Every second you spend thinking about the next moment you avoid embracing the present. Ensure that your life is not spent living in your head. Learn new ways of moving past this situation www.askanoushka.co.uk/membership
So, to embrace the present learn this new way of moving past this present. 🤣 What is the sound of one hand clapping? [face-palm] Are you going to be here when you get back? Don't take off before you go. I am wiling to self-identify as a narcissist if you are, perhaps.
She left me, found someone new, he has a photo of them online, she doesn't. She saw me whilst being with him. She said she was happy, with someone new, then pretended there was no one new in their life. She doesn't reach out to me. What's that all about…? 6 weeks with no contact.
Exactly! They consider you not to be good enough for them anymore.. They're too involved with their other sources of supply who they deem to be better than you.. So yeah.. They don't give a rat's ass about you whether they see you or not.. They do not care AT ALL IF THEY SEE YOU
They still need fuel from you and to feel they control you. The new supply doesn't last long.. They never discard - they simply disengage. They put you on the shelf to use again in the future.
He's always trying to add me as a friend. Blocks me the unblock. I always troll his page and publicly humiliate him. He's got lots of supply but his arrogance makes him try to add me on Facebook. I've got control of the block on him now. And I've has enough. I feel I've got revenge. I can move on now . Actually he probably wants to kill me.
@@ellemorgan1331 I can only imagine...so sorry. Maybe, try treating ur relationship with the father like a business deal; working together for the good of ur child while maintaining detachment.
After the devaluation and no contact stage, they essentially want to befriend you, so that they can continue to obtain supply from you. Their goal is collecting people, sort of like collecting Pokemon cards.
Yup. Even saying let’s just be friends, we didn’t work as lovers. Even when your relationship was actually good with them and they were the only problem LOL
After zero contact with my narcissist girlfriend (and I mean a classic narcissist), she sent me an email after 15 months. She used the word love, expressed some weird ideas, and then the punch line...she needed something from me and asked if I would be OK with that. What she got in return was nothing but silence. And thats the way it is. When you see the whole scenario A to Z it really falls into place, and there is no hope for any relationship with a person like this. It is sad, and wish I knew all this before I invested 5 years loving her. It was love down the drain.
Same here bro, 5 yrs, but mine came back after 3 weeks trying to contact me in every way possible, the grass wasn't greener on the other side. It's funny that they kept us confused during the whole relationship but once we learn about their weak minds, it's more simple than we thought.
Exactly the same here, she sent me a song at 3 am, then showed up at my house anounist a few days later, I didn't handle it to good gave her a little to much oxygen I'm sure that pumped up her ego I'll handle it better next time 14 yrs what a waste
@@michaeljonas7604 When the narc is feeling strong and confident, they don't need you. And when they feel weak, insecure and vulnerable, well then all of sudden you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Its painful all the way around. Some how we must find a path forward without them. I go 100% no contact, its the only way.
Know how you feel because I had a friend that is gay, which I didn't care. We were texting and meeting at her house . Then in April of this year and she quit texting and calling. I called her up, and her response was: " Yeah, we have been thing of you but haven't pick up the phone." Excuse me? So I just blocked her from my phone and her partner. She wasn't a friend and either is yours. Block her and do not talk to her again, because she will keep doing this to you. And you're not her Yoyo❤.
They can't maintain,the four s,s, safety, sex, supply ,services. First to go is the sex because the can't maintain the intimacy for long,or the interest in the new supply for long. That's why their chasing a dream that will never happen, their looking for perfection.
The replies for this video are as good as the video if not better. It amazes me how we all experienced exactly the same thing. It still unsettles me that the person of my perception is not the person of reality. Sometimes the memory plays games and the reality disappears for a while. It is why I keep coming back to these videos. It gives me strength.
Oh he's going to be in for a jaw-dropping surprise I got a new car I paid cash for I've lost weight I've been working out I can't wait until the day I run into him. He took everything from me even my dignity and by the grace of God and videos like yours I started watching these after the breakup and had I known all this years ago,, can I could never understand I almost had to question myself is it me cuz I felt crazy like he got along with everybody except me and I get along with everyone I'm just an empath
No, dear. If he is truly a narcissist, you don't want his attention. He will act forelorn and "I've changed", but secretly seeing other supply. You need distance, healing. No contact.
