survival bias. You don't know how many people are lonely and therefore are not in the park. You don't know how many of those will be divorces, you don't know how many of those couples are faithful.
@@stickmouse5002 How so. Park is a bad sample size. Looking at the park is not scientific. And, when I look at parks, I see obese women with decent men.
@@AkiRa22084 there is no missing data in the park example. there are handsome and ugly men with handsome and ugly women. it doesn't matter who's lonely and who's divorced because the whole point of the black pill is that your success in dating is entirely dependent on your looks. Also you're just seeing what you want to see when you go to the park
@@stickmouse5002 Then it's not a study of any use. You can easily say that any exceptions you see prove the rule. BP is talking about trends anyway, they don't say it's impossible. Small sample size is useless in this discussion. "you're just seeing what you want to see" - But we can say the same thing for HG, too. How do you not realize this?
i'm not into any of these pill bullshits but in this 24 years of my life i learned that (don't get me wrong i'm not a some depressif doomer or smt, i have a beautiful life and i'm very happy about it) LOOKS IS EVERYTHING, not everything but everything... Sad truth. I'm not saying it should be or must be but most of the people thinks that way so that's a fact, there is nothing to do about it.
@ReadmyBioo Clueless. Looks are everything and this brown doctor is just a grifter who helps no one. The blackpill isn't a negative thing, it's just reality and it's better to stop gaslighting ugly and short men.
I never went blackpilled, but God damn the algorithm is trying to make me, holy shit. The amount of MGTOW, Red Pill and bullshit that randomly gets recommended to me lately is insane. I've definitely seen an increase with figures like Andrew Tate popping more and more. So fucking annoying
@@HideorEscape Oh I know. But tbf, it's also a little bit my fault. From time to time, I can't help to click on them. It's like watching a trainwreck. I mean, have you seen those Andrew Tate videos? It's like scientist found a way to time warp a troglodyte neandertal to our modern age and gave him a YT crash course. The thing is, you click on one and clearly the algo knows this stuff is addicting because it immediately pushes like 5 other video. It's like a plague
The issue is the blackpill theory has a counterpoint to your point of "just look outside at people who have parents it's not objectively true that the husbands are all chads." Blackpill says women have fun in their 20s and later settle down with a guy who has money who looks average or below average. Because he is a provider. Also he claims that everyone following wheat waffles already agrees with him and that you're entering an echo chamber. Wheat waffles started with no community and built his community because people were intrigued with what he had to say. The same could be said about your channel. Your theories and ideas about psychology are why people follow you. And you could classify your community as an "echo chamber" as well of people who subscribe to your ideas and advice for their life.
"Blackpill says women have fun in their 20s and later settle down with a guy who has money who looks average or below average" This has too many variable to be a factual statement. Generally, looks and financial wealth are factors in being successful at finding a relationship, but they're not set the de facto standard, even for women that have historically dated attractive men/rich men. In some cases, they can either be of miniscule importance or not important at all. "Also he claims that everyone following wheat waffles already agrees with him and that you're entering an echo chamber" "The same could be said about your channel" This is not a statement dr. k would disagree with. You seem to either have not paid attention to the video, or cut it off before watching the whole thing, but his channel and blackpill communities all share one thing in common, and that's they're a place to vent and be validated by other ppl's ventings. He says that about his channel himself. The only difference is that for his channel, there is more to it than just venting, because if all you do is vent, all you do is get stuck with negative thoughts only that further take you down a hole.
@@harsh3948 You're acting like someone came in and rebutted all my points when they didn't. One guy came in and talked about the age women marry and that wasn't even something I mentioned.
I probably held the incel blackpill in my hands for an entire year or two, before ultimately discarding it. Looking back, it's kind of funny, since I spent a lot of effort to see if there was any way out. I think the reasons why I didn't consume it ultimately ended up being three things. 1. I didn't have enough anger and tendency to blame my problems on people (maybe that's self-blame, self-responsibility, or just passiveness) 2. I was kind of leaning more towards FA (forever alone) and discovered a TH-camr name Monday Blue Monday or something like that, who was also exploring his current state of singleness. He was incredibly thoughtful and meticulous. In case you're wondering, he got a GF through TH-cam and disappeared when the incel-sphere turned on him. 3. I'm very cautious of groups that agree with each other too much (comes from my pride as a loner, that's a work in progress) Honestly, those years of my life were a desperate struggle. It felt like I was in a cave digging a tiny tunnel with my hands while some much larger monster was clawing away at the other end. I was clawing for an escape. Looking back, I was trying to find any reason to disprove it, because it felt like commiting to the blackpill would mean accepting that there was no hope. I didn't want to believe that the world was full of selfish people who literally only used physical attractiveness and money to determine who to be partners with. Believing in things like looksmaxing, copium, monkeybranching are really enough to make anyone lose hope and become bitter, resentful people. Believing that everyone secretly shoots for the top 10% in attractiveness, despite being in a committed relationship is enough to make anyone give up on a relationship without even trying to get one. I don't really know what changed me. It wasn't an overnight process for sure. I spent most of 2018 and 2019 thinking about these things and trying to extract the true bits. I read psychology literature and really tried to analyze my way out. However, one of the things that really helped me was to look at real people. Don't just look at them on the surface level. Like actually examine them for every fiber of their being. Look at normal people and not just the cherrypicked horror stories you find online. A lot of my fear and ignorance came from the fact that I was afraid of people being shitty shallow idiots, while not actually looking to see if they were like that. Maybe I lucked out, because my social group during the pandemic was a bunch of volunteers who were honestly great people. To be honest though, they're great people in spite of their flaws. I don't really think I can give any solid advice for others struggling in this way without coming off as a trite bastard. You kinda have to commit to this process for a solid amount of time and learn. Learn about yourself, learn your tendencies, and learn about others and maybe then you'll be able to see something that's more than the blackpill. There is more to life than just looks, money, social status, etc. That's the core of the blackpill, and it's something you can get caught up in if you have tunnel-vision
Also, I think my first Dr. K video was the interview with the guy who wasn't really a hard incel. That really helped too. Still single now as ever, but I'm not feeling desperate or constricted by hopelessness In fact, I'm kind of just vibing, relationships feel attainable but not completely in demand, like I have other stuff to do
Bonus points for citing Monday Blue Monday! He was the true Chad all along. The "Look at real people, not horror stories from the Internet" is actually the best advice. Incels are extremely Terminally Online and think on Humanity only at terms of their online behaviours. Many Incels could potentially spit out the Blackpill if, when they see couples outside, didn't seethe in envious rage but instead noticed that the men in such couples are almost never ultra-rich Gigachads, and if women are monkeybranching they ought to be living the dream in some harem instead of living in overpriced studio apartments and working in crappy jobs.
@@phosspatharios9680 Here is my issue. It is societally accepted, even encouraged that women can vent and openly show frustration towards men, and I'm not just talking about rape but for example how men are attracted to their bodies in general. And thats fine. But if progressivism doesn't leave at least a tiny bit of space for men to express something like that too (for example how the pursuer-pursued dynamic still abso-fucking-lutely exists and how that comes with it's own set of frustrations), it will be very very hard to stop the red/blackpill. Just my opinion.
Why would it? Dr K would say yup it is a meat platter and people will take advantage of it as much as they get away with. Hed then say if you don’t have success on there then get off there. Simple as that.
It’s another load of bullshit you can obviously work on yourself and mindset but you can’t force attraction to women if they don’t find you attractive because of your face or height for instance
DR k is talking so much non sense his explanations are not even proven by empirical data while Blackpillers have a ton of evidence. Watch women behavior if you want the answer, most women are lovely when they find you attractive. It’s another load of bullshit you can obviously work on yourself and mindset but you can’t force attraction to women if they don’t find you attractive because of your face or height for instance.
@@issac7787 Going outside for some pointless lonely walk? Yeah, that's simple, at least as long as you're physically healthy enough to do so but it doesn't get you anywhere just the same as sitting at home.
This is a really helpful video. The way you explained seeing your problems in someone else made a lot of sense. I don’t have the same issues as OP, but I still saw my own issues. The part about distracting yourself and things building up especially resonated. Thanks Dr. K
@@Nei982 Well, kind of. I did lose a lot of weight. But until I found the blac kpill I was convinced that I was just a loser and that losing weight wouldnt matter anyways, I was always told that looks arent important and that I should focus on improving my personality. I was suicidal and didnt want to live. After learning about the bp it gave me some hope that its not over so I lost the weight and I magically went from being an incel to girls literally trying to initiate flirting with me. All these years I had an attractive face hiding behind the fat and I didnt even know it.
"taking the blackpill" isn't an issue I have now (though I went through a period where I started feeling the start of that), but this video is a really good breakdown of any negative spiral feedback loop and how to break out of it. Becoming aware of particular emotions and triggers, learning to be okay with the uncomfortable emotions instead of having to do something to get rid of them *right now*, and eventually growing away from those destructive thought patterns is ultimately the core of most healing cycles I've been through or seen experienced. It's hard, it sucks to do and it feels like you're "just ignoring the problem" sometimes but it really does work and helps you be so much happier (or at least more content) in the long run.
DR k is talking so much non sense his explanations are not even proven by empirical data while Blackpillers have a ton of evidence. Watch women behavior if you want the answer, most women are lovely when they find you attractive. It’s another load of bullshit you can obviously work on yourself and mindset but you can’t force attraction to women if they don’t find you attractive because of your face or height for instance.
@@xtdycxtfuv9353 This is like refusing to ever go to the gym because you know you'll never compete with the beefcakes. That's not why you're going to the gym lol. You're going to the gym because it will make you feel better about yourself and improve your well-being and you'll grow as a person.
48:19-48:43 actually made me well up. I have some friends, good friends too. But mostly I want to be alone. I don't want to be a burden on others. I don't think I can actually help them, and then if I come burdening, I feel guilty. And of course I won't actually open up, because that's a huge burden. The sort of burden I don't seem myself taking for others. So I just stay alone. Keep to myself. Think about things myself. And that sucks.
Tell me more about how its all going to be alright and how I should just bury my head in the sand to cope. Im sure that'll help me feel better. What do you do when you see reality backing up this black pill stuff? Choose to ignore it? At what point do we admit that we're ignoring reality to feel better. The problem is that even if you pretend its not there, reality doesn't go away.
It’s not natural to give up on mating yes some people are so screwed it’s almost impossible but that doesn’t make black pill worthwhile. A good percentage of black pillers are just people who have low self esteem and found an ideology that appeals, for this reason people will never agree to the black pill it’s not a positive mindset
Saying you should 'untake the black pill' is like saying you should embrace delusional instead of truth and fact. Knowing and accepting the black pill does not mean you have to think about it and/or watch videos 24/7... If it bothers you, learn it, understand it, then put it to one side and try to enjoy life by doing other things.
@Nei982 I would think it depends on the person. I wouldn't tell anybody to give up completely, but realistically, if you are very physically unattractive then it might be best not to obsess over relationships and try to move on and find fulfilment in other way's. Would you tell a 5 foot tall guy to pursue his dream of becoming a professional basketball player to the expense of other career's? Or would you tell him to accept reality? I think it can be dangerous for guy's to NOT be blackpilled. There is value in having this knowledge. So many guy's are clueless.
@@MR-el2ym Except, the evidence for the blackpill and the wider in//cel community is based entirely on IG, TikTok, Snap, and YT. And its whole basis for someone’s ability to get in the door with a woman is based on online dating. There is no empirical peer reviewed study that supports the ideology of the in//cel community. If you can provide me one please tell me
4:38 This arguent is false, because that was pre-internet era and most people matched throught their social circle. Females picked from 20 males around them max. Now with internet females can pick and chose from 1000s of men.
Well, one thing's for sure, we're going to see about 40 percent women single and childless within the next decade. The only way to account for this is that women are being super-picky.
This is such an important topic and I have to say I love your work and how you approach these topics. You're incredibly wise and your breakdowns of issues like this are very nuanced. For anyone wondering, even people considered to be attractive can be blackpilled too. I don't say this as discouragement but rather to emphasize that happiness and satisfaction come from finding value and enjoyment in your own life. I find that this is easier said than done, but even taking a small step in that direction can make a huge difference. I wish everyone luck in becoming their best selves and hopefully in turn finding a great partner!
Even if it's just Facial aesthetics, anthropology, biology, evolution, and evolutionary psychology even economics, you can see that looks and height still play a huge role in success in dating and career. You don't have to be an incel or a black piller. It's just Science. It is what it is.
Plus there's anthropological data that there were massive gender imbalances in reproduction. The only thing i think has really changed is that the "losers" are more visible now thanks to better data and the internet
There's about 20 minutes of dead space in the middle of the video between 32:30 and 54:20 roughly. Great commentary, I think this is a very helpful video even outside of relationship/incel context just because I think so many of us have fucked up understanding of our emotions. I never really thought about the fact I never got passed just venting.
@@florenceicu Yeah you can return to a fog of lies and deception. Blackpill doesn't make you positive and happy but blue/red pill makes you absoluetly miserable.
See thats the problem, the black pill tell you something extremely obvious people already know "you're not going to beliive this but looks matter you guys" and you mfs take it to the extreme, yall need to chill the fuck out
@@florenceicu You can't unlearn what you have already learned, you can of course try to avoid reality and facts to keep yourself ignorant in the future, but the question is why? Why purposefully deny seeking the truth knowing it will screw you over down the line? People amaze me. The phrase "toxic positivity" exists for a reason. When you try so hard to avoid reality in order to save your feelings from getting hurt only to get screwed over down the line due to your purposeful ignorance.
You have to realise there's is no problem for people not liking you because of your looks ..I am sure you too haven't liked someone because of their looks without even realising
I have this view, but with race., specifically Asian Women and White Men. The trick to go outside and see couples doesn't work for me (as an Asian male) because when I go outside, most Asian women are with white guys. Not saying that it's wrong, it's just my observation and feeds my insecurities
Most Asian guys don't even put in an ounce of effort to look presentable plus they're raised by the culture to be passive, meek submissive betas. No woman likes that.
