Listen to YOURSELF: you likely already know the answer
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
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At this stage of my career, I conduct consultations with men from all walks of life from all over the world. One of the most frequent reasons men book my time is to receive an objective, third-party gut check on their relationships: should they continue to invest or cut their losses? After only a few minutes, it often becomes clear that these men already know the answer to their question -- though they may not want to face the consequences it entails. It's important for men to listen to themselves. If your story was coming out a friend's mouth, how would you respond?
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #men
At this stage of my career, I conduct consultations with men from all walks of life from all over the world. One of the most frequent reasons men book my time is to receive an objective, third-party gut check on their relationships: should they continue to invest or cut their losses? After only a few minutes, it often becomes clear that these men already know the answer to their question -- though they may not want to face the consequences it entails. It's important for men to listen to themselves. If your story was coming out a friend's mouth, how would you respond?
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
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Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
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Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
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Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #men
Very good advice and the other comments are also very insightful. Will share this video on other social media platforms.
It's true I'm trapped in a marriage with a woman that is always unhappy no matter what and even tells me. I need to make her happy, or says I don't make her happy and she deserves better. It's not your problem or responsibility.
How do I get ahold of you to hire you? I could use a lot help and advice
@@lycanmagic1664 Dr. Orion shares his contact details above. I wish you great success beginning to resolve your relationship issues with your wife.
So I was just gonna enthusiastically share your video when I noticed its for for men😄 I hope I am ok to like it as a woman too😂
A lot of men think a relationship is trying to make an unhappy women happy. It isn’t your problem
The issue is when she thinks the same thing and then gets mad at you for it.
Thats a worst case scenario. A more common scenario is the woman (happy or otherwise) inserting herself at the centre of the relationship and making the relationship about her. That's the VAST MAJORITY of heterosexual relationships and it's soul destroying for most men.
Women think it's perfectly reasonable. They will stare at you like you've got two heads if you question the dynamic. The truth however is that it's purely extractive behaviour that hollows the man out.
Word up bro word
@@sammyb1651you described my last relationship to a tee. I used to cry with my eyes bawling out because of how miserable and under appreciated I felt. She had BPD I'm sure of it. I was in that relationship for 8 months, the highest of highs, and lowest of lows. It was a complete roller coaster. I'm 7 months removed and I'm still healing. But I'm better off... It was the right decision.
It isn't just your problem, it's not something you can do. You can barely make YOURSELF happy, you cannot however make anyone else happy.
"You didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to understand why you made it" - the Oracle, Matrix reloaded
Experienced divorce lawyer here. I approve of this video. Many guys suffer from cognitive dissonance.
It's hard to see it when you're in it, there are blinders on, especially if sex is involved! Easiest way to get out of it, is if your friends told you the same things, what advice would you give them? That puts a lot of things into perspective...
Cognitive dickonance
There’s no way to unsee the truth once you cross paths upon it.
Do you have a website or professional number I could reach you at?
I usually spot your comments here and there within red pill/divorce content sir, let it be Rich Cooper, James Sexton or this channel himself and is refreshing to have a hands-on professional about these matters and why is important for men to take caution on their own relationships, hopefully you could collaborate with Dr.Oryon here in the future, that'd be a great video for sure!
Solid advice.
I spent 14 years hoping that being a kind and considerate partner would ultimately lead to some kindness and consideration in return… Nope, apparently I was just “hoping to change” her, and loving someone doesn’t require such a demand.
I got played. In hindsight, I had a bad gut feeling the whole time.
I take it you were married at some point?
Can relate that a bit..
Being kind , considerate and loving don't mean at all.
We can hope all we want .
There's a saying " If one feeds a serpent milk, the snake will simply increase his venom "
She was more resentful and cold . More I cared and loved her ..
Protect yourself better in the future
My man, you are literally dropping truth bombs as always. Not a freaking word is redundant!
Absolutely
100% correct. And it's not just personal relationships, it's life: If the answer to whatever question isn't "F*ck yes," it's a no.
Yes and no. One needs to have experience in order to discern if it’s a fuck yes or a no. 🤓
@@raytekkers that's up to you and your judgement, right? Maybe your judgement is messed up, and if that's the case go back to the drawing board. Now listen, and this is my opinion, everyone knows truth when they hear it. Similarly, if you can't enthusiastically say yes to whatever opportunity shows up, the answer is no. We have to take a position and make it stick, right or wrong. That's called learning.
