@@Leney735 “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27
Sometimes crying isn’t about the person, sometimes it’s about letting yourself down and dealing with things you never thought you would have dealt with. So crying isn’t for them, it’s for you! Stay strong 💕
I hate when men call women crazy to avoid taking accountability. He sounds like a narcissist. Good for you for going to therapy and knowing your worth!! 💜
Pray, God is the only solution trust in God and keep going... You can you have that potential... It's all part off life ups & downs... Be strong always still it reflect in ur videos.... All learn from life take it positive side, lessons go on!
You legitimately had no obligation to tell us any of this, and yet you did. That's a lot of bravery and transparency on your part with a lot of people who are basically strangers to you. While that may not always be a good thing, I think it's a good thing in this community you've built for yourself. You've gathered a community of people who look at you like their big sister. And just like you've always been there for us to give us tips on life and beauty, we'll be here for you to support you in moving on from all this turmoil you've just lived through ❤️ stay strong, Setty. You're more than just a gorgeous face; your personality and spirit are just as beautiful!
This is exactly what I needed right now cuz I feel like am in a toxic relationship and am scared to be alone. Been with him for almost 7 years am 26yrs now. Am breaking I don’t trust him and I still with him..
@@lauraembalo I can't imagine what you must have gone through. Seven years is a long time, but it's never too late to get out of it. You're strong. Being alone is a valid fear, I understand. But just like Setty said, over time, you'll start loving yourself, and you'll start feeling more comfortable with yourself ❤️ you WILL get through this. You are more than you think. This relationship can't and won't define your life. I hope the break-up goes well 🙏🏼 be safe!
Girl!!! I just left my ex last week and you described my entire relationship with him! He was the perfect guy on paper! He always conveniently had an excuse or an explanation for why he cussed me out or why he would purposely make me feel bad. He also asked me to move in with him. He gave me a ring and I'm so glad I didn't move in with him. He drained my energy and drained me of my happiness. This video was on point for me. He thought not cheating on me made him the perfect boyfriend but he treated me poorly. Im sorry you went through that, but Im so happy that you got out of the situation.
My ex thought that because he didn't hit me he was a good guy. He verbally and emotionally abused me in a span of two months oh gosh...I blocked him it's been two weeks now. I'm going through withdrawal symptoms and anxiety problems but I'm trying to figure this out as I go
I would never have guessed that your relationship was toxic. I was also in a very toxic relationship it takes a long time to get over it and heal specially the longer you’ve been in the toxicity. You got this you will feel so strong, so beautiful and so much in your power within time. Keep your chin up high and take each day as it comes 🥰
@@MiszCandiiLadii i didn’t really pay much attention to him tbh but with the video and all the comments saying he acted like a narcissist/ is one im definitely not doubting it 😳
‘Your reality - Award winning short film on gas lighting’ Its a great film about things like this. I’m glad lisette got out. Relationships like this are hard and a Mind fuck. *Unsolicited*! But I feel the same about the TH-camr Sarai Jones and her bf 😵💫 idk they’re relationship but it’s the little signs My partner now isn’t a know it all, admits his faults, and truly listens and love to hear what have to say - Changes his action rather than just words.
Just because he was toxic doesn't mean it will hurt any less or feel any less real! It's totally okay to feel upset about someone who hurt you. Love you
I’m trying to leave a toxic one sided relationship rn and everyday my progress starts over and it makes me feel so pathetic and broken but listening to you and hearing your words gives me hope and a guide to do better and hopefully move on
Meee rn…it’s like okay I can be without him but as soon as that phone rings I pick it up and fall back into his trap and he knows how to keep me like that. I feel like that’s why he feels like he can keep doin it and he starts takin advantage 🤦🏾♀️
completely. Some guys are so worthless. They truly need direction. It makes me realize how lost MEN are now and why truly having a relationship with God is so important.
Watching Zo yesterday he said. " Believe, half of what he says and ALL of what he shows you." I am happy you've gotten out of that relationship and wish you the best on this new path of life.
My boyfriend of 4 years recently ghosted me, it’s been a week without hearing from him. I basically gave him an ultimatum that we go to therapy and work on our issues or the relationship is going to have to end. He did not reply and hasn’t replied since. No response is a response. Now I’m working on loving myself. When I know how much love I can give, it makes me stronger. Someone who deserves that love will receive it, but I’m going to have to receive it in return. No more unmatched energy ladies 🥳 here’s to high standards, never be too understanding of your mediocre boyfriend.
You have such a great mindset regarding what happened. Ghosting a significant other after that long must be very upsetting and confusing. I hope you heal, grow and find someone in your life that gives you what you deserve!
As someone 2 weeks out of a toxic relationship, thank you for this video. Thank you for speaking your truth. This is one of those moment affirming that, “I’m not crazy” moment.
Girl thank you!!! My ex got a whole female pregnant and I was too scared to leave his toxic butt!!! This is just what I needed since we just broke up and I’ve been depressed
@@HeyWonderSally it’s my fault, he was cheating on me for 3 years and I kept believing it would change, next thing Ik they live together and she’s prepaid he still convinced me to stay with him
@@kayyrizma8503 it’s not you’re fault. You tried to see the best in him and he didn’t want to do better. Yea like she said it’s hard to end them and get out and stay out. 🤍I just ended mine like just now😭. I wish I would have left months ago when he first did something that hurt me. But We are both really young (teenagers) so I’m not going to dwell on it anymore and I’m going to do better. I wish you all the best though. Don’t worry about them they deserve each other and you deserve more than what he could offer.
I'm hysterical crying as I type this because almost everything you're saying is true for me! It's so hard to leave when you've put in time. It's been 7 years for me, no proposal. I've had this sadness inside of me that is affecting every part of my life. I'm in so much pain. I'm finally at a place where I see the relationship for what it is and not the potential of what it can be. It's so tough though. I'm choosing me and finally can see more clearly. I have no idea what is next or how I will survive outside of the relationship but I know my life can be better. I have faith that there will be sunshine again that the constant anxiety, second guessing myself, trying to talk about with him and being shut down is just exhausting. It is not right and sometimes it takes a few years to truly get to the place of accepting that something is no longer for you. In the beginning it is crucial to not have blinders on and not get too excited for all of the love and beautiful experiences someone shares and offers you. Truly look at the life they live, the life you live, your goals and aspirations before committing and deciding to build with someone. Wow...I can't believe how much your video has brought so many emotions up for me in a good way. Thank you for sharing your story and for being so vulnerable. It's so hard to find support when going through these things.
i was in a toxic relationship for a year and was watching this like “this is me”. i’m so happy for us, that we’re out and that we know we deserve better side note- ok vocals!!
I just have to tell you that this is the most respectful, mature, and well spoken break up video I have ever watched. Like no passive aggressiveness, no smack talking - just honest truth. I really commend you for making it through your situation and coming out stronger, and getting therapy. I can tell you're a very strong woman and I see an even brighter future for you. Everything you said is very true as well and toxic relationships are so unbelievably difficult to stop, just such a mental game. You're a rock star and thank you for being so open. 💗
Luhhsetty you literally are the prize, pretty soon you won’t feel the pain anymore. Stay in your bag don’t date unnecessarily date for purpose. If he don’t fit the list keep it pushing.
I broke down watching this video because I didn't realize how toxic my relationship was until we broke up. Everything you said was so relatable and I feel like writing down reasons why this person wasn't a great partner has helped me moved on, EX: immature, narcissist, said one thing acted another, all in all a lot of toxic things. Thank you for sharing :)
Let yourself cry. Saying, "don't cry" doesn't allow u to feel the full breadth of the loss of the relationship. It is ok because u loved him. The weight of what he did is for him to carry. You are awesome ❤ and healing will come.