The grocery store example does not hold up since most of that is one generation away. If I look around at my female and male friends the amount of damage online dating has done is staggering
You are talking to a wall. They pick some young aged doomers (like waffles) and present them as the majority of cels. Even now, that red pillers are turning black and many people completly accept and use bp terms from the celwiki themselves, now. Just ask the creator of this clip.: What would be needed in order to prove common bp knowledge? How many more statistics and how many more million experiences do you need? I find it funny, that people ask this guy about that topic. JFL. Imagine him going out and asking girls out. Holy mother Macree... Then after he got rejected by every single girl, that doesn't know about his internet fame, he walks back into his room. Sits on his chair and tells you, that it is all bs. The bp is not true at all 🤣
@@timothywade9618 Yes Yes Yes you don’t have a choice, loneliness is one of the biggest factors for unhappiness and decrease of life expectancy you have a biological and survival based imperative to get out there denying it will only hurt in the long run
I love how everyone who has any success in dating sounds exactly like a republican talking about what people of color deal with. It's literally just "the system worked for me so that means there's nothing wrong with it, because then I might feel invalidated. So obviously it's your fault." Doesn't seem like the Dr K community is having it judging by the comments.
I feel like being real about how much looks matter is very important. If you are really really unattractive, you would do good to yourself to just stop desiring certain kinds of relationships and just focus on other things in life. But I guess taking that pill partially is just going to be negative
Flawed way of thinking. You can’t just “stop desiring” food and water. People have needs, I don’t want a society where some people just give up on life due to bad luck
@@eanderson9599 It's the realization that no one is born with the same deck of cards and thus not everyone can get everything they want. Just because you desire something doesn't mean you'll get it.
@@eanderson9599 he is right. As an ugly man, it helps for me to give up on love and relationships because it is unrealistic and impossible to achieve. The realization hurts especially when the loneliness kicks in but at least I can spend energy on other things in life.
Even burn survivors get relationship, even people with messed up faces from FAS get relationship, to think that you won't find relationship because you are ugly is foolish at best. Sincerely, an ugly guy
I see His comments about group therapy reflected in my interactions with school clubs. When I go to anime club no one is going to judge my love for fictional pirates and mecha battles. Has really helped me get out of my shell. Now I can talk to people about the things I’m passionate about with far less feelings of anxiety.
I respect your opinion Dr.K but I have to diagree with your example. Yes, not all father are in top 10% but that is because women look outside the top 10% when they are in their mid 30s and running out of option (just see the average age of marriage) In addition, even then women feel they are settling. 70-80% of divorces are initiated by women. Men are judged by what we can bring to the table, which maybe looks charisma and resources. You are confusing the desire for security and reseouces later on in life, with guinine attraction.
dont think i ever identified as an incel/femcel at any point but i did feel those feelings of undesirability and worthlessness for a lot of my high school years... once i got a job, started college, and met a lot more people i realized how close minded that viewpoint was
@@outlaster3431 Not op, but I can answer on my behalf. When you change/expand your environment, you start to see cracks of your previous beliefs, especially in case of "feeling unlovable" and "being inherently undesirable", because your sample size is so minuscule when you are stuck with same people, same environment, same mindset, hence it being "closed", because it is not a truly open minded view on life. At least that was the case for me. Stuck in the same city for years, same people, and I thought that was it, I'm inherently unlikable, because that's what you see everyday, that's what you observe and you came to that conclusion. I concluded that it was because I was ugly, because I genuinely am; asymmetric face that is riddled with dermatitis and rosacea, no jawline at all, can't grow facial hair... I can go on for hours. I'm doomed to live this life and I can do nothing about it. But I left my city for uni, I found people who genuinely care for me, people that reach out to me and help me without wanting anything in return. And I didn't even have to improve myself or make myself presentable or anything, I was genuinely in the lowest point of my life but those people still liked me as who I am. I pushed myself to go out rather than sitting on my ass all day and lo and behold, I got my first date in 20ish years of my life! I'm still ugly as hell lol, don't get me wrong on that part, but I've come to realize I'm not bound by it. It doesn't tie me down to any inherent worth, or the lack of it. There are people who will genuinely like you as who you are, and the reason I felt the opposite was, in the most technical speaking, a sampling bias :p
Why not just date ugly girls? Honestly the deeper into late stage feminism we get the more im convinced ugly girls must make significantly better partners than pretty ones. Pretty girls seem like an absolute nightmare to be with.
Looks do matter, obviously. But it’s not the whole story. No need to be so salty. You’re being salty over the wrong thing. Would you marry a 100kg girl with a mole on her cheek who’s a 10/10 in personality? I doubt so.
Looks certainly play a role but it's not the most important. For me, if a girl is like 5/10 on looks, but I vibe with her, and she has a great personality, then I wouldn't hesitate to date her at all
@Mew2Win They probably meant sadness or despair, but not an actual ideology. One thing is to have a good mood, another thing is to recognize that odds are stacked against you and there is nothing you can do to fix rigged situation. Normies have a misconception that blackpill is an ideology based on mood. But actually mood is the result of reality as perceived by ideology.
@Mew2Win I don`t think it is meaningful to convince them of something they oppose. They hush it up on purpose. They disagree because it ruins perception of niceness.
As someone who has also blackpilled himself. Its even more obvious because you experience it with yourself. You live 2 different worlds. Look up cameron herrin bald. Assuming you know who that is, I rest my case
@@BlackpillObeah Whole different world. I always been an introvert. Anxiety seemed to paralyzed me when i would talk to people, my friends always told me "you need confidence bro" (even though they're social normies yet they barely can pull a sub5 girl). After losing weight (i just stayed at home most of the time), i started going to the gym and the first day i was hit on by 2 girls... after the first "romantic" contact with a girl, i just felt that "confidence boost", that a girl obsessing over you gives you... Of course you have "confidence" when most girls turn their heads too see you, they stare at you and blush when you look at them. The moment you look a girl in the eyes and smile and she blushes and can't control her happiness, you know that k*tty is already 90% yours... there are not mixed signals
What is it that men actually want/need from dating and relationships? What is it that is best for lifetime satisfaction? I get the impression that there aren't clearly set plausible goals for what most men require to be happy in dating. Off the top of my head, it seems to me that the following are a realistic set of targets that would mostly satisfy most men: 1) Lost virginity by age 19 2) Have had at least 5 sexual relationships or hook-ups with women they find attractive before age 25 3) Have a longterm relationship with a woman they find attractive, which offers the potential for living together and children if they wish, that lasts at least 10 years Are these reasonable? They seem the minimum requirement for mental health and met needs imho. Following that, who can plausibly attain those goals? It seems evident to me that to get those things, a man would need to meet certain criteria, both in looks and elsewhere. They would realistically have to be 5'7 +, not be obese, have at least a 4/10 face, not be highly neurodivergent nor seriously mentally ill, have reasonable social skills, not be desperate, have a job or be a student, and not be seriously disabled. Am I wrong int hat assessment? It seems self-evident to me that someone who doesn't meet those basics, especially if they fail in multiple areas, doesn't have a realistic chance of achieving those goals (though I admit there will be one or two exceptions).
6:29 "For thousands of years people have been forming relationships without tinder" Yes, and for thousands of years people were moving around on dirt roads using horses. Today, you'll have to go out of your way to find someone riding a horse anywhere. A lot of things that were normal and working in the past, are neither considered normal, nor working today, because something else has almost completely replaced the old. Something else is the new normal, and for some (or A LOT) of people that new normal might not work anymore. In the case of Tinder, most criticism about it is completely justified.
It's a HIGHLY EXAGGERATED and unnatural phenomenon. What exists today is due to a very unhealthy and terminally online society as to which the value and rewards systems of today rewards bad behavior. For most of k select human history it was not this bad
It really isn't Ofcourse one should recognise their limitations but that doesn't mean giving up lmao Giving up seeps through everything else and makes you sound defeated which isn't an attractive trait
this doctor later in his life gets 1 girl and suddenly he is an expert on women and dating? there are 15 yr old guys with more experience than him.........
The video isn't about dating he almost completely avoided that topic. t's about how negative feedback cycles affect your brain and how to break out of them.
I got into the red pill/black pill thing after a breakup with my long term girlfriend (which to this day still affects me). It is usually the manner in which you are hurt that leads you to these communities, and I'd say that their core tenants/beliefs hold merit. However, red pill/black pill should never be used to justify your own flaws or bad attitudes towards others. It's an acknowledgement of the fact that you can be betrayed, abandoned, and hurt if you aren't careful with your life choices.
Yeah and the most unfortunate part is there's a lot of good information mixed in with all the crap. There's science behind things like pair-bonding that I wasn't aware of before some red pill channels led me down that research path. However, the actual community aspect of red/black pill channels are very doomer. I don't think any channels should always be full positive or negative, and it's a red flag how most black pill channels predominantly just feed into negativity.
@@Rhodair I don't know what doomsday channels you watch but wheat waffles is a large part of the black pill community and actively promotes solutions to problems
Even if you are careful w them you can be hurt because not everything is under our control, that's one of the reasons why people tend to fall to this pit because they gave their all and still got hurt so they assume there's no hope when they ignore that in reality, external circumstances play a great part of most of those outcomes.
me, an ex weed dealer with a chiselled jaw and abs going through hundreds of women like a piece of cake, who treated them like shit - looking at men who women should pick, who did great in school, great career prospects, family oriented, healthy childhood, loyal etc and they get 0 bitches. I dont need black pill, cus i do fine and im not in their chambers at all... and I can tell you - they are right for the most part.
It seems to me that saying: "girls only ever want hot rich guys because that's what my findings on Tinder suggested" is very similar to saying: "people only ever want greasy hamburgers and fries because that's what my findings at McDonald's suggested". There's a heavy sampling bias there. Yeah sure, we almost all agree that greasy hamburgers and fries are really pleasureful, but that's no reason to include them in your diet often, if at all.
There's a major flaw in the comparison because hot guys are not bad for women like junk food is for people. I don't think the black pill is selling hopelessness, it is selling truth.
@@ThahnG413 It's not selling truth at all. To simplify it down to a single variable like "genetic looks" is the dumbest oversimplification ever. And you're obviously missing the point of the comparison completely. The point is not to say junk food is good, or hot guys are bad. The point is that extracting all your data from a narrow source such as tinder or mcdonalds, and then draw a conclusion on the entire rest of the world from that narrow data is beyond ridicilous.
@@jarzez Personally I have watched many of Wheat Waffles videos and he touches on more than just tinder data and even reccomends that if you are not extremely good looking to rely on other forms of dating because tinder is extremely looks based, and while real life is looks based you have a better chance in real life due to the other factors at play.
@@ThahnG413 What you said is entirely beside the point. As @Jackbob said, the point is that taking results from experiments with a heavy sampling bias is a reliable way to get the wrong answer. The analogy is meant to illustrate the flaw in relying on such results. If it makes you happy let's reword the analogy to say "[...] people only ever want highly palattable foods". It addresses your comment because "highly palettable" is not thought of as inherently bad, but it's sure as hell more difficult to find foods that are when you've also specified constraints like "high fiber", "high in micronutrients", "low sugars". Similarly, sure "rich" and "hot" aren't inherently bad, but if you also choose to specify "down to earth", "empathetic", "can face tough challenges and survive", or whatever else, it's going to get harder. At the very least it's harder simply because the more specific you are about the kind of person, the less and less of that kind of person exists. But then there's also the argument to be made that those attributes of "rich" and "hot" lending themselves to seeing the world and operating in it in a certain way that doesn't lend itself to other desirable traits.
@@jaysanders1347 yes but not that much like blacks have tyrones Asians have Changs and whites have chads but whites are a bit Chads equal a little up with tyrones
You're making the assumption that the couples with kids are healthy, two-way relationships; not to mention that the child may well be another man's, statistically. And the statistics, being revealing as they are, are still guaranteed to be a minimal reflection of this phenomenon. Men want to be DESIRED, and not just settled for after she has run herself ragged and "turned a new leaf".
What if I get out of the blackpill? I still can't get a women to love me but I'm a little bit more happy? Nah f*ck that, I'll rather face the truth that I'm not enough in this day and age than delude myself.
That thinking is blackpilled. If someone only wants you for your looks then they don't love you, I have the minset that not fitting beauty stardards kinda works to my advantage because I know people like me for me. Work on personal growth and I'm sure you will find good people to surround yourself with (romantically or not)
Than actually accept your belief, stop talking about it, and move on but it seems like you don’t want to improve your mindset, you just want to wallow in misery and grief because you have no higher calling?
The point Dr. k made about group and how it benefits us is so true. I often tell people that this is my favourite TH-cam Chanel and it’s helped me a lot. Which is confusing to some because I’m not an incel or a gamer. I am a fashionista party girl who uses Instagram as my main platform. But I love the way dr. K breaks down things in a systematic way. Most people who talk about emotions or spirituality say it in a feeling way but I need it explained step by step in a cognitive analytical way before I get it. Tldr: I agree, you don’t have to have the same specific problem for this to apply
Ya me too i totally love it I don't use insta but I am quite social love painting and chess, an also I am kind of aiming for psychiatry..not sure it in 5th year of ug but let's see
I’m not black pilled but how one can say looks isn’t a thing in the dating game seem pretty naive. Yes charisma is also a thing, so if you haven’t got looks charisma or money you’re probably screwed.
Just because women chose to have kids with men that aren't in the top 10 percent doesn't mean that they wanted them, at least not initially...they just settled for those men and those men probably settled for those women as well because they cannot get women more attractive then her. People go out to the dating market and try get the best deals they can get. When option 1-8 don't work you go for option 9 because those are your best chances of reproduction\family you have
Men do that too duuh? Like who wouldnt want to be with the most attractive person in the world. But that dosen't invalidate the relationships that are below that.
Sorry but you're wrong. Blackpill is the truth. In modern dating *looks are the number 1 trait which will determine dating success.* Its understandable that you're in denial over blackpill theory because for some it certainly can be demoralizing. Its convenient for people when challenged to label blackpill as some kind of nihilistic, negative, hopeless crab bucket of incels where everyone is miserable. But it isn't. Blackpill is simply acknowledging that looks are most important. That's it. You can be still successful in dating and still be blackpilled because you understand its your physical appearance that did the heavy lifting for you. The countless studies and data prove blackpill correct.
I understand that (and believe if)but honestly judging from this comment section it seems like most of them are nihilistic and hopeless lol. I would say that Dr K isn’t exactly wrong here, but he’s just using black pill to refer to general hopelessness
@@moaPro I feel you. I can totally understand why people would think "It's over" for them and on the flipside why blackpilled people are often perceived as hopeless. And yeah you're right I suppose I jumped the gun because he was specifically referring to hopelessness. There's a difference between say a 6-7/10 face 5'10" white guy who has potential to go from poor results to at the very least getting some women. As compared to say a 3/10 face dark-skinned 5'0" Asian guy... no matter how much plastic surgery, time in the gym or whatever his chances are incredibly slim to none at finding success in the west. Mileage may vary. So Blackpill is the acknowledgement of looks being number 1, *not* giving up. However... there is also the acceptance of there being things we can't change, no matter much we improve certain aspects of ourselves. Blackpill is freeing in that sense; for some it is that hope to find success, for others it's confirmation that it's time to re-evaluate if dating is worth the time and effort. Each to their own.