I understand precisely where you’re coming from. I’m referring to something, an experience that one has not tried before. For example, one needs to taste pizza before they can emphatically say fuck yes to it 😁
@@raytekkers HAHAHAHAHA!!! Good one. Enthusiastically yes.
Explains why I haven't said yes in 40 years
If it isn’t a “Fuck YES!!!” - it’s a No. The best advice I ever heard ❤
When in doubt, say no.
This motto has saved me countless times.
This is so extremely true. I was in a situation where a girl started ignoring me randomly, and I let her go. After a month or so (I was still very attached to her then), she started showing interest in me again, but didn't talk, and because I was so attached, I took the plunge and started talking with her again like nothing had happened (I even started acting a little weak cuz I deep down got insecure when she pulled away), even though she should have been the one to fix it.
I even thought that was disrespectful, but cuz I was so dumb and full of emotions, I didn't trust my gut instinct and made it a lot worse. Obviously she left again, lol
As a young guy you will make these mistakes and hopefully learn. Women already haveca black belt when you're just beginning.
happened to me too, buddy 😮😢 it hurts more to not let go
@@edheldudetrue af my dude
This guy gives advice like the dad some of us didn’t have (even if they were present)
Absolutely.
I felt suffocated in a relationship for months and suffered the emotional aftermath with physical health ailments and debilitating chronic anxiety for a year and a half straight. It all only lasted until I had the clarity to listen to myself and move on. This advice works like a charm, not just for relationships but for other areas of life too!
Killer clip Dr Taraban. Right on the money. I’ve experienced it all. Brothers, we have to dictate the terms and conditions of our relationships right off the rip. It’s the only way. As soon as she disregards the terms and conditions, pull the plug. Solitude is far better than a bad relationship.
From my 30+ years of dating experience I can tell that you'll see the first red flag normally in the very few days max weeks of getting to know each other. Take heed and if it's there, run away as fast as you can. It'll save you lots of time and money, my dudes. There's nothing to think over if you have issues like those ones Doc has mentioned.
You're words are so damn true. Date 3 you know what my ex said to me? "I don't have a filter, if anyone annoys me, I just say whatever I want" Why did I dump her 8 months later? Because of her going into angry agressive rages at me..
As a woman i totally agree with that point. Just spot on! It is a priceless advice for both genders. Listen to yourself and no doubt. Of course it is easier said than done , however our brain has all answers already. And finally : dear gentlemen if your ladies behave the way as it was described by the doctor - RUN FOREST RUN for goodness sake
My man, just spot on. A voice that is wonderously heard by those of us men who have been taken for such a rough ride that can barely believe that someone can put it to such clean, clear words and make sense of the hell we stumble through in our minds when we try to make sense of it on our own. Thank you for saying things like this that helps us know that we're not crazy or alone ✊🏼
It is hard to walk away from a longer relationship. It's the "sunk cost fallacy." If I find a lot more energy going out than coming in for a given person, it's a warning flag.
Literally laughed out loud during this one. Thanks for the great logical content
Terrific episode Orion! Really awesome. 9 minutes to remember! I've been doing that for a while, as crazy as it sounds at first, recording myself reflecting out loud about what the relationships were like, and asking myself to "PLEASE listen to me, PLEASE". And it works. You break up, it hurts, but there are others. You break up again, it hurts, but there are many more. There are soooo many women out there. There's really no need to hold on and that feeling is like a muscle, it's getting stronger and stronger!
The underlying thing here is seeking validation. I used to be in that place where I was looking for other men to tell me how to do what I needed to do. After a year or so of journaling and reflecting after a major break up, I realized that I knew myself a little better. Now I know who I am and what to do, and I’m just taking my sweet time.
You just gave better advice than anything I’ve ever heard in over 20 years of premarital and postmarital counseling from clergy and licensed therapists. “If it isn’t a ‘Fuck yes,’ then it’s a ‘no!’” I really could have used this 20 years ago.
“Fuck that”. Definitely. This is the way.
❤ I just love how straightforward you talk here.
10/10 amazing advice.
OMG I wish I had of watched this video back in the courtship days with my ex wife. Great video just like all of your videos. Love your work!
