My mom found that she had to supplement her breast milk with formula for me because she simply didn’t produce enough and she got quite a bit of backlash and her response was just ‘well whose baby is it?’
I had this same problem with my twins and I was so utterly stressed that they were hungry, I'm so glad that you talked about this topic cuz until this day I wondered if I didn't try hard enough and felt like this shadow of failure over me, thanks
My friend has thyroid issues that caused her to not lactate nearly enough. She tried everything to the point that it was causing her severe anxiety. She would spend hours trying to pump/ breastfeed. She tried for MONTHS including working with specialists and physicians. So please do not ever tell me that women should just be able to breastfeed. It is such a toxic stigma that places such a horrible expectation on mothers.
I breastfed my first daughter for over a year, I breastfed my second daughter for 5 months. I had some kind of hormone issue that dried up my milk completely over the course of a few days. I legitimately think I was traumatized by it and I just found out I was pregnant about 18 hours ago, and I already know I do not want to go through that pain again, and will either pump and bottle feed or exclusively formula feed. I need to protect myself just as much as my baby.
@@katarinamonaco5300 I had the same problem!!! It was so bad I was going to quit all together. I took to the internet and found the simplest solution. The pain for me was from my nipples rubbing on the pump pieces. The site I was reading said to use a little olive oil on the nipple so the friction was lubricated. It took about a week for the worst of the pain to go away, but after that every time I pumped I just used a little olive oil and bam. We've been successful ever since
This reminded me of when people said to me before giving birth “you’re not getting an epidural are you? A real woman doesn’t need epidural” and usually this was men saying this. Bitch what? My vag, my rules. (I most certainly did get an epidural).
I wish I had epidural. I was in so much pain. And breastfeeding is a choice. And I respect all. But when I gave birth I screamed at the doctor 'I want c-section'. My ex tried to call my name and hold my hand. And I just yelled at him 'shut up! Don't touch me!'
I get the opposite reaction. Alot of people tell me when I go in to give birth I will get the epidural. Nurses actually do bets to see how far a woman will dilate before changing their minds and get one instead of going natural
Mothers are expected to breastfeed, work, have a healthy diet, dont get enough sleep, have the house on fleek, be there for the child(ren) mentally and physically, make good dishes, be her own boss, and dont stress... I mean, not even superman can do this.
I'm a breast feeding mother with an almost 4 month old and I just want to say thank you so much. I only 3 minutes into the video and you've already said a mouthful of things that I didn't know I needed to hear. I've been being way too hard on myself.
I wasn’t breast fed simply because my mom couldn’t take it. I poke fun at her about it but all in all I turned out well. My immune system is great and I rarely ever get sick. 20 years going strong ✌🏼
@@emmaleong5025 this is late but it’s something she laughs at as well…some people cope through humor if you didn’t know. she went on to breastfeed my siblings (twins) so it wasn’t something that scarred her.
As someone who is still trying to establish a good breastfeeding routine with my 4 week old daughter, I can say that breastfeeding is REALLY HARD, both physically and mentally. All the power to you for making the best decision for you and your mental health!
It’s always good if a woman can breastfeed but even if she can’t, it’s perfectly alright. Society needs to break this stigma and allow mothers to do what is best for herself and her baby.
@@kennethfok i agree though respectfully, I wish people would accept that breast milk is what’s best for baby. That’s all. It’s science. Do what’s best for mom’s mental health cause if she’s being negatively affected by it, not good for her nor baby but not try to insist that the any formula even the best organic one is better. Thoughts?
I wasn’t breastfed as a baby because my mom had diabetes while I was in her belly, and ofc the doctors advised against breastfeeding after I was born. I can’t imagine the judgement that was placed on my mom at the time >:C I wished people would just mind their own business, good mothers will always make the choice that is best for their babies and themselves, they don’t need to be told whats good for them
Im curious to know, how come the doctor advised against breastfeeding if your mom was gestational diabetic? Im just curious because doctors advise to breastfeed these days for diabetics, not the other way around?
I'm a diabetic and when I got pregnant I developed gestational diabetes as well. My doctor has recommended I breastfeed exclusively because it can really help lower your blood glucose levels. I don't think your mothers doctor knew what they were talking about, I'm sorry. It would suck to miss out on breast feeding just because you have an uneducated doctor :/
Honestly i myself wasn’t breastfeed and i consider myself to grow into a happy and healthy person. Also i love the part where Karen goes on abt making stylish crocs it’s the cutest!!
You don't transform yourself into a really pretty girl, you're always a pretty girl! And you're doing an amazing job raising a happy, healthy kid and I'm really grateful you're talking about breaking this stigma, many women need that, so thank you!
FED is best! Happy mum = happy baby. I found it very difficult to breastfeed and it made me hate motherhood. Once I switched to formula I was happy and my baby got chubby. I now have a very happy, thriving 10 month old. I wish I did it sooner!
I’m breastfeeding both of my babies, and honestly I agree with fed is best. Happy Mother’s Day to respectful & responsible mothers ( here in New Zealand it’s 9th May) on earth 💐
I have 3 kids. I also did not breastfeed because I take medication. My doctor could not guarantee that the medication would not transfer into the breastmilk. They are healthy. My husband could also feed and bond with the children more.
Your doctor also cannot guarantee what the cow ate that the formula is made of. Formula is made of cow’s milk, corn syrup, & other ingredients of unknown source & production methods. Human milk is made of living white blood cells. Formula has been recalled for being tainted. Just facts.
Needed this! 3 weeks in and I’ve decided to wean off pumping exclusively to formula. (Nursing was too painful) making the decision for my mental health felt like such a selfish thing to do but my mental health also has an affect on my baby girl. Appreciate your openness!
I breastfed for 3 weeks only. I screamed, cried and panicked so much during that time bc I didn’t know if my daughter was eating enough bc she would howl and wail after every feed. Turns out bc of my c section and infection after, I hardly had a milk supply. So when we switched i felt a million times lighter. I could see my baby was eating and how much. We both became happier and she has so many cute bottles! Also straight after having a baby my hormones were EVERYWHERE and i truly only tried breastfeeding bc of the pressure from society. Karen, you’re amazing as always and thank you for being so honest and relatable with your fans and subscribers. Dove is happy and fed so what more you could ask for 🥰🥰
i did wen through the same situation c section infection and i breasfed my twins only 8 days and I had to switch to formula cause the pain was intense and i couldnt handle it . Istill do feel guilty for making such decision fully formula but great to read your opinion ,i dont feel alone with such desicion. this message made feel better
Same. I had a C-section and the anesthesia ended up clogging my milk ducts I wanted to breastfeed but it didn’t happen. I was so stressed that no milk was coming out so I formula fed him and realized that fed is best and I am currently recovering well (still have a long way to work; 7 weeks postpartum) and he is happy and healthy with formula. As long as your baby eats that is all that matters.
❤️ my husband was adopted and OBVIOUSLY his mother couldn't breast feed. He is the healthiest man I know. Smartest man I know... Actual rocket scientist haha. The internet has pushed people into anecdotal opinions and know that you are right! You are the mom and the giver, sending so much love to your family ❤️
My mother didn’t want to breastfeed when she had me and my sister as she just couldn’t get comfortable with it, a lot of family and friends gave her a hard time about the amount of money she’ll spend and what our health will be like without natural milk. Well, both my sister and I turned out perfectly healthy and my dad was also able to help bottle feed. Do whatever it is that you’re most comfortable with! X
The weird part is, that the backlash always comes from other women. I'm currently pregnant and no men told me something I should or should not do. And no men touched my (baby)belly without asking... So yeah... There's that - I think the only thing men are complaining is breastfeeding in public...
I was never breastfeeded too! I did not ask why, my mom still raised me healthily. It's fine for women to choose, it really depends on everything what they really want.
I also didn't think I can breastfeed my baby because the thought was to weird foe me. I tried and we're now breastfeeding for 5 months and I have to supplement with formula because she's not gaining enough weight. I can say kudos to both breastfeeding and formula feeding moms. Both are hard. Being a mom is hard. Keeping a newborn alive is hard. Whatever choices we make there will always be hard days.
I commend you for taking the decision early on. A lot of people think about what is best for baby, but they don’t stop to think about the mom’s mental health. I have breast fed all my three babies and i can tell you, its hard. At the beginning its hard, then it gets easy, then they start teething and bite. Lastly, sometimes it’s hard to wean them off. NOT ALL BABIES are the same. As long as baby is fed, i don’t see a problem. A mom needs her sanity to take care of baby. Baby blues is so real and i felt it more this time around. Hormones are a B! You are doing amazing!!
Karen, my baby and your baby are the same age ! And I thank you thank you for explaining the mental health of a mother when it comes to breastfeeding. You have no idea how much it made me feel so much better about myself because I had my own family members bash me about it.
