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How To STOP Being A NICE GUY (who gets no a**)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 พ.ย. 2023
- How to Kill your Inner "Nice Guy"
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The part about attracting low quality women when you're a "nice guy" is definitely true. Back in my simp days I got with a girl who had serious mental issues and tried cutting me off from all my friends. I thought this girl was the best I could get and put her on a pedestal as I was unhappy with my own life, fortunately that relationship did not last as she got rid of me which was a massive blessing in disguise. I haven't been in a relationship since, pretty much have the take it or leave it mindset at this point since I've got goals that I want to achieve, and no man or woman is going to stop me from working towards that.
This sounds like the exact same thing I'm going through, story and all. We got this brother.
Same here but only cheated on
bro what your describing my life rn lmao
Same here brother. Reach to your goals and succeed!!!
@@christianramirez6718 only thing we could do brotha, one day at a time working on ourselves and becoming the best version of ourselves. Live and ya learn.
“If you treat you like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan”
I didn’t get it, didn’t you mean her?
@@andrjsjan4231 your mom
If you treat her*
You fucked up the quote
This is how I see it, if I can't act nice and be myself to a girl then she can get out of my sight. I'm not scared to say no and I do love myself and put myself first. What I learned from experience is that when a girl starts playing those games by testing you (especially chooses to ignore you on purpose) then she has lost all respect for you and doesn't love you for who you are. Just move on without hesitation, ignore her and never speak again, for some reason going no contact can drive girls crazy wanting you back because they didn't realize what they had in front of them. If a girl truly loves you she will love you unconditionally and put in the same amount of effort that you put into the relationship. This is just from what I learned so far in my life. 🤣
Only mama loves you unconditionally. Why should a woman love you for just existing bro?! You lack ANY understanding of nature
Are you single?
There is a difference between being a good person and a nice guy
And how are they related?
They are nice but from other reasons, nice guy is nice because he want get something,
good person acts good because he believes to be good qnd don't except anything back
@@emate8422that part
@@emate8422 This can be the case, but it's not always true. Honestly I expirienced both. On high school I was "nice" to get girls. Didn't work out. I spent years working on myself, not to simp, listen to hundreds videos like this and did everything i could to not be "too nice". But it doesn't fucking matter. Even when acting naturally i just don't have that "sexy douche" energy.
@@marty.m2933bro i think this is about, at least that's what i experienced, women accept, appreciate and be attracted that romantic, nice and overly thoughtful behaviors from men but when they are in comfort zone which is had to be provided by the same person beforehand. In other words, you should show your masculinity by proving yourself to maintain and protect her and then you show your commitment to her by those nice words and behaviors... if you mixed up the order then you are eliminated...
I really like one thing about you, that your whole life story is very much like mine (and other people probably too) and seeing you as growed up masculine man, I realize that nothing prevents me from becoming the best version of myself. Thanks a lot for your videos, keep going and Stay Hard!😂
You too bro!
One quote that has stuck with me, is that,
"Growing up, is realizing what type of mental issues peoppe have."
Ever since I started reading people, I was able to cut toxic relationships out of my life.
Yes it was hard to replace those relationships, but they will always come.
Some of my best friendships came the very day after I broke off someone toxic.
I cut off my ex from my life and blocked her for good, and I met a new girl the very day after.
I cut that girl from my life cause she ended up being toxic, and another friend of mine expressed feelings for me.
Part of being a man, and an adult, is making difficult decisions that you know will make you feel empty.
But I've learned that it's better to let go, than to hold onto something that's dragging you.
So true
This is awesome. I’ve actually been really lucky since honestly being a kid. I could always sort of read people ever since I can remember. It helped filter out the good people from the bad, and ever since like freshman year of high school, I’ve only kept about 1-2 sometimes 3 friends. But I haven’t been hurt in any friendships, and actually have 2 friends that really care about me. Too many people are focused on turning their real life into their social media, where they’ve got hundreds to thousands of followers. That’s why I deleted all social media besides TH-cam. Anyways I’m ranting but keep your circle small people.
I did that, I always cut toxic people from my life, the problem was, there were no new friendships forming and I wasn't getting a relationship. I thought, that it sucks, but I'm gonna focus on myself and eventually I will connect with good people. But after years, there is noone. And I need social interaction and friends and it's killing me not having that.