Thank you
Perfect advice
All very cool and sarcastic-u only forget that some men( shocker!) actually have feelings and do want to work things out with the person they love,rather than anyone else. Same the other way around. But, of course,no one expects you to comprehend that.
Brilliant!
What do I think? Orion is the GOAT.
One of your best episodes.
In my line of work (I'm a software engineer) there's a term for what Orion described, it is called rubber-ducking.
It goes like this: You have a problem you've been banging your head against for some time.
Grab a rubber duck (you know - those small yellow ones that float), put it next to your screen and just start telling it what is the problem. That's it - just talk to it and tell it what is the problem. More often then not, this simple action of vocally wording out WHAT is the problem if enough.
You deserve all the success that is coming along with your growing channel. Thank you
The role of a man includes living life in principle. Taking responsibility. Whether or not we meet that bar, no matter how we fail at meeting it, every single man that is not Cluster B is compelled to do so if he is to consider himself "a real man". If not to do so, to try it and if not even that, at least he will torture himself in his mind for failing at it.
That is good, if there is reciprocity and the transaction with femininity makes sense. It increasingly doesn't and I'm not even advocating for some regressive / conservative / shaming Sadia Kahn-type view of life. I am happily normal.
This type of content serves to orient men through the mental process that takes place when the consideration of waiving a responsibility comes to mind. It is meant to be difficult for a man to consciously decide to leave a relationship. To stop providing and being of service for someone else. Regardless of how unsophisticated he is or how little he has to give, the masculine will always struggle with that.
Just ask a guilt infested deadbeat dad in his 60s after leaving the drinks aside. I find that leaving a woman comes with a sense of guilt or shame and just like everything else mentioned here, it is perfectly aligned with the role of a man.
TOP comment. It increasingly DOESN'T make sense. Mostly on account of the rotten post-feminist culture. Ideologically consistent feminism is OVER, folks. It's all Schrodinger's feminism now. Taylor Swift embodies this in her character - who she really is. That's WHY she's so uber famous. Because that's how women want to exist today. Its all rotted out & regressive, actually.
Owen Cook was citing Sam Vaknin in a "Live" he deleted - said that the way women are today, they are almost all functionally Cluster B when infatuated / hooked on a particular new man.
One of the best episodes!!! 😊
Great job
scary how right he is. I really fucked up getting married.
some of the best advice i've heard in a long, long time
Best psychologist EVER !!!
Why journaling is important.
Thank you!! I especially resonate with this topic and this has given me some much needed clarity. Thank you for what you do 🙏
That was priceless … I laughed and laughed, we men are so stupid!
I wish I'd heard all of this 40 yrs ago.
At this point in my life, I think it would be accurate to say that every single "rule for life" I was taught growing up is an outright lie.
That's to say that they were not just incorrect, but that the adults teaching me knew they wouldn't work and did it anyway.
This is great advice...until you have kids with someone. Then it's harder to say bye to her shit when you realize that person has your kids for 18 years without you.
Especially if you fear that her bipolar condition will get worse when your not there and she will take it out on the kids
Thanks, excellent video. I think generally there is a format issue with TH-cam videos, since the topics are fragmented. Something in this video can be taken out of context, such as “cut things off at first sign”, which can lead to misguidance of men. Typically you do a good job explaining the caveats. This video was a more on the black and white side. Anyway, that’s just some feedback. I appreciate you!
Thanks Dr. for another wise advice!
Very good, Dr.... Again! Thank you1
I've been dealing with my EX for 4 decades , men listen up ..
This video is great for women as well. Women should learn how to have a healthy relationship with men just as men should with women. What to accept and what not to. Men can also explode on women and show incredibly bad behavior as well. Women easily rationalize this and think working through it will make the relationship stronger when in fact, you're correct... In the courting phase it shouldn't be happening at all. Both sexes can learn to grow and improve and bring their best to the relationship.
What if you are not enthusiastic about anything? What if any sort of relationship - romantic or otherwise- feels like a duty or a set of boxes to be ticked off? What if you keep a mental distance from every person you come in contact with?
Then it is not really possible to say 'Fuck yes' anytime. How to deal with that?
Orion mainly talks about the dating machinations from a place of having mostly figured oneself out. In many ways, his advice can fall on deaf ears if you're not yet at that stage.