You are such a breath of fresh air- I used to be so afraid of pregnancy and motherhood but watching your videos has eased so much of my anxiety about it. You are such an incredible mom!
I also decided not to breastfeed one because I have to top up with formula anyway and two because of mental health. I got a bit of family backlash but honestly always baffles me why people feel the need to insert their opinion? When we grow up nobody asks each other if we were breastfed, we can’t tell the difference. I wasn’t breastfed and I have a great immune system! So nice of you to be open and honest 💗
Thank you for bringing up this topic! I am a new mom also. My baby is 2 months younger than Dove. I breastfed my baby for only the first 2 months. I then switched to exclusively pumping bc i want to know exactly how much milk he is taking and i want my husband to have an opportunity to feed my baby. It was hard on me because sometimes i felt like i am losing out that bonding time. I was also afraid that people will judge me. I am finally at the point where i am comfortable with this decision and as long as baby is fed, that’s what matters. Love seeing your mommy vlog!
People are always going to have something to say and social media definitely makes it easy for them to share their opinions. And that’s fine. But. You’re a mother and you have instincts. You know how to take care of your child. Do whatever works for YOU and YOUR BABY.
Preach, people need to mind their own business and not expect people to do what ‘they’ want or think it’s right when it’s none of their business anyways.
honest mommy talk; bomb makeup with useful explanations; stylish croc planning!!?? this is the content i never thought i needed haha but i love it. i discovered strawberry printed crocs the other day and i’m officially a believer
I feel you on this soooooo much! THANK YOU Karen for this video ! So many moms need to hear this 💯 I felt so pressured to breast feed by certain family members and it took a toll on my mental health. I was diagnosed with PPD when my daughter was 2 weeks old 🙁 and I definitely feel like breast feeding was a huge contributor to it 😔 remember mommy’s, do what’s best for YOU and your baby. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise !
Not breastfeeding gets the same stigma as having a c-section. Both need to be normalized. Ur baby isn’t gunna love u more or less and neither make u more or less of a mom.
I’m a mom of three. My first was formula fed, my second was both I had to supplement with formula due to “not making enough breast milk” but my last I breastfed till his first birthday. All of them are healthy as can be! It doesn’t matter how you feed your baby, fed is best. Doesn’t make you less of a mom, you do you and what’s best for YOUR baby.
I’m not pregnant, nor will I be anytime soon, but from what I’ve heard breastfeeding is painful (whether the baby has teeth or no teeth). Not only do your breast start to swell from the milk sacs (idk if that’s right) fill up, but they could get infected if the milk is not release. Btw I love how open you are with talking about your experience with your pregnancy bc for the longest I feel like the majority of us have been brainwashed into believing this is how all pregnancy must go (i.e. all mothers must breastfeed to be good mothers).
@@corpselizzy glad to hear that you had a good start to breastfeeding! Our learning curve was steep and my nipples were on fiiiiire for the first 4 weeks
@@corpselizzy as a baby i didn’t get a good latch so i’d take pieces of my mom’s nipple. she ended up stopping and formula feeding me. my twin siblings that came later latched quickly and they were fully breastfed
Thank you for posting this! I am suffering with terrible prenatal depression and I’ve recently made the decision that I will exclusively formula feed right from the beginning for my mental health. I needed this video thank you so much Karen for being so open and honest!
Even though I had the opposite journey I enjoy you being open with us about this time. It’s not an easy decision to make. I breast fed until 2y/o following an extended plan with baby led weaning and there were times I wanted to give up. And the judgement for that was so real, everyone expects you to stop once the kid is one. Everyone seems to have an opinion on women’s bodies and how we raise our children. I had to get an epidural because of preeclampsia and blood pressure issues and I got so much flack from even my mother because it wasn’t “natural”. My kid was a preemie-4lbs, but is now in the 90th percentile for growth and development. Do what works for you mama! And happy Mother’s Day!
I feel like as a parent or woman there are choices you’ll make that other parents or women won’t be okay with, and that’s fine. you and your baby are completely different people and choices should be made based off that.
My baby was early, and in the nicu for his first month of life. Breastfeeding was more important to my husband then it was for me. I'm American and he's Egyptian. It's pretty much not allowed in his culture to not breastfeed. My baby was also tongue tied. For us to breastfeed he needed his tongue clipped but we didn't know that until he was 10 weeks. Breastfeeding was a struggle. I cried all the time. My nipples hurt from pumping because he wouldn't latch it was a mess. After my milk supply dropped from him coming home, changes in pumping schedule and just hormonal changes i started supplementing with formula. We worked very hard with a therapist to fix his latch and get him to nurse appropriately. So much time and energy spent on something that had been so easy with my other 3. Now he's 7 months old and nurses on command. My milk supply has actually gotten better as hes gotten older. I feel blessed that I had formula to help me through the hardest parts of breastfeeding.
Damn reading some these comments are really demanding. Happy mother is happy child. Yes breastfeeding does have its own benefits but do you really think she made this choice on her own? Ofc she asked her doctors and everything. And its 2021, formulas are fucking well made. This is not an abuse. Abuse is when she doesnt feed her child at all. Having a child doesnt mean let woman throw away her whole life just because she have a child now. Woman should still have her own life and mental health is very important during this time. Thank you Karen for talking about this publicly because many people are afraid to talk about this topic due to people who thinks they know everything about motherhood. I didn’t even think about this option until you talked about it. Many people are supporting you and hope that your family is staying healthy and happy during this chaotic time. Also thank you for standing up for woman all the time💪❤️
I completely agree, us as momma should support each other choice instead of bringing each other down. Each child is unique and different, as long as they are healthy and thriving that’s all it matters. There’s already a lot of mommy guilt trip we do to ourselves and forget to give ourselves credit for carrying and bringing baby to this world. It’s not easy, but we can do this together!
thank u so much karen for ur words of inspiration. i can relate so much with the internal thoughts of stigma against breastfeeding vs. formula but now i know "a fed baby is a happy baby, and a happy mom is a happy baby"
I also am not breastfeeding! I actually tried really hard and was so set on doing it but it just didn’t work out for me, i could not produce nearly enough milk no matter what I tried and it was so painful for me and I am full time student so it was taking a tole on my body since I hardly had time to even eat. I was sad about it at first but it’s made my life so much more manageable so I’m a lot happier, healthier and I can also 😗💨 w33d
My dad always tells the story of my mother’s experience breastfeeding me: she tried so hard for the first few months, and was in tears constantly because she didn’t produce a lot of milk and felt like a failure. She was resistant to feeding me formula because she had been fed the narrative that breastmilk was better. Then, she took me to visit her parents in California (my dad couldn’t come with us because he was in the military), and when we came back, my dad thought she’d come back with a different baby! I’d been a pale, thin baby before, and when we came back, I was lively and plump bc my grandparents had finally convinced my mom to try formula!! So yes, there is so much pressure to breastfeed that mothers should absolutely not feel obligated to listen to! Make the decision that is best for you, and your baby will be okay 💞
I did try my best to breastfeed my newborn but after 2 weeks of only producing drops regardless of all the tips and what to do and not , I decided to end it. It was stressing me due to not having enough and also every time i pump (that every 20 mins) i could’ve spend that time to feed my son which making me sad. Lack of sleep did not help also, I’m with you ! Mentally,i was loosing it so i had to make the best decision for me and my baby.
Thank you for this video. I am 3 weeks postpartum and during pregnancy when people asked me if I was going to breastfeed i always felt pressured to say yes. After I gave birth they taught me how to hold her and make sure she latches. First day and first week i had so much anxiety about breastfeeding , making sure she was eating enough or thinking about pumping also. I was mentally drained. I decided to just bottle feed after a week and it did such a difference to my mental health. i no longer dreaded feeding time. i did feel mom guilt but seeing videos like this is so reassuring that there are other mom like me.
I did it 3 months and decided to quit because of PPD diagnosis and also repetitive case of mastitis. The feeling of “you didn’t try hard enough” was definitely triggered by the negative stigma! My son is 15 months and has never been sick! Not your body, not your business!
People are RIDICULOUSLY uninformed. If you research the history of wet nursing, you’ll see that 80% of women didn’t breastfeed their own children for thousands of years. (Srsly, from like the Greek empire on) It wasn’t until the late late 1800’s that nursing your own children grew in popularity. Most women had their babies sent away to be wet nursed for about three years from another woman. But even that poor wet nurse sent HER babies to another wet nurse so she could do her job. Unfortunately, the lower on the tier list you got, the lower quality infant care you received and those babies mostly didn’t survive. Ergo, many of the children who actually survived to adulthood were the offspring of wealthy women who never had to breastfeed. Therefore, many many modern women have genetic factors that prevent successful breastfeeding (anatomy, tissue, mental health, etc.) It wasn’t natural selection, it was survival of the richest. This doesn’t mean that breastfeeding isn’t natural or good, it just means that many of us have the inherited traits from women who never breastfed at all or never had to. The research on wet nursing is FASCINATING and it wasn’t just an Antebellum South kind of thing. It was common practice globally.