I’ve been working on myself for 3 years - healthier eating habits, working out, abstaining from porn, etc. Yet, I’ve still struggled to attract even one high value woman. I’m 22 now, and I guess my only option is to continue working on myself. I just found your channel recently and I’m looking forward to learning some new things that might help me out a bit more. Great content Matt!
Don't be fooled by the "work on yourself and women will be attracted" crowd. There is no guarantee, nor is anything automatic. Do it purely for yourself, and the right woman is simply a cherry on top of a nice dessert, if you come across one.
How come you still haven’t succeeded in attracting a good looking girl
I would recommend you check out Coach Corey Wayne.
Don't do nofap/Sr for the sake of attracting women it won't work. Shift your mindset into becoming the best version of yourself and helping others. The longer you abstain from pmo and retain your seed the closer you draw to God and God will bless you by placing the right woman in your life in due time. God bless
@@davidpark2509 God bless you too man! Appreciate the kind words. Hope you have a great weekend
the part where you said "when you're day dreaming of the girl you have a crush on that you've never spoken to" feel like an attack
"Iam so happy with my life that I don't even care if she likes me or not" well said
Inner work is embracing that painful black hole within ourselves, loving that pain, loving that blackness and pushing through it.
tbh this helped me realize a lot about when I am actually successful with girls, and looking back what my father did too. I get girls when I genuinely don't give a fuck if they like me or not. But anyway this video was helpful because my dad died a very tragic way when I was in 2nd grade, and after that I didn't really know what or where to go in life, and some of these videos that aren't just pure toxicity help a lot, Thank you.
Goddamn… love your energy bro. I‘m clean since 16 days and I‘m not even struggling anymore
Idk man, the 'work on yourself' trope is getting tiring and doesn't work in attracting women. There's plenty of dudes that work to become successful in something but have no game with women.
Right now it's 50% looks and 50% charisma (game), with a bit of lifestyle in there too.
'Work on your purpose'. What does this mean? To most that means making a lot of money Hate to break it to you man, if you old or ugly they'll only want your money.
Men MUST start learning SPECIFICALLY what attracts women otherwise best case scenario they'll end up being a 40 year old millionaire virgin.
Some of the other points you made were solid though, just gets tiring when you see the work on yourself argument because most people have no idea what that means
Millionaire?... sounds decent to me. Being able to have enough money to retire and save the family and friends who do care for me from debt would be great.. imo.
The problem is that once u start to focus on yourself, work on yourself and see ur value grow as a product of your effort ur tolerance to bullshit becomes 0, and with the quality of women that exists nowadays, ur better of alone, and being alone is actually the worst drug ever, because once u love being alone and by yourself, u actually prefer to be by your own and ure hapier and have more fun by your own than with people because u realize that the average quality of people is very very low
But I’d rather be alone and be at peace then to have a partner and be miserable or have anybody disturb my peace
What a very pessimistic post lol, I think you need some friends. Also, the “quality of women that exists nowadays” varies from each and every single one out there, you’re an incel if you think “every woman” is of low quality
The same has happened to me also. When I left the bunch of my friends who always used to treat me as an option and outcasted me from their plans, i started to love my alone time and solitude. Now I am able to progress in life and also realise how toxic and bullshit those people were. These days I am even practicing semen retention and it's boosting my confidence also
6:18 Why would you build a relationship with a girl that you don't want, but just because she wants you? That's pathetic and lowering your standards for someone that you're not attracted to. What's the point?
True, there is no point.
Be who you’re comfortable being
love the approach with your videos. you dont sugarcoat things, you just say it as it is. I need this. I dont want people coddling me about these issues. Thank you Matt. Been an avid viewer for a month now and what you say resonates with me a lot. Recently dealt with the whole "falling in love too fast" thing and you made me realize that its clear i need to improve my self worth. Cheers man!
never lose your unfiltered advice
Too bad 15 years ago no one talked about any of this, it could have saved countless strugglers like me.
Thank man just been freindzone 😂😂
Love your video, bro! I completely agree with you. Can't expect women to love you if you don't love yourself and live a healthy personal and professional life. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. It definitely makes a difference.
Thanks man, For spending time to show us what losing feels, and what winning feels, and your true experience of winning, which make us win too...