Although I don’t like that this happened to you, I loved this video! Love seeing this vulnerable side of you. You hit so many 100% true points!!! Sounds like Narcissist 101 😖 Congratulations on getting OUT! That is the HARDEST part! But now that we’re focusing on the new stronger you… 🗣 WHEN ARE YOU DROPPING THE ALBUM!?! Just gonna sneak in the VOCALS!?! Who is she!? 🤯🥰👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤️
You know it’s a narcissist when they say “ I’m the best thing that happen to you” or “I’m just telling something no one else will” when it’s something disrespectful that’s not even true
It comes a time in a woman's life when she has to admit the truth to herself (mask off!!) and see the situation for what it is and always trust your intuition that's your backbone. Never base your self worth on how a man is treating you!! . You know your worth. If a man is not treating you right or giving you the love you deserve walk!!! Your story is a inspiration to millions in the same situation. Preach sista.
You are such a smart girl 💛 I’m so proud of you ! I’ve been in that exact same relationship plus secret cheating. I’m proud of you for getting out when you did. you are stronger than I ❤️❤️ so proud of you xoxo
Multiple studies have shown that couples who dont live together before marriage have a smaller divorce rate. To each their own but ive seen so many girls heartbroken because they get with their bf, move in together, build a life, and then the relationship goes sour and because their lives are too intertwined they will make excuses to stay. You dont not have to live with your bf/gf just because you're together. Keep your independence until you marry this inidividual
*Tell me why I saw this video and on the same day I put it in my watch later playlist I broke up with my bf of three years as well. Our relationship was toxic and I didn’t want to admit that it was but it was. Literally within the first few minutes of this video where you said it was three years, toxic, not telling family and loosing yourself I gasped because that’s how exactly it was for me. We broke up yesterday after so many breakups and getting back together since July which really showed how deep the cracks in our relationship were. And now I’m here on my lunch break at work trying not to cry while I’m at work and I decided to watch your video . God literally comes in mysterious ways I needed this video omg*
Love how real and transparent you are with your followers even when you don't need to. Hope things will get better for you big sis and you'll someday find someone who's worthy of you 💓💓
Watching lisette for so many years I could tell she wasn’t the same, the same glow, the same energy, not on her grind lately even the cleaning video I was like 😲 this is not lisette!!! I’m so happy for you baby 💖
This hits home !. This is me for the second time. It seem like my relationships is repeating itself. This time when the veil is lifted …it will stay off. For the first time in my life living alone with me and my daughter will never be a lonely place , it will be a relief 🥲. For the first time I will be living for me. Don’t take your peace for granted. Let God speak to you and your path will be a gorgeous journey. When everything seems perfect and something feels off .. it’s off. Your instinct will never mislead you. Thank you for message love. 💕
I've watched you since I was about 14 I am now going on 22. Your beauty, the way you carry yourself, and the peace I get from watching your page always brought me some form of happiness. You were like the big sis I always wanted. I can see that Jesus Christ has His Love over you. Thank you for your transparency. Stay blessed Setty you're loved.
Your video gave me so much insight on my past toxic relationship. He was so manipulative, emotionally unavailable, and lied. The last straw for me was catching him in a big lie. A lie that took me several months to gain trust for him to just do it again. Thank you for this video.
I’ve definitely got hit with the “you’ll never find a man like me blah blah blah”. My response: “And that’s the point. I don’t want another guy like you. Thanks for understanding my assignment. 😂”
my ex also, told me " you will never find someone like me" like really ur not even great lmaooo. some dudes are so full of themselves that it makes me sick. you live and you learn. the next relationship will be better and the red flags you will see them crystal clear if there are any. then you won't waste time in deciding if you should stay or leave the person. i wish you well. breakups are not easy. ive been there girl. but it does get better!!!!
I’m sitting in class right now watching this video fighting my tears. Literally this morning I let go of a 3+ year relationship. He was doing things that I was honestly not ok with and I expressed that to him multiple times and he never changed. But Lisette is so right you don’t see that what their doing is wrong until you really open your eyes. I had to let him go no matter how much I loved him cause I don’t feel it was fair to myself to beg someone to do different but deep down know they will never change. I had to let go for myself. It’s sad but it happens and this video is definitely what I needed.
Omg just got out of a narcissistic relationship myself a few days ago. This video is right on time. Thank you for sharing your story. There needs to be more awareness to narcissistic partners.
3:25 - 3:42 I’ve literally thought all those things..............You just confirmed what I’ve been scared to admit to myself for a long time. Thank you for this!
He always seemed “too good to be true” from what I could tell in videos. Glad you started therapy and are doing better! I started this year as well and I love it so much!
I really needed this. I had to end a two year relationship recently due to a boundary being crossed that I refused to negotiate on. Always was a non-negotiatable, but I felt so alone in this breakup. And all of the things you mentioned crossed my mind. The behaviors, separating from family, not speaking with them or friends about the relationship anymore, questioning myself and if I'm being too hard on the other person. I know I wasn't, and I know this isn't on me this time. And that it's okay to go separate ways. I'm young, I have so much to do, so much to discover about myself, so much to explore in the world. The world isn't ending bevause my relationship did. And I will feel "okay" again as time goes on and I find myself again. Thank you
That’s why they say never think someone’s relationship is as good as it looks. People go through things some are toxic than others and some are just about coming to an agreement. It’s ok girl you got this. I know you will get through because u got out of it and didn’t let it continue to linger. ❤️❤️
LISTENNNN, you went way beyond hitting the nail on the head. My situation-ship ended because I was loosing myself, I realized I lacked love for myself and felt incapable of taking care of me. I felt sadness, torture and unlovable because this person was okay with the level of love he was giving me. I wanted more and compared now to the history we had and thought it was me every time. Finally choosing me and sticking to my guns one day at a time. I agree, having a coach and therapist is NECESSARY. Thanks for sharing and reminding me I made the right decision to leave
When you said loving someone shouldn’t cost you your peace I felt thattt!! so true! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story 🥰 wishing you a quick and healthy healing process
I hope you heal and that all the pain you’ve endured turns into a beautiful future for you, filled with independence, self love and self care. We’re here to support you and back you up all the way!!!!
I remember feeling nauseous allll the time during my last relationship. The mind games and manipulation will slowly drive you insane! So happy you're out of that situation and on the road to healing 🖤
❗️Toxic relationships should never be tolerated ❗️ I was in a toxic relationship for 4 and a half years and it was a matter of life or death! Had it not been prayer, I think I would have died. I was a teenager, about to enter my 20s and he took advantage of my softness and vulnerability. I’m so glad that I left. I thank God every time I remember the relationship. God literally pulled me out when I asked Him to help me. Don’t waste time when you see that the relationship is toxic. Get help from friends and family and pray! Prayer works! The healing process isn’t always easy but it is totally worth it 💖
Toxic relationships robs you of your peace. Your emotions go crazy. The person may never acknowledge their flaws. In my case he wanted complete control of me without putting any effort into the relationship.
@@Th3lite That’s so true and I’m really sorry that you went through such hardship with a person who is undeserving of your beauty (both inward and outward). Unfortunately, that is the mindset of most narcissists. They believe in having full control without putting any valuable effort in the relationship, causing their victim’s mental, spiritual and physical to deteriorate.
The toughest part of my breakup was realizing I didn’t go with my gut instincts and dubbed is as maybe I was tripping. But I never was and pretty much let myself down. Never let anyone think you’re crazy when you feel a certain way bc you’re not!
Communication is 100% the foundation of a relationship. I'm glad you figured that out and can help share to people; It's important. I am happy for you!