My baby is 2 months old and coming into motherhood I always said I would breastfeed! My baby came 6 weeks early, and I wasn’t making enough milk due to stress on top of that my milk didn’t have enough calories that my baby needed in the NICU to grow - so we had to add supplements to my breast milk, whereas formula had all the benefits in it for my baby Now I’m exclusively formula feeding and I’m able to be happy and stress free and enjoy my baby - not crying from the pressures of not making milk ; as long as my baby is fed, happy and healthy that’s all I care about ♥️
I agree 1000% with Karen. It really is up to the mom to decide what she feeds her child. My daughter was born with a tie under her tongue so she had a terrible latch. And the lactation nurses kept stressing me out about how I wasnt feeding my child properly because of her bad latch, so I ddcided to pump for her. When she hit six months, my milk was starting to dry out so I had to mix formula with breast milk, and the judgement came pouring in from outsiders who had nothing to do with my daughter. People need to shift their perspective and realize not everyone's bodies are designed the same. Out of context question: how are you keeping your skin hydrated with the makeup? I have to use two sprays each day just to keep my skin from drying out..😭😭
I agree everyone is different and we should accept other people and there choice. When you mentioned your mental health and breastfeeding, I'm the opposite, I feel like it was good for my mental health to breastfeed. Like you said everyone has a different experience. I love the breastfeeding bond I have shared with my girls. But yes, a fed baby is a happy baby no matter the choice.
I am a baby of 5months baby boy, aftera postpartum I don't know I wasn't comfortable breast feeding so I decided to feed formula milk n still iam feeding formula milk but who ever comes they just backlash me why m I not feeding my breast they are like you are not enjoying your mother hood . It just disturbs me mentally I can't share my feelings to anybody ,now I feel bit of relief sharing with you. Lost of love from state called Arunachal Pradesh (country -india).
I 100% agree that we should support mothers whatever they choose. I was in the opposite situation where everyone around me was pressuring me to supplement with formula, even though my son REFUSED to drink it and would get extremely upset when whenever we tried to give it to him. It caused me so much stress and made me feel like I was a bad mom, even though my son was completely healthy and happy. Like you said nothing in life is one sized fits all, breastfeeding is extremely hard, and formula can be extremely expensive. Women should be supported in whatever choice is best for them and their child.
Hi Karen, I also decided not to breastfeed right after the moment I gave birth. It was also for my mental health and I made the right choice because I was diagnosed with postpartum depression not long after. I did get asked by a few relatives about why I didn’t breastfeed and I was like because I didnt want to (but in my mind I was like its none of your business) 😂.
Karen, thank you so much for sharing this. I can’t imagine how hard it is to share such an intimate side of yourself with the world. My son is 4 months old and we have had the hardest time breastfeeding. I’m still deciding to wean or not and through this journey I learned just how important it is to refrain from judgment, especially to mothers. Mothers will do what is best for their children and that looks different for everyone. Dove is so lucky. Much love, happy Mother’s Day!
I’ve never heard someone say they didn’t do it because of their mental health. I had no idea how much breastfeeding impacted mood. I literally felt unstable and crazy and the minute I stopped breastfeeding, I felt normal and like myself. I don’t know if I’ll do it for baby #2. It’s not worth the experience I went through for baby #1.
Woww! I didn’t know this! I am pumping with my first baby and I am 3 months into it and there are moments where I feel moody, sad, tired and overwhelmed between bottle feeding and breastfeeding. I hope my hormones change when I stop which is soon!
Because of your video, I did some very brief googling on the topic of formula vs breast milk, and I really like how these medical articles word their advice. :) They do say, like you know, that breast milk is the gold standard and is superior to formula for a number of reasons. So it is certainly the recommended route. BUT, they end by saying that it's ultimately your decision, and your baby can be healthy with formula. So, I like that they give a well-rounded answer on this topic, and it'd be nice if most people addressed it in this way!
I breastfed for almost 4 years...it was extremely difficult! Definitely do what works for you. People don't understand how serious postpartum depression is. I felt the same way on top of excessive hair shedding 😔
I’m putting my opinion and experience. I was pressured to breastfeeding my firstborn until he was four months. With my second I didn’t want to tell my plans I only did a month. With my third I did a week. I was more outspoken and anyone that told me how breastfeeding was best for my baby I would tell them I was doing was best for me for my babies. They were all born within 5 year span. I just had my 4th baby on 2020. I decided to full time breastfeeding it’s hard even tho my other kids are older. I love it but again I’m done. He is seven months I did it because I could. I know people that couldn’t So I felt sad. I could and didn’t wanted to. Listening to you just brought me so many memories. Do whatever make you happy.
Yes!! Thank you for speaking out on not breastfeeding. I too have chose not to breastfeed and feel like I have gotten so much hate because of it. My LO is almost 5 months and is thriving ☺️
It definitely goes both ways. Women who choose to breastfeed get judged as well. I wouldn’t trade the sleepless nights breastfeeding for anything. I wish everyone was a little kinder to new moms!!
My baby never latched so I was grieving the fact that I didnt breastfeeding my baby... Look, I see my friends who breastfeed and its a full time job and their babies are difficult and always hungry, using the boob as a pacifier.., No Im glad I gave formula! My baby is easy and so healthy and strong! She sat at 5 months, crawled at 7 and is running at 15 months
I have two boys older one bottle and the second breastfeed and isn’t hard at all breastfeeding i manage easily than my older one .Its hard only the first month but after is easy I never gave a pacifier to my breastfeeding baby and he is so strong and healthy.I don’t want to judge anyone is individual decisions I have done both but will always chosen breastfeeding
@@nikaisismejia1830 Yes Is easer actually cos I tried both breastfeeding and bottle and I find much much easier the breastfeeding for everything no need to sterilise to prepare ect..Is just there ready at anytime for the baby to feed and for comfort and bonding to each other just be patient at teh beginning
Babies behaving in ways that are biologically normal does not make them “difficult.” Pacifiers were created to mimic the comfort of the breast. Whether breastfeeding/chestfeeding or formula feeding (or both), babies can have issues with oral restrictions that make it hard for them to eat efficiently. Yes breastfeeding is a huge commitment, but if everything is *right* (as in, the lactating parent has enough support, knowledge, dedication, and capacity to try; and if the baby can nurse well), breastfeeding only gets easier.
I have two friends that weren't able to breastfeed. One because her milk didn't come in, and the other because she needed to undergo cancer treatment immediately after giving birth. I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant and I'm going to try to breastfeed, but my friend's experience as well as videos like this remove the pressure. 💕
I couldn’t breastfeed because my little one just wouldn’t latch and would cry hysterically.. she chose the bottle straight away. I use to face backlash all the time because she was on formula. I don’t think people understand why. Not every woman can breastfeed for many reasons.. It’s like people think we don’t want to. I always say as long as bub is fed and is healthy that’s all that matters. 😊
This is exactly what I’m going through right now and I agree the people act like we don’t want to i was crushed when I wasn’t able to breastfeed my baby because of the same reason he couldn’t latch
I am 28+1 weeks pregnant & I really needed to see this. I want to breastfeed so bad but due to a certain medication, I am unable too. I start feeling guilty.. almost like I’m choosing this medication over my son’s health/ best interest. But I am slowly learning to accept that my mental health comes first. I need to be the best version of myself to make sure by baby boy gets 100% of me. Thank you for sharing 💙💙
No need to feel bad about it. If it's any consolation - my mom was unable to breastfeed my youngest sister due to low milk supply. While she breastfed me amd my other sister till 1½ yrs. Despite this my youngest sister is arguably the healthiest of us all and has the strongest bond with mom. Don't let people scare you into thinking you'll be an inadequate mom just cz you don't breastfeed. All the best to you 💜
I have been breastfeeding and pumping for 3 months andddd every day I am quitting lol It has probably been the hardest thing I have ever done! From pressure from my husband (which is now changing and he has been more understanding now) to mom guilt, I can completely understand the choice to bottle feed. It is extremely hard! I am an over producer and breast pain is realll! I haveeee to wake up throughout the night to pump even though my baby is starting to sleep longer so I am tired always. Anywho I have decided that when he turns 4 months I will stop breastfeeding and I am excited! My goal was 6 months (made this goal before he was born) because he was a preemie butttttt my sanity is more important at this point. I am actually excited and content with stopping at 4 months, who knows I might stop short of 4 months.