Excellent video, I was definitely a nice guy growing up but I have learned a lot and has shaped me who I am now
Thanks a ton Matt for making this video. I'm doing semen retention and it's a big journey!
i rarely get anywhere with women. I usually get rejected and ghosted. I’ve been told I’m handsome, funny, I’m polite, I dress well, and a good conversationalist, but it seems most women see me as a joke. in case you were wondering, i'm not a simp and i'm not needy. i'm focused on myself and my goals but it doesn’t seem to matter. it's very frustrating.
In the same boat honestly
The key is polarity. Masculine vs feminine energy, you need to be willing to play the game.
LOL, relatable story my man. And your message is all the more impactful. Subbed for the brotherhood.
I think the best advice I'd give is to not give af anymore, or at least act like it. Treat women like they're your bros for the most part, even the ones you like. Obviously don't be a jerk, but don't be too motherly or fatherly if that makes sense.
Funny you say that I asked one of my gym friends for advice for getting girls and he simply jus told me jus don’t give Af didn’t understand it at the time but now I think i know what he meant you can’t worry about the outcome wether she likes you or not doesn’t matter keep going until you find one that does
You'll should read a book called "no more mr nice guy"
You're awewome for offering this help.
I can't get shy, fourth grade Matt out of my head 🤣In all seriousness, great vid bro
Haha lil man was a menace
bro thank you so much man you don't know how much this helped my overthinking ass, ive been working out and i no longer beat my shi no more.
dude this totally changed the way that i view relationships and talking to girls, i was in a relationship with a girl and we both had real shitty mental health and, in the end, it turned out she didn't even have feelings for me because i was the needy guy. You needa be in a good mental state, focused on your goals, and not watching porn to keep a good mental state and to prioritize yourself and end up giving confident and masculine energy in the relationship. nice vid man, keep it up
Thanks Matt
As a guy who can get almost any girl he wants, I’m telling you don’t go down this rabbit hole. If you’re a virgin I’m jealous of you, once you sleep with enough women you start going down a really bad path, trust me.
So how does this advice work?? Does it work ? Are you a nice guy ?
@@dingdong6005 I’m not a good person
What do you mean? Please elaborate the rabbit hole thing
It simply means, later you want something special with a girl and you won't get it because you will want other women without actually wanting it( if you get what I mean). You may start to use women only for sex. A lot of men do it and ate actually extraordinary men in any other way.
@@protocolindao975he probably doesn’t care anymore, he understands it intellectually but emotionally he is drained or tired of the BS
Every aspect of what u call a nice guy, i never done any of it, but ive still never got any girl i wanted, if they are not into you, they are not into you, thats all u need to know, its harsh, its hard, it seems like there will be no improvment, but thats life. All u can do is working on urself, get money, get a good body, live your life, get some experience, learn how to be funny, how to be intersting because sometimes being you is not enough for the girl u want. Its either u pull urself up to be able to touch the angels, or u bend down and pick up the crumbs.
Don’t change for anyone…
yes, but how about change for urself if its YOU who's putting you down and behind??
when I was in 4th grade, there were tons of girls who had a crush on me, but then, it stopped. :(
How come? What do you think it stopped?
My fav content creator, thank you
This video is Gold thank you
I don’t know how and if i can change but i will give everything
It's incredible. This video is PERFECT for my situation! Thanks a lot Matt
Love this guy, fantastic video mate!
I honestly wish I would have seen this video years ago because it gives me so much needed motivation to work on myself first before I get into any type of relationship with a woman, that’s what I need, thank you!
Bro I don`t agree with the part of ,,you shouldn`t treat girls like friends"! This is something than some hard redpiller who wanna f*ck everything that has hole would say. I think that you should be in friendship with the girl before you start dating her, because if you become her boyfriend as soon as possible, you may choose the wrong girl, because you still don`t know her (is she good or bad girlfriend). The other option is to be redpiller and to not even have a girlfriend, only lovers that you don`t even talk to them after you both having sex.
I can’t believe you only have 34 K subs. Your videos are ver high quality👑
Bra went off in this one 🔥
I used to be a simp, not have been focusing on myself and my mountain bike races, getting last place, girls rejected me, then I said to myself to stop and start focusing on myself, now I’m getting top ten finishes out of 56 racers and girls won’t leave me alone and they want me.
