How women DISRESPECT men without realizing it: bursting the bubble
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
- Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
This is the second installment of my two-part series on unintentional disrespect. The intention is to help prevent women from sabotaging the relationships they want with the men they want to have them with. In this episode, I identify two other ways in which women place themselves above men with their words and behavior, thereby enacting an assumed superiority. I also suggest that men are more sensitive to cues of disrespect given their relative preference for hierarchical arrangements and their lack of social protections.
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanps...
Social Media
Facebook: p...
LinkedIn: / orion-taraban-070b45168
Instagram: / psyc.hacks
Twitter: / oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanps...
Orion's Theme: • Enrico Deiana - Orion'...
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tap....
GRE Bites: / @grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
/ @psychacks
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #women #relationship
![[🔴LIVE] งานประกาศรางวัล MAYA TV AWARDS 2024 : มายามหาชน](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nwmWYXXVwBY/mqdefault.jpg)
This is the second installment of my two-part series on unintentional disrespect. The intention is to help prevent women from sabotaging the relationships they want with the men they want to have them with. In this episode, I identify two other ways in which women place themselves above men with their words and behavior, thereby enacting an assumed superiority. I also suggest that men are more sensitive to cues of disrespect given their relative preference for hierarchical arrangements and their lack of social protections.
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #women #relationship
They do the action of disrespecting you because they don't feel respect for you. It doesn't start with them doing the actions of disrespect, it starts with them feeling disrespect towards you.
Of course Couple's therapy almost never works . That Therapy in general. Its based on movie logic. Just watch Cinima therapy.
What about not acknowledging the effort that you've put into working your ass of or effort in trying to win her over in the courtship phase. Playing mind games cones off as disrespect since its an attempt to manipulate you and make you look less valuable, look like the adorer.
I've never seen psychology broken down in such a cogent way. I wonder if you would be interested or willing to do a series on issues gay men face when dating? Many of your videos are applicable, but the nature of two men may cause some unexpected interactions between them. Nobody talks about this, and a lot of gay relationships are messed up, or slip into a hetero style dynamic.
How about your woman abruptly talking over you about a different subject while in company. That must be common.
Gentlemen, if a woman ever makes a disrespectful or sarcastic remark about you, *especially* in the presence of others, call it out *immediately*, and do not back down when she pulls the classic "It was just a jooooooke". She likely knew what she was doing, and is trying to use plausible deniability to make you look like a hot head or insecure rather than taking accountability for the disrespect. Get your apology, or get out.
Maybe. Most of us will not get it immediately, we just feel 'off'. It is totally OK to confront it later, both when we have calmed and have written down exactly what we want to say. Understand that if she fails/ denies/ butbutbuts/ or attempts to joke it, then, well, we have our 'post but clarity' and 3 count (do her 3 more times, selfishly) her out.
mark
Just leave her.
...and for the love of God, don't create a platform/incentivize for her to do it. Meaning, don't do the classic, "My wife figures it out, but I seem to be slow in those areas". Don't insult yourself in attempts to bolster your girl. She loses respect for you when you do that, and it allows her to implicitly/explicitly do it too.
My only dilemma is.... Can they change these habits? Is this video going to open eyes for women, and they change these behaviors? Or is this more for the men out there to realize that they are being mistreated?
I suspect the latter is true. Mostly because I doubt grown people can change their character, and also because women who think they hit the lottery with a guy, DON'T behave like that in the first place. They only behave like that with men who they feel are beneath them.
This is so spot on. I, as a woman, am seeing these patterns and tendencies within myself and there's only so much I can blame on wanting to protect myself or childhood trauma. The choice is mine now. I see it affecting my relationship and I have no one to blame but me. Thank you for this wake up call and helping me in choosing another path.
Glad you live in reality
@@vv-cv6ud It's clearly an ad for her podcast, man. Don't confuse authenticity with a desire for publicity. She's got a perverse incentive.
It's natural behavior, which people can be trained out of. The idea that woman should be allowed to behave like children their entire lives is what is to blame.
Need to learn how to be at peace with not having control
I read a bio on Albert Einstein. His wife called him an idiot because he couldn't "dress himself." Because he had a closet full of the same grey suit. That's because he had huge things to think about (like a unified field theory for the universe). He really could not be bothered matching his ties. My point being: men can't win. We can only mitigate.
Was at a family reunion. There was a young woman with a hoodie that read “I love it when men shut the fuck up.” I didn’t like it. My wife made a big deal about my not liking it. It’s amazing how her contempt for me made it impossible for her to see my dislike and side with me. Her feeling that women have been oppressed made her side with open contempt. Her response: “Why are you letting that stupid shit bother you?” To me, it was clear that she was at some level in agreement with the sentiment. It became a major issue and I have begun drawing lines, neither to give nor accept disrespect.
Good man. Stay strong.
She is kindof right. Shouldnt let stupid shit bother you, ever. When stuff doesn't bother you, then you are untouchable! See...
It is amazing how many women will support other women so obviously in the wrong aka sisterhood e.g. husband has an affair, women say what an a'hole. Wife has an affair, women overlook the infidelity and attach blame to the husband. When a wife constantly disagrees with a husband aka oppositionality, it is a major read flag concerning total lack of respect and childishly weakening/ruining the relationship.
And yet, you’re still with her.
Your wife does have a point about you being bothered by "stupid shit". It shouldn't be bothering you but at the same time she should also be more supportive about it bothering you because she can obviously see that it is. She should at least be in agreement with you that the message on that hoodie is inappropriate, thereby showing solidarity with her husband.
