They are actually bad magicians. They just placed rose colored glasses on you and you saw them in the light they want you to see them. Once you remove the glasses you tell yourself I can't believe I fell for that shitty magic trick when you can see them for what they really are.
I know some Narcs in their high and low place. They are actually lack of real skills in life. Cos' all the time they were busy building the image and manipulation game.
She has committed the crime (new supply) but I am doing the time. Her whole family was my social circle. She has turned them all against me. Even one of her own sisters who was one of my best friends. The saying that blood runs thicker than water really does apply , especially in the narc world. How they feel inside (shameful, guilty, perhaps remorseful) is what they project on to you. They will never apologise or show shame, guilt or remorse. They will make you feel it. If you react with emotion, they win. They get supply. Eventually your supply becomes stale and they need new supply in order for them to function emotionally. However, they also also need your negative energy to give them negative supply as this also fuels them. If you are in pain and you tell them this, they are still in control. Never let a narc know they still have some form of control over you. NO CONTACT ! I know my truth. I lived it.
Absolutely true. 7 months removed after dealing with this for 5 years. Smeared my name and turned her family against me. I would never ever in a million years give this person the satisfaction of speaking to me or even looking at them ever again
My ex-wife, before the divorce, wanted to associate my name with alcoholism. She failed. She then tried to call me psychologically challenged. Failed again. At the end she was left with calling me a jealous husband who suffocates her. Before the divorce, she already managed to speak almost to everyone who knew both of us. Her, and her daughter, were secretly recording our fights to sound convincing to others
From my observation, good people don't say bad things about their ex to other people even it was so damaging. Cos' they think it's the responsible for the both side. Meanwhile, Narc will try to spread around how bad their ex was. I mean people who is real victim doesn't want to speak. The perpetrator will talk a lot.
Wow same here. After 6 months I never felt so confused and depressed. I stayed another 6 months trying to figure out what was wrong and once I did I made the fatal mistake of confronting her about her condition. Of course she denied it and was distraught and put it all on me. The last 3 months were complete hell. I spent a year with the woman who claimed to be my best friend/soulmate/love of my life. It’s been a month since I escaped and even though I’m hurting I know it was the best and only thing to do. I quit my job because we work for the same hospital. That’s how bad my anxiety got after I decided I couldn’t continue with her. I can’t be around her. I can’t see her. I can only imagine what she’s told our co workers or even people at the church she introduced me to. At this point it doesn’t matter because I changed my number. Thank God for these amazing videos and information. The only way to survive a narcissist is to run and stay far away from them.
All that you have said here is still going on, in complete shock with it. I thank you so very much for all the deep insights, how out gunned I was. She said she was going to put me in a mental hospital.
Love your accent. Yes, they don't relate in a relationship. I could never reason with my ex. She never listened to me, she just wanted things her way. She had an agenda , she didn't care how i was doing. And she was always like do it now, always upset and never allowing me time to think. Totally attacking my internal peace and well being.
To understand you're the victim of a narcissist is an understanding that is intellectual, scientific, and based on evidence. The thing NOT to do is to give into your feelings--your belief, that is--that the narcissist can't _truly_ be so abusively manipulative and hurtful. Refer to your intellect! Yes! Truly the narcissist is abusively manipulative and hurtful!
Its amazing to hear how this was my life, she turned everyone against me and by the grace of God, her ghosting me , showed everyone that it was not me and perhaps she lied.
Being ghosted by your narcissist is a blessing in disguise. You probably started setting boundaries or caught onto their game and you stopped allowing them to manipulate you. They have to ghost you so they can tell themselves that they left you instead of you leaving them so they can just continue to add to their lies so they can believe they are better then you. I say good ridden. Now you know what to look out for when the next one comes around and the red flags start popping up. They will try and contact you again just to see where you are. Bet on it!! Erase them from your phone, remove them from any social media. If you get her friends to try and flying monkey you about her then delete them also from your contacts.
Thank you 🙏. A very accurate discussion on narcissist behavior delivered in a truthful manner. Every word which spews from their mouth is manipulative and lies out of desperation to keep that mask glued to their face. Ultimately, the mask falls and truth prevails. Twisted, hollow, guilty, full of shame vessels the narcissist is. Empaths, Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️
He was always mad at me is what she tells everyone. Of course she doesn’t tell everyone that she was lying and doing things behind my back and I would call her out in it which is why I was mad at her. She also won’t tell she was cheating on me either.
Once again. Everything in this video is dead on. My family is coming back around since I have woken up. Although it is painful to be alone. I have peace. No drama. No one swearing , yelling and calling me names. Saying awful things about my children. I look back and can’t believe that I was made into a mouse.
yes ! it's a most painful thing i have feeling of my life ! she cheated on me and told with everyone she broke up with me because of all my faults WTH I've worked so hard during Covid 19 to save money for our wedding , and she said i've not taken care of her enough @@ and before i founded that she cheated on me with a guy about 1 month before dumped me she still gave me false hop and try to hovered me ! Are they human , are the narcissist a human ? How can she do that with me , I have been with her 10 years and i swear i love her by my heart !
She really had no one at all to do this with in my case... excepting her close family. (And they have seen this happen over and over and over) My own family and friends are all deceased now. No one left to tell a story to...
Thank you for this video, I never knew I was a monster 👹, and all I did was say, NO, Stop, you are not respectful to me. And 💣. Wow. Now I think about it I think it is funny because my god the effort to do this wow. After all I am simple person. Now I just wait for more of it, but I do not care. Because I love myself and she has the problem not me. If you can not respect my simple No. you have a big problem not me.👍. Remember love yourself and you will never feel the smear on you. Love fix’s it inside of us. Not being angry or feeling sad.
