I have cptsd, bpd & osdd & your experience sounds very similar to me 😊 & as another commenter mentioned I'm autistic aswell which I think does make us more likely to experience trauma & dissociation ❤
I know this is an older video, but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate directly seeing how your dissociation affects you. I've recorded myself for video diaries quite a few times, and it's so comforting to see someone talk like me. I feel very seen. Thank you so much.
I was misdiagnosed for a long time with borderline personality disorder. When I finally started talking to my trauma informed therapists and really advocated to them for myself about my deepest feelings and thoughts about what I experience, I was told I have cptsd and osdd. This video was recommended and I want to see what happens on your journey! Sometimes it takes a very long time to figure out if a person has a dissociative disorder. ❤ Dont ever feel discouraged.
your experience is practically 100% structurally like mine. I have DID. (And ASD, which I believe makes me more prone to trauma and dissociation... you may want to look in ASD as well) do you have amnesia? check out the Ring System and Multiplicity and Me-- both very informative and validating. Also check out Ctad clinic with Dr. Mike Lloyd.
Thank you so much for this comment. Actually, I've spoken to the Ring System and watch both of those channels. You're right, super informative. I actually went to the hospital to find out if what I was dealing with was reality, but I think it is just high dissociation. I will check out Mike Lloyd. Thanks again!
Omg gguuurrrlll !!!! So glad your video was recommended to me/us! We changed our name in most places from Stones of Borderline to Stone Haven Mind for this (almost) exact journey. Watching DissociaDID's first video about "evil" alters blew our mind as we already had our BPD part sectioned off as "The Enchantress" (the one who takes over & has horrible thoughts, etc) - we had already seen others within our head. We had already had visions of our "Mother Warrior" part - where she lives, what her family is like, etc. I'm so glad you are coming out - I/we felt EXACTLY the same way about coming out about extra diagnoses to the community. So so cool to find you's & your channel! Much love! I'll have to find you on Insta, too (LOL at the end clip! Saw it after writing this). Also, I think it's more ok & accepted to self diagnose DID after diligent research. It's a diagnosis that professionals still debate even existing (which is ridiculous) because that's how much stigma & ignorance is attached to it. I've literally been scoffed at, w/no other reply when I brought it up to a male who was supposed to diagnose me. People can be horrible about things they don't understand, but I'm sure you know this already because the stigma w/BPD is horrible!
i would love to hear you talk about this more sometime and what it's like now a few months later and how you're doing, it helps me feel a lot less alone. hope you're well, thank you for sharing your experience
Thank you so much, I'm so glad your video came to my page. So much to say. You're doing great, to help your healing and ours. Very similar experience to my own. My therapist just said last appointment that most likely one of my alters is bipolar, but we aren't all. The noise and dissociation are so hard to handle. The only thing that kind of dulls everything sometimes is seroquel, I am off of it now so I can break some amnesia walls to heal. When you talked about the breaking, yes, I feel like a bandaid was ripped off. Much love and healing to you
Thank you so much for this! I'm so appreciative that it was helpful to you. I used to take Seroquel, but it made me feel like a zombie. Since this video, I've had episodes, but the voices are much quieter now. I can confirm I don't have DID, but I can understand the struggle. 🌻✨
This mimics a lot of my experience. I don't tend to have voices as often, or if I do I tend to not notice them. Sometimes I will notice that my head is quiet but feel like the noise had just stopped, or I will notice talking and the voices will go away. I also hear a lot of screaming, or when there is a voice I forget immediately what was said. I remember people being around all my life and last year I had a period of a few months where I was someone else. But I'm a minor so I could just be messing it up and I know that I won't be able to get a diagnosis for anything for at least a few more years because of my circumstances, so I'm just trying to figure out things on my own without getting too upset with myself.
Recommend not getting on anything, as it will can mess you up more and gradually, but also reccomend studying psychology and with plausibly the spiritual communities? If they are traumatised and/or on drgs, you can get the most negative depictions, in accordance?
I've since learned that with Bipolar (which I was also diagnosed with) can present psychotic symptoms which can cause auditory and visual hallucinations.