I disagree. I wouldn't call myself good looking but I had a lot of attention from women. I used to be a black pill for a long time, and the fact that I was getting that much attention would always shock me. So, I think it is not the most important thing. I had an experience with a 10/10, everything was going smoothly in instagram (she saw my face and complimented my looks) but when we actually meet up, it went terrible. There were no vibes, we didn't connect, and I didn't even want to continue with her anymore. What I want to say is, yes, looks do matter, but not as much as your ability to connect with people and create meaningful relationships.
4:24 Classic Dr. K fail. He fails to recognize that mothers and fathers you see outside with kids are not an accurate experiment for data, as they were without social media/tinder and likely had a smaller pool for dating. When you factor in the amount of selection that women have as a result of social media, then yes, only 10% of men are attractive to women. Women will settle for less, especially if they themselves falls short of the mark, but in general, young men who have no material wealth and are not physically fit are invisible. It doesn’t matter their personality or goodness. They will remain alone. All that means is that you have to become physically fit. And if you’re like me, someone undisciplined and unable to become physically fit to be more attractive, then yes, ultimately there is no hope. The only reason not to kill yourself becomes faith in some higher ideal, being good to others, becoming better articulated, and seeking a deeper understanding of metaphysics.
If what youre saying is true, wouldnt the birthrates in western countries DECLINE after the advent of social media and dating apps? If you look at the data the birthrates have been stable for years
@@SammyxSweetheart.02 Dude, first off, birth rate is not perfectly correlated with men and women having monogamous relationships, given men in higher and more desirable positions can have multiple women. Secondly, the birth rate in the west IS declining.
@@ralphwilsin Here's a another solution, DETOX from social media. Take some time off the internet and live your truth. Delete or log of all your accounts on the internet Because 90% of social media just like TV is CAP. Some of info in these cult like spaces on here are to some extent are lies mixed in with true.
@@somedudeontheinterwebs45 21 is very young, a lot changes in life with time, ESPECIALLY but not only if you work at it.. When I was 21 I was unemployed dropout living in my parents basement doing literally nothing but playing World of Warcraft. My entire 20's were a mess. I floundered for well over 10 years -- addiction, drugs, alcoholism, bad influences, etc. But I'm 34 now and all that's gone. Life changed. I got older. Circumstances changed. In the past 5 years I managed to pull myself together a little bit and even at 29 the improvement was well worth the effort. I own a condo, got a good job, got a few promotions, tried to be a little more social, picked up some hobbies. I'm still lonely, but I also still have hope even that can be improved. Life is a long time, and people age differently now. Almost no one is getting married at 23 and popping out 2.5 kids. Life progress has slowed down for a ton of people, don't let yourself believe this is permanent, that's a mistake. "Now always feels like forever, but it never is." -John Green
Blackpill knowledge should be the foundation of your looksmaxxing journey. It can be very positive if you use it to your advantage because you are improving in an area that will definitely bring you results. Looks matter, not just in sex/dating but in all areas of human interaction. It's undeniable.
So, basically i disagree haha, and I'll feel free to share my story real quick. I personally feel very sad whenever someone believes such things. It's cheesy, but true: true beauty lies within, and those who choose to ignore that will live a lonely life. There ARE people (and women, like me) who value a man being a good person etc much more than some stupid body ideal. I've had my very rough spots in life too, and ended up having certain preconceptions. I made terrible experiences especially with boys and men, which lead me to loose hope regarding any interactions with them. However, in hindsight that was very stupid of me. Giving up on a big group of people is quite disrespectful towards all of the people of that group that are trying to be different, even when the mainstream of that group is actually "bad". I met my now-boyfriend over two years ago on an online art community and we hated each other's guts at the start. But we talked a lot and fell in love. At the time i didn't think I'd ever again date a man in my life, but we've been together over 1 year now and I'm convinced he's the love of my life. I fell in love with him over so many things, but certainly not his looks. In fact, i didn't see his face until way after we were both in love already, and i didn't care, it didn't matter, because i knew i had found a gem based on how pure his heart was and all of the beautiful parts of his personality. I'm physically very attracted to him, and tbh most of it just simply comes from the fact that i feel safe with him, that he's a good person etc. It works the exact same way for him too. The relationship really wasn't set out to be easy, we were long-distance, his parents disapproved, he struggles with some mental health stuff he can't get professional help for and i kinda do too. And yet we make it work. It's just so not about looks.
@@moonysteps8064 you just said your physically attracted to him, then said looks don’t matter. If you weren’t physically attracted to him you 100% would not be dating him.
@@fiat_ow7876 i think it's insane that you are so unwilling to rethink your worldview you would say that. Obviously i know better what I'm attracted to than you. You don't know me. I'm telling you, I'm attracted to his personality. I'm not even really solely physically attracted to men at all in the sense that i don't see some man i don't know and think oh wow, he's attractive. I have to know him and his personality at least a bit to start getting attracted to him. Please stop trying to tell me what I'm attracted to. I'm telling you, I'm physically attracted to my boyfriend too ofc, but that stems from him being a good person, he has no muscle or good clothes or what society calls a masculine face or money or whatever people find physically attractive, and he's still the only one for me.
Sorry about the blank space in the middle, go to 54:23 to skip past it!
You can cut that part of the video out in the TH-cam editor (you don’t have to take the video down)
A good reflective space for black pill members
You have no formal education. You are a fraud. You beg people to watch your videos so you can get ad revenue. No one who has ever """untaken""" the blackpill will have their problems solved. Nothing will change.
will do
now this comment looks like a troll comment
"People learn how to fart but they don't learn how to open a window" is the greatest analogy I've heard from Dr. K yet.
"you can always trust that a window will open but you can never trust a fart"
A healthy - To thine own self be true.
I agree - appreciate the unintentional pun also hehe
All the quick witts and analogies aside, one can't untake the blackpill without accepting some amount of delusion again
Well then u show them how to open the window
I've been trying to explain part of this to my friends, not with black pill, just absorbing negative information/news is making them unhappy and its better for them to ignore it or at least consume less of it.
Yup but doesn't change the truths
@@Tailionis True, and if they were doing even a little to try and change those truths for the better I would encourage them, but all they do is be sad, nothing else comes from it. Being informed is good and healthy, being consumed by negativity and only negativity while ignoring the good is neither helpful nor accurate or 'true'.
Looksmax, settle, get extremely lucky, or die alone.
These are your 4 options when it comes to online dating as an average looking guy.
Hypergamy will continue to exist regardless of whether or not you choose to acknowledge it.
Who would have guessed that not listening to propaganda is healthy and commendable?
@@RyanEdwardVetter capitalism just made hypergamy worse.
Those blackpill conclusions are only true for online dating, where you can't see much more than just pictures, so looks mostly matter. I've gone months trying online dating and only ever had 1 match and no date. Whereas when I've attended meetups or approached women in public, I got way more numbers and dates (and even hooked up with a girl one time). Honestly, seeing people go hopeless due to the blackpill is frustrating, and it's mostly because people are relying online dating more and more. Online dating sucks
This right here, how is it such a stretch of the mind to realize that women are people. Just as complex of a life for however many decades, same as anyone else. With terabytes of info in their brains and their own unique life experience, ideas, desires, fears, etm.
@@Hekinsieden online dating kind of objectivizes people, it's like selling a product. When I speak to women in person, I can bond with them like a human being.
Well its the thing, those are still really rough numbers for the real world. Top 20% of males still get basicly all the women, if you are anything less than that we can only find love if you are incredibly lucky and even so they will probably end up cheating or treating you badly becaus they would rather have somone who is better. Im not sure i want to be "settled for" And thats if im lucky. It's hard not to believe the black pill when i freaking live it every day.
@@thesaddestdude3575 just improve your looks as much as possible, and try approaching women/people in public to improve your social skills. I've seen way too many real life exceptions to the blackpill to the point that their conclusions fall flat to me. Wheatwaffles can probably give you good advice for improving, but that's about the extent of his usefulness imo.
The irony is that there's a disproportionate amount of men to women on all the dating apps and it's BECAUSE most women don't like a looks based approach to dating and need more than pictures to feel genuine attraction to men. Women on tinder don't represent the majority of women at all.
I had to delete the dating apps which gave me constant doses of rejection, unsubscribe from negative feedback loops on social media (turning off notifications being an important part of that if you keep the apps), and one day I found the courage to reach out to a therapist. I sold my Series X to afford the visits and the dark clouds in my life started to evaporate a little as the months went by. I got a little more energy. I found a gym with guys that didn't care about my weight or social awkwardness and were more than happy to teach me about fitness when I hadn't worked out in years. I kept showing up even though it was hard. The clouds start to drift further away. 11 months in, I look in the mirror and don't immediately think about despair.
Mental health pros and a support network (like a gym or club) can really change your life guys.
That was a huge step you took, and I know I’m a random stranger on the internet, but I’m super proud of you! I’m so glad it helped you ❤
@@na3rial your reply is appreciated :)
Would go to a gym…if there were any queer and feminine welcoming ones
So happy for you! That’s a huge step ❤
@@Brandanmayhew only if you're tarded and think a few online trends reflect reality. get out the damn house and see for yourself.
That negativity cycle is the main reason I stopped visiting the ADHD subreddit. It was great to know I wasn't alone,but man that sub made me feel even worse after a while,there was just SO MUCH negativity that I ended up feeling depressed for quite a while.
I think it's Reddit thing lol
I think the same for me. But I try to engage with positive stuff there lately
Most of subs of wheat waffle are kids who got no logics it's fictional sh!t in reality it's not what the creator of that channel and the kids think
Same with the aspergers subreddit, it can become a negative circlejerk full of doom and gloom sometimes.
Jix
I would say that number one (after just hearing the initial post): stop looking for friends on tinder. Most people are not on there for friends, so you already have a limited pool, but also women don't often believe when guys say "just looking for friends" because guys often lie about that to get in your pants.
It's so hard to meet people offline, and I get that, but frankly meeting them online is frustrating too
Amen to that. Tinder has a pretty strong reputation for being a hookup platform. You are way more likely to find people who are interested in friendship by joining local clubs.
what a way to twist the narrative to blame the dudes. The reality is girls want hot guys to have sex on tinder and/or validation. Nothing else. If you say you just want to be friends it hurts their ego and they get mad.
@@paulogaspar8295 I'm not trying to twist the narrative. My point is that tinder is a shit place to look for friends because most people on there (including many people--guys and girls--who say they're just there for friends) are there for hookups or dating.
The genders used in my comment reflected the genders in the post
@@paulogaspar8295 Well, that's some mental gymnastics, if I've ever seen some.
I do agree
I think it's much easier to understand the concept of a fart chamber than of an echo chamber, so I'll use it from now on. Thanks for the funny explanation! 😁
Fog chambel!
AKA people that love to smell their own farts 😂😂😂
4:53 thats so true... looking at my social circle.
i work with athletes so i know a lot of "chads" and average people.
most chads dont have kids, because they have soo many opportunities that a lot of them cant handle a serious relationship.
its like they suffer from the "being beautiful curse" or something.
in the other hand, most average guys already have kids when they are 30 or even younger.
i think social media has a huge impact on this. because a chad wants to always be the "high value man" forever. and having kids and a wife, puts you out of the market inmediatly (at least if you are a decent person).
I agree that thinking about negative things makes them depressed/anxious however sometimes your life really does suck.
Your life can objectively suck and you can still find joy in small things.
Sure, but that doesn't do much for romantic relationships. My cousin is disfigured from terrible complications at birth, and he'll never find love because of it. That fucking sucks. He has to live life on extreme hard mode and it's not even due to his own actions, just shit luck. I'm not sure why people struggle to admit that some people are simply born unlucky.
@@omnissiah7247yes, but most people are not born with those same physical disfigurements, and those people should not be the basis the generalization is based on
@@EloWhisperer It was not a generalization, just stating the simple fact that some people are dealt a shit hand. It's not doing anyone any favours to ignore and deny the existence of those people because the thought of them makes you uncomfortable.
@@omnissiah7247 I’ve seen people with severe disabilities and disfigurements find love, get married, have children… It might be statistically harder for him, but definitely not impassible
Ironic how 60% of this video is just staring into the darkness silently.
over for healthygamercels
did it ever begin in the first place?
@@creeperkingdom3190 how can it be over if it never began?
@@creeperkingdom3190 never began
What are these threads lmao.
Super OVA!😂😂😂😂
You just need to take 15 confidences and increase showers.
Wheat waffles does present evidence though. He regularly uses studies in his videos to prove his points. He does not just make up his ideas out of nowhere. I don't agree with everything he is saying but I also don't agree with everything you are saying. You don't just discredit people's points of view.
I noticed you don't actually check the content your subreddit members are mentioning before talking about it. I don't think it's right to judge the content you haven't yet seen.
He can’t admit the blackpill is correct, because therapy teaches people cope and gives false hope. He would lose his profession that way
His video isn’t serving to refute wheatwaffles or whatever. I agree with you, many channels have evidence, but I don’t think the point of his channel is to do that; it’s to respond to an overarching zeitgeist by giving advice and perspective. Wheatwaffles May have valid points, but Dr. K seems to rather address the ideas of dating
There are a lot of evidences that earth is flat. And what? You don’t understand Dr.K point of view. It’s not about some channels. It’s about psychology of traumatic experience and echo-chambers. Which don’t allow you see the world.
@@avztralopitec lol no there’s not evidence for that. I think is useless to try a psychological approach to disprove an evolutionary phenomena.
Flat-earthers also present "evidence" for their beliefs. Does that mean the earth is flat??
The black pill when it comes to *All* aspects of life is slowly growing
💯
There are so many aspects blackpill concerns, but normies only focus on the ones they feel are the weakest. They'll never dare touch on the importance of looks in careers.
@@j.d.s.1837 very true, the last job I got was only due to the fact that one of the females colleagues found me attractive.
@@j.d.s.1837 I didn't mean the looks blackpill, but like the existential blackpill, the economic, and reality blackpill
@@TricksterLawlet Is economic blackpill that poors can't get decent money? And what is existential and reality blackpill?