Great vid Matt
Rookie mistake, instead just don't bother and you don't have to go through it all
This video is so insanely and almost embarrassingly accurate of my middle and high school years, you know what you're talking about! I'm all ears.
in conclussion:
1: work on yourself, do nofap, go to the gym, just become a fkn anime character
2: be the masculine energy in the relationship, this means chasing your goals and not being needy with the girl
3: treat your girl well, just do not overdo it
this issue with this for me is that no matter what i do i can never fix the condition i have where my chest is fully indented, so i basically cant work out to look good, it will never change
:( but i really appreciate the motivation i have into nofap
bro I can understand why that is a big concern for you.. But it really won’t screw your life up forever!! I promise you, there’s plenty of ways to fix that. Either through surgery, combined with specific exercise. You’re not alone, don’t EVER give up. This is your only shot in life, EVER. Good luck my brother❤️
@@Pr0llyN0tM4TT thanks for this, i still have a horrific diet and my motivation to change is hard but if i want to build i need to figure out a way
@@botato3306 screw motivation man, you’ll make it. all about discipline!! if you want to succeed as much as you want to breathe, you’ll make it👏🏻❤️
I get it where you coming from, but bro honestly? Who gives a fck about your chest? No offence. Everyone has some flaws, not a single one person is perfect. If some chick is disgusted by it, just boot her. There's millions of girls out there, and there has to be one who isn't bothered by it. We compare each other alot to others, thats what social media brought us.
I’d like to offer a piece of advice that’s helped me. Don’t be the “nice guy” but be nice. Follow all these tips, but still be nice to the girl. A lot of guys think being nice makes you a “nice guy” so the become mean towards the girl. Don’t do this guys. Be nice but be a leader and somebody she looks up to and respects. If she respects you, you’ve got it in the bag.
Fire your barber bro 😂😂😂
This is the right video at the right time
Nothing wrong with being nice. As long as you're very naughty when it counts.
the best video i saw on this topic. i could relate to every word. thanks bro
Don’t even have the intention on getting girls, just treat like everyone else. Be friends first, if they can’t do that then just leave it at acquaintances.
Bro im 15 and i see myself in the intro. Thank you so much!!
Your the best Chanel and your vids are saving my life
Congrats for making those videos mate and being open up with such topics. ✊
Don't be a nice guy.when you are nice your kindness get taken for a weakness.
8:08 LMAOOO bro said lemme just fuck off real quick😂😂😂💀💀💀
love you content matt it has helped me a lot and i just wanted to say thank you and keep it going
Love yourself and respect yourself.
Super good vid ! Clearly sense that you read The Way of the Superior Man a few times already !
Awesome story 🤙🏽. Stay nice, just be more assertive.
I always enjoy watching these videos. They help a lot
Great content on your channel keep it up bro! 😎
stop caring if it works out, take your time and have a life
Thanks man!
This was really helpful!
I agree 100%.
Tatle telled on you. Lmaooooo Awesome f'n video bro. I watched this a few times so I can learn and get my shit right. Cause everything you said, especially about the day dreaming about a fake life together is what I do on a reg now. So now I'ma learn to do that, but with And for myself. Gotta start loving myself. Hell, don't even nor have I ever even really respected myself. Thanks for the video bro, I'm all in now. Game time.
Matt Spear Villian Arc story… 😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭
I was a simp too. I gained a reputation inside and outside of school from 4th-7th grade for being IN LOVE with a girl. I wish I could go back and knock some sense into me. I’m still a naturally bashful and hopeless romantic, but these days I do have an amazing girl in my life that’s loved on me for almost 3 years. I can’t thank her enough, I love her very much. 6:33 Even though we’re not together, she chooses me everyday. She makes me feel so loved. She went to my first comic con with me and met the Power Rangers with me this past weekend. She loves me even after I showed her my Power Rangers and Star Wars toys and wore my Spider-Man costume in front of her. She knows I’m a nerd: I love toys, superheroes, Autobots, Jedi, cosplay, but she still loves me the same.
A friend of mine who's interested in me asked me why I didn't want to date because I hinted at that before, i just couldn't find the perfect words to explain but you just said what i had in mind 😅😅 also this video has convinced me to keep to self improvement even though someone comes along during my journey of self improvement, cause i thought about that scenario and before watching this video, i was always going to pick the girl and bail on self improvement 😂😂
Amazing! Just got to the brotherhood and I’m feeling so grateful for discovering your channel. Peace ✌️
Man that is f***ed up!