Your question is not that of "dating", perhaps not even of "relationships" at all, and I personally think you shouldn't be looking for an answer within the dating content community.
On the other hand, any advice or knowledge you process will help move you in the direction you want to be going.
To answer: you shouldn't yet be looking for "fuck yes" answers. For now focus on listening to the voice in the back of your head telling you what you do and don't want. Give it increasingly more fuel as you become more comfortable with it by allowing it to make gut decisions for you. First in seemingly insignificant things like "what do I eat today" or "which clothes should I put on". The more you open up to it, the more you will trust it.
There will be hiccups, and you will hurt yourself and other people by acting this way. There's no other road to take though. And one advice I would personally give you is: remember that sometimes you NEED to be dramatic. At times you will feel like you're being petty or childish. Good. That's exactly what you need to externalise and express in order to grow.
Of course I don't know you or your life, but I'm sure you can figure out how to implement this for yourself. Good luck brother.
Maybe you're Aromantic? Or Asexual? Or depressed? Or just a loner? I hate to be That Guy, but what you're describing sounds like a prime candidate situation to sort through and figure out with a therapist.
1. What advice would you give to a friend that asked you these questions? Write it down and then do it yourself..
2. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Put yourself in stressful and difficult situations on purpose and work your way out of them. That will grow your confidence and self-worth.
3. Be kind but don't sacrifice self-respect. Most people are decent and if you show friendliness and warmth it will be reciprocated.
4. The Buddha was wrong. Avoiding attachment leads to nihilism (read your post..). Go into everything head and heart first, the secret is to be able to detach quickly and embrace suffering. This is the underlying message of all of the Doc's posts.
Good luck to you sir, enjoy your journey.
@@protect-free-speech Buddhism being nihilistic is a common misconception. In fact Buddhism goes very in depth into why nihilism is not helpful and a dead end. Very deep and nuanced subject.
Thanks for this Dr. O’Rien. I am about to take the major step into moving in with my girlfriend of 4 and a half years. She’s been an exceptional partner so far, and I genuinely love to spend time with her, but the only major red flag is her current income. I make 6 figures right now but she only makes about 40k a year. I think it’s fair to move in with her, but also have a check in and tell her if we are gonna make this work, she needs to step it up (she has been trying to job hop for a salary increase too).
Wow your supposed to be the man in the relationship. Mens biological role is to be a provider and protector.. why are you excepting her to make more money
@@Vision-dd8fl you wanna help me with the rent that’s average 3k in my area (NY/NJ)? Not even a 6 figure income all alone can handle that
@@ajseb fair point actually
god ... true & yet funny!
Great Ending Dr. When In doubt ask yourself. WWPOND? (What would Patrice O'Neal do? )
Yes and yes.
One of the few times Orion is almost shouting in the microphone. It can be very frustrating trying to hammer that truth in to simps.
Thanks!
Wise man!
I sense the frustration
Let’s go doc!
Facts 🎉
Köszönjük!
Teraband has a gift. I laughed out loud a few times.
Many men stay because of the Sunk Cost Fallacy
Sunk cost concept ftw 🎉
Listen to your gut. 9 times out of 10 I've know what to do, and all everyone else did was try to talk me out of it.
Top Shelf!
Ya'll should really try to reach out to the community around you more often. There's people where I live who probably don't even know what a therapist is. They can't afford one anyway.
well, given the examples you gave orion, that's not the place where I am. I feel and am neglected sure. but she's a good person. and those are literally horror stories (except for the dead bedroom)
umm can you expand on the mutual understanding bit....
Ya Bob on kid,,,
BPD is the most curable disorder with CBT
I ain't letting no one T my CB to cure their BPD
Rich Cooper, "Stop complicating your lives!"
Watched it and can see the distance between u and me. That this is the way u should keep it. Calm like stone eager like a flower growing slowly and yeah. Just like everyone i guess because even this comment means nothing but to myself. Me.
Damn.... that whole record yourself method was heavy.
This is some of your best advice ever.🤣😭🤣 I've recorded myself talking about my last relationship, and it was over 3 months later. All I heard was stress and emasculation trying to make sense of her chaos. This video is the definition of a therapist's level of tough love.
Remember when nagging, inlaws, and spending too much at the store were the main issues men talked about. 😅😂
This is the masculine version of journaling. You will do it when you need it, verbalizing the issue is itself cathartic, which provides short-term relief, and the ability to listen to yourself from the past, picking up the inflections of your voice, with good hindsight is really a good replacement for a conversation with a friend for those things you won't discuss with anyone else.