100% formula - “why are you so lazy?” Mixed feeding - “did you even try?” 100% Breastfeeding - “your baby is too overly attached to you” [then there is exclusive pumping versus only latching or mix of both, introducing bottles too early or not etc...] I mixed feed. And now 3 years and 2 kids later, am still breastfeeding and that is my choice and my journey. Some people also think it is weird i still bf my oldest but i honestly dont give a F 😉 You do you. Your baby is healthy and happy 🥰 Happy Mother’s Day 🙏🏻
Breastfeeding might come naturally for some but for others it takes a lot of hard work. Not only is it physically painful for the first few days when the milk is coming in and baby is learning to latch. As well emotionally when things don’t go smooth. Trying to latch, unsuccessful, then pump for 15 mins just to get 10 mls of milk is exhausting, imagine having to do that 8x a day in the early mornings, late at night through to the middle of the night with a crying baby . Sometimes it works out baby and mother overcomes the first hurdle together and sometimes it doesn’t and some mothers will choose to exclusively pump or use formula. All have it’s pros and cons later on when it comes to routines, sleeping, weaning. Ultimately, choose something that will fit your lifestyle and your mental health.
I am mix feeding my 1.5month son. I was beating myself up for not being able to exclusively breastfeed but I accepted now that this is the healthier choice for me and my baby. I have the same reason as yours - i felt like by doing this, I will be able to give the best version of myself to my son instead of being a stressed out mom not being able to produce milk, that will only make me an unhappy mother infront of my baby. I dont want to bring that energy infront of my child
I felt pressured by family that I should breastfeed. I tried to breastfeed at first but never made enough milk. My baby was even hospitalized the first few days and I lost entire day and nights of sleep because baby constantly was crying from hunger and I didn’t know it was cuz I wasn’t making enough. Later I decided to formula feed I felt it was like a relief. During that time people kept judging me for trying to formula feed instead of breastfeed.
My daughter is 5yo now and I had such a hard time trying to breast feed her. I was literally bleeding from nipples and it was so painful but my mom was on top of me telling me what to do. I was also told that if it hurts that means it’s working. I was traumatized after a month of “breastfeeding” that I decided that if I was to have another baby, breastfeeding it’s not even a option for me 🙅🏻♀️
Thank you for talking about your decision not to breast feed. Honestly I hadn’t thought much about it before my now almost 8 month old was born. I deal with anxiety and I think it would have helped me a lot to formula feed! Especially during that newborn phase. Thanks again for talking about this!
My mom only breastfed me and my sister for 2 months then gave us formula right after and we turned out fine. Only ever sick once a year. She told us that whatever advice other people gave when it comes to anything involving our lives, especially when becoming a mother ourselves, it was only ever advice and we are in no way obligated to follow any of it. In the end, it's what you think is best for yourself and your baby. Happy mommy, happy baby :))
Neither one of my boys could latch. I was devastated with my first son because my husband thought I was trying hard enough and it really wasn’t my fault, it turned out both of my sons had a thick frenulum and that’s what caused them not to be able to latch. It caused my younger son to have a speech issues and needed to have a frenulectomy. The best thing that ever happened was my first son’s pediatrician telling me that my son was happy and healthy whether I breastfed or bottle fed and to concentrate on being the best mom I could. Where his nutrition came from did not matter. I thank god for him everyday. He helped me realize that all the pressure I was placing on myself to breastfeed was absolutely unnecessary and he helped my husband to be more supportive in my decision to just bottle feed.
I’m almost 3 months into breastfeeding and I’m trying my best 😅 my supply is all over the place lol My daughter’s pediatrician actually told me that a lot of mothers aren’t breastfeeding these days and I’m about ready to join the train lol thank you for this 😌
Please think about your child first. Breastfeeding is the way we are supposed to bond and nurture and feed our babies for a reason. Your supply isn’t “all over the place” your supply is the way it is because your daughter needs different caloric or nutrients or volume of milk and your body will adjust and give what your baby needs at each feeding. If you’re still not feeling confident in your breastfeeding journey, which is totally normal, I would advise getting the help of a lactation consultant, or your local llli.org
My daughter just turned 11 months. I originally did not want to breastfeed then I ended up breast feeding. But the key word is that I was the one who got to decide. Thanks for sharing mama
In this day and age, anything one posts is open to judgment and criticism. It’s human nature for people to have opinions and we can’t control what others express towards. We gotta focus on what we can control. And you are financially secure and Dove will always be bed. A fed baby is most important. 💜
Karen you are such a BEAUTY with or without makeup !! SLAYYY QUEEEN, and don’t let no haters tell you ANY TYPE of way on how to raise your baby!!! Dove is such a HAPPY, CUTE girl, CLEARLY mommy knows best🙌👍🏼♥️
My mom could not breastfeed us enough bc of our tongue positions and I have to say my immunity is bomb af lol Breastfeeding does not influence the happiness or anything in a baby other than their health. For any new moms on the block, if you can breastfeed, as long as you try to feed the baby for the first two weeks, you can be sure that you helped your baby much more than if you just feed them the following 3-6 months as the biggest reason why breastfeeding is important is the immunity of the baby and the most compounds needed for the building of it are contained in the colostrum, which is yellowish and comes out the first week or two before the white milk. Some women skip the colostrum and feed only the milk after it bc they don't know that colostrum is the most important part of breastfeeding, so don't do that. From a scientific standpoint it is needed to breastfeed from 3 up to 6 months, but work, mental health and other things do come in between and should be a factor too. Also, don't breastfeed your child over 6 months as that is completely pointless health-wise as at already 3 months you need to introduce other foods along with the milk to have a healthy child. There are also many more ways to be close to your child, too, for any person being hung up on the idea that is the only way to build a bond with your child hanging on your boobs. Sorry, not sorry.
I only breastfed for a few days because I was experiencing what I think was postpartum depression and I felt like I couldn't take care of my baby if I didn't make things easier on myself. People have expressed to me that they don't like my decision but they obviously never experienced postpartum depression to the extent that I did if they cannot empathize.
I fully support your decision because I have three children, my youngest being the same as your own and my family has pressure to breastfeed with all my children. Although I tried my longest to breastfeed my 3rd child, my pregnancy and postpartum made it very difficult to do so. My youngest is healthier because I chose to stop, not forcing her to take my stressed out milk and deprive her because I was not producing enough milk as is. People really need to see even a breastfed child can be sick and it’s every parents own choice how to raise them! They need a healthy happy parent to become a healthy happy child! You’re doing a great job!
I'm not a mom but I've already pre-decided for now that breastfeeding is not for me. I saw my sister do it for both her kids and although it's cool she was always complaining about how much her boobies hurt and whenever the babies weren't around she needed to use her breaks at work to pump. Plus I love the idea of my husband being able to bond with nursing our baby via bottles more
My mom found that she had to supplement her breast milk with formula for me because she simply didn’t produce enough and she got quite a bit of backlash and her response was just ‘well whose baby is it?’
👏🏼 👏🏼
That’s such a joke, she wasn’t even making enough to feed you😭 why r mother’s getting backlash for feeding their children
Yes same exact thing happened with my mom!
I had this same problem with my twins and I was so utterly stressed that they were hungry, I'm so glad that you talked about this topic cuz until this day I wondered if I didn't try hard enough and felt like this shadow of failure over me, thanks
My friend has thyroid issues that caused her to not lactate nearly enough. She tried everything to the point that it was causing her severe anxiety. She would spend hours trying to pump/ breastfeed. She tried for MONTHS including working with specialists and physicians. So please do not ever tell me that women should just be able to breastfeed. It is such a toxic stigma that places such a horrible expectation on mothers.
can people not see how much dove smiles- she’s clearly happy and loved
"It's no longer liquid gold if it messes with your mental health" and that's when I stopped breastfeeding 🥰
@@juicysmolliette2852 i’m not gonna become a martyr for the cause of breastfeeding. If I am mentally at my best, my baby will be better off also.
@@juicysmolliette2852 then go breastfeed your baby and stop bothering others and their decisions
@@juicysmolliette2852 ok justice titty, go focus on your child, literally no one cares what you think is best for others, you're not a doctor.
@@juicysmolliette2852 Respect other peoples decisions.
@@juicysmolliette2852 ikr lol
I breastfed my first daughter for over a year, I breastfed my second daughter for 5 months. I had some kind of hormone issue that dried up my milk completely over the course of a few days. I legitimately think I was traumatized by it and I just found out I was pregnant about 18 hours ago, and I already know I do not want to go through that pain again, and will either pump and bottle feed or exclusively formula feed. I need to protect myself just as much as my baby.
