The "all or nothing" view of life is a vicious cycle that keeps you in the same place and tells you that making the smallest steps is not good enough and demands you make big changes right now and just be like everyone else. Building up from the ground the foundations to live a healthier and fulfilling life is the right thing to do but it takes massive efforts and time in order to break the old habits and adopt healthy and better ones instead
My "family in the head" is called "Amy", which stands for annoying misinformed you lol when I get depressed or have a panic attack, I just tell myself "Oh, Amy is speaking up". When I think this or say this to myself it reminds me that my emotions are in play and I am in "emotional mind", and I do not have all the facts. It then allows me to practice DBT skills I have learned and fact-check the situation. The name came to mind when I reading and learning about the amygdala. Plus, it sometimes allows me a little chuckle during a very distressing situation, which kinda helps relieve it a bit.
As an individual who lives with this diagnosis and grew up in a rough environment that has exacerbated my symptoms. I often tell people that I despise hood culture because many people are not aware of how that environment makes a disorder like this even worse. So far, I have lost one person who lost their battle with this disorder. When poor and unemployed, it is very difficult to find a therapist trained to treat this disorder because they prefer private insurance, and most people living with this disease are unemployed and on government assistance. Thank you for your work because without many people, they would not receive treatment. This disorder produces symptoms that people simply can not tolerate living with as well as being around and is almost in the same category as schizophrenia depending on the environment that an individual develops in.
Thank you for describing things perfectly. I often struggle to form the words out loud what's happening inside my mind but you expressed what it's really like especially with the description of the family in the head. Thank you for providing helpful solutions to stop being our worst enemy and how visualization can be a useful tool.
This came at a really good time. Every single time I make any progress, I feel so good about it briefly, but the first sign of failure and I’m ready to throw in the towel in every meaning of the expression. It’s just incredibly embarrassing to have such a fragile grasp on reality and such a difficult time regulating emotions that are so overwhelming that at times I just go mute and freeze. The most difficult part of all of it is that I genuinely can’t see myself getting better, I have no hope and no faith in myself, and to be honest, I really don’t feel I deserve to get better. Knowing that it’s up to me to do the work is defeating in itself. Ugh, I’m sorry, vent. I do have both books by dr Fox and I highly recommend both. While My ADHD prevents me from retaining 95% of what I read, the insight I’ve gained has been invaluable. I guess it’s all a process. I just wish it didn’t need to take so long. Thanks dr fox 🙏
I so needed this. I’ve been looking for a job for months & the process of job searching has taken a toll on my mental health. I have a to-do list that I have every day but I do lack a routine that I feel like I need. I think once I establish & stick to that it’ll help with the momentum of my day where I won’t feel the need to procrastinate & put things off.
Thank you for your video Dr Fox! I'm truly in! Having a full blown C-PTSD reactivated at my last workplace with an employee that was molested by a multirecidivist...
Your understanding of the voices in my head blows my mind. I am on Chapter 7 of the BPD Workbook, it deals directly with the family in the head and I am carrying my worksheets around with me and reading them regularly so I can rewire my brain. It's such powerful work. Yes, it's like walking up hill, but the benefits are immediate. I honestly think I can put this into remission. At 59.
Thank you I I love when you explain things the way that you do it makes it understandable for me and trust me I have a big family in the head and it gives me a headache
Your helping me so much. I just entered my 40’s. I have 2 narcissistic parents. This is all so new to me. I feel like I took a mental hike to go exploring one sunny day then found myself in the middle of a mine field. I was getting along with my parents but the more I study the more little blow ups are starting to happen. I work for my dad. Now I’m thinking that’s a bad idea. Lots of family mobbing and scapegoating anytime someone breaks the ice. The good news is I’m no longer suicidal. I can see my self worth. I know “It’s not me” yes I quoted Dr Ramanis book. I love you both. And bought both your books in print and audible. I’m still a bit lost and I can only absorb so much at a time. But I’m determined.
I been really working on this. Thanks Dr Fox you really put me on the right track. I really have problems with thinking what people have told me or done to me. I dont get mad at them. I hurt myself believing their cruelty. Always thinking i am the problem. I will listen to mire of what you have to say. Thanks Again. You Saved Me..