This is golden. I am a man in a long term marriage with a woman. I realized with your first video that I had allowed some of this type of behavior to be normalized. So I did an experiment to see if I could return some ground in terms of boundaries. I am sharing because I think it might be interesting to men and women to hear: so my wife often interrogates me about what I am doing and how much money I spend on things. I am ok with us keeping each other accountable for financial responsibility reasons but it is done so much like a mother to a baby the way she demands I explain myself and keeps me on defense like a managed child. I realized I often have little white lies and secrets solely for the reason of avoiding this demeaning behavior. So for example I would lie about where I was, not because I am cheating but because she will interrogate me if it’s something I like to do and I feel guilty if it’s not something for the kids or her! As I thought about this I realized suddenly how crazy it is and I hated this very badly and this disrespect was one of the main things that was causing antagonism and a huge amount of pent up resentment in me that often comes out with me getting angry or doing something disrespectful back to her(just not as often nor as successful). So she asked me where I was and instead of lieing or telling the truth I said “I don’t feel like answering that right now” she flipped out and I always so shocked how much this triggered her. She started on the interrogating of Inwas cheating or did something wrong why can’t I tell her. And I held firm with zero emotion and said “if your not going to ask me in a respectful tone then we are not having a conversation” she almost got physical she was so pissed. It was then I realized how damn accustomed both of us are to this toxic power imbalance… it seemed like the end of our relationship for half a day… but I felt firm and when she was calm I walked up to her unprompted and I said “I love you” and kissed her really passionately then said “all I want is for both of us to be respectful to each other. If I was cheating on you I would make up a stupid lie, I am only saying that I wish for you to trust me and stop acting like the police. If you can’t do this I won’t cheat … I’ll just walk away and then it won’t be cheating because I’ll be single” now I said this in a very clear confident voice but also accompanied it with another kiss that spoke non verbally how much I hope she would choose to stay. The following week has been the best our marriage has been in a long long time. It’s too short to say that this is resolved but I thought if sometime is trying to establish boundaries know that it might get rocky before it gets better.
Good for you. I hope everything works out.
It amazes me the power of advocating for yourself and what holding firm in your beliefs can do for one’s relationship. Right on mate! You reestablished your role and authority, you didn’t concede to her capriciousness, and reaffirmed your devotion in a much better position than you were before. Sincerest regards to you and your wife sir!
Thanks for sharing this. I find the small victories of getting a little more back on track are what make a normal life a great one to live.
So, you somewhat rewarded her bad behavior. I just don’t tolerate that kind of sh!t from the start, ESPECIALLY from my wife. She’s be history.
I don’t know if you have been married long or your wife is Asian… but it slowly builds and I was not aware of it at first. Just avoided conflict and suddenly found myself in this
Man has boundaries and preferences, woman says he is insecure. Manipulation 101.
Those women are telling on themselves
So what men always say we cant take a joke. 😂
I remember when Sadia Khan literally said this about Jonah Hill
Man has boundaries and preferences, woman says he is controlling her.
I put up with plenty of disrespect in our marriage. Oddly, when I started calling out her s**t is when the marriage came to an end.
It's because you tackled it too late. You have to nip it in the bud immediately. And if it happens more than once or twice, you have to walk away. You can never keep a woman unless you have the ability to Walk Away.
Same here, I unknowingly at the time started standing up to disrespect, and put an end to any sort of disrespect I conveyed, but like you said it was to little to late as I had allowed her to avalanche in the terms of disrespect.
@@kalbsleber narcissistic mother, enabler father
Good for you.... would you rather have remained a SIMP husband and put up with the disrespect??? Is trashing your manhood and self-respect worth occupying a lower position in a toxic marriage???
I'm with you. Too little too late on my end. She had cheated on me and that FINALLY caused me to stand up for myself. I believe the marriage was over when she did that but I began calling out ALL of her disrespect and then the marriage finally came to an end. You wake up real fast when going through such a trauma. Amazing how setting boundaries and sticking up for yourself with due respect is said to be controlling and insecure. Amazing that my now ex had no humility and felt justified in her cheating. Silly rabbit.
My Ex told me to Shut The Fvck up, over a little disagreement. I immediately checked her, she didn't even apologise, didn't even aknowledge she did anything wrong. I walked away from her house the following morning, as I felt disrespected. She sent me a text message and ENDED the relationship. Got disrespected & dumped on top of that. Two days later she starts blowing up my phone, trying to get back together with me. She gave me an apology with the promise that she would behave better in the future. I stupidly gave her another chance.. Only 4 weeks later she went into an agressive rage in a disrespectful way, because I laid down a boundary about using social media at the dinner table. I told her to leave my house, and never spoke to her again.
You did the right thing
All's well that ends well! 😅
She didn’t respect you from the jump. Women don’t disrespect men they respect
@@davnoble8472 True. No lies.. However lots of background to this. She was on anti depressents prior to meeting me, had been in a toxic relationship prior to meeting me, more than likely alpha widowed.. Also had anger issues, not only with me, but other people around her. I think I got involved with someone emptionaly damaged.
@@davnoble8472 True and false.. Narcassisct and entitled woman don't respect nothing.
All people deserve respect and no one should tolerate disrespect
The problem is most women do believe they are above men in relationships, which is why they disrespect men.😂
While I don't doubt your first clause, I'm virtually certain they're disposed to disrespect men of any stripe with the goal of getting their own way.
I'm not saying she wouldn't resist the urge for longer with someone she thought was "superior", or that it would manifest in the same way, but I don't think being "higher" than her is a panacea. I think men tell themselves that as cope.
Women care about themselves FAR MORE than they care about their partner and that-at its heart-is the single most significant factor in determining her behaviour.
Some women do believe this but the still respect the man appropriately.
@@cinnababe53 I'd argue very few and even fewer still for any appreciable length of time (which is the only thing that really counts). By that I'm talking 20 years plus. The divorce stats are clear on this. It's conclusively damning of just how awful women's behaviours are and very good evidence that they don't deserve to be offered marriage in the first place.
Thankfully the internet has exposed this for the first time ever and the knowledge is beginning to get pretty widespread in the mainstream amongst men.
@@cinnababe53 Then there should be no problem if men do the same.
@@arvindkrishna7035 I agree
Some version of “Hope you can handle my sarcasm” is EXTREMELY common on women’s dating profiles.