After the relationship with the narc ended, I couldn't remember the nearly two years I had been in it. For someone you loved so dearly to start accusing you of things which were not true really damages you self confidence and soul. It was the narcassist who made me aware of gas lighting and other psychological terms. I had no idea about this stuff, when she accused me of it, I looked it up, and I found out she was projecting. This made me resolve harder to cut her off from my life. I did found someone else who was healthy. I definitely know she has smeared my name, I'm glad I never mix my friendships with people I'm dating. I did lose a friend though, she was always siding with the narc and saying I was the problem. What's funny she claimed to be my best friend..lololol. I did figure she had similar traits to the narc. And a mutual friend shared that my former friend had been talking smack behind my back as well. I did manage to get out of the narc's hold. Life is just peaceful without toxic people in it
My ex too made me aware of the term gas lighting, which I hadn't heard before he mentioned it. He'd say that I was gaslighting him, but he was projecting. It's so sad that he would always make me out as the problem. I use to plead with him to take some responsibility for our troubles and issues in the relationship. It never occurred to me that he was incapable.
My sociopath ex was never to blame. It was always someone else and he happens to be at the wrong place all the time. Literally lied in my face, when I show him proof he doesn't say anything. Never will admit any wrong doing.
Exactly. I confronted my narc ex when I found out she had been cheating. Showed her the proof too. She did not even acknowledge it. Instead, she immediately started to say I was the bad one. I had already researched NPD by that point so I was prepared for her lack of accountability, but it was almost humorous that she would try to skip over the fact that she was a damn cheater.
When you children gaslight you, remember your answer is with love and passion tenderness in a soft voice, because your child will think if there is something wrong with you there is something also wrong with them. Getting mad only helps make the children believe the narcissistic, so always be the better person. Love with the children will always win. When they make the children miss behave and act out when they’re with you it is triangulation, but it’s basically control over you. So stay calm and document get proof get videos of it. For the court room. Build your case overtime and dump it on the judges desk. That is how you help your children. If you fight with a narcissist they will use it against you in a court room. Your job is to gather evidence and never talk bad about the abuser to the children.
@@anoushkamarcin please make a video on helping the target Parent to deal with this stuff. Because over time the children will start to believe the abuser, and stop wanting to see the normal Parent because of there reactions. The Narcissist will never stop triangulating controlling the targeted parent. And this is so strange that no one understands how to handle this abuse. I over the past six months I taught my children about triangulation, and trappings me. Now my children enjoy there time with me and they return home and tell stories to mom on how upset I am and what a bad time they had with me. To make her happy. I never told them to do this, and I never said anything negative about Mom. The children work together to have a good time with me, and they play her game back on her. Both children do this to survive living with her. I teach them not to lie, and both said if they do not lie they will be punished. So the triangulation because the children can see it actually backfired on the Narcissistic. Sad and sick and I can not change it, but the children understand that I am just loving Dad. So helping them and loving them and not being angry at Mom really worked out well for them both. But it is sad they must lie to live with the Mom. I’ve given the evidence to the court I’ve taken my psychological evaluation I’m waiting on her to be a valuated now she’s not cooperating. So back to court soon best wishes love your channel. Sorry for the spelling.👍
@@HatBilly2008 yes of course I will do a video on this topic, I think it’s very important that you brought this subject up. I will add this to the list, it will be a few weeks before I record this. You are doing the right thing by educating your children and remember they understand how you make them feel with love so that helps to strengthen the bond 👍😊
I broke it off with him after he threw a major tantrum because I was completely overwhelmed from work, grief, and the pressure he put on me to invest my money. He screamed at me to get out of the car and left me alone two hours from home. He moved on very quickly and let me know he had found his “dream girl”. Interesting...
This is really helpful thank you. The father of my daughter was physically, mentally and financially abusive to me. We have a young daughter together. I have blamed myself for so much as I just wanted a perfect family. It’s also hard to come to terms with the fact my daughter’s Dad has been so mean. Thankfully he is not like that to her, but you mentioned ‘mirroring’ and notice that in his behaviour particularly with my daughter, he seems to copy how I am, and because I’ve almost been trained by him to feel mad I thought it was crazy to think that but that comment has realise my instinct is right. I have had a really difficult time healing but I’ve been better lately. I texted him my feeling recently about how I was actually strong for getting out of the relationship as I was protecting my daughter, and how I still can’t understand how he could have been so mean in front of our daughter when we were together. His reply was basically it was all my fault not his. I felt quite mentally unbalanced since then and your video has really helped. I think I get sucked in so easily by my daughters Dad I end up with regret and self blame but that’s always has and always will be his stance and my job is to step away, do what is best for my daughter and look after myself too. Thank you for this video.
8:20-8:58 exactly what happened to me. She provoked and manipulated me in an elevator when it was only the two of us, bringing me completely down and leaving me in utter confusion. Then one hour later, having a lot of guests in her house, at some point I had reacted in a very unusual way, something I'd never normally do. She threw open the kitchen door (adjacent to the living room where all these people were) where I was smoking a cigarette, and screamed to me 'SO THIS IS THE KIND OF MAN YOU ARE"- so that everybody would think I'm a crazy bastard and she 's the victim. Nobody of course saw the emotional abuse earlier on. It's such a mindf&*(ing, confusing, abusive experience. And I had more like this. But I'm recovering and she'll know about it (although it wouldn't hurt her). Watch out, people. There are more narcissists and sociopaths around us than you'd believe. Thank you for your very good video.
Same thing happened to me too. She baited me, and becuase they know exactly which point to needle to get a reaction out of you, I walked right into her trap, and reacted in front of her family, exactly as she planned.