I have been diagnosed with bpd since my early 20's and basically ignored it for 15 years everytime i try any dbt methods im just overwhelmed with emotions, it makes it very difficult to make any progress. I desperately want to face it and begin my recovery but im at a loss.
Again and again I hear "it's a process" or it's not a "one and done" and I feel others think me delusional when I'm glad for progress. But inside I hear them saying, "the life you want isn't for you, so don't get excited. You can't have it. It's not for people like you"
Thank you for reminding myself and other me (bad inner voices inside me) you kind stranger... 😅 I feel a sense of belonging here ... We all will be going through this together.@@animalliberationCLBB
Man, I feel that. That’s all I can say, is I really get it. It feels like things are getting worse. I had to unplug completely from the news, it was messing with me. Sometimes it feels like the world is burning around you, and sometimes it is. We pull together though, and you will make it.
Me too. After about a year of improvement getting rejected has put me right back at square one: bedridden with ideations. I'm so over life. I'm just ready.
Over the past few weeks ( due to some changes I have made to my diet) I have been feeling bursts of hope here and there which I have not felt for the longest time. It's a strange feeling, and I sometimes do not know what to do with my new found optimism xD Is this common? Can anybody relate?
I'm really struggling with doing things differently at the moment. My therapist stepped on an old emotional button and even though we spoke about it being an old reaction and I calmed down in the moment, I'm thinking about it again after the session and becoming upset again. I don't know how he can just say that the thing I'm thinking is an assumption when I'm convinced that it's true.
It's tough when our emotions get triggered, especially when we feel strongly about something. Remember, therapy is a process, and it's okay to have these ups and downs.
Dr. Fox has a bunch of helpful videos for partners, family, and couples. I would check out his playlists. I'm not sure if I can share a link to one but I'll try. th-cam.com/video/Vsj8QaDcjQI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=6A5-TMDhrl9bGieB
🏆 Thank you! I cannot believe how far I've come. I never thought I'd ever get to where I don't hate myself. Thank you for your videos over the years. In addition to therapy, effort, and treating co-morbid conditions with medication, I no longer self harm and rarely get the urge to. I have learned to manage those urges, even when they're incredibly strong, and it's in no small part due to watching your videos as part of the process. Thank you.
Thank you Dr. Fox. I have started brushing my teeth taking a shower and walking to my mailbox every morning instead of staying in bed.
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well. This is awesome news. I'm super proud of you. Great work.
Keep it up, Dawn! Take care of yourself the way you would take care of a best friend if she were struggling. : )
Dr. Fox, your understanding of BPD is compassionate and accurate. You are helping the world understand our humanity and all of us with BPD. Thank you
Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad I could provide some insight!
@@DrDanielFoxI second their comment. There is no other expert with this level of insight for BPD. We appreciate you!!
The "all or nothing" view of life is a vicious cycle that keeps you in the same place and tells you that making the smallest steps is not good enough and demands you make big changes right now and just be like everyone else.
Building up from the ground the foundations to live a healthier and fulfilling life is the right thing to do but it takes massive efforts and time in order to break the old habits and adopt healthy and better ones instead
My "family in the head" is called "Amy", which stands for annoying misinformed you lol when I get depressed or have a panic attack, I just tell myself "Oh, Amy is speaking up". When I think this or say this to myself it reminds me that my emotions are in play and I am in "emotional mind", and I do not have all the facts. It then allows me to practice DBT skills I have learned and fact-check the situation.
The name came to mind when I reading and learning about the amygdala. Plus, it sometimes allows me a little chuckle during a very distressing situation, which kinda helps relieve it a bit.
Thank you for sharing your personal strategy with us. It's inspiring to see how you manage your emotions.
A strange coincidence. I also call my fear/ anxious mind "Amy" short for amygdala.😂
That elephant with the rope analogy was extremely illuminating for me, thanks for these videos they really make a difference in my life
I cannot say thank you enough. We appreciate you.
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
As an individual who lives with this diagnosis and grew up in a rough environment that has exacerbated my symptoms. I often tell people that I despise hood culture because many people are not aware of how that environment makes a disorder like this even worse. So far, I have lost one person who lost their battle with this disorder. When poor and unemployed, it is very difficult to find a therapist trained to treat this disorder because they prefer private insurance, and most people living with this disease are unemployed and on government assistance. Thank you for your work because without many people, they would not receive treatment. This disorder produces symptoms that people simply can not tolerate living with as well as being around and is almost in the same category as schizophrenia depending on the environment that an individual develops in.