@@circleinfo probably something like anti-natalism, nihilism, „life is suffering“, „there is no (deeper) meaning to life“ etc.
AFAIK blackpills don't exactly think that only handsome guys get dates. They think women in their prime years can afford to be much more picky that rationally justified.
After that, men's chances go up (but can end up as a provider in an unhappy relationship).
The other part of this belief (ugly=creepy, handsome=flirty) is kind of justified. There are plenty of studies that people are biased towards a good-looking person.
cancer survival is a perfect analogy , i also nearly died, and once did die for 2 minutes, and was revived and ....the survival years that follow are strong, as you said resiliant, etc, great show HG !!!!!!!!!!! however , later on my wife and son died in the Thai Tsunami , and that has been harder to bounce back from .
RIP to your wife and son 🕊
Be strong brother, I can’t imagine your feelings but the universe knows you can handle it. I wish you peace and happiness❣️
I’m so sorry for your loss. That is hard to come back from.
That's a wild comment bro. Keep on keeping on.
Wow man, sounds like you’ve had it rough. Huge respect for soldiering through all of that, I could never
4:30 I think this argument falls apart, because the statement is about current situation, not what was happening 40 or even 20 years ago.
There was no internet like we know it today. No dating sites. Most of the people met each other in close geographical proximity and in real life. Now it is completely different. Women have access to literally UNLIMITED pool of dudes. No wonder they will not settle for an average guy, especially socially awkward and not good looking. And no wonder that sometimes wiring inside brains of both genders is fried and no longer works properly.
Also data from tinder and other dating apps is showing that this statistic in true. Maybe not exactly 10%, I don't remember how much exactly, but tendency is there and it is clearly visible.
Also "just go outside and see who has kids", and second later he demolishes his argument of going outside, because it is not real experiment. Real statistics show, that men on average are in celibate much more often than women. Are much more lonely. And again - that women are picking only top percent of the guys. This is what data is showing.
And even then, he doesn't think women settled down before too. It never begun
By 15 minutes in, I cannot possibly express how grateful I am that I turned to physical fitness to be my outlet for negative emotions.
:(
@@Verrisin why are you sad?
@@Moose92411 I did not turn physical fitness into an outlet for negative emotions. I just sit at my PC all day, not going outside, and when I try to exercise, it usually makes me feel awful, and I never want to do it again.
- I'm not obese, but I sure am not fit, and lots oh health issues. Not too serious yet, but I can see the trajectory... I am also tired all the time, and have no willpower to improve anything.
- and I have no idea what my outlet for negative emotions is, if I have any. I just focus on either intellectual stuff, or "fun" stuff, that is sufficiently attention capturing for me to ignore the awful reality around. (which, relative to others is probably not even that bad, but my brain interprets it as not worth living in)
@@Verrisin have you started really small? If you did ten pushups a day, or walked one mile a day, for a week, then moving to 11 or 1.25 miles, and holding yourself accountable along the way?
@@Moose92411 I don't like going outside, but I did daily exercises, for about 5 days. Then I got sick, so I stopped, and did not restart for a long time. - I tried a few times after, sometimes even smaller stuff than what you wrote... I just always gave up after 1-5 days.
- It's what I said about willpower: Now and then I feel like I can do it ... but most days I dread getting up to go pee. 😕
- I definitely don't think I've ever managed to hold myself accountable. Giving up is easier. (I don't believe I will be successful anyway.)
handsome guys have 2 advantages how handsome they are helps a lot but mostly being handsome makes them more likeable to be confident in themselves, and thats a a major part
@@Couscous77 im only saying that ugly people tend to be less confident when talking to girls due to their look is kinda an insecuritie in a lot of cases, im not saying that its the best confidence
@@Couscous77 nope, being good looking is important for your confidence since you receive nothing but positive reinforcement, which makes you feel belong.
4:30 looking at older generations doesnt help. Men had it easier back then and women now awadays are settling and feel annoyed at it with average guys. 1/3 of all men today are virgins what does that tell you?
@@Tocinos the internet and videos have facts you can verify whether you and I like it or not.
My boyfriend and i did meet over the internet, but we didn't even see each other's face for the first year or so because it really didn't matter whatsoever :) we fell in love over each other's personalities, our connection etc., which (btw) is how true love, opposed to a stupid superficial crush, actually works.
We saw each other's faces for the first time probably half a year after we started falling in love with each other. We met on an art/anime community online and talked about politics, anime etc.
Looks don't matter to everyone. I'm 20, he's 18. So... "Young people" (and what's frankly very disrespectful and hurtful, "women") aren't like that, you just choose to believe that. Probably because you got hurt and find it easier to give into being hopeless, which is your choice. It's a real waste, but it's your choice.
What's not fair though is going around and spreading lies about this stuff, because that affects other people negatively, like for example me. It's insulting. I'm not that simple-minded. And you're spreading these lies about me, about many other people who try being good people, good gf's/bfs etc.
@@Tocinos you're using the internet too chief.
1/3 of men aren't virgins, a single study found 1/3 of men under 30 didn't have sex for a year big difference
I'm done with life in general.. this shit is tiring.
real. All I do is play cod all day, idgaf about my life anymore lmaoo
@@NBackTA I feel ya. I stay so blazed that everything is cool. I've made peace with my situation.
@@NBackTAI don't have a desire to play videogames anymore
@@mihanich Same. But nothing seems fun anymore in general.
Society and its members are adapting _around_ the internet. We're finding what's great online (shopping) and what when put online works worse (dating).
Yes, exactly! Dating sites is like window shopping. We're just looking and trying stuff to see what works and what needs improvement. Real relationships is like investing in a portfolio and you can't do that easily online when it comes to a person because you miss out on so much. To go back to the smells analogy, a shampoo might look nice online but until you are in contact, it may not smell so nice. Smell, taste, feel, touch and hear. We experience someone as well as our reality with all of our available senses.
Online dating is the new norm. Back in highschool *ALL* girls in my graduation class had Tinder and were swiping left on 99% of guys. Most had 20 year old 6'7 Gigachad mogger boyfriends. Saying blackpill is wrong is literally lying.
@@j.d.s.1837 Yes of course,the online dating is the new norm of sexual mating,only blue pillers are desilusional to tell the opposite.
@@j.d.s.1837 explain to me how ALL girls manage to end up with the 0.5% of guys that are 6'7? just because youre a loser doesn't mean you have to drag everyone down with you, most people find a partner, go touch some grass
@@j.d.s.1837 what i don't get about black pill is, even if it's not wrong, why give a crap? Like, do you really need to be in a relationship/laid to live a fulfilling life?
Black pill term is cringe but the idea is truth. Looks are in fact mostly genetics. And they are the most important thing in dating, it’s not everything but it’s the most important thing. These are facts
Women don't care about looks as much as men do. If a guy is a pleasant person to be around he is more than likely to be successful in dating as long as he puts in proper effort.
@Spots Corner bullshit
@@spotscorner6040 "You'd be an Incel if you weren't hot " most out of pocket blackpill thing I have ever heard lmao. You know for sure you are attractive after that.
Jay A Black Pill A Day Keeps Delusions Away.
@@1ledluverjlp A Black Pill A Day Keeps Delusions Away.
You said "...go to a park [or a grocery store where people have kids and observe how attractive are the parents because if women are only willing to date the top 10% of guys what you should find is every [woman] should have a [man] who's in the top 10% looks wise." The point you are trying to make is a flawed one. Women aren't getting wifed up by the top 10% of guys they are only sleeping with them. The rest are summarily ignored until women enter the epiphany phase in their 30s and all of sudden want to "Settle" for less value men. Furthermore this phenomenon of women being extremely choosy has really only been going on for the last 5 maybe 10 years at most since the advent of online dating has exploded. Online dating has made it possible for women to get way way way more attention from guys than they normally would and inflates egos beyond healthy levels so women think they deserve that top tier guy. I know this is a year old podcast and you are usually very well versed with your topics but you need to do some more research on this one good sir.
It's not just physical appearance that makes a guy attractive to a woman. There's a whole lot of other stuff that's going on. It has to be genuine, but confidence, self-esteem, positive energy and a casual, relaxed attitude can all be very attractive.
@@Jen.K 🤣🤣🤣 all of that = being attractive.
If you are unattractive everything will be used against you.
Is there a name for this concept? AFBB? Fuck, I don't want to be settled for. I really hate this line of thinking because I know it'll be me in 10 years.
And yeah older guys like dr k that have been out of the dating pool for 5 or 10 years really cannot speak on current dating culture. Same with boomers saying "just go talk to her champ" they're just too out of touch.
@@bro918Having self respect and not falling into seducing female that is now desparate as you is the answer
@@Jen.K All the other qualities can be linked to the looks aswell. An attractive man will be confident or have self esteem while an unattractive one will be perceived as arrogant or cocky. Casual and relaxed will be perceived as boring etc.
I wish it was that easy, I don't use incelforums for months but still cannot escape The Blackpill in real life.
You cannot escape the blackpill if you are ugly, short or mentally my friend. I am a combination of all three, hopefully you are not.
@Richaroo that's not escaping the blackpill but solid advice nevertheless
@Richaroo There's definitely a degree of truth to the black pill, but saying getting a job is completely dependent on your attractiveness is a ridiculously massive overstatement. With the right skills, you can do contract work from your chair, online, without having your face published. And irl, minimum wage jobs don't give a crap how you look. They'll take just about anyone. Especially with the labor shortage. And for a final counterexample: Asmongold. He goes weeks at a time without showering and has a room littered with trash and is a huge twitch streamer.
@Richaroo nothing can you make you taller or attractive, no matter how much you lift. Self improvement is important, but it isn't gonna save you. To me, the only thing I'm aiming for is money, it's the best cope I have. I just want to live financially stable.
@Richaroo GYM six times? Bruh…
I wish i took the blackpill sooner. I wasted so many years listening to blupill crap like this, but the blackpill always comes to collect
always collects.
you can run away from the blackpill but the blackpill will find where you live.
@@--Traveler-- U guys are hilarious😂
@@--Traveler-- Dont be free agent in life. Let the blackpill guide you
The farting in the room analogy is a perfect example of AA vs evidence based treatments for substance abuse.
Not to mention AA and other 12-Steps are quite literally a cult/recruitment arm FOR cults, so..
its funny because the more evidence you get the more sense black pill makes
Jakejason is an incel
@@PartnershipsForYou ???
@@jakejason4333 evidence +based treatments. It is a specific form of therapies, and not what you think I meant but something you would no doubtedly benefit from.
I'm unable to get a date, even with someone who is significantly heavier than me. My anxiety level is irrelevant to the fact that women won't date me due to my physical appearance. I'm 5'9" and have been going to the gym 5-6 times a week for 2 years. There is no gym for my face. Leading with my job title and income is just a recipe for someone to use me for my money. I rarely even come across single women outside of work and the gym, two places that I've been told my advances are unwelcome.
For context: I interact with the public at my job and have no one interested in me. I've tried dating apps, have swiped nearly 100,000 times on Tinder and have no one interested in me. Nothing he said in the video refutes my experience.
Brutal man, friend group maxxing is the only way for you cause looks matter less there. Don’t even bother with tinder if it’s going that badly
Dude ive been single 5 years went through some heavy stuff that burried me, my child got injured im a single dad so had to. It wiped my great paying job and all my money and i was doing good before lived good had plenty of savings. Anyways the event rocked me im unemployed broke and ive just felt like a loser lately, i do zilch except raise my kid. Dont see friends for 2-3 years only people ive talked to were 6 year olds the past couple years for real. my heads been down all the time in a dark place. couldnt think of dating or being wanted in this state, i wasnt even looking i have no value right now.
Then out front doing whatever the neighbour girl walks up and introduce herself, shes been my neighbour for 2-3 years, lol. Our doors are ten feet apart.not once have i ever looked at her at all. She has even said hi before my head down im like ya whatever hi back, dont even look. So she introduce herself again kinda went out of her way, i was stunned shes hot, i didnt even tell her my name back, lol. I blew it whatever. so our kids play once and she gives her number. Blow the texts too is she flirting nah dont believe it, i lightly try to flirt back a bit, text back a bit to long, damn blew that too. Shes throwing signals its over my head im oblivious to it nah shes just being nice, im a loser right now im unemployed broke damn. But then i start crushing on her a bit beating myself up nightly like heartache for a girl i dont even know really. I dont even leave my house, how this neighbour find me this is all in my head. Were both shy its painful but damn i kinda think she throwing it out there and pretty much asked me out for dinner. and I still blew that somehow. every text im like oh god i blew it again, say too much, overly nice, its amazing how badly i did and still am doing.
Well heres it is. we got a date lined up, we seem to really like each other. But im being real with myself and it will probably go no where and ill be crushed after. Anyways the moral and point of the story is, it always comes when you LEAST expect it. And eventually a tiny bit of light comes that can bring you out of the darkness.
I'm sorry man. Yeah, dating is absolutely brutal for men:
- 60% of young men are single
- women only go for the top 5% on tinder
- women rate 80% of men as "below average"
That's what the research says, as much as people don't want to hear these things.
I think most of the anti-black-pill messaging comes from:
- people just emotionally not liking it
- those people who are in a happy relationship living in such a completely different world that they can't wrap their heard around the perspective of a man who genuinely can't find a date. If I was the type of man who relatively easily found a girlfriend and now I'm happily married, then yeah I'd also be inclined to think "just clean yourself up a bit and go date."
- and the belief that "black pill is harmful, telling men to improve and go date is helpful" but... is it? Obviously in some cases yes, in some cases no because it's just more societal gaslighting. I'm getting a bit sick of this attitude of "we can't tell the dumb masses the facts, instead we must tell them what motivates them to keep running in their hamster wheel, and what stops them from forming so-called bad opinions."
Honestly, I think the black pill position is a bit like the "working hard isn't worth it under late-stage capitalism" crowd. In both cases there are people who want to tell them "just work harder and you'll succeed", and certainly individuals can succeed just by working harder... however most won't. That's just the cold statistics. Most people don't fall outside the norm, by definition.
for an increasing amount of us it is truly over but these copers and gaslighters will never admit that
dating apps won't work for you if you're below 6ft. also depending on your ethnicity you will not have success if you're not white or black
You can only ignore reality for so long. In the end, the blackpill always comes to collect.
nah dude hope you get a better view in life if black pill doesn't make you enjoy living
@@noramos4848 denial is the first stage to acceptance
🤓🤓🤓🤓
Explain how giving up hope in yourself helps you.
