Throughout my dating history, I've been punished many times with sexual withholding for not endorsing a woman's beliefs. I call this the "Lysistrata Protocol", as it is inspired by the behavior of the Greek women in Aristophanes's play of the same name. However, while the women were successful in changing society on stage, this tactic is self-defeating in an open and diverse sexual marketplace. In this episode, I explain why. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
The problem is that there are a lot of simps e everywhere, it unbelievable how they lick women feet and all for not having even a slight chance of having sex. Here in Mexico there is a youtuber very similar to that American guy named Tate I don't know his last name, and he points behaviors that you should be aware as a man to not to engage with problematic women, and besides women, you see a lot of simps attacking him and most of them are exactly the kind of person that always beg for women attention and only receive disrespect and rejection, or are in relationships where they are submissive.
uh, I think simps are the male equivalent of what's discussed in the video, though. Except that they're duped more by women and society rather than fellow men.
Sexual withholding is the tacit admission from the woman that the only "card" she has to influence matters is sex. Take away that card (by moving on to the next one) and you shatter her ego.
My ex divorced me after years of that shit, when I finally told her she couldn't cut me off because she had already forced me to acquire multiple sources and she'd never know where I was getting it from.
Well that’s why sometimes when asked they start saying stupid BS like: I bring to the table loyalty, I’m always smiling etc… the elephant in the room is that lots of them specially the hotter ones don’t bring anything that valuable other than sex
This is another reason not to get married. Many wives use this strategy knowing that their husband can't easily move on. It's a terrible situation to be in.
All too common. Would love to see a @PsycHacks video containing advice for men who are experiencing their partners manipulatively withholding sex within a long term relationship.
@@othoia1234 He has made one covering it a bit. Advice is to behave as though you're having an affair to spark a sense of dread and competition anxiety. Problem is that it doesn't work if the woman never actually cared about you. If you've gotten yourself into that situation you just have to leave and take the hit.
This. The current laws regulating marriage basically involve the dissolution of the marriage and what responsibilities the parties have to each other (alimony, etc) after divorce.
I've never understood why people feel they need permission from their liege lord to have a social relationship. Don't act like a serf, act like a free man!
I’m on a dating app and it is so common. Every 5th profile or so has some version of this: no white hetero cis men, no trumpers, cops, military, conservative, or christians. I never see it the other way around I have never seen a conservative woman say she wouldn’t date a democrat. It’s funny how the people who spout tolerance are actually the most intolerant people I’ve ever met
in 2022 only 26% of women ages 18-29 voted republican, 72% voting democrat. Say what you will about tolerance and intolerance but I think a much more likely interpretation of the anecdote you are describing is that there are little to no hardline conservative young women in the US, not that the behaviors of progressive women are different from the behaviors of conservative women.
It’s really absurd how hatefully discouraged they are getting. We use to be able to have free and open speech… without a balanced amount of opposition, the brain can’t function on its toes. They don’t see how they are programming themselves to be soft, and this will eventually twist them into becoming the Dumb’acratic Party… … 😵💫 … such a shame because they are too intelligent to be misled like this. (Kind of like what calculators have done to us.)
It’s really absurd how hatefully discouraged they are getting. We use to be able to have free and open speech… without a balanced amount of opposition, the brain can’t function on its toes. They don’t see how they are programming themselves to be soft, and this will eventually twist them into becoming the Dumb’acratic Party… … 😵💫 … such a shame because they are too intelligent to be misled like this. (It’s kind of like what calculators have done to us.)
This also explains why women publicly support other women choosing a sexually promiscuous lifestyle. Yet relatively remaining sexually modest themselves.
Yes, this is true as well. The educated women who support the most radical and depraved forms of living live very traditional lives. This was discussed in an episode of the Sam Harris podcast with Charles Murray I believe.
@MartinMMeiss-mj6li a version of the story is that it walked, and then lost its legs as punishment for deceiving Eve and made to crawl on its belly. But that has nothing to do with the original topic 😅
@@markrcca5329 Yeah, you're right, it is off topic, but that often happens in conversations. I must say, though, it seems to me that as punishment, it was a bust. Most of the snakes I've seen actually seem to ENJOY slithering around on there bellies.
I absolutely LOVE this spot on episode! My experience: At University a few females were seeking out my attention. All of them were in some type of Arts programs and I was taking Mechanical Engineering. We would often go for lunch together when our schedules allowed and have light conversation about life in general and what they had just learned in their classes. At one of these lunches I mentioned I was excited to fly out for the long weekend for a national competition. One of them asked what I competing in so I just replied ISU. After a bit more questioning they found out that I competed in Olympic class handgun competitions with the potential of going to the Olympics. One of the women immediately got really shaky and flustered, stood up, exclaimed loudly for the whole restaurant to hear, at almost a scream level "GUNS KILL PEOPLE" and stomped off as fast as she could. The other two paused, didn't know what to do so bowed their heads and quickly, but without fanfare, scurried off without saying a word. I never spoke to them again. Everyone else in the restaurant obviously was staring at the scene and I just laughed it off. It is a so ironic that these "free thinkers" proved themselves opposite.
@@poremechen It was a very unreal situation. There we all are having a great lively conversation about life events, their latest free thinking understandings from their philosophy classes, etc... Then because I owned competition handguns (note: these things are in no way tactical, they are low powered and low caliber as they are ONLY designed for accuracy) I all of a sudden became a mass murderer of minority crippled orphaned children.🙄
Haha! Priceless! I had a girlfriend, back in 2016, who told me that if I voted for Trump, she couldn’t be with me. I let her go that day. No need to wait for the election! She couldn’t believe that I did it. No take backs! Bye Felicia!
Depends on why she objected to you voting for Trump. He is clearly and unashamedly, a misogynist, and judged in a court of law, to be guilty of sexually assaulting at least one woman. This, in itself would seem perfectly reasonable grounds for her not to want to be with you unless you could somehow persuade her that you acknowledged his character failings but nevertheless felt that you were compelled to vote for him for political reasons despite that.
My very recent Ex did this, A LOT. She said she doesn’t think she can be with someone who doesn’t support her activism, etc. I couldn’t even take photos of other women (I’m a photographer) because she thinks that to take good photos you have to find the beauty in their curves etc. She grew angrier and started a lot more arguments with me after I said I wouldn’t partake in her activism and I told her that my photography is my job and my passion and I’ll photograph who I want, when I want. Fast forward to two or three weeks ago, we broke up. I literally couldn’t take her bull* anymore. I urge every man to do this. The freedom I have felt not being under constant pressure from her is heavenly liberating.
I am reminded of a socialist author who was FURIOUS that nobody was buying his book and instead bought things from rully popular authors who sold millions of copies. The socialist thought this should literally be OUTLAWED, and that people who bought books should simply be sent a random one from a list of books so every author sold exactly the same amount. I took it as a kind of tacit admission: that his books weren't made to entertain or inform anyone, so he knew the only way anyone would take one was if they had no choice.
In the immortal words of Al Bundy (from Married With Children) in advice to his son: "Never try to understand a woman, it's impossible. Only women can understand women -- that's why they hate each other".
Encouraging other women to be obese and expect acceptance (not to mention the evil lie that it’s healthy) is another prime example of what he is discussing near the end.
oh waw that makes a lot of sense. especially with the "every woman is a 10" thing. of course every woman is a "10" this way they don't have to work on themselves to be better.
i'm a 40 year old man from the SF bay area & age 30 women is more & more becoming the cutoff age for me, as i'm finding that women over that age have kids or too much baggage & if they are single, they haven't been chosen because of severe personality issues. but women under age 30 are more commonly having this way of thinking. if you voted for trump, if you're not far-left progressive, not vaxxed or don't support BLM, they won't date you or severe problems always come up where they disagree with you on social justice issues they don't actually care about. i'm black & I had a white girl call me racist for not supporting BLM because I know its a scam. withholding for political reasons is making Gen-Z women more & more undateable. i'm not conservative, but i'd date a middle american/trad-con woman in a heartbeat. i wouldn't touch a liberal progressive woman with somebody else's 10-foot pole.
@AviatorsVEVO I hear you and agree with you 100%. I feel for you man. At 63 years old and a CIS, white, middle of the road politically, educated, male, I might as well be the head of the local proud boys when I meet any women of any age. So using the minimum age I can date a women from the Seinfeld show, half your age + 7 years, brings my minimum dating age to 38. They are too damaged at that age.
my good friend left SF in 2009 describing it as a city full of 7's who think they are gods. It has probably only become worse and now that 2009 description applies to several other metro areas.
I swear this guy says what I've been thinking all the time. I have been thinking lately that if I had to give advice to young men, it would be to never consider dating or having sex with a feminist. My experience with feminism is that it is a narcissistic, shallow, and hateful ideology. I never have positive interactions with it and all of the art created in its name is explicitly antagonistic toward men. Feminism is the act of making one's self less desirable to men while increasing the value of those who abstain from it.
