Thank you for the video Monika. Does it also fall under "scorekeeping" when spouses constantly bring up examples of what the other did wrong, in order to get them off high horse in an argument - or when they bring up all the good things that the other already has or has already enjoyed and so they should just be quiet and not complain about a particular issue? I feel these are harder to get past than those that are about household chores, for example.
If a spouse constantly brings up examples of what the other did wrong, in order to get them off high horse in an argument, that is not scorekeeping, that is table turning or simply undermining. Bringing up good things as a way of dismissing a complaint, that is more of a defensive maneuver to deflect or protect against perceived criticism. The best way around this is to turn complaints into request
![Boundaries and Emotional connection [Start Here to Save Your Energy]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/GDczhy6ol8M/mqdefault.jpg)
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Thank you for the video Monika. Does it also fall under "scorekeeping" when spouses constantly bring up examples of what the other did wrong, in order to get them off high horse in an argument - or when they bring up all the good things that the other already has or has already enjoyed and so they should just be quiet and not complain about a particular issue? I feel these are harder to get past than those that are about household chores, for example.
If a spouse constantly brings up examples of what the other did wrong, in order to get them off high horse in an argument, that is not scorekeeping, that is table turning or simply undermining. Bringing up good things as a way of dismissing a complaint, that is more of a defensive maneuver to deflect or protect against perceived criticism. The best way around this is to turn complaints into request