Everything you’re saying is sooo insanely relatable!!!! I got out of my toxic relationship 9 months ago & it’s honestly been really hard. But since 2 months I’m starting to feel like myself again & it’s the best feeling ever!! I’m finally happy again :-) And I’m so relieved.
Lisette, thank you for this. I watched this when you initially posted it years ago. I'm watching it again in tears while navigating a similar situation currently. Thank you for using your voice to empower, empathize, and connect. Those of us going through, or having gone through similar situations, understand the importance of being able to connect with other strong women and to not feel so alone. Most importantly, to feel seen, heard, and validated. It's painful, but I know eventually, it will all be ok...Thank you again!!!❤❤❤
Sis this was a whole Sermon!!!!!! Ive been married for ten years and i think you just gave the best advice any person who wants to be in a committed relationship should consider and implement, and those dating should consider.
I was with a narcissist for 9 years . This is all too familiar. People will never understand being with a narcissist, as those of us that had to deal with one . It's the worst kind of relationship to be in! So mentally exhausting, we start to feel like we're crazy ! Then there's trauma bonding. Being addicted to a person ! So hard to get out of , but it is possible! I never thought I'd get over it . Chin up!!
I'm so glad you posted this. I recently left my ex of 3 years finally and it's emotionally hard but needed. He was so toxic and drained me so much that my parents and brothers started to notice I wasn't the same. I never had a man make me cry every single day and crazy part is... he didn't care. I would distance myself from friends and family as well and he distracted me to the point where I lost myself. It's been over week and I'm starting to feel like me again. But some nights are harder than others.
@@jimesin i know how you feel, im going through a breakup up as of a few days and im in agony and don’t know what to do with myself. he broke up with me too and i feel so unwanted and disgusting. i just want him to love me…
mommy, never live with a man your not married to. keep them in their place. they make you be a wife without being a wife. don’t cry girl, your new man is on his way. the toxic stuff happens when they get sprung and crazy. i’m married and good men exit i promise. we support you girl. It’s gets better💕💕💕💕
This this & this. I’ve done it once and I will never do it again unless i am legally married. It’s just too much. Now I’m in a committed relationship and we live separately and we are doing it the godly way by practicing celibacy and keeping him first! Best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
Girl... I am Proud of you! I was in a toxic marriage for almost 12 years. I went through every kind of abuse you can think of. It was hard to end it. I literally had to act like that person was dead to me. People are always like, why'd you stay so long?! Like, wtf?! It can be hard to see what's up when your in it. I felt this. Be good to yourself, hold your family close, distance yourself from people who would cause you Mentally or Physically harm. Pray. You are Loved! You are Strong! You are Beautiful!
To allow yourself to be vulnerable and to talk about something personal, hard, and something you’ve endured for so long, I commend you for being this open and strong. You’ve come along and pushed through. ✊🏼💓 May you take the time you need to heal and to overcome that chapter of your life. Sending you so much love and support!! 🥺❤️
This is why people online need to stop the ✨ goals ✨ posts cause you don’t know what the woman (cause it’s usually the woman suffering) is going through! Lisette, I went through a very toxic and abusive relationship like you. I left after a year and hated myself for waiting that long but I had to stop doing that and be happy I left anyway. I am a DSBW and he was white. People were obsessed with the dynamic while I was always confused and crying waiting for him to change. He was a sociopathic narcissist and I was also scared to leave... didn’t know what he was capable of but in God’s name, I am still here! I’m glad you left that toxic relationship. I lost a good 41 pounds, found new hobbies, and am getting to know new people. I have been relieved since I left him and he’s blocked everywhere. Don’t stay with someone who does the silent treatment, makes you confused, belittles you, and all things abusive. Listen to your intuition always (like you said). Love this video. You’re helping many women!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Took me 3 years to actually feel love for another person after my toxic breakup. Definitely get out sooner than later and fall back in love with yourself. Easier said than done, but one day you’ll realize how far you’ve come and you’ll feel so GOOD knowing you got over it when it felt impossible to move on! Keep your head up girl, time heals all💜
Thanks for making this video. I just got out of a toxic relationship. We were together for 3 years as well and it was an awful breakup. I felt the same way. I was mentally drained and tired. I felt like he was taking advantage of me but I kept making excuses. I connected so much with this video
i love you. i never had a mother figure or big sister type of person i could count on to give me advice on things. ever since i found your vids, my whole life has changed. you’ve helped me so much. I LOVE YOUUU u deserve so much more and better.
we’re all here for you hun! i’m sorry you had to go through this but you take as much as you need to heal internally so that way you can glow externally! i love you, let’s be strong together 💗✨
First and foremost thank you for starting of the video stating, “why am I crying over someone who doesn’t care about me”. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share this with us. It took me 2 months as well to be able to stop crying over my break up. It’s hard to realize how someone’s words don’t match up with their actions and all the red flags that we seem to just ignore because we so badly want to give someone a chance. Seeing how so many women go through this doesn’t make you feel 100% alone when you deal with someone who has narcissistic tendencies and who are toxic. Thank you for stating that you wanted closure, but you realized their actions and your feelings after the relationship was your closure. Thank you for sharing this with us. ❤️❤️
Toxic relationships are so draining. I was in one myself for 4 years damn near five! People don’t understand that it’s so hard to get out even if you know that you need to. Praying for your strength in this time I’m 2 years out of my relationship and this self love journey is deff one to remember.
I have been following you since you were in high school. You are a beautiful person, with solid values and a bounce back personality. Always remember, you are not the same person that walk into this experience. You have grown and taken notes. Good for you for having the insight to recognize what is best for you. God bless you and keep you. Well done! ❤️
tell me about it!!! My mom is low-key a narcissist too, and my ex!! Toxic, silent treatment, probably full of himself or vulnerable so he played the victim all the time 🙄 could never resolve arguments, shifted blame to me=gaslighting. HORRIBLE, but u learn so much
Mine sound EXACTLY as her. Every word she said. His favorite phrase you are over react. So im over react when i say you telling me to go find a brain hurts me? My sister is narcissist i think. Its always EVERYONE else fault for everything. Literally.
Everything you said was on point! A lot of people don’t know themselves so they don’t know what boundaries to set. We should try to learn and know ourselves as much as possible before we get into relationships 💕
Woooo that was a whole message right there!! Like, how can we really know what we truly need in life, if we don't truly know who we are and love ourselves the best we can first? I believe that if we tried outloving our own selves, it would inevitably attract only the ones who are willing and able to love us from that SPECIAL level. Time has taught me that these guys can see and sense when we're looking for love to fill voids, vs when we're looking for someone to match our best. They see us as vulnerable and as prey. They lurk, they pounce, and we accept just because it feels good to feel wanted and seen finally by a "man" with "good intentions." They see our brokenness.. Then with time, lo and behold, that sheep is actually a wolf! When we love ourselves first, we set a standard that speaks volumes through just our presence, and that kind of POWER will scare off any wolves because they're really all bark! They always pick on the women, but all cool with all the men! Cowards!! I dare any woman reading this to compete with yourself to love yourself more, and don't be afraid to let someone COMPLETELY go, so you can start dating YOU!!
He sounds like a narcissist. I've been there before and those statements he said were definitely triggering for me. Thanks for this talk I really needed this. Love your transparency.
I definitely understand 🥲where you coming from, I was in a toxic long term relationship for 9 years and we lived together and everything. He was so controlling and would talk down on women. He was so disrespectful and narcissistic! He was also emotional unavailable, I was in denial as well. It was like I was living in a bubble keep your head up sis! Things will turn around in your favor
6:57 it’s the gaslighting for me!!! How odd that the patterns are almost always the same!!!! I’m glad you ended it girl!! I wish you a full and complete recovery from this past relationship 🙏🏾♥️
I needed this video when I was in college!Wasted 3 years in a toxic relationship as well, I should have talked to someone about what was going on way sooner and ended that awful relationship before 3 years of unhappiness . The signs are always there, I was holding onto the hope that things would get better but they didn’t. Thanks for this video and transparency!