Agreed. Even though I do support positive change in the equity of the sexes, I have no desire to me in a romantic relationship with someone who is inherently combative towards what I am
This issue is not feminism, it is misandry even traditional women or feminine women. Plus there behaviors provide an advantage in favor of women, it is human to only use it, especially if it favors them, plus other men will agree with them, so net net. They have the majority rule
Maybe if the west was to get in another serious war (I am being serious) woman would again realize who is important to build a connection and/or relationship with. Right now they are living easier than ever… in history… yeah…
Broaden your horizon brother. This ideology stretches across ponds in all directions. It's not just in your own backyard. Don't think for a second that this feminist ideology hasn't penetrated most counties/states. It indeed has.
If she starts any of that stuff I say: "You can't make me feel guilty about your politics, and feminist diatribes make me softer than marshmallows, so let's not waste each other's time. Please leave now."
the 'zero diet take' is always an option, for everyone. and even regardless of the other sides' musings. no self-respecting gent owes any xx.s rel.shit commitment or even only free attention (aka simping), to just not start with.
Orion, this might have been your best one yet. The logical progression of this episode is so good that I would call it adamant to it's core. Encore applause to you and thank you for your service to humanity.
I don't think the core issue is political. I think the core issue is women overvaluing themselves because of social media and dating sites. That's when they start applying arbitrary requirements and parameters for their partner - when they think they can do better. Just looking for an excuse to dump. If a woman is *truly* in to you, they'll let you do whatever you want. The political crap is just another way of saying "I can do better than you."
Sort of its not as simple as just blaming social media though. For example the pill makes women really bad at long-term decision making, we've known this since the 80's.
Disagree, social media is not the cause, but it is the medium that spreads this virus like a wildfire. These ideas and backwards ways of thinking have been around for god knows how long. The current variation of these ideas is what you see on social media, but the underlying cause has been the same for a long time. The actual core issue at hand is feminism/blue pill way of thinking. Women have evolved to manipulate (as the strongest man will always be stronger then the strongest women), and yet, a study showed that heterosexual women's number one fear in a relationship, is being manipulated... That doesn't make any sense when you don't have that same fear of being manipulated *by other women*, but that is not the case. Women somehow believe that women, who like I said are more manipulative, are more trustworthy then any given man. Most women do not have real friends, but instead opt to be part of what I call a "female support group". The difference between a friend group and a support group, is that friends will help to make you better, whereas a support group only wants to make you *feel* better. Big difference between the two. In the support groups you will find women cheering for fat, ugly, bald women to become even crazier, as the alternative (keeping it real) can result in these fat, ugly, bald women becoming *more* attractive then these other women. I've never heard of any man doing the same, but yet they are demonized and labeled as the most untrustworthy, manipulative creatures ever. Can you make sense of this nonsense? I can't.
I’ve experienced this first hand, I’ve been with women who cheer with their friends against the “patriarchy” and then talk mad shit about the political views of the girls she was just rejoicing with. Not sure it was about a mate strategy, might just be about staying with the group but it happened all the same.
It is exactly how Orion put it at the end: prioritization of the validation and support from the group over getting the same validation and approval of men. So yes, as you put it at the end, it is about staying with the group.
Dude, I was going to move to the town of Sonoma (from Davis) when I retired. But, when the time came I moved to Placer Co instead for exactly the reason that most of the women I'm attracted to in the Bay Area are batshit crazy with politics and judgy AF.
I don't remember where I heard it, but recently the point of a "proxy war" being waged by women by getting into the heads of other women, their competition, about how their male partner isn't doing enough, planting seeds of discontent and creating issues in the relationships of these other, easily manipulated women. I've experienced this in my relationships all the time. Why women listen to these other women is something I can never understand.
Hello Orion: One of my sisters was an incredibly hardcore feminist. When she eventually did get married, she married a guy who was so incredibly alpha that he volunteered for the army, then volunteered to serve in Vietnam, and he voted for the conservative side of politics. What feminists think they want and what they really do want, are completely different things. Have a wonderful day.
This has largely been my experience dating.. and I'm a lefty. I'm just committed to being open minded and approaching each separate issue independently so pretty much none of my positions on culture lineup with radical 3rd wave feminism... I also will not tolerate bigots in my romantic life. The fact that these women disqualify themselves is a blessing
I wonder why he had to make a video about it. I would rather keep this a secret so that none of them can try to creep their ideologies in a different way. Do you think some men really get caught up in the frustration of missing out on a hot woman because of her bigotry? Is it so bad they may fall for the illusion that every woman is holding up that wall? Just by typing it I realize how deeply absurd it is to do it. How arrogant must you be to think that is a viable stance...
@@nikeisagreekgoddess4135 yes some men will convince themselves it's just a fad or I can change her. Many many more men are willing to tolerate it for short term sexual opportunity. I think that is becoming less the norm as more men wake up to just how wide spread the issue is
I had to chuckle at this one! It reminded me that I, as a man, sort of do the same thing. When I see two attractive guys walking and holding hands or hanging on each other (an obvious gay couple) it actually makes me a little bit more happy! Why? Two major competitors have removed themselves from the competition!🤣
YES!!! My best female friend has been celibate for 20-plus years. She's unfortunately also been boyfriend-less for the same amount of time. She thinks I'm slutty which is fine, but I'm rarely without a boyfriend.
It's important to remember that Dr. Taraban's date ended on a sour note NOT because of feminism, but because they just were not a match. It is completely fair to expect a prospective partner to align on values that are important to you. The challenge is deciding what can you live with and what can you not because total alignment is not possible and with each non-negotiable you have you reduce the size of your dating pool which is also a good thing in general. for example why would someone who is an anti-abortion conservative would want to go out with a pro-choice feminist? You will not change the world by not sleeping with a person who doesn't align with your values as the video points out BUT you will save yourself from a dysfunctional relationship which is the entire point of having standards and boundaries.
What I really admire about you is that you explain things simply and logically! You definitely go against the flow…but that makes you even more valuable!
We also see this in international trade. Europeans virtue signals against Russia, sanctioned energy, withdrawing business, but the void was just filled with other nations and Russias domestic companies. While Europeans spend even higher cost to purchase American energy and Russian energy via India. America is supporting the war to continue since weapon sales and energy export boomed at Europeans' expanses
Just an observation: Many EU countries are lead by females, and all of them have very high fraction of females in government. Which might explain this (self defeating) strategy.
Not to criticize your point but India has not been encouraging Europe to boycott Russia as well as having made their motive of keeping their citizens needs first very clearly.
He was an actor before he was a psychologist. He knows how to study the script he writes, and how to deliver it. It helps that he's brilliant in a down to earth way. Modern version of Mark Twain or Ronald Reagan (in the making).
Especially single women. More especially her "crew" if she is married and the rest are never marrieds. Absolute worst are the divorcees. Especially when they are her family. The closer the kinship, the more they should be avoided wherever possible though you will be accused of being abusive and controlling. God help you if it is your Mother in law who gets divorced after the two of you are already married.
The two key roles the modern independent and strong women play but is never talked about: keep the men psychologically enslaved, and keep the man working their arse off.
This resonates with me well. I’ve experienced this several times within the past 3 years. I predict this will only get worse because the agenda of woman feminism is getting pushed more and more. Additionally, I fundamentally believe the more socially educated we become, the less we will tolerate from the opposite sex regardless of the attraction. It’s far too hard to play along with stupidity when we begin to operate on a logical mindset. We love you PsycHacks from Florida.
I suspect that had you exclaimed to the librarian that your all time favorite writers are Phyllis Schafly, Ayn Rand, Ann Coulter, and Naomi Wolf, these would not have met her “diversity quota”.
At least once a day that old librarian says “my body, my choice“, yes he doesn’t respect him for living “my brain, my choice.“ Feminists are not even my name. They are a liability for false accusations. Imagine a guy telling her she does not have enough male authors. He would be labeled an abuser.
I could not imagine what it would be like for a husband to be controlled by his wife like this - that all it would take is the withdrawal of sexual access from her, and she has him locked down... It must be torture... I have never been married, but I know what it's like to feel trapped in a relationship that was never going to work, yet continued to fight and try to work things out... Wisdom, ladies and gentlemen... Greater wisdom, always...
It's similar to the Lysistrata Protocol (but for men). You will never be able to get *most* men on the same page because other simps will see it as an opportunity to *SIMP BIGGER & HARDER* to "attract" women once a large chunk of their competition is no longer simping.