Them ladies should be on their profiles like: I am an apparent victim, 0 self respect, so I prefer disrespecting people almost every time, please bear with me, I can handle myself 🫡🤡🤡🤡🤑
Get off the apps. Once you realize it's all the trash that nobody else wants it's an easy decision.
That is just pure grooming for verbal abuse.
Just because I can doesn't mean I want to.
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" 🚩🚩🚩
This behavior is extremely common among WESTERN women.
It's universal
It's basically how society treats men today. Fe. in the media, from advertisement to the entertainment industry.
Yeah, Western China, Western Russia, Western Japan, Western Ukraine, Western Zimbabwe, Western Poland, Western Phillipines, Western............
Whining won't solve anything
@@alexisreyna2423 This is the problem with both genders. Whining on the internet and changing nothing in their personal lives.
The sarcasm point was spot on.
I think that a lot of the social dysfunction we see is a direct result of people wanting to have different rules for others than for themselves. The more pervasive it is, the harder it is to learn good social behavior
The golden and silver rules are the genesis of all morality and social cohesion. Yet we've turned them from something being paramount to functioning properly into "It's good if you follow it, but you don't have to sweety. It's okay."
@@TheSpecialJ11 Absolutely
The emotion through which disrespect can manifest itself is contempt. Contempt ranges from mild disregard to complete disgust and includes the silent treatment. It’s emotional aggression, rejection. The contempted is perceived as having a lower social status and is failing to meet some standard, behavior or skill that the person who is feeling contempt deems as important. Examples are ignoring, making fun of you especially in public, the silent treatment etc. If a woman is disrespectful, ask yourself what standard she deems as important do you think you failed to follow.
Ive seen men do this to my husband!
@@deirdremorris9234 Because emotions are universal to human beings and men feel and use them too. Contempt is used when we want to remove an individual from a group for consistently falling to meet a standard important to us or the group, but either don’t want to confront the individual directly or want them to remove themselves. So we reject them by showing disrespect , being cold, hoping they will get it an leave or correct themselves.
".. failing to meet some standard, behavior or skill that the person who is feeling contempt deems as important. "
I have experienced this contempt/disrespect in a work environment. Because I wouldn't meet his LOW standard of how people should behave.
I completely understand the “Infantilizing Surveillance” bit you touched on. My mother used to be like this when I was growing up, I had to sit her down and tell her that she doesn’t get to tell me anything and if she continued she’d just lose all contact with me all together.
She thought I was joking, I ended up cutting her off for 3 years. We reconnected, and she ended up fixing her behavior. I like peace and quiet, no woman in my life gets to disrupt my peace. Either they fall in line, or bounce.💯
Going through the same now. It's been almost 2 years. Mental health is so much better and on the verge of marraige. I didnt want that type of energy around my gf and didnt want her to pick up on my mothers toxic habits
@@xcb222Bravo 100% except for the marriage.
No marriage or cohabitation ever.
You actually come across as a selfish guy here. When you are a minor, your mother had authority (and responsibility) for you. You did owe her explanations. You seem proud of the fact you didn’t speak for 3 years, that’s not healthy on either end.
@@Amlux1984 I can only assume and I dont know for sure obviously, but you probably had a great relationship with your mother growing up. Which is great. I'm sure this is why you gave such a reaction to a story you barely know. Those few sentances he wrote dont tell the whole story, if leaving helps him escape something he finds harmful than being selfish was the right move. Kudos to him.
@@pigwank8234 sorry i was too quick to judge
Have a good day
as a man, do what you want to do regardless. if she doesn’t respect what you want and by definition your boundaries, be wary.
I remember a cute girl once told me she was stopped in a traffic control by the police, she then made a joke against the cop and he supposedly laughed it up and she proceeded on her way.
I don't remember what the joke was, but I remember that it was somewhat of an insult, something I wouldn't dare to say to a cop.
That was one of those times when I woke up to the power of women, simply for being women and looking pretty, they can get away with things a guy can't.
Especially if you have a good bosom
The sarcasm and joking, especially publicly are two of the main reasons I will be divorcing my wife soon. I just tune it out now and am working on my exit plan.
My wife used to disrespect me often whenever we got into a disagreement. I threatened to leave. We went to a lot of emotion-based marriage therapy. Even today I will sometimes have to wait until she's calm to explain why her behavior was disrespectful. She has gotten better at controlling herself in conflict, we are friends again and in a stable marriage.
What was surprising to me is that she slowly had to "wake up" to the fact that disrespect is unacceptable in a relationship at all times. The only conclusion that I can draw is that women have gotten the message from society that it is acceptable for them to be disrespectful if they are emotionally distressed. I can only guess that its a result of entitlement that's been nurtured while they were young and great-looking, while people were focused on capturing their attention rather than setting realistic boundaries and expectations.
As some women grow older, it takes time for them to adapt to a world that no longer accepts their childishness in this area. Men had to grow out of this area immediately when we were young, or else the world gave us crushing consequences. No one steps aside, the world makes young men pay for mistakes.
knightfreedom...congrats for you both learning respect. Good for the two of you. Enjoy each other!
Women: "I should be able to question my man If he has a problem with it he is insecure"
Men: "I should be able to question my woman"
Women: "No! That is toxic and controlling!"
Exactly 😂
Accountability? What's that?
🤡 🌎
Nothing new or novel about hypocritical inconsistencies in the mind of the modern western woman
"..... and another example of the tyranny of the patriarchy!"
My ex-wife disrespected me a lot. Even worse was that I allowed it for far too long. I think the point where our marriage started to come to an end was the point in which I stopped allowing the disrespect to happen... primarily because it resulted in a narcissist losing control over me.
I play music as a hobby. Its my way to relieve stress. It brings me joy. It is an extension of who I am as an individual.