Just broke up with my bf. I needed this. Literally needed to hear every single word. What you said is exactly what I’ve been feeling, I almost cried. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. My 3 year relationship just ended a few days ago. I feel like I'm going crazy but I realize that I contributed to a lot of the things that went wrong in my relationship but it wasn't just me. I felt like I lost myself and things go worse and worse. He made it seems like everything was my fault, I'm starting to believe that but there were things that he did that I didn't like as well and he wasn't always a nice person or in a good mood which I understand but never wanted to talk. I've learned a lot and I still love him but I need to work on myself and be by myself. Much love to everyone reading this ❤️
I never thought the relationship was perfect. Social media taught me that we never know what goes on behind closed doors. Honestly he seemed a little too perfect when he was in your videos and that was a red flag to me. I am glad you were able to see your worth eventually and get out. You will find a man that treats you the way you deserve!
Wow! This is so comforting I was dealing with this for almost 3 years and while I was in it I was suffering in silence constantly questioning myself living in a constant state of confusion … LADIES THIS IS NOT NORMAL , create a plan and get out it if you stay it will cost your sanity
Yes girl I always tell my friends to stop moving in with their boyfriends so quickly, it will be less than a year and they move in and it always turns out horrible. Don’t live together without a ring otherwise you’re just a roommate. Marriage or no moving in, studies show living together before marriage leads to higher divorce rates
I am so sorry that you went through this. You are so beautiful, kind, caring, creative and strong. You didn't deserve none of what you have went through. You deserve a man that will treat you right. Remember, you are a queen. Don't forget your worth and value.
I don’t think you acc realise how close to home this is for so many women and myself. I acc appreciate when women talk about this . I pray you feel a lot better and don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself time to cry and heal girl ❤️
Hi girlie, the way your situation is so similar to mine is unbelievable. I moved out on my own for the first time, met someone, he moved in with me 6 months later. After three years of being together, he left a month and a half ago. It was very painful at first but now I finally realized it was the best thing he could’ve done for me. I felt just like you… and I would’ve never walked away. Thank you for sharing this. Videos like yours are truly coming in clutch helping me heal 🫶🏻
My ex came back to me a few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back. Also attracting SP, soulmate, and removing Third parties which works within 48hours...
I feel this. I moved in with my partner after about year of dating and it was ROUGH in the beginning. We couldn't talk on the phone with out fighting. I considered if I was the toxic one in our relationship and of we should even be together. Eventually we decided we would move mountains to be together bc the love was there. We went through a period of having hour+ talks of what was going on between us and going back through situations to understand how the other felt and where the problem/miscommunication was. Our communication became so much better and our relationship is so healthy now. And this year will be our 5th year together. I know this doesn't work for everyone. But I hope all of you make it out of your bad situations and do what you need for yourself.
I agree with this . communication is key .when the fianc'e and myself go through hard times or are constantly arguing ,we just realize that our communication has been off and we spend hours talking and figuring things out together . This truly works .
This was an exceptional video. You expressed yourself like an eloquent adult and I really appreciated your perspective. As you stated, a toxic relationship can be with family, a partner, parent etc. You’re going to help so many people with this video.
Thank you so much for this video…I just got out of a toxic relationship tonight and this video was well needed…I was hearing the saying “you will never find another guy like me” and “you won’t find another guy that treats you better than me”…so I basically had to end that relationship because I know that I deserve better and I am just focusing on what makes me happy as well as figuring out myself…self-love is the best love
“Loving someone shouldn’t cost you your peace” - a whole word.
❗️❗️❗️❗️
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Speak on it!
Message
Amen
“Why am I crying about someone that don’t care about me!” Ugh so relatable
Yup! I’ve Been crying since last week. Shit hurts yow
@@Ask4Alli I’m so sorry! I found healing, and I’m praying you will too! 💙
Literally me crying myself to sleep last night. I’m in bed now getting all emotional again and then this video popped up.
@@Leney735 I hope our hearts receive the healing we deserve. Air hugs ❤️❤️❤️
@@Leney735 “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27
Sometimes crying isn’t about the person, sometimes it’s about letting yourself down and dealing with things you never thought you would have dealt with. So crying isn’t for them, it’s for you! Stay strong 💕
I love this comment
Me too I love this comment b/c it’s so true!!
YESS!!
SO TRUE
💯
To all my ladies leaving unhealthy relationships - I'M PROUD OF YOU and I love you and I support you.
Thank u for this honey
Note to self: Don’t get too comfortable in a relationship. Remember your own relationship goals and know your finish line.
I ended my 9 year relationship two days ago and came across this video. Thank you for validating all of my thoughts and all of my choices.
The years you lost will be replaced with better ones ahead 💕💐
How old are u?
@@luliyashmendi5809 25?
@@alexisd2379 ohhh, u are young man❤️❤️❤️🥺. Live ur life and be ecstatic love.
@alexis D I also just ended a 9 year long relationship. What's the update ?
“ you’ll never find someone like me” … Well that’s the point
Lmao right, like if I wanted to then I would just stay with you and not waste my time
I told my ex this once, and I'm actually not sorry because he was everything she just described her ex was.
Or another one “ I can find someone better then you, you’re not special” … then go find them wth 🙄
Yk what he meant tho🤣
Why do they ALWAYS say that wth does that even mean???
"why am I crying about somebody that don't care about me" I feel you girl
❤️❤️❤️ yassss
Mannnn I be asking myself this all the time 🤦🏽♀️ can’t wait till that’s over
Asking myself this now
true but easier said than done. ugh idk what to do with myself and i want to text him so badly to gain closure… it just doesn’t feel real
Cz thy once did
I hate when men call women crazy to avoid taking accountability. He sounds like a narcissist. Good for you for going to therapy and knowing your worth!! 💜
Yes definitely a narcissists favorite thing to call women when being confronted about something is crazy!!
slayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yeahh
DAMN she kept it 100. She didn’t need to go this hard, she did it for us. To help us not to make the same mistakes 🥺❤️
Pray, God is the only solution trust in God and keep going... You can you have that potential... It's all part off life ups & downs... Be strong always still it reflect in ur videos.... All learn from life take it positive side, lessons go on!
@Naiki Neshae deadass am gonna cry☹️🥺❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️
You legitimately had no obligation to tell us any of this, and yet you did. That's a lot of bravery and transparency on your part with a lot of people who are basically strangers to you. While that may not always be a good thing, I think it's a good thing in this community you've built for yourself. You've gathered a community of people who look at you like their big sister. And just like you've always been there for us to give us tips on life and beauty, we'll be here for you to support you in moving on from all this turmoil you've just lived through ❤️ stay strong, Setty. You're more than just a gorgeous face; your personality and spirit are just as beautiful!
Yes Luhhsetty You. Are. Amazing!
This is exactly what I needed right now cuz I feel like am in a toxic relationship and am scared to be alone. Been with him for almost 7 years am 26yrs now. Am breaking I don’t trust him and I still with him..
Amen
@@lauraembalo I can't imagine what you must have gone through. Seven years is a long time, but it's never too late to get out of it. You're strong. Being alone is a valid fear, I understand. But just like Setty said, over time, you'll start loving yourself, and you'll start feeling more comfortable with yourself ❤️ you WILL get through this. You are more than you think. This relationship can't and won't define your life. I hope the break-up goes well 🙏🏼 be safe!