This video inspired me to change my life thanks a lot dude🙏🏾
You helped me brother. Cheers.
The anecdote about the 4th grade "love letter" is a great segue to the greater concept of nice vs. kind.
A good man is kind to his girlfriend once in the actual relationship. But the needy "nice guy" cannot get into a relationship in the first place.
You can't be an asshole and get a girlfriend. But you can't be a pushover and keep her either. Balance in all things.
This dude seems chill, and I like his vibe. I totally agree that the best thing you can do is to improve yourself before caring so much about the other person. However, I don't like the whole "nice guy = bad" trope. I know he explains in the video that he is still obviously "nice" to his girl and in whatever relationships he is in, but I just don't like the idea that everybody these days thinks being nice is such a bad thing. "Being nice" by definition means people don't have to worry about you being a dick. You respect others, you are kind, and you don't like to cause conflict. These are all great things! I feel like so many people put being an assertive chadlike a**hole as the pinnacle of masculinity. This includes not having any emotions and fighting to retain dominance no matter what. I know this guy never said these things, but I do know for a fact that several of y'all watching this video think just like that. Also, being a "beta male" is not a bad thing either! If you look up a definition, most articles will tell you that betas have some very admirable traits and tend to be more successful actually, in long-term relationships. Furthermore, nobody is a complete beta, alpha, or sigma and everyone has their own blend within their own personality. So insulting others by calling them "beta" or praising people for being more "alpha" or "sigma" is quite frankly incorrect. With all that, I would just like to say: be yourself. If people are telling you that you are unsuccessful because you are "such a beta male" don't listen to them! We all have different personalities that make us who we are, and you can be just as confident in yourself as a beta male as someone who is more alpha. Masculinity is a social construct. If you are more "feminine" to a bunch of "masculine" dudes out there then it's really not that big of a deal. It doesn't mean you are gay... 🙄it doesn't mean you will never find love. You just gotta be confident in yourself and who you are, and at some point, you will be successful. I actually did like this video btw... Sorry not sorry this is such a long comment ✌
Remember guys, u cant be a simp or a nice guy if u dont even try to pursue women...be like me, idk how to flirt, im just genuinely good with everyone and just stay away from dating so i dont creep out others or dont get rejected...
do you get ass tho?
You need to be rejected
@@liamc1102 jokes on u, i already been enough times... thats the reason i dont try to date
I appreciate this a lot bro! Thank you
Bro i am 24, i just lost a girl to another dude because of this. Because i don't love myself and she lost respect for me. It's depressing. I was with her for 4 Years...lost so much time.
You write her a love note and then she goes out with the HS quarterback and they laugh in your face joking about it. 🤨
Thank you.
I hope this video will help many boys
thanks daddy 🐐
Your videos are great, keep it up💪💪💪
I don't really agree to "choose a girl who chooses you". Just 2 months ago a girl flirted with me and kissed me so we started dating. And just like you said, I thought I WAS in love with her so I agreed as she wanted to be my gf. In the end she was so obsessed and toxic and I only realised it as I was on a business trip last week, where I told her she needs to slow down... Well she was still obsessed and made up stories how to get closer to me which just annoyed me so I lost the "feelings" I had very quickly.
ive been working on myself for years im confident i know im goodlooking and I know im becoming the best version of myself but i disagree about the fact that you can be working on yourself and be better and a girl comes into your life and maybe it works. like I know at my job im a man not a boy and a bitch i grew up and god got me there and ik what love is .
they dream about nice guys and then women ust trash all the nice guys.. and in the end they ll become a terrible person in many people 's eyes.. because they stopped tryharding to be ncie with everybody... good lesson of life. Nice guys actually not respected. not as mush as they deserve. ( an ex nice guy who dot givea fck about women's feelings anymore)
Great video 🔥💪
Yeah bro that is literally me 😭😭
6:00 This part sounds like that episode from HIMYM about leaving someone on a hook and that toxic cycle.
When I heared he got freindzoned 4 times, then I realiezed we got something in common.
I appreciate this
Just got slapped with a reality check
Man that makes me upset about myself…. I’m mad at myself for being a nice guy…
Thank you Matt