The Cost and Benefit Of Dating An Avoidant (If You’re Anxiously Attached)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ม.ค. 2025
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Should have said at the end to summarize, the cost of staying with someone who is avoidant and unwilling to do the work is losing yourself and becoming more and more anxious / depressed. The cost of staying with someone unwilling to do the work is prolonging the dance that you can never master.
Essentially, if you feel like you’re unable to express yourself without tip toeing around or you have to minimise yourself and your truth, you have to start observing how comfortable you truly feel in this dynamic and if there’s a different move you could take towards your own healing and desire of a conscious relationship. The move you fear could be the very thing that will transform your self trust, anxious attachment and in some cases, even inspire the avoidant to do the work! X
@@createwithcorri thank you! I’ve tried twice to have a relationship then a friendship and both times they’ve shown me that’s I’m not that important to them and I’m not interested anymore trying to have a connection with them when it’s just one sided and I’m trying to connect and they’re trying to get away. That’s just not going to work for me. I loved them but I love me more and I just can’t do the dance anymore.
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! A RELATABLE CHANNEL FROM A WOMAN'S PERSPECTIVE! immensely grateful.
“They think they are their coping mechanisms.” That’s very well put and shows why self reflection, which the avoidant avoids, is so important for both personal and relationship development.
The last 3 years have taught me so much about myself. I am grateful for the experience. I broke up with my dismissive ex and realised that I need to heal from my late mum's narcissistic abuse, having assigned the black sheep role to me. I have been learning to self parent and love myself. I won't let anyone take me for granted anymore. For the first time ever in my life, I am happy on my own.
As a man having an anxious attachment style is really unacceptable by evolution. I had to heal and rise
Epic content & I now choose myself for life. My ex DA once told me that I really helped her & I never chased her but simply just mirrored her behavior.
Hey Corri, you have a fantastic way of getting your point across in a nice calm and placid manner , nice tone of voice with a gracious approach - you seem like a genuinely lovely person, I'd personally like to thank you for your content and the help youve given me by creating it !! I think a few people have asked for this already but could you make a video from the perspective of the avoidant living with an anxious attached, but with a leaning more towards pleading with the avoidant to realise the damage they can bring and what and how they need to change in order to help the relationship grow as opposed to strangulating the life/love from it , maybe the type of video an anxious person like me could send to my avoidant wife to try and promote her to even acknowledge her part in the dance and maybe learning some new steps lol
these videos contains so much experience that are really helpful trust me
100% my ex wants closeness, he just is going through financial issues and doesn’t feel good enough so his pride and ego makes him distance himself from me. I had to give up. I’m not anxious, I’m FA leaning secure due to therapy and videos and support groups. I never tried to attachment labels on him. I talked to him about my healing and my triggers so he could maybe look into it..but Avoidants will avoid. Besides he has bigger issues..financial stability. For my peace, I no longer reach out to him because he uses silence as a way to distance himself and of all things, I HATE being ignored. It’s rude AF. So he can do that over there… and live with regret once he finally grows up and realizes he’s alone due to his immaturity and rudeness
Girl did we have the same guy. 😞
Avoidants are unbelievably damaged - and in denial. So don't see how they can ever grow. It might be one in 500 avoidants that acknowledge and want to do the work.
Just broke up with my lady who is an avoidant. I’m not really an anxious, but more of a secure attachment style. I can’t speak for any of you, but it’s not worth the hassle to be with an avoidant. Let them be on an island and play in a bucket of sand but stay clear of them. By all means don’t date a broke one.
Loved this Corri! Brilliant x
Thank you so much for your help and support ❤
This is exactly what is happening to me now with an avoidant. I was also thinking that it is either an opportunity for evolution or I will end up with lessons about myself. Unfortunately she is currently completely unwilling to make changes or accept certain patterns ,and I am constantly wondering if I had given her enough space before sending out a text message.