It also doesnt work because the majority of women don't value oaths/duties (look up which sex initiates divorce the most) as much as men (majority of women, i know there are some ride or die women out there). It's very rare for a woman to sacrifice herself for others, which is why those stories are sooo legendary when it happens. Its so common for men to sacrifice themselves for others that all women intuitively expect it and all men intuitively realize it. Most women self sacrifice stories are remembered/told (most, not all), and most men self sacrifice stories go untold/forgotten (most, not all).
I know dozens of women whose life revolves around caring for a sick or disabled family member in a way that no man ever would. Womens criteria for what sacrifices to make just differ, dramatically, from mens.
@@drwayne_carter9115 If the commenter above mentions dozens of women caring for sick and disabled family members it does counter your claim that it’s “very rare” for women to sacrifice herself for others though. Saying it isn’t zero doesn’t counter that point.
@@joygibbons5482 I was also talking about the sacrifice of life which for a woman is very rare (not zero), but you and the other commenter seem to equate caring for the sick and disabled as the same as giving up your life, which isn't equal because death is the ultimate sacrifice. There is no denying that men (on average) hold oaths and duties to a higher degree than women (most of the time, not every time).
My wife and I have quite different politics; also, my politics tend to diverge from her reference group. Her friends and family. This is a situation that only causes trouble. As to sexual withholding, yes, I have experienced this any number of times for wrongthink.
This is also why arresting prostitutes and drug dealers doesn't really impact crime levels much: it is virtually impossible to eliminate supply entirely and restricting the supply only increases the price and keeps the providers of illicit services in business with bigger profits. If you really want to impact those crime levels, you need to go after USERS, not PROVIDERS. If the supply of users is restricted, the profit from crime goes down and down until it's not even worth the effort any more. Pursuing users, however, is never quite as popular because they are often seen as addicts and victims themselves.
Usually I can more or less see where you're going with the topics on your channel, but this time I was stunned. This is brilliant psychologically, and also brings some comfort. I'll remember this next time I see one of those blue haired feminists ❤
Dr Orion! 🎉You are a master at frame control and guiding people's attention especially through your metaphors. It is a very admirable and masculine trait!! Keep up the good work
In my experience religious women are very similar. In fact I would say I was super sexy to them when they saw me as religious. However, eventually I would be found to be too "human" with faults and sins ect... Subsequently I would fall from grace, like Adam, and they would leave in a fit of some sort throwing phrases at terms indicating I had somehow let them down. The funny thing was I didnt change something of thier "image" of me changed. I went from being "god-like" to a devil in the twitch of an eye! This is why the ati-woke war is a joke. I saw woke-ism on the religious right years before I ever heard of "political correctnes". I think both movements are driven by a misplaced feminine desire for perfection. Sort of eminating from the motherly nesting instict I suppose, only extended out to make an entire world view. So, right or left politics seem both to be driven by this.
I'm a member of the "religious right," and even I agree that the right is WAY too chivalrous and is full of WAY too many simps. Both the left and the right act like women can do no wrong and everything is always one hundred percent men's fault. If women behave badly or cause problems, it's always because men somehow "forced" them to do it. (Those poor innocent women are always just victims of their circumstances.)
Currently there's an "Escape the Corset" movement popular (at least online) in South Korea trying to fight the sky-high beauty standards over there. I just laughed when I first heard about it because the women who continue to maintain their beauty standards will just snap up the desirable men.
I've been aware of the Lysitrata story for decades, but never did any intellectual exercise beyond the basic story. Dr Taraban has done an excellent job of thinking this through.
Indeed. It did opened my eyes to things I would have never thought of. It does have many roadblocks that you need to overcome though. But I'm happy that I'm trying my best to confront them.
When done voluntarily maybe. I don't know that I've found it all that enlightening. Although it was mostly from me giving up early and being a social hermit.
I’ve practiced it out of grief. I’m not a big stud but I’m a musician, can be funny and sociable and have had a number of partners. My last ex cheated on me while my father was dying and later mentioned he was much larger endowed than me (I’m average size for for North American) he was also 6’2 to my 5’9 and very popular with women though not the kind I find appealing personally. My ex however wrote me a breakup letter that was incredibly sweet and seemingly genuine. Later I found out she was with him 2 weeks later. 14 days exactly. We had been mutually in love. Or she had told me as much. Not to mention she was older and mentioned an ex cheating on her. I assured her I loved her far too much to hurt her that way which was true. Though I could have. When I found out I was devastated and shocked. Still am. 14. Days in her mid forties and she abandoned me my profound love for her a week after my dad died so she could drive every weekend to this guys house out of town and sleep with him for five months. She came back after five months. My hunch is she was too old to have a child and/or he felt no reason or desire to commit. This was doubly insulting. The guy was a loser anyway aside from his physical gifts. I did not find out till our relationship itself fell apart. Mainly because my gut told me something was off. When she did admit. I demanded a a full apology in person and acknowledged ment of how many years I lost due to her incredibly hypocritical actions. She was an overt feminist who cried when Trump won and was “monogamous”!she refused to apologize since we were technically on break but dating other people was not the reason given remotely. She actually used the suicide of her ex and the grief as the main reason. She’d had another boyfriend for over a year when he tragically took his life. I have had three one night stands since her but found myself sadder afterwards. Her reputation remains stellar and she is now married to a wealthy older man (of course)she remains “friends” with her well hung buddy who now has a child from some younger woman. He told me he “didn’t give a shit.” When I wrote him an email asking if he knew my ex had nother man in her life and my father just died. Guys 53 years old I don’t consider that a man. Just a biotic coasting on large member. I’d trusted a decade older woman who led a respectable life and was smart and seemingly ethical. I no longer have the stomach to listen to women. I listened to her for years but in action she chose large penis and finally larger wallet and left me alone fighting cancer. Obviously she is one woman not all. Butt the blatant hypergamy and leaving me for the handsome jock has opened my eyes to how commonly woman say one thing and behave the opposite. Lie. Is a simpler s description. I feel sickened by her and many her I’ve encountered (I’m 47 now and don’t date). When I had chemo none of the women who professed undying love to me when we dated managed to visit me either. I’m focusing on my work. We’re I to become wealthy I’m sure I’d have a good number of options again but that’s the problem. I find it disgusting. Funny. In my 20s I was a romantic who was cast as Romeo three times. I’m not high and mighty or blind to large breasted women the difference is at my age now is prefer to pay for it than endure any more foolish brats. The worst is the “not all women” crowd. My ex was one of those when we met. We’re she single and struggling alone now I’d have respect for her. That society essentially rewards her behavior has led me to drop out. I don’t see a family or children in my future. I’m seeking therapy mainly to deal with my anger but am seeming a male theraoist in a profession dominated by women. Often divorces whose intellectual and philosophical gaps lead me to suspect alimony pays the office rent. I’ve seen this actually before even in divorce lawyers.
The story that you gave as an example is just a method of weeding out people who aren't a good fit together. It was a win for both of you to find out so early that you weren't compatible. That isn't a problem it's a gift.
Ya but that's not the point. The point is women who think like this make themselves less desirable to men and increase the value of women who don't think like this. If you read the comments section, you'll see that this is what men got from the video. He's not complaining that it happened, he literally said no skin off his back.
@@bottomturtlepodcast5070 i understand what you are saying. I understand that this makes women less desirable for certain men, but the point is with big value differences, neither one would be interested in the other for anything long term. There are lots of other men and women much better suited for both of them. This is exactly what you want/need to happen. Weed out early!!
@@elsa_nyc His point was precisely that this is a large-scale social issue (utilizing sex as a political tool) and not simply a matter of incompatibility.
Been there - at 2:45, and "personal threat to be condemned." Several years ago I was e-mailing a local w0man on a dating site. We discussed maybe meeting up at a pizza place I passed by on my way home from work, that she wanted to check out. In her profile, she stated that she had a dog. Through EMing, I mentioned that I wasn't a fan of dogs. You'd think I asked her to sacrifice a child; she was not happy I didn't *love* dogs. I shared with her that while I am not a fan of dogs - my: parents, sister, and best bud *all* had dogs, and that didn't impact me visiting their houses, etc. No good. She took it as an affront that I wouldn't love *her* dog. I wished her good luck. *And* - in my last e-mail, told her that her dog: 1) won't comfort her if she's in the hospital; 2) won't travel with her and create memories; 3) won't share their SS / pension and support her in her old age; etc.
Absolutely true. Although I am sad to see the death of femininity these days, and culturally speaking it's probably doing a lot of harm, the silver lining is that it does thin out the competition, especially for an average looking girl like myself. I know I probably wouldn't have had access to my boyfriend 30 years ago.
"Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside of their reasoned choice" -Epictetus Apply this to dating in modernity, and you will have peace and lack despair...even if your bed is less transiently occupied.