This world is sad. Men are so blind. And yes professionals who sound good and are confident can be extremely misguided. Like our friend Orion here. He pumps out a mixed bag and people eat it like little kids eating whatever papa puts on the table today. Grow up and see how we'll he actually raised you. To put ones mind and life in the hands of another is no small thing. The Catholic Church is 2000 years old and has immense wisdom on how to live your best life as your best self. It isn't the latest psychobabble fad from another bobble head. It's tride and true. It's real and attested to by billions over the centuries. The largest charitable organization in the world and a place where heroic saints are born.
Thanks!
I totally agree. I'm 57 and can confirm, things don't get better in a relationship, especially after marriage. They will only get worse. Also, anything other than a definitive yes is a no.
"Like Fuck That" that's right there is the best line.
It's the second 'fuck that' that sold me.
@@tonybernard4444 haha yes the commitment to Fuck That is commendable! 😂
🤣🤣🤣
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
And you can't trust yourself if you keep betraying yourself.
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
- Marcus Aurelius
Aurelius was a literal cuck.
What is a good man? 🤔
What is a healthy man? 🤔
What is a wise man? 🤔
What is a man? WAIT IM SORRY DONT FIRE ME!!!
Oh no you didnt@@kelvincasing5265
Irrelevant af to the video
This was my consult exactly. Dr. Taraban was spot on.
#1 this consult most likely saved my life.
#2 Saying this stuff out loud was terrifying.
Worth every penny. Money well spent.
Thanks for everything doc.
every man regardless of age should be subbed to this channel
Wow. That recording idea is brilliant. The therapist I hired repeated back to me what I had said then said, “why the f are you married to this woman?”
I couldn’t come up with anything.
Everyone has such great wisdom and insight for others, but everyone fails to take their own damn advice. Isn't that humanity in a nut shell. Love this channel
Its called Solomon's Paradox @pazzodi3
So true!
I once advised a guy "You know that small voice whispering in the back of your mind? LISTEN TO IT".
*whimpering
Thanks I'll pass.
It's tells me to "Jump off" whenever I'm near a railing.
Take care brother@@Tushar_Talwar_09
It's mainly because most guys have a scarcity mindset, so we start to convince ourselves to accept bullshit because we may never find another person again. Which of course is all horse shit.
Yep, that's me for sure. You just identified my problem. I must change my mindset.
This is a core problem with a lot of guy's mindsets. I was there before. I fought tooth and nail to keep my first relationship, which was horribly toxic and she lived in a different country. The stress and disrespect I allowed myself to go through is horrible to look back on. After that relationship, I had an actual good one and it TRULY opened my eyes to how a relationship should be. Now, I have proven to myself that I can be in a good relationship and be a good partner, so I'm not going to cling to just any girl that will have me. I know I am worthy of a good relationship and am secure as myself.
It is difficult the first time to walk away, but years later you know you can survive and if you have a similar relationship in the future, you know you can do it. Walking away is a good skill to know that you can do.
"Picking fights with people in public and expecting me to come to her defense" 😵💫 that was me not too long ago..
aww man I had this happen to me and I grabbed her by the arm and told her "wtf are you playing at ? we ain't got time for this shit ..." and pulled her away ASAP like a parent dragging his kid around. It felt so wierd I realised how messed up she was. She wasn't happy and tried to give me shit for it but damn was I right to do so ... we separated a while later, she was too much trouble, not worth it ...
Patriece oneal wome are reactionary
RPA save you from that kind of problem.
She would get pissed @ me because i would try to descelate, but she always wanted me as irrational and irrate as her..
I think there is a difference between "get caught in conflict" and "starting conflict". If I am caught in conflict, I 100% expect my partner to come to my defense.
I am a man who has decades of experience with women. I am no expert & still learning, but I can say that Orion is spot on. However, he’s also right that only YOU can make the decision. It’s not one size fits all. The biggest mistake men make is allowing the fear of being alone or sex to stay in bad relationships. Your in for a terrible life if you do that
Nailed itt. Don't be weak or needy. They can see it and then they will crush you. Be strong. Women need a firm hand.