@twelvecatsinatrenchcoat It's not giving up hope in yourself, its accepting your circumstances in life and not allowing your unmet desires to conquer your sanity. You are okay whether you get something you want or not because you have in-built stoicism and self sufficiency
Really interesting video! I actually had a similar experience to what was explained here since the pandemic started, albeit not with black-pill communities. I got a bad case of infectious mononucleosis/EBV in July 2020 that has since gone chronic and, up until April or so of this year was constantly reading chronic fatigue horror stories/reddit posts, as well as lurking and trying to be supportive within the CFS/CEBV community. Finally, I stopped following those communities on reddit (I moved them to a private feed that I check once a month for any clinical progress on treating them) and, at around that time, noticed my fatigue start to get a little more manageable and that I was no longer quite as depressed about still being chronically ill. In essence, cutting those inputs off from my day to day life made it easier to see myself as *more* than being chronically ill.
How long were you sick with Mono?
@@plesiosaurmilk Still sick with Chronic Ebstein Barr Virus (the virus that causes mono). Basically, I get what feels like a flu (but is mono) every month for about a weekend or so and am constantly feeling like I'm about to get sick/have recently been sick. As for my first bout of it, I think I was sick with full bed-ridden symptoms for about 2 months
I'm glad you made a post - I relate to you a bit as I recently had lung surgery due to a recurring collapsed lung and there's a chance this nasty disease will continue to be a problem in the future leading to more scary moments. I'm trying to come to a point where I can only do so much research and safe precautions (often too safe for the average person I think) without sacrificing the quality of life or life that I'm trying to protect. Maybe my ability to work and live without anxiety day-to-day outweighs some of that but it's hard to do esp. with COVID and being in a time where the only certain thing is more uncertainty
Dude, just stop coping and accept the reality :D
Blackpill is the truth. After learning that, what you do with your life is entirely on you. Don't blame the blackpill.
true, people are disguising themselves in all sorts of matters. you decide to take the black pill. and even for that it takes work. it’s no easy that’s why it’s called the black pill because it’s bitter, i drink black coffe all the time ^^!
@@rippedchandler3976bold of you to assume you have the ability to know what the "truth" is. None of us do man. Religion tries, Sciences maybe, Socio-economic theory? Probably not. We're so far from knowing wtf is the truth that we might as well make our own reality lmao.
@ you just gotta accept the truth as how it is, and live your life as how it is. all these content creators will give you ideas of religion, buddhism, etc, you name it. but it all comes to your own ideologies and living life being your own true self. all of this it’s said by a true Samaritan
@@minimumapature3361 blackpill is the truth, its just nature. but cope more
@@rippedchandler3976 You don't really know shit about the truth. It's just your confirmation bias kicking in. Try touching some grass, taking a shower and actually making an effort to be happy so that your life isn't as miserable as you portray to be 😂
I want to unalive myself if i get the opportunity to do so, but circumstances and the fact that it will ruin my parents emotionally and financially held me back whenever I want to do so. I hate myself
I am in the same boat as you. I have something to lose and I'm not selfish enough to do it. But as soon as i have nothing to lose, I'll break free
Don’t do it brother. There is always something worth living for
@@chinfungcheung3116 DONT DO IT MATE YOULL POWER THROUGH IT AND REMEMBER YOUR NOT ALONE STAY STRONG
I think you are quite nice dude, but many people who are in the blackpill once believed that they could improve themselves only to be crushed by reality, very likely multiple times, how can you convince them that what they lived wasn't real?
truth ^ most blackpillers went thru the redpill phase who ru to tell others what theyve been thru
Exactly
He can't, and nobody can. All they can do from that point is lie gaslight us.
@@saltator8565 I’m sorry, but what make you any different than anyone else who has been rejected and had to dust themselves off and keep trying (I.e. literally everyone)
Why is your outrage about how YOU feel physically judged so justified when so many of you live on forums that talk sht about ugly women?
I’m going to give you a piece of advice that Dr K is far too nice to give - your looks aren’t the problem, your ugly attitude is. No woman is going to put up with a guy who behaves like an emotionally underdeveloped, entitled sex pest who is obsessed with nothing but looks and has nothing but complaining to offer.
You aren’t a victim, you’re no different than anyone else.
@@BoringTroublemaker
Certified Teeheee momento
It’s hilarious to see how big Wheat Waffles has gotten to where I keep seeing large channels make videos about him. I found him when he had like 5 videos with 1000 views. His collabs with Alexander Grace and FACEandLMS really helped and from there he kept exploding
yeah but what does he have to do with the blackpill? WW is a redpill coper lol
@@SB-nh7uv If you define black pill as a strict ideology then yes he is not black pilled. I am not either but I subscribe to many beliefs that are black pilled to most people. I get downvoted on Reddit no matter how logical and balanced I present the views bc most of society is profoundly delusional when it comes to why certain men get certain women. I had a guy literally tell me women get sexually aroused by money, these guys are living in fantasy land. A rich lesbian could pay a straight woman to be with her, doesn’t mean she’s attracted. Even Wheat I would argue is wrong about Tinder. Once you understand how Tinder works in that the reason most guys get few likes is just bc women aren’t seeing their profile+bad photos there’s no reason to think someone who didn’t give you the right swipe on Tinder is gonna say yes in person 99.99% of the time. There’s variation in the beliefs we hold about this stuff but we all share the impact of looks, predetermined limitations, and how hard it really is for most men to be successful with women. Which most of society doesn’t understand. They think an average guy who does x y and z could rack up a high body count if he wanted when in reality he’s lucky to reach 5 looksmatched women let alone above
Qoves Studio is the biggest blackpill channel
The truth always comes to light. This was inevitable
Dude is BANKING
You skipped over how much the dating scene has changed, parents grew up in a different world with no tinder insta etc
Indeed. I firmly believe that no one understands average young men, because they're the only ones who are having to struggle with dating women who grew up with social media and Tinder.
@@lightworker2956 Eh, I'm an average young man. I don't really "struggle" with dating. The key is to just avoid Tinder and other dating apps. I barely get any matches on there, yet I regularly find opportunities to date women. Out of the many issues in the world, this is an easily solvable problem. Just get off the fucking apps and meet people in real life. Most people are cool and are not out to get you.
not everybody uses tinder. those who uses tinder you would never met in pre tinder days anyway
@@ruslankoller9891 most women do or have used tinder and know about pandoras box. every woman these days knows they have unlimited access to hundreds of men they can choose from. even women who dont seek the apps know it and it will influence them psychologically. the modern woman will never be satisfied with you if you got any big flaws in the areas of height, face, race, frame, status, money and so on. the modern woman knows she can branch out whenever she wants
@@ruslankoller9891 women always practiced eugenics in dating, the only problem is that before they couldnt do it since they needed a man for money
Blackpill advice has literally brought more peace and excitement into my life. I don't feel frustrated by the bs that blue pilled people have fed me all my life...
Bro, the internet =/= real life
Blue/Red/Black pills are the stupidest things ever, real life is way more complex than what a "Sigma male" on 4chan with no life experiences say
The truth can destroy some people
@@ponternal A Black Pill A Day Keeps Delusions Away.
@@AbuBased731 A Black Pill A Day Keeps Delusions Away.
Keep telling yourself that
Black pill is not prescriptive, it is descriptive. It offers realistic view of dating market and dynamics. What you do with that is up to you, but since the reality is so harsh and so different from the blue pilled view of romantic relationships we are taught as kids, most people can’t face it and need a cope. Notice how every criticism of black pill is about “negativity”, which is basically people projecting their reaction were they to accept the truth of the black pill. It’s not a criticism of the truth of the matter. I’d argue the opposite - after the initial shock the black pill is freeing. You realize IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Some things are out of your control. You become stoic.
Took the words right from my keyboard.
but less attractive people really do have children, and can end up in happy marriages...
@@fireflyredux3373 black pill arguments aren't entirely false, but if you fixate on them, they become your entire narrative and it doesn't leave you with motivation to try and go beyond them...
@@oroderes If you consider black pill arguments to be false its because you have someone trying to sell you his online course on how to be a sigma male. All the black pill ever did was describe- accurately mind you- plainly and exactly how short-term relationships are becoming far more the norm than long term relationships and how that effects the male attractiveness bell curve.
What you do with that information (Your actions + "motivation" as you put it) is entirely up to you and not the purview of the black pill. Which is exactly what OP said. It's giving you the cold hard truth of the matter, nothing more, nothing less.
If you can't figure out what "descriptive" vs "prescriptive" is, that's on you. If you think you can outperform the black pill with self-help books and cardio your sadly mistaken and will probably spend the rest of your life labeled as a "creep" by women. (That's for 3's and below on the female Short Term dating market, aka 85-92% of all sexual relationships atp)
And to answer your question, yes, ugly people date ugly people and get married. Talk to any ugly guy whos currently or used to put himself out there (I was one till I got mass and cleared my acne, look at that, a direct source!) and he'll tell you that not even the ugly women wanted him. His DM's weren't dull, they we're nonexistent.
@@oroderes Oofy doofy does exist...
I think the biggest struggle for some, in order to "stop believing in [insert color pill here]", is that some of what these people are saying is true. Yes, physical attraction is an important component in someone's desire to be with another. Yes, attraction has a lot to do with shallow/arbitrary characteristics that have nothing to do with if you're a "good person", or anything else you would think or hope makes you desirable to another. It's what can make dating so frustrating and hard. Where black/redpill types go wrong is getting hung up on these things and thinking they are all that matter, but I think it's easy to see why. When I talk to women or people in general, I feel sort of disillusioned about the whole thing because I see some of this stuff too. I don't know of any woman who's ever been attracted to me, for example, that didn't mention my looks at least once, so it's hard not to feel like it matters so much, even if it's not all they care about.
Looking good is hard and takes hard work. That makes it a GOOD measure of romantic suitability. Why would this be a depressing idea? Yes there's some people that get a head start. But once you're in your 30s, or even late 20s, there's no way to keep it up without massive amount of work, discipline, and asthetic talent.
Attractiveness is not just a shallow measure of a person. It correlates (not perfectly) with long-term mindset.
You might be beautiful on the inside. If you are, show it. Find clothing that looks good on you. Experiment with cheap jewlery/accessories. Take care of your health, by eating well and caring about yourself. Demonstrate the ability to love yourself by showering regularly, wearing deoderant, and brushing your teeth. Give your body the exercise it needs to live a long life. Live optimistically about the future and your presence in it, and these behaviors will come easily, without effort.
If you do those things, you'll be attractive. It's that simple. It might take time to dig out of the hole, but its simply a question of persistence. There is nothing stopping pretty much anyone from doing these things. (The best part? Do these things and you'll be living a great life, maybe to the point where being single will stop being such a burden)
If you can't do these things, it says a LOT about what is going on inside you. And honestly, why shouldn't people use physical appearance then as a shortcut measure of romantic suitability?
@@anthonyskrzypczak9437 This is so facts, couldn't have said it better. If someone can't at least portray themselves in a confident and attractive way, I think it says a lot about their romantic suitability. Not everything, but when relationships require time, effort, and emotional investment, of course people will weigh their options with extreme scrutiny. I find that people that consider attractiveness to be a shallow measure, are typically unhappy with themselves.
@@anthonyskrzypczak9437 um non of this is going to make you taller or change your facial structure the most important looks factors can bearly be changed no matter how much effort you put in minus surgery which had tge possibilities of making things worse
@@anthonyskrzypczak9437 "looking good is hard"? Looking good is mostly genetics and not being fat.
@@PrincessMeganLeigh statistically speaking physical attraction is the biggest determinor or relationship access and success.
look up the study "stated preferences vs what actually lead to relationships in speed dating trials"
ot show that while ladies say they care about intelligence and personality those things did not actually predict dating success looks did about the same amount for both men and ladies.
so in other words it's not that men cant conceptualize attraction that isn't physically its that men are honest.
"Go out looking for parents. If women are only willing to date the top 10% you should only see good looking guys married." This argument falls apart when you consider women who want to date and want to have sex with one type of man, but settle down and have a family with another type of man. I never got a date in my life, and I've been married for 13 years (together for 21) with my first and only girlfriend, while I'm her 14th or 15th partner. A woman like my wife would never in her worse nightmares would have dated a guy like me when we were both in our late teens or early 20s.
15th? Wtf...
@@untilm at 25-30 years old having 15 partners is not even that many. i'm a 24 year old male and have had over 10 long/short term partners, some serious others not so much. i'd be more wary of someone who's had 3 long term (+2 year) relationships fail than someone who has had casual hook ups and summer flings etc.
Long term relationships are kept alive by personality and the ability to co operate and communicate with your partner.
@@Modi_ Studies show marriage success is inversely proportional to the number of past partners a person has had, I think including hookups.
I think I'd rather date someone who has had 3 long-term failed relationships than someone who has had many hookups.
@@untilm its becoming more and more normal for people to hook up at early adulthood for millenials/zoomers. older studies into infidelity in marriage most likely overlook the fact that sleeping around with a lot of different partners wasn't that socially accepted or normal in the 70's/80's like it is now.
i get where you're coming from tho, my gf of 3 years has had close to 15 partners and only a single over a year long relationship before we started dating.
@@Modi_ That's fucked, so really any special moment you share isn't really yours, someone else had it too?
The park is not evidence. That's survival bias.
You don't know how many people are lonely and therefore are not in the park. You don't know how many of those will be divorces, you don't know how many of those couples are faithful.
true
you're moving the goalposts
@@stickmouse5002 How so. Park is a bad sample size. Looking at the park is not scientific.
And, when I look at parks, I see obese women with decent men.
@@AkiRa22084 there is no missing data in the park example. there are handsome and ugly men with handsome and ugly women. it doesn't matter who's lonely and who's divorced because the whole point of the black pill is that your success in dating is entirely dependent on your looks. Also you're just seeing what you want to see when you go to the park
@@stickmouse5002 Then it's not a study of any use. You can easily say that any exceptions you see prove the rule. BP is talking about trends anyway, they don't say it's impossible. Small sample size is useless in this discussion.
"you're just seeing what you want to see" - But we can say the same thing for HG, too. How do you not realize this?
i'm not into any of these pill bullshits but in this 24 years of my life i learned that (don't get me wrong i'm not a some depressif doomer or smt, i have a beautiful life and i'm very happy about it) LOOKS IS EVERYTHING, not everything but everything... Sad truth.
