I can say that OCD (Pure O) is hell on earth. And nobody deserves it. I battled it for years. I can proudly say I have overcome it, and i want to help those who are suffering from it now. My advice is as follows: 0. See a psychologist who is well aware of CBT and ERP that is cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure . You may at first ask them if they can administer this therapy for you. If you feel they are being Freudian and trying to pick your brain (like: How does this make you feel? Why do you think you have these thoughts?) know they are unqualified to help you, they can only make it worse. (I know from experience) CBT and ERP will be similar to the advice I have written below. 1. Take SSRI’s. These anti-depressants lessen your intrusive thoughts 2. Read about OCD and the OCD types of others. Mine was Harm Pure O and reading about the others in length helps understand what is going on. 3. Exercise everyday 4. Surround yourself with friends and family (don’t stay at home) 5. Meditation/prayer. Though if these are the cause of your OCD skip this advice. If not then try. 6. Try art/ crafts or reading 7. Finally and most importantly.... ERP... stand up to the dragon. The best form of overcoming your fear is to bring it on yourself. If you have a fear of stabbing someone don’t hide the knife but bring it out and label your thoughts as they come into your brain. Acknowledge that these thoughts have nothing to do with you, they are just chemical reactions. Example: if your brain says I am going to stab her, then instead of avoiding the thought say, repeat what you said. Strangely it works. Know they are not you who is speaking just the dragon. You are the brave knight.
I went through this myself and havent had a panic attack in over a year now. I havent been formally treated (SSRIs wont necessarily help unless you also have depression) but broke free of it myself. some passing thoughts remain sometimes but i dissasociate myself from them and they no longer scare me. but agreed it is hell on earth and i was 12 when it first hit me. i am 27 now. didnt discover what was going on unti 2 years ago. 15 years in silence
Sadly for me I live in a place where there is no such terepist or Doctor who can help me .... I live in a place where no one knows or understand what is OCD..😭
You are an answer to prayer... I've been struggling with Harm OCD for a while... And I felt so alone but this reminds me that I'm not. Thank you thank you THANK YOU
Thank you very much for this video. Mine just started and I feel like I'm losing my mind when it happens because it's so intense. And I never thought that this would be me but thank you for reminding me that recovery is possible. I no longer feel as alone in the world
Alexander Valdivia me too. I just want to go back to these days when I didn’t even knew what it was and didn’t even know how all of these thoughts came. It completely brought me down. I also had social anxiety before these thoughts but when this kind of problem happened social anxiety didn’t even matter to me anymore cause these thoughts were so much scarier and I couldn’t stop worrying about them. I was crying everyday thinking I’m going insane. And was also scared of myself even I knew I wouldn’t do these things but still It was so shocking and painful to me. The more I thought about these thoughts the more they came and whenever I forget them after 5 minutes my brain is like: hey remember this thought? And then again it feels like my life completely crashed and I have no hope. The most painful thing to me the thoughts are about my loved ones. Everyday I have to deal with them when I wake up, in school, and the most at home. As much as I can I try myself to remember I am not my thoughts. I just hope I will get over these thoughts one day cause it’s completely ruining my life.
@@localdiaa I totally know what you mean! I had bad social anxiety before the thoughts started for me, but it’s definitely got to where I don’t even care about the things like that that used to worry me so much, because the harm ocd is obviously way worse. It will get better, though. My thoughts started back in 2018, and they were also mostly about harming my loved ones or my pets sometimes. This past summer I finally read up about ocd, because the thoughts just kept coming back, and I couldn’t live like that anymore. Anyway, I hope you’re doing better these days, and if you need someone to talk to about it, I’m here. :)
@@el.v.r hey, yes me too. My thoughts are also like harming your loved ones. And it breaks my heart. I feel even guilty to have them. I also have like intrusive thoughts with ocd. Which is harder. But I just remind myself that these thoughts are just my biggest fears. For example if your intrusive thoughts are about harming someone you love that means you really love them and you are scared to hurt them so then you have this anxiety. And the thoughts start: what if????? So my biggest fear is losing my mom ant they first started about her. So now you know these are your biggest fears and you don’t have to worry about it because your mind is playing with you. Actually people with intrusive thoughts are the nicest people. And your thoughts are not you. They are just the thoughts that’s in your head for 3 seconds but people who have anxiety gets scared of them and it gets stuck in their head for a long time. Try to remember that the thoughts are just messing with your head and the more you fear them the more they come. Just try not to give a damn about them. But I know it’s hard. Especially for beginners. Because everything is new to them and they still have the fear. But over time you grow and grow and learn about them and control them. I feel so much better that I’m not alone. I hope you’re doing better Elena. It’s important to me your story because a lot of people has the same experience and when they read it they feel so much better. I’m also here to talk to you , if you need any help don’t be afraid to message me. Here’s my instagram. It’s @deimantevitkauskaite. It’s important to help everyone to get trough this. ❤️
@@localdiaa Thank you so so much! This means so much to me. It definitely helps a lot to talk to someone who gets it and is going through it. I requested to follow you on Instagram as it would be nice to keep in touch :)
Its really is horrible. I have thoughts that I could be a psychopath or even a narcissist. When I'm having a conversation with someone, I'll go over the conversation to see if I showed signs of remorse and empathy. Then I'll get discouraged if I wasent being empathic enough or if I was forcing it because I'm so worried that I could develop into a serial killer. Also I'll read articles about being empathic to check to see if I am. It's really scary sometimes. I'll avoid murder/crime TV shows and articles. my thoughts will always connect me to that person who committed a unspeakable crime, that I am that kind of person. Ill pray and ask God to take these thoughts away and it will work for a short while but then they come back and thoughts of certain killers will be connected to everything I do. It really hurts to even type this and I feel embarrassed and crazy but people need to know this is real and really can affect everything a person does or says. If you have any advice please let me know. I'm still fighting this.
Oh my gosh. Literally everything you've said I can relate to exactly. I'm still struggling with the intrusive thoughts (and it's spiked lately hence why I'm here ^^') this is sort of advice/encouragement, but my brother told me lately that he'd prayed to God, and God told him to tell me to 'turn my eyes away to blood and gore'. Which is something I've already been practicing, but it does help and that confirmation was a blessing. God bless you in whatever place of mind you are now
@@chelzyramirez3663 edit: stay away FROM blood and gore my bad 😅 and thank you for your kind words. Grace and understanding is honestly one of if not my biggest emotional comforts. Keep on being kind ❤
Hearing these word literally had me sobbing. The idea that I'm not alone and this is NORMAL for people with ocd (or other anxiety disorders).. I can’t express how incredible freeing it is hearing that I’m not alone. For YEARS I’ve been afraid talking to ANYONE (including my psychologist and dr) and oooooofff this just made me sob. I’m so thankful for you sister, for sharing this. It’s so “taboo” to talk about which makes having this THAT MUCH WORSE!!!
Right? I've been in a low mental space lately (so the intrusive thoughts have resurfaced fiercely) but finding this video and channel.... On one hand i tremble watching this video cause I get real anxious when I ACTIVELY engage in discussion or info about this subject 😅 but more so its really comforting knowing that this IS a thing and other people struggle but also have learned to overcome it. Like i hope to do one day
Every since I was 9 I have had struggles with intrusive thoughts, anxiety, depression, and OCD. I never understood why I was the way I was up until I was around the ages 16-17 (now). I always knew something wasn't right because I knew that I never had a reason to think and feel the way I always do/did. It started small; I was in my bedroom at 9yrs old and I just randomly had the thought of "I wanna kill myself" just pop up in my head. And it just started to repeat. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't understand what it meant. I didn't know what suicide was. It only lasted like a day or so. I remember telling my dad I didn't feel good and that I couldn't eat. He would ask what was wrong with me and I would tell him "I don't know". I would lay in bed all day and just feel weird. Around the next day I forgot about it. I guess because I was young and it was easy for me to just distract my mind and forgot about it. Around the next year when I was 10 I had another thought just pop up in my head saying "I want to kill myself". I couldn't get it out of my head for the rest of the day. Next day came I was fine. I didn't really experience it again until I was between the ages 11-12. When it came back it worried me a lot more. I knew what suicide was. And the thoughts scared me so bad because I didn't know why I was having them. They just kept repeating in my head. I finally came out and told my mom. I remember we were sitting at the kitchen table and it was about dark time and I told her what I was thinking. She asked me why I was having those thoughts and I told her I don't know. I told her I didn't want to kill myself so I don't know why this is happening to me. She told me she was going to check me in with a therapist and explained to me that those are the people that help you get through those kind of problems. I went to 3 therapists within 3 years. The first one I only saw once. She was pregnant and left after seeing her. The second one I was I was the age of 12-13 when it all came back, and I saw her a few times before she switched places. Her and the first one both thought it was normal and just had something to do with "teen hormones". Back then when I had those issues all it took was for my mom or someone to tell me everything will be okay or to go see my therapist and be fine after that. I remember one time going through it for a bit and looking at my mom one day in the car smiling and saying.."mom I don't feel bad anymore". I went a long while without dealing with it. Again I guess it was because I was easily able to just distract my mind. I knew depression had something to do with being sad but I didn't fully understand it and I didn't know what OCD or anxiety was. When I was 14 it hit me bad again and wouldn't go away. My mom took me to see my regular doctor for a check up and asked to recommend me to a therapist before it was too late. I told her that the thoughts grew bigger into visions. This time I saw a male and I saw him for a while. I told him everything I could. Back think it was hard to explain how I felt. It was hard to explain how I felt in my body when I thought this stuff. So no one ever understood. I was opened to my friends about it. Some were experiencing the same thoughts. This therapists ran tests and said I came back negative for bipolar, but I came back positive for OCD. And I remember asking "what is OCD" and never really understood it. Came to find out my mother was also OCD. But hers was completely different. I also remember him mentioning anxiety. And I still didn't know what that was either. I did ask for my first two therapists to not give me medication...that that's the last thing I ever wanted...that I wanted to do it on my own. But when I came to this therapist I told him that I would do anything to just get better and to think normal again. He did deny me medication and said that he does think that I don't need. He wanted to try other methods. Of course being it was a long time ago and it wasn't as bad as it is now...people did see me as normal. Didn't think it was as serious. I quit seeing him because I moved back in with my dad right before I turned 15. I always knew something was wrong with me but I never understood what. I always knew I had no reason to want to kill myself. I just didn't understand why it kept coming back to me. I have not seen a therapist since I've moved back. It's been 3 years and the thoughts only progressed to bigger things. It got to the point to where I would be watching tv and I saw something about someone murdering someone or hearing about someone killing themselves or just something bad or violent, and my mind would vision me doing it, or my mind would think "what if". It would constantly repeat in my head for so long..maybe days to weeks to where it would make me believe that I really wanted to do that. I made me believe that that was the person I was gonna become. And I had nothing but anxiety just tear me up. I never really talked to my dad about it because my dad has never experienced any of this but he always told me that I was gonna be fine and it was all in my head. Now that I'm older I have pieced it together. And getting to the point to where I now understand it. It has became an everyday thing for me now. Even when I'm not in my mood where I'm constantly thinking about my thoughts, the thoughts are always still in the back of my head. I have points of everyday usually when I'm alone to where my mind would think intrusive thoughts and I would just have anxiety attacks. I just learned maybe a year ago what anxiety and OCD truly was. And I remembered what my last therapist said about my OCD. All my life I thoughts I was just depressed and didn't really wanna live. But now I know that all my life I was dealing with a disorder that was making me feel like that. I guess it got worse because I didn't get the help I really needed, but even though I go through so much hell everyday and everyday I feel like I won't get better or I doubt myself....deep down I do have hope. Even though these thoughts are literally stuck in my head, and everything just about triggers me...even the thoughts of me never getting better triggers me...I do believe I will recover one day. It takes time and help. If I could be this happy person who loves life and just always has a smile on her face..I would. Honestly. I didn't know that the feelings I was feeling when I was having all these thoughts when I was younger...was anxiety. The reason why I was losing sleep and my appetite was anxiety. I am scared of everything. I always see all this as fear. I don't think it because I want to...I think it because it's fear. And my OCD just makes it stick there. And causes my anxiety to go everywhere and my depression to just hit me leaving me feeling hopeless. I'm scared to take medication because I'm scared of it taking over my life and I'll never get to live a normal life or it making me worse. But I'm scared of not taking medication because I'm scared nothing else will work. I'm scared of what my future would be like living like this. I will say I have went all these years dealing with this, from 9 to 18 years old without harming myself or attempting anything. I've always tried to look forward to the future and believe that one day I will be normal and be able to cope with all this and function. Without any intrusive thoughts. Just having a clear mind. I am going back to another therapist soon, and I hope this work. I see a lot like me who said it never did but I hope that won't be like that for me. I just wanna be able to breathe again, no stress no anxiety no depression just being happy. That's all I want is to be happy. And I hope I get that someday.