Sometimes you just really want to let it out.
Girl!!! I just left my ex last week and you described my entire relationship with him! He was the perfect guy on paper! He always conveniently had an excuse or an explanation for why he cussed me out or why he would purposely make me feel bad. He also asked me to move in with him. He gave me a ring and I'm so glad I didn't move in with him. He drained my energy and drained me of my happiness. This video was on point for me. He thought not cheating on me made him the perfect boyfriend but he treated me poorly. Im sorry you went through that, but Im so happy that you got out of the situation.
My ex thought that because he didn't hit me he was a good guy. He verbally and emotionally abused me in a span of two months oh gosh...I blocked him it's been two weeks now. I'm going through withdrawal symptoms and anxiety problems but I'm trying to figure this out as I go
literally went through the exact same thing. wild
Damn I guess I’m not the only one going through a heart break from a broken situation
Congratulations. Please pray for me too.😞
What was his sign?
I would never have guessed that your relationship was toxic. I was also in a very toxic relationship it takes a long time to get over it and heal specially the longer you’ve been in the toxicity. You got this you will feel so strong, so beautiful and so much in your power within time. Keep your chin up high and take each day as it comes 🥰
I could tell… He seemed narcissistic and full of himself but wanted to show sweet on camera.
I was in a toxic relationship w a guy like this as well..
@@MiszCandiiLadii i didn’t really pay much attention to him tbh but with the video and all the comments saying he acted like a narcissist/ is one im definitely not doubting it 😳
@@Lol-mw1mr this video, there’s a lot in it that gives hints to what he was like with her
@@MiszCandiiLadii Agreed. I could tell right off the bat!
‘Your reality - Award winning short film on gas lighting’
Its a great film about things like this. I’m glad lisette got out. Relationships like this are hard and a Mind fuck.
*Unsolicited*!
But I feel the same about the TH-camr Sarai Jones and her bf 😵💫 idk they’re relationship but it’s the little signs
My partner now isn’t a know it all, admits his faults, and truly listens and love to hear what have to say - Changes his action rather than just words.
Just because he was toxic doesn't mean it will hurt any less or feel any less real! It's totally okay to feel upset about someone who hurt you. Love you
I agree it’s sometimes not the person it’s the LOSS that hurts.
Exactly.
I’m trying to leave a toxic one sided relationship rn and everyday my progress starts over and it makes me feel so pathetic and broken but listening to you and hearing your words gives me hope and a guide to do better and hopefully move on
@Carolyn Kyle I did and it was a very bumpy road but things are better now and we’re back together
Meee rn…it’s like okay I can be without him but as soon as that phone rings I pick it up and fall back into his trap and he knows how to keep me like that. I feel like that’s why he feels like he can keep doin it and he starts takin advantage 🤦🏾♀️
I'm just just ready for Lisette post-breakup glow! She has so many blessings coming her way 💕💫
Yesss same
He sounds like a narcissist and he was gaslighting you. I can relate. Thank you for being brave and transparent by sharing.
completely. Some guys are so worthless. They truly need direction. It makes me realize how lost MEN are now and why truly having a relationship with God is so important.
Watching Zo yesterday he said. " Believe, half of what he says and ALL of what he shows you." I am happy you've gotten out of that relationship and wish you the best on this new path of life.
It's okay to cry. You invested time & you had real feelings. Girl, God has so much better for you ❤ Don't settle for less.
100th like
I love this comment ❤ Praise God 🙌🏽
right
My boyfriend of 4 years recently ghosted me, it’s been a week without hearing from him. I basically gave him an ultimatum that we go to therapy and work on our issues or the relationship is going to have to end. He did not reply and hasn’t replied since. No response is a response. Now I’m working on loving myself. When I know how much love I can give, it makes me stronger. Someone who deserves that love will receive it, but I’m going to have to receive it in return. No more unmatched energy ladies 🥳 here’s to high standards, never be too understanding of your mediocre boyfriend.
Whew!!!! “No response is a response” that’s a WORDDDDD sis! I felt that one!
Heal from the inside and date yourself love yourself so much that you only attract people who are on the same level
You have such a great mindset regarding what happened. Ghosting a significant other after that long must be very upsetting and confusing. I hope you heal, grow and find someone in your life that gives you what you deserve!
wow. I'm sorry you went through that, but he completely revealed who he was and I pray you are doing better without him ❤️❤️
Good for you for learning to love yourself!
As someone 2 weeks out of a toxic relationship, thank you for this video. Thank you for speaking your truth. This is one of those moment affirming that, “I’m not crazy” moment.
Girl thank you!!! My ex got a whole female pregnant and I was too scared to leave his toxic butt!!! This is just what I needed since we just broke up and I’ve been depressed
I’m so sorry that happened to you 🤍
@@HeyWonderSally it’s my fault, he was cheating on me for 3 years and I kept believing it would change, next thing Ik they live together and she’s prepaid he still convinced me to stay with him
@@kayyrizma8503 what do you mean by “she’s prepaid”??
@@kayyrizma8503 it’s not you’re fault. You tried to see the best in him and he didn’t want to do better. Yea like she said it’s hard to end them and get out and stay out. 🤍I just ended mine like just now😭. I wish I would have left months ago when he first did something that hurt me. But We are both really young (teenagers) so I’m not going to dwell on it anymore and I’m going to do better. I wish you all the best though. Don’t worry about them they deserve each other and you deserve more than what he could offer.
@@norapeace6526 I meant pregnant 😭
" Loving somebody shouldn't cost you your peace" PERIOD
I'm hysterical crying as I type this because almost everything you're saying is true for me! It's so hard to leave when you've put in time. It's been 7 years for me, no proposal. I've had this sadness inside of me that is affecting every part of my life. I'm in so much pain. I'm finally at a place where I see the relationship for what it is and not the potential of what it can be. It's so tough though. I'm choosing me and finally can see more clearly. I have no idea what is next or how I will survive outside of the relationship but I know my life can be better. I have faith that there will be sunshine again that the constant anxiety, second guessing myself, trying to talk about with him and being shut down is just exhausting. It is not right and sometimes it takes a few years to truly get to the place of accepting that something is no longer for you. In the beginning it is crucial to not have blinders on and not get too excited for all of the love and beautiful experiences someone shares and offers you. Truly look at the life they live, the life you live, your goals and aspirations before committing and deciding to build with someone. Wow...I can't believe how much your video has brought so many emotions up for me in a good way. Thank you for sharing your story and for being so vulnerable. It's so hard to find support when going through these things.
i was in a toxic relationship for a year and was watching this like “this is me”. i’m so happy for us, that we’re out and that we know we deserve better
side note- ok vocals!!
So glad you are doing so well!
Me too. I can relate so well.
“I love therapy” - SO glad us younger generations are more open to getting mental health help when it seems necessary. Very proud of you! 👏🏻 😌
I just have to tell you that this is the most respectful, mature, and well spoken break up video I have ever watched. Like no passive aggressiveness, no smack talking - just honest truth. I really commend you for making it through your situation and coming out stronger, and getting therapy. I can tell you're a very strong woman and I see an even brighter future for you. Everything you said is very true as well and toxic relationships are so unbelievably difficult to stop, just such a mental game. You're a rock star and thank you for being so open. 💗
Luhhsetty you literally are the prize, pretty soon you won’t feel the pain anymore. Stay in your bag don’t date unnecessarily date for purpose. If he don’t fit the list keep it pushing.