We are autistic and OSSD your experience ead validating. Our host whe they were little used to dream of a lot of worlds some places theyd never been in. Theyd always get night terrors. With age that did die down but vivid dreams wont. Also validating on another point as to how blue showed up, because one of ohr alters st. Jimmy and billie joe Armstrong would show up the same way. We remember out host not really caring about greenday growing up, but billie was just still there in our system and we knew it. Wewoulr see him whenever our host would play as a child he would sit beside us just wacth and listen billie would. Billie now probably has the closest relationship with our host out of most of the alters. St. Jimmy being 2nd he originally showed up differently from his source but he was still connected to source. He was just more of a tender soul to him. How wed describe his presence he wore a light color palette. Later once our host got closer to him he started to become more source connected. He would also do the same thing billie would do, just sit and listen and watch. Specially showed up when our host was angry or mad or even depressed and Sometimes providing our host with hugs or comfort if needed be. This role would be important later, because he had grown such a close relationship with our host that he said let me hold that rage. We have a very large headcount some are more ingolved than others. -mike dirnt
I thought it was "normal" for other ppl with BPD to have a voice that tells them to do something other than what their doing, usually with something impulsive- But I usually have what I have called "different parts" arguing in my mind. I have basically just considered that I have different parts or facets that have conflicting emotions and trains of thought Idk- I got diagnosed with Bipolar when I was 18, then it got "switched" to BPD when I was 19, specified as quiet BPD by my therapist. I haven't really seen a mental health professional since then cuz soon after that diagnosis I aged out of my uncle's insurance. I have seen some ppl sporatically, but no one ever "clicks'. My aunt has told me that since I've moved to town, her and some relatives have suspected that I(and my sister) have DID or OSDD. I keep looking into it and the more I find and research the more I keep freaking out internally and keep "switching" from curiosity, to denial, to hope of getting help, to anger and sadness.
Man, I know that must be frustrating and exhausting. You are doing the right thing by continuing your research. Unfortunately, it is hard to really pinpoint what's up without the help of a professional. As far as therapy, there are seveal online therapists in case there is an issue seeing someone in person. But if that's what you DO want, see about any free clinics in your area. Also look up counseling centers. I didn't know there was a free clinic in my area until I reached out. But BPD, Bipolar and DID/OSDD are tricky. Don't let yourself get frustrated by not having all the answers right now. You are doing great just by seeking help in the first place. 🌻💛
I identify a lot with this. Most of my instances are where different parts of me will fight with each other and having multiple trains of thoughts. I keep switching between thinking I have it and deciding I definitely don't, as well as how I feel on the matter.
Thank you so much for posting your thoughts and experiences. I haven’t ever been to a psychiatrist or anything more than a counselor even though I’m 23, my family hasn’t ever “felt anything was wrong with me.” But I relate to your words here very much. I’ve been concerned that different aspects of my life and confusing parts of my past line up with other dissociative stories, with thoughts that are dialogue instead of monologue and “imaginary” people having been around for years. I hope that you’re doing well these days, I’ll be trying to catch up and see how you are more recently. This is the first vid of yours I’ve seen after researching DID experiences, it appeared in my recommended. Thank you very much
God bless you. I struggle with this and I’m so happy with your videos. More than any other BPD video I’ve heard. They give run downs of things i can find on google. Thank you!