I've had OCD since I was 13. I'm now gonna be 52. I barely got diagnosed at age 36. It is torture & debilitating. I too have the Pure O's. I tried to handle it myself until I couldn't. I was forced to find a psychologist. I did, but it took 3 tries before I found the right one. Then, he referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed the medication. It took a while for it to work but it was worth it. They say the best treatment is a combo of med & CBT. I still have bad thoughts here & there, but not as often & not as intense. And I kept a journal of my thoughts and therapy sessions so I could refer back to it later which I often have. I also bought books on OCD and learned all I could about how to deal with this. I hope this helps some of you. All you need is to take that first step; you'll be glad you did, though it will be tough at first, but you can do it...
I’m honestly in shock with this comment. Every day for the past five months, I have been trying to push through these thoughts. I’m going to see a therapist soon and I’m only 12. At the end of the day I’m always tired from pushing myself by thinking of these thoughts all day, it’s disturbing and exhausting. I have hope that one day I will be free! It keeps me up at night, to the point to where I cried from being overwhelmed.
to have these thoughts it must be so scary and upsetting especially when they are about loved ones! I hope some one with harm thoughts see this and feels a little bit better about themselves!
How to overcome agressive intrusive thought? 1. First, its not your mistake. Because I had and now I recovered from it 99%. 2. That aggressive thought strikes on your brain suddenly and you keep worry about it. Dont worry, this kind of worrying is dangerous. 3. Stop worrying about it. 4. Stop[distract] the agressive thought as soon as possible, please, otherwise you brain will become habituated to that negative thought, things will go more and more complex. 5. Do whatever you are just interested in. this is the best to way to distract yourself to comfortable feelings. 6. Quit Job, Quit School, Quit College, Quit anything just for the sake, you feel more comfortable thoughtfully. Do whatever you wish to do. 7. Get a Good sleep. 8. You can stop the thought only by putting another thought in to it. 9. Get a Girl friend, or boy friend, or even have some bad habit little bit just to get some new comfortable thought. 10. Thinking is a bad habit. Do think. Dont try to figure out anything. Dont question yourself. we have no questions, we only have happenings, right now. 11. Only intelligents will have aggressive intrusive thoughts, at the same time they can overcome it. 12. Do whatever you are comfortable with. Do not think, just sleep, fuck or have any interested action you know, Do try to figureout anything, You are sensitive, not sinful, must be a very very good person too. 13. I guess, not need to share your bad experience with your family. Just use internet, or remote friends. 14. Many people have intrusive thoughts, you're not the one. 15. Just go ahead, Engage in interested actions, never think. Most of the time, Most part of brain, is controlled by habits[repeated ones] habit automates our brain, so just dont think negative, delete the intrusive thoughts for any sake, its possible. Rarely you may get, just skip it, move forward optimistically. Getting rid of intrusive thought is very important than your Money, Job, and even close ones. 16. Dont blame anything or anybody for have this intrusive thought, dont try to connect things for making reason for your suffering, it strikes on you for reason you dont really know, dont figure out, dont scapegoat anybody, just go ahead brushing aside these thoughts. 17. Habituate possitive things. 18. Dont tell reasons for not able to stop intrusive thought. Its your life, you have to get out of it. Every single moment with negative agressive intrusive thought is dangerous. Just skip it. Just go ahead. All for the best.
Thank you so much! I have been battling for 2 years now and it’s terrifying. I’ve spent the past week shaking trying to overcome the thoughts getting bad (again) and I finally decided to research. Normally scared to research in case I find something which scares me more. But this is like a weight off my shoulders. I’m not crazy or the only one who gets these thoughts. All I wanted was to be able to relate to someone so honestly thank you!
thanks for being blunt about it rather than being super sensitive. these thoughts are horrible and i have lost sleep for 2 months and i have had this ocd for 10 years no meds :/ and finally i just got fed up and couldnt take it no more... so thanks for being open it helps
Thank you so much! I hope that you read this, because I wanted to tell you that I saw this video at the brink of my insanity and broke into tears, something I thought I would never do. Because I was so consumed in my intrusive thoughts that I thought I was liking them, which disgusted me. I was just now thinking that I should end it so that I wouldn't hurt anyone but this video kind of woke me up. I know I would never do such a thing, heck I'm the nicest person I know. But the intrusive thoughts seem so real. If anyone could comment, to start a discussion that would be really nice. I'm here for anyone thinking the same thing! Once again thank you! God bless! P.S I believe God heard my prayers through my panic attack about my intrusive thoughts and showed me this video, so God bless you!!😇
Wow, God brought you to my videos at just the right time! :) Thank you for telling me this. The moment you "wake up" from believing intrusive thoughts is a big one. I'm happy I could help with that! I'd strongly suggest you see a therapist who specializes in OCD treatment if you aren't seeing one already. It can be incredibly helpful in managing intrusive thoughts and the anxiety that comes from them. Blessings! :)
I love the conversation here. I was diagnosed a long time ago for minor OCD but it matured as I did. Videos like this definitely help me that triggers are just triggers. Not real and it's just good to smile and embrace that it is only a black dot on all of the good that I am.
So this is 4 A.M, I'm pannicking because of my harm OCD I had for 3 years now. And you somehow managed to chase the toughts away. When it happens again, I'l know someone else is going through the same pattern. You also have the same journey as I had with the harm OCD (hospital, not knowing if you are suicidal or not) the one I struggled the most with is wether or not I'm becoming crazy. So thank you.
Hey. I just wanted to say thank you SOOO much for having the courage to post this video. I had these type of thoughts for such a long time and it's so relieving to hear that I'm not alone. I had a hard time determining if I had anxiety, depression, or OCD, or all three. After watching this video I feel more knowledgeable on OCD, and I have piece of mind again.
Thank you so so so much. I've suffered from harm OCD for the past year. It's mostly about my pets. I'm in tears because you gave me some relief. I went to see a therapist who didn't even try to decipher what was going on. When I told her I was panicking, crying so much I couldn't think straight. All she did was refer me to a mental hospital without actually helping me. This is such a terrifying disorder and it hurts every day. I've done just about everything to avoid the thoughts. I don't like using sharp objects in the kitchen, I'm scared to bathe my pets. I even made my husband hide his gun. But anyway, thank you so much for posting this video. You've made me feel a little more like myself instead of what my mind tells me to be
Ocd was the one of the reasons i first started self harming :/ i was getting thoughts like: "if i don't cut that something bad will happen" and the fear that those thoughts created was so strong that i believed them and to this day i still struggle with these thoughts. These thoughts are extremely hard to control and really scary, and potentially really dangerous. these thoughts came around the time i was struggling a lot with depression and lead up to a suicide attempt because they was constant and it was like there was no escape from them and it was so overwhelming that i went to many extremes to try and make it go away. this isn't something i would wish on my worst enemy. to anybody who is struggling with these thoughts i'd say that don't suffer in silence its best to speak up, seek help and help yourself before its too late. really enjoyed the video it was really good :)
+Lydiisadinosaur I'm sorry that happened! That's so sad. :( I hope you can break free from those thoughts! You gave some great advice, too! Thanks for your comment!
I can relate to your story. And I to would never wish this on my worst enemy. What helps me a lot is to let the thought come in. And I just say to myself "This is an intrusive thought. Nothing more, nothing less." And just take a couple of deep breaths. I Let it pass, because the more I tried to control it, the more it popped up in my head. Just remember, these thoughts aren't you. And also, you're not alone. I hope this helps and I hope you're doing much better! :)
I too hate downtime. It always makes me think of hurting loved ones, but when thay happens, I pray to god, and have faith that he will help me. You are not alone!
Do these types of intrusive thoughts ever make you feel like you want to do something but you don’t and that just gives you even more anxiety please tell me because I am really freaked out
OMG! I was having a hard time as you read through those lists. In my thoughts I am always the person harming, like blending a baby bird I found, etc. Thank you for creating this series.
No problem, I'm glad you like it. I know hearing about obsessions can sometimes be triggering, but I include so many because I know there are people out there who need to hear they're not the only one with that thought! I'm glad you stuck with it though! Thanks for watching!
I know a friend who suffers from these types of thoughts and they've isolated them selves out of fear. It's encouraging to hear someone discuss this topic
Kali Alice I'm sorry about your friend. Hopefully she can find the courage to get help. OCD can be devastating to a person's life, the only thing that can really help is therapy and support from friends. Thanks for your comment.
Thank you for posting this.Alot of people think OCD is a cook thing and relate it to cleaning excessively .I get thoughts too but not about myself harming but about others harming and me witnessing it .I have OCD get relentless thoughts about someone killing baby in the womb ,someone euthansing a human being or animal in front of me ,and thoughts about rape too .OCD is a debilitating condition. It is not cool ,funny or something you can just get over ....
Thank you very much for posting this. This is a very difficult thing to go through and even though a magic wand can't fix this, you talking about your experience helps tremendously.
dang...well this explains a lot. this has happened a lot to me in the past for absolutely no freaking reason really and well this definitely helps me understand what the heck is going on with me. thanks for the help
Yesss!! Literally I feel like I'm such a bad person, and I always feel like I did something wrong or I'm going to! But I'm not, it makes me so anxious and sad. I need to talk to more people like me, and this video shows me I'm not bad!! Other people are just like me!! Thank you for this video. I'm afraid to tell my counselor things because I don't want them to send me to a loony bin !!!
You saved my life , i am crying right now because i am a 34 year old man that doesnt have the courage to drive among other issues but you have helped me breathe
+Juan Kent Stay strong! You can get through this. Try to get a therapist who specializes in OCD or a workbook if a therapist is not an option. OCD is torture, but it's beatable. And I don't think I saved your life. You're the one who came here, you're the one who is looking for help. Only you can save your own life. :) Stay strong.
I'm afraid of hurting other people and of other people seeing me as a psychopath. I thought my fascination with horror stories was a flaw and felt i needed to hide it for YEARS, but only recently found myself holing up in my room, literally writing essays to myself for hours about why I wasn't going to kill anyone and still thinking it was true and that I was losing my mind. I self-diagnosed when I found the wikipedia page for pure O, but knowing I would have to face being misinterpreted in order to get help gave me the worst anxiety of my life, I couldn't deal with it and I went to the ER. Having to suddenly explain this to my family and multiple doctors who clearly don't know this is OCD sure has made for an exciting week. I'm intensely grateful I found out about it before it majorly impacted my life, though. *sigh*
I have the same pure OCD fear. Alot of people don't know what it is. But it is very real. I'm sorry about your trip to the ER that sounds horrible. Know you are not alone I am going through the same thing.
Thank you for sharing this! We suffered HORRIBLE postpartum OCD with the birth of our daughter. We were too afraid to seek treatment because the intrusive thoughts were violent. We couldn’t risk CPS taking away our children because medical professionals don’t understand OCD and are predatory and prejudiced.
I've also experienced sometimes thoughts of fear whether other people would harm me - so I can identify with those! They aren't generally strong or prevalent, but I often think of them as my "paranoia thoughts", such as, someone pushing me off my bike as I cycle, or afraid of someone harming me in my sleep. As always, a great video :) a great series
i always felt like a bad person for watching horror films and does watching them mean we have a preoccupation with violence, I've been feeling really insecure about this and would love some reassurance ?
Thank you for your videos! I thought I was crazy but I know now that I'm not and I know that I'm not alone with this type of OCD, I still have a long way to go to completely overcome this but I know someday I will. You are helping people all over the world please continue to inspire and help others ❤️
Sis have you all experienced those thoughts ? I really am proud of you of sharing this video with us. Thank you sis for showing us that we are not alone struggling with this all. It is a never ending battle. Thank you sis for this video
+Tia And also, I kid you not, I put some sort of hard object in front of me while cutting food and stuff, so that I don't stab myself, even if I have the urge to. More like, self-harm OCD, but yea...