Pumping also hurts and makes sore cracked nipples, I was an exclusive pumper. Or maybe I was doing something wrong
@@katarinamonaco5300 I had the same problem!!! It was so bad I was going to quit all together. I took to the internet and found the simplest solution. The pain for me was from my nipples rubbing on the pump pieces. The site I was reading said to use a little olive oil on the nipple so the friction was lubricated. It took about a week for the worst of the pain to go away, but after that every time I pumped I just used a little olive oil and bam. We've been successful ever since
This reminded me of when people said to me before giving birth “you’re not getting an epidural are you? A real woman doesn’t need epidural” and usually this was men saying this. Bitch what? My vag, my rules. (I most certainly did get an epidural).
wow... these ppl...
I wish I had epidural. I was in so much pain. And breastfeeding is a choice. And I respect all. But when I gave birth I screamed at the doctor 'I want c-section'. My ex tried to call my name and hold my hand. And I just yelled at him 'shut up! Don't touch me!'
I get the opposite reaction. Alot of people tell me when I go in to give birth I will get the epidural. Nurses actually do bets to see how far a woman will dilate before changing their minds and get one instead of going natural
I like how honest you are, you should do what makes you comfortable. As you said, as long as the baby is fed it shouldn't matter.
Mothers are expected to breastfeed, work, have a healthy diet, dont get enough sleep, have the house on fleek, be there for the child(ren) mentally and physically, make good dishes, be her own boss, and dont stress... I mean, not even superman can do this.
I'm a breast feeding mother with an almost 4 month old and I just want to say thank you so much. I only 3 minutes into the video and you've already said a mouthful of things that I didn't know I needed to hear. I've been being way too hard on myself.
I love your mommy vids, but I also love seeing you sit down and talking to us. I’m so excited to watch 🥰
This makes me happy! I’ll be doing more of these again!
I wasn’t breast fed simply because my mom couldn’t take it. I poke fun at her about it but all in all I turned out well. My immune system is great and I rarely ever get sick. 20 years going strong ✌🏼
Yessss 🙌🏼🙌🏼
Why the hell would you poke fun at her for something she was obviously going through?
Omg same
@@emmaleong5025 this is late but it’s something she laughs at as well…some people cope through humor if you didn’t know. she went on to breastfeed my siblings (twins) so it wasn’t something that scarred her.
As someone who is still trying to establish a good breastfeeding routine with my 4 week old daughter, I can say that breastfeeding is REALLY HARD, both physically and mentally. All the power to you for making the best decision for you and your mental health!
It’s always good if a woman can breastfeed but even if she can’t, it’s perfectly alright. Society needs to break this stigma and allow mothers to do what is best for herself and her baby.
@@kennethfok i agree though respectfully, I wish people would accept that breast milk is what’s best for baby. That’s all. It’s science. Do what’s best for mom’s mental health cause if she’s being negatively affected by it, not good for her nor baby but not try to insist that the any formula even the best organic one is better. Thoughts?
Hope that went well!
Why is breastfeeding hard?
I wasn’t breastfed as a baby because my mom had diabetes while I was in her belly, and ofc the doctors advised against breastfeeding after I was born. I can’t imagine the judgement that was placed on my mom at the time >:C I wished people would just mind their own business, good mothers will always make the choice that is best for their babies and themselves, they don’t need to be told whats good for them
Im curious to know, how come the doctor advised against breastfeeding if your mom was gestational diabetic? Im just curious because doctors advise to breastfeed these days for diabetics, not the other way around?
I'm a diabetic and when I got pregnant I developed gestational diabetes as well. My doctor has recommended I breastfeed exclusively because it can really help lower your blood glucose levels. I don't think your mothers doctor knew what they were talking about, I'm sorry. It would suck to miss out on breast feeding just because you have an uneducated doctor :/
Honestly i myself wasn’t breastfeed and i consider myself to grow into a happy and healthy person. Also i love the part where Karen goes on abt making stylish crocs it’s the cutest!!
Me
Omggg same
You don't transform yourself into a really pretty girl, you're always a pretty girl! And you're doing an amazing job raising a happy, healthy kid and I'm really grateful you're talking about breaking this stigma, many women need that, so thank you!
You’re right! Thank you for the encouragement 🤍🤍🤍 I’m always pretty haha
Exactly what I was gonna say!
Your baby is happy and healthy, that’s all what matters!!! Happy Mother’s Day to all the great moms out there! ✨❤️
i died with those little clips of dovie 😭😭
I had to put a bit of dove in 🤍👀😂
She’s so cute 🥰
@@iamkareno yess! 🥰 absolutely in love with you and your family, stay safe and healthy! 💌
FED is best! Happy mum = happy baby. I found it very difficult to breastfeed and it made me hate motherhood. Once I switched to formula I was happy and my baby got chubby. I now have a very happy, thriving 10 month old. I wish I did it sooner!
I’m breastfeeding both of my babies, and honestly I agree with fed is best. Happy Mother’s Day to respectful & responsible mothers ( here in New Zealand it’s 9th May) on earth 💐
Happy Mother’s Day 🥰🤍🎁
I have 3 kids. I also did not breastfeed because I take medication. My doctor could not guarantee that the medication would not transfer into the breastmilk. They are healthy. My husband could also feed and bond with the children more.
Your doctor also cannot guarantee what the cow ate that the formula is made of. Formula is made of cow’s milk, corn syrup, & other ingredients of unknown source & production methods. Human milk is made of living white blood cells. Formula has been recalled for being tainted. Just facts.
@@JennyLouRN shut up
Ashley Mcewan Um, no. Rude. I am just stating facts. Can you not handle that?
Husbands can feed babies breast milk if it’s pumped and put in a bottle!
Needed this! 3 weeks in and I’ve decided to wean off pumping exclusively to formula. (Nursing was too painful) making the decision for my mental health felt like such a selfish thing to do but my mental health also has an affect on my baby girl. Appreciate your openness!
I breastfed for 3 weeks only. I screamed, cried and panicked so much during that time bc I didn’t know if my daughter was eating enough bc she would howl and wail after every feed. Turns out bc of my c section and infection after, I hardly had a milk supply. So when we switched i felt a million times lighter. I could see my baby was eating and how much. We both became happier and she has so many cute bottles! Also straight after having a baby my hormones were EVERYWHERE and i truly only tried breastfeeding bc of the pressure from society.
Karen, you’re amazing as always and thank you for being so honest and relatable with your fans and subscribers. Dove is happy and fed so what more you could ask for 🥰🥰
i did wen through the same situation c section infection and i breasfed my twins only 8 days and I had to switch to formula cause the pain was intense and i couldnt handle it . Istill do feel guilty for making such decision fully formula but great to read your opinion ,i dont feel alone with such desicion. this message made feel better
Same. I had a C-section and the anesthesia ended up clogging my milk ducts I wanted to breastfeed but it didn’t happen. I was so stressed that no milk was coming out so I formula fed him and realized that fed is best and I am currently recovering well (still have a long way to work; 7 weeks postpartum) and he is happy and healthy with formula. As long as your baby eats that is all that matters.
❤️ my husband was adopted and OBVIOUSLY his mother couldn't breast feed. He is the healthiest man I know. Smartest man I know... Actual rocket scientist haha.
The internet has pushed people into anecdotal opinions and know that you are right! You are the mom and the giver, sending so much love to your family ❤️
My mother didn’t want to breastfeed when she had me and my sister as she just couldn’t get comfortable with it, a lot of family and friends gave her a hard time about the amount of money she’ll spend and what our health will be like without natural milk. Well, both my sister and I turned out perfectly healthy and my dad was also able to help bottle feed. Do whatever it is that you’re most comfortable with! X
The weird part is, that the backlash always comes from other women. I'm currently pregnant and no men told me something I should or should not do. And no men touched my (baby)belly without asking... So yeah... There's that - I think the only thing men are complaining is breastfeeding in public...
I was never breastfeeded too! I did not ask why, my mom still raised me healthily.
It's fine for women to choose, it really depends on everything what they really want.
I also didn't think I can breastfeed my baby because the thought was to weird foe me. I tried and we're now breastfeeding for 5 months and I have to supplement with formula because she's not gaining enough weight. I can say kudos to both breastfeeding and formula feeding moms. Both are hard. Being a mom is hard. Keeping a newborn alive is hard. Whatever choices we make there will always be hard days.
I commend you for taking the decision early on. A lot of people think about what is best for baby, but they don’t stop to think about the mom’s mental health. I have breast fed all my three babies and i can tell you, its hard. At the beginning its hard, then it gets easy, then they start teething and bite. Lastly, sometimes it’s hard to wean them off. NOT ALL BABIES are the same. As long as baby is fed, i don’t see a problem. A mom needs her sanity to take care of baby. Baby blues is so real and i felt it more this time around. Hormones are a B! You are doing amazing!!
Karen, my baby and your baby are the same age ! And I thank you thank you for explaining the mental health of a mother when it comes to breastfeeding. You have no idea how much it made me feel so much better about myself because I had my own family members bash me about it.