I'm not saying it should be or must be but most of the people thinks that way so that's a fact, there is nothing to do about it.
You cannot "un - take" human nature.
@@j.d.s.8132 You can choose to simply not believe it and stick yer head in the sand while coping :D very common, yet barely effective lel
Blackpill is the ultimate truth, Looks are everything , literally.
@VAMPIREBoyTHEBloodyMinecraftguess I've never lived in a body of truly ugly person, that's fate worse than death
@ReadmyBioo Clueless. Looks are everything and this brown doctor is just a grifter who helps no one. The blackpill isn't a negative thing, it's just reality and it's better to stop gaslighting ugly and short men.
You don't need money? Power?
Looks can only get you girls. Money and power will make the whole world bow down to you.
I never went blackpilled, but God damn the algorithm is trying to make me, holy shit.
The amount of MGTOW, Red Pill and bullshit that randomly gets recommended to me lately is insane. I've definitely seen an increase with figures like Andrew Tate popping more and more. So fucking annoying
Delete your watch history and search history on TH-cam/Google and you may not see those types of videos anymore.
You can say "don't recommend this chanel" in the three dots next to the recommendation
The algorithm shows you what it thinks you want to see lol. Something you not telling us OP? 😂
@@HideorEscape Oh I know. But tbf, it's also a little bit my fault. From time to time, I can't help to click on them.
It's like watching a trainwreck. I mean, have you seen those Andrew Tate videos? It's like scientist found a way to time warp a troglodyte neandertal to our modern age and gave him a YT crash course.
The thing is, you click on one and clearly the algo knows this stuff is addicting because it immediately pushes like 5 other video. It's like a plague
@@TheWaross When I want to watch shit like that I open the link in an incognito tab so it does not gets registered by the algorithm lol
The issue is the blackpill theory has a counterpoint to your point of "just look outside at people who have parents it's not objectively true that the husbands are all chads." Blackpill says women have fun in their 20s and later settle down with a guy who has money who looks average or below average. Because he is a provider. Also he claims that everyone following wheat waffles already agrees with him and that you're entering an echo chamber. Wheat waffles started with no community and built his community because people were intrigued with what he had to say. The same could be said about your channel. Your theories and ideas about psychology are why people follow you. And you could classify your community as an "echo chamber" as well of people who subscribe to your ideas and advice for their life.
"Blackpill says women have fun in their 20s and later settle down with a guy who has money who looks average or below average"
This has too many variable to be a factual statement.
Generally, looks and financial wealth are factors in being successful at finding a relationship, but they're not set the de facto standard, even for women that have historically dated attractive men/rich men. In some cases, they can either be of miniscule importance or not important at all.
"Also he claims that everyone following wheat waffles already agrees with him and that you're entering an echo chamber"
"The same could be said about your channel"
This is not a statement dr. k would disagree with. You seem to either have not paid attention to the video, or cut it off before watching the whole thing, but his channel and blackpill communities all share one thing in common, and that's they're a place to vent and be validated by other ppl's ventings. He says that about his channel himself. The only difference is that for his channel, there is more to it than just venting, because if all you do is vent, all you do is get stuck with negative thoughts only that further take you down a hole.
@@MetalGearSEAL4 Ask women. A lot of them don't plan on marrying before 30. What do you think they'll do in their time that they're not married?
@@zwiebelface185
That's not the part that I'm attacking. I'm attacking everything else.
@@MetalGearSEAL4 you don’t have anything left to attack my guy
@@harsh3948
You're acting like someone came in and rebutted all my points when they didn't.
One guy came in and talked about the age women marry and that wasn't even something I mentioned.
I probably held the incel blackpill in my hands for an entire year or two, before ultimately discarding it. Looking back, it's kind of funny, since I spent a lot of effort to see if there was any way out. I think the reasons why I didn't consume it ultimately ended up being three things.
1. I didn't have enough anger and tendency to blame my problems on people (maybe that's self-blame, self-responsibility, or just passiveness)
2. I was kind of leaning more towards FA (forever alone) and discovered a TH-camr name Monday Blue Monday or something like that, who was also exploring his current state of singleness. He was incredibly thoughtful and meticulous. In case you're wondering, he got a GF through TH-cam and disappeared when the incel-sphere turned on him.
3. I'm very cautious of groups that agree with each other too much (comes from my pride as a loner, that's a work in progress)
Honestly, those years of my life were a desperate struggle. It felt like I was in a cave digging a tiny tunnel with my hands while some much larger monster was clawing away at the other end. I was clawing for an escape. Looking back, I was trying to find any reason to disprove it, because it felt like commiting to the blackpill would mean accepting that there was no hope.
I didn't want to believe that the world was full of selfish people who literally only used physical attractiveness and money to determine who to be partners with. Believing in things like looksmaxing, copium, monkeybranching are really enough to make anyone lose hope and become bitter, resentful people. Believing that everyone secretly shoots for the top 10% in attractiveness, despite being in a committed relationship is enough to make anyone give up on a relationship without even trying to get one.
I don't really know what changed me. It wasn't an overnight process for sure. I spent most of 2018 and 2019 thinking about these things and trying to extract the true bits. I read psychology literature and really tried to analyze my way out.
However, one of the things that really helped me was to look at real people. Don't just look at them on the surface level. Like actually examine them for every fiber of their being. Look at normal people and not just the cherrypicked horror stories you find online. A lot of my fear and ignorance came from the fact that I was afraid of people being shitty shallow idiots, while not actually looking to see if they were like that. Maybe I lucked out, because my social group during the pandemic was a bunch of volunteers who were honestly great people. To be honest though, they're great people in spite of their flaws.
I don't really think I can give any solid advice for others struggling in this way without coming off as a trite bastard.
You kinda have to commit to this process for a solid amount of time and learn. Learn about yourself, learn your tendencies, and learn about others and maybe then you'll be able to see something that's more than the blackpill.
There is more to life than just looks, money, social status, etc. That's the core of the blackpill, and it's something you can get caught up in if you have tunnel-vision
Also, I think my first Dr. K video was the interview with the guy who wasn't really a hard incel. That really helped too.
Still single now as ever, but I'm not feeling desperate or constricted by hopelessness
In fact, I'm kind of just vibing, relationships feel attainable but not completely in demand, like I have other stuff to do
Bonus points for citing Monday Blue Monday! He was the true Chad all along.
The "Look at real people, not horror stories from the Internet" is actually the best advice. Incels are extremely Terminally Online and think on Humanity only at terms of their online behaviours.
Many Incels could potentially spit out the Blackpill if, when they see couples outside, didn't seethe in envious rage but instead noticed that the men in such couples are almost never ultra-rich Gigachads, and if women are monkeybranching they ought to be living the dream in some harem instead of living in overpriced studio apartments and working in crappy jobs.
@@phosspatharios9680 Here is my issue. It is societally accepted, even encouraged that women can vent and openly show frustration towards men, and I'm not just talking about rape but for example how men are attracted to their bodies in general. And thats fine. But if progressivism doesn't leave at least a tiny bit of space for men to express something like that too (for example how the pursuer-pursued dynamic still abso-fucking-lutely exists and how that comes with it's own set of frustrations), it will be very very hard to stop the red/blackpill. Just my opinion.
at least the things you listed at the end gives you a better chance, right? or youre gonna tell me all top 10% men are jerks and rude? or most?
"There is more to life than looks, money, socirtal status etc" like what?
A discussion between Dr. K and Wheat Waffles would be quite nice.
Why would it? Dr K would say yup it is a meat platter and people will take advantage of it as much as they get away with. Hed then say if you don’t have success on there then get off there. Simple as that.
Unfortunately I disagree, W.w doesn't have the mental capacity to see that he could be wrong. It's best to not engage
It’s another load of bullshit you can obviously work on yourself and mindset but you can’t force attraction to women if they don’t find you attractive because of your face or height for instance
DR k is talking so much non sense his explanations are not even proven by empirical data while Blackpillers have a ton of evidence. Watch women behavior if you want the answer, most women are lovely when they find you attractive. It’s another load of bullshit you can obviously work on yourself and mindset but you can’t force attraction to women if they don’t find you attractive because of your face or height for instance.
@@issac7787 this is objectively false as he has taken accountability multiple times lol
"All you have to do is go outside"
I wholeheartedly agree
@John Doe it is that simple
@@issac7787 ...not if can ´t find the exit ... or you have to unlock the door first
It's easy just touch grass right? 😂
@@issac7787 not for all just , some of these dude can't
@@issac7787 Going outside for some pointless lonely walk? Yeah, that's simple, at least as long as you're physically healthy enough to do so but it doesn't get you anywhere just the same as sitting at home.
This is a really helpful video. The way you explained seeing your problems in someone else made a lot of sense. I don’t have the same issues as OP, but I still saw my own issues. The part about distracting yourself and things building up especially resonated. Thanks Dr. K
Same herwme but now I'm on Cloud 9.
Cant relate. Blackpill saved my dating life and I am grateful that I stumbled upon it.
Could you go into specifics? I'm 90% you just improved your looks/confidence which you can do without the blackpill anyway
@@Nei982 blackpill shows you lookism and how the female nature favors good looking guys. Blackpill knowledge is useful
@@Nei982 Well, kind of. I did lose a lot of weight. But until I found the blac kpill I was convinced that I was just a loser and that losing weight wouldnt matter anyways, I was always told that looks arent important and that I should focus on improving my personality. I was suicidal and didnt want to live. After learning about the bp it gave me some hope that its not over so I lost the weight and I magically went from being an incel to girls literally trying to initiate flirting with me. All these years I had an attractive face hiding behind the fat and I didnt even know it.
@@loudseik9997 Real, nice job mate am proud of you !
@@loudseik9997 thats not the blackpill thats just self improvement
most blackpillers believe that ur genetics are what makes u unlovable
"taking the blackpill" isn't an issue I have now (though I went through a period where I started feeling the start of that), but this video is a really good breakdown of any negative spiral feedback loop and how to break out of it. Becoming aware of particular emotions and triggers, learning to be okay with the uncomfortable emotions instead of having to do something to get rid of them *right now*, and eventually growing away from those destructive thought patterns is ultimately the core of most healing cycles I've been through or seen experienced.
It's hard, it sucks to do and it feels like you're "just ignoring the problem" sometimes but it really does work and helps you be so much happier (or at least more content) in the long run.
DR k is talking so much non sense his explanations are not even proven by empirical data while Blackpillers have a ton of evidence. Watch women behavior if you want the answer, most women are lovely when they find you attractive. It’s another load of bullshit you can obviously work on yourself and mindset but you can’t force attraction to women if they don’t find you attractive because of your face or height for instance.
How appropriate that a video on the blackpill has thirty minutes of *void* in it.
Lol
The entire video is void of substance
try being 4'11
You can get girls around your height. Why do you want someone like 5'6? Would you date 4'2?
@@arpit.sharma Yea and down syndrome girls want down syndrome boys. Oh wait they do not and never have.
How tall is Danny devito?
You’re going too far, try being 5’5 lol
@@elgrek0249 i Know-how this this asian guy who is like 5.4 and he has that autistic rizz which somehow nets him a high bodycount
What if going outside makes me more blackpilled?
Skill issue
How so?
It’s actually not a joke. Seeing attractive men living easy lives is suic fuel
@@xtdycxtfuv9353 This is like refusing to ever go to the gym because you know you'll never compete with the beefcakes.
That's not why you're going to the gym lol. You're going to the gym because it will make you feel better about yourself and improve your well-being and you'll grow as a person.
This is how you know you aren't cut for deluding yourself your entire life
48:19-48:43 actually made me well up.
I have some friends, good friends too. But mostly I want to be alone. I don't want to be a burden on others. I don't think I can actually help them, and then if I come burdening, I feel guilty. And of course I won't actually open up, because that's a huge burden. The sort of burden I don't seem myself taking for others. So I just stay alone. Keep to myself. Think about things myself. And that sucks.
i know what you mean. how are you doing?
Tell me more about how its all going to be alright and how I should just bury my head in the sand to cope. Im sure that'll help me feel better. What do you do when you see reality backing up this black pill stuff? Choose to ignore it? At what point do we admit that we're ignoring reality to feel better. The problem is that even if you pretend its not there, reality doesn't go away.
It’s not natural to give up on mating yes some people are so screwed it’s almost impossible but that doesn’t make black pill worthwhile. A good percentage of black pillers are just people who have low self esteem and found an ideology that appeals, for this reason people will never agree to the black pill it’s not a positive mindset
I hope you find happiness soon
ah yes, the reality that you learn from a "sigma male" on 4chan, and not from the fucking real life
@@caixo5604 my lived experience ARE "fking real life" genius. Never had to hop on 4chan for that. Never will
@@inquisitionagent9052 these people don’t get it not there reality
Saying you should 'untake the black pill' is like saying you should embrace delusional instead of truth and fact. Knowing and accepting the black pill does not mean you have to think about it and/or watch videos 24/7...
If it bothers you, learn it, understand it, then put it to one side and try to enjoy life by doing other things.
Even if black pill ideology was 100% true it still doesn't make any sense to give up. Your chances are absolutely zero in that case.
@Nei982 I would think it depends on the person. I wouldn't tell anybody to give up completely, but realistically, if you are very physically unattractive then it might be best not to obsess over relationships and try to move on and find fulfilment in other way's. Would you tell a 5 foot tall guy to pursue his dream of becoming a professional basketball player to the expense of other career's? Or would you tell him to accept reality?
I think it can be dangerous for guy's to NOT be blackpilled. There is value in having this knowledge. So many guy's are clueless.
@@MR-el2ym Except, the evidence for the blackpill and the wider in//cel community is based entirely on IG, TikTok, Snap, and YT. And its whole basis for someone’s ability to get in the door with a woman is based on online dating. There is no empirical peer reviewed study that supports the ideology of the in//cel community. If you can provide me one please tell me
Just erase your memories theory
4:38 This arguent is false, because that was pre-internet era and most people matched throught their social circle. Females picked from 20 males around them max. Now with internet females can pick and chose from 1000s of men.
Well, one thing's for sure, we're going to see about 40 percent women single and childless within the next decade. The only way to account for this is that women are being super-picky.
This is such an important topic and I have to say I love your work and how you approach these topics. You're incredibly wise and your breakdowns of issues like this are very nuanced. For anyone wondering, even people considered to be attractive can be blackpilled too. I don't say this as discouragement but rather to emphasize that happiness and satisfaction come from finding value and enjoyment in your own life. I find that this is easier said than done, but even taking a small step in that direction can make a huge difference. I wish everyone luck in becoming their best selves and hopefully in turn finding a great partner!