+Tia Thank you for sharing your experience! I have a video on my channel about self harm OCD if you want to check it out. & Whoa 100th comment! I never thought I'd get 100 comments on this video haha.
I always enjoy learning so much about OCD from you! I'm sure this will help others out there that have similar thoughts. They're no they're no alone and and this is associated with OCD. I'm sure this is such a scary thing to go through. Being honest I've had strange obtrusive thoughts that sometimes worry me but it's not a common occurrence. Thanks for speaking on this Kat!
So the really great news is that you can recover from this. I have, twice! The bad news is that it can and for me at least, does usually return. Even with the knowledge you picked up the first time, you can still get stuck. There are a few important things to note. When you are hearing advice about how to react to the thoughts, you have to remember, your OCD is going to trip you up in this process. You will think, I hope I am doing this right or you can start to wonder over and over if you used a compulsion, or if you are making enough progress. Yes, you will OCD about whether you are OCD’ing too much. DO NOT PUT PRESSURE ON YOURSELF DURING THIS TIME. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for failing. Its the best bit of advice I can give.
Hi I just found you when searching OCD survivors. I had my first really bad attack when I graduated from college. Didn't know what was going on with me and I swore I thought I was schizophrenic too. It take a while but I found a therapist to work with and read brain lock that helped a lot. I do get stuck a lot still with the rumination. I just wanted to say thanks for normalizing it and reminding me I'm not alone in this. 💗
i literally have lots of thoughts about hurting others by shooting them, i always get scared in first place because why tf would i even think about these things, i feel better now
that "the OCD harm thoughts tend to include things that people love" really fucked me up. I just realized a lot of things about my harm thoughts. Thank you so much
I have terrible ocd to begin with, I’ve developed so many types of it, but this is the WORST. I am always living in fear that I’m going to kill my family members. I was convinced I was a terrible person for a LONG time. But I wouldn’t do something like that clearly, or else I wouldn’t be scared of the thoughts. It’s still hard though, because I can’t live without my family and I’m scared one day my intrusive thoughts will take over.
I wish I could say I have the one with germs, at least your the victim here, I feel so crazy with it, I was the opposite of this, now I fear to even start watching horror movies again, that it means something or that it will trigger anything. I been trying not to hide objects like the compulsive part, because if I hide then it might seem ...do I want to do these things. My mind has been playing tricks on me, sometimes I'm scared if I'm getting urges or are these urges just heavy amounts of anxiety. I don't know how this OCD comes to people but I had it for the past year. I been in therapy doing CBT because I do not want to take pills, I already bad enough. I was wondering though if there is a cure? And why can't scanners detect mental illness? Is there group talks with this specific OCD in mind? If this is a mind trick that my brain is playing, then it's the biggest number it's done on me, where I was scared at night thinking I might do something, where I'm scared I will crack and will want to do these things. How do I go back to normal when nobody thinks like this.... I feel like I'm in a web that I can't get out of. I feel guilty that I even in this. I use to feel bad for normal problems like break ups or getting mad at a friend, now....this puts things in perspective.....those things are painful, but nothing is more scarier than losing your mind....losing your witt...if you don't have those...who are you?!
I have felt the same way. Your thoughts are not real , they are just thoughts. The OCD is very real though and can torture a person for years. I've been so scared about being a psychopath or worse but overtime I have recognized these are just fears. Your OCD will try to convince you in every possible way that you are crazy or unloving. It will rob your joy but I promise you, overtime you can recover. Be patient with yourself. Those thoughts are irrational fears. You are not alone ever I promise you.
God Bless you. And yes, these violent thoughts of harming myself or others started a few months ago for me. I ask myself "Is there something wrong with me? Am I evil? And I going to end up in the looney bin? Am I going to Hell because deep down I'm a bad person". Thank you.
Dear Shalom Thankyou so very much for speaking about your struggles and experiences with OCD I find that when I watch and listen to you speak it helps me so Thankyou. My name is Paul and I have OCD in many forms, I've suffered since I was a child I used to touch everything several times like counter tops in the kitchen, light switches the couch literally everything, I had germ OCD also, I couldn't walk over cracks in the pavement. My parents were not very nice to me growing up they used to bully me hit me and swear at me, my mother would call me a C#%T all the time from a young age right through my teenage years. I developed addiction to drink and drugs and self harmed ( cutting). I became a Christian and I thought all was well but then I developed religious OCD and my walk with Christ has been hurt by my own mind attacking me and stopping me from receiving Christ fully I don't know what to do, every day is a battle. I'm completely sober now for 4 and a half years so I guess it's all coming out now I'm not self medicating. I no longer speak to my parents which has helped a lot with my recovery. It seems that my life is run by OCD and intrusive inappropriate thoughts. I'm so angry at my parents for not supporting me instead they made fun of me when my OCD was bad. I'm sorry to unload like this. Kindest Regards Paul
I want to let you know you are not alone. I have had OCD thoughts since I was 9 about being gay, then when I was 16 about harming others, and then I've had religious OCD. I've never been diagnosed but I am experiencing these evil thought patterns that make you hate your mind and question your sanity. I'm sorry your parents haven't given you the support youve always needed. You deserve it. Remember these attacks are coming from the demons who take pleasure in seeing us suffering. It takes many years and day by day to fully heal. Remember God knows our minds far more then we ever could and he knows it's not our fault. He loves you more then you could ever imagine and his mercy surpasses to the ends of the earth. I know it's a battle, but please know you are not alone ever and you are not to blame for your intrusive thoughts.
@@shannonmoore4564 Thankyou so very much for your reply it has touched my heart. It's so hard to keep going most days but I know Jesus loves me and will hold me up. Well done for pushing forward Shannon and God bless you
I've recently been getting harm thoughts, mostly about me doing things to other people. And they are terrifying and have lead to me deciding if I ever think I would actually do them that if rather kill myself than hurt other people... They are terrible. But I have discovered recently that 3 other people I know have them too, and I will possibly be restarting therapy soon too. Its just comforting to know its not abnormal and to know why it happens
Rebekah Sweeney No problem. And you are never alone in anything, this planet has 7 billion people and that number is still growing. You are never alone in anything. Stay strong☺
IM SO SICK OF THIS I HAVE POCD FOR MONTHS AND THAT WAS FILLED WITH DEPRESSION AND SORROW AND NOW I AM BACK TO HARM OCD AND I AM IN CONSTANT ANXIETY AND I GET NIGHTMARES EACH NIGHT BECAUSE OF THE ANXIETY EVERYTHING IS HELL ON EARTH I CANT SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE TERRIBLE NIGHTMARES THAT IM GETTING EACH NIGHT, I CANT THINK BECAUSE OF HE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, I CANT DO ANYTHING PLEASE I NEED HELP IM 12.
+Glow I'm sorry you're hurting so much! I really encourage you to get professional help. Talk to your parents about seeing a therapist. That will get you on the road to a diagnosis and the proper therapy. I highly recommend seeing an OCD specialist, which you can find at iocdf.org/find-help. The best scientifically proven treatment for OCD is called "exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP)", and an OCD specialist should know it! It's part of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), that can help OCD but not as much without ERP. Another helpful therapy is Acceptance and Commitment therapy (ACT). If the IOCDF website doesn't have any professionals nearby, try googling one of those treatments to see if there's a therapist that practices this near you! I know it's scary to talk to your parents about this. I was where you are now. If it helps, I know quite a few people who have or had POCD, and now they're in recovery and thriving! They're barely bothered by OCD anymore, and able to live successful, happy lives! I know this can happen for you, too. For that to happen, though, we need to talk to someone. We need to reach out for help. As someone underage, you're going to have to go through the people who can get you help, your parents. You don't have to explain exactly what's going on, you don't have to tell them what your intrusive thoughts are about, just tell them you're really struggling in all the ways you told me, you need help, you think you have OCD, and would like to be a therapist. Something that vague is good enough! I really hope you can get the help you need and recover from this, you're not alone! Stay strong!
i have both the fear of harming ppl and other people harming me which both have intrusive thoughts, anxirty and fear tied to them.... I have felt so alone bc everytime I went to look for reassurance about the fear of people harming me I found nothing! i have always put it down to me being a paranoid irrational person but now I'm not sure if it's ocd or what! as a lil one I would feel intense fear of strangers harming me and it's really been that way forever and even now! it's embarrassing, terrifying and really stops me from doing everyday things and living my life.... everyday I'm caught up with so much fear about myself and others and it always comes back to harm...is the fear of being harmed part of ocd? I'm currently waiting to see people about this and am just in a very terrible place in my life.. Thanks to whoever reads this!!! btw I'm also diagnosed with ocd but I've just been so confused about the fear of being harmed
I'm not sure if I have harm OCD or not... but I'm glad I'm getting closer to figuring out what's wrong with me. As of recent my violent daydreams and thoughts have spiked for some reason. I'm not afraid I'll do them, but they make me hate myself. I'll probably talk with my Dr about it later, but thank you!
Ok so I have only watched two of your videos on OCD (I plan on watching all of them :)) but I am like almost crying because for the few months I have suspected I might be developing OCD, upon researching it, but now I think I might have had it for at least 5 years. Until now it was "Pure O" but I've recently been developing compulsions. I thought my obsessions were crazy and weird and psychopathic (I legitimately thought I was a psychopath for like a year) or schizophrenic (like you said) and since I have been researching it and thinking I have it I was just thinking I wanted to be special but you really just confirmed that I do indeed have OCD. I am afraid to tell my mom (I am a minor) but once I go back to therapy I will probably tell her. Ok enough of my rambling. I just wanted to say, thank you.
Thank you for your comment and watching my videos! I know it is a very emotional thing when you find out there's a name for your thoughts! And it's treatable! Definitely talk to your therapist about it and she can diagnose you and hopefully point you in the right direction. :)
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my TH-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
This help alot I'm praying to God that I can get through this. I never thought I would have intrusive thoughts I want that's thoughts to go away. but I feel alone I feel like no one goes through this but me :(
I know how that feels. I don't think anyone expects Intrusive thoughts. :/ But you're definitely not alone! There are many people who deal with intrusive thoughts about harm, including myself! You're not alone, stay strong!! & Keep praying, you can get through this!
i was recently finally diagnosed with harm ocd and i feel like a door was opened and closed all at once bur im glad someone finally is talking about it. i feel so guilty all the time
Hello I fall into this category of Harm OCD. While obsessions with diseases and spreading diseases to others were fierce, this has been the toughest to beat. I have a great life due to a lot of work, but it is still there.
I have yet to be properly diagnosed with anything. Some people think I have PTSD, some anxiety. I have self screened on multiple sites, and they say OCD is not likely in me, but I have been having these terrifying violent thoughts and (I have watched a lot of horror things in my day) they are often absolutely disgustingly gorey and wayyyy out there like they would be in something like American Horror Story. I had an awful dream last night about having to kill someone or be killed, and then that I was being framed for a gruesome murder (cutting a baby in half). It was all so graphic, I didnt understand why I was feeling like this, I woke up and the images and thoughts kept flashing into my mind and I kept wondering, "am I a bad person? Am I supposed to be a killer?" But I would never EVER actually want to do that. I thought about it so hard and did so much research that I ended up throwing up before eventually falling back asleep and having another bad dream. I dont want to be stuck like this, and I am so scared its the beginning signs of psychosis or schitzophrenia, but after the research, its pointing more towards severe anxiety :c
+Morgan Walcott Fear of psychosis is another common symptom of people with these types of OCD. Please talk to a therapist who knows how to treat anxiety ASAP! You can recover from this. Whether or not it's OCD, I'd strongly suggest looking on the International OCD Foundation's website: IOCDF.org/find-help. Because they know best how to treat obsessive thoughts and severe anxiety like this. The evidence based therapy for anxiety is called cognitive behavioral therapy. Specifically along side another type of CBT, exposure and response prevention, is important for OCD and severe anxiety. I know it's just starting up, but it's better getting help for it sooner rather than later. These fears, at least with OCD tend to get worse when just left alone. Think of it this way, getting help now will make it easier for you to deal with any future anxiety flare ups or bad dreams. :) Stay strong!
My harmful thoughts were quite the opposite. I feared i was the one being harmed! I remember fearing I'd start smoking and i could feel the sensations of it thoughout my body even though i didn't do anything. I cried and cried and wished for it to stop. I saw a video on youtube called Mr happy face which was just an animation made by someone about a smiley face that came to life and killed a boy and everyone in his family. It gave me nightmares as a kid and haunted me for so long i couldn't be around anything harmful which turned into my fear of horror movies now. I also had dreams of stabbing myself which i told my mom about and i was afraid to go to sleep. It hurt me so bad to think about, i didn't want to end my life at all. OCD is a scary thing, especially when you're not only worrying about yourself but also what others might do to you. I'd always fear my father abusing me when he is a good guy.