He discarded me 8 weeks ago gave me the its me not you talk after 18 years, asked who is she, he said I just need alone time need to find myself I asked again he just sugar coated it and said I cant commit to anyone right now, didnt buy the story not even 5 days later went to his house and low and behold he had her there! He slammed the door in my face called out i was a psycho through the door, yelled out at her saying see i told you she's psycho! Hes not portrayed me as a villain to her and all his friends. All because I busted him! Im still coming to terms I've been with a narcissist and its still eating me inside that I was so blindsided during a lockdown! Never got to see who she is and why she is so worth it?! He always knew how to make others think he deserves better than me! Always told them, I was crazy he tried to help me tried to better me and so on, but if anything it was the other way around and I just hot stepped on!
Same thing happened to me but I knew who she was because she stalked him on his fb page before he discarded me. She is a real estate agent and whenever I start questioning things, I look at one of her videos and I see for myself that he traded down. 😊
I definitely appreciate this video, everything always happen the right timing. Something it is hard to realized everything that has happen. Also, everything you said in this video what exactly what I witness. Thank you for your content. It has helped me.
This was incredibly healing in the end. I am new to your page however I have found your tone and the way you describe things are really helping me to see things more clearly but keep a loving perspective.
This was really helpful thank you. Paragraph it’s nothing I don’t now and haven’t read before but it’s nice to hear and to be reminded and to understand that it’s normal to at crazy in the face of their abuse. And yes, he made sure he had witnesses. He had his friends living with us while I was having a breakdown over his repeated lying and cheating but of course I wasn’t allowed to mention it because it would make him look bad. So I was the one who ended up looking bad, and crazy. And I was every bit as crazy and unhinged as he made me out to be and I appeared. It all falls so neatly into place.
That's why I recorded him for hours. I knew he was smearing because of what family members were covertly saying. My intuition told me that something was up. I actually told my mother in law that my husband was emotionally abusive after I left. Of course she didn't believe me. However, I know how he was and I knew that he would say I said the things he actually said to me. I wanted proof. I will not have my image tainted knowing how I was in the relationship. My husband definitely said he was a victim. I recorded his rages and his silence treatments. I was provoked and I fell for it
You are so on point on this subject wow amazing I was always called once a cheater always a cheater but when the one person needed the space she was the one that ended up in someone else's arms even the last go round had her new supplier move in within 2.weeks of breakup
This video came exactly on time ... I really struggle with a narcissistic sibling and I decided few weeks ago to stop the abuse and just act like an adult , setting boundaries and stop the contact but there are so many people who decide to accept the abuse and the fear ... wanting me to accept it too ... very difficult ...
Yeah after 2 years he just turn his back after catching him still talking to his ex, that we're incompatible. Without looking back, I bought for him but he probably lured his ex back into his life with lies. They always have to have a back up they're never set on you. They're not intentional with you or about you they have child mentality they go for emotions not commitment .
her excuse was that she is aromantic. even before she said that 3 months after the discard i realized that she can't really love, but damn this label makes her seem so innocent. her sex drive goes over the roof. it's sad to see that nothing else matters to her beside that in a "relationship".
The narcissist smeared my name to friends he told them being in my company was boring that I always talk about the same thing that was the reason he is not keeping me company anymore.
As an observer of a narcissistic relationship, photos really do speak a thousand words. So many pictures of him (narcissist) when with girlfriend, looking away or looking into camera with arrogant blank stare. So bored. The body language! I don’t know if I was only one that noticed but I felt something wasn’t right almost a year before they broke up. I only saw it in their photographs.
Thank u for this insight. I have found my closure through trusting my intuition after blocking this guy, a second time. Oh, well, i manage to make him, sign up for a retreat and i didn't attend. So, i don't know whether he sold my secret to my friends. I don't know. God only knows.
Myself I don't care what she says,all my friends that really knows me,they know better anyway, I'm just thankful that I woke up and gotten away, it's more important for me, to heal up and getting away from the toxic narcissist,but very good topic.
OMG this is so crazy.. You're explaining my life.. I do have a temper, my wife has stolen all my money and destroyed my credit... I've tried to work with her to fix the marriage to no avail.. Thank you so much for your insight.
Omg you are amazing insight . The single mother I met that hooked me sold me the poor me story about her x and x boyfriend. I felt sorry for her and stepped up $ wise and did lots for her over 2 years as in mammoth... got dumped over the phone.. then she went to x boyfriends 50th .. my triggers were over the top .. I lost my dignity etc . No violence but I cried lots and went into major depression.. she even wanted to be friends with benefits.. I sold my house as I didn’t live with her and bought a 63 foot classic Italian yacht. She got angry I was moving .. so painful... I would have been better off dating you
Before I even watch this I’m pretty sure I know the answer. They lie about it. I have been told repeatedly I should just say I should just have said that we grew apart. I’m not explain the horror and nastiness and spite of what actually happened. I am going to watch, obviously, but however awful it is I somehow feel better to know how much I’ve learnt and how far I’ve come.
My husband's ex-wife to a tee. Before I learned what a narcissist was I couldn't believe she was for real, she was like a soap opera character. The things she would do, things she would say, and all the things she would lie about. Now it all makes sense.