You are such a breath of fresh air- I used to be so afraid of pregnancy and motherhood but watching your videos has eased so much of my anxiety about it. You are such an incredible mom!
I also decided not to breastfeed one because I have to top up with formula anyway and two because of mental health. I got a bit of family backlash but honestly always baffles me why people feel the need to insert their opinion? When we grow up nobody asks each other if we were breastfed, we can’t tell the difference. I wasn’t breastfed and I have a great immune system! So nice of you to be open and honest 💗
Thank you for bringing up this topic! I am a new mom also. My baby is 2 months younger than Dove. I breastfed my baby for only the first 2 months. I then switched to exclusively pumping bc i want to know exactly how much milk he is taking and i want my husband to have an opportunity to feed my baby. It was hard on me because sometimes i felt like i am losing out that bonding time. I was also afraid that people will judge me. I am finally at the point where i am comfortable with this decision and as long as baby is fed, that’s what matters.
Love seeing your mommy vlog!
People are always going to have something to say and social media definitely makes it easy for them to share their opinions. And that’s fine.
But.
You’re a mother and you have instincts. You know how to take care of your child. Do whatever works for YOU and YOUR BABY.
Preach, people need to mind their own business and not expect people to do what ‘they’ want or think it’s right when it’s none of their business anyways.
honest mommy talk; bomb makeup with useful explanations; stylish croc planning!!?? this is the content i never thought i needed haha but i love it. i discovered strawberry printed crocs the other day and i’m officially a believer
Hahaha yes to another makeup, family content and croc lover!
I feel you on this soooooo much! THANK YOU Karen for this video ! So many moms need to hear this 💯 I felt so pressured to breast feed by certain family members and it took a toll on my mental health. I was diagnosed with PPD when my daughter was 2 weeks old 🙁 and I definitely feel like breast feeding was a huge contributor to it 😔 remember mommy’s, do what’s best for YOU and your baby. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise !
Not breastfeeding gets the same stigma as having a c-section. Both need to be normalized. Ur baby isn’t gunna love u more or less and neither make u more or less of a mom.
I’m a mom of three. My first was formula fed, my second was both I had to supplement with formula due to “not making enough breast milk” but my last I breastfed till his first birthday. All of them are healthy as can be! It doesn’t matter how you feed your baby, fed is best. Doesn’t make you less of a mom, you do you and what’s best for YOUR baby.
I’m not pregnant, nor will I be anytime soon, but from what I’ve heard breastfeeding is painful (whether the baby has teeth or no teeth). Not only do your breast start to swell from the milk sacs (idk if that’s right) fill up, but they could get infected if the milk is not release.
Btw I love how open you are with talking about your experience with your pregnancy bc for the longest I feel like the majority of us have been brainwashed into believing this is how all pregnancy must go (i.e. all mothers must breastfeed to be good mothers).
🤍🤍🤍
Thank you🤍 this is so encouraging
I breastfed my daughter it didn't hurt? My lactation specialist said as long as you do it properly there should be no pain. And I agreed with that
@@corpselizzy glad to hear that you had a good start to breastfeeding! Our learning curve was steep and my nipples were on fiiiiire for the first 4 weeks
@@corpselizzy as a baby i didn’t get a good latch so i’d take pieces of my mom’s nipple. she ended up stopping and formula feeding me. my twin siblings that came later latched quickly and they were fully breastfed
Thank you for posting this! I am suffering with terrible prenatal depression and I’ve recently made the decision that I will exclusively formula feed right from the beginning for my mental health. I needed this video thank you so much Karen for being so open and honest!
I’m blessed to hear that you prioritized your mental health for you and your baby GO MOM 💕
Even though I had the opposite journey I enjoy you being open with us about this time. It’s not an easy decision to make. I breast fed until 2y/o following an extended plan with baby led weaning and there were times I wanted to give up. And the judgement for that was so real, everyone expects you to stop once the kid is one. Everyone seems to have an opinion on women’s bodies and how we raise our children. I had to get an epidural because of preeclampsia and blood pressure issues and I got so much flack from even my mother because it wasn’t “natural”. My kid was a preemie-4lbs, but is now in the 90th percentile for growth and development. Do what works for you mama! And happy Mother’s Day!
I feel like as a parent or woman there are choices you’ll make that other parents or women won’t be okay with, and that’s fine. you and your baby are completely different people and choices should be made based off that.
My baby was early, and in the nicu for his first month of life. Breastfeeding was more important to my husband then it was for me. I'm American and he's Egyptian. It's pretty much not allowed in his culture to not breastfeed. My baby was also tongue tied. For us to breastfeed he needed his tongue clipped but we didn't know that until he was 10 weeks. Breastfeeding was a struggle. I cried all the time. My nipples hurt from pumping because he wouldn't latch it was a mess. After my milk supply dropped from him coming home, changes in pumping schedule and just hormonal changes i started supplementing with formula. We worked very hard with a therapist to fix his latch and get him to nurse appropriately. So much time and energy spent on something that had been so easy with my other 3. Now he's 7 months old and nurses on command. My milk supply has actually gotten better as hes gotten older. I feel blessed that I had formula to help me through the hardest parts of breastfeeding.
Damn reading some these comments are really demanding. Happy mother is happy child. Yes breastfeeding does have its own benefits but do you really think she made this choice on her own? Ofc she asked her doctors and everything. And its 2021, formulas are fucking well made. This is not an abuse. Abuse is when she doesnt feed her child at all. Having a child doesnt mean let woman throw away her whole life just because she have a child now. Woman should still have her own life and mental health is very important during this time. Thank you Karen for talking about this publicly because many people are afraid to talk about this topic due to people who thinks they know everything about motherhood. I didn’t even think about this option until you talked about it. Many people are supporting you and hope that your family is staying healthy and happy during this chaotic time. Also thank you for standing up for woman all the time💪❤️
I completely agree, us as momma should support each other choice instead of bringing each other down. Each child is unique and different, as long as they are healthy and thriving that’s all it matters. There’s already a lot of mommy guilt trip we do to ourselves and forget to give ourselves credit for carrying and bringing baby to this world. It’s not easy, but we can do this together!
thank u so much karen for ur words of inspiration. i can relate so much with the internal thoughts of stigma against breastfeeding vs. formula but now i know "a fed baby is a happy baby, and a happy mom is a happy baby"
I also am not breastfeeding! I actually tried really hard and was so set on doing it but it just didn’t work out for me, i could not produce nearly enough milk no matter what I tried and it was so painful for me and I am full time student so it was taking a tole on my body since I hardly had time to even eat. I was sad about it at first but it’s made my life so much more manageable so I’m a lot happier, healthier and I can also 😗💨 w33d
My dad always tells the story of my mother’s experience breastfeeding me: she tried so hard for the first few months, and was in tears constantly because she didn’t produce a lot of milk and felt like a failure. She was resistant to feeding me formula because she had been fed the narrative that breastmilk was better. Then, she took me to visit her parents in California (my dad couldn’t come with us because he was in the military), and when we came back, my dad thought she’d come back with a different baby! I’d been a pale, thin baby before, and when we came back, I was lively and plump bc my grandparents had finally convinced my mom to try formula!! So yes, there is so much pressure to breastfeed that mothers should absolutely not feel obligated to listen to! Make the decision that is best for you, and your baby will be okay 💞
I did try my best to breastfeed my newborn but after 2 weeks of only producing drops regardless of all the tips and what to do and not , I decided to end it. It was stressing me due to not having enough and also every time i pump (that every 20 mins) i could’ve spend that time to feed my son which making me sad. Lack of sleep did not help also, I’m with you ! Mentally,i was loosing it so i had to make the best decision for me and my baby.
Thank you for this video. I am 3 weeks postpartum and during pregnancy when people asked me if I was going to breastfeed i always felt pressured to say yes. After I gave birth they taught me how to hold her and make sure she latches. First day and first week i had so much anxiety about breastfeeding , making sure she was eating enough or thinking about pumping also. I was mentally drained. I decided to just bottle feed after a week and it did such a difference to my mental health. i no longer dreaded feeding time. i did feel mom guilt but seeing videos like this is so reassuring that there are other mom like me.
I wasn't breastfed because I'm adopted. I'm alive and well! Keep doing you, girl! I love your videos!
I did it 3 months and decided to quit because of PPD diagnosis and also repetitive case of mastitis. The feeling of “you didn’t try hard enough” was definitely triggered by the negative stigma! My son is 15 months and has never been sick! Not your body, not your business!
People are RIDICULOUSLY uninformed. If you research the history of wet nursing, you’ll see that 80% of women didn’t breastfeed their own children for thousands of years. (Srsly, from like the Greek empire on) It wasn’t until the late late 1800’s that nursing your own children grew in popularity. Most women had their babies sent away to be wet nursed for about three years from another woman. But even that poor wet nurse sent HER babies to another wet nurse so she could do her job. Unfortunately, the lower on the tier list you got, the lower quality infant care you received and those babies mostly didn’t survive.