Intrusive thoughts make us want to believe were bad people when we are child of God. I do hate intrusive thoughts, but when I hear I'm dirty I tell that Jester I'm a child of God. I'm always thinking...... ok ok overthinking. I think about the uncertainty because I believe I need to know everything when God shares something with me or I see a vision. That's where I'm wrong... I have to remember there's season's and time's. I don't need to understand my foggy uncertainties because it probably isn't the season and time for God to show and tell me more about it. I'm not God or perfect so how can I know what's best for me right now. I shouldn't be worrying about something I have no control over.
I did research for an entire year and i Couldnt figure out why i was going insane. I thought i was a schizophrenic and it terrified me. I started crying from relief watching this.
I didn't know you had a channel!! So cool! I remember when I was about 8 I had a fear that I was going to kill my family in their sleep, on purpose. It was terrifying.
I think I have harm ocd. I don’t have it terrible but I am very scared of hurting my loved ones. For example, my baby cousin, she is so precious but I’m scared I’m going to hurt her. My mom told me to face my fears. I got really scared at one point of hurting her and she told be she knew I would never hurt her. So now my baby cousin is over for the weekend and I’m terrified of hurting her. I told her mother (my aunt) that when she was over to lock her doors because I was afraid I would hurt her. Deep down I KNOW I wouldn’t but I get terrible visions of me hurting her and my mind makes me think that I’m going to do it. It’s a very terrible thing to go through. It’s even making me avoid my cousin because I’m scared I will do something to her. I hate it. You don’t know how many times I’ve cried and had panic attacks over this..thinking I’m a terrible person..a physco...a crazy person a MURDERER. it’s crazy and terrible. I’m very young too. I cry almost every night and I’m scared to tell my therapist because I’m afraid she will think I’m crazy and put me in a mental hospital. Please I need advice.
Thoughts can be very scary. Trust me I've been there and have had similar thoughts to yours. It is I assure you normal. Your family knows you are not a threat. you know you don't want to do these things or you wouldve already done them. People don't just snap. Murders have intention and will do it. Don't avoid your cousin or it will get worse because you will tell yourself look im avoiding her becuase "I'm crazy", hold her, and once you do you will realize your anxiety will decrease and your fears were irrational. I can assure you people who want to murder do not have intense anxiety about hurting others. Just remember always you are not alone in this.
Be strong you are NOT a psycho you are a lovely person with bad thoughts and it's not your fault. I've had it too and it's come back just now but I won't let it beat me. You won't either. I promise you aren't a danger to anyone, in fact your anxiety proves the opposite. All the best in your recovery (you will get better) x
I too struggle with harm OCD. It has been really bad the past 6 months since I gave birth. I was in a dark place emotionally and I believe Satan took advantage of my instability with my hormones and threw this thought out at me and I took hold of it as my own. ERP has been of no use to me. I literally equate it (the thoughts) to feeling like I have a tumor growing on the outside of my body, they’re just there, and sucking life out of me. The thoughts were relentless in the beginning. It wasn’t an every once in a while type of thing but an every few minutes I was obsessing over these thoughts that I might harm someone or my child. I could take medicine but I worry that will only be like placing a band aid on a bullet wound. I have struggled with these thoughts in the past, I was free from them for 11 years before they came back. The only thing that took them away then was surrendering to Christ completely (read battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer) and something new to distract me (like a new job). I guess they have been harder this time around because I am home alone all day and in my thoughts. I truly believe the only reason I have made it this far is because Jesus has shown me compassion and helped me to be at peace when I needed it most. I am still at war. But in some weird way it helps me to know I am not alone in this. Thank you for making this video and for exposing what many people are too ashamed to admit. You are a light in the darkness.
I just got diagnosed with with ocd because I have violent harm thoughts and this video helped me realize that I am ok and not going to hurt anyone I thought I was going insane and I cry daily BECAUE of it
I suffer from harm thoughts but they are entirely about me being murdered or my daughter being murdered. The thoughts consume me. I carry 2 types of mace in case one doesn't work and a stun gun. I constantly research murder rates online and try to avoid the outside. I always fear being too nice or rude when lead someone to harm me. I have bars on my doors and alarms on my windows. It's awful. I am thankful to have found that I am not alone with this consuming fear.
Okay so my intrusive thoughts are not severe. I do get these flashes of violent pictures and I can't take my phone out at a height thinking I might throw it... but it isn't so bad that I cry or like it's not consistent. But it still bugs me, especially when I am anxious. so is it OCD?
I have harm OCD, but not in the 'traditional' violent manner. My harm OCD is to do with the contamination of others with bodily fluids. In my opinion , It is thoughts of harm but not violent as such.
Hi I have these and I try to talk to my mom about it and she tells me that if I keep on thinking these thoughts (which I cannot control at all) then they will eventually come true. This is obviously my biggest fear because I would rather kill myself than hurt anyone else but of course it just feels so real sometimes. When she tells me this its so bad it makes everything worse because then I believe her! :(
Hi Caroline! Your mom could not be more wrong about your intrusive thoughts. And it is very destructive for her to be saying those things. Does your mom know that intrusive thoughts are unwanted and pop in out of nowhere? I like to bring up intrusive thoughts we all get, like being in a high place and thinking "whoa, I could jump from here!" Or suddenly wondering if we could drive our car off the side of the road. Nobody wants to think those thoughts, but they come into pretty much every person's mind. According to Psychologists who study OCD, people with intrusive thoughts are HIGHLY unlikely to act out the thoughts. Perhaps you could print out an article or two on OCD or harm intrusive thoughts and show them to your mom. IOCDF.ORG has some great web pages on all types of OCD and related content. I'd get some for you right now, but I'm in bed trying to sleep! Plus, I know you're internet savvy because you know how to write TH-cam comments haha. :) Those would be my suggestions on how to help your mom understand intrusive thoughts a bit better. If you're in therapy, you could also have your therapist talk to her! It must feel horrible to have someone tell you your biggest fears, but I hope with some education your mom understands! If you need anything, let me know! :) Kat
+ShalomAleichem Hey thanks for replying! Yeah I am currently going to talk therapy and I've gotten my therapist to explain it to her so hopefully she is starting to understand more. The thing is that I start to associate myself to people who actually have acted out and done mass shootings or something and I think "OMG that person was supposedly very quiet and soft-spoken and so am I so I guess I really am gonna be evil". I would rather die than hurt anyone else but no amount of reassurance can calm me. Do you know what I mean/have you experienced something similar?
I hope she is too! And I know exactly what you mean! Relating yourself to actual events to "prove" your intrusive thoughts so common with harm intrusive thoughts. And reassurance not working is also common in OCD, if not required. :) I know it's the same for my OCD! That's why I've given up on reassurance, now when I get a thought I just accept it as a thought and am able to move on a lot faster than if I was repetitively reassuring myself. It really takes away power from OCD!
+ShalomAleichem yeah I think that reassuring is a compulsion which is why it doesn't work. Googling is another compulsion of mine and it really doesn't help & might even make it worse so I'm trying to stop. Thanks for making these videos I am sure you are helping so many people!!
i used to have intrusive thoughts about harming my child my god it was hell it was worst than hell , thank god i got treated .. it was the worst 2 years of my life , alcohol was the reason i was suffering
I am so scared my family is something they aren't. this thought comes back again and again.I feel surrounded like I can't get out. but what can't I get out?
i have thoughts of harming my son evryday and m'y husband i see even how to put the knife on him i live with this like 5years no one understand me my love for my baby has been lost like since he was 5months i need how i love him before
i have intrusive thoughts about hurting someone i love so much ive always hated myself, i used to have suicidal ideation and it never scared me, but now that im having thoughts about harming anyone other than myself is where my thoughts have crossed the line, i guess, because i believe everyone is more important than me. lmao....so ofc now that im having these thoughts it feeds on THAT.
I am too suffering terribly with this harm ocd, it all started after stopping the medication Wellbutrin.. I always have had ocd tendencies but mine used to just be about health.. now ever since stopping that medicine, I’ve gotten violent images, urges, and thoughts of harming my family. I’ve gotten to the point where I just want to give up. I have a child that means the world to me and these thoughts of harming him are making me sick to my stomach. I can’t live life like this anymore 😭😭 I love my family so much but I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid if I tell my therapist this, they’ll report me. Please help me
Hi. I also had this about few months back. and i am not goinf to therapist at this moment. i felt the same way like you do. First step maybe you can talk to your spouse about this . it will really help you a lot at least someone understand your condition. And i am not 100% recover too sometime i feel anxiety but i feel better than before. Remember that you are not alone and you are not your thought
I have thoughts of chokjng my dog all the time and it causes me to panic a lot...I dunno if its OCD or whatever it is...I just hate to live with it...mostly it comes at nught cuz its when Im alone in my room with my dog... I told one of my friends and she usually listens and accepts me for anything...but this was too far for her to handle as well as it is for me...
When I have violent thoughts, it was at first about my family, not about my friends or anything. Now they've moved to my own characters, fictional ones, or just violence in general. Am I weird?
smol strawberry We all do man, just know all people with OCD has NEVER did whats on their mind.I suffer from it as we speak, dont worry you know yourself
I am 9 and I have harm ocd of hurting myself and hurting someone I love I thought I was a phycopath and I realized that if I'm hurting from these thoughts don't mean I'm phycopath phycopaths would like the thoughts and they would do it but I haven't done it I was so scared of myself to the point I didn't wanna go near the kitchen were they were nifes because I was scared and then I stopped caring and stopped judging the thoughts and stopped trying to control them and they went away but they came back so I'm still fighting them but I aceept the fact that I will live with this its my new normal
I can say that OCD (Pure O) is hell on earth. And nobody deserves it. I battled it for years. I can proudly say I have overcome it, and i want to help those who are suffering from it now. My advice is as follows:
0. See a psychologist who is well aware of CBT and ERP that is cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure . You may at first ask them if they can administer this therapy for you. If you feel they are being Freudian and trying to pick your brain (like: How does this make you feel? Why do you think you have these thoughts?) know they are unqualified to help you, they can only make it worse. (I know from experience) CBT and ERP will be similar to the advice I have written below.
1. Take SSRI’s. These anti-depressants lessen your intrusive thoughts
2. Read about OCD and the OCD types of others. Mine was Harm Pure O and reading about the others in length helps understand what is going on.
3. Exercise everyday
4. Surround yourself with friends and family (don’t stay at home)
5. Meditation/prayer. Though if these are the cause of your OCD skip this advice. If not then try.
6. Try art/ crafts or reading
7. Finally and most importantly.... ERP... stand up to the dragon. The best form of overcoming your fear is to bring it on yourself. If you have a fear of stabbing someone don’t hide the knife but bring it out and label your thoughts as they come into your brain. Acknowledge that these thoughts have nothing to do with you, they are just chemical reactions. Example: if your brain says I am going to stab her, then instead of avoiding the thought say, repeat what you said. Strangely it works. Know they are not you who is speaking just the dragon. You are the brave knight.
I went through this myself and havent had a panic attack in over a year now. I havent been formally treated (SSRIs wont necessarily help unless you also have depression) but broke free of it myself. some passing thoughts remain sometimes but i dissasociate myself from them and they no longer scare me. but agreed it is hell on earth and i was 12 when it first hit me. i am 27 now. didnt discover what was going on unti 2 years ago. 15 years in silence
excellent advice terrific.
Sadly for me I live in a place where there is no such terepist or Doctor who can help me .... I live in a place where no one knows or understand what is OCD..😭
I been struggling with harm ocd.. Its all about harming my son.. I hope one day I can recover from this soon..
You are an answer to prayer... I've been struggling with Harm OCD for a while... And I felt so alone but this reminds me that I'm not. Thank you thank you THANK YOU
Yea you not alone dear. I have these thoughts CONSTANTLY even as of this comment. They are TORTURE.
hey give yourself some credit youre the one who looked this video up, god has enough credit.
I have been a victim of this for so long and I thought that I was a psychopath because of it but thanks to this video I feel a lot better thank you
I didn't know this was a part of OCD. I thought I was just a bad person for thinking things like this. Thank you for this video.