I read this book "Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb, basically she did all these studies about how women get themselves out of the mating game by making up all these rules (she was one of them. Had to have a child via artificial insemination because no one would settle down with her). Basically, single and childless women are the biggest growing demographic in America. There's basically two girls out there, those that want perfection, and those that know a catch when they see one. The latter gets married while the former ends up living alone. It was a very interesting read. Also validating, because I thought I was crazy with how picky some of these girls are. Also, totally agree with the dupes theory. One of the greatest weaknesses a lot of women have is listening to other women with no critical filter. They are very suggestive and can be comforted by warm voices. Out of all the times Ive had to listen to stories about girls getting stabbed in the back by "friends" with a smile on their face or some such nonsense, I'm surprised more women as a whole haven't developed some mechanism to decipher female trickery. Only the shrewdest among them do this. So these girls all promote this "body positivity" and things, being disagreeable with men for no reason -while maybe not invented as a tactic for improving mate selection, it's certainly been co-opted for that.
I think the reason women don't notice manipulation from other women easily is because they believe the other woman doesn't have an agenda. If it's a man, she might think, "Oh he wants to get in my pants", so they notice he has an agenda and move carefully. But if it's another woman they don't realize that she has an agenda, hence they bring down their defenses and blindly trust her
I think you're right. This is thought to be why bonobos have a much more gentle male population than chimpanzees: bonobos live in a small isolated protected area where there is no need for the males to be aggressive, and the females punish aggressive males, while chimpanzees live in larger, more vulnerable areas and can migrate from place to place or from troupe to troupe, and male aggression is often beneficial to the entire troupe and also to the aggressive individuals.
@Dru2maBoii...I think the hook-up culture is directly related to 2nd and 3rd wave feminism (not first wave) when women misinterpret feminism to mean they can do whatever guys do...such as drink just as much as a big guy and then be surprised if she passes out and finds herself in his bed. Legal issues can get involved. Girls need to be smarter and men do also. Same for first year girls at university going to frat parties. Really not particularly safe situations for girls unless they are very self-aware and can see past player BS
What do I think? I think anything done with the intention of manipulate someone is disgusting, selfish & not loving. It doesn’t matter what gender they are or what are they using, sex or food or whatever…Now I respect persuasion, but that takes a different approach one with brains, heart and selflessness at it core and one is not obsessed with pushing people to do what they don’t want too, but is respectful, I don’t like manipulative ppl but I love ppl that had persuaded me to become a better person 💞
This is such an important and spot-on video Orion! Thank you so much for highlighting this disturbing fact. I have been thinking about this exact topic for such a long time. I hope you will make more videos with topics adjacent to this.
I tried online dating a couple of years ago. I met a woman who said she wasn't going to have sex with men until the laws changed on abortion. My thoughts on this at the time was that she was only hurting herself. She was nice to talk to, but instead of putting any effort into pursuing her, I simply went out with other women. Sex isn't the only thing in a relationship with a woman, but if I had no sex drive, I would not have been looking for a relationship with a woman.
If your wants and needs such as sex or not being met in a relationship, please leave that relationship. Reciprocal relationships only. Men, do not be cowards, overtly ask or state what you want in a relationship. If she does it want to give you what you want, move on to another woman Who will.
@@thinking-laafThat's a tough one. Hope that's not something you're dealing with personally. I suppose all you can do is vocalize your concerns and try to work through the issue, but there's no guarantee of success.
What if you’re a Christian and are practicing abstinence until marriage ? I guess maybe this isn’t the channel for that, but I believe it’s still worth discussing. Not everyone adheres to societal norms. I don’t want to be touched by numerous men.
@TheHamburgler123 I was. I divorced. We were 100% opposite, and this was literally 15y of no sex. She made one decision and that was my breaking point.
This video made me think of a similar strategy in socialist circles. Every living thought leader in socialism is a wealthy brand owner, yet they espouse ideas and ideology contrary to their own actions. Perhaps they are consciously or unconsciously sabotaging their followers to eliminate them as competition in the realm of capitalism.
Throughout my dating history, I've been punished many times with sexual withholding for not endorsing a woman's beliefs. I call this the "Lysistrata Protocol", as it is inspired by the behavior of the Greek women in Aristophanes's play of the same name. However, while the women were successful in changing society on stage, this tactic is self-defeating in an open and diverse sexual marketplace. In this episode, I explain why.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #women
Could you do a video on why and how you ended up in San Francisco and why you stay there
This man is so professional he doesn’t even have to edit his videos 😂
I think about this often , he just nails it in one take
u mean well spoken.
I wonder though how man takes it takes him. Also: it’s just very nice story writing and thinking the message through before talking
He uses something like a teleprompter. Normal thing to do.
It's just called being well prepared and having thorough knowledge of the subject you are covering
To all my fellow men and simps, if they don’t want to cooperate just leave them alone with their cats
The problem is that there are a lot of simps e everywhere, it unbelievable how they lick women feet and all for not having even a slight chance of having sex.
Here in Mexico there is a youtuber very similar to that American guy named Tate I don't know his last name, and he points behaviors that you should be aware as a man to not to engage with problematic women, and besides women, you see a lot of simps attacking him and most of them are exactly the kind of person that always beg for women attention and only receive disrespect and rejection, or are in relationships where they are submissive.
😂
So true. As I get older, I’m way less willing to deal with BS in order to get laid. These ladies are out of their minds.
We should BAN that practise as Animal cruelty! xD
Just travel. You can literally reprogram a hot foreign broad against cultural marxism so long as you are well spoken and attractive.
uh, I think simps are the male equivalent of what's discussed in the video, though. Except that they're duped more by women and society rather than fellow men.
Sexual withholding is the tacit admission from the woman that the only "card" she has to influence matters is sex.
Take away that card (by moving on to the next one) and you shatter her ego.
Destroy her ego 😂
My ex divorced me after years of that shit, when I finally told her she couldn't cut me off because she had already forced me to acquire multiple sources and she'd never know where I was getting it from.
Well that’s why sometimes when asked they start saying stupid BS like: I bring to the table loyalty, I’m always smiling etc… the elephant in the room is that lots of them specially the hotter ones don’t bring anything that valuable other than sex
This is another reason not to get married. Many wives use this strategy knowing that their husband can't easily move on. It's a terrible situation to be in.
All too common. Would love to see a @PsycHacks video containing advice for men who are experiencing their partners manipulatively withholding sex within a long term relationship.
@@othoia1234 He has made one covering it a bit. Advice is to behave as though you're having an affair to spark a sense of dread and competition anxiety. Problem is that it doesn't work if the woman never actually cared about you. If you've gotten yourself into that situation you just have to leave and take the hit.
This. The current laws regulating marriage basically involve the dissolution of the marriage and what responsibilities the parties have to each other (alimony, etc) after divorce.
One more reason to spin plates, even when married.
I've never understood why people feel they need permission from their liege lord to have a social relationship. Don't act like a serf, act like a free man!
I’m on a dating app and it is so common. Every 5th profile or so has some version of this: no white hetero cis men, no trumpers, cops, military, conservative, or christians. I never see it the other way around I have never seen a conservative woman say she wouldn’t date a democrat. It’s funny how the people who spout tolerance are actually the most intolerant people I’ve ever met
Do yourself a favor and lose the dating apps, bro. Your life will be better off for it.
in 2022 only 26% of women ages 18-29 voted republican, 72% voting democrat. Say what you will about tolerance and intolerance but I think a much more likely interpretation of the anecdote you are describing is that there are little to no hardline conservative young women in the US, not that the behaviors of progressive women are different from the behaviors of conservative women.
It’s really absurd how hatefully discouraged they are getting. We use to be able to have free and open speech… without a balanced amount of opposition, the brain can’t function on its toes. They don’t see how they are programming themselves to be soft, and this will eventually twist them into becoming the Dumb’acratic Party… … 😵💫 … such a shame because they are too intelligent to be misled like this. (Kind of like what calculators have done to us.)
It’s really absurd how hatefully discouraged they are getting. We use to be able to have free and open speech… without a balanced amount of opposition, the brain can’t function on its toes. They don’t see how they are programming themselves to be soft, and this will eventually twist them into becoming the Dumb’acratic Party… … 😵💫 … such a shame because they are too intelligent to be misled like this. (It’s kind of like what calculators have done to us.)
On top of those
He needs to be 6" 6 figures etc.
This also explains why women publicly support other women choosing a sexually promiscuous lifestyle. Yet relatively remaining sexually modest themselves.
Yes, this is true as well. The educated women who support the most radical and depraved forms of living live very traditional lives. This was discussed in an episode of the Sam Harris podcast with Charles Murray I believe.
Since the snake in the garden Eden, there' never another creature who walked the earth as cunning as a vvoman
@@richien8472Are you sure the snake walked?
@MartinMMeiss-mj6li a version of the story is that it walked, and then lost its legs as punishment for deceiving Eve and made to crawl on its belly. But that has nothing to do with the original topic 😅
@@markrcca5329 Yeah, you're right, it is off topic, but that often happens in conversations. I must say, though, it seems to me that as punishment, it was a bust. Most of the snakes I've seen actually seem to ENJOY slithering around on there bellies.