Hi, not about this video specifically but thank you. Without going into too many specifics, as it’s traumatic for me. As weird as it may sound, you think with my background that would be nothing compared to my experiences growing up. I was told that the disorder that you’re talking about this that you are an automatic liar and that you have no empathy for others. They also told me that I must have hurt someone in my past that I just hadn’t remembered it. Because people with the disorder you’re talking about, according to my therapist, do that. On one hand, I believe that my therapist is wrong. I do not remember neither do any of my system members remember any violent behavior from me. It was also specific. I told my therapist that my parents used to hit me, and they told me that I lied about that and I used to hate my parents. I told them that I didn’t used to hit my parents, and they called me a liar because that’s what people with BPD do. When it comes to memory loss, it’s either patchy or complete memory loss. The fact that I can still remember the event, she’s just claiming that I forgotten the details makes me suspicious. On the other hand, they are the professionals after all. My old friends believe the saying, and believe that I have no empathy for others as a result. I’ve got a disconnect from them because they now believe me as a monster because my therapist said so. On top of the hurt of losing my friends. I feel unlovable. Like I’m just inclined to be the worst person and there’s nothing I can do about it. through some magic, i hurt others around me emotionally, even though I don’t intend to. I don’t feel like this describes me, I feel like it curses me. Like my destiny is to be the worst person that there is. Which, as you could imagine, makes me feel like I shouldn’t be here anymore. Obviously, this is not the only reason but it’s one. Regardless of what title I would call myself in terms of MPD, DID, or OOSD-1b, I know I’m a system. According to what I read, you don’t need to have a diagnosis to be a system. You do need a diagnosis for DID, but not to claim that you’re a system. I have these members, and they front and help me get through really tough times. Although I have a bit of sadness that my system members are the only people I feel can love me, but they do, and I appreciate that. I love hearing them because even if they’re not always nice, or there’s not nice members, I can still trust them. because even the not nice members have good intentions. Despite knowing every little thing I do, they still care for me. That is more than anyone has done in my life. even if it hurts because I know that people outside would never love me the same way. If I were to say, which is I’m not saying, but if I were. I still think my therapist was wrong about BPD. But I believe it’s DID, especially after watching this video. I have to put something over the mirrors in my home, because it really freaks out the members in the system. They look at themselves, I don’t see themselves, which is incredibly dysphoric and freaky. Especially for the male members because the body is female. It’s not OOSD-1B simply because we have one member that has more memory loss than me. But, if your experiences still do describe BPD. Then I think BPD should be recognized as valid systems. The plural community only recognizes DID and OOSD. But if you could have fully autonomous people inside your head that can front, even if those people aren’t still somewhere you, they’re still valid because they have their own separate conscious. It would be very similar to DID, they’re not really recognized. At the same time though, in a way they already have in the sense that there is a movement to use system instead of DID simply because of the diagnosis troubles. you can see on participating in that movement of trying to turn people away from diagnosis for diagnosis sake. Not to actually get help, just for a diagnosis.
I honestly sounds to me that you need to find a new therapist. Any therapist that makes you feel bad about something you cannot control is not a good therapist. I suggest looking on this website called Verywell Mind. They have lots of helpful articles. It will get better. You will find better, worthy friends.
@@BPDsquared admittedly this isn’t my current therapist. My current therapist has their problems, but they are not making things worse. The worst thing about my current therapist is that they are not trained in trauma. So, I’m getting more generic advice from them which is not really working. At the same time though, I don’t feel worse about myself after each session. I feel like it is helping me with something even if it’s not helping me with the reasons I actually went to therapy. With that being said though, I really do appreciate your comment. The reason why I don’t typically tell people about the story, is because when I tell it they think I’m a monster. I feel quite a bit of shame over this. But I felt it was safe here as you don’t appear to be talking about BPD in the same light my past therapist did. Other channels that talk about this disorder, although don’t claim that you’re physically violent, do claim that you are emotionally hurt other people by your presence. Because I already got that from my previous therapist, it made me feel awful. You were the first person that didn’t give me that impression, which made me feel like it was safe to tell this. same with your comment section. so I do thank you for believe me in the sense that it’s not me but my therapist. I think if I can fully believe what they said was wrong, then I can at least move on from this. I’m not going to say that I still won’t believe that I’m an awful person, because this wasn’t the only reason. But it would help.
Everything takes small steps. I still struggle with feeling like a "good" person most of the time. But you will get to a point where you will truly believe it. I do hope that moving forward, you find someone who will help you navigate your feelings versus making you believe something that isn't true. I don't know too many "monsters" who actually want to change for the better. The sooner you stop viewing yourself as that, the sooner you will start to heal. 😊🌻✨️
@@BPDsquared yeah, I can relate to that. My best coping mechanism is to not think about it. But at the same time, this post means that sometimes I still think about it. I hope that you get to feel loved to, both by the people around you and by yourself.
Haha.. girl im sorry next time you post a video can you turn the music down a teeny bit its hard to hear you speak and Im having trouble understanding. But I have BPD too and id love to hear what you have to say!