Well done girl. A narc tried to destroy me. I was belittled, made to feel worse than trash. Then she died in a car crash. It too me about 20 years to realise what she really was. I went out of my way for her, but she just wouldn't stop destroying me. I would have crossed oceans for her, but she she could never see it. I got away. But it hurt so very much. I'm OK now. I'm an empath too. Enjoy, you deserve the 👌 May the Almighty always keep you and protect you.
God what's worse I'm not on here Facebook nothing and this just messed me up. She blocks me and I have to get me text me app. I can't seem to let go and it's real bad. Feel like I have done all this. She has flipped all on me. I wanted a life with her.
When actions saw you as invisible despite the deceptive regular request for your presence, return the favor. Reverse emotional indifference because its required in your evolved knowledge of a strange experience. The lust for control never ceases since they can't data mine your stability status. Give them nothing but a coincidental passing glimpse of unknown. The path of self care doesn't allow dark detours.
Yes! Everything that she says here is true. It’s been 10 years since I broke free from my narcissistic ex boyfriend and to this day hey finds ways to contact me. Even if he is married now. Even if he lives in another country. Even if I blocked him from every social media an from my phone. It’s amazing how we always finds a way. I’m happy to say that I’m strong enough to keep him out of my life.
The hardest part is the Ego, with a capital E. I'm still only 3 months from being thrown away like trash, and I realize 💯 that it's all about MY EGO. Why do we all obsess about these awful people even long after we realize without a shadow of a doubt what they really are? EGO. You got played. I got played. If we were 10 years old it would probably take less than a week to shrug someone off who treated us poorly, ESPECIALLY if we got away from them and didn't even see them anymore. I'm going to use the quote that my ex narc actually texted me the day after she discarded..."Get over yourself." The funny thing is, she was right. I need to get over my own bruised ego. "Well, I'm 45 years old, I've been around long enough. How could super intelligent me let someone like this into my life? Etc, etc, etc" Fool me once, shame on you. She's only gonna get the "once" from me. She's a pathetic loser. The pain has all been my poor, bruised little Ego.
Stay strong, brother from another mother. It's definitely that ego thing, but it becomes a hurt pride thing too...hold on...you're right. If dealing with these monsters again, there is temporary pain. No contact is the only way out! Unlike you, I've backslid on it. Even with boundaries, it doesn't feel too good to have a minor offense occur. Going NC for life now. Hope to get to your recovery level in a few months. Men and woman like you are an inspiration, a light at the end of the tunnel. Great work and thanks for setting a good example of WHAT MUST be done FOR GOOD!
@@AZDC99 we're all human. Backsliding is a part of it. You and I and anyone else that has had to experience this is worth much better treatment. But that realization starts inside each individual. We are here to help one another though, so we MUST be there for one another.
Oh so true, I'm highly emotional and spiritual. Empathetic!! Had two of these EVIL CREATURES IN MY LIFE . JUST REALIZED MY EGO GOT IN THE WAY--- DONE WITH ALL THAT NOW. THANK GOODNESS FOR ANOUSHKA-- SAVED ME🙏🙏🙏
If you have to have contact, make it brief and factual. Don't share a personal or emotional reaction to whatever they say or do. Be brief but polite, shrug and walk away.
Exact! I dump the covert after 12 years of abuse for 1 year and 8th month ago and got NC directly. Have not heard or seen any hoover of him since 18 of April this year when he call my phone 4 times at the same evening. Of course I didn't answer his calls but I could see that even if he is blocked. So I suppose he is lost of company for the moment and try to connect me again to see if he could hoover me in - but he can't! I'm to educated nowadays what a narcissist behavior looks at that is exactly as he are. He can not dupe me anymore and my life without him is far more better than ever since I left him I have already met him cause we live in the samt small town but I just get my way and I just ignore him
When I went no contact with a narcissist male friend who was a co worker, his initial response was to lure me back by giving me stupid little gifts he thought I would appreciate. After openly refusing those gifts, he ran a smear campaign. When I went no contact with an old love interest she pursued me to make amends and rekindle our broken relationship. After refusing to give her any attention, she left me alone. Regardless of the gender or the circumstances, leaving a narcissist deals them a huge blow to their egos.