This is hard to read because the new supply would say the same about me because of all his lies and his smears. She doesn’t know the real him. I hope for your sake that you’re sure you know your husband. X
YES! He turned our lives into a crazy telenovella when we were as vanilla as could be for more than a decade. Then he projected his bizarre behaviors onto me and our kids. Always lying so made me paranoid. Lying about obtuse things then would find out why and it would always bite me and be so out of left field, like raising the deductible on RV then of course so.ethong expensive stolen and damaged so I go through ringer with insurance who did not inform me and he had no right to change it if I was supposed to be primary, etc... All calculated evil things I could never imagine or keep up with due to sheer exhaustion. He loved winning the evil game but I was never playing, never wanting to play!!! Accused me of putting daughter in softball just to mess with him and his visits thst he never did after about 5 months of him being MIA. Yeah like I anticipated he would want to come back and see her but softball would get in the way?! She needed sport and he told us he was abandoning us and we needed to move on so I did! He also monologued like a villain and would not look me in eye when speaking but over my shoulder sort of. I am like who are you looking at?? What is going on? Truman Show gaslighting tactic is what I called a number of the more kooky things. Also he would change his appearance to look like a character in a show when cheating or reinventing in plans to discard, but we took a while to figure it out that is what he was doing but then documented it and yet no one with any power or influence cared and no one thought hey maybe he should not be alone around small kids. He said he was unstable and bad for us and proved it then would say it was all a lie to trick me into leaving him ( as if that admission made him look better??) but now he wants custody and I am the bad parent because him blowing up our lives so unexpectedly caused me severe depression and PTSD after taking 3 years to rebuild everything after the last time he did it. Sorry your soap opera comment obviously hit home hard. Praying you heal quick and fully.
They do tell huge lies about how they left you , when it was the complete opposite . Truth will always come out in the end . You think other people gullible when they say ,.. I don’t understand why they finished with you 😄 .till you realise you were also fooled by them too ,and their distortion of the truth , for many years. Great actors 🙂.
You will be the abuser. If you left then you have abandoned them. I was told that the neighbours said i needed to "grow up" . These were people who didn't even know me at all !!! They will make other people believe it is you.
My last ex of 5 years was non empathetic how I did that for so many years....love.. thats how.. I remember that painful day we ended.. she actually asked me to pick up a cake for a birthday party the day we broke up. And I was obviously extremely frustrated and depressed that day.. not gonna lie I cried like a b*tch when I was by myself. and she actually called n asked me why i had an attitude. It was the most awkward confusing thing ever.
5 years as well my friend. Be strong. These people are fucking nuts. I cried as well. Damn straight I did. I didn't know wtf was happening to me. Smeared my name, showed no empathy and everything was my fault. Absolutely insane.
I was watching Iron Chef America one night, minding my own business. My ex called 911 saying I was suicidal. Ambulance came & had to take me to hospital b/c they were called. I was released 5 mins later. He now had a record of my 'instability'. Gob smacking.
My ex was crazyyyyy after soo many break up and getting back together, my mom ended up calling the cops 👮♂️ on him without letting me know. Of course I would have begged her not to she told me not tell him that they are lookin for him, I agreed went to the bathroom and texted him everything. He got angry and called me all kinds of names. Thankfully I ended staying with my mom for a couple of days instead of going back to my house with my roommates because he broke into my room, took everything except my bed and left. He got arrested the same day with a Gun so I’m pretty sure that Gun was to kill me.
Its sounds like you think they should get a free pass to abuse for years causing extensive damage repeatedly and not be accountable for any of the damage that resulted from their negligence or downright costly stupidity. I don't agree with one person devouring another physically, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, emotionally.financially then spitting them out and move on to the next. Healthy relations should be uplifting, bring out the best in you, encourage, be trustworthy and honest. Anything that starts with a lie is destined to fail.
Something was wrong with me but narc did use & choose to abuse & live with me & 3kids for 18 years & half.... normal people depart in honourable way in 2-3years...
Yes he talks really bad about his mother. She is a narcissist also but he has used her financially. Now he says she is a drug addict when in fact he was a crack user.
You were an awful person lol. Or we have a great relationship still and are still friends (yea bc he tries to Hoover). Lol. I never gave them that pleasure
Narcissists are accomplished actors and actresses. No one knows their real selves, not even the narcissists, they can't afford that risk!
They are actually bad magicians. They just placed rose colored glasses on you and you saw them in the light they want you to see them. Once you remove the glasses you tell yourself I can't believe I fell for that shitty magic trick when you can see them for what they really are.
I know some Narcs in their high and low place. They are actually lack of real skills in life. Cos' all the time they were busy building the image and manipulation game.
This is why genuine people say the fewer friends the better
She has committed the crime (new supply) but I am doing the time. Her whole family was my social circle. She has turned them all against me. Even one of her own sisters who was one of my best friends. The saying that blood runs thicker than water really does apply , especially in the narc world.
How they feel inside (shameful, guilty, perhaps remorseful) is what they project on to you. They will never apologise or show shame, guilt or remorse. They will make you feel it. If you react with emotion, they win. They get supply.
Eventually your supply becomes stale and they need new supply in order for them to function emotionally. However, they also also need your negative energy to give them negative supply as this also fuels them. If you are in pain and you tell them this, they are still in control. Never let a narc know they still have some form of control over you. NO CONTACT !
I know my truth. I lived it.
Same
The blood is not that thick if you were been dating the scapegoat girl.
Absolutely true. 7 months removed after dealing with this for 5 years. Smeared my name and turned her family against me. I would never ever in a million years give this person the satisfaction of speaking to me or even looking at them ever again
Amaze balls, described my situation ! Love light & healing being sent your way. 🙏🏼😇
❤
My ex-wife, before the divorce, wanted to associate my name with alcoholism. She failed.
She then tried to call me psychologically challenged. Failed again.
At the end she was left with calling me a jealous husband who suffocates her. Before the divorce, she already managed to speak almost to everyone who knew both of us. Her, and her daughter, were secretly recording our fights to sound convincing to others
So true i lost a lot of friends because they believed her.
Me too but I figured they were never my friend to begin with. No loss..
Then they weren't real friends
Yes!
And if I broke up with Him,
Then of course, he must portray that it was he who left.
Exatcly 😂
From my observation, good people don't say bad things about their ex to other people even it was so damaging. Cos' they think it's the responsible for the both side. Meanwhile, Narc will try to spread around how bad their ex was.