Me too i dont have ocd but my thoughts Making me Feel like am a bad person for thinking about Harmfull things that i dont wanna do it in real life
Thank you very much for this video. Mine just started and I feel like I'm losing my mind when it happens because it's so intense. And I never thought that this would be me but thank you for reminding me that recovery is possible. I no longer feel as alone in the world
it is not you. you are not going crazy! you will overcome this (was once in your shoes) :)
Alexander Valdivia me too. I just want to go back to these days when I didn’t even knew what it was and didn’t even know how all of these thoughts came. It completely brought me down. I also had social anxiety before these thoughts but when this kind of problem happened social anxiety didn’t even matter to me anymore cause these thoughts were so much scarier and I couldn’t stop worrying about them. I was crying everyday thinking I’m going insane. And was also scared of myself even I knew I wouldn’t do these things but still It was so shocking and painful to me. The more I thought about these thoughts the more they came and whenever I forget them after 5 minutes my brain is like: hey remember this thought? And then again it feels like my life completely crashed and I have no hope. The most painful thing to me the thoughts are about my loved ones. Everyday I have to deal with them when I wake up, in school, and the most at home. As much as I can I try myself to remember I am not my thoughts. I just hope I will get over these thoughts one day cause it’s completely ruining my life.
@@localdiaa I totally know what you mean! I had bad social anxiety before the thoughts started for me, but it’s definitely got to where I don’t even care about the things like that that used to worry me so much, because the harm ocd is obviously way worse. It will get better, though. My thoughts started back in 2018, and they were also mostly about harming my loved ones or my pets sometimes. This past summer I finally read up about ocd, because the thoughts just kept coming back, and I couldn’t live like that anymore. Anyway, I hope you’re doing better these days, and if you need someone to talk to about it, I’m here. :)
@@el.v.r hey, yes me too. My thoughts are also like harming your loved ones. And it breaks my heart. I feel even guilty to have them. I also have like intrusive thoughts with ocd. Which is harder. But I just remind myself that these thoughts are just my biggest fears. For example if your intrusive thoughts are about harming someone you love that means you really love them and you are scared to hurt them so then you have this anxiety. And the thoughts start: what if????? So my biggest fear is losing my mom ant they first started about her. So now you know these are your biggest fears and you don’t have to worry about it because your mind is playing with you. Actually people with intrusive thoughts are the nicest people. And your thoughts are not you. They are just the thoughts that’s in your head for 3 seconds but people who have anxiety gets scared of them and it gets stuck in their head for a long time. Try to remember that the thoughts are just messing with your head and the more you fear them the more they come. Just try not to give a damn about them. But I know it’s hard. Especially for beginners. Because everything is new to them and they still have the fear. But over time you grow and grow and learn about them and control them. I feel so much better that I’m not alone. I hope you’re doing better Elena. It’s important to me your story because a lot of people has the same experience and when they read it they feel so much better. I’m also here to talk to you , if you need any help don’t be afraid to message me. Here’s my instagram. It’s @deimantevitkauskaite. It’s important to help everyone to get trough this. ❤️
@@localdiaa Thank you so so much! This means so much to me. It definitely helps a lot to talk to someone who gets it and is going through it. I requested to follow you on Instagram as it would be nice to keep in touch :)
This is literally my brain. Thank you so much for being so open about this
Its really is horrible. I have thoughts that I could be a psychopath or even a narcissist. When I'm having a conversation with someone, I'll go over the conversation to see if I showed signs of remorse and empathy. Then I'll get discouraged if I wasent being empathic enough or if I was forcing it because I'm so worried that I could develop into a serial killer. Also I'll read articles about being empathic to check to see if I am. It's really scary sometimes. I'll avoid murder/crime TV shows and articles. my thoughts will always connect me to that person who committed a unspeakable crime, that I am that kind of person. Ill pray and ask God to take these thoughts away and it will work for a short while but then they come back and thoughts of certain killers will be connected to everything I do. It really hurts to even type this and I feel embarrassed and crazy but people need to know this is real and really can affect everything a person does or says. If you have any advice please let me know. I'm still fighting this.
How are you doing now?
Oh my gosh. Literally everything you've said I can relate to exactly. I'm still struggling with the intrusive thoughts (and it's spiked lately hence why I'm here ^^') this is sort of advice/encouragement, but my brother told me lately that he'd prayed to God, and God told him to tell me to 'turn my eyes away to blood and gore'. Which is something I've already been practicing, but it does help and that confirmation was a blessing. God bless you in whatever place of mind you are now
@@theoperaticone5663 stay away from that and just know the reason that you are even here are because you are the kindest soul ❤️
@@chelzyramirez3663 edit: stay away FROM blood and gore my bad 😅 and thank you for your kind words. Grace and understanding is honestly one of if not my biggest emotional comforts. Keep on being kind ❤
How are you?
Hearing these word literally had me sobbing. The idea that I'm not alone and this is NORMAL for people with ocd (or other anxiety disorders).. I can’t express how incredible freeing it is hearing that I’m not alone. For YEARS I’ve been afraid talking to ANYONE (including my psychologist and dr) and oooooofff this just made me sob. I’m so thankful for you sister, for sharing this. It’s so “taboo” to talk about which makes having this THAT MUCH WORSE!!!
Right? I've been in a low mental space lately (so the intrusive thoughts have resurfaced fiercely) but finding this video and channel.... On one hand i tremble watching this video cause I get real anxious when I ACTIVELY engage in discussion or info about this subject 😅 but more so its really comforting knowing that this IS a thing and other people struggle but also have learned to overcome it. Like i hope to do one day
Every since I was 9 I have had struggles with intrusive thoughts, anxiety, depression, and OCD. I never understood why I was the way I was up until I was around the ages 16-17 (now). I always knew something wasn't right because I knew that I never had a reason to think and feel the way I always do/did. It started small; I was in my bedroom at 9yrs old and I just randomly had the thought of "I wanna kill myself" just pop up in my head. And it just started to repeat. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't understand what it meant. I didn't know what suicide was. It only lasted like a day or so. I remember telling my dad I didn't feel good and that I couldn't eat. He would ask what was wrong with me and I would tell him "I don't know". I would lay in bed all day and just feel weird. Around the next day I forgot about it. I guess because I was young and it was easy for me to just distract my mind and forgot about it. Around the next year when I was 10 I had another thought just pop up in my head saying "I want to kill myself". I couldn't get it out of my head for the rest of the day. Next day came I was fine. I didn't really experience it again until I was between the ages 11-12. When it came back it worried me a lot more. I knew what suicide was. And the thoughts scared me so bad because I didn't know why I was having them. They just kept repeating in my head. I finally came out and told my mom. I remember we were sitting at the kitchen table and it was about dark time and I told her what I was thinking. She asked me why I was having those thoughts and I told her I don't know. I told her I didn't want to kill myself so I don't know why this is happening to me. She told me she was going to check me in with a therapist and explained to me that those are the people that help you get through those kind of problems. I went to 3 therapists within 3 years. The first one I only saw once. She was pregnant and left after seeing her. The second one I was I was the age of 12-13 when it all came back, and I saw her a few times before she switched places. Her and the first one both thought it was normal and just had something to do with "teen hormones". Back then when I had those issues all it took was for my mom or someone to tell me everything will be okay or to go see my therapist and be fine after that. I remember one time going through it for a bit and looking at my mom one day in the car smiling and saying.."mom I don't feel bad anymore". I went a long while without dealing with it. Again I guess it was because I was easily able to just distract my mind. I knew depression had something to do with being sad but I didn't fully understand it and I didn't know what OCD or anxiety was. When I was 14 it hit me bad again and wouldn't go away. My mom took me to see my regular doctor for a check up and asked to recommend me to a therapist before it was too late. I told her that the thoughts grew bigger into visions. This time I saw a male and I saw him for a while. I told him everything I could. Back think it was hard to explain how I felt. It was hard to explain how I felt in my body when I thought this stuff. So no one ever understood. I was opened to my friends about it. Some were experiencing the same thoughts. This therapists ran tests and said I came back negative for bipolar, but I came back positive for OCD. And I remember asking "what is OCD" and never really understood it. Came to find out my mother was also OCD. But hers was completely different. I also remember him mentioning anxiety. And I still didn't know what that was either. I did ask for my first two therapists to not give me medication...that that's the last thing I ever wanted...that I wanted to do it on my own. But when I came to this therapist I told him that I would do anything to just get better and to think normal again. He did deny me medication and said that he does think that I don't need. He wanted to try other methods. Of course being it was a long time ago and it wasn't as bad as it is now...people did see me as normal. Didn't think it was as serious. I quit seeing him because I moved back in with my dad right before I turned 15. I always knew something was wrong with me but I never understood what. I always knew I had no reason to want to kill myself. I just didn't understand why it kept coming back to me. I have not seen a therapist since I've moved back. It's been 3 years and the thoughts only progressed to bigger things. It got to the point to where I would be watching tv and I saw something about someone murdering someone or hearing about someone killing themselves or just something bad or violent, and my mind would vision me doing it, or my mind would think "what if". It would constantly repeat in my head for so long..maybe days to weeks to where it would make me believe that I really wanted to do that. I made me believe that that was the person I was gonna become. And I had nothing but anxiety just tear me up. I never really talked to my dad about it because my dad has never experienced any of this but he always told me that I was gonna be fine and it was all in my head. Now that I'm older I have pieced it together. And getting to the point to where I now understand it. It has became an everyday thing for me now. Even when I'm not in my mood where I'm constantly thinking about my thoughts, the thoughts are always still in the back of my head. I have points of everyday usually when I'm alone to where my mind would think intrusive thoughts and I would just have anxiety attacks. I just learned maybe a year ago what anxiety and OCD truly was. And I remembered what my last therapist said about my OCD. All my life I thoughts I was just depressed and didn't really wanna live. But now I know that all my life I was dealing with a disorder that was making me feel like that. I guess it got worse because I didn't get the help I really needed, but even though I go through so much hell everyday and everyday I feel like I won't get better or I doubt myself....deep down I do have hope. Even though these thoughts are literally stuck in my head, and everything just about triggers me...even the thoughts of me never getting better triggers me...I do believe I will recover one day. It takes time and help. If I could be this happy person who loves life and just always has a smile on her face..I would. Honestly. I didn't know that the feelings I was feeling when I was having all these thoughts when I was younger...was anxiety. The reason why I was losing sleep and my appetite was anxiety. I am scared of everything. I always see all this as fear. I don't think it because I want to...I think it because it's fear. And my OCD just makes it stick there. And causes my anxiety to go everywhere and my depression to just hit me leaving me feeling hopeless. I'm scared to take medication because I'm scared of it taking over my life and I'll never get to live a normal life or it making me worse. But I'm scared of not taking medication because I'm scared nothing else will work. I'm scared of what my future would be like living like this. I will say I have went all these years dealing with this, from 9 to 18 years old without harming myself or attempting anything. I've always tried to look forward to the future and believe that one day I will be normal and be able to cope with all this and function. Without any intrusive thoughts. Just having a clear mind. I am going back to another therapist soon, and I hope this work. I see a lot like me who said it never did but I hope that won't be like that for me. I just wanna be able to breathe again, no stress no anxiety no depression just being happy. That's all I want is to be happy. And I hope I get that someday.
Karrah Hill wow your story made me emotional. thank you for sharing
My 11 year old can't forget I don't now wats wrong
I know and believe the only one that can heal you is Jesus Christ!!!! He’s the only one that can heal anyone!!!🙏🏼
I've had OCD since I was 13. I'm now gonna be 52. I barely got diagnosed at age 36. It is torture & debilitating.
I too have the Pure O's. I tried to handle it myself until
I couldn't. I was forced to find a psychologist. I did, but it took 3 tries before I found the right one. Then, he referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed the medication. It took a while for it to work but it was worth it. They say the best treatment is a combo of med & CBT. I still have bad thoughts here & there, but not as often & not as intense. And I kept a journal of my thoughts and therapy sessions so I could refer back to it later which I often have. I also bought books on OCD and learned all I could about how to deal with this. I hope this helps some of you. All you need is to take that first step; you'll be glad you did, though it will be tough at first, but you can do it...