Us we are I can totally relate. I hear parts of myself I haven’t heard from and now voicing their opinions and sharing memories but by bit with me. You aren’t alone keep being you
When we found out and came out of the fog we had rapid switching due to body memories and like you said the straw that broke the camels back. It gets better over time and help talking about the trauma with our dr and therapist. Yes as soon as we grounded we heard better! Have you ever tried writing while disassociated we have good communication that way. We disassociate while reading and writing. We have a angry child alter and her perception is warped like a child and was a trauma holder. I’m so happy you found answers! Keep talking! Mins is good but entropy system explained more in detail good luck girl you got this
Thank you for sharing 🌠 I don't think anyone needs to diagnose us anymore. Almost every one of my personalities has a disorder. That's leaves me with the fact that yes. Bipolar was true. For that alter. ADD was true for that alter. BPD. Depression. Anxiety. And so forth! I can't find the links. I'm looking for the shadow man link...
People with bpd still disassociate I’m told I also have voices that I hear I’m still unsure what or who that is. Usually a voice giving me an instruction which I usually don’t carry out. Unsure even if it’s my own voice at times. Very confusing for us for sure. Just starting to watch now. I’ve had bpd for 48 years now, I’d suggest do some research on this and speak to your mh provider. I have bpd plus ptsd plus ocd lol. So a mixed bag.
So... You can have alters with BPD? Or are they just "alters" like... different variations of yourself, but you’re still there like... your concious all the time but not necessarily the "same person"? Just curious, because I was just told by my psychiatrist that I have strong symptoms of BPD and this is exactly how I feel 😅
From what I understand, it is the latter. You will experience different versions of yourself: Some age regression where you feel like a child or where you may feel more like the opposite sex or more aggressive. It varies for a lot of people. I suggest looking up "dissociation in BPD". I found an article on the VeryWell Mind Website that was great: www.verywellmind.com/dissociation-in-borderline-personality-disorder-425482 I hope this helps and thanks for you comment! 🌻💛
I have bpd as well. How do we know when we saw people in our mind, or are imaginating people???but when you are imagining you realise of it and keep with fantasie,soo how do we know??
i have bpd but my identity problems make me feel like i have did i hope i figoure it out one day but its confusing sometimes iv named them at this point james likes to live in the imagination rick jones the social comedian john doe hates everyone and wants to be left alone jack who pushes through pain and void who feels nothing completely empty and i feel lost no consistency i feel like myself untill i dont i have consistent memories but often forget convocations and days feel like a blure or a standstill their is no consistency and i hate it
This is exactly the kind of channel Ive been looking for 😭💗 As much as these white creators have helped me understand myself and different kinds of diagnoses, it's been crucial for me to hear from other black people because our experiences and feelings can be extremely different. I'm really happy you're here and talking about your experiences 💗
Id diagnose u easy, there are switches i can pick up on. Just keep sharing get urself into what causes u fear and anxiety. Proper dx's are key and very helpful watch my channel if u like
Timestamps
Thank you!
I have cptsd, bpd & osdd & your experience sounds very similar to me 😊 & as another commenter mentioned I'm autistic aswell which I think does make us more likely to experience trauma & dissociation ❤
twinn
hope ur feeling better today, are you also a highly sensitive person? At least as a child? I think that changes so much
I know this is an older video, but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate directly seeing how your dissociation affects you. I've recorded myself for video diaries quite a few times, and it's so comforting to see someone talk like me. I feel very seen. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing your story and watching the video. 🫂❤️🩹🌻
I was misdiagnosed for a long time with borderline personality disorder. When I finally started talking to my trauma informed therapists and really advocated to them for myself about my deepest feelings and thoughts about what I experience, I was told I have cptsd and osdd. This video was recommended and I want to see what happens on your journey! Sometimes it takes a very long time to figure out if a person has a dissociative disorder. ❤ Dont ever feel discouraged.
Thank you so much for this. 🫂❤️🩹
your experience is practically 100% structurally like mine. I have DID. (And ASD, which I believe makes me more prone to trauma and dissociation... you may want to look in ASD as well) do you have amnesia? check out the Ring System and Multiplicity and Me-- both very informative and validating. Also check out Ctad clinic with Dr. Mike Lloyd.