For a long time, as soon as I came home from work, she would say "No music today, (insert excuse as to why here)"... so I relegated myself to only playing music when she was out of the house... then came the chores list and a threat it hell to pay if it wasn't done by the time she got home... this list was long and would take me all day. As you can see where this is headed, it left me no time to enjoy my hobby and my passion... i got resentful. I would argue with her about it. I would give her back the same disrespect she was showing me.
Eventually, when handed the chores list on my day off as she was about to go off to work; I would crumple up the list right in front of her and toss it in the trash. I did a few things off it at my liesure, but only after I satisfied my need to play music.
With regard to the banning me from playing music when she was home, I reached a point where not only did I ignore her demand that I not go to my music room to play music every evening after work; but if I was playing my electric guitars, I played so loud I could not hear her shouting from the bottom of thr stairs to turn it down.
Arguments about this would be met with "I was a musician when you married me, and you knew what you were getting into. If that was a problem, you shouldn't have said yes"
My current wife understands that this is not just something I do for fun, but something I need in my life. She might ask me not to play music at certain times, but she at least allows me the opportunity. I think she knows by the stories I told about my ex, that if she wants our marriage to be a happy one, she needs to allow me some time to spend on my hobbies to decompress.
Women do this at work all the time which is why they get such negative results and pushback. I had 300 freelance writers (mostly single moms) and they refused ot put titles on their pieces telling me it was my job to read everyone and add title. We fired them all.
As a women, after hearing this podcast I see I’m guilty of some of these things and didn’t realize it. I will be working on being aware and turning it around, I want an equal relationship with my partner. Thank you for the insight. I just found this site and have listened to several podcast and I have to admit it has been spot on. Too many of us have an image of ourselves that is distorted because of our conditioning and are afraid of our own truths.
Honesty is always the best way forward to a successful life. Thank you for sharing
I’ve had this conversation with my gf & she kept up the negative behavior to the point she’s now my ex & have seen me with other women on dates. The relief of letting go was immediate…💯
American Women: "Who is this guy to criticize us? 😂 I can do whatever I want I dont have to listen to any man"
*5 years and 5 cats later
"Where have all the good men gone?"
😂😂😂
British women: "man, American men have 0 sense of humor. Is that why they have no luck with the ladies over there? 😮"
Cats are better than some men. No, not all men, but some.
@@cindyforish8081Okay sure but exceptions don't make the rule. I'd much rather be a woman in a healthy relationship then alone with cats because I have no other choice.
@Strafeyy not all women that are single with cats lacked choice.
1. If a woman truly lacks choices, it's because she's either unattractive or unappealing. The first she can do little to change, except maybe not... maybe she has the ability to up her perceived attractiveness more than many think (I'll go further into that in just a bit). If she's unappealing...unfriendly, rude, always mad etc, she can definitely work on that and she should. She should seek to become a better person for her sake and all others around her.
2. Some women are appealing and attractive to some men. Very few are to all men, but there are varying degrees of attraction. Of those women, whether they have very few options or an incredible amount of options, some choose to stay single for very similar reasons some good and attractive men stay single. They want peace.
Okay, back to the attractive subject. I'm average at best and below average in some people's opinion. That's not a problem (it used to be, but it's a non issue now). I opted out of dating for over 20 years because of low self esteem. I worked on my self esteem and gained some confidence. Not much changed about my raw looks. I did lose some weight, but have gained most of that back. However, I have attracted some men. I've dated. I've been surprised at some of the men that have approached me. Yes, I'm aware some only wanted sex and weren't really into me as a person, but some were interested in me for more than just what they thought they could get sexually.
I'm 54, so my dating pool isn't huge. But I do have options.
I even dated a red pill man for about a month and a half. He was 10 years younger than me and was very interested in my mind and also sexually attracted to me. I knew him a couple of years before we dated. His deep dive into red pill is what broke us up though. But he was seriously attracted to me. I broke it off.
I don't date lightly. I will not date someone who disturbs my peace. So, yes, of the women that are single, many are single by choice.
@cindyforish8081 Thank you for putting the effort in but I really don't have time to read all that and give a matching articulate response. All the best.
I sent this to the girl im dating and she went ballistic. You can not imagine the torrent of emails complaining that im watching something that is so basic and doesnt appreciate that women are conplex beings!!! Omg! She's dumped now. She could not "hear" anything...ego unchecked....
Idk as a man I find good-hearted teasing okay. It depends on what’s being teased about. Us men banter with each other constantly. As long as it’s a friendly tease and not a bitter slight, it’s okay.
You also have build rapport. Which takes time. Plus you know how it's being said. With hecklers...its always insidious. They say things to cut you. That's what their brain is designed to do.
A wonderful attempt to educate women on how to manage a relationship with a man. What I found is that women don't know how to communicate. So this was a great 2-parter, but my assessment is it will fall on deaf ears.
At the very least he's showing men how things should be, anything less and we move on. That's the only way things change - stop rewarding these behaviours.
Definitely will fall on deaf ears, but so will be their bitching and moaning as I let it into one ear and out the other and proceed to do whatever the fk I want.
As a man, I watched these two vids out of curiosity, and I must say all five points are true. Not all men will pay attention to these things, but these men who have self-respect will.
I appreciate the point about teasing especially, Doc. Thank you. I had a feeling something was wrong with teasing (as in disrespectful), and this let me understand what.
Orion, thank you 🙏 Please continue this series addressed to women and how we inadvertently disrespect men! You are helping me in my marriage a ton.
Your can get a lot more from good pastors. Look up Voddie Baucham and Doug Wilson for their marriage content
Congratulations for listening. While I was watching this video I was imagining the insane reaction that I believe so many modern so-called "feminists" would have while watching; if they would even watch to begin with.
If more women in western countries were willing to reconsider things the way you are doing, men would not be inclined to go to Asia to find women who know how to behave like women.
@@Lawskipper I agree 100%! As not just a married woman but also the mother of a little boy, my heart aches for the state of attack on men today. I am doing everything I can to make sure my son and husband feel empowered to provide and protect the way they are meant to.