I absolutely LOVE this spot on episode!
My experience: At University a few females were seeking out my attention. All of them were in some type of Arts programs and I was taking Mechanical Engineering. We would often go for lunch together when our schedules allowed and have light conversation about life in general and what they had just learned in their classes.
At one of these lunches I mentioned I was excited to fly out for the long weekend for a national competition. One of them asked what I competing in so I just replied ISU. After a bit more questioning they found out that I competed in Olympic class handgun competitions with the potential of going to the Olympics. One of the women immediately got really shaky and flustered, stood up, exclaimed loudly for the whole restaurant to hear, at almost a scream level "GUNS KILL PEOPLE" and stomped off as fast as she could. The other two paused, didn't know what to do so bowed their heads and quickly, but without fanfare, scurried off without saying a word. I never spoke to them again. Everyone else in the restaurant obviously was staring at the scene and I just laughed it off. It is a so ironic that these "free thinkers" proved themselves opposite.
That is unbelievable 😀
@@radoslavtoth391 Trust me, it is believable. And this happened in 1995!
its like monty phyton sketch lol
One could say that you dodged a bullet.
@@poremechen It was a very unreal situation. There we all are having a great lively conversation about life events, their latest free thinking understandings from their philosophy classes, etc... Then because I owned competition handguns (note: these things are in no way tactical, they are low powered and low caliber as they are ONLY designed for accuracy) I all of a sudden became a mass murderer of minority crippled orphaned children.🙄
The moment a women tries to punish you by withholding sex is the moment you cut off the relationship
Haha! Priceless! I had a girlfriend, back in 2016, who told me that if I voted for Trump, she couldn’t be with me. I let her go that day. No need to wait for the election! She couldn’t believe that I did it. No take backs! Bye Felicia!
Same same.
She hadn’t yet figured out that the political parties are just another stage play to distract the herd.
You’re ex is a lame ass trendy liberal
Bravo, my man! Bravo!
Depends on why she objected to you voting for Trump. He is clearly and unashamedly, a misogynist, and judged in a court of law, to be guilty of sexually assaulting at least one woman. This, in itself would seem perfectly reasonable grounds for her not to want to be with you unless you could somehow persuade her that you acknowledged his character failings but nevertheless felt that you were compelled to vote for him for political reasons despite that.
My very recent Ex did this, A LOT. She said she doesn’t think she can be with someone who doesn’t support her activism, etc. I couldn’t even take photos of other women (I’m a photographer) because she thinks that to take good photos you have to find the beauty in their curves etc. She grew angrier and started a lot more arguments with me after I said I wouldn’t partake in her activism and I told her that my photography is my job and my passion and I’ll photograph who I want, when I want. Fast forward to two or three weeks ago, we broke up. I literally couldn’t take her bull* anymore. I urge every man to do this. The freedom I have felt not being under constant pressure from her is heavenly liberating.
Had an old friend, half Korean who suddenly felt entitled to criticize the lack of diversity in the authors I read. WTF is going on out there?
San Francisco is the gay capital of the world... of course its woke smh
It's called being a whamen.
I am reminded of a socialist author who was FURIOUS that nobody was buying his book and instead bought things from rully popular authors who sold millions of copies. The socialist thought this should literally be OUTLAWED, and that people who bought books should simply be sent a random one from a list of books so every author sold exactly the same amount. I took it as a kind of tacit admission: that his books weren't made to entertain or inform anyone, so he knew the only way anyone would take one was if they had no choice.
The biggest cryers are in reality the biggest haters. Society has given them a platform without repercussions
Tryouts for the Victim Olympics
In other words, women backstab and sabotage one another.
Gaslight.
In the immortal words of Al Bundy (from Married With Children) in advice to his son: "Never try to understand a woman, it's impossible. Only women can understand women -- that's why they hate each other".
"They exchanged their reproductive success for the praise of their competitors". Nailed it.
This is the red pill
Encouraging other women to be obese and expect acceptance (not to mention the evil lie that it’s healthy) is another prime example of what he is discussing near the end.
Facts. Encouraging obesity, encouraging promiscuity, and encouraging each other to leave their husbands.
@@Remember-Deathpromiscuity isn’t bad, but the rest are. Only men that don’t score a lot care about a woman’s body count.
oh waw that makes a lot of sense. especially with the "every woman is a 10" thing. of course every woman is a "10" this way they don't have to work on themselves to be better.
i'm a 40 year old man from the SF bay area & age 30 women is more & more becoming the cutoff age for me, as i'm finding that women over that age have kids or too much baggage & if they are single, they haven't been chosen because of severe personality issues. but women under age 30 are more commonly having this way of thinking.
if you voted for trump, if you're not far-left progressive, not vaxxed or don't support BLM, they won't date you or severe problems always come up where they disagree with you on social justice issues they don't actually care about. i'm black & I had a white girl call me racist for not supporting BLM because I know its a scam.
withholding for political reasons is making Gen-Z women more & more undateable. i'm not conservative, but i'd date a middle american/trad-con woman in a heartbeat. i wouldn't touch a liberal progressive woman with somebody else's 10-foot pole.
Dude, I know exactly what you mean. I feel this.
Here here, brother. Well said.
@AviatorsVEVO I hear you and agree with you 100%. I feel for you man.
At 63 years old and a CIS, white, middle of the road politically, educated, male, I might as well be the head of the local proud boys when I meet any women of any age.
So using the minimum age I can date a women from the Seinfeld show, half your age + 7 years, brings my minimum dating age to 38. They are too damaged at that age.
my good friend left SF in 2009 describing it as a city full of 7's who think they are gods. It has probably only become worse and now that 2009 description applies to several other metro areas.
It's almost hilarious how accusations of 'racism' has become almost reflexive for some people - and essentially meaningless as a result.
hahaha this immediately reminds me of a song "Single ladies" by a one married artist who is obedient to her husband and stays married.
😂
Sensational. LOL
Beyonce knows she's too old & can't do better.
Beyonce was the first person I immediately thought of when he mentioned that in the video.
😂😂😂😂 and that popular singer whom we won't mention stayed after her husband cheated on her ✔️
I swear this guy says what I've been thinking all the time. I have been thinking lately that if I had to give advice to young men, it would be to never consider dating or having sex with a feminist. My experience with feminism is that it is a narcissistic, shallow, and hateful ideology. I never have positive interactions with it and all of the art created in its name is explicitly antagonistic toward men. Feminism is the act of making one's self less desirable to men while increasing the value of those who abstain from it.
So sad feminism has become like this, was with a good will
You'd have to be barking mad to prioritize a male-demonising 'philosophy' in your life as a man.
Agreed. Even though I do support positive change in the equity of the sexes, I have no desire to me in a romantic relationship with someone who is inherently combative towards what I am
They’re all feminists, some of them just advertise it more loudly
This issue is not feminism, it is misandry even traditional women or feminine women. Plus there behaviors provide an advantage in favor of women, it is human to only use it, especially if it favors them, plus other men will agree with them, so net net. They have the majority rule
Interesting to hear where you are from. I am from Toronto here. The toxic culture sounds surprisingly similar!!
Toronto is one of the most woke places in all of Canada. Of course its similar.
Maybe if the west was to get in another serious war (I am being serious) woman would again realize who is important to build a connection and/or relationship with. Right now they are living easier than ever… in history… yeah…
This similarity is just a conspiracy theory.
Broaden your horizon brother. This ideology stretches across ponds in all directions. It's not just in your own backyard. Don't think for a second that this feminist ideology hasn't penetrated most counties/states. It indeed has.
@@detroitvcw Canada & California are far more woke than other places.
If she starts any of that stuff I say: "You can't make me feel guilty about your politics, and feminist diatribes make me softer than marshmallows, so let's not waste each other's time. Please leave now."
The irony of men withholding themselves from women with dumb politics is 👌
A red pilled man in San Fran. That takes courage.
that story in the beggining was hilarious, I can't believe that actually happened, you have my sympathy western fellas
It's commonplace, unfortunately
That story is 1000% believable. You have no idea what we're dealing with here.
Это и в России происходит, да и по-моему везде.
Но женщина из силикона или ТПЕ, решает эту проблему на 90%😂
The librarian wanted the frame over the psy... She can read a book but obviously not the room.
It actually goes beyond that. Men are checking out of sexual relationships for peace, even when they have options.
the 'zero diet take' is always an option, for everyone. and even regardless of the other sides' musings. no self-respecting gent owes any xx.s rel.shit commitment or even only free attention (aka simping), to just not start with.
Orion, this might have been your best one yet. The logical progression of this episode is so good that I would call it adamant to it's core. Encore applause to you and thank you for your service to humanity.