I’m honestly in shock with this comment. Every day for the past five months, I have been trying to push through these thoughts. I’m going to see a therapist soon and I’m only 12. At the end of the day I’m always tired from pushing myself by thinking of these thoughts all day, it’s disturbing and exhausting. I have hope that one day I will be free! It keeps me up at night, to the point to where I cried from being overwhelmed.
to have these thoughts it must be so scary and upsetting especially when they are about loved ones! I hope some one with harm thoughts see this and feels a little bit better about themselves!
your worth it Xox It definitely is! Thanks for your comment.
By the way, I replied to your message! Just want to make sure you got it. :)
yerp i got it :) was in the spam folder for som reason! but i found it
Oh good! :D
How to overcome agressive intrusive thought?
1. First, its not your mistake.
Because I had and now I recovered from it 99%.
2. That aggressive thought strikes
on your brain suddenly and you keep worry about it.
Dont worry, this kind of worrying is dangerous.
3. Stop worrying about it.
4. Stop[distract] the agressive thought as soon as possible, please,
otherwise you brain will become habituated to that negative thought,
things will go more and more complex.
5. Do whatever you are just interested in. this is the best to way to distract yourself
to comfortable feelings.
6. Quit Job, Quit School, Quit College, Quit anything
just for the sake, you feel more comfortable thoughtfully.
Do whatever you wish to do.
7. Get a Good sleep.
8. You can stop the thought only by putting another thought in to it.
9. Get a Girl friend, or boy friend, or even have some bad habit little bit
just to get some new comfortable thought.
10. Thinking is a bad habit. Do think. Dont try to figure out anything.
Dont question yourself. we have no questions, we only have happenings, right now.
11. Only intelligents will have aggressive intrusive thoughts,
at the same time they can overcome it.
12.
Do whatever you are comfortable with.
Do not think, just sleep, fuck or have any interested action you know,
Do try to figureout anything,
You are sensitive, not sinful, must be a very very good person too.
13. I guess, not need to share your bad experience with your family.
Just use internet, or remote friends.
14. Many people have intrusive thoughts, you're not the one.
15. Just go ahead, Engage in interested actions, never think.
Most of the time,
Most part of brain,
is controlled by habits[repeated ones]
habit automates our brain,
so just dont think negative,
delete the intrusive thoughts
for any sake, its possible.
Rarely you may get, just skip it, move forward optimistically.
Getting rid of intrusive thought is very important than your
Money, Job, and even close ones.
16. Dont blame anything or anybody for have this intrusive thought,
dont try to connect things for making reason for your suffering,
it strikes on you for reason you dont really know,
dont figure out, dont scapegoat anybody,
just go ahead brushing aside these thoughts.
17. Habituate possitive things.
18. Dont tell reasons for not able to stop intrusive thought.
Its your life, you have to get out of it.
Every single moment with negative agressive intrusive thought is dangerous.
Just skip it. Just go ahead. All for the best.
thank you for this 💕
Thank you so much! I have been battling for 2 years now and it’s terrifying. I’ve spent the past week shaking trying to overcome the thoughts getting bad (again) and I finally decided to research. Normally scared to research in case I find something which scares me more. But this is like a weight off my shoulders. I’m not crazy or the only one who gets these thoughts. All I wanted was to be able to relate to someone so honestly thank you!
I have harm OCD currently in the road to recovery
2018 was the worst year of my mental health life.
Ty for making this video
How are you now?
thanks for being blunt about it rather than being super sensitive. these thoughts are horrible and i have lost sleep for 2 months and i have had this ocd for 10 years no meds :/ and finally i just got fed up and couldnt take it no more... so thanks for being open it helps
Im to the point. How are the meds helping?
exposing myself to what I feared really really helped! it made it almost non existent. It only flares up when extremely stressed.
Thank you so much! I hope that you read this, because I wanted to tell you that I saw this video at the brink of my insanity and broke into tears, something I thought I would never do. Because I was so consumed in my intrusive thoughts that I thought I was liking them, which disgusted me. I was just now thinking that I should end it so that I wouldn't hurt anyone but this video kind of woke me up. I know I would never do such a thing, heck I'm the nicest person I know. But the intrusive thoughts seem so real. If anyone could comment, to start a discussion that would be really nice. I'm here for anyone thinking the same thing! Once again thank you! God bless! P.S I believe God heard my prayers through my panic attack about my intrusive thoughts and showed me this video, so God bless you!!😇
Wow, God brought you to my videos at just the right time! :) Thank you for telling me this. The moment you "wake up" from believing intrusive thoughts is a big one. I'm happy I could help with that!
I'd strongly suggest you see a therapist who specializes in OCD treatment if you aren't seeing one already. It can be incredibly helpful in managing intrusive thoughts and the anxiety that comes from them. Blessings! :)
Nayala 123 hi im having the same things and just the thought hurts me so much and tips
I love the conversation here. I was diagnosed a long time ago for minor OCD but it matured as I did. Videos like this definitely help me that triggers are just triggers. Not real and it's just good to smile and embrace that it is only a black dot on all of the good that I am.
like she said most people who have these thoughts are really nice people and that's why their so upsetting to the person
So this is 4 A.M, I'm pannicking because of my harm OCD I had for 3 years now. And you somehow managed to chase the toughts away. When it happens again, I'l know someone else is going through the same pattern. You also have the same journey as I had with the harm OCD (hospital, not knowing if you are suicidal or not) the one I struggled the most with is wether or not I'm becoming crazy. So thank you.
Hey. I just wanted to say thank you SOOO much for having the courage to post this video. I had these type of thoughts for such a long time and it's so relieving to hear that I'm not alone. I had a hard time determining if I had anxiety, depression, or OCD, or all three. After watching this video I feel more knowledgeable on OCD, and I have piece of mind again.
Thank you so so so much. I've suffered from harm OCD for the past year. It's mostly about my pets. I'm in tears because you gave me some relief. I went to see a therapist who didn't even try to decipher what was going on. When I told her I was panicking, crying so much I couldn't think straight. All she did was refer me to a mental hospital without actually helping me. This is such a terrifying disorder and it hurts every day. I've done just about everything to avoid the thoughts. I don't like using sharp objects in the kitchen, I'm scared to bathe my pets. I even made my husband hide his gun. But anyway, thank you so much for posting this video. You've made me feel a little more like myself instead of what my mind tells me to be
Ocd was the one of the reasons i first started self harming :/
i was getting thoughts like:
"if i don't cut that something bad will happen" and the fear that those thoughts created was so strong that i believed them and to this day i still struggle with these thoughts. These thoughts are extremely hard to control and really scary, and potentially really dangerous. these thoughts came around the time i was struggling a lot with depression and lead up to a suicide attempt because they was constant and it was like there was no escape from them and it was so overwhelming that i went to many extremes to try and make it go away. this isn't something i would wish on my worst enemy.
to anybody who is struggling with these thoughts i'd say that don't suffer in silence its best to speak up, seek help and help yourself before its too late.
really enjoyed the video it was really good :)
+Lydiisadinosaur I'm sorry that happened! That's so sad. :( I hope you can break free from those thoughts! You gave some great advice, too! Thanks for your comment!
ShalomAleichem not a problem x
I can relate to your story. And I to would never wish this on my worst enemy. What helps me a lot is to let the thought come in. And I just say to myself "This is an intrusive thought. Nothing more, nothing less." And just take a couple of deep breaths. I Let it pass, because the more I tried to control it, the more it popped up in my head. Just remember, these thoughts aren't you. And also, you're not alone. I hope this helps and I hope you're doing much better! :)
I have the obsessions where I'm being hurt too! you're not alone and I'm actually pretty sure it's a big part of OCD.
I too hate downtime. It always makes me think of hurting loved ones, but when thay happens, I pray to god, and have faith that he will help me. You are not alone!
That*
How are you now?
Do these types of intrusive thoughts ever make you feel like you want to do something but you don’t and that just gives you even more anxiety please tell me because I am really freaked out
OMG! I was having a hard time as you read through those lists. In my thoughts I am always the person harming, like blending a baby bird I found, etc. Thank you for creating this series.
No problem, I'm glad you like it. I know hearing about obsessions can sometimes be triggering, but I include so many because I know there are people out there who need to hear they're not the only one with that thought! I'm glad you stuck with it though! Thanks for watching!
I have these thoughts constantly
I know a friend who suffers from these types of thoughts and they've isolated them selves out of fear. It's encouraging to hear someone discuss this topic
Kali Alice I'm sorry about your friend. Hopefully she can find the courage to get help. OCD can be devastating to a person's life, the only thing that can really help is therapy and support from friends. Thanks for your comment.
Thank you for posting this.Alot of people think OCD is a cook thing and relate it to cleaning excessively .I get thoughts too but not about myself harming but about others harming and me witnessing it .I have OCD get relentless thoughts about someone killing baby in the womb ,someone euthansing a human being or animal in front of me ,and thoughts about rape too .OCD is a debilitating condition. It is not cool ,funny or something you can just get over ....
Thank you very much for posting this. This is a very difficult thing to go through and even though a magic wand can't fix this, you talking about your experience helps tremendously.
dang...well this explains a lot. this has happened a lot to me in the past for absolutely no freaking reason really and well this definitely helps me understand what the heck is going on with me. thanks for the help
you're channel is extremely helpful and I literally just started watching! Thank you for helping me and giving me hope
Thank you for letting me know! I'm so happy I can help and give you hope!
Yesss!! Literally I feel like I'm such a bad person, and I always feel like I did something wrong or I'm going to! But I'm not, it makes me so anxious and sad. I need to talk to more people like me, and this video shows me I'm not bad!! Other people are just like me!! Thank you for this video. I'm afraid to tell my counselor things because I don't want them to send me to a loony bin !!!
You saved my life , i am crying right now because i am a 34 year old man that doesnt have the courage to drive among other issues but you have helped me breathe
+Juan Kent Stay strong! You can get through this. Try to get a therapist who specializes in OCD or a workbook if a therapist is not an option. OCD is torture, but it's beatable. And I don't think I saved your life. You're the one who came here, you're the one who is looking for help. Only you can save your own life. :) Stay strong.
I'm afraid of hurting other people and of other people seeing me as a psychopath. I thought my fascination with horror stories was a flaw and felt i needed to hide it for YEARS, but only recently found myself holing up in my room, literally writing essays to myself for hours about why I wasn't going to kill anyone and still thinking it was true and that I was losing my mind. I self-diagnosed when I found the wikipedia page for pure O, but knowing I would have to face being misinterpreted in order to get help gave me the worst anxiety of my life, I couldn't deal with it and I went to the ER. Having to suddenly explain this to my family and multiple doctors who clearly don't know this is OCD sure has made for an exciting week. I'm intensely grateful I found out about it before it majorly impacted my life, though. *sigh*
I have the same pure OCD fear. Alot of people don't know what it is. But it is very real. I'm sorry about your trip to the ER that sounds horrible. Know you are not alone I am going through the same thing.
Thank you for sharing this! We suffered HORRIBLE postpartum OCD with the birth of our daughter. We were too afraid to seek treatment because the intrusive thoughts were violent. We couldn’t risk CPS taking away our children because medical professionals don’t understand OCD and are predatory and prejudiced.
five year later and this saved me before i sleep. thank you
ive been battling with these thoughts for years
How are you doing now?
I have ocd I didn’t know what to do I’m a Christian and I have thoughts about really bad things
I've also experienced sometimes thoughts of fear whether other people would harm me - so I can identify with those! They aren't generally strong or prevalent, but I often think of them as my "paranoia thoughts", such as, someone pushing me off my bike as I cycle, or afraid of someone harming me in my sleep.
As always, a great video :) a great series
Thanks! :)
i always felt like a bad person for watching horror films and does watching them mean we have a preoccupation with violence, I've been feeling really insecure about this and would love some reassurance ?
Thank you for your videos! I thought I was crazy but I know now that I'm not and I know that I'm not alone with this type of OCD, I still have a long way to go to completely overcome this but I know someday I will. You are helping people all over the world please continue to inspire and help others ❤️
Sis have you all experienced those thoughts ? I really am proud of you of sharing this video with us. Thank you sis for showing us that we are not alone struggling with this all. It is a never ending battle.
Thank you sis for this video
Oh god, I can relate to almost all of the things you said (Except 3-4). Thank you so much! PS: 100th comment!
+Tia And also, I kid you not, I put some sort of hard object in front of me while cutting food and stuff, so that I don't stab myself, even if I have the urge to. More like, self-harm OCD, but yea...