It has not been easy because I do admit that while I do NOT want to emasculate the men in my life, I didn’t realize until I hit my 20s that I have been completely brainwashed into doing so. I wish more people understood this. Even the women who desire happy and stable relationships with men, and not to compete with them, have been force fed a lie their whole lives. We have no idea that there’s a better way until much later when we see the true consequences of following the mainstream narrative.
Thanks for understanding and supporting us in learning how to better treat you all.
@Lawskipper. Some of us get it.
Great insight at the end. I too have noticed that men tend not to disrespectfully question or cause drama and chaos. They seem to have a more avoidant attachment style. While women do tend to disrespectfully question and cause drama and chaos. They seem to have a more anxious attachment style.
I agree.
I've had the 'luck' to be in a short relationship with an avoidant woman. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Can't really generalise on this. Some men love drama and chaos. They do it differently than women maybe as in less confrontational or less obvious about it, but the intention is the same - manipulation & upset people.
Thanks for those episodes, I'm so stupid. At home my mom was always disrespectful for my father and I said that I will be different... And at the end I am the same. I met recently very good and high value guy and realised, I might just lose him, because of my behaviour... It is so hard for me to change
Even the longest path starts with a first step:
Tell him exactly what you wrote here, show him this video, apologise, show him your remorse and beg him to be patient with you and to let you know immediately if you should ever misbehave again. Tell him that you love him and beg for him to never leave you becuase of your misbehaviour.
For best results, go down on your knees when you tell him this and give him the best BJ of his life right after. Done!
Thank me later by replying to this comment. I'll gladly accept a modest monetary gift even if my adivce is priceless.
PS: Men love women, who respect them and take full accountability, and yes, we love BJs, too.^^
You need to have a serious talk with him and don't waste any more time. Are you dating? Looking for marriage? Already had sex? No more sex. No more dating. Ask hard questions, see if you values you match up. If they do, it will be worth while changing your ways IF you really like him. If not, move on.
I m Sorry, are you suggesting her to upgrade her relationship by DOUBLING DOWN on disrespect? She Is not a boss hiring and underlying, She Is an equal confronting another equal. Asking hard question Is putting her needs above everything else, the exact opposite of respect.
And no, she shoudn t change her ways because this man Is worth It, She should change them because they are wrong.
@@giacomobandini969 Asking hard questions does NOT mean disrespect.
Female disrespect happens over a thousand cuts. It is up to the man to have firm boundaries and enforce them without exception at all times. All that just to be not disrespected. To be genuinely respected for everything a man brings to a relationship will a topic for another time. Maybe Doc PyscHacks can do one soon ?
Yes.. Disrespect is a slippery slope.. it happens gradually & if not nipped in the bud, will lead to the distraction of the relationship.
This is 100% common sense to any man.
If you are a woman, and you want a peaceful relationship, follow Dr. Orion's advice.
If you want war, or want to end the relationship..... do the opposite. Your choice.
Warning, if you start the war.... the other person may decide to not end it..... ever.
😆😆😆😆😆 😆😆😆😆
Sukkel
This is the second video from this guy and to say it’s revolutionary to me is an understatement. The first being while most marriages fail and the second being this one. It’s crazy because my marriage of 10 years is failing and we are both seriously considering divorce. Watching the other video about why marriages fail really gave me insight because when I broached divorce with my husband he immediately said we should simply for the kids. This hurt me at the time because I love my kids but my narrative has always been that it’s unhealthy to stay together because of kids. But that video quickly helped me to realize that kids and their upbringing must be the primary role of marriage. We have young kids and we’re both good parents I believe. What I wanted though was for him to want to be more for me, in terms of the attention he gives me etc.
This video again was like woah, because I honestly do every single one of the things he mentioned and my husband has always been resistant when i do it which has just made us argue as I didn’t understand why it bothered him so much. I didn’t realize I was disrespecting him consciously. But subconsciously, these things have come from a place where I have begun to feel less respect for him as I’ve felt my needs weren’t being met. Anyway real food for thought thank you.
You are correct women disrespect men, have seen it so many times.
I watched both of your videos and took them to heart. I realize now the disrespect I've shown my boyfriend is a definite reason for break up, but he's stuck with me. He recommended your channel to me and I will be changing my ways of treating him and any man. Thank you again!!!!
I believe at 31 I just begun to see things just the way they are by nature and not by society standards.
Thanks a lot! 😊
Me too and I’m 64 with a degree in counseling lol
great episode. Also, it's a good sign to watch out for. If a women is disrespectful towards you, then it's a sure shot sign that she does not like you as much as she makes you believe.
This two part series was phenomenal! Thank you 🖤
My ex had major trust issues... to the point she accused me of cheating for several days when I changed the scent of my deoderant to Old Spice original from SpeedStick Sport and she mistook it for a woman's perfume. She felt like an ass when she was standing next to me one morning and got a whiff of the scent as I was putting on my deorderant and finally made the connection.
A few years later, she falsely accused me again because I was working a lot of overtime to buy her an engagement ring, which I had planned to give her on Christmas Eve. She could have easily dropped into work and saw I was legitimately there and made some excuse for why she came to see me, but I guess she was too stupid for that.
My own stupidity was when she made the accusation, I gave her the ring to prove I wasn't cheating. Had I been smart, I would have just shown her the ring then threw her out and saved it for someone who actually deserved it. At least she still felt like an idiot when I showed her the ring, but in hindsight I could have saved myself an extra 14 years of BS that I only saw after we finally split up.
Protect this guy at all costs.
I have been in both types of relationships. You don't realize how destructive these little amounts of disrespect become over time. It got to a point where whenever I expressed any opinion on anything, I was "mansplaining", however, I was expected to listen to her endlessly drone on and on about her problems.
I'm now in a relationship where she absolutely respects my authority and hardly questions anything I say unless it is really necessary. Everything is just so much easier for the both of us.
Ignorance is bliss until you're not longer ignoratnt... than you realize how dreadfully brutal everything's been all along.