I mean people who is real victim doesn't want to speak. The perpetrator will talk a lot.
I left him and he said, I left him because I wasn't ready for a relationship. No, I was feeling suicidal after merely 5 months with him!
@Mother I was wounded. Not anymore. :)
Wow same here. After 6 months I never felt so confused and depressed. I stayed another 6 months trying to figure out what was wrong and once I did I made the fatal mistake of confronting her about her condition. Of course she denied it and was distraught and put it all on me. The last 3 months were complete hell. I spent a year with the woman who claimed to be my best friend/soulmate/love of my life. It’s been a month since I escaped and even though I’m hurting I know it was the best and only thing to do. I quit my job because we work for the same hospital. That’s how bad my anxiety got after I decided I couldn’t continue with her. I can’t be around her. I can’t see her. I can only imagine what she’s told our co workers or even people at the church she introduced me to. At this point it doesn’t matter because I changed my number. Thank God for these amazing videos and information. The only way to survive a narcissist is to run and stay far away from them.
I know. I was insane within weeks - it’s nuts
Took me about 90 days. They can't hide their true selves much longer than that. Those last two months musta been hell. Peace
Dam how bout 21 years I go pdst and everything else that comes with these toxic people
All that you have said here is still going on, in complete shock with it. I thank you so very much for all the deep insights, how out gunned I was. She said she was going to put me in a mental hospital.
Love your accent.
Yes, they don't relate in a relationship. I could never reason with my ex. She never listened to me, she just wanted things her way. She had an agenda , she didn't care how i was doing. And she was always like do it now, always upset and never allowing me time to think. Totally attacking my internal peace and well being.
what accent she's common as muck (joking, she's classy)
To understand you're the victim of a narcissist is an understanding that is intellectual, scientific, and based on evidence. The thing NOT to do is to give into your feelings--your belief, that is--that the narcissist can't _truly_ be so abusively manipulative and hurtful. Refer to your intellect! Yes! Truly the narcissist is abusively manipulative and hurtful!
Its amazing to hear how this was my life, she turned everyone against me and by the grace of God, her ghosting me , showed everyone that it was not me and perhaps she lied.
Being ghosted by your narcissist is a blessing in disguise. You probably started setting boundaries or caught onto their game and you stopped allowing them to manipulate you. They have to ghost you so they can tell themselves that they left you instead of you leaving them so they can just continue to add to their lies so they can believe they are better then you. I say good ridden. Now you know what to look out for when the next one comes around and the red flags start popping up. They will try and contact you again just to see where you are. Bet on it!! Erase them from your phone, remove them from any social media. If you get her friends to try and flying monkey you about her then delete them also from your contacts.
I'm with you brother. Stay strong.
@@nickbargas7352 I now know it was the best thing!
@@hal4192 thanks God has this!
@@steved9999 It takes a little while to get past the anger and pain but when you know they can't change you let go of all those negative emotions.
The people that I care about and love know the truth. He tried to smear me, theyvdid not fall for it.
Fact💯
Most people know what's up what they done to you is what you done to them People who can see know the truth this is their life
Have to say you are so intelligent and beautiful. The person in your life is incredibly lucky 🍀
Thank you 🙏. A very accurate discussion on narcissist behavior delivered in a truthful manner. Every word which spews from their mouth is manipulative and lies out of desperation to keep that mask glued to their face. Ultimately, the mask falls and truth prevails. Twisted, hollow, guilty, full of shame vessels the narcissist is. Empaths, Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️
He was always mad at me is what she tells everyone. Of course she doesn’t tell everyone that she was lying and doing things behind my back and I would call her out in it which is why I was mad at her. She also won’t tell she was cheating on me either.
Dude my narc did the exact same thing. They are sick people.
Once again. Everything in this video is dead on. My family is coming back around since I have woken up. Although it is painful to be alone. I have peace. No drama. No one swearing , yelling and calling me names. Saying awful things about my children. I look back and can’t believe that I was made into a mouse.
I like it comment ! Peace is golden.
They want to finish on top, no matter the price.
yes ! it's a most painful thing i have feeling of my life ! she cheated on me and told with everyone she broke up with me because of all my faults WTH I've worked so hard during Covid 19 to save money for our wedding , and she said i've not taken care of her enough @@ and before i founded that she cheated on me with a guy about 1 month before dumped me she still gave me false hop and try to hovered me ! Are they human , are the narcissist a human ? How can she do that with me , I have been with her 10 years and i swear i love her by my heart !
She really had no one at all to do this with in my case... excepting her close family. (And they have seen this happen over and over and over) My own family and friends are all deceased now. No one left to tell a story to...
Thank you for this video, I never knew I was a monster 👹, and all I did was say, NO, Stop, you are not respectful to me. And 💣. Wow. Now I think about it I think it is funny because my god the effort to do this wow. After all I am simple person.
Now I just wait for more of it, but I do not care. Because I love myself and she has the problem not me. If you can not respect my simple No. you have a big problem not me.👍. Remember love yourself and you will never feel the smear on you. Love fix’s it inside of us. Not being angry or feeling sad.
👍👍👍
After the relationship with the narc ended, I couldn't remember the nearly two years I had been in it. For someone you loved so dearly to start accusing you of things which were not true really damages you self confidence and soul. It was the narcassist who made me aware of gas lighting and other psychological terms. I had no idea about this stuff, when she accused me of it, I looked it up, and I found out she was projecting. This made me resolve harder to cut her off from my life. I did found someone else who was healthy. I definitely know she has smeared my name, I'm glad I never mix my friendships with people I'm dating. I did lose a friend though, she was always siding with the narc and saying I was the problem. What's funny she claimed to be my best friend..lololol. I did figure she had similar traits to the narc. And a mutual friend shared that my former friend had been talking smack behind my back as well. I did manage to get out of the narc's hold. Life is just peaceful without toxic people in it
My ex too made me aware of the term gas lighting, which I hadn't heard before he mentioned it. He'd say that I was gaslighting him, but he was projecting. It's so sad that he would always make me out as the problem. I use to plead with him to take some responsibility for our troubles and issues in the relationship. It never occurred to me that he was incapable.