Your words resonate deeply, and I appreciate you sharing your experiences.
Thank you for describing things perfectly. I often struggle to form the words out loud what's happening inside my mind but you expressed what it's really like especially with the description of the family in the head. Thank you for providing helpful solutions to stop being our worst enemy and how visualization can be a useful tool.
This came at a really good time. Every single time I make any progress, I feel so good about it briefly, but the first sign of failure and I’m ready to throw in the towel in every meaning of the expression. It’s just incredibly embarrassing to have such a fragile grasp on reality and such a difficult time regulating emotions that are so overwhelming that at times I just go mute and freeze. The most difficult part of all of it is that I genuinely can’t see myself getting better, I have no hope and no faith in myself, and to be honest, I really don’t feel I deserve to get better. Knowing that it’s up to me to do the work is defeating in itself. Ugh, I’m sorry, vent.
I do have both books by dr Fox and I highly recommend both. While My ADHD prevents me from retaining 95% of what I read, the insight I’ve gained has been invaluable. I guess it’s all a process. I just wish it didn’t need to take so long.
Thanks dr fox 🙏
I so needed this. I’ve been looking for a job for months & the process of job searching has taken a toll on my mental health. I have a to-do list that I have every day but I do lack a routine that I feel like I need. I think once I establish & stick to that it’ll help with the momentum of my day where I won’t feel the need to procrastinate & put things off.
Thank you so much. You articulate exactly where I’m at regarding going forward. Thank you!
Extremely refreshing to hear these logical, achievable steps that are not coated in cryptic, religious terms. Thank you for empowering so many.
Thank you Dr Fox. This information is very helpful in understanding my internal dialogue and how to manage it.
This type of content is so valuable it’s a treasure, thank you for uploading these videos Daniel
These are great analogies "family in the head" and "evolution of the baby elephant's strength".
Thank you for appreciating the analogies in the video!
Great video full of useful info.
Thank you very much. I really needed and need help.
Thank you so much. I feel like In your videos that you're directly speaking to me. I've sent your page
To a couple
Friends
This video is so great 😃! I can completely relate to this. Thank you 🙏 Doc!! JV Johnny ⚾️👟🐺🎥
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Thank you for your video Dr Fox!
I'm truly in! Having a full blown C-PTSD reactivated at my last workplace with an employee that was molested by a multirecidivist...
Your understanding of the voices in my head blows my mind. I am on Chapter 7 of the BPD Workbook, it deals directly with the family in the head and I am carrying my worksheets around with me and reading them regularly so I can rewire my brain. It's such powerful work. Yes, it's like walking up hill, but the benefits are immediate. I honestly think I can put this into remission. At 59.
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Thank you for such a great insight ❤
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you, Dr Fox.❤️
Thank you I I love when you explain things the way that you do it makes it understandable for me and trust me I have a big family in the head and it gives me a headache
Yeah, same here. It’s been noisy as hell lately hasn’t it
Your helping me so much. I just entered my 40’s. I have 2 narcissistic parents. This is all so new to me. I feel like I took a mental hike to go exploring one sunny day then found myself in the middle of a mine field. I was getting along with my parents but the more I study the more little blow ups are starting to happen. I work for my dad. Now I’m thinking that’s a bad idea. Lots of family mobbing and scapegoating anytime someone breaks the ice. The good news is I’m no longer suicidal. I can see my self worth. I know “It’s not me” yes I quoted Dr Ramanis book. I love you both. And bought both your books in print and audible. I’m still a bit lost and I can only absorb so much at a time. But I’m determined.
You are not trapped in a room full of demons, they're trapped in a room with you 💪
It feels like I've got an evil twin inside my head. And it feels almost impossible to stop it completely. Draining
Thank you
Thank you so so much!!! 😊
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Thank you, Dr. Fox!
Love elephant story. I feel like that elephant.
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
I been really working on this.
Thanks Dr Fox you really put me on the right track.
I really have problems with thinking what people have told me or done to me.
I dont get mad at them.
I hurt myself believing their cruelty.