If a woman was more intelligent than a man, she wouldn't need to get "mansplained". It's for her own good, ;).
Thanks for sharing this. It would be so good to see this becoming the norm again in relationships. The man is the natural leader. The world would truly be a better place. Women are for the most part not designed to lead and make the hard decisions - we can do it sometimes if we have to but it's not our natural role.
We're all gonna make it brahs
🙂
Women choose men that are better than them. And yet, once they snag the guys, they think they're suddenly on the same level. That in itself is disrespectful, because men have to earn their station.
Female ego destroys them
In a relationship where your survival is dependent on another person’s decisions/actions, you must be willing to communicate. Because most people aren’t mind readers, questions are necessary to learn, understand, and grow with each other. If you have to walk on eggshells to ask a question about something that affects your life, that’s a major red flag.
You're here arguing against psychology. What you choose to see it as, is irrelevant. It is what it is
Can I just appreciate the art of the Thumbnail? Like... GOODAMN ITS GOOD!
A spouse can really say something that sticks for long time and changes the relationship.
I’ve heard multiple sentences like of this sort and it diminished the relationship.
The worst thing is I don’t feel there is any point bringing it up. It wasn’t my spouse mistake, it was an actual value-based opinion.
Now I avoid brining the parts that my spouse complained about. Now there is very little that I value that I can bring, share and enjoy.
My rule of thumb in relationships with men (and other relationships, for example, family, friends, co-workers, etc.) is, to give the same respect I demand for myself.
You don't demand respect, you earn it. Get it together.
The artwork of the thumbnails is remarkably exquisite.
I just realised I was ebing disrespectful to people I was in a relationship with (but they provoked me 😂) on a serious note though I saw how my mother was very respectful to my father and her own mother to her husband. I can see that I have not been good and I was too entiteled. Now I know what not to do.
Sure. But ask yourself, did your parents actually like each other? If you are disrespecting your guy, you may not actually like him and should move on.
Good stuff. This theme reminds me of the book “When I say No I feel Guilty.” We are our own ultimate judge for sure other than God.
After years of disrespect by my ex and my 2 daughters I have stopped speaking with them . I tried listening carefully to their disrespect and repeating it back to them word for word and then listening. I only got gaslighting and passive aggressive corrections . They are never ever wrong and they only continue controlling the narrative . I’m sad but choosing not to continue the relationship.
On the flipside, if a man acts disrespectfully, it is better for a woman to ignore him, gracefully decline if he advances. If he is not respectable in your eyes, either he will disappear or work to be more respectable.
Incorrect. A woman should not be respected. Actually the worse you treat a woman the better her compliance.
@@charlesfinnegan7930yes... treat women poorly bulids their discernment muscle 4:18
@@charlesfinnegan7930 I'm sure the women are lining up to be with you.
@@charlesfinnegan7930 I have dropped a dude immediately for doing that. It's not attractive by any means. A man is gonna be respectful to me or else. A man doesn't have to be a woman's lapdog, but he is to respect her. Compliance? A woman is far from being inferior to man and has no business being "compliant" to him. I'm glad you wrote that so I can show my girlies what kind of a*holes there are in the world.
So I don't agree with everything you say, only about 90-95%, but Dr Taraban, You deserve a pat on the back, a medal & a HUGE thank you for saving men that truly care about women from being manipulated, emasculated, used & abused!
Very well said sir. I enjoy your content as it is very spot on. I have an ex who is great at taking care of me, but she does the excessive questioning and is purposefully being contrary for her validation. If she could learn to correct the behavior, we would probably be good for each other. Men learn early to respect elders and wait our turn to speak. As you said, our only protections are learning the rules and living it. Women have no idea how well trained a man has to be to amount to anything in our society. Here come the women who think life is their oyster and the disrespect shows as much as a feminine woman does in the opposite light. Thank you for helping us discern these points. It is much appreciated. 👍
Women expressing disrespect probably disrespect themselves. They don’t see their own value/worth and have learned helplessness around communicating their wants and needs in a positive and proactive way.
Bingo. Recently broke up with a woman. Much of her outward behavior was a projection of her own deep insecurities. I'll never date a woman like her again, unfortunately she turned out to be a disgusting mess of a person on the inside once the mask fell off.
In women’s defense, men have an almost instinctive understanding of power flow, but we have to learn it. If someone were to ask me questions about what my reasoning is about something I do, it wouldn’t even register on my radar as being a power grab. It would mean to me an opportunity for a conversation. But I surely know not to ask that of other people, most especially men. I had to consciously learn it.
I think it depends on the attitude. If asked with curiosity it should be a good thing for communication
Re: inappropriate teasing. Anyone ever end up in a relationship that starts with some awkward ball busting (from both the m and w) as kind of a flirty ice/ tension breaker? Ever stay in the relationship long enough to see that teasing morph into straight up verbal and psychological abuse and public humiliation? I let that happen to me once. ONCE
That's what birds do. Insecure people do this because the space in the skull is dead air. All they know how to do is drop disses, swear, get semen, steal money, heckle, and lie. That's it.
I wholeheartedly agree with that teasing and sarcasm part.
I got a bit drunk last night. I was having a nice evening talking to my wife and adult daughter over dinner and into the evening. They shared a bottle of champagne and aperol, and I drank red wine. I was having a really fun night and drank the whole bottle, and then opened another bottle to just have one or two more drinks. Suddenly my wife started lecturing me, accusing me of being an alcoholic. My daughter chimed in, and physically wrested the bottle from me, then claimed that I had hurt her arm because I didn't immediately let go. Then the two of them lectured me for a hour. My wife video recorded me on me on her phone. I never got physical in any way, but was very upset, declaring that what they were doing was disrespectful to the man who (a) paid for the house they lived in, (b) paid for the wine I was drinking, and (c) paid for the champagne that they had drunk. In the morning I discovered that my wife had locked the cellar, and hidden the key. In the sober light of day I told her that what she had done was not only disrespectful, but humiliating. I haven't decided what to do about this yet, but I am not going to pretend it never happened.