My sociopath ex was never to blame. It was always someone else and he happens to be at the wrong place all the time. Literally lied in my face, when I show him proof he doesn't say anything. Never will admit any wrong doing.
Look at you like your the crazy bye child
Exactly. I confronted my narc ex when I found out she had been cheating. Showed her the proof too. She did not even acknowledge it. Instead, she immediately started to say I was the bad one. I had already researched NPD by that point so I was prepared for her lack of accountability, but it was almost humorous that she would try to skip over the fact that she was a damn cheater.
I have been finding what best describes what I went through...this perfectly narrates it.Thank you 😘
When you children gaslight you, remember your answer is with love and passion tenderness in a soft voice, because your child will think if there is something wrong with you there is something also wrong with them. Getting mad only helps make the children believe the narcissistic, so always be the better person. Love with the children will always win. When they make the children miss behave and act out when they’re with you it is triangulation, but it’s basically control over you. So stay calm and document get proof get videos of it.
For the court room. Build your case overtime and dump it on the judges desk. That is how you help your children. If you fight with a narcissist they will use it against you in a court room. Your job is to gather evidence and never talk bad about the abuser to the children.
Thank you for your comment. This is valuable advise. You are absolutely right. 😊
@@anoushkamarcin please make a video on helping the target Parent to deal with this stuff. Because over time the children will start to believe the abuser, and stop wanting to see the normal Parent because of there reactions. The Narcissist will never stop triangulating controlling the targeted parent. And this is so strange that no one understands how to handle this abuse.
I over the past six months I taught my children about triangulation, and trappings me. Now my children enjoy there time with me and they return home and tell stories to mom on how upset I am and what a bad time they had with me. To make her happy. I never told them to do this, and I never said anything negative about Mom. The children work together to have a good time with me, and they play her game back on her. Both children do this to survive living with her. I teach them not to lie, and both said if they do not lie they will be punished. So the triangulation because the children can see it actually backfired on the Narcissistic. Sad and sick and I can not change it, but the children understand that I am just loving Dad.
So helping them and loving them and not being angry at Mom really worked out well for them both. But it is sad they must lie to live with the Mom. I’ve given the evidence to the court I’ve taken my psychological evaluation I’m waiting on her to be a valuated now she’s not cooperating. So back to court soon best wishes love your channel. Sorry for the spelling.👍
@@HatBilly2008 yes of course I will do a video on this topic, I think it’s very important that you brought this subject up. I will add this to the list, it will be a few weeks before I record this. You are doing the right thing by educating your children and remember they understand how you make them feel with love so that helps to strengthen the bond 👍😊
THE most important video I’ve ever watched on narcissism, I study a LOT on this subject now and this makes absolute sense to me
I broke it off with him after he threw a major tantrum because I was completely overwhelmed from work, grief, and the pressure he put on me to invest my money. He screamed at me to get out of the car and left me alone two hours from home. He moved on very quickly and let me know he had found his “dream girl”. Interesting...
Very loving energy, esp. at the end of the video. Thank you ❤
thank you
- and it highlights the high probability of danger in getting involved with a narcissist. :)
This is really helpful thank you. The father of my daughter was physically, mentally and financially abusive to me. We have a young daughter together. I have blamed myself for so much as I just wanted a perfect family. It’s also hard to come to terms with the fact my daughter’s Dad has been so mean. Thankfully he is not like that to her, but you mentioned ‘mirroring’ and notice that in his behaviour particularly with my daughter, he seems to copy how I am, and because I’ve almost been trained by him to feel mad I thought it was crazy to think that but that comment has realise my instinct is right. I have had a really difficult time healing but I’ve been better lately. I texted him my feeling recently about how I was actually strong for getting out of the relationship as I was protecting my daughter, and how I still can’t understand how he could have been so mean in front of our daughter when we were together. His reply was basically it was all my fault not his. I felt quite mentally unbalanced since then and your video has really helped. I think I get sucked in so easily by my daughters Dad I end up with regret and self blame but that’s always has and always will be his stance and my job is to step away, do what is best for my daughter and look after myself too. Thank you for this video.
8:20-8:58 exactly what happened to me. She provoked and manipulated me in an elevator when it was only the two of us, bringing me completely down and leaving me in utter confusion. Then one hour later, having a lot of guests in her house, at some point I had reacted in a very unusual way, something I'd never normally do. She threw open the kitchen door (adjacent to the living room where all these people were) where I was smoking a cigarette, and screamed to me 'SO THIS IS THE KIND OF MAN YOU ARE"- so that everybody would think I'm a crazy bastard and she 's the victim. Nobody of course saw the emotional abuse earlier on. It's such a mindf&*(ing, confusing, abusive experience. And I had more like this. But I'm recovering and she'll know about it (although it wouldn't hurt her). Watch out, people. There are more narcissists and sociopaths around us than you'd believe. Thank you for your very good video.
Same thing happened to me too. She baited me, and becuase they know exactly which point to needle to get a reaction out of you, I walked right into her trap, and reacted in front of her family, exactly as she planned.
@@BradConroy_guitar Yeah man, completely get you - it's so sad and mean at the same time.
Thanks so much for this! Just been discarded 2 months ago. Adult children are his flying monkeys🥲😢😓
If it’s any consolation you’re 1 amongst 1,000s🙂
This is so insightful , and I agree for your sake just don't let the lies get to you.