Even if it's just Facial aesthetics, anthropology, biology, evolution, and evolutionary psychology even economics, you can see that looks and height still play a huge role in success in dating and career. You don't have to be an incel or a black piller. It's just Science. It is what it is.
Plus there's anthropological data that there were massive gender imbalances in reproduction. The only thing i think has really changed is that the "losers" are more visible now thanks to better data and the internet
correct, these things go back atleast a few hundred thousand years of evolution. they're not going away because someone made a youtube video.
Reith Hardhead A Black Pill A Day Keeps Delusions Away.
Nobody said they don't matter. They just aren't the whole picture. They help immensely, but are not 100% necessary.
@@chickensalad3535 Right? Just run the race with a weight on your leg
There's about 20 minutes of dead space in the middle of the video between 32:30 and 54:20 roughly. Great commentary, I think this is a very helpful video even outside of relationship/incel context just because I think so many of us have fucked up understanding of our emotions. I never really thought about the fact I never got passed just venting.
Thank you!
Thank you bro, I thought my browser was bugged or something
Not dead for me??
@@Vivivofi, he fixed it later.
@@seriouscat2231 bro it’s been 8 month wtf
You can't "untake" truth and reality
But you can decrease the dosage💯, pills have dosages right?
@@florenceicu Yeah you can return to a fog of lies and deception. Blackpill doesn't make you positive and happy but blue/red pill makes you absoluetly miserable.
See thats the problem, the black pill tell you something extremely obvious people already know "you're not going to beliive this but looks matter you guys" and you mfs take it to the extreme, yall need to chill the fuck out
@@florenceicu
You can't unlearn what you have already learned, you can of course try to avoid reality and facts to keep yourself ignorant in the future, but the question is why? Why purposefully deny seeking the truth knowing it will screw you over down the line?
People amaze me. The phrase "toxic positivity" exists for a reason. When you try so hard to avoid reality in order to save your feelings from getting hurt only to get screwed over down the line due to your purposeful ignorance.
@@florenceicu Just don't be too optimistic to the point where it leads to delusion.
Oh yeah. Instead of solving the problem, lets pretend there is no problem and fool ourselves. People actually take this guy seriously?
You have to realise there's is no problem for people not liking you because of your looks ..I am sure you too haven't liked someone because of their looks without even realising
@@soumiliguchhait5177 hmm that is good Black pill advice
Don't be free agent in life. Let the blackpill guide you.
топ 3000 по адекватности
I have this view, but with race., specifically Asian Women and White Men. The trick to go outside and see couples doesn't work for me (as an Asian male) because when I go outside, most Asian women are with white guys. Not saying that it's wrong, it's just my observation and feeds my insecurities
Just Be White in action lmao
Most Asian guys don't even put in an ounce of effort to look presentable plus they're raised by the culture to be passive, meek submissive betas. No woman likes that.
its over for ricels
I live in Asia and believe me most asian women are with asian men
@@soumiliguchhait5177 but isn't that because there aren't a whole lot of other races there?
The grocery store example does not hold up since most of that is one generation away. If I look around at my female and male friends the amount of damage online dating has done is staggering
Yea the suicide rate has significantly increased
Are your friends 9year olds to believe that everything on internet true?
@@dudedude365 no 20-30. Your attempt to dismiss however is of a 9 year old
Tinder changed the dating scene forever.
@@dudedude365 you have anime and game as your username.
The black pill is the truth, deal with it and get in line. We must make ourselves as physically attractive as possible.
You are talking to a wall. They pick some young aged doomers (like waffles) and present them as the majority of cels. Even now, that red pillers are turning black and many people completly accept and use bp terms from the celwiki themselves, now.
Just ask the creator of this clip.: What would be needed in order to prove common bp knowledge? How many more statistics and how many more million experiences do you need?
I find it funny, that people ask this guy about that topic. JFL. Imagine him going out and asking girls out. Holy mother Macree...
Then after he got rejected by every single girl, that doesn't know about his internet fame, he walks back into his room. Sits on his chair and tells you, that it is all bs. The bp is not true at all 🤣
@@spliffrotation7238 No lower your standards get a job and be a step dad
@@fifiadan lmao, lower your standards doesn't do anything.
You sound like a robot
@@timothywade9618 Yes Yes Yes you don’t have a choice, loneliness is one of the biggest factors for unhappiness and decrease of life expectancy you have a biological and survival based imperative to get out there denying it will only hurt in the long run
I love how everyone who has any success in dating sounds exactly like a republican talking about what people of color deal with. It's literally just "the system worked for me so that means there's nothing wrong with it, because then I might feel invalidated. So obviously it's your fault."
Doesn't seem like the Dr K community is having it judging by the comments.
It's the survivorship bias.
I feel like being real about how much looks matter is very important. If you are really really unattractive, you would do good to yourself to just stop desiring certain kinds of relationships and just focus on other things in life.
But I guess taking that pill partially is just going to be negative
That wouldn't have been a problem if we took away women's rights.
Flawed way of thinking. You can’t just “stop desiring” food and water. People have needs, I don’t want a society where some people just give up on life due to bad luck
@@eanderson9599 It's the realization that no one is born with the same deck of cards and thus not everyone can get everything they want. Just because you desire something doesn't mean you'll get it.
@@eanderson9599 he is right. As an ugly man, it helps for me to give up on love and relationships because it is unrealistic and impossible to achieve. The realization hurts especially when the loneliness kicks in but at least I can spend energy on other things in life.
Even burn survivors get relationship, even people with messed up faces from FAS get relationship, to think that you won't find relationship because you are ugly is foolish at best. Sincerely, an ugly guy
I see His comments about group therapy reflected in my interactions with school clubs. When I go to anime club no one is going to judge my love for fictional pirates and mecha battles. Has really helped me get out of my shell. Now I can talk to people about the things I’m passionate about with far less feelings of anxiety.
I respect your opinion Dr.K but I have to diagree with your example. Yes, not all father are in top 10% but that is because women look outside the top 10% when they are in their mid 30s and running out of option (just see the average age of marriage)
In addition, even then women feel they are settling. 70-80% of divorces are initiated by women. Men are judged by what we can bring to the table, which maybe looks charisma and resources. You are confusing the desire for security and reseouces later on in life, with guinine attraction.
The roasties get desperate and try to pick up betabuxx
dont think i ever identified as an incel/femcel at any point but i did feel those feelings of undesirability and worthlessness for a lot of my high school years...
once i got a job, started college, and met a lot more people i realized how close minded that viewpoint was
Trash
I mean you're also called trash, so
How is it close minded if I ask
That’s cause you’re female.
@@outlaster3431 Not op, but I can answer on my behalf. When you change/expand your environment, you start to see cracks of your previous beliefs, especially in case of "feeling unlovable" and "being inherently undesirable", because your sample size is so minuscule when you are stuck with same people, same environment, same mindset, hence it being "closed", because it is not a truly open minded view on life.
At least that was the case for me. Stuck in the same city for years, same people, and I thought that was it, I'm inherently unlikable, because that's what you see everyday, that's what you observe and you came to that conclusion. I concluded that it was because I was ugly, because I genuinely am; asymmetric face that is riddled with dermatitis and rosacea, no jawline at all, can't grow facial hair... I can go on for hours. I'm doomed to live this life and I can do nothing about it.
But I left my city for uni, I found people who genuinely care for me, people that reach out to me and help me without wanting anything in return. And I didn't even have to improve myself or make myself presentable or anything, I was genuinely in the lowest point of my life but those people still liked me as who I am. I pushed myself to go out rather than sitting on my ass all day and lo and behold, I got my first date in 20ish years of my life! I'm still ugly as hell lol, don't get me wrong on that part, but I've come to realize I'm not bound by it. It doesn't tie me down to any inherent worth, or the lack of it. There are people who will genuinely like you as who you are, and the reason I felt the opposite was, in the most technical speaking, a sampling bias :p
You can't untake the black pill thats like trying to believe in santa clause again
What really is Black pill Matt? Can you explain
Where are your facts? Where is the empirical evidence prooving the blackpill wrong?
None,he is just mumbling nonsense like every other video of his
that's all we ask for really. the facts bit they can never give it.
@@Tocinos I hope you're trolling cause if your serious, that's some real mental illness sh*t right here
@@Tocinos says the guys giving tutorials for glitches in Skateboard games 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Grow up, man!
@@Tocinos youtube is one big kid and you can't swear anymore or you're comment will be hidden.
But yeah seek therapy
Even the idiots here who say "looks don't matter" are the ones that have subconsciously chosen partner based on looks
That is not hair A Black Pill A Day Keeps Delusions Away.
Why not just date ugly girls? Honestly the deeper into late stage feminism we get the more im convinced ugly girls must make significantly better partners than pretty ones.
Pretty girls seem like an absolute nightmare to be with.
Looks do matter, obviously. But it’s not the whole story. No need to be so salty. You’re being salty over the wrong thing. Would you marry a 100kg girl with a mole on her cheek who’s a 10/10 in personality? I doubt so.
Looks certainly play a role but it's not the most important. For me, if a girl is like 5/10 on looks, but I vibe with her, and she has a great personality, then I wouldn't hesitate to date her at all
@@JustWalden what if shes a 2/10
You cannot untake the black pill.
It's like un-doing the universe.
@Mew2Win probably British Petroleum
@Mew2Win They probably meant sadness or despair, but not an actual ideology. One thing is to have a good mood, another thing is to recognize that odds are stacked against you and there is nothing you can do to fix rigged situation. Normies have a misconception that blackpill is an ideology based on mood. But actually mood is the result of reality as perceived by ideology.
You're addicted to the black pill. Time to get treatment. 😂
@Mew2Win I don`t think it is meaningful to convince them of something they oppose. They hush it up on purpose. They disagree because it ruins perception of niceness.
A truecel in denial explaining why you should leave the blackpill.
I'm 6'4 and good-looking. I'm also blackpilled, since i used to be a fatcel.
@WAAAAAA!!! MY CHIIIIIINNNNNN!!! Got nothin to prove, big dawg.
As someone who has also blackpilled himself. Its even more obvious because you experience it with yourself. You live 2 different worlds. Look up cameron herrin bald. Assuming you know who that is, I rest my case
@@BlackpillObeah Whole different world. I always been an introvert. Anxiety seemed to paralyzed me when i would talk to people, my friends always told me "you need confidence bro" (even though they're social normies yet they barely can pull a sub5 girl).
After losing weight (i just stayed at home most of the time), i started going to the gym and the first day i was hit on by 2 girls... after the first "romantic" contact with a girl, i just felt that "confidence boost", that a girl obsessing over you gives you...
Of course you have "confidence" when most girls turn their heads too see you, they stare at you and blush when you look at them. The moment you look a girl in the eyes and smile and she blushes and can't control her happiness, you know that k*tty is already 90% yours... there are not mixed signals
Based
@@blackpilledchad1927 Is it really tho?
Denying the blackpill is a cope to help you feel better. Accepting the situation for what it is would be your best possible choice by now.
Taking any pill is retarded
What is it that men actually want/need from dating and relationships? What is it that is best for lifetime satisfaction?
I get the impression that there aren't clearly set plausible goals for what most men require to be happy in dating.
Off the top of my head, it seems to me that the following are a realistic set of targets that would mostly satisfy most men:
1) Lost virginity by age 19
2) Have had at least 5 sexual relationships or hook-ups with women they find attractive before age 25
3) Have a longterm relationship with a woman they find attractive, which offers the potential for living together and children if they wish, that lasts at least 10 years
Are these reasonable? They seem the minimum requirement for mental health and met needs imho.
Following that, who can plausibly attain those goals?
It seems evident to me that to get those things, a man would need to meet certain criteria, both in looks and elsewhere.
They would realistically have to be 5'7 +, not be obese, have at least a 4/10 face, not be highly neurodivergent nor seriously mentally ill, have reasonable social skills, not be desperate, have a job or be a student, and not be seriously disabled.
Am I wrong int hat assessment? It seems self-evident to me that someone who doesn't meet those basics, especially if they fail in multiple areas, doesn't have a realistic chance of achieving those goals (though I admit there will be one or two exceptions).
No looks are very umpirtant but nit blacksoil important, to say they are solely important is just as foolish as saying urs a non factor
@@Dantes2888 Over for sickcels
@@forcedtohaveahandleSkill issue. my inmune system takes care of it lol
6:29 "For thousands of years people have been forming relationships without tinder"
Yes, and for thousands of years people were moving around on dirt roads using horses. Today, you'll have to go out of your way to find someone riding a horse anywhere. A lot of things that were normal and working in the past, are neither considered normal, nor working today, because something else has almost completely replaced the old. Something else is the new normal, and for some (or A LOT) of people that new normal might not work anymore. In the case of Tinder, most criticism about it is completely justified.
Im a blackpiller but i don't hate women or society for this. This is human nature and it shouldn't be shamed
Its not.
@@lolnyantertsit literally is
>muh its not cuz i say so
@@urevya Are you a child?
It's a HIGHLY EXAGGERATED and unnatural phenomenon. What exists today is due to a very unhealthy and terminally online society as to which the value and rewards systems of today rewards bad behavior. For most of k select human history it was not this bad
It really isn't
Ofcourse one should recognise their limitations but that doesn't mean giving up lmao
Giving up seeps through everything else and makes you sound defeated which isn't an attractive trait
this doctor later in his life gets 1 girl and suddenly he is an expert on women and dating?
there are 15 yr old guys with more experience than him.........
The video isn't about dating he almost completely avoided that topic. t's about how negative feedback cycles affect your brain and how to break out of them.
JFL
This self proclaimed expert on women relationships is probably grateful that she allows him having intimacy once in a year at his birthday, jfl
There are dogs with more experience at human women than him😂. Dogpill is brutal.
@@АнатолийВитковский-ь4иa hand job for being a good boy and providing
I got into the red pill/black pill thing after a breakup with my long term girlfriend (which to this day still affects me). It is usually the manner in which you are hurt that leads you to these communities, and I'd say that their core tenants/beliefs hold merit.
However, red pill/black pill should never be used to justify your own flaws or bad attitudes towards others. It's an acknowledgement of the fact that you can be betrayed, abandoned, and hurt if you aren't careful with your life choices.