At the end of the day, this is just like when women tell each other how cute they look with their pixie cut.
I notice that they always say "cute," but never "pretty" or "beautiful." Seems very telling.
@@kylemacdougall8355 Cute is a 'polite' way for the social conformists to appease other people without outright lying.
It's a lack of vocabulary. They call EVERYTHING "cute" if it's aesthetically pleasing in any way... men, women, kids, shoes, cars....
I don't think the core issue is political. I think the core issue is women overvaluing themselves because of social media and dating sites. That's when they start applying arbitrary requirements and parameters for their partner - when they think they can do better. Just looking for an excuse to dump.
If a woman is *truly* in to you, they'll let you do whatever you want. The political crap is just another way of saying "I can do better than you."
💯
Sort of its not as simple as just blaming social media though. For example the pill makes women really bad at long-term decision making, we've known this since the 80's.
There is undeniable truth to what you are saying...for women's legs are rarely closed to all but those with whom they perfectly share a moral compass.
Disagree, social media is not the cause, but it is the medium that spreads this virus like a wildfire. These ideas and backwards ways of thinking have been around for god knows how long. The current variation of these ideas is what you see on social media, but the underlying cause has been the same for a long time.
The actual core issue at hand is feminism/blue pill way of thinking. Women have evolved to manipulate (as the strongest man will always be stronger then the strongest women), and yet, a study showed that heterosexual women's number one fear in a relationship, is being manipulated...
That doesn't make any sense when you don't have that same fear of being manipulated *by other women*, but that is not the case. Women somehow believe that women, who like I said are more manipulative, are more trustworthy then any given man.
Most women do not have real friends, but instead opt to be part of what I call a "female support group". The difference between a friend group and a support group, is that friends will help to make you better, whereas a support group only wants to make you *feel* better.
Big difference between the two. In the support groups you will find women cheering for fat, ugly, bald women to become even crazier, as the alternative (keeping it real) can result in these fat, ugly, bald women becoming *more* attractive then these other women.
I've never heard of any man doing the same, but yet they are demonized and labeled as the most untrustworthy, manipulative creatures ever.
Can you make sense of this nonsense? I can't.
@@dontcallthemliberals3316 true, but the way women are treating men now didn't emerge nearly as strongly until social media and dating sites.
You have built quite a community i love reading the comments great topics
Yeah, the comments are incredible on this one.
I’ve experienced this first hand, I’ve been with women who cheer with their friends against the “patriarchy” and then talk mad shit about the political views of the girls she was just rejoicing with. Not sure it was about a mate strategy, might just be about staying with the group but it happened all the same.
It is exactly how Orion put it at the end: prioritization of the validation and support from the group over getting the same validation and approval of men. So yes, as you put it at the end, it is about staying with the group.
Wmn almost always subsume their own agency to the herd. They don't care how deceptive it is or how many negative externalities it creates.
Sounds like psychopath behavior
Dude, I was going to move to the town of Sonoma (from Davis) when I retired. But, when the time came I moved to Placer Co instead for exactly the reason that most of the women I'm attracted to in the Bay Area are batshit crazy with politics and judgy AF.
They will become extinct 😂
I don't remember where I heard it, but recently the point of a "proxy war" being waged by women by getting into the heads of other women, their competition, about how their male partner isn't doing enough, planting seeds of discontent and creating issues in the relationships of these other, easily manipulated women. I've experienced this in my relationships all the time.
Why women listen to these other women is something I can never understand.
Hello Orion: One of my sisters was an incredibly hardcore feminist. When she eventually did get married, she married a guy who was so incredibly alpha that he volunteered for the army, then volunteered to serve in Vietnam, and he voted for the conservative side of politics. What feminists think they want and what they really do want, are completely different things. Have a wonderful day.
Her husband must have been miserable
Hahaha. I bet!
@@ronnie1638 You have no idea. Look after yourself.
This has largely been my experience dating.. and I'm a lefty. I'm just committed to being open minded and approaching each separate issue independently so pretty much none of my positions on culture lineup with radical 3rd wave feminism... I also will not tolerate bigots in my romantic life.
The fact that these women disqualify themselves is a blessing
Filtered minded... There's a word a term for you today...
I wonder why he had to make a video about it. I would rather keep this a secret so that none of them can try to creep their ideologies in a different way.
Do you think some men really get caught up in the frustration of missing out on a hot woman because of her bigotry? Is it so bad they may fall for the illusion that every woman is holding up that wall?
Just by typing it I realize how deeply absurd it is to do it. How arrogant must you be to think that is a viable stance...
@@nikeisagreekgoddess4135 yes some men will convince themselves it's just a fad or I can change her. Many many more men are willing to tolerate it for short term sexual opportunity. I think that is becoming less the norm as more men wake up to just how wide spread the issue is
I really like how he assertively set his boundaries without becoming defensive or aggressive. That's the mark of a high confidence man.
Unfathomably based, great video, man. I have never not walked away from one of your videos more knowledgeable. Its always appreciated
I had to chuckle at this one! It reminded me that I, as a man, sort of do the same thing.
When I see two attractive guys walking and holding hands or hanging on each other (an obvious gay couple) it actually makes me a little bit more happy! Why? Two major competitors have removed themselves from the competition!🤣
There ya go...@GrnXnham
Thanks for the honesty!
YES!!! My best female friend has been celibate for 20-plus years. She's unfortunately also been boyfriend-less for the same amount of time. She thinks I'm slutty which is fine, but I'm rarely without a boyfriend.
If the librarian was a brunette, had big glasses and dressed like Stevie Nicks, that should have been your first clue.
Karen usually work in HR.
It's important to remember that Dr. Taraban's date ended on a sour note NOT because of feminism, but because they just were not a match. It is completely fair to expect a prospective partner to align on values that are important to you. The challenge is deciding what can you live with and what can you not because total alignment is not possible and with each non-negotiable you have you reduce the size of your dating pool which is also a good thing in general. for example why would someone who is an anti-abortion conservative would want to go out with a pro-choice feminist? You will not change the world by not sleeping with a person who doesn't align with your values as the video points out BUT you will save yourself from a dysfunctional relationship which is the entire point of having standards and boundaries.
I 100% agree. Fully fits my experience. And -- as always -- sounds very logical. You should go on tour.
What I really admire about you is that you explain things simply and logically! You definitely go against the flow…but that makes you even more valuable!
Lysistrata by Aristophanes is a good play indeed.
Wholly agree with your point of view.
We also see this in international trade. Europeans virtue signals against Russia, sanctioned energy, withdrawing business, but the void was just filled with other nations and Russias domestic companies. While Europeans spend even higher cost to purchase American energy and Russian energy via India. America is supporting the war to continue since weapon sales and energy export boomed at Europeans' expanses
I mean, everyone knew that Russia would continue to sell oil and gas. The point was to make it more expensive for Russia to do so
Just an observation:
Many EU countries are lead by females, and all of them have very high fraction of females in government. Which might explain this (self defeating) strategy.
But the US stopped selling LNG.
Us and Europe still buys Russian oil, and they sell to Russia other products.
Not to criticize your point but India has not been encouraging Europe to boycott Russia as well as having made their motive of keeping their citizens needs first very clearly.
This man needs to write a book
Actually he is.
Yeah he mentioned in another episode he is working on it. Hopefully we will get more details soon.
@@masterTigress96 come to think of it, that rings a bell.
Or, he could just keep "writing" videos on TH-cam.
He was an actor before he was a psychologist. He knows how to study the script he writes, and how to deliver it. It helps that he's brilliant in a down to earth way. Modern version of Mark Twain or Ronald Reagan (in the making).
I wonder if reading Ayn Rand would have triggered the librarian.
100%. The feminist librarian doesn't actually believe in the BS she is spouting. She just has to pretend to care about women.
Ofcourse.
Lol what about Rollo Tomassi haha. Would have send her over the edge in no time!
I'm sure she'd have claimed that she had internalised misogyny.
How many people with a strong opionion about Rand have actully read anything by her? Not many.
(Same goes for anyone else of course)
Thanks for the Lysistrata recommendation. Very interesting to see these same issues and manipulative behavior 2000+ years ago!
A woman’s withdrawal is another woman’s opportunity.
My second wife always says that she's glad that my first wife was such an idiot.
When a woman can’t control you they don’t know how to act. Enjoy the dance 💃
This confirms the phrase that women keep women single.
Especially single women. More especially her "crew" if she is married and the rest are never marrieds. Absolute worst are the divorcees. Especially when they are her family. The closer the kinship, the more they should be avoided wherever possible though you will be accused of being abusive and controlling. God help you if it is your Mother in law who gets divorced after the two of you are already married.
The two key roles the modern independent and strong women play but is never talked about: keep the men psychologically enslaved, and keep the man working their arse off.