Great video , Anoushka 🙏Please do a video on 'reactive abuse'❤️
He discarded me 8 weeks ago gave me the its me not you talk after 18 years, asked who is she, he said I just need alone time need to find myself I asked again he just sugar coated it and said I cant commit to anyone right now, didnt buy the story not even 5 days later went to his house and low and behold he had her there! He slammed the door in my face called out i was a psycho through the door, yelled out at her saying see i told you she's psycho! Hes not portrayed me as a villain to her and all his friends. All because I busted him! Im still coming to terms I've been with a narcissist and its still eating me inside that I was so blindsided during a lockdown! Never got to see who she is and why she is so worth it?! He always knew how to make others think he deserves better than me! Always told them, I was crazy he tried to help me tried to better me and so on, but if anything it was the other way around and I just hot stepped on!
Been there x
Same thing happened to me but I knew who she was because she stalked him on his fb page before he discarded me. She is a real estate agent and whenever I start questioning things, I look at one of her videos and I see for myself that he traded down. 😊
Same here. 15 years. Then married that creature just after our divorced was filed. He is vile. Filthy. He deserves his illusion.
I definitely appreciate this video, everything always happen the right timing. Something it is hard to realized everything that has happen. Also, everything you said in this video what exactly what I witness. Thank you for your content. It has helped me.
This was incredibly healing in the end. I am new to your page however I have found your tone and the way you describe things are really helping me to see things more clearly but keep a loving perspective.
This was really helpful thank you. Paragraph it’s nothing I don’t now and haven’t read before but it’s nice to hear and to be reminded and to understand that it’s normal to at crazy in the face of their abuse. And yes, he made sure he had witnesses. He had his friends living with us while I was having a breakdown over his repeated lying and cheating but of course I wasn’t allowed to mention it because it would make him look bad. So I was the one who ended up looking bad, and crazy. And I was every bit as crazy and unhinged as he made me out to be and I appeared. It all falls so neatly into place.
That's why I recorded him for hours. I knew he was smearing because of what family members were covertly saying. My intuition told me that something was up. I actually told my mother in law that my husband was emotionally abusive after I left. Of course she didn't believe me. However, I know how he was and I knew that he would say I said the things he actually said to me. I wanted proof. I will not have my image tainted knowing how I was in the relationship. My husband definitely said he was a victim. I recorded his rages and his silence treatments. I was provoked and I fell for it
You are so on point on this subject wow amazing I was always called once a cheater always a cheater but when the one person needed the space she was the one that ended up in someone else's arms even the last go round had her new supplier move in within 2.weeks of breakup
You just explained 44 years of my life! Thank you
This video came exactly on time ... I really struggle with a narcissistic sibling and I decided few weeks ago to stop the abuse and just act like an adult , setting boundaries and stop the contact but there are so many people who decide to accept the abuse and the fear ... wanting me to accept it too ... very difficult ...
Yeah after 2 years he just turn his back after catching him still talking to his ex, that we're incompatible. Without looking back, I bought for him but he probably lured his ex back into his life with lies. They always have to have a back up they're never set on you. They're not intentional with you or about you they have child mentality they go for emotions not commitment .
her excuse was that she is aromantic. even before she said that 3 months after the discard i realized that she can't really love, but damn this label makes her seem so innocent. her sex drive goes over the roof. it's sad to see that nothing else matters to her beside that in a "relationship".
The narcissist smeared my name to friends he told them being in my company was boring that I always talk about the same thing that was the reason he is not keeping me company anymore.
As an observer of a narcissistic relationship, photos really do speak a thousand words. So many pictures of him (narcissist) when with girlfriend, looking away or looking into camera with arrogant blank stare. So bored. The body language! I don’t know if I was only one that noticed but I felt something wasn’t right almost a year before they broke up. I only saw it in their photographs.
Wow you are best Anoushka! Thank you for everything 👌🥰
Thank u for this insight. I have found my closure through trusting my intuition after blocking this guy, a second time. Oh, well, i manage to make him, sign up for a retreat and i didn't attend. So, i don't know whether he sold my secret to my friends. I don't know. God only knows.
Myself I don't care what she says,all my friends that really knows me,they know better anyway, I'm just thankful that I woke up and gotten away, it's more important for me, to heal up and getting away from the toxic narcissist,but very good topic.
Looking beautiful again!
Every word u say is so true.
OMG this is so crazy.. You're explaining my life.. I do have a temper, my wife has stolen all my money and destroyed my credit... I've tried to work with her to fix the marriage to no avail.. Thank you so much for your insight.
Omg you are amazing insight . The single mother I met that hooked me sold me the poor me story about her x and x boyfriend. I felt sorry for her and stepped up $ wise and did lots for her over 2 years as in mammoth... got dumped over the phone.. then she went to x boyfriends 50th .. my triggers were over the top .. I lost my dignity etc . No violence but I cried lots and went into major depression.. she even wanted to be friends with benefits.. I sold my house as I didn’t live with her and bought a 63 foot classic Italian yacht. She got angry I was moving .. so painful... I would have been better off dating you
My family - mother, father, son - were conveniently dead when I met the narcissist. What a play ground I must have offered him.
you realy know what your talking about. One of my favorites! :)
Before I even watch this I’m pretty sure I know the answer. They lie about it. I have been told repeatedly I should just say I should just have said that we grew apart. I’m not explain the horror and nastiness and spite of what actually happened. I am going to watch, obviously, but however awful it is I somehow feel better to know how much I’ve learnt and how far I’ve come.
I always wondered ...... Now I know.
My husband's ex-wife to a tee. Before I learned what a narcissist was I couldn't believe she was for real, she was like a soap opera character. The things she would do, things she would say, and all the things she would lie about. Now it all makes sense.