+Tia Thank you for sharing your experience! I have a video on my channel about self harm OCD if you want to check it out. & Whoa 100th comment! I never thought I'd get 100 comments on this video haha.
ShalomAleichem I already checked it out! I love all your vids! :D
I always enjoy learning so much about OCD from you!
I'm sure this will help others out there that have similar thoughts. They're no they're no alone and and this is associated with OCD. I'm sure this is such a scary thing to go through. Being honest I've had strange obtrusive thoughts that sometimes worry me but it's not a common occurrence. Thanks for speaking on this Kat!
highoffkai Thanks! Everyone gets intrusive thoughts sometimes. :)
So the really great news is that you can recover from this. I have, twice! The bad news is that it can and for me at least, does usually return. Even with the knowledge you picked up the first time, you can still get stuck. There are a few important things to note. When you are hearing advice about how to react to the thoughts, you have to remember, your OCD is going to trip you up in this process. You will think, I hope I am doing this right or you can start to wonder over and over if you used a compulsion, or if you are making enough progress. Yes, you will OCD about whether you are OCD’ing too much. DO NOT PUT PRESSURE ON YOURSELF DURING THIS TIME. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for failing. Its the best bit of advice I can give.
Hi I just found you when searching OCD survivors. I had my first really bad attack when I graduated from college. Didn't know what was going on with me and I swore I thought I was schizophrenic too. It take a while but I found a therapist to work with and read brain lock that helped a lot. I do get stuck a lot still with the rumination. I just wanted to say thanks for normalizing it and reminding me I'm not alone in this. 💗
i literally have lots of thoughts about hurting others by shooting them, i always get scared in first place because why tf would i even think about these things, i feel better now
Thank you thank you thank you for speaking out about this. It's very reassuring to me and probably a lot of other people.
It takes alot of courage to say this. I'm sure you have helped alot of people realize this.
that "the OCD harm thoughts tend to include things that people love" really fucked me up. I just realized a lot of things about my harm thoughts. Thank you so much
You, young lady, are an absolute star! Thank you so much.
I have terrible ocd to begin with, I’ve developed so many types of it, but this is the WORST. I am always living in fear that I’m going to kill my family members. I was convinced I was a terrible person for a LONG time. But I wouldn’t do something like that clearly, or else I wouldn’t be scared of the thoughts. It’s still hard though, because I can’t live without my family and I’m scared one day my intrusive thoughts will take over.
I wish I could say I have the one with germs, at least your the victim here, I feel so crazy with it, I was the opposite of this, now I fear to even start watching horror movies again, that it means something or that it will trigger anything. I been trying not to hide objects like the compulsive part, because if I hide then it might seem ...do I want to do these things. My mind has been playing tricks on me, sometimes I'm scared if I'm getting urges or are these urges just heavy amounts of anxiety. I don't know how this OCD comes to people but I had it for the past year. I been in therapy doing CBT because I do not want to take pills, I already bad enough. I was wondering though if there is a cure? And why can't scanners detect mental illness? Is there group talks with this specific OCD in mind? If this is a mind trick that my brain is playing, then it's the biggest number it's done on me, where I was scared at night thinking I might do something, where I'm scared I will crack and will want to do these things. How do I go back to normal when nobody thinks like this.... I feel like I'm in a web that I can't get out of. I feel guilty that I even in this. I use to feel bad for normal problems like break ups or getting mad at a friend, now....this puts things in perspective.....those things are painful, but nothing is more scarier than losing your mind....losing your witt...if you don't have those...who are you?!
I have felt the same way. Your thoughts are not real , they are just thoughts. The OCD is very real though and can torture a person for years. I've been so scared about being a psychopath or worse but overtime I have recognized these are just fears. Your OCD will try to convince you in every possible way that you are crazy or unloving. It will rob your joy but I promise you, overtime you can recover. Be patient with yourself. Those thoughts are irrational fears. You are not alone ever I promise you.
Thank you so much this has been a big struggle and I am very reassured about myself. 😊
God Bless you. And yes, these violent thoughts of harming myself or others started a few months ago for me. I ask myself "Is there something wrong with me? Am I evil? And I going to end up in the looney bin? Am I going to Hell because deep down I'm a bad person". Thank you.
Love you Kat!
Dear Shalom
Thankyou so very much for speaking about your struggles and experiences with OCD I find that when I watch and listen to you speak it helps me so Thankyou. My name is Paul and I have OCD in many forms, I've suffered since I was a child I used to touch everything several times like counter tops in the kitchen, light switches the couch literally everything, I had germ OCD also, I couldn't walk over cracks in the pavement. My parents were not very nice to me growing up they used to bully me hit me and swear at me, my mother would call me a C#%T all the time from a young age right through my teenage years. I developed addiction to drink and drugs and self harmed ( cutting). I became a Christian and I thought all was well but then I developed religious OCD and my walk with Christ has been hurt by my own mind attacking me and stopping me from receiving Christ fully I don't know what to do, every day is a battle. I'm completely sober now for 4 and a half years so I guess it's all coming out now I'm not self medicating. I no longer speak to my parents which has helped a lot with my recovery. It seems that my life is run by OCD and intrusive inappropriate thoughts. I'm so angry at my parents for not supporting me instead they made fun of me when my OCD was bad.
I'm sorry to unload like this.
Kindest Regards
Paul
I want to let you know you are not alone. I have had OCD thoughts since I was 9 about being gay, then when I was 16 about harming others, and then I've had religious OCD. I've never been diagnosed but I am experiencing these evil thought patterns that make you hate your mind and question your sanity. I'm sorry your parents haven't given you the support youve always needed. You deserve it. Remember these attacks are coming from the demons who take pleasure in seeing us suffering. It takes many years and day by day to fully heal. Remember God knows our minds far more then we ever could and he knows it's not our fault. He loves you more then you could ever imagine and his mercy surpasses to the ends of the earth. I know it's a battle, but please know you are not alone ever and you are not to blame for your intrusive thoughts.
@@shannonmoore4564 Thankyou so very much for your reply it has touched my heart. It's so hard to keep going most days but I know Jesus loves me and will hold me up. Well done for pushing forward Shannon and God bless you
I've recently been getting harm thoughts, mostly about me doing things to other people. And they are terrifying and have lead to me deciding if I ever think I would actually do them that if rather kill myself than hurt other people... They are terrible. But I have discovered recently that 3 other people I know have them too, and I will possibly be restarting therapy soon too. Its just comforting to know its not abnormal and to know why it happens
Abby Oh my gosh I relate to this SO SO MUCH!!!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with it too...:/ But yes, thank you for showing me I'm not alone
Rebekah Sweeney No problem. And you are never alone in anything, this planet has 7 billion people and that number is still growing. You are never alone in anything. Stay strong☺
Abby Thank you sweet girl. You too!!!
IM SO SICK OF THIS I HAVE POCD FOR MONTHS AND THAT WAS FILLED WITH DEPRESSION AND SORROW AND NOW I AM BACK TO HARM OCD AND I AM IN CONSTANT ANXIETY AND I GET NIGHTMARES EACH NIGHT BECAUSE OF THE ANXIETY EVERYTHING IS HELL ON EARTH I CANT SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE TERRIBLE NIGHTMARES THAT IM GETTING EACH NIGHT, I CANT THINK BECAUSE OF HE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, I CANT DO ANYTHING PLEASE I NEED HELP IM 12.
+Glow I'm sorry you're hurting so much! I really encourage you to get professional help. Talk to your parents about seeing a therapist. That will get you on the road to a diagnosis and the proper therapy. I highly recommend seeing an OCD specialist, which you can find at iocdf.org/find-help. The best scientifically proven treatment for OCD is called "exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP)", and an OCD specialist should know it! It's part of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), that can help OCD but not as much without ERP. Another helpful therapy is Acceptance and Commitment therapy (ACT). If the IOCDF website doesn't have any professionals nearby, try googling one of those treatments to see if there's a therapist that practices this near you!
I know it's scary to talk to your parents about this. I was where you are now. If it helps, I know quite a few people who have or had POCD, and now they're in recovery and thriving! They're barely bothered by OCD anymore, and able to live successful, happy lives! I know this can happen for you, too. For that to happen, though, we need to talk to someone. We need to reach out for help. As someone underage, you're going to have to go through the people who can get you help, your parents. You don't have to explain exactly what's going on, you don't have to tell them what your intrusive thoughts are about, just tell them you're really struggling in all the ways you told me, you need help, you think you have OCD, and would like to be a therapist. Something that vague is good enough!
I really hope you can get the help you need and recover from this, you're not alone! Stay strong!
I watched ur vids before and they really help thanks!
i have both the fear of harming ppl and other people harming me which both have intrusive thoughts, anxirty and fear tied to them.... I have felt so alone bc everytime I went to look for reassurance about the fear of people harming me I found nothing! i have always put it down to me being a paranoid irrational person but now I'm not sure if it's ocd or what! as a lil one I would feel intense fear of strangers harming me and it's really been that way forever and even now! it's embarrassing, terrifying and really stops me from doing everyday things and living my life.... everyday I'm caught up with so much fear about myself and others and it always comes back to harm...is the fear of being harmed part of ocd? I'm currently waiting to see people about this and am just in a very terrible place in my life.. Thanks to whoever reads this!!! btw I'm also diagnosed with ocd but I've just been so confused about the fear of being harmed
I'm not sure if I have harm OCD or not... but I'm glad I'm getting closer to figuring out what's wrong with me. As of recent my violent daydreams and thoughts have spiked for some reason. I'm not afraid I'll do them, but they make me hate myself. I'll probably talk with my Dr about it later, but thank you!
Ok so I have only watched two of your videos on OCD (I plan on watching all of them :)) but I am like almost crying because for the few months I have suspected I might be developing OCD, upon researching it, but now I think I might have had it for at least 5 years. Until now it was "Pure O" but I've recently been developing compulsions. I thought my obsessions were crazy and weird and psychopathic (I legitimately thought I was a psychopath for like a year) or schizophrenic (like you said) and since I have been researching it and thinking I have it I was just thinking I wanted to be special but you really just confirmed that I do indeed have OCD. I am afraid to tell my mom (I am a minor) but once I go back to therapy I will probably tell her. Ok enough of my rambling. I just wanted to say, thank you.
Thank you for your comment and watching my videos! I know it is a very emotional thing when you find out there's a name for your thoughts! And it's treatable! Definitely talk to your therapist about it and she can diagnose you and hopefully point you in the right direction. :)
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my TH-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
This help alot I'm praying to God that I can get through this. I never thought I would have intrusive thoughts I want that's thoughts to go away. but I feel alone I feel like no one goes through this but me :(
I know how that feels. I don't think anyone expects Intrusive thoughts. :/ But you're definitely not alone! There are many people who deal with intrusive thoughts about harm, including myself! You're not alone, stay strong!! & Keep praying, you can get through this!
i was recently finally diagnosed with harm ocd and i feel like a door was opened and closed all at once bur im glad someone finally is talking about it. i feel so guilty all the time
You are so amazing ! Thank you for your helpful videos 😊
That peach color looks sooo good on her
Well i didnt thought about it till now you gave me this thought!
Hello I fall into this category of Harm OCD. While obsessions with diseases and spreading diseases to others were fierce, this has been the toughest to beat. I have a great life due to a lot of work, but it is still there.
Thanks for helping us out we really appreciate you
I have yet to be properly diagnosed with anything. Some people think I have PTSD, some anxiety. I have self screened on multiple sites, and they say OCD is not likely in me, but I have been having these terrifying violent thoughts and (I have watched a lot of horror things in my day) they are often absolutely disgustingly gorey and wayyyy out there like they would be in something like American Horror Story. I had an awful dream last night about having to kill someone or be killed, and then that I was being framed for a gruesome murder (cutting a baby in half). It was all so graphic, I didnt understand why I was feeling like this, I woke up and the images and thoughts kept flashing into my mind and I kept wondering, "am I a bad person? Am I supposed to be a killer?" But I would never EVER actually want to do that. I thought about it so hard and did so much research that I ended up throwing up before eventually falling back asleep and having another bad dream. I dont want to be stuck like this, and I am so scared its the beginning signs of psychosis or schitzophrenia, but after the research, its pointing more towards severe anxiety :c
+Morgan Walcott Fear of psychosis is another common symptom of people with these types of OCD. Please talk to a therapist who knows how to treat anxiety ASAP! You can recover from this. Whether or not it's OCD, I'd strongly suggest looking on the International OCD Foundation's website: IOCDF.org/find-help. Because they know best how to treat obsessive thoughts and severe anxiety like this. The evidence based therapy for anxiety is called cognitive behavioral therapy. Specifically along side another type of CBT, exposure and response prevention, is important for OCD and severe anxiety.