Thank you so much for this comment. Actually, I've spoken to the Ring System and watch both of those channels. You're right, super informative. I actually went to the hospital to find out if what I was dealing with was reality, but I think it is just high dissociation.
I will check out Mike Lloyd. Thanks again!
@@BPDsquared I find the CTAD clinic channel very helpful too.
aww you mentioned Nin but so much has changed in their system since then it brought back memories DisociaDID was my comfort channel back then
Omg gguuurrrlll !!!! So glad your video was recommended to me/us! We changed our name in most places from Stones of Borderline to Stone Haven Mind for this (almost) exact journey. Watching DissociaDID's first video about "evil" alters blew our mind as we already had our BPD part sectioned off as "The Enchantress" (the one who takes over & has horrible thoughts, etc) - we had already seen others within our head. We had already had visions of our "Mother Warrior" part - where she lives, what her family is like, etc. I'm so glad you are coming out - I/we felt EXACTLY the same way about coming out about extra diagnoses to the community. So so cool to find you's & your channel! Much love! I'll have to find you on Insta, too (LOL at the end clip! Saw it after writing this). Also, I think it's more ok & accepted to self diagnose DID after diligent research. It's a diagnosis that professionals still debate even existing (which is ridiculous) because that's how much stigma & ignorance is attached to it. I've literally been scoffed at, w/no other reply when I brought it up to a male who was supposed to diagnose me. People can be horrible about things they don't understand, but I'm sure you know this already because the stigma w/BPD is horrible!
Thank you so much for this comment! Please do find me on insta and send me a dm. I'd love to talk more!
i would love to hear you talk about this more sometime and what it's like now a few months later and how you're doing, it helps me feel a lot less alone. hope you're well, thank you for sharing your experience
Thank you for the encouragement and the support. 🌻💕
Thank you so much, I'm so glad your video came to my page. So much to say. You're doing great, to help your healing and ours. Very similar experience to my own. My therapist just said last appointment that most likely one of my alters is bipolar, but we aren't all. The noise and dissociation are so hard to handle. The only thing that kind of dulls everything sometimes is seroquel, I am off of it now so I can break some amnesia walls to heal. When you talked about the breaking, yes, I feel like a bandaid was ripped off. Much love and healing to you
Thank you so much for this! I'm so appreciative that it was helpful to you.
I used to take Seroquel, but it made me feel like a zombie. Since this video, I've had episodes, but the voices are much quieter now. I can confirm I don't have DID, but I can understand the struggle. 🌻✨
I don't know who's talking, but you are an amazing woman to come out with what you have it's difficult for me to even talk about. God bless you girl
Thank you 🙏🏾. Blessings to you as well. 🌻💖
This mimics a lot of my experience. I don't tend to have voices as often, or if I do I tend to not notice them. Sometimes I will notice that my head is quiet but feel like the noise had just stopped, or I will notice talking and the voices will go away. I also hear a lot of screaming, or when there is a voice I forget immediately what was said. I remember people being around all my life and last year I had a period of a few months where I was someone else. But I'm a minor so I could just be messing it up and I know that I won't be able to get a diagnosis for anything for at least a few more years because of my circumstances, so I'm just trying to figure out things on my own without getting too upset with myself.
BPD and autism doesn't usually present with voices.
Recommend not getting on anything, as it will can mess you up more and gradually, but also reccomend studying psychology and with plausibly the spiritual communities? If they are traumatised and/or on drgs, you can get the most negative depictions, in accordance?
I've since learned that with Bipolar (which I was also diagnosed with) can present psychotic symptoms which can cause auditory and visual hallucinations.
