3 UPDATES: Wife Invited Her Family To Live With Us Rent Free Without Asking Me And When I Told....
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: Wife Invited Her Family To Live With Us Rent Free Without Asking Me And When I Told Her They Couldn't Stay With Us, She Called Me An "Orphaned Loser"… So I Ended The Lease On Our House And Moved Out Without Her Knowing And Now She And Her Family Are Begging Me For Forgiveness Because They're Gonna End Up On The Streets!
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I recently ended the lease agreement on my house and moved out without telling my wife and I know that right off the bed, I do look like the AH, but I had my reasons so I hope you guys give me a chance and hear me out before any sort of judgment. My wife, Cathy (30f), and I (31m) have been together for the past six years and married for two. She and I have always had a normal relationship and the only bone of contention, so to speak, has been her family.
It amazed me how people use the "without telling me!" like OP did with the lease, yet had agreed to move in and support her whole family without telling him.
Weaponizing childhood trauma in an argument is automatically divorce worthy.
she is just a manipulative tool of her family. somehow those red flags were overlooked
Moral of the story… She will treat you how YOU let her.. She switched all the way up once that notice hit..
Ending the lease without telling her first was a bit of an AH move, but the low blow your wife dealt without immediately apologizing cancels that out. She's lucky you didn't serve her divorce papers the next day.
This right here.
If she said it? She thinks it ... Has thought it...
May use in the future...
Unforgivable??? Maybe
Called it ...knew she would have a surprise pregnancy , family is laying low till op feels secure again . She is flat out playing him
Maybe, maybe not. She did get a come to Jesus moment with op taking himself off the lease so she might actually have changed or not.
Yep. I was going to write the same comment but you got there first and you said it better than I could have. She has played him like a violin.
Yeah. She doesnt seem to care. Let her live with her parents.
Insurance covering only a couple weeks of accommodations sounds like bullcrap. They probably just wanted to pocket the money they got monthly for accommodations. I had a house fire, and it needed to be completely redone. Our insurance paid $1500 for up to a year of accommodations until the new house was built. It took 11 months and we never once had to pay for rent out of pocket.
Yup. I noticed that right away. Two weeks is a steaming pile of BS
Last straw! So pull your money and leave. See how well they live off her money.
She just need him for paying , has no respect for him and that comment it’s a deal breaker
Nothing helps a failing marriage like an unexpected pregnancy. ♥️
NOT!
Nothing saves a struggling marriage like a surprise baby
Some people have to learn the hard way. When you share your vulnerabilities with a spouse and they weaponize it against you, then you're in trouble because you can't trust your spouse . . .
As someone who lost both parents by age 4 that would be a relationship ending comment no matter what the context was behind it.
Why would some phrase like "Orphaned Loser", come in somebody's mind, let alone your spouse. I am sure, she and her family call him by that name. This term is extremely uniques, and in my 54 yrs of life, I've never heard or even thought of such a phrase.
Sorry, for your loss, Maria. God bless you dear.
Her calling him an "orphaned loser" is a huge line to cross even in an argument. Leaving the house is understandable but ending the lease was a huge reaction. I wonder if these words of her even if said in anger reflect her vision of him. Considering this, OP should think about if his relationship is healthy. Moreover when wrong in an argument and saying such things pocking at the other's sore point, you have to be the one to reach out and apologize.
Ending the lease has to happen. Otherwise he would be liable for any damages or unpaid rent etc
Pretty sure the landlord went crazy-apeshit-bonkers when they found out how many people the wife was trying to squeeze into the house. I'm surprised the tenancy wasn't immediately rescinded for ALL parties, not just OP.
What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Kathy made unilateral decision & OP responded in kind. Kathys' family were disrespectful & overly entitled. Op distanced himself from the negativity & in & around what was supposed to be his home. Kathy & her whole family told OP by their words & actions who they were - bullies one & all. Find a better family & be grateful that that no children have yet been subject to that level of toxicity. Kathy can move back to HER family home once the renovations are complete. OP move on & live well before these awful people darken YOUR soul. Best wishes for the future OP.
Edit: Cynically I suspect that Kathy arranged the pregnancy to placate her family & to maintain a home that she could not afford on her own salary by giving OP another reason to stay. SMH.
family does not mooch off each other and put family members in debt needlessly, that is not how family works. family respect each other and voluntarily contributes to the whole.
When the wife said “that’s because you are just an orphaned loser“, she revealed herself as pure evil. OP needed to get away from her and her toxic family.