Yeah and the most unfortunate part is there's a lot of good information mixed in with all the crap. There's science behind things like pair-bonding that I wasn't aware of before some red pill channels led me down that research path. However, the actual community aspect of red/black pill channels are very doomer. I don't think any channels should always be full positive or negative, and it's a red flag how most black pill channels predominantly just feed into negativity.
@@Rhodair I don't know what doomsday channels you watch but wheat waffles is a large part of the black pill community and actively promotes solutions to problems
Fair point
@@Rhodair very true
Even if you are careful w them you can be hurt because not everything is under our control, that's one of the reasons why people tend to fall to this pit because they gave their all and still got hurt so they assume there's no hope when they ignore that in reality, external circumstances play a great part of most of those outcomes.
me, an ex weed dealer with a chiselled jaw and abs going through hundreds of women like a piece of cake, who treated them like shit - looking at men who women should pick, who did great in school, great career prospects, family oriented, healthy childhood, loyal etc and they get 0 bitches. I dont need black pill, cus i do fine and im not in their chambers at all... and I can tell you - they are right for the most part.
based
I can't believe anyone thinks this is real 😂 omg... what happened to people's bs detectors
Tinder may not be good for long-term relationships, but it is handy for a girlfriend to find someone better-looking to cheat with.
better-looking, more wealthy and more simpy all at same time with +50 likes per day
It seems to me that saying:
"girls only ever want hot rich guys because that's what my findings on Tinder suggested"
is very similar to saying:
"people only ever want greasy hamburgers and fries because that's what my findings at McDonald's suggested".
There's a heavy sampling bias there. Yeah sure, we almost all agree that greasy hamburgers and fries are really pleasureful, but that's no reason to include them in your diet often, if at all.
Lol seriously! Exactly!
There's a major flaw in the comparison because hot guys are not bad for women like junk food is for people. I don't think the black pill is selling hopelessness, it is selling truth.
@@ThahnG413 It's not selling truth at all. To simplify it down to a single variable like "genetic looks" is the dumbest oversimplification ever.
And you're obviously missing the point of the comparison completely.
The point is not to say junk food is good, or hot guys are bad. The point is that extracting all your data from a narrow source such as tinder or mcdonalds, and then draw a conclusion on the entire rest of the world from that narrow data is beyond ridicilous.
@@jarzez Personally I have watched many of Wheat Waffles videos and he touches on more than just tinder data and even reccomends that if you are not extremely good looking to rely on other forms of dating because tinder is extremely looks based, and while real life is looks based you have a better chance in real life due to the other factors at play.
@@ThahnG413 What you said is entirely beside the point. As @Jackbob said, the point is that taking results from experiments with a heavy sampling bias is a reliable way to get the wrong answer. The analogy is meant to illustrate the flaw in relying on such results.
If it makes you happy let's reword the analogy to say "[...] people only ever want highly palattable foods". It addresses your comment because "highly palettable" is not thought of as inherently bad, but it's sure as hell more difficult to find foods that are when you've also specified constraints like "high fiber", "high in micronutrients", "low sugars". Similarly, sure "rich" and "hot" aren't inherently bad, but if you also choose to specify "down to earth", "empathetic", "can face tough challenges and survive", or whatever else, it's going to get harder. At the very least it's harder simply because the more specific you are about the kind of person, the less and less of that kind of person exists. But then there's also the argument to be made that those attributes of "rich" and "hot" lending themselves to seeing the world and operating in it in a certain way that doesn't lend itself to other desirable traits.
“Just be white,tall,with a good facial structure bro and you’re good and Don’t forget a charming personality”
does blackpill really think race matters
@@jaysanders1347 yes but not that much like blacks have tyrones Asians have Changs and whites have chads but whites are a bit Chads equal a little up with tyrones
@@TheTiredhermit tyrones and white chads are on top of the pyramid
@@beganitdidnt6535 white chads are usually better off, especially in the long run
@@TheTiredhermit There's not that much chads either
Excited for the wheat waffles response video :)
You're making the assumption that the couples with kids are healthy, two-way relationships; not to mention that the child may well be another man's, statistically. And the statistics, being revealing as they are, are still guaranteed to be a minimal reflection of this phenomenon. Men want to be DESIRED, and not just settled for after she has run herself ragged and "turned a new leaf".
What if I get out of the blackpill?
I still can't get a women to love me but I'm a little bit more happy?
Nah f*ck that, I'll rather face the truth that I'm not enough in this day and age than delude myself.
That thinking is blackpilled. If someone only wants you for your looks then they don't love you, I have the minset that not fitting beauty stardards kinda works to my advantage because I know people like me for me. Work on personal growth and I'm sure you will find good people to surround yourself with (romantically or not)
@@siannn "that thinking is Blackpilled" well no sh*t Sherlock I am blackpilled
@@annie1284 lmao
The actual delusion is the blackpill ideology
Than actually accept your belief, stop talking about it, and move on but it seems like you don’t want to improve your mindset, you just want to wallow in misery and grief because you have no higher calling?
There's truth in the blackpill but I try to avoid blackpill content because it can literally destroy your life if you obsess over it.
Sweet Peach A Black Pill A Day Keeps Delusions Away.
HealthyGamerCope 😂😂
UnhealthyGamerCoper
The point Dr. k made about group and how it benefits us is so true. I often tell people that this is my favourite TH-cam Chanel and it’s helped me a lot. Which is confusing to some because I’m not an incel or a gamer. I am a fashionista party girl who uses Instagram as my main platform. But I love the way dr. K breaks down things in a systematic way. Most people who talk about emotions or spirituality say it in a feeling way but I need it explained step by step in a cognitive analytical way before I get it.
Tldr: I agree, you don’t have to have the same specific problem for this to apply
Ya me too i totally love it
I don't use insta but I am quite social love painting and chess, an also I am kind of aiming for psychiatry..not sure it in 5th year of ug but let's see
I’m not black pilled but how one can say looks isn’t a thing in the dating game seem pretty naive. Yes charisma is also a thing, so if you haven’t got looks charisma or money you’re probably screwed.
Oh, you’re meaning to tell me that if you have nothing to offer you’ll also get nothing in return.
@@hoop6988 So money is all a guy can offer? lmao
@@hoop6988Wrong. Women get everything effortlesly.
Just because women chose to have kids with men that aren't in the top 10 percent doesn't mean that they wanted them, at least not initially...they just settled for those men and those men probably settled for those women as well because they cannot get women more attractive then her. People go out to the dating market and try get the best deals they can get. When option 1-8 don't work you go for option 9 because those are your best chances of reproduction\family you have
Men do that too duuh?
Like who wouldnt want to be with the most attractive person in the world.
But that dosen't invalidate the relationships that are below that.
it‘s actually kind of terrifying, think about our parents
@@michaelritter3996fr. Their live never existed. It’s just biology choosing the best candidate for the current situation
did you even watch the video or is acting like a "rational" doomer the best you can do
Sorry but you're wrong. Blackpill is the truth. In modern dating *looks are the number 1 trait which will determine dating success.*
Its understandable that you're in denial over blackpill theory because for some it certainly can be demoralizing. Its convenient for people when challenged to label blackpill as some kind of nihilistic, negative, hopeless crab bucket of incels where everyone is miserable. But it isn't.
Blackpill is simply acknowledging that looks are most important. That's it. You can be still successful in dating and still be blackpilled because you understand its your physical appearance that did the heavy lifting for you. The countless studies and data prove blackpill correct.
@saraj2995 I'm fine. Are you OK though?
I understand that (and believe if)but honestly judging from this comment section it seems like most of them are nihilistic and hopeless lol. I would say that Dr K isn’t exactly wrong here, but he’s just using black pill to refer to general hopelessness
@@moaPro I feel you. I can totally understand why people would think "It's over" for them and on the flipside why blackpilled people are often perceived as hopeless. And yeah you're right I suppose I jumped the gun because he was specifically referring to hopelessness.
There's a difference between say a 6-7/10 face 5'10" white guy who has potential to go from poor results to at the very least getting some women. As compared to say a 3/10 face dark-skinned 5'0" Asian guy... no matter how much plastic surgery, time in the gym or whatever his chances are incredibly slim to none at finding success in the west. Mileage may vary.
So Blackpill is the acknowledgement of looks being number 1, *not* giving up. However... there is also the acceptance of there being things we can't change, no matter much we improve certain aspects of ourselves. Blackpill is freeing in that sense; for some it is that hope to find success, for others it's confirmation that it's time to re-evaluate if dating is worth the time and effort. Each to their own.
I disagree. I wouldn't call myself good looking but I had a lot of attention from women. I used to be a black pill for a long time, and the fact that I was getting that much attention would always shock me. So, I think it is not the most important thing. I had an experience with a 10/10, everything was going smoothly in instagram (she saw my face and complimented my looks) but when we actually meet up, it went terrible. There were no vibes, we didn't connect, and I didn't even want to continue with her anymore. What I want to say is, yes, looks do matter, but not as much as your ability to connect with people and create meaningful relationships.
4:24 Classic Dr. K fail. He fails to recognize that mothers and fathers you see outside with kids are not an accurate experiment for data, as they were without social media/tinder and likely had a smaller pool for dating. When you factor in the amount of selection that women have as a result of social media, then yes, only 10% of men are attractive to women. Women will settle for less, especially if they themselves falls short of the mark, but in general, young men who have no material wealth and are not physically fit are invisible. It doesn’t matter their personality or goodness. They will remain alone. All that means is that you have to become physically fit. And if you’re like me, someone undisciplined and unable to become physically fit to be more attractive, then yes, ultimately there is no hope. The only reason not to kill yourself becomes faith in some higher ideal, being good to others, becoming better articulated, and seeking a deeper understanding of metaphysics.
If what youre saying is true, wouldnt the birthrates in western countries DECLINE after the advent of social media and dating apps?
If you look at the data the birthrates have been stable for years
@@SammyxSweetheart.02 Dude, first off, birth rate is not perfectly correlated with men and women having monogamous relationships, given men in higher and more desirable positions can have multiple women. Secondly, the birth rate in the west IS declining.
@@SammyxSweetheart.02birth rate is stable which data you are looking at ?
@@SammyxSweetheart.02What the fuck are you talking about? Birth rates have been falling since industrialization and even more after the 2000s
@@SammyxSweetheart.02birth rates have been declining??
4:40 how many of them are in a dead bedroom or don't like who they married
🙋
I love how half of the time the solution is "go outside"
Did you shower? Drink water? Just be confident bro!
@@Dimitris_Half Any advice for a high value man like me who does all these things and is still struggling?!!!?
@@ralphwilsin Here's a another solution, DETOX from social media. Take some time off the internet and live your truth. Delete or log of all your accounts on the internet Because 90% of social media just like TV is CAP. Some of info in these cult like spaces on here are to some extent are lies mixed in with true.
@@shealovealicia1017 I LOVE TV!!!
@@ralphwilsin lolz😄 well ok....you can love those things just minimize your time with them and live your life. Good luck.
It's over.
It never began.
Over for neverbegancels
Never began for me. I haven't talked to a real life woman since I was 14, and I'm 21 now.
@@somedudeontheinterwebs45 21 is very young, a lot changes in life with time, ESPECIALLY but not only if you work at it.. When I was 21 I was unemployed dropout living in my parents basement doing literally nothing but playing World of Warcraft.
My entire 20's were a mess. I floundered for well over 10 years -- addiction, drugs, alcoholism, bad influences, etc.
But I'm 34 now and all that's gone. Life changed. I got older. Circumstances changed. In the past 5 years I managed to pull myself together a little bit and even at 29 the improvement was well worth the effort. I own a condo, got a good job, got a few promotions, tried to be a little more social, picked up some hobbies. I'm still lonely, but I also still have hope even that can be improved. Life is a long time, and people age differently now. Almost no one is getting married at 23 and popping out 2.5 kids. Life progress has slowed down for a ton of people, don't let yourself believe this is permanent, that's a mistake.
"Now always feels like forever, but it never is." -John Green
@@somedudeontheinterwebs45 brutal
Blackpill knowledge should be the foundation of your looksmaxxing journey. It can be very positive if you use it to your advantage because you are improving in an area that will definitely bring you results. Looks matter, not just in sex/dating but in all areas of human interaction. It's undeniable.
So, basically i disagree haha, and I'll feel free to share my story real quick.
I personally feel very sad whenever someone believes such things. It's cheesy, but true: true beauty lies within, and those who choose to ignore that will live a lonely life. There ARE people (and women, like me) who value a man being a good person etc much more than some stupid body ideal.
I've had my very rough spots in life too, and ended up having certain preconceptions. I made terrible experiences especially with boys and men, which lead me to loose hope regarding any interactions with them. However, in hindsight that was very stupid of me. Giving up on a big group of people is quite disrespectful towards all of the people of that group that are trying to be different, even when the mainstream of that group is actually "bad".
I met my now-boyfriend over two years ago on an online art community and we hated each other's guts at the start. But we talked a lot and fell in love. At the time i didn't think I'd ever again date a man in my life, but we've been together over 1 year now and I'm convinced he's the love of my life.
I fell in love with him over so many things, but certainly not his looks. In fact, i didn't see his face until way after we were both in love already, and i didn't care, it didn't matter, because i knew i had found a gem based on how pure his heart was and all of the beautiful parts of his personality.
I'm physically very attracted to him, and tbh most of it just simply comes from the fact that i feel safe with him, that he's a good person etc. It works the exact same way for him too.
The relationship really wasn't set out to be easy, we were long-distance, his parents disapproved, he struggles with some mental health stuff he can't get professional help for and i kinda do too. And yet we make it work.
It's just so not about looks.
@@moonysteps8064 you just said your physically attracted to him, then said looks don’t matter. If you weren’t physically attracted to him you 100% would not be dating him.
@@fiat_ow7876 i think it's insane that you are so unwilling to rethink your worldview you would say that. Obviously i know better what I'm attracted to than you. You don't know me. I'm telling you, I'm attracted to his personality. I'm not even really solely physically attracted to men at all in the sense that i don't see some man i don't know and think oh wow, he's attractive. I have to know him and his personality at least a bit to start getting attracted to him.
Please stop trying to tell me what I'm attracted to. I'm telling you, I'm physically attracted to my boyfriend too ofc, but that stems from him being a good person, he has no muscle or good clothes or what society calls a masculine face or money or whatever people find physically attractive, and he's still the only one for me.
U are obsessed buckaroo
Everyone knows looks matter, u can't do anything about it and it's not new or clever to bring it up.