I broke down watching this video because I didn't realize how toxic my relationship was until we broke up. Everything you said was so relatable and I feel like writing down reasons why this person wasn't a great partner has helped me moved on, EX: immature, narcissist, said one thing acted another, all in all a lot of toxic things. Thank you for sharing :)
Let yourself cry. Saying, "don't cry" doesn't allow u to feel the full breadth of the loss of the relationship. It is ok because u loved him. The weight of what he did is for him to carry. You are awesome ❤ and healing will come.
Although I don’t like that this happened to you, I loved this video! Love seeing this vulnerable side of you. You hit so many 100% true points!!! Sounds like Narcissist 101 😖 Congratulations on getting OUT! That is the HARDEST part! But now that we’re focusing on the new stronger you… 🗣 WHEN ARE YOU DROPPING THE ALBUM!?! Just gonna sneak in the VOCALS!?! Who is she!? 🤯🥰👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤️
Right! When she began to sing! 😍😍😍
You know it’s a narcissist when they say “ I’m the best thing that happen to you” or “I’m just telling something no one else will” when it’s something disrespectful that’s not even true
I was reading and I didnt even realise it was Bianca!!
Iktr, I thought the same thing! 🙊🙊
@@pinkys03 i agree.
It comes a time in a woman's life when she has to admit the truth to herself (mask off!!) and see the situation for what it is and always trust your intuition that's your backbone. Never base your self worth on how a man is treating you!! . You know your worth. If a man is not treating you right or giving you the love you deserve walk!!! Your story is a inspiration to millions in the same situation. Preach sista.
🎯
You are such a smart girl 💛 I’m so proud of you ! I’ve been in that exact same relationship plus secret cheating. I’m proud of you for getting out when you did. you are stronger than I ❤️❤️ so proud of you xoxo
Multiple studies have shown that couples who dont live together before marriage have a smaller divorce rate. To each their own but ive seen so many girls heartbroken because they get with their bf, move in together, build a life, and then the relationship goes sour and because their lives are too intertwined they will make excuses to stay. You dont not have to live with your bf/gf just because you're together. Keep your independence until you marry this inidividual
I agree with u
Right, I don’t plan on living with a guy unless I’m a fiancé, people be playing house so quick.
That part !!
marriage is literally just a piece of paper it doesn’t actually change the relationship. if a relationship is toxic then it’s toxic - married or not
Good message! 👌🏼🙏🏼
*Tell me why I saw this video and on the same day I put it in my watch later playlist I broke up with my bf of three years as well. Our relationship was toxic and I didn’t want to admit that it was but it was. Literally within the first few minutes of this video where you said it was three years, toxic, not telling family and loosing yourself I gasped because that’s how exactly it was for me. We broke up yesterday after so many breakups and getting back together since July which really showed how deep the cracks in our relationship were. And now I’m here on my lunch break at work trying not to cry while I’m at work and I decided to watch your video . God literally comes in mysterious ways I needed this video omg*
I’m proud of you. How did you do it?
Love how real and transparent you are with your followers even when you don't need to. Hope things will get better for you big sis and you'll someday find someone who's worthy of you 💓💓
Watching lisette for so many years I could tell she wasn’t the same, the same glow, the same energy, not on her grind lately even the cleaning video I was like 😲 this is not lisette!!! I’m so happy for you baby 💖
This hits home !. This is me for the second time. It seem like my relationships is repeating itself. This time when the veil is lifted …it will stay off. For the first time in my life living alone with me and my daughter will never be a lonely place , it will be a relief 🥲. For the first time I will be living for me. Don’t take your peace for granted. Let God speak to you and your path will be a gorgeous journey. When everything seems perfect and something feels off .. it’s off. Your instinct will never mislead you. Thank you for message love. 💕
I've watched you since I was about 14 I am now going on 22. Your beauty, the way you carry yourself, and the peace I get from watching your page always brought me some form of happiness. You were like the big sis I always wanted. I can see that Jesus Christ has His Love over you. Thank you for your transparency. Stay blessed Setty you're loved.
Literally she spoke volumes I’m so glad that she’s relatable and spoke her truth bc literally my relationship
completely agree
Your video gave me so much insight on my past toxic relationship. He was so manipulative, emotionally unavailable, and lied. The last straw for me was catching him in a big lie. A lie that took me several months to gain trust for him to just do it again. Thank you for this video.
I’ve definitely got hit with the “you’ll never find a man like me blah blah blah”. My response: “And that’s the point. I don’t want another guy like you. Thanks for understanding my assignment. 😂”
🤣🤣🤣
Facts
Thank you hun !!
my ex also, told me " you will never find someone like me" like really ur not even great lmaooo. some dudes are so full of themselves that it makes me sick. you live and you learn. the next relationship will be better and the red flags you will see them crystal clear if there are any. then you won't waste time in deciding if you should stay or leave the person. i wish you well. breakups are not easy. ive been there girl. but it does get better!!!!
Should have been like “hell yeah, I won’t. That’s the point” 😂
I’m sitting in class right now watching this video fighting my tears. Literally this morning I let go of a 3+ year relationship. He was doing things that I was honestly not ok with and I expressed that to him multiple times and he never changed. But Lisette is so right you don’t see that what their doing is wrong until you really open your eyes. I had to let him go no matter how much I loved him cause I don’t feel it was fair to myself to beg someone to do different but deep down know they will never change. I had to let go for myself. It’s sad but it happens and this video is definitely what I needed.
I really can’t get over this purple aesthetic 😩😍😍 it’s soo calming
Right 😍
Omg just got out of a narcissistic relationship myself a few days ago. This video is right on time. Thank you for sharing your story. There needs to be more awareness to narcissistic partners.
3:25 - 3:42 I’ve literally thought all those things..............You just confirmed what I’ve been scared to admit to myself for a long time. Thank you for this!
He always seemed “too good to be true” from what I could tell in videos. Glad you started therapy and are doing better! I started this year as well and I love it so much!
Girl cry if that is what you need to do. Let out the emotions; don’t let that anger build up ❤️❤️❤️
she probably does off camera .. on camera is just weird
Girl this is good advice!!! It’s not so fun to be BITTER
Not trying to ruin her makeup 🤣
I really needed this. I had to end a two year relationship recently due to a boundary being crossed that I refused to negotiate on. Always was a non-negotiatable, but I felt so alone in this breakup. And all of the things you mentioned crossed my mind. The behaviors, separating from family, not speaking with them or friends about the relationship anymore, questioning myself and if I'm being too hard on the other person. I know I wasn't, and I know this isn't on me this time. And that it's okay to go separate ways. I'm young, I have so much to do, so much to discover about myself, so much to explore in the world. The world isn't ending bevause my relationship did. And I will feel "okay" again as time goes on and I find myself again.
Thank you
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two days🥰🥰
Whatsaap him"**
That’s why they say never think someone’s relationship is as good as it looks. People go through things some are toxic than others and some are just about coming to an agreement. It’s ok girl you got this. I know you will get through because u got out of it and didn’t let it continue to linger. ❤️❤️
LISTENNNN, you went way beyond hitting the nail on the head. My situation-ship ended because I was loosing myself, I realized I lacked love for myself and felt incapable of taking care of me. I felt sadness, torture and unlovable because this person was okay with the level of love he was giving me. I wanted more and compared now to the history we had and thought it was me every time. Finally choosing me and sticking to my guns one day at a time. I agree, having a coach and therapist is NECESSARY. Thanks for sharing and reminding me I made the right decision to leave
When you said loving someone shouldn’t cost you your peace I felt thattt!! so true! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story 🥰 wishing you a quick and healthy healing process
I hope you heal and that all the pain you’ve endured turns into a beautiful future for you, filled with independence, self love and self care. We’re here to support you and back you up all the way!!!!