Ergo, many of the children who actually survived to adulthood were the offspring of wealthy women who never had to breastfeed. Therefore, many many modern women have genetic factors that prevent successful breastfeeding (anatomy, tissue, mental health, etc.) It wasn’t natural selection, it was survival of the richest.
This doesn’t mean that breastfeeding isn’t natural or good, it just means that many of us have the inherited traits from women who never breastfed at all or never had to. The research on wet nursing is FASCINATING and it wasn’t just an Antebellum South kind of thing. It was common practice globally.
I love everything you said about this! Thanks for speaking truth and supporting women :) You're 100% right!
My baby is 2 months old and coming into motherhood I always said I would breastfeed! My baby came 6 weeks early, and I wasn’t making enough milk due to stress on top of that my milk didn’t have enough calories that my baby needed in the NICU to grow - so we had to add supplements to my breast milk, whereas formula had all the benefits in it for my baby
Now I’m exclusively formula feeding and I’m able to be happy and stress free and enjoy my baby - not crying from the pressures of not making milk ; as long as my baby is fed, happy and healthy that’s all I care about ♥️
I agree 1000% with Karen. It really is up to the mom to decide what she feeds her child. My daughter was born with a tie under her tongue so she had a terrible latch. And the lactation nurses kept stressing me out about how I wasnt feeding my child properly because of her bad latch, so I ddcided to pump for her. When she hit six months, my milk was starting to dry out so I had to mix formula with breast milk, and the judgement came pouring in from outsiders who had nothing to do with my daughter. People need to shift their perspective and realize not everyone's bodies are designed the same.
Out of context question: how are you keeping your skin hydrated with the makeup? I have to use two sprays each day just to keep my skin from drying out..😭😭
I agree everyone is different and we should accept other people and there choice. When you mentioned your mental health and breastfeeding, I'm the opposite, I feel like it was good for my mental health to breastfeed. Like you said everyone has a different experience. I love the breastfeeding bond I have shared with my girls. But yes, a fed baby is a happy baby no matter the choice.
I am a baby of 5months baby boy, aftera postpartum I don't know I wasn't comfortable breast feeding so I decided to feed formula milk n still iam feeding formula milk but who ever comes they just backlash me why m I not feeding my breast they are like you are not enjoying your mother hood . It just disturbs me mentally I can't share my feelings to anybody ,now I feel bit of relief sharing with you. Lost of love from state called Arunachal Pradesh (country -india).
I 100% agree that we should support mothers whatever they choose. I was in the opposite situation where everyone around me was pressuring me to supplement with formula, even though my son REFUSED to drink it and would get extremely upset when whenever we tried to give it to him. It caused me so much stress and made me feel like I was a bad mom, even though my son was completely healthy and happy. Like you said nothing in life is one sized fits all, breastfeeding is extremely hard, and formula can be extremely expensive. Women should be supported in whatever choice is best for them and their child.
Hi Karen, I also decided not to breastfeed right after the moment I gave birth. It was also for my mental health and I made the right choice because I was diagnosed with postpartum depression not long after. I did get asked by a few relatives about why I didn’t breastfeed and I was like because I didnt want to (but in my mind I was like its none of your business) 😂.
Karen, thank you so much for sharing this. I can’t imagine how hard it is to share such an intimate side of yourself with the world. My son is 4 months old and we have had the hardest time breastfeeding. I’m still deciding to wean or not and through this journey I learned just how important it is to refrain from judgment, especially to mothers. Mothers will do what is best for their children and that looks different for everyone. Dove is so lucky. Much love, happy Mother’s Day!
I’ve never heard someone say they didn’t do it because of their mental health. I had no idea how much breastfeeding impacted mood. I literally felt unstable and crazy and the minute I stopped breastfeeding, I felt normal and like myself. I don’t know if I’ll do it for baby #2. It’s not worth the experience I went through for baby #1.
Woww! I didn’t know this! I am pumping with my first baby and I am 3 months into it and there are moments where I feel moody, sad, tired and overwhelmed between bottle feeding and breastfeeding. I hope my hormones change when I stop which is soon!
@@TheSaray08 yeah, it could be typical baby blues, but hopefully it gets better for you! Us moms are so selfless!
Because of your video, I did some very brief googling on the topic of formula vs breast milk, and I really like how these medical articles word their advice. :) They do say, like you know, that breast milk is the gold standard and is superior to formula for a number of reasons. So it is certainly the recommended route. BUT, they end by saying that it's ultimately your decision, and your baby can be healthy with formula. So, I like that they give a well-rounded answer on this topic, and it'd be nice if most people addressed it in this way!
I breastfed for almost 4 years...it was extremely difficult! Definitely do what works for you. People don't understand how serious postpartum depression is. I felt the same way on top of excessive hair shedding 😔
I’m putting my opinion and experience. I was pressured to breastfeeding my firstborn until he was four months. With my second I didn’t want to tell my plans I only did a month. With my third I did a week. I was more outspoken and anyone that told me how breastfeeding was best for my baby I would tell them I was doing was best for me for my babies. They were all born within 5 year span. I just had my 4th baby on 2020. I decided to full time breastfeeding it’s hard even tho my other kids are older. I love it but again I’m done. He is seven months I did it because I could. I know people that couldn’t So I felt sad. I could and didn’t wanted to. Listening to you just brought me so many memories. Do whatever make you happy.
Thank you so much for talking about this. 🥰 I feel much better that there's someone supporting the idea of not breastfeeding 🌷
Dove is super content & healthy and that’s what’s matter, you go mama💪💐❤︎
🤍🤍🥰
Karen..you are such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for your honesty and for creating these videos ❤️
Thank you for your encouragement!
Yes!! Thank you for speaking out on not breastfeeding. I too have chose not to breastfeed and feel like I have gotten so much hate because of it. My LO is almost 5 months and is thriving ☺️
It definitely goes both ways. Women who choose to breastfeed get judged as well. I wouldn’t trade the sleepless nights breastfeeding for anything. I wish everyone was a little kinder to new moms!!
You’re an amazing mom Karen❤️🥰 thanks for sharing your journey with us!
Thanks for being a part of it 🥺🤍
My baby never latched so I was grieving the fact that I didnt breastfeeding my baby... Look, I see my friends who breastfeed and its a full time job and their babies are difficult and always hungry, using the boob as a pacifier.., No Im glad I gave formula! My baby is easy and so healthy and strong! She sat at 5 months, crawled at 7 and is running at 15 months
My formula fed baby girl from 2 months, was crawling by 7, walking by 10 months, cruising by 12 🙂 !
I have two boys older one bottle and the second breastfeed and isn’t hard at all breastfeeding i manage easily than my older one .Its hard only the first month but after is easy I never gave a pacifier to my breastfeeding baby and he is so strong and healthy.I don’t want to judge anyone is individual decisions I have done both but will always chosen breastfeeding
Babies breastfeed for more than just hunger! It does not make them difficult.
@@nikaisismejia1830 Yes Is easer actually cos I tried both breastfeeding and bottle and I find much much easier the breastfeeding for everything no need to sterilise to prepare ect..Is just there ready at anytime for the baby to feed and for comfort and bonding to each other just be patient at teh beginning
Babies behaving in ways that are biologically normal does not make them “difficult.” Pacifiers were created to mimic the comfort of the breast. Whether breastfeeding/chestfeeding or formula feeding (or both), babies can have issues with oral restrictions that make it hard for them to eat efficiently.
Yes breastfeeding is a huge commitment, but if everything is *right* (as in, the lactating parent has enough support, knowledge, dedication, and capacity to try; and if the baby can nurse well), breastfeeding only gets easier.
You’re so genuine, at least that’s how you come across. Great job on everything, you’re out here sharing and inspiring us all~ 🙏🥰
I have two friends that weren't able to breastfeed. One because her milk didn't come in, and the other because she needed to undergo cancer treatment immediately after giving birth.