Always thinking i am the problem.
I will listen to mire of what you have to say.
Thanks Again.
You Saved Me..
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
I have been diagnosed with bpd since my early 20's and basically ignored it for 15 years everytime i try any dbt methods im just overwhelmed with emotions, it makes it very difficult to make any progress.
I desperately want to face it and begin my recovery but im at a loss.
You have to fight! Don't let this motherf#$@ing disorder win ❤
Wow, that rope thing with the elephants is brutal...
Again and again I hear "it's a process" or it's not a "one and done" and I feel others think me delusional when I'm glad for progress. But inside I hear them saying, "the life you want isn't for you, so don't get excited. You can't have it. It's not for people like you"
That's your BPD and Family in The Head talking. Reisst that, it's a fallacy. You can beat this inner enemy!!
I start an IOP tomorrow. Any suggestions on which groups I should consider to fight these demons?
Not only humans suffer. Elephants and other animals are treated as pure garbage by us humans😥
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
I'm the one who knocks.
I've imagined myself shed my skin ... how did you know
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
My death drive brings me here
I had it too. Don't give in. Seek help. It's like Attacks. Not real although it feels like it.
Thank you for reminding myself and other me (bad inner voices inside me) you kind stranger... 😅
I feel a sense of belonging here ...
We all will be going through this together.@@animalliberationCLBB
Your drive for life brings you here. Think about it. Why else would you be seeking for help (watching these videos)?
Man, I feel that. That’s all I can say, is I really get it. It feels like things are getting worse. I had to unplug completely from the news, it was messing with me. Sometimes it feels like the world is burning around you, and sometimes it is. We pull together though, and you will make it.
Me too. After about a year of improvement getting rejected has put me right back at square one: bedridden with ideations. I'm so over life. I'm just ready.
I overcame BPD by giving up feelings alltogether... now i feel nothing and expect nothing,., I've basically become a Zombie... a living dead organism
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It takes courage to open up about personal struggles.
Over the past few weeks ( due to some changes I have made to my diet) I have been feeling bursts of hope here and there which I have not felt for the longest time. It's a strange feeling, and I sometimes do not know what to do with my new found optimism xD Is this common? Can anybody relate?
It's great to hear that you're experiencing bursts of hope! Keep embracing that optimism.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you!! Mental health professionals like you are a real asset to the mental health field
Everything ever created in the world was imagined first
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
I'm really struggling with doing things differently at the moment. My therapist stepped on an old emotional button and even though we spoke about it being an old reaction and I calmed down in the moment, I'm thinking about it again after the session and becoming upset again. I don't know how he can just say that the thing I'm thinking is an assumption when I'm convinced that it's true.
It's tough when our emotions get triggered, especially when we feel strongly about something. Remember, therapy is a process, and it's okay to have these ups and downs.
@@DrDanielFox thanks Dr Fox. It seems like such a mess at the moment and with the intensity I don't know if I can stop myself from making it worse.
Does anyone have any advice or resources for Couples?
Dr. Fox has a bunch of helpful videos for partners, family, and couples. I would check out his playlists. I'm not sure if I can share a link to one but I'll try. th-cam.com/video/Vsj8QaDcjQI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=6A5-TMDhrl9bGieB
Great communication is key. Learn patterns and triggers of the person with the disorder, figure out how and when to adapt (and when not to).
My wife is Borderline but doesn't understand why she does anything she says
The only suggestion I could make would be to check out either of dr fox’s books because they’re really insightful.
Your wife is not a whole disorder. She might *have* BPD, but she isn't BPD.
@@ajhproductions2347
Are you Dr.Fox in disguise?
@@Stopnormalizingviolence
Stopnormalizinggenderfluidity
🏆 Thank you! I cannot believe how far I've come. I never thought I'd ever get to where I don't hate myself. Thank you for your videos over the years. In addition to therapy, effort, and treating co-morbid conditions with medication, I no longer self harm and rarely get the urge to. I have learned to manage those urges, even when they're incredibly strong, and it's in no small part due to watching your videos as part of the process. Thank you.
I'm so happy to hear about your progress! Keep up the amazing work!
Yes thank you. I also started to shower and stuff again thank you
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
This video got me out of bed. Thank you Doctor 😊
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.