I remember feeling nauseous allll the time during my last relationship. The mind games and manipulation will slowly drive you insane! So happy you're out of that situation and on the road to healing 🖤
Right! I thought it was normal… smh… so glad it’s over.
I remember I use to get a headache
This sounds exactly like my past relationship. I’m so glad I’m done with him. I didn’t feel sadness when we broke up. I felt RELIEVED
That is exactly how I felt, I did all the crying and trying while I was there.
❗️Toxic relationships should never be tolerated ❗️
I was in a toxic relationship for 4 and a half years and it was a matter of life or death! Had it not been prayer, I think I would have died. I was a teenager, about to enter my 20s and he took advantage of my softness and vulnerability. I’m so glad that I left. I thank God every time I remember the relationship. God literally pulled me out when I asked Him to help me. Don’t waste time when you see that the relationship is toxic. Get help from friends and family and pray! Prayer works! The healing process isn’t always easy but it is totally worth it 💖
Proud of you
Wow! God bless you❤️
Toxic relationships robs you of your peace. Your emotions go crazy. The person may never acknowledge their flaws. In my case he wanted complete control of me without putting any effort into the relationship.
@@Th3lite That’s so true and I’m really sorry that you went through such hardship with a person who is undeserving of your beauty (both inward and outward). Unfortunately, that is the mindset of most narcissists. They believe in having full control without putting any valuable effort in the relationship, causing their victim’s mental, spiritual and physical to deteriorate.
@@b_n5496 Thank you ☺️ 💜
The toughest part of my breakup was realizing I didn’t go with my gut instincts and dubbed is as maybe I was tripping. But I never was and pretty much let myself down. Never let anyone think you’re crazy when you feel a certain way bc you’re not!
I can recommend you to someone who can bring back your ex or solve any relationship issue....
Contact him on WhatsApp .....
✝✝✝
2347045694828⏭⏭⏭⏭⏮⏮⏮⏮,,,,,...
Communication is 100% the foundation of a relationship. I'm glad you figured that out and can help share to people; It's important. I am happy for you!
Everything you’re saying is sooo insanely relatable!!!! I got out of my toxic relationship 9 months ago & it’s honestly been really hard. But since 2 months I’m starting to feel like myself again & it’s the best feeling ever!! I’m finally happy again :-) And I’m so relieved.
Lisette, thank you for this. I watched this when you initially posted it years ago. I'm watching it again in tears while navigating a similar situation currently. Thank you for using your voice to empower, empathize, and connect. Those of us going through, or having gone through similar situations, understand the importance of being able to connect with other strong women and to not feel so alone. Most importantly, to feel seen, heard, and validated. It's painful, but I know eventually, it will all be ok...Thank you again!!!❤❤❤
Sis this was a whole Sermon!!!!!! Ive been married for ten years and i think you just gave the best advice any person who wants to be in a committed relationship should consider and implement, and those dating should consider.
Girl it’s ok to cry that’s how you wash away the pain.
I was with a narcissist for 9 years . This is all too familiar. People will never understand being with a narcissist, as those of us that had to deal with one . It's the worst kind of relationship to be in! So mentally exhausting, we start to feel like we're crazy ! Then there's trauma bonding. Being addicted to a person ! So hard to get out of , but it is possible! I never thought I'd get over it . Chin up!!
I'm so glad you posted this. I recently left my ex of 3 years finally and it's emotionally hard but needed. He was so toxic and drained me so much that my parents and brothers started to notice I wasn't the same. I never had a man make me cry every single day and crazy part is... he didn't care. I would distance myself from friends and family as well and he distracted me to the point where I lost myself. It's been over week and I'm starting to feel like me again. But some nights are harder than others.
Any advice? My narc bf broke up with me 2 days ago and even though he didn't care about me I still miss him and it hurts so much
@@jimesin i know how you feel, im going through a breakup up as of a few days and im in agony and don’t know what to do with myself. he broke up with me too and i feel so unwanted and disgusting. i just want him to love me…
@@jimesin I feel you😩
mommy, never live with a man your not married to. keep them in their place. they make you be a wife without being a wife. don’t cry girl, your new man is on his way. the toxic stuff happens when they get sprung and crazy. i’m married and good men exit i promise. we support you girl. It’s gets better💕💕💕💕
This!
Period!
Facts
This this & this. I’ve done it once and I will never do it again unless i am legally married. It’s just too much. Now I’m in a committed relationship and we live separately and we are doing it the godly way by practicing celibacy and keeping him first! Best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
I needed this!! Glad to know there are good men out there
Girl... I am Proud of you! I was in a toxic marriage for almost 12 years. I went through every kind of abuse you can think of. It was hard to end it. I literally had to act like that person was dead to me. People are always like, why'd you stay so long?! Like, wtf?! It can be hard to see what's up when your in it. I felt this. Be good to yourself, hold your family close, distance yourself from people who would cause you Mentally or Physically harm. Pray. You are Loved! You are Strong! You are Beautiful!
To allow yourself to be vulnerable and to talk about something personal, hard, and something you’ve endured for so long, I commend you for being this open and strong. You’ve come along and pushed through. ✊🏼💓 May you take the time you need to heal and to overcome that chapter of your life. Sending you so much love and support!! 🥺❤️
This is why people online need to stop the ✨ goals ✨ posts cause you don’t know what the woman (cause it’s usually the woman suffering) is going through! Lisette, I went through a very toxic and abusive relationship like you. I left after a year and hated myself for waiting that long but I had to stop doing that and be happy I left anyway. I am a DSBW and he was white. People were obsessed with the dynamic while I was always confused and crying waiting for him to change. He was a sociopathic narcissist and I was also scared to leave... didn’t know what he was capable of but in God’s name, I am still here! I’m glad you left that toxic relationship. I lost a good 41 pounds, found new hobbies, and am getting to know new people. I have been relieved since I left him and he’s blocked everywhere. Don’t stay with someone who does the silent treatment, makes you confused, belittles you, and all things abusive. Listen to your intuition always (like you said). Love this video. You’re helping many women!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I love what you said about Sunk-Cost fallacy, and ignoring red flags...
Took me 3 years to actually feel love for another person after my toxic breakup. Definitely get out sooner than later and fall back in love with yourself. Easier said than done, but one day you’ll realize how far you’ve come and you’ll feel so GOOD knowing you got over it when it felt impossible to move on! Keep your head up girl, time heals all💜
Thanks for making this video. I just got out of a toxic relationship. We were together for 3 years as well and it was an awful breakup. I felt the same way. I was mentally drained and tired. I felt like he was taking advantage of me but I kept making excuses. I connected so much with this video
This speaks soo much about my marriage!! Part of the reason of why im getting a divorce!! Ladies u deserve more!!!!
i love you. i never had a mother figure or big sister type of person i could count on to give me advice on things. ever since i found your vids, my whole life has changed. you’ve helped me so much. I LOVE YOUUU u deserve so much more and better.
we’re all here for you hun! i’m sorry you had to go through this but you take as much as you need to heal internally so that way you can glow externally! i love you, let’s be strong together 💗✨
I totally understand what you're going through, and you're right, in loving yourself you will not accept the things you know you don't deserve!
First and foremost thank you for starting of the video stating, “why am I crying over someone who doesn’t care about me”. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share this with us. It took me 2 months as well to be able to stop crying over my break up. It’s hard to realize how someone’s words don’t match up with their actions and all the red flags that we seem to just ignore because we so badly want to give someone a chance. Seeing how so many women go through this doesn’t make you feel 100% alone when you deal with someone who has narcissistic tendencies and who are toxic. Thank you for stating that you wanted closure, but you realized their actions and your feelings after the relationship was your closure. Thank you for sharing this with us. ❤️❤️
Toxic relationships are so draining. I was in one myself for 4 years damn near five! People don’t understand that it’s so hard to get out even if you know that you need to. Praying for your strength in this time I’m 2 years out of my relationship and this self love journey is deff one to remember.