Pot calling the kettle black
This resonates with me well. I’ve experienced this several times within the past 3 years. I predict this will only get worse because the agenda of woman feminism is getting pushed more and more. Additionally, I fundamentally believe the more socially educated we become, the less we will tolerate from the opposite sex regardless of the attraction. It’s far too hard to play along with stupidity when we begin to operate on a logical mindset.
We love you PsycHacks from Florida.
Doc, library woman anecdote is wild. Consider yourself blessed for dodging that bullet.
I suspect that had you exclaimed to the librarian that your all time favorite writers are Phyllis Schafly, Ayn Rand, Ann Coulter, and Naomi Wolf, these would not have met her “diversity quota”.
At least once a day that old librarian says “my body, my choice“, yes he doesn’t respect him for living “my brain, my choice.“
Feminists are not even my name. They are a liability for false accusations. Imagine a guy telling her she does not have enough male authors. He would be labeled an abuser.
I could not imagine what it would be like for a husband to be controlled by his wife like this - that all it would take is the withdrawal of sexual access from her, and she has him locked down...
It must be torture...
I have never been married, but I know what it's like to feel trapped in a relationship that was never going to work, yet continued to fight and try to work things out...
Wisdom, ladies and gentlemen...
Greater wisdom, always...
It is a living, breathing hell-on-Earth.
Dr. Taraban, your videos are extremely interesting and professional. Ty Sir!
Please and you make a video addressing simp behavior, hopefully it goes viral and we save some guys and level the market place.
It's similar to the Lysistrata Protocol (but for men). You will never be able to get *most* men on the same page because other simps will see it as an opportunity to *SIMP BIGGER & HARDER* to "attract" women once a large chunk of their competition is no longer simping.
I swear simps are a bigger enemy to manhood than women would ever be.
It also doesnt work because the majority of women don't value oaths/duties (look up which sex initiates divorce the most) as much as men (majority of women, i know there are some ride or die women out there). It's very rare for a woman to sacrifice herself for others, which is why those stories are sooo legendary when it happens. Its so common for men to sacrifice themselves for others that all women intuitively expect it and all men intuitively realize it. Most women self sacrifice stories are remembered/told (most, not all), and most men self sacrifice stories go untold/forgotten (most, not all).
I know dozens of women whose life revolves around caring for a sick or disabled family member in a way that no man ever would. Womens criteria for what sacrifices to make just differ, dramatically, from mens.
@@SmileyEmoji42 I knew there was going to be this comment. Re-read what I put in the parentheses (). Geez, nothing is 100%.
@@drwayne_carter9115 If the commenter above mentions dozens of women caring for sick and disabled family members it does counter your claim that it’s “very rare” for women to sacrifice herself for others though. Saying it isn’t zero doesn’t counter that point.
@@joygibbons5482 I was also talking about the sacrifice of life which for a woman is very rare (not zero), but you and the other commenter seem to equate caring for the sick and disabled as the same as giving up your life, which isn't equal because death is the ultimate sacrifice. There is no denying that men (on average) hold oaths and duties to a higher degree than women (most of the time, not every time).
My wife and I have quite different politics; also, my politics tend to diverge from her reference group. Her friends and family. This is a situation that only causes trouble. As to sexual withholding, yes, I have experienced this any number of times for wrongthink.
Doc, everytime I give advice, before I say anything I say "Im Doctor Orian Taraban and this is Psychhacks."😂
autism
Also, you're not diagnosing anybody in this video, only speculating....oh wait, that's somebody else! 😅
This is also why arresting prostitutes and drug dealers doesn't really impact crime levels much: it is virtually impossible to eliminate supply entirely and restricting the supply only increases the price and keeps the providers of illicit services in business with bigger profits. If you really want to impact those crime levels, you need to go after USERS, not PROVIDERS. If the supply of users is restricted, the profit from crime goes down and down until it's not even worth the effort any more. Pursuing users, however, is never quite as popular because they are often seen as addicts and victims themselves.
Prohibitions fail from attacking either supply or demand.
I live in the SF Bay area as well. You nailed this.
Usually I can more or less see where you're going with the topics on your channel, but this time I was stunned. This is brilliant psychologically, and also brings some comfort. I'll remember this next time I see one of those blue haired feminists ❤
I would also point out that the society that produced Lysistrata, Ancient Athens, lost the Peloponnesian War. Take from that what you will.
This was my belief as to why thin attractive women champion the "body positivity" movement.
Dr Orion! 🎉You are a master at frame control and guiding people's attention especially through your metaphors. It is a very admirable and masculine trait!! Keep up the good work
In my experience religious women are very similar. In fact I would say I was super sexy to them when they saw me as religious. However, eventually I would be found to be too "human" with faults and sins ect... Subsequently I would fall from grace, like Adam, and they would leave in a fit of some sort throwing phrases at terms indicating I had somehow let them down. The funny thing was I didnt change something of thier "image" of me changed. I went from being "god-like" to a devil in the twitch of an eye! This is why the ati-woke war is a joke. I saw woke-ism on the religious right years before I ever heard of "political correctnes". I think both movements are driven by a misplaced feminine desire for perfection. Sort of eminating from the motherly nesting instict I suppose, only extended out to make an entire world view. So, right or left politics seem both to be driven by this.
I'm a member of the "religious right," and even I agree that the right is WAY too chivalrous and is full of WAY too many simps. Both the left and the right act like women can do no wrong and everything is always one hundred percent men's fault. If women behave badly or cause problems, it's always because men somehow "forced" them to do it. (Those poor innocent women are always just victims of their circumstances.)
Perfection for thee but not for me is more like it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible said something about sexual withholding. 😂
Withholding is a similar strategy as conditional love, which in essence is a form of emotional abuse.
And men withhold their financial support (marriage) to gain the upper hand.
This channel is a gem 💎. . Thank you Dr ✨
You had me worried there for a couple of minutes. However, a happy ending as usual. 😂
Currently there's an "Escape the Corset" movement popular (at least online) in South Korea trying to fight the sky-high beauty standards over there. I just laughed when I first heard about it because the women who continue to maintain their beauty standards will just snap up the desirable men.
You might want to check into the 4B movement as well just to round things out.
At least they haven't reached the "Plus Size Corset" movement... yet!
I've been aware of the Lysitrata story for decades, but never did any intellectual exercise beyond the basic story. Dr Taraban has done an excellent job of thinking this through.
Celibacy is very enlightening anyways when done right
Indeed. It did opened my eyes to things I would have never thought of. It does have many roadblocks that you need to overcome though. But I'm happy that I'm trying my best to confront them.
You have lube and tissue beside your computer?
When done voluntarily maybe. I don't know that I've found it all that enlightening. Although it was mostly from me giving up early and being a social hermit.
I’ve practiced it out of grief. I’m not a big stud but I’m a musician, can be funny and sociable and have had a number of partners.
My last ex cheated on me while my father was dying and later mentioned he was much larger endowed than me (I’m average size for for North American) he was also 6’2 to my 5’9 and very popular with women though not the kind I find appealing personally. My ex however wrote me a breakup letter that was incredibly sweet and seemingly genuine. Later I found out she was with him 2 weeks later. 14 days exactly. We had been mutually in love. Or she had told me as much. Not to mention she was older and mentioned an ex cheating on her. I assured her I loved her far too much to hurt her that way which was true. Though I could have. When I found out I was devastated and shocked. Still am. 14. Days in her mid forties and she abandoned me my profound love for her a week after my dad died so she could drive every weekend to this guys house out of town and sleep with him for five months. She came back after five months. My hunch is she was too old to have a child and/or he felt no reason or desire to commit. This was doubly insulting. The guy was a loser anyway aside from his physical gifts. I did not find out till our relationship itself fell apart. Mainly because my gut told me something was off. When she did admit. I demanded a a full apology in person and acknowledged
ment of how many years I lost due to her incredibly hypocritical actions. She was an overt feminist who cried when Trump won and was “monogamous”!she refused to apologize since we were technically on break but dating other people was not the reason given remotely. She actually used the suicide of her ex and the grief as the main reason. She’d had another boyfriend for over a year when he tragically took his life.
I have had three one night stands since her but found myself sadder afterwards. Her reputation remains stellar and she is now married to a wealthy older man (of course)she remains “friends” with her well hung buddy who now has a child from some younger woman. He told me he “didn’t give a shit.” When I wrote him an email asking if he knew my ex had nother man in her life and my father just died. Guys 53 years old I don’t consider that a man. Just a biotic coasting on large member.
I’d trusted a decade older woman who led a respectable life and was smart and seemingly ethical.