But this video gave me a lot of understanding and validation. Thanks 👍
You are amazing ❤
I have been married to an avoidant woman for three years. And what I can advise you on the matter is: don't date, don't get involved, don't marry an avoidant woman. Instead, giver her a one-way ticket on a flight to Japan and tell her to stay there forever and never come back. Let her be happy there eating sushi, looking at Mount Fuji and dating Japanese men. There's no cure for avoidance. They don't acknowledge they have a problem and don't want to be healed. They only make you live in hell. Nothing else.
i'm not avoidant, but can i redeem the flight to japan?
lol
@@ottagoldi9625 Do you live in America?
😂😂😂😂
@@wolfgangschanner5947 nope hahaha
@@ottagoldi9625 Well. I live in Brazil. If you live in another country and, besides, are not an avoidant, I don't need to send you to Japan. I want to send my ex-wife to the land of the rising sun.
9:57 this is so relatable.
What if your (ex) SP a legit sociopath and toxic? Why do manifesting coaches not tell people to run and never talk to an abusive person? I feel a lot if the community will promote that you can change the person if you manifest it
Yeah totally agree. The community does not properly protect people from toxic people. Xx
@createwithcorri could be good if you start including it in your content how to recognize signs of abuse from an sp and to NOT try to manifest them. Abusive toxic people won't change but manifesting will keep people attached thinking that they will. Be blunt about it.
I'm glad i came across your channel.thank you,you have helped me so much.i'm anxious he is DA I've learnt so much in this channel and other channels.i'm doing and feeling alot better.i'm nolonger chasing and he is chasing,i dont mind sitting with my feelings and discomfort I'm changing my behavior.what he does doesn't bother me because I'm nolonger focused on him❤
So helpful x
No benefit
Is it beneficial if you were to let the person know that they have an avoidant attachment?
You can attempt that conversation, not from a place or judgement but from a place of understanding (if they’re open to the conversation). Don’t push it if they’re not interested because that becomes controlling. They often have to figure it out for themselves x
Sorry but no. I've tried gently but it's like talking to a wall. Of course we can't generalise and mine was super mega dismissive I suppose. In my personal experience, even if I miss her and probably loved her and I think about her every day, for my dignity and mental health, I had to give up.
they know but dont care enough to change. they like being a victim
Your channel is too much focussed on attachment style these days. The focus is so much on attachment style the manifestation focus has totally gone. Please don't mind but initially your channel gave me so much hope and now it's all about the problems. Sorry just a feedback 🙏🏻 hope you take it positively
If you’re willing to see it, my content has evolved from the classic manifestation type of videos to talking about it through understanding how our human dynamics and the way we are showing up in our relationships manifests the problems we experience. It’s about standing up for ourselves and not gaslighting ourselves with quick fixes. A lot of the manifestation content out there literally creates more mental health issues and I don’t want to be associated with it, not because I don’t believe in manifestation but because I don’t want to teach it in an unhealthy way. I want to help people actually heal and create healthy beautiful relationships by understanding themselves and embodying someone who really believes in love and in themselves. Feel free to stay or go, but hopefully you can see the triggers you’re experiencing from my recent content is also teaching you something about where you are not free x
@createwithcorri no it's not triggering anything of me but I don't like labelling stuffs. Also i have seen all of your videos of attachment style as well and to me Manifestation is more about everyone is me pushed out and healing what belief in me is creating this problem and if my current dynamics aren't helping me i would stay away and ofcourse it's your channel and your way of doing things but this was just a general advice to you as you have many visitors here who keep coming back to your channel. I have been following you since 4 yrs so if I wanted to unsubscribe i would have but I have related to it and stayed all thru this years and this was with all respect so I believe you should attend to all of us and not just people demanding attachment video. I truely appreciate your channel because it taught me self love. I love your meditations as well so my comment wasn't negative. Just my opinion .
@@createwithcorri 👆🏻🩵🌟 with all love
@@ManifestwithMiracle.thank you for your feedback and for your support 🩷 I think everyone’s you pushed out does create a lot of confusion for people because even in this conversation about attachment the other person is of course a mirror, but one of the blind spots people have happens because they’re often not willing to do the embodiment work once they realise what the mirror is showing them. It can be super confusing for people I know. Thanks for staying here, the content will inevitably change and evolve with me x
@createwithcorri Thanks for understanding my pov 🩵♥️🌟