This is hard to read because the new supply would say the same about me because of all his lies and his smears. She doesn’t know the real him. I hope for your sake that you’re sure you know your husband. X
YES! He turned our lives into a crazy telenovella when we were as vanilla as could be for more than a decade. Then he projected his bizarre behaviors onto me and our kids. Always lying so made me paranoid. Lying about obtuse things then would find out why and it would always bite me and be so out of left field, like raising the deductible on RV then of course so.ethong expensive stolen and damaged so I go through ringer with insurance who did not inform me and he had no right to change it if I was supposed to be primary, etc... All calculated evil things I could never imagine or keep up with due to sheer exhaustion. He loved winning the evil game but I was never playing, never wanting to play!!! Accused me of putting daughter in softball just to mess with him and his visits thst he never did after about 5 months of him being MIA. Yeah like I anticipated he would want to come back and see her but softball would get in the way?! She needed sport and he told us he was abandoning us and we needed to move on so I did! He also monologued like a villain and would not look me in eye when speaking but over my shoulder sort of. I am like who are you looking at?? What is going on? Truman Show gaslighting tactic is what I called a number of the more kooky things. Also he would change his appearance to look like a character in a show when cheating or reinventing in plans to discard, but we took a while to figure it out that is what he was doing but then documented it and yet no one with any power or influence cared and no one thought hey maybe he should not be alone around small kids. He said he was unstable and bad for us and proved it then would say it was all a lie to trick me into leaving him ( as if that admission made him look better??) but now he wants custody and I am the bad parent because him blowing up our lives so unexpectedly caused me severe depression and PTSD after taking 3 years to rebuild everything after the last time he did it. Sorry your soap opera comment obviously hit home hard. Praying you heal quick and fully.
Thanks for this! ❤
Exactly.. You are right.. 100%keep up! 🙏❤️
Awesome lady, thank you so much, you are an amazing person.
On point..it was like you were telling my story..
Great video have sent it to someone Who needs it👏👏👏💜well done
Thank you. Helpful in picking up the pieces.
What do you think about the breakup with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard? I think she's definitely a covert sociopath
They do tell huge lies about how they left you , when it was the complete opposite . Truth will always come out in the end . You think other people gullible when they say ,.. I don’t understand why they finished with you 😄 .till you realise you were also fooled by them too ,and their distortion of the truth , for many years. Great actors 🙂.
You will be the abuser. If you left then you have abandoned them. I was told that the neighbours said i needed to "grow up" . These were people who didn't even know me at all !!! They will make other people believe it is you.
Great video! Thank you very much 🙏🏻 for your explanation and support of unterstanding!
Thank you so much. This video really helped me.
Thank you for what you do! I appreciate it. 😊🥰
Everyone told me he was weird. Just looking at him.
Spot on. Thx
Thanks for video
So true. 🤔🇬🇧
So true...
So true!!!
I wish I knew this before. He filmed me. Should I call the police?
So, if they have relationships with each other are these successful or a disaster?
Thank you🙏❤️
My last ex of 5 years was non empathetic how I did that for so many years....love.. thats how.. I remember that painful day we ended.. she actually asked me to pick up a cake for a birthday party the day we broke up. And I was obviously extremely frustrated and depressed that day.. not gonna lie I cried like a b*tch when I was by myself. and she actually called n asked me why i had an attitude. It was the most awkward confusing thing ever.
5 years as well my friend. Be strong. These people are fucking nuts. I cried as well. Damn straight I did. I didn't know wtf was happening to me. Smeared my name, showed no empathy and everything was my fault. Absolutely insane.
I was watching Iron Chef America one night, minding my own business. My ex called 911 saying I was suicidal. Ambulance came & had to take me to hospital b/c they were called. I was released 5 mins later. He now had a record of my 'instability'. Gob smacking.
Whoa
My ex was crazyyyyy after soo many break up and getting back together, my mom ended up calling the cops 👮♂️ on him without letting me know. Of course I would have begged her not to she told me not tell him that they are lookin for him, I agreed went to the bathroom and texted him everything. He got angry and called me all kinds of names. Thankfully I ended staying with my mom for a couple of days instead of going back to my house with my roommates because he broke into my room, took everything except my bed and left. He got arrested the same day with a Gun so I’m pretty sure that Gun was to kill me.
Its sounds like you think they should get a free pass to abuse for years causing extensive damage repeatedly and not be accountable for any of the damage that resulted from their negligence or downright costly stupidity. I don't agree with one person devouring another physically, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, emotionally.financially then spitting them out and move on to the next. Healthy relations should be uplifting, bring out the best in you, encourage, be trustworthy and honest. Anything that starts with a lie is destined to fail.
👏👏So Ture
Something was wrong with me but narc did use & choose to abuse & live with me & 3kids for 18 years & half.... normal people depart in honourable way in 2-3years...
Why didn't you leave then? Sorry for asking...
is a addictionship & relationshit of madness with narc...
Once they know you youre expired!
You are a wonderful Psychilogist and you really get it!❤️
Women leave with everything but the blame
Thing is......
Say the same things.
About them.
I have evidence I kept .!
Feels like they're vampires.
She can say whatever she wants
When he said everything was my fault, I actually agreed with him 😂
Only one way your Fault 🤠😜
Yes he talks really bad about his mother. She is a narcissist also but he has used her financially. Now he says she is a drug addict when in fact he was a crack user.
That apple didn't fall far from the tree.🍎
sixth sense amelia 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Twilight. Princesa. 🐦
My nars ex she don't belme me
❤️
Too much time on each point
You were an awful person lol. Or we have a great relationship still and are still friends (yea bc he tries to Hoover). Lol. I never gave them that pleasure