Sis this was much needed. I just got out of a toxic relationship and your video is so validating. The “you’ll never find a guy like me” was too real.
I have been following you since you were in high school. You are a beautiful person, with solid values and a bounce back personality. Always remember, you are not the same person that walk into this experience. You have grown and taken notes. Good for you for having the insight to recognize what is best for you. God bless you and keep you.
Well done! ❤️
Dude also sounded like a narcissist; my mom is one. I promise you it’s awful and it warps your whole perception.
tell me about it!!! My mom is low-key a narcissist too, and my ex!! Toxic, silent treatment, probably full of himself or vulnerable so he played the victim all the time 🙄 could never resolve arguments, shifted blame to me=gaslighting. HORRIBLE, but u learn so much
my mom too and my ex 🙄
@@norapeace6526 everyone isn’t a dang narcissist🙄
@@prieltheprune1302 did I say that!? 😒
Mine sound EXACTLY as her. Every word she said. His favorite phrase you are over react. So im over react when i say you telling me to go find a brain hurts me? My sister is narcissist i think. Its always EVERYONE else fault for everything. Literally.
Everything you said was on point! A lot of people don’t know themselves so they don’t know what boundaries to set. We should try to learn and know ourselves as much as possible before we get into relationships 💕
Woooo that was a whole message right there!! Like, how can we really know what we truly need in life, if we don't truly know who we are and love ourselves the best we can first? I believe that if we tried outloving our own selves, it would inevitably attract only the ones who are willing and able to love us from that SPECIAL level. Time has taught me that these guys can see and sense when we're looking for love to fill voids, vs when we're looking for someone to match our best. They see us as vulnerable and as prey. They lurk, they pounce, and we accept just because it feels good to feel wanted and seen finally by a "man" with "good intentions." They see our brokenness.. Then with time, lo and behold, that sheep is actually a wolf! When we love ourselves first, we set a standard that speaks volumes through just our presence, and that kind of POWER will scare off any wolves because they're really all bark! They always pick on the women, but all cool with all the men! Cowards!! I dare any woman reading this to compete with yourself to love yourself more, and don't be afraid to let someone COMPLETELY go, so you can start dating YOU!!
He sounds like a narcissist. I've been there before and those statements he said were definitely triggering for me. Thanks for this talk I really needed this. Love your transparency.
@Hannah Gweth Obengo It's a refreshing feeling when you put yourself 1st.
I definitely understand 🥲where you coming from, I was in a toxic long term relationship for 9 years and we lived together and everything. He was so controlling and would talk down on women. He was so disrespectful and narcissistic! He was also emotional unavailable, I was in denial as well. It was like I was living in a bubble keep your head up sis! Things will turn around in your favor
6:57 it’s the gaslighting for me!!! How odd that the patterns are almost always the same!!!! I’m glad you ended it girl!! I wish you a full and complete recovery from this past relationship 🙏🏾♥️
I needed this video when I was in college!Wasted 3 years in a toxic relationship as well, I should have talked to someone about what was going on way sooner and ended that awful relationship before 3 years of unhappiness . The signs are always there, I was holding onto the hope that things would get better but they didn’t. Thanks for this video and transparency!
Just broke up with my bf. I needed this. Literally needed to hear every single word. What you said is exactly what I’ve been feeling, I almost cried. Thank you.
You'll get better gurll!
@@shraddhapatnaik2585 thank you ❤️
Thank you for sharing. My 3 year relationship just ended a few days ago. I feel like I'm going crazy but I realize that I contributed to a lot of the things that went wrong in my relationship but it wasn't just me. I felt like I lost myself and things go worse and worse. He made it seems like everything was my fault, I'm starting to believe that but there were things that he did that I didn't like as well and he wasn't always a nice person or in a good mood which I understand but never wanted to talk. I've learned a lot and I still love him but I need to work on myself and be by myself.
Much love to everyone reading this ❤️
I never thought the relationship was perfect. Social media taught me that we never know what goes on behind closed doors. Honestly he seemed a little too perfect when he was in your videos and that was a red flag to me. I am glad you were able to see your worth eventually and get out. You will find a man that treats you the way you deserve!
Wow! This is so comforting I was dealing with this for almost 3 years and while I was in it I was suffering in silence constantly questioning myself living in a constant state of confusion … LADIES THIS IS NOT NORMAL , create a plan and get out it if you stay it will cost your sanity
I had a bad feeling about him. I don't know what it was but I just had a gut feeling. I'm so sorry about what happened. You deserve way better.
Same here,noticed she wasn't really happy,I'm glad she's out now 😊
There was also something about him I didn't like. When I saw him in videos I got those bad vibes. I'm glad she's no longer dealing with him.
Yes girl I always tell my friends to stop moving in with their boyfriends so quickly, it will be less than a year and they move in and it always turns out horrible. Don’t live together without a ring otherwise you’re just a roommate. Marriage or no moving in, studies show living together before marriage leads to higher divorce rates
hearing your words eases my pain. im also going through a breakup and i feel like im not alone. thank u. i realized a lot from this
I am so sorry that you went through this. You are so beautiful, kind, caring, creative and strong. You didn't deserve none of what you have went through. You deserve a man that will treat you right. Remember, you are a queen. Don't forget your worth and value.
I don’t think you acc realise how close to home this is for so many women and myself. I acc appreciate when women talk about this . I pray you feel a lot better and don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself time to cry and heal girl ❤️
Hi girlie, the way your situation is so similar to mine is unbelievable. I moved out on my own for the first time, met someone, he moved in with me 6 months later. After three years of being together, he left a month and a half ago. It was very painful at first but now I finally realized it was the best thing he could’ve done for me. I felt just like you… and I would’ve never walked away. Thank you for sharing this. Videos like yours are truly coming in clutch helping me heal 🫶🏻
My ex came back to me a few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back. Also attracting SP, soulmate, and removing Third parties which works within 48hours...
Whatsaap him"**
I feel this. I moved in with my partner after about year of dating and it was ROUGH in the beginning. We couldn't talk on the phone with out fighting. I considered if I was the toxic one in our relationship and of we should even be together. Eventually we decided we would move mountains to be together bc the love was there. We went through a period of having hour+ talks of what was going on between us and going back through situations to understand how the other felt and where the problem/miscommunication was. Our communication became so much better and our relationship is so healthy now. And this year will be our 5th year together. I know this doesn't work for everyone. But I hope all of you make it out of your bad situations and do what you need for yourself.
I agree with this . communication is key .when the fianc'e and myself go through hard times or are constantly arguing ,we just realize that our communication has been off and we spend hours talking and figuring things out together .
This truly works .
This was an exceptional video. You expressed yourself like an eloquent adult and I really appreciated your perspective. As you stated, a toxic relationship can be with family, a partner, parent etc. You’re going to help so many people with this video.
Thank you so much for this video…I just got out of a toxic relationship tonight and this video was well needed…I was hearing the saying “you will never find another guy like me” and “you won’t find another guy that treats you better than me”…so I basically had to end that relationship because I know that I deserve better and I am just focusing on what makes me happy as well as figuring out myself…self-love is the best love
Girl I’ve been holding some tea on him for a while but I’m so glad you’re out of that situation.
Whats his ig? And what’s the teaaaaa
Is he the other way low key?
@@dee8203 wdym the other way??
@@dee8203 high key. My brother knows him from that scene when they both lived in New York around 2017.
@@L0.razepam yes if you look at his IG you will see the comments so that's where I picked it up.