Cathy needs to learn the saying "don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm" i can't fathom expecting to live for months in somebody elses home and not contributing to food and utilities as a working adult
First off, if she moved her family in without asking you. I immediately blame her. Because as a married couple, you ALWAYS discuss things before you make huge, even small choices. More so when they are mooching off him as well as the wife. The wife might find it ok, but the son in law was never let in on the choice when its his home.
Never attack someone, least of all your partner, in their most vulnerable spot to win an argument, ever. Its a very crappy thing to do and it takes trust out of the relationship. Now they alway have to wonder if you will use everything they say as a weapon against them.
Never liked big “very together” families.
I would have went to the room and started to pack a bag with her watching. See of that would make her apologize.
The comment that she made to you was like a knife in the heart. Her later apology is like waking up in the recovery room with her saying “oh, I didn’t really mean it”.
Oh, she cant take it too far, but now HE is taking it too far. She doesnt communicate well. She had to know that after she used the most hurtful subject to hurt him, that he would leave. But no! Why? She crossed a line with inviting her family to live with them without discussing it with him. She wouldnt have had to go back on her word if she had. Then using his past issue to hurt him was too far.
Well she pretty much seemed to make it sound like she hated him to hirt him the way she did. She wasnt hearing him.
Some part of me thinks that Kathy is blaming the family for her decision and she needs her husband to keep a roof over her head so she gravels and says what OP wants to hear.
Insurance covers more than two weeks temporary housing for a fire.
Ssooo OP's wife wanted him to talk to her first, but never talked to him at all about anything? 😂😂😂😂 Get rid of her ass!!!
I can't get past the fact that her parents were saying he brainwashed her and that it's a bad tbing that she puts him first. Her family is clearly insanely manipulative and are pissed that they can no longer take advantage of her, and him.
OMG! There was never a marriage! Divorce this evil grifter!
Edit: points given, NOT deducted for breaking the lease.
Op, be happy alone.
What a "convenient" pregnancy for Cathy. (I am a woman. Rollo is my cat, a real character.) There are accidental pregnancies, when birth control fails due to forgetting to use it consistently or properly (or the rhythm method which has a 33% failure rate). I do not trust Cathy. Not at all. She came from a toxic boundary stomping family.
If they want them to have a baby, they would not be able to have kids anytime soon if they take advantage. They can contribute! That is so bull! Then she can pay for them. He wont! Keep your money away from them.
Without asking she invites a bunch of adults to come live with him, with the extra bonus of him paying for them all, pay for their use of his electric, water, etc.. He'll pay for their groceries. What sort of parent expects their child's partner to pay for them and their adult children. They are vile.
I was in an orphanage from 9mth to age 6, if my partner said something like his did, it would be over. It's a low thing to throw in his face and untrue.
Come on! They can ALL afford to contribute to the house. I would not feed them and cost more electricity and such. That is just too much to ask of a couple to pay. I would have made it clear before they for through the door! First one to piss me off or talk about babies, they are out. First one to take advantage, they are out. Dont care who it is. Since i was not even consulted in this discussion.
Even she was the best partner, i absolutely leave her aftr tht orphan comment. Someone trusts u, tells u their trauma n u use it against them so casually. Never go back to people like tht
LOL!!! Karma!!! Your wife has some nerve setting you up to live with and support her entire family on your own! The way your wife wanted to deal with her family by not dealing with her family. Yeah, that’s not healthy!Your wife has all of her siblings living with her parents? Oh hell no !jest absolutely no they can all get places to live as adults! Your wife wants to support 7 extra people for several months? Your wife is unreasonable. Your wife is an AH and a huge one at that! Let wifey support her parents on her teacher’s salary and get your own place. She is going to bankrupt you. Move on OP If she doesn’t get it together divorce is your only option. She was hateful to use your tragedy against you
I would tell them that they are staying away and they will go no contact if they cant behave. You dont get to get pissy with her for standing her ground. But you dont get to jump back in JUST because you have kids.
'always tried to be there for family'.. that is the clue.. they raised her to be a doormat and the atm
Well, if they are family that love her, they should understand that shes got her FAMILY. So they are supposed to be second to her husband and future kids. So they need to learn this and get ok. They should know if they dont, then they will be cut off.
I'm family oriented. But not "Move my entire family into my and my spouse's house without first consulting them then insult them for being rightfully upset " level oriented.
I've witnessed these situations happen, and NEVER do they ever make sense to me or the person at fault being upset and confused (or least acting like it) when the spouse is upset.