What you say is very uncomfortable to know as a woman, but deep down I know it's true
I always thought of teasing as a type of play, and healthy for a relationship.
The best. My favorite so far.
Wants and desires outside of her own is a problem for her. She will say anything to get rid of them
A woman showing disrespect is demonstrating she doesn’t fear loosing you
Replace her immediately
It can also be that she disrespect him because he once disrespected her and women remember everything and it's hard to forget.
@@ngeee10
lol women will eat every bit of disrespect a hot guy feeds her with a smile on her because she fears loosing him
The equation doesn’t change based on his behavior. It’s solely dictated by how into him she is
It’s been a long while since I pursued women romantically. Seems like I’m missing out on a small quantity of good stuff and a massive heap of headaches and frustration.
It only gets worse. Give it a few more year and no one is going to marry. it will allbe just sex
This is an excellent list and of course, describes a problem that is rampant and perhaps unavoidable in a democracy. In a country with a free press, it is entirely appropriate for a lowly reporter to yell at the head of state a series of questions or demand explanations for either policy issues or even personal foibles. That is the standard model. People adopt this as a standard behavioral approach in relationships. Even children, who are taught critical thinking, adopt this approach. It is a bit much to expect these key pillars of democratic institutions to disappear from human relationships.
So I just recently dealt with this in a big way. Over the past years my love life has been pretty rocky to say the least. I confided in a good friend of mine some of the details (lesson learned here too). Unknowing to me, my buddy leaked some of my stories to his long time girlfriend. I'm very private with my love life and don't like everyone knowing everything about it. On multiple occasions in large social settings she brought up private details in a way that was insinuating that "oh, he's just bad with women". So the first few times I just calmy brushed it off even though I was annoyed, but eventually I had to draw a line. So the last time she did this I told her "hey, I don't bring up who were having sex with before my buddy (she had a lot of short term flings before settling with my friend), and if I did I'm sure you wouldn't like it, so don't do it to me"... And as you would imagine, she was completely confused and thought I was being the asshole, she flat out 100% didn't even understand she was being disrespectful. She's an attractive girl so I don't think she's used to being told she's wrong. Women disrespecting men without even realizing is very real.
That ain’t a friend. That’s a Nancy boy who likes gossip and can’t be a man and keep his lips sealed. He violated bro code.
Your friend is the asshole. His chick is just the dressing. She only parroted what your 'buddy' said. Damn
This is a firm reflection on your buddy. If he cannot contain his woman from disrespecting other men then it shows his lack of character, period. It is not YOUR job to check HIS woman. Never forget this, man. And never let a woman of your own disrespect you or any man, either.
We're listening. Thanks for unraveling these knots.
It does make sense, there are roles of authority in society and in a marriage. I guess it's why it says: I do not permit a woman to teach or excercise authority over a man
Sister, it's because she wasn't allowed education back in the day. You can't exercise power if you are unlearned. It's not because she was a woman. Paul wasn't sexist. Eve was deceived because God didn't give her the commandment to not partake of the tree, he gave it to Adam. Adam knew what he was doing even though God told him directly not to do that. That's even worse. On top of all that, Adam blames both his wife and God and not taking accountability for his actions. Paul wrote letters to female pastors and prophetesses in scripture. Deborah was a great judge who helped Israel win the war and it was won by a woman. Proverbs 31 woman is a kind and generous girl boss who runs a lucrative business, owns property, and loves and cares for her husband and children and they arise call her blessed. We women are amazing. Blessings to you. 🩷✝️
Thanks!
Appreciate you highlighting these things ❤
Where I'm from, and in most of the world really, as a man if you’re constantly and consistently being disrespectful, it is a sure fire way of eventually having yourself referred to in past tense or getting hurt real bad at minimum. Women don’t get to face the danger of physical consequences for disrespect in their lives, hence their trouble with learning respect as opposed to men, in general terms.
Ego, women have made a man’s ego the villain of any conflict when in reality a man ego strives to protect women from harm, fight wars, or dare to innovate and create. At the same time to women his ego won’t allow women to control him, prevent failure, seek guidance from women. Sometimes men rather see challenges through to the end and learn from his mistakes. Sometimes the goal is to commit to decisions, good or bad outcomes be damned, it’s about the journey rather than the gift.
Ladies, don't forget this one, too: "correcting something you think a man got factually incorrect in front of those in the presence of those whom you think he got it factually incorrect."
If he's premising some point on the facts as he remembers them (rightly or wrongly), and for you to attempt to correct him in public you are making a challenge to his authority and intellect, placing you above him in acuity of memory and right to be right...and in a social situation. You're attempting to embarass and subdue him, and he won't like it one bit. If he's a real man, your own 'cred' will drop immediately with him. He'll see you as a social liability, instead of as his supporter.
And also remember this: because memory for anyone is an imperfect tool, despite your feeling to the contrary, he may just actually be remembering things better than you are. If you have an objection, and it's serious, say it in private, afterward, and respectfully. There's no reason to challenge your man in public, unless somebody is going to die as a result.
Keep that humility, if you would. You'll be a better partner for it, even if you think it opens up a chance for him to voice a mistake.
The observation about making oneself a social liability should be obvious to women, since they tend to use men as fashion accessories. A man who doesn't look good on her arm will be discarded as quickly as an out-of-fashion pair of shoes. Women are likewise social accessories to men. Nobody will stay associated with a liability.
Hurting the man's reputation hurts his ability to protect and provide for you, which hurts you. The woman doesn't win if her manman loses. She loses too
@@cosmictreason2242 Right. She has to realize that the unit she wants is "me and him against the world," not "me and the world against him." If she undermines his authority and competence, she undermines the authority and competence of the man on whom she's relying.
I agree let him remember it his way.
@@cinnababe53 that's not what we're saying
If my lady embarrass me in public she will be apologizing in public or find someone else.