It’s been one year since my wife separated from me. 8 months since she served me with divorce papers. As Valentine’s Day approaches and a year of loneliness I contemplate reaching out to my ex wife. The depression and loneliness has obscured the memories of loss and betrayal. Listening to this self assessment was a breath of fresh air!
Thank you
Gentlemen, our good sir also indirectly mentions, keep self respect, dignity and worth paramount for us men. If excitement and comfort lasts only 2-3 months and then drama and control issues arise, communicate, not working, WALK AWAY. We men all go through that feeling of pain/fear/confusion. At that time, face it, take it. Hurts like hell at times for weeks etc. after that you’ll see something happens within mostly. Slow character development and self growth.
Impossible to get clearer than this.
Agree 110%
Regards from Brazil 🇧🇷
Man you are a really smart honest coach. I’ve looked all over the web for an answer and couldn’t find it. I’m 50 and I have learned so many things through hardship. Gentleman trust this guy.
We're all gonna make it brahs
You are not going to make it if you lose your money, house and kids on divorce. Trust me. You are only going to make it back to your parents home empty handed.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 NGMI bro.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540chill 😂.. We'll make it man
We're men over here. You sound DELUSIONAL. We don't need to *FEEL GOOD* emotionally, so I'm going to tell a truth that you wont: *Not All Of Us Are Gonna Make It.* Hell, most of us won't make it, simply because most men lack sexual discipline. Our need for sex is the primary reason we put up with so much nonsense from women. And *THAT* is the reason most of us won't make it. *Most men will STILL lead lives of quiet desperation.*
Most of us aren't gonna make and have a legacy. These ladies are out here destroying the foundations of Western culture.
You a real one Taraban
Someone give Dr Taraban a Nobel Prize. What more does he need to do?
@marriagecausesdivorce7540 more specifically... the Nobel Peace Prize 😂 and, like Bob Marley, said: "No woman, no cry"
@@mann8098that's not what Marley meant. He was singing to console a woman not to cry, as in " Hey little sister, don't shed no tear...."
@manflynil9751 well that's embarrassing 😳 😂🫣 thank you
@@mann8098 but your interpretation applies.
I retired Navy Admiral once told me "son always listen to your gut". This was after multiple combat tours.
Dont ignore your intuition. Your inner voice is your inner child trying to protect itself from experiencing more trauma. Think of that little boy, and woukd you put him through these things.....again ?
These worlds hit my soul bro
Hands down one of your best videos. Fantastic work. ✨
I have it on my calendar to have my son start listening to, reflecting on Orion's advice (yt clips) as soon as he turns 17.
@@petelipson3769 totally agreed. Funny, I made the same mental note for my boy
How uncanny. I made the same promise to myself regarding my boy…
My mother said several times how some people think marriage is a magic wand that is going to fix problems in a relationship but it's just the opposite.
True. If things are not absolutely fantastic in the initial dating stage, walk. As he mentions, that is as fun and easy as it is going to get. It is going to get more stressful and difficult as you go along. Also consider that during that stage the woman is trying to sell you on a long term relationship, marriage. If she can't even fake being cordial and enjoyable during the sales pitch period, that signals some emotional and psychological problems.
The girl I dated, within 8 months went off the handle with me 3x, even swore at me once, kept causing some drama and playing games. It was stressful as hell for months. I walked away
Had I listened to myself and cut things off at the first sign of poor behavior, I wouldn’t have experienced the worst pain I ever have in my life last year. I don’t say this out of bitterness but my relationship that ended last year is hands down the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I was better off cutting her off after 2 months like I originally wanted. Instead, we dated for 2 years and 3 months, 1 year and 10 months as an official couple. I thought I wouldn’t have been able to find anyway else. Not finding anyone else would have actually been better than dating the woman I dated.
Details, please.
@@thickseed honestly, I don’t want to go into details here. The only thing I’ll say is that there were signs of her lack of regard and respect for other people and their boundaries. She was always so full of herself and I let a scarcity mindset lead me into a relationship with her.
Always leave early man.. Always. I was dating a very hot attractive woman, super hot.. but her behaviour was terrible.. after 8 months I walked away. It's painful, but never as painful as 3 years down the line when she cheats on you or dumps you with a child in tow.
@@Vision-dd8fl trust me, I learned my lesson. I never want to experience what I experienced with her ever again.