I know it's just starting up, but it's better getting help for it sooner rather than later. These fears, at least with OCD tend to get worse when just left alone. Think of it this way, getting help now will make it easier for you to deal with any future anxiety flare ups or bad dreams. :)
Stay strong!
My harmful thoughts were quite the opposite. I feared i was the one being harmed! I remember fearing I'd start smoking and i could feel the sensations of it thoughout my body even though i didn't do anything. I cried and cried and wished for it to stop. I saw a video on youtube called Mr happy face which was just an animation made by someone about a smiley face that came to life and killed a boy and everyone in his family. It gave me nightmares as a kid and haunted me for so long i couldn't be around anything harmful which turned into my fear of horror movies now. I also had dreams of stabbing myself which i told my mom about and i was afraid to go to sleep. It hurt me so bad to think about, i didn't want to end my life at all. OCD is a scary thing, especially when you're not only worrying about yourself but also what others might do to you. I'd always fear my father abusing me when he is a good guy.
Intrusive thoughts make us want to believe were bad people when we are child of God. I do hate intrusive thoughts, but when I hear I'm dirty I tell that Jester I'm a child of God. I'm always thinking...... ok ok overthinking. I think about the uncertainty because I believe I need to know everything when God shares something with me or I see a vision. That's where I'm wrong... I have to remember there's season's and time's. I don't need to understand my foggy uncertainties because it probably isn't the season and time for God to show and tell me more about it. I'm not God or perfect so how can I know what's best for me right now. I shouldn't be worrying about something I have no control over.
I did research for an entire year and i Couldnt figure out why i was going insane. I thought i was a schizophrenic and it terrified me. I started crying from relief watching this.
I didn't know you had a channel!! So cool! I remember when I was about 8 I had a fear that I was going to kill my family in their sleep, on purpose. It was terrifying.
SiffaScary Yep, I do! I make videos once a week. :) & That sounds terrifying! I'm sorry you had to go through that!
SiffaScary Yep, I do! I make videos once a week. :) & That sounds terrifying! I'm sorry you had to go through that!
I really can't control my thoughts, my mind has a mind with a mind of its own.
I too suffer from harm OCD it's terrible
HeY iTsGiGgLeS I suffer from this. I wouldn't wish this on my worst of enemies.
@@chadfreshkidd5728 Same it is a damn horror. I wouldn't want any one to have OCD.
Thankyou for this vid, really helps
+Blead1 Anytime! I'm so glad it was helpful! :)
I think I have harm ocd. I don’t have it terrible but I am very scared of hurting my loved ones. For example, my baby cousin, she is so precious but I’m scared I’m going to hurt her. My mom told me to face my fears. I got really scared at one point of hurting her and she told be she knew I would never hurt her. So now my baby cousin is over for the weekend and I’m terrified of hurting her. I told her mother (my aunt) that when she was over to lock her doors because I was afraid I would hurt her. Deep down I KNOW I wouldn’t but I get terrible visions of me hurting her and my mind makes me think that I’m going to do it. It’s a very terrible thing to go through. It’s even making me avoid my cousin because I’m scared I will do something to her. I hate it. You don’t know how many times I’ve cried and had panic attacks over this..thinking I’m a terrible person..a physco...a crazy person a MURDERER. it’s crazy and terrible. I’m very young too. I cry almost every night and I’m scared to tell my therapist because I’m afraid she will think I’m crazy and put me in a mental hospital. Please I need advice.
Thoughts can be very scary. Trust me I've been there and have had similar thoughts to yours. It is I assure you normal. Your family knows you are not a threat. you know you don't want to do these things or you wouldve already done them. People don't just snap. Murders have intention and will do it. Don't avoid your cousin or it will get worse because you will tell yourself look im avoiding her becuase "I'm crazy", hold her, and once you do you will realize your anxiety will decrease and your fears were irrational. I can assure you people who want to murder do not have intense anxiety about hurting others. Just remember always you are not alone in this.
Be strong you are NOT a psycho you are a lovely person with bad thoughts and it's not your fault. I've had it too and it's come back just now but I won't let it beat me. You won't either. I promise you aren't a danger to anyone, in fact your anxiety proves the opposite. All the best in your recovery (you will get better) x
I too struggle with harm OCD. It has been really bad the past 6 months since I gave birth. I was in a dark place emotionally and I believe Satan took advantage of my instability with my hormones and threw this thought out at me and I took hold of it as my own. ERP has been of no use to me. I literally equate it (the thoughts) to feeling like I have a tumor growing on the outside of my body, they’re just there, and sucking life out of me. The thoughts were relentless in the beginning. It wasn’t an every once in a while type of thing but an every few minutes I was obsessing over these thoughts that I might harm someone or my child. I could take medicine but I worry that will only be like placing a band aid on a bullet wound. I have struggled with these thoughts in the past, I was free from them for 11 years before they came back. The only thing that took them away then was surrendering to Christ completely (read battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer) and something new to distract me (like a new job). I guess they have been harder this time around because I am home alone all day and in my thoughts. I truly believe the only reason I have made it this far is because Jesus has shown me compassion and helped me to be at peace when I needed it most. I am still at war. But in some weird way it helps me to know I am not alone in this. Thank you for making this video and for exposing what many people are too ashamed to admit. You are a light in the darkness.
How are you doing now? Mine went away for 15yrs and now back worse than ever
I just got diagnosed with with ocd because I have violent harm thoughts and this video helped me realize that I am ok and not going to hurt anyone I thought I was going insane and I cry daily BECAUE of it
Big thumbs up ! Page seems like Heaven x
Thank you for this video i feel relieved now that i know iam not alone
I suffer from harm thoughts but they are entirely about me being murdered or my daughter being murdered. The thoughts consume me. I carry 2 types of mace in case one doesn't work and a stun gun. I constantly research murder rates online and try to avoid the outside. I always fear being too nice or rude when lead someone to harm me. I have bars on my doors and alarms on my windows. It's awful. I am thankful to have found that I am not alone with this consuming fear.
These are fucking horrible. I literally had thoughts about hurting my little brothers. Like WHY?! It’s fucking scary as hell.
Okay so my intrusive thoughts are not severe. I do get these flashes of violent pictures and I can't take my phone out at a height thinking I might throw it... but it isn't so bad that I cry or like it's not consistent. But it still bugs me, especially when I am anxious. so is it OCD?
I have harm OCD, but not in the 'traditional' violent manner. My harm OCD is to do with the contamination of others with bodily fluids. In my opinion , It is thoughts of harm but not violent as such.
Hi
I have these and I try to talk to my mom about it and she tells me that if I keep on thinking these thoughts (which I cannot control at all) then they will eventually come true. This is obviously my biggest fear because I would rather kill myself than hurt anyone else but of course it just feels so real sometimes. When she tells me this its so bad it makes everything worse because then I believe her! :(
Hi Caroline!
Your mom could not be more wrong about your intrusive thoughts. And it is very destructive for her to be saying those things. Does your mom know that intrusive thoughts are unwanted and pop in out of nowhere? I like to bring up intrusive thoughts we all get, like being in a high place and thinking "whoa, I could jump from here!" Or suddenly wondering if we could drive our car off the side of the road. Nobody wants to think those thoughts, but they come into pretty much every person's mind. According to Psychologists who study OCD, people with intrusive thoughts are HIGHLY unlikely to act out the thoughts. Perhaps you could print out an article or two on OCD or harm intrusive thoughts and show them to your mom. IOCDF.ORG has some great web pages on all types of OCD and related content. I'd get some for you right now, but I'm in bed trying to sleep! Plus, I know you're internet savvy because you know how to write TH-cam comments haha. :) Those would be my suggestions on how to help your mom understand intrusive thoughts a bit better. If you're in therapy, you could also have your therapist talk to her! It must feel horrible to have someone tell you your biggest fears, but I hope with some education your mom understands!
If you need anything, let me know! :)
Kat
Oops, just realized I wrote Caroline instead of Carolina. My bad! I blame it on my tiredness.
+ShalomAleichem Hey thanks for replying!
Yeah I am currently going to talk therapy and I've gotten my therapist to explain it to her so hopefully she is starting to understand more.
The thing is that I start to associate myself to people who actually have acted out and done mass shootings or something and I think "OMG that person was supposedly very quiet and soft-spoken and so am I so I guess I really am gonna be evil". I would rather die than hurt anyone else but no amount of reassurance can calm me. Do you know what I mean/have you experienced something similar?
I hope she is too! And I know exactly what you mean! Relating yourself to actual events to "prove" your intrusive thoughts so common with harm intrusive thoughts. And reassurance not working is also common in OCD, if not required. :) I know it's the same for my OCD! That's why I've given up on reassurance, now when I get a thought I just accept it as a thought and am able to move on a lot faster than if I was repetitively reassuring myself. It really takes away power from OCD!
+ShalomAleichem yeah I think that reassuring is a compulsion which is why it doesn't work. Googling is another compulsion of mine and it really doesn't help & might even make it worse so I'm trying to stop.
Thanks for making these videos I am sure you are helping so many people!!
i used to have intrusive thoughts about harming my child my god it was hell it was worst than hell , thank god i got treated .. it was the worst 2 years of my life , alcohol was the reason i was suffering
I am so scared my family is something they aren't. this thought comes back again and again.I feel surrounded like I can't get out. but what can't I get out?
i have thoughts of harming my son evryday and m'y husband i see even how to put the knife on him i live with this like 5years no one understand me my love for my baby has been lost like since he was 5months i need how i love him before
Thank you. This is a relief for sure :-)
i have intrusive thoughts about hurting someone i love so much
ive always hated myself, i used to have suicidal ideation and it never scared me,
but now that im having thoughts about harming anyone other than myself
is where my thoughts have crossed the line, i guess, because i believe everyone
is more important than me. lmao....so ofc now that im having these thoughts it feeds on THAT.
I am too suffering terribly with this harm ocd, it all started after stopping the medication Wellbutrin.. I always have had ocd tendencies but mine used to just be about health.. now ever since stopping that medicine, I’ve gotten violent images, urges, and thoughts of harming my family. I’ve gotten to the point where I just want to give up. I have a child that means the world to me and these thoughts of harming him are making me sick to my stomach. I can’t live life like this anymore 😭😭 I love my family so much but I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid if I tell my therapist this, they’ll report me. Please help me
Hi. I also had this about few months back. and i am not goinf to therapist at this moment. i felt the same way like you do. First step maybe you can talk to your spouse about this . it will really help you a lot at least someone understand your condition. And i am not 100% recover too sometime i feel anxiety but i feel better than before. Remember that you are not alone and you are not your thought
Mine started after taking Zoloft 15yrs ago and now it’s worse than it’s ever been. How are you doing?
Can harm OCD also be that you fear you will be rude or mean to someone because of your anxiety??
I have thoughts of chokjng my dog all the time and it causes me to panic a lot...I dunno if its OCD or whatever it is...I just hate to live with it...mostly it comes at nught cuz its when Im alone in my room with my dog... I told one of my friends and she usually listens and accepts me for anything...but this was too far for her to handle as well as it is for me...
When I have violent thoughts, it was at first about my family, not about my friends or anything. Now they've moved to my own characters, fictional ones, or just violence in general. Am I weird?
Nope its OCD
I hate it so much-
smol strawberry We all do man, just know all people with OCD has NEVER did whats on their mind.I suffer from it as we speak, dont worry you know yourself
Good, good. Although it's a bit weird that it's random images of violence or when I'm imagining a scene there's random weapons-
smol strawberry Yeah Feel better man OCD is a bitch, just live your life.
I am 9 and I have harm ocd of hurting myself and hurting someone I love I thought I was a phycopath and I realized that if I'm hurting from these thoughts don't mean I'm phycopath phycopaths would like the thoughts and they would do it but I haven't done it I was so scared of myself to the point I didn't wanna go near the kitchen were they were nifes because I was scared and then I stopped caring and stopped judging the thoughts and stopped trying to control them and they went away but they came back so I'm still fighting them but I aceept the fact that I will live with this its my new normal
Do ocd have all intrusive thoughts like homosexuality incest,fear??? Cause i have all of them