We are autistic and OSSD your experience ead validating. Our host whe they were little used to dream of a lot of worlds some places theyd never been in. Theyd always get night terrors. With age that did die down but vivid dreams wont. Also validating on another point as to how blue showed up, because one of ohr alters st. Jimmy and billie joe Armstrong would show up the same way. We remember out host not really caring about greenday growing up, but billie was just still there in our system and we knew it. Wewoulr see him whenever our host would play as a child he would sit beside us just wacth and listen billie would. Billie now probably has the closest relationship with our host out of most of the alters. St. Jimmy being 2nd he originally showed up differently from his source but he was still connected to source. He was just more of a tender soul to him. How wed describe his presence he wore a light color palette. Later once our host got closer to him he started to become more source connected. He would also do the same thing billie would do, just sit and listen and watch. Specially showed up when our host was angry or mad or even depressed and Sometimes providing our host with hugs or comfort if needed be. This role would be important later, because he had grown such a close relationship with our host that he said let me hold that rage. We have a very large headcount some are more ingolved than others. -mike dirnt
I thought it was "normal" for other ppl with BPD to have a voice that tells them to do something other than what their doing, usually with something impulsive- But I usually have what I have called "different parts" arguing in my mind. I have basically just considered that I have different parts or facets that have conflicting emotions and trains of thought Idk- I got diagnosed with Bipolar when I was 18, then it got "switched" to BPD when I was 19, specified as quiet BPD by my therapist. I haven't really seen a mental health professional since then cuz soon after that diagnosis I aged out of my uncle's insurance. I have seen some ppl sporatically, but no one ever "clicks'.
My aunt has told me that since I've moved to town, her and some relatives have suspected that I(and my sister) have DID or OSDD. I keep looking into it and the more I find and research the more I keep freaking out internally and keep "switching" from curiosity, to denial, to hope of getting help, to anger and sadness.
Man, I know that must be frustrating and exhausting. You are doing the right thing by continuing your research. Unfortunately, it is hard to really pinpoint what's up without the help of a professional.
As far as therapy, there are seveal online therapists in case there is an issue seeing someone in person. But if that's what you DO want, see about any free clinics in your area. Also look up counseling centers. I didn't know there was a free clinic in my area until I reached out.
But BPD, Bipolar and DID/OSDD are tricky. Don't let yourself get frustrated by not having all the answers right now. You are doing great just by seeking help in the first place. 🌻💛
I identify a lot with this. Most of my instances are where different parts of me will fight with each other and having multiple trains of thoughts. I keep switching between thinking I have it and deciding I definitely don't, as well as how I feel on the matter.
Thank you so much for posting your thoughts and experiences. I haven’t ever been to a psychiatrist or anything more than a counselor even though I’m 23, my family hasn’t ever “felt anything was wrong with me.” But I relate to your words here very much. I’ve been concerned that different aspects of my life and confusing parts of my past line up with other dissociative stories, with thoughts that are dialogue instead of monologue and “imaginary” people having been around for years. I hope that you’re doing well these days, I’ll be trying to catch up and see how you are more recently. This is the first vid of yours I’ve seen after researching DID experiences, it appeared in my recommended. Thank you very much
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I'm so glad I could be helpful to you. There eill be more to come!
God bless you. I struggle with this and I’m so happy with your videos. More than any other BPD video I’ve heard. They give run downs of things i can find on google. Thank you!
This mirrors exactly what is going on in my mind. Thank you so very much for recording this. ❤
You are so welcome! I'm glad it was helpful for you. Best wishes to you on your journey. 🌻💕
Hi, not about this video specifically but thank you. Without going into too many specifics, as it’s traumatic for me. As weird as it may sound, you think with my background that would be nothing compared to my experiences growing up. I was told that the disorder that you’re talking about this that you are an automatic liar and that you have no empathy for others. They also told me that I must have hurt someone in my past that I just hadn’t remembered it. Because people with the disorder you’re talking about, according to my therapist, do that.
On one hand, I believe that my therapist is wrong. I do not remember neither do any of my system members remember any violent behavior from me. It was also specific. I told my therapist that my parents used to hit me, and they told me that I lied about that and I used to hate my parents. I told them that I didn’t used to hit my parents, and they called me a liar because that’s what people with BPD do. When it comes to memory loss, it’s either patchy or complete memory loss. The fact that I can still remember the event, she’s just claiming that I forgotten the details makes me suspicious.