There's no coming back from what she said. She told OP how she really felt about him and his history, and he rightfully left her and her precious family to their own devices. I've half a mind to wonder if she thought she could use his history to sway him to have all her family live with them or eventually talk him into moving back with them, either way, she's disgusting.
Never trust a W.. n tears. They cry because it didn't go their way. The most false tears
When will people understand: when you get married, your spouse becomes your first priority? And parents, when your kids get married, their spouse is their first priority.
It’s nice when families are close, but in situations like this, BOTH spouses must be on board.
If you have a spouse who puts their parents/siblings first, you’re not in a marriage. 🤷♀️
She didn't dicuss her family with him. Who is going to feed 7 adults😮😮😮. Shesaid what she said. She sorry now because she needs some place to live.
1. What OP's wife told him, that he was an "Orphaned Loser", actually sounds correct to me, because his later actions proved it to me. LMAO
2. Cathy wants back "NOW", because she can't afford a house on her own, and she is left with no other options. But she will keep this instance in her mind, for future use. LMAO
3. She voluntarily decided to house, feed, and shelter her entire family of 7 for free, and when OP didn't like it, she called him an "orphaned loser." These kinds of terminologies or phrases don't just pop out of nowhere, it was already there in her mind. Well that could only happen, if they had either thought about it, spoke about it, or heard about it from others.
4. She discussed about this whole situation with her parents, siblings, and their spouses, but she never gave a crap about OP in this regard.
5. She hugged and cried, only because she is left with no one else to fund and finance her current lifestyle.
6. She never once apologized, until she got the news from the landlord about the cancellation of the lease, which speaks volumes. Also, the gall to state, "how could you make such huge decision without discussing with me," says it all. And for this SIMP who heard this statement, should have responded with, yeah you are so right, "how could you make such a huge decision of housing your entire family for free, without discussing with me."
7. She is a massive walking, flying, and swimming, RED FLAG 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
8. OP should have taken this opportunity to run for the hills.
I am wondering if Cathy “accidentally” got pregnant in order to have a way back into her family’s life.
It might not be yours, get multiple paternity test. I wouldn't trust this chick for anything.
I’m glad that whoever is writing these stories now has skipped all those extra details they used to give in these stories. It was too much getting detail for the 1st 20 minutes without getting to the meat of the story. Only for the updates to be 1 minutes each lol. Glad they took our words to heart and fixed that. Shoutout to the writers. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you so much!
That has to be a hard relationship to manover. So they need to curb the baby talk. More so if they HAVE to live with them. Who wants to make a baby with family in the house.
How about gun regulations
Her extended family is all well and good for someone who wants to be a single worker ant in a colony, but their complaining that she puts all her energy and considerations into Him is out of line. He is her first family, they come second. she is bound to him through thick and thin and if the others have to sit on a sideline then so be it. They are all adults; they should go adult.
I can't imagine expecting to go stay an extended time at anyone's house and not pull my own weight. Even if they refused rent I would buy groceries and necessities and do housework and yard work. If this was to be my home, for however long, then I would do what I would always do for my home. (Keeping in mind that one must never allow everyone else to make you the house slave and not keep up their own end too.)
NTA OP. You did try to speak to your wife, but she wasn't listening. She could not have afforded the rent herself, but she had the option of asking her siblings, at least, to help with the expenses. Her three siblings were working and could have afforded it, but did not want to. Instead, your wife was quite happy for you both to bankrupt yourselves feeding and otherwise catering for her inconsiderate family - and then have the nerve to ask you about having children while they were bankrupting you!! What your wife said to you was a real denigration of love, knowing how it would hurt you. She has shown she will not hesitate to sting you deliberately when you two disagree. That must affect trust. Can you bring yourself to trust her again, OP? Or is this fuss just because they want your wage packet back? I would stay with your friend for a few more days to have a good think about where you stand with your wife, OP. If your wife really does put her family above you in importance, then you need to think about that very seriously, as that is not what she promised when you married. Good luck.
and always the pushing with the children. stop. doing. that. no one owes relatives kids. they want everyone as miserable as they are ..
Harris Steven Hernandez Anthony Hall Robert
Williams Brian Martinez James Martin George
Taylor Daniel Allen Maria Walker Donald
Moore Paul Martinez Patricia Johnson Sharon
At all, at all, at all. You say that so much in so many of your stories that the two words have become distracting for me. Is that your go to phrase? I've never heard anyone use those words as often as you do. Many times you use it unnecessarily. It's become a bad grammer habit for you. The fact that you use it so much makes me believe that you write these stories.
23:23 run Cathy.