I came across one video and this is the tenth one I’m watching today. Appreciate how well explained this is, and feels good to know that it’s not just how i feel and is actually a real thing.
I know for sure the narc’s reaction to me will be the second one. Based on my experience with this narcissist, I know they know it’s over and that there is absolutely no chance of getting back in. I do believe they have glimpses of good hearted people and all that you have taken during your time with them. I do believe they know the destruction and devastation they caused you and that you didn’t deserve it. I also believe the better of the person you are, the more it exposes that there’s something wrong with them. Because if it were not, they would be able to correct or change the behaviors that’s going to cause them to loose a perfectly good person. But due to the narcissism pushing truth and any form of accountability away, it’s like they are forced to make themselves hate you deeply and blame you for everything for eternity. And I believe when they know you are truly done and you think their the garbage and not yourself as they told you were, they are forced to hold their delusions and grandiose position that you were no good for them. Especially if they performed really really badly when you went no contact and you had to take extra precautionary measures against them. And I believe they do feel shamed but that the narcissism keeps those feelings at bay thus, no accountability....no shame/guilt and there the room is made for the justification of what they did to you and how they now view you. I believe the better you are to them, the worse it ends and the more they hate you. I feel this way based on my four decades of dealing with them. It seems like they know you were too good for them and your light irritates them and your knowledge threatens exposure. So for some of us....I think we are the number 2’s when it’s FINALLY finished especially when you left them. This is just my opinion based on my personal experiences. And like you said, it’s a good thing that means we’re finally done for good and have been released from their crazy web! Now what would be even better is that they would act as though we don’t exist. Meaning no more smearing, no more lying on us or gossiping about us. But it’s apart of their character so 50 yrs from now if they see you and they know they don’t stand a chance, they’ll be talking about you to other nursing home patients😆it never stops with them ever! Great message!
Well said. I was going to ask what do you mean by the number 2's but i read it five times and I think i figured it out. You're saying they have already moved on to a new supply. Got ya and most definitely not far off.
@Nikia Butler That makes complete sense. Do you believe this to be true even if they seen you were on to them, standing up to them, not chasing after them - and they discarded you. Then you put yourself as single deleted and blocked them when they were telling people they didn't really break up with you, they were putting you in your place. Then they realized you took yourself out of a relationship on FB and blocked them. War was on. I thought I had been discarded. Plus I felt like there was someone else for the first time in 7 years. And I was right. She became his next supply immediately. Meanwhile he has pure hatred towards me. Denies cheating, smeared my name, he's the victim. Now he moved in the next supply, and old supply.... I don't get it. I'm learning about him, but I still can't understand his venomous hatred towards me.
@@twinkiecrunch6344 everyone tells me this. They tell me he gave me the best gift ever, by discarding me. But, omg it feels like someone took a knife and put it in my heart and keeps twisting it. I feel totally isolated to protect myself from accussations of slandering him, and the complete embarrassment. Because everyone thinks he's wonderful and believes his lies about me. How do you move on past that?
I haven't seen the Narc for 16 years, but somehow I know if I did, he would be react like a petulant child in a supermarket does when refused a big bag of sweets!! Luckily I have learn to fix my boundaries with these video's over the years and I now know to treat him if he throws a tantrum. I will smile sweetly at him and walk away. xx
They have all manner of empathy for themselves. They have none for you in fact. But they will fake empathy if they're being observed by others and wish to retain their mask to save their own face. Then when alone with you the mask falls again.
Saw him today after over two years of absolutely no contact whatsoever. He was walking out of Tesco and I was walking in. We both saw each other, but I ignored him and he ignored me. He’s engaged with a girl 20 years his junior, with a baby. I doubt I’ll hear anything from him now. He won’t want to screw things up with her.
Best thing is to ignore, go no contact, grey rock, and/or give one word answers in a pleasant tone( if you have to deal with them). Basically, keeping as much physical AND/OR emotional distance from them as possible is the best thing. IF the supply you provided in the past was significant/meaningful/helpful to them, they are more likely to get crazy when you refuse to give it to them. Lol!