On the other hand, they are the professionals after all. My old friends believe the saying, and believe that I have no empathy for others as a result. I’ve got a disconnect from them because they now believe me as a monster because my therapist said so. On top of the hurt of losing my friends. I feel unlovable. Like I’m just inclined to be the worst person and there’s nothing I can do about it. through some magic, i hurt others around me emotionally, even though I don’t intend to. I don’t feel like this describes me, I feel like it curses me. Like my destiny is to be the worst person that there is. Which, as you could imagine, makes me feel like I shouldn’t be here anymore. Obviously, this is not the only reason but it’s one.
Regardless of what title I would call myself in terms of MPD, DID, or OOSD-1b, I know I’m a system. According to what I read, you don’t need to have a diagnosis to be a system. You do need a diagnosis for DID, but not to claim that you’re a system.
I have these members, and they front and help me get through really tough times. Although I have a bit of sadness that my system members are the only people I feel can love me, but they do, and I appreciate that. I love hearing them because even if they’re not always nice, or there’s not nice members, I can still trust them. because even the not nice members have good intentions. Despite knowing every little thing I do, they still care for me. That is more than anyone has done in my life. even if it hurts because I know that people outside would never love me the same way.
If I were to say, which is I’m not saying, but if I were. I still think my therapist was wrong about BPD. But I believe it’s DID, especially after watching this video. I have to put something over the mirrors in my home, because it really freaks out the members in the system. They look at themselves, I don’t see themselves, which is incredibly dysphoric and freaky. Especially for the male members because the body is female. It’s not OOSD-1B simply because we have one member that has more memory loss than me. But, if your experiences still do describe BPD. Then I think BPD should be recognized as valid systems. The plural community only recognizes DID and OOSD. But if you could have fully autonomous people inside your head that can front, even if those people aren’t still somewhere you, they’re still valid because they have their own separate conscious. It would be very similar to DID, they’re not really recognized. At the same time though, in a way they already have in the sense that there is a movement to use system instead of DID simply because of the diagnosis troubles. you can see on participating in that movement of trying to turn people away from diagnosis for diagnosis sake. Not to actually get help, just for a diagnosis.
I honestly sounds to me that you need to find a new therapist. Any therapist that makes you feel bad about something you cannot control is not a good therapist.
I suggest looking on this website called Verywell Mind. They have lots of helpful articles.
It will get better. You will find better, worthy friends.
@@BPDsquared admittedly this isn’t my current therapist. My current therapist has their problems, but they are not making things worse. The worst thing about my current therapist is that they are not trained in trauma. So, I’m getting more generic advice from them which is not really working. At the same time though, I don’t feel worse about myself after each session. I feel like it is helping me with something even if it’s not helping me with the reasons I actually went to therapy.
With that being said though, I really do appreciate your comment. The reason why I don’t typically tell people about the story, is because when I tell it they think I’m a monster. I feel quite a bit of shame over this. But I felt it was safe here as you don’t appear to be talking about BPD in the same light my past therapist did. Other channels that talk about this disorder, although don’t claim that you’re physically violent, do claim that you are emotionally hurt other people by your presence. Because I already got that from my previous therapist, it made me feel awful. You were the first person that didn’t give me that impression, which made me feel like it was safe to tell this. same with your comment section. so I do thank you for believe me in the sense that it’s not me but my therapist. I think if I can fully believe what they said was wrong, then I can at least move on from this. I’m not going to say that I still won’t believe that I’m an awful person, because this wasn’t the only reason. But it would help.
Everything takes small steps. I still struggle with feeling like a "good" person most of the time. But you will get to a point where you will truly believe it. I do hope that moving forward, you find someone who will help you navigate your feelings versus making you believe something that isn't true. I don't know too many "monsters" who actually want to change for the better. The sooner you stop viewing yourself as that, the sooner you will start to heal. 😊🌻✨️
@@BPDsquared yeah, I can relate to that. My best coping mechanism is to not think about it. But at the same time, this post means that sometimes I still think about it. I hope that you get to feel loved to, both by the people around you and by yourself.
Haha.. girl im sorry next time you post a video can you turn the music down a teeny bit its hard to hear you speak and Im having trouble understanding. But I have BPD too and id love to hear what you have to say!