4. Demanding Explanations. 5. Teasing.
They do the action of disrespecting you because they don't feel respect for you. It doesn't start with them doing the actions of disrespect, it starts with them feeling disrespect towards you.
Remember what Kevin Hart said. She is upset because you weren't her first choice.
Then why doesn't she leave? If a person man or woman feels like they can't respect their significant other then they should leave and do it civily. A breakup does not have to get ugly just because one person decides the other person is not right for them anymore.
@@gracerules2008 Whores does not leave their best customers.. It is a matter of comfort.
Factssssss they don’t do these things with men they totally respect
@@gracerules2008stop trying to figure out why a woman does something. Just act accordingly at the signs
If you win you loose, if loose you still loose.
Women think they are blank slates when they are really just templates.
F____k. You described my marriage perfectly. The part that really sucks is it started within 3 months of saying "I do".
I developed a zero tolerance attitude toward women I dated later in life. Scolding, shaming, blaming, cutting sarcasm, meant I'd turn my back, walk away, not look back.
For way too long I allowed this, and drew in toxic narcissistic females, some of which I had relationships with.
These women knew the power of sex toward me. I was athletic, fit, and horny... I needed sex. These women looked at my need as leverage to get whatever they wanted.... sex was no longer a form of affection. It became a bargaining chip.
Once I consciously "got it," I just stopped having sex with said individuals... Still they kept the requests for "help" coming... I guess to cover their asses for the past.
In all cases, I walked... studied more about male/female interactions, developing my zero tolerance.
The more attractive women were, the worse violators they became... their beauty didn't matter after a while.
Eventually, I did come across a good kind, non-manipulative woman... still, she innocently violates some of these points as well... As you said, she just doesn't realize what she's doing.
I've been the subject of much narcissitic sarcasm. Thanks for the word "contemptuous."
Males as well as females have abused me most of my adult life with sarcasm. It is vicious, cruel, disguised as humor. Social media is rampant with it.
I'm old now, but wiser. I called out a long time friend this past week. He's a "useful" narcissist... I've learned much from him over the years. He's recovering from heart surgery... is still quite physically fragile... I am curious if the friendship will continue if I continue to call him out. Narcissists are tough... resist change.
I hope you have good 2024, Doc. Due to your videos my Outlook increased and made my head sore due to thinking 😂
I agree with him regarding the bit about explanations because men love demanding/receiving explanations. Receiving explanations makes men feel powerful and important so having to give an explanation makes them feel like they’re losing “power”. It’s all about power with men.
What if he teases me or is sarcastic with me?
Tell him ONE TIME you dont like it and dont want it. Next time he does it, leave.
Great! Watched the series. Now . . . How do men inadvertently disrespect women?
Hey Orion, I really appreciate your work and respect your logical, scientific approach to understand dating and relationships. However, is it possible that reducing human romantic and sexual relationships down to a social economic transaction is a huge oversimplification of very complex human behaviors? In the end, what the vast majority of both sexes are ultimately looking for is companionship (not just sex or resources). There are many ways relationships develop and I think wants and needs are very different between individuals? Do you understand? I'd love to see a future video on this topic.
I thought I was just continually attracting the wrong women because something was wrong with me. No. Something was wrong with them. Now I’m happy they are out of my life even though I loved each dearly. I feel sorry for them but don’t want them back.
Deadly accurate! Love love your content!
Thanks for these videos. I’m afraid I’ve been making my husbands life hell and he doesn’t deserve it. I’ve been on his case about everything and been super controlling and nit-picky and talking down to him. It’s not all the time but when I do it it’s bad. Thank god he’s patient and hasn’t left me 🥺 I came across your videos this morning and it’s stuff that I really needed to hear. I need to change so bad before I lose him😞
ORIAN! You should take the text you read and make it into a book!
YEAH! It's already there and together.... just have to organise it and SHABAM!
Best comment you ever read :)
He is writing a book luckily for us :D
As soon as he finishes it, I'm willing to preorder it.
My Ex went through my phone behind my back, looked through all my private messages.. After that point she began demanding that i hand my phone over to her, so she can look through it. She demanded it, almost like i have no choice but to give it to her, and it is her right.. i dumped her some months ago.
Unfortunately thats what Is in now. People need to find out who is tracking their devices to see how being a prisoner has affected their a quality of life. That would be amazing. Heaven on earth.
Western women are allowed to get away with disrespecting men. The government protects them from any repercussions from their actions.
Nations where disrespectful women arent protected doesnt have disrespectful women. They fear the men and respect them.
Dr. O dropped a BIG GEM at the 4:00 mark about authority…but you didn’t hear him, doe
I caught that... He even used body language.
So true. Women make disrespectful comments or yell at their partner/husband instead of trying to communicate in an adult manner. They would never act this way with their girlfriends or at work. This means you can't always blame it on hormonal fluctuations. Most men will put up with bad behavior or wait for the storm to pass but some won't. I don't know if I heard it on this channel but you can try to deescalate this situation by asking them if they want to be heard or need a hug.
The modern woman simply believes that if a man comits to a relationship with her, he simply does it for at least one of these 3 reasons: 1. Easy sex, 2. Love . 3. Familly dream. Anyone of these reasons are considered as weakness, just becouse she is the chosen one. The dream woman. So, in marketing language you can say she has monopole in the market. So she affords disrespect becouse now she has the power.
That is why you do not commit to a relationship.
@@charlesfinnegan7930 you forgot to text what should end your sentence. The word "anymore".
I think the main thing is around a decision that has already been made. There is no true answer to: why did you make that decision- it just is your decision. So when people question it, it challenges your act of free will in making the decision. But yes, people perceive it as a power struggle…The main point for me is whether the person would speak that way to someone else- if no, its a learned behavior for that relationship. If yes, there might be an underlying psychological problem- anxiety, autism, or as you suggest a lack of social awareness…i guess these also might apply if the answer was no…
Words of wisdom thank you Orion for sharing.