It's been two years for me and sadly I talked about everybody in our family as she asked. Mum finally asked about me and I gave her a hug despite how badly she treated me. In all of it, she showed no emotion no tears nothing. I got the feeling she hasn't changed, but in the end I'm the one along with my daughters who got hurt. I choose not to deal with her and I keep my youngest and eldest away from her too. My middle child sees things her way and we have had a lot of discussions about mum. I don't think she wants to believe her yiayia really is a narcissist and malignant at that. I didn't either, but too much has happened even, if I'm nice to mum nothing is going to change these people are very miserable, sad and unhappy people.
After 30 days NC I almost bumped into her in town. Luckily I heard someone calling my name, so I looked up and, without making eye contact or breaking stride, I turned left and carried on walking… historically she’s woken me up when I’ve been having a sugar crash in the car, demanded a hug etc., and I’ve caved - hence no contact means no contact!!
I don't think it is wise to do what is comfortable if you encounter a narcissist after no contact. They rely on other people doing what is comfortable. To engage with her/him is to be invalidated and used by the narcissist, so it seems the best thing to do is walk away.
I ran directly into my BPD ex after 3 weeks of no contact I initiated. We had been broken up for a bit prior, but kept communicating which I now know was harmful to me emotionally. She was already with someone new. It was a total shock and devastating. Up until that day, I was healing very well. That set me back to square one.
Good luck to you! You'll get back to your healing place, it just takes a little time. I just fell back a step myself - almost 8 months of no contact except for the occasional meetings with divorce lawyers, all requested by him. The "set back" for me was finding out my new manager at work is among his circle of flying monkeys. Had to quit the job I actually liked just because I feared for my safety as far as him knowing my work schedule, or trying to hang around there. I left him on the grounds of domestic violence, so I think my concerns are legitimate, but my family I feel thinks it was a bit of a knee jerk reaction, especially with Christmas around the corner and all. Oh well... they haven't been through what I've been through. Sorry to ramble! Hope you are doing better and never quit or give up on yourself! 😉👍
I know I’m posting on something 11 months old. 😁 But I’m just seeing this . I’ve been away from my ex almost 2 years after a 26 year marriage. When I told him it was over (which was of course orchestrated secretly by his disconnect) I didn’t know about Narcissism for real. So I, too, made mistakes like continuing to communicate with him, thinking that after that long we would always be friends. Lol… so when the NS was on the scene so soon, I went right back to square one as to being crushed! But this caused the real work to begin. I worked with an online divorce coach and I did the hard retrospective work to heal. This work only solidified my relationship with Father God and taught me a FAITH and a love for God and self that I never would’ve NEVER had in that rollercoaster of toxicity. It’s a putrid cauldron of fake smiles and promises. But I’ve coined a phrase: “healing high”. The healing high we get when we KNOW we are healed and FREE 🙌🏽🥳🎶💃🏻🎉
I hear you! She won’t understand my perspective she won’t allow me to speak my emotions and when I do I get belittled and mocked .. she has blocked me on social media blocked her number have said our goodbyes through video chat via Instagram then blocks me .. calls me hours later to officially say goodbye next day calls me again ! Crying to me how she can’t lay her rent how I was always there for her how she loves me and has confessed that they have lied to me . Since that I have not contacted her back after 16 missed calls and non stop messages and verbally attacking me . I can’t wait to move on !
No contact is great! Right now it’s getting back to my self I did the final discard but he attacked and beat me up because I told him I was filling for divorce I should have been more easy about this but I was fed up with supporting him whilst I finally figured out he wasn’t working his steps! However, best thing for me went no contact he definitely tried pursuing me even though I had restraining orders m didn’t stop him, made sure I had resources and neighbors whom knew what’s up! Divorced, moved to different state he still stalked and harassed made police reports got security and cameras it’s stopped! I believe he’s got new source hopefully he’s moved on I have! These are nasty characters! Don’t give them the time of day they want to see you in court, I decided to not pursue another restraining orders in new state as such. Hopefully he’s moved on I’m praying!