I no longer have the stomach to listen to women. I listened to her for years but in action she chose large penis and finally larger wallet and left me alone fighting cancer. Obviously she is one woman not all. Butt the blatant hypergamy and leaving me for the handsome jock has opened my eyes to how commonly woman say one thing and behave the opposite. Lie. Is a simpler s description. I feel sickened by her and many her I’ve encountered (I’m 47 now and don’t date). When I had chemo none of the women who professed undying love to me when we dated managed to visit me either. I’m focusing on my work. We’re I to become wealthy I’m sure I’d have a good number of options again but that’s the problem. I find it disgusting. Funny. In my 20s I was a romantic who was cast as Romeo three times.
I’m not high and mighty or blind to large breasted women the difference is at my age now is prefer to pay for it than endure any more foolish brats. The worst is the “not all women” crowd. My ex was one of those when we met. We’re she single and struggling alone now I’d have respect for her. That society essentially rewards her behavior has led me to drop out. I don’t see a family or children in my future. I’m seeking therapy mainly to deal with my anger but am seeming a male theraoist in a profession dominated by women. Often divorces whose intellectual and philosophical gaps lead me to suspect alimony pays the office rent. I’ve seen this actually before even in divorce lawyers.
How is it "done right"?
The story that you gave as an example is just a method of weeding out people who aren't a good fit together.
It was a win for both of you to find out so early that you weren't compatible.
That isn't a problem it's a gift.
its a massive problem when your entire economic system is built on population growth.
Ya but that's not the point. The point is women who think like this make themselves less desirable to men and increase the value of women who don't think like this. If you read the comments section, you'll see that this is what men got from the video. He's not complaining that it happened, he literally said no skin off his back.
@@bottomturtlepodcast5070 i understand what you are saying. I understand that this makes women less desirable for certain men, but the point is with big value differences, neither one would be interested in the other for anything long term. There are lots of other men and women much better suited for both of them. This is exactly what you want/need to happen. Weed out early!!
@@elsa_nyc I don't disagree. I also think it is a good thing to know you're not compatible with a potential mate early.
@@elsa_nyc His point was precisely that this is a large-scale social issue (utilizing sex as a political tool) and not simply a matter of incompatibility.
NO KIDS ,NO WIFE,NO BILLS ,SINGLE,NO HEADACHES,NO FRIENDS , MY TWELVE SIBLINGS ARE MY FRIENDS ❤
Don't beg don't cry. Fix the relationship or walk away. Don't allow your needs to take over your resilient self.
Seems like female dating strategy is ever evolving until the woman run out of options. To compete successfully women have to look out for themselves.
Been there - at 2:45, and "personal threat to be condemned." Several years ago I was e-mailing a local w0man on a dating site. We discussed maybe meeting up at a pizza place I passed by on my way home from work, that she wanted to check out. In her profile, she stated that she had a dog. Through EMing, I mentioned that I wasn't a fan of dogs. You'd think I asked her to sacrifice a child; she was not happy I didn't *love* dogs. I shared with her that while I am not a fan of dogs - my: parents, sister, and best bud *all* had dogs, and that didn't impact me visiting their houses, etc. No good. She took it as an affront that I wouldn't love *her* dog. I wished her good luck. *And* - in my last e-mail, told her that her dog: 1) won't comfort her if she's in the hospital; 2) won't travel with her and create memories; 3) won't share their SS / pension and support her in her old age; etc.
But I'm sure she'll pat herself on the head for having 'standards' and being 'stronk and indipendink'.
Absolutely true. Although I am sad to see the death of femininity these days, and culturally speaking it's probably doing a lot of harm, the silver lining is that it does thin out the competition, especially for an average looking girl like myself. I know I probably wouldn't have had access to my boyfriend 30 years ago.
No need for the false modesty Cydonie. We all can see you aren't average looking.
"Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside of their reasoned choice"
-Epictetus
Apply this to dating in modernity, and you will have peace and lack despair...even if your bed is less transiently occupied.
jeeezz this whole video was just amazing.... like OMFG!!!!
Thank you so much!!!
I read this book "Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb, basically she did all these studies about how women get themselves out of the mating game by making up all these rules (she was one of them. Had to have a child via artificial insemination because no one would settle down with her). Basically, single and childless women are the biggest growing demographic in America. There's basically two girls out there, those that want perfection, and those that know a catch when they see one. The latter gets married while the former ends up living alone. It was a very interesting read. Also validating, because I thought I was crazy with how picky some of these girls are.
Also, totally agree with the dupes theory. One of the greatest weaknesses a lot of women have is listening to other women with no critical filter. They are very suggestive and can be comforted by warm voices. Out of all the times Ive had to listen to stories about girls getting stabbed in the back by "friends" with a smile on their face or some such nonsense, I'm surprised more women as a whole haven't developed some mechanism to decipher female trickery. Only the shrewdest among them do this. So these girls all promote this "body positivity" and things, being disagreeable with men for no reason -while maybe not invented as a tactic for improving mate selection, it's certainly been co-opted for that.
I think the reason women don't notice manipulation from other women easily is because they believe the other woman doesn't have an agenda. If it's a man, she might think, "Oh he wants to get in my pants", so they notice he has an agenda and move carefully. But if it's another woman they don't realize that she has an agenda, hence they bring down their defenses and blindly trust her
I think you're right. This is thought to be why bonobos have a much more gentle male population than chimpanzees: bonobos live in a small isolated protected area where there is no need for the males to be aggressive, and the females punish aggressive males, while chimpanzees live in larger, more vulnerable areas and can migrate from place to place or from troupe to troupe, and male aggression is often beneficial to the entire troupe and also to the aggressive individuals.
I like that you use your own personal experiences in your videos. Hope she watches...
Trust me, she doesn't care. She still thinks she's right and will go to her grave justifying it. Women have massive ego's.
the key takeaway - don't date a librarian..."hot n steamy" n librarian are rarely, if ever, in the same sentence
Damn... did not see that conclusion coming. That was 🔥
I've said it a million times. Dating is the way it is because it's the only way some women can compete. Hookup culture is the direct result of that.
@Dru2maBoii...I think the hook-up culture is directly related to 2nd and 3rd wave feminism (not first wave) when women misinterpret feminism to mean they can do whatever guys do...such as drink just as much as a big guy and then be surprised if she passes out and finds herself in his bed. Legal issues can get involved. Girls need to be smarter and men do also. Same for first year girls at university going to frat parties. Really not particularly safe situations for girls unless they are very self-aware and can see past player BS
Very common in marriage. Beware.
What do I think? I think anything done with the intention of manipulate someone is disgusting, selfish & not loving. It doesn’t matter what gender they are or what are they using, sex or food or whatever…Now I respect persuasion, but that takes a different approach one with brains, heart and selflessness at it core and one is not obsessed with pushing people to do what they don’t want too, but is respectful, I don’t like manipulative ppl but I love ppl that had persuaded me to become a better person 💞
Dr Taraban is the best psychologist in the world, bar none.
I totally agree with you. I have experienced this phenomenon myself.
Love the Liz Estrada reference/analogy. History/psychology/comedy...Orion has it all 👍
This is such an important and spot-on video Orion! Thank you so much for highlighting this disturbing fact. I have been thinking about this exact topic for such a long time. I hope you will make more videos with topics adjacent to this.
I tried online dating a couple of years ago. I met a woman who said she wasn't going to have sex with men until the laws changed on abortion. My thoughts on this at the time was that she was only hurting herself. She was nice to talk to, but instead of putting any effort into pursuing her, I simply went out with other women.
Sex isn't the only thing in a relationship with a woman, but if I had no sex drive, I would not have been looking for a relationship with a woman.
I have experienced this "litmus test" personality. Very closed minded women who think they are open minded. Infantile.
If your wants and needs such as sex or not being met in a relationship, please leave that relationship. Reciprocal relationships only. Men, do not be cowards, overtly ask or state what you want in a relationship. If she does it want to give you what you want, move on to another woman Who will.
It's not as easy in a marriage with kids.
@@thinking-laafThat's a tough one. Hope that's not something you're dealing with personally. I suppose all you can do is vocalize your concerns and try to work through the issue, but there's no guarantee of success.
@@thinking-laaf I feel that but you only have two options at that point. Stay there in suffer for the sake of the kids or leave the relationship.
What if you’re a Christian and are practicing abstinence until marriage ? I guess maybe this isn’t the channel for that, but I believe it’s still worth discussing.
Not everyone adheres to societal norms. I don’t want to be touched by numerous men.
@TheHamburgler123 I was. I divorced. We were 100% opposite, and this was literally 15y of no sex. She made one decision and that was my breaking point.
This video made me think of a similar strategy in socialist circles. Every living thought leader in socialism is a wealthy brand owner, yet they espouse ideas and ideology contrary to their own actions. Perhaps they are consciously or unconsciously sabotaging their followers to eliminate them as competition in the realm of capitalism.
Yeah for example Hasan Piker here on YT. Biggest grifter in the game together with Al Sharpton.