I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant and I'm going to try to breastfeed, but my friend's experience as well as videos like this remove the pressure. 💕
I couldn’t breastfeed because my little one just wouldn’t latch and would cry hysterically.. she chose the bottle straight away. I use to face backlash all the time because she was on formula. I don’t think people understand why. Not every woman can breastfeed for many reasons.. It’s like people think we don’t want to. I always say as long as bub is fed and is healthy that’s all that matters. 😊
This is exactly what I’m going through right now and I agree the people act like we don’t want to i was crushed when I wasn’t able to breastfeed my baby because of the same reason he couldn’t latch
I am 28+1 weeks pregnant & I really needed to see this. I want to breastfeed so bad but due to a certain medication, I am unable too. I start feeling guilty.. almost like I’m choosing this medication over my son’s health/ best interest. But I am slowly learning to accept that my mental health comes first. I need to be the best version of myself to make sure by baby boy gets 100% of me. Thank you for sharing 💙💙
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health! You’re doing great mama 🤍🤍🤍
No need to feel bad about it. If it's any consolation - my mom was unable to breastfeed my youngest sister due to low milk supply. While she breastfed me amd my other sister till 1½ yrs. Despite this my youngest sister is arguably the healthiest of us all and has the strongest bond with mom. Don't let people scare you into thinking you'll be an inadequate mom just cz you don't breastfeed. All the best to you 💜
What is the foundation that you put on 2:17 ?
I have been breastfeeding and pumping for 3 months andddd every day I am quitting lol It has probably been the hardest thing I have ever done! From pressure from my husband (which is now changing and he has been more understanding now) to mom guilt, I can completely understand the choice to bottle feed. It is extremely hard! I am an over producer and breast pain is realll! I haveeee to wake up throughout the night to pump even though my baby is starting to sleep longer so I am tired always. Anywho I have decided that when he turns 4 months I will stop breastfeeding and I am excited! My goal was 6 months (made this goal before he was born) because he was a preemie butttttt my sanity is more important at this point. I am actually excited and content with stopping at 4 months, who knows I might stop short of 4 months.
100% formula - “why are you so lazy?”
Mixed feeding - “did you even try?”
100% Breastfeeding - “your baby is too overly attached to you” [then there is exclusive pumping versus only latching or mix of both, introducing bottles too early or not etc...]
I mixed feed. And now 3 years and 2 kids later, am still breastfeeding and that is my choice and my journey. Some people also think it is weird i still bf my oldest but i honestly dont give a F 😉
You do you. Your baby is healthy and happy 🥰 Happy Mother’s Day 🙏🏻
My doctor said that a rested and happy mother is the most important thing for a baby. That's on that.
Breastfeeding might come naturally for some but for others it takes a lot of hard work. Not only is it physically painful for the first few days when the milk is coming in and baby is learning to latch. As well emotionally when things don’t go smooth. Trying to latch, unsuccessful, then pump for 15 mins just to get 10 mls of milk is exhausting, imagine having to do that 8x a day in the early mornings, late at night through to the middle of the night with a crying baby . Sometimes it works out baby and mother overcomes the first hurdle together and sometimes it doesn’t and some mothers will choose to exclusively pump or use formula. All have it’s pros and cons later on when it comes to routines, sleeping, weaning. Ultimately, choose something that will fit your lifestyle and your mental health.
I am mix feeding my 1.5month son. I was beating myself up for not being able to exclusively breastfeed but I accepted now that this is the healthier choice for me and my baby. I have the same reason as yours - i felt like by doing this, I will be able to give the best version of myself to my son instead of being a stressed out mom not being able to produce milk, that will only make me an unhappy mother infront of my baby. I dont want to bring that energy infront of my child
I felt pressured by family that I should breastfeed. I tried to breastfeed at first but never made enough milk. My baby was even hospitalized the first few days and I lost entire day and nights of sleep because baby constantly was crying from hunger and I didn’t know it was cuz I wasn’t making enough. Later I decided to formula feed I felt it was like a relief. During that time people kept judging me for trying to formula feed instead of breastfeed.
i think its completely alright not to choose breastfeeding, its difficult for some people and pain factor is also there
My daughter is 5yo now and I had such a hard time trying to breast feed her. I was literally bleeding from nipples and it was so painful but my mom was on top of me telling me what to do. I was also told that if it hurts that means it’s working. I was traumatized after a month of “breastfeeding” that I decided that if I was to have another baby, breastfeeding it’s not even a option for me 🙅🏻♀️
Thank you for talking about your decision not to breast feed. Honestly I hadn’t thought much about it before my now almost 8 month old was born. I deal with anxiety and I think it would have helped me a lot to formula feed! Especially during that newborn phase. Thanks again for talking about this!
My mom only breastfed me and my sister for 2 months then gave us formula right after and we turned out fine. Only ever sick once a year. She told us that whatever advice other people gave when it comes to anything involving our lives, especially when becoming a mother ourselves, it was only ever advice and we are in no way obligated to follow any of it. In the end, it's what you think is best for yourself and your baby. Happy mommy, happy baby :))
Neither one of my boys could latch. I was devastated with my first son because my husband thought I was trying hard enough and it really wasn’t my fault, it turned out both of my sons had a thick frenulum and that’s what caused them not to be able to latch. It caused my younger son to have a speech issues and needed to have a frenulectomy. The best thing that ever happened was my first son’s pediatrician telling me that my son was happy and healthy whether I breastfed or bottle fed and to concentrate on being the best mom I could. Where his nutrition came from did not matter. I thank god for him everyday. He helped me realize that all the pressure I was placing on myself to breastfeed was absolutely unnecessary and he helped my husband to be more supportive in my decision to just bottle feed.
I’m almost 3 months into breastfeeding and I’m trying my best 😅 my supply is all over the place lol My daughter’s pediatrician actually told me that a lot of mothers aren’t breastfeeding these days and I’m about ready to join the train lol thank you for this 😌
Please think about your child first. Breastfeeding is the way we are supposed to bond and nurture and feed our babies for a reason. Your supply isn’t “all over the place” your supply is the way it is because your daughter needs different caloric or nutrients or volume of milk and your body will adjust and give what your baby needs at each feeding. If you’re still not feeling confident in your breastfeeding journey, which is totally normal, I would advise getting the help of a lactation consultant, or your local llli.org
@@beefstew4721 stop putting pressure on people, especially below the video that tries to normalise choosing not to breastfeed…
i loved this so much
I have a TikTok on my IG showing how I do my eyeliner! 😍
My daughter just turned 11 months. I originally did not want to breastfeed then I ended up breast feeding. But the key word is that I was the one who got to decide. Thanks for sharing mama
Amazing! What formula did you use
In this day and age, anything one posts is open to judgment and criticism. It’s human nature for people to have opinions and we can’t control what others express towards. We gotta focus on what we can control. And you are financially secure and Dove will always be bed. A fed baby is most important. 💜
Karen you are such a BEAUTY with or without makeup !! SLAYYY QUEEEN, and don’t let no haters tell you ANY TYPE of way on how to raise your baby!!! Dove is such a HAPPY, CUTE girl, CLEARLY mommy knows best🙌👍🏼♥️
Thank you love!! Your comment made me SMILE!
@@iamkareno It's only the truth!! (^-^)
My mom could not breastfeed us enough bc of our tongue positions and I have to say my immunity is bomb af lol Breastfeeding does not influence the happiness or anything in a baby other than their health. For any new moms on the block, if you can breastfeed, as long as you try to feed the baby for the first two weeks, you can be sure that you helped your baby much more than if you just feed them the following 3-6 months as the biggest reason why breastfeeding is important is the immunity of the baby and the most compounds needed for the building of it are contained in the colostrum, which is yellowish and comes out the first week or two before the white milk. Some women skip the colostrum and feed only the milk after it bc they don't know that colostrum is the most important part of breastfeeding, so don't do that. From a scientific standpoint it is needed to breastfeed from 3 up to 6 months, but work, mental health and other things do come in between and should be a factor too. Also, don't breastfeed your child over 6 months as that is completely pointless health-wise as at already 3 months you need to introduce other foods along with the milk to have a healthy child. There are also many more ways to be close to your child, too, for any person being hung up on the idea that is the only way to build a bond with your child hanging on your boobs. Sorry, not sorry.
No one but you should have an opinion on this! It’s your body, your breast, your life and people who disagree should mind their own business
what kind of foundation is Karen using - does anyone know :)
I only breastfed for a few days because I was experiencing what I think was postpartum depression and I felt like I couldn't take care of my baby if I didn't make things easier on myself. People have expressed to me that they don't like my decision but they obviously never experienced postpartum depression to the extent that I did if they cannot empathize.
I fully support your decision because I have three children, my youngest being the same as your own and my family has pressure to breastfeed with all my children. Although I tried my longest to breastfeed my 3rd child, my pregnancy and postpartum made it very difficult to do so. My youngest is healthier because I chose to stop, not forcing her to take my stressed out milk and deprive her because I was not producing enough milk as is. People really need to see even a breastfed child can be sick and it’s every parents own choice how to raise them! They need a healthy happy parent to become a healthy happy child! You’re doing a great job!
I'm not a mom but I've already pre-decided for now that breastfeeding is not for me. I saw my sister do it for both her kids and although it's cool she was always complaining about how much her boobies hurt and whenever the babies weren't around she needed to use her breaks at work to pump. Plus I love the idea of my husband being able to bond with nursing our baby via bottles more