No apology necessary! Thank you so much for watching and thanks for the feedback. I'm a WIP. Lolz.
Sounds like you've been through massive trauma. 😢
I'm a cluster b diagnosed person, this is all BPD and PTSD. Wishing you peace and happiness ❤
Thank you. I wish the same for you. 🌻💕✨
@@BPDsquared ❤️
Us we are I can totally relate. I hear parts of myself I haven’t heard from and now voicing their opinions and sharing memories but by bit with me. You aren’t alone keep being you
Keep sharing your voice.
Self diagnosis is valid though specially when dealing with autism.
I have auditory hallucinations as well. I'm diagnosed with BPD and C-PTSD.
Really? I would love to talk more about this. Please, reach out on Instagram or Twitter. @bpdsquared on both.
People?
? Yes?
When we found out and came out of the fog we had rapid switching due to body memories and like you said the straw that broke the camels back. It gets better over time and help talking about the trauma with our dr and therapist. Yes as soon as we grounded we heard better! Have you ever tried writing while disassociated we have good communication that way. We disassociate while reading and writing. We have a angry child alter and her perception is warped like a child and was a trauma holder. I’m so happy you found answers! Keep talking! Mins is good but entropy system explained more in detail good luck girl you got this
Thank you for sharing 🌠 I don't think anyone needs to diagnose us anymore. Almost every one of my personalities has a disorder. That's leaves me with the fact that yes. Bipolar was true. For that alter. ADD was true for that alter. BPD. Depression. Anxiety. And so forth! I can't find the links. I'm looking for the shadow man link...
People with bpd still disassociate I’m told I also have voices that I hear I’m still unsure what or who that is. Usually a voice giving me an instruction which I usually don’t carry out. Unsure even if it’s my own voice at times. Very confusing for us for sure. Just starting to watch now. I’ve had bpd for 48 years now, I’d suggest do some research on this and speak to your mh provider. I have bpd plus ptsd plus ocd lol. So a mixed bag.
So... You can have alters with BPD? Or are they just "alters" like... different variations of yourself, but you’re still there like... your concious all the time but not necessarily the "same person"? Just curious, because I was just told by my psychiatrist that I have strong symptoms of BPD and this is exactly how I feel 😅
From what I understand, it is the latter. You will experience different versions of yourself: Some age regression where you feel like a child or where you may feel more like the opposite sex or more aggressive. It varies for a lot of people. I suggest looking up "dissociation in BPD". I found an article on the VeryWell Mind Website that was great:
www.verywellmind.com/dissociation-in-borderline-personality-disorder-425482
I hope this helps and thanks for you comment! 🌻💛
You can have both plus bipolar all together you can have did and lots of comorbids.
I find the background music very annoying and distracting.... but otherwise good video, thanks for sharing
🌻 YOU ARE AWESOME 💗
No, You are! Thank you so much!
I have bpd as well. How do we know when we saw people in our mind, or are imaginating people???but when you are imagining you realise of it and keep with fantasie,soo how do we know??
This is a great question. I'm actually working on an update video for this, so I'll be sure to answer it there. Thank you for your support. 🌻💛
Telepathy, from law of oneness and fractalised consciounsess, regardless, seperated by memories and experiences, contradictions, too?
Past, present and future lives, too?
i have bpd but my identity problems make me feel like i have did i hope i figoure it out one day but its confusing sometimes iv named them at this point james likes to live in the imagination rick jones the social comedian john doe hates everyone and wants to be left alone jack who pushes through pain and void who feels nothing completely empty and i feel lost no consistency i feel like myself untill i dont i have consistent memories but often forget convocations and days feel like a blure or a standstill their is no consistency and i hate it
This is exactly the kind of channel Ive been looking for 😭💗 As much as these white creators have helped me understand myself and different kinds of diagnoses, it's been crucial for me to hear from other black people because our experiences and feelings can be extremely different. I'm really happy you're here and talking about your experiences 💗
Hugs xx bless u
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Id diagnose u easy, there are switches i can pick up on. Just keep sharing get urself into what causes u fear and anxiety. Proper dx's are key and very helpful watch my channel if u like