I went thru hell and was absolutely smeared.... but I know this goes to another level you are talking about. I dont know if I could have lived with worse than I had... and I know there is much worse especially with children involved. My heart goes out to you all! Thank God I didnt deal with obsessive coming back personalities ... I had 4, and they all seem like nicer people now. I dont give them my time anymore though, but I'm kind to them. I will never give them control to hurt me again. Crazy... I got into astrology after 30 years of being so emotionally abused... it makes me think this is a big school with tests. I did this 4 times. 4 different men with different faces.... but all had the same behaviors 🥴 I'm broken... but I'm ok. I'm not in agony anymore but I'm cold as ice. I can't even imagine loving a man again. I have learned my lessons for sure. All 4 have come back including those who I thought were friends who also betrayed me. I am friendly but give nothing anymore. I'm exhausted from this life. Just working, & enjoying a simple life, loving my dog.💥
It is a challenge to co-parent with these people. You have to learn about and then heal yourself. You have to bring your A game for the sake of the children. It is by no means easy to overcome...It is exhausting.
What I don't understand how narcissists can on the one hand discard you so easily and they're over you the minute it's over (often with a new supply lined up) and the months- or yearlong obsession with you on the other? Happened to me, I was discarded and 7 months later, my every social media move is still being watched. Doesn't make sense to me??
I broke it off with the narc. I intentionally wounded him to ensure that he never makes contact with me again. He smeared me to others and immediately moved on to new supply. He burned his own bridge. 💕 Life is so peaceful with out him. 😇
Btw I had to pause ur video not because it wasn’t good but rather how genuine and the way u communicate I can tell when I’m doing other things I can stay focus on your voice.. Thank you 🙏🏼 so much for not over editing it, I can tell you put a lot of work in it so again thank you for being steady it’s an awesome transition what u do you don’t speak too quickly but you give examples but u get on with it and your clear and when you edit I can ALMOST 😅 not tell your awesome thank you again and have a wonderful weekend!
It's been over a year of no contact for me but if i ever see my ex narcissist, I'm gonna say "You know it's a tragedy, I really loved you man but that was before i knew you were a soul sucking narc!"
We all have wanted to do/say that, but the truth is that you’ll just give them the satisfaction of having the last laugh, because they’ll know they still got to you enough to have said that to them. It’s also a form of supply for them if you think about it. Overall, they’ll think they won. Silence. Cold, hard silence- no matter what. Be the one that got away!
Yeah, don't say that. Calling them out NEVER works, you're only giving them attention (i.e. supply) which is exactly what they want. The very best thing you can do is completely ignore them. Literally carry on about your day like you never even saw them. If you happen to be with someone else at the time, all the better. If you're forced to interact, try to stay completely calm and relaxed, and minimise your interaction. Just "yeah I'm fine. Little busy at the moment though, can you leave me to it please? Thanks" then smile and turn your back.
@@surfshack2 I told my ex, if God wanted to give me the world and all of its riches to be him, I would respectfully decline. I told him that he was the most repugnant, disgusting, hateful, selfish, meanest, and the ugliest person I have ever experienced in my life. I then gave him the silent treatment for 3 months. He is not so arrogant anymore. He is trying to get back with me. I told him, he is a stranger and I am not interested.
I’m still in hiding I moved to another state to get away from her before I left she knocked to teeth out my mouth scared if I go back home that she will hunt me down and hurt me
Yes, so there is a dynamic here that was left undiscussed. My narcissist (whom I cut off with immediacy and COMPLETE no contact) KNOWS that I caught on to her, shes well aware of her ways, and she is now very very well aware that I no longer allow myself to be trifled with. I believe its a combination of two reasons. First, she knows I know her game, and second..Id like to think she is able to understand that how she treats people is wrong (but the jur is still out on that one, lol) Therefore, she leaves me utterly alone (a blessing) save for making it a point of hers to "show up" at restaurants / places that I used to take her to (that she previously never frequented before me) with OTHER MEN. I've done my homework, so I clearly understand that this activity is straigt out of the narcissist playbook--that of attempting to create a sense of jealousy or (any other) form of "supply" that they so desperately require. I have remained nonplussed throughout and simply move along wherever she "shows up". Remember one thing as you make your choices on how to interact: THE LEVEL OF DISRESPECT AND CONTEMPT THAT THEY DISPLAYED TOWARDS YOU BEFORE YOU SUSSED THEM OUT. Remembering those horrible details should be helpful as you navigate your interaction following your no contact period. THEY ARE TOTALLY TOXIC AND NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME TO YOU WITH A NARCISSIST. DO NOT LET THE NARCISSIST CONTINUE TO MANIPULATE / TOY WITH YOUR SENSE OF SELF-WORTH AND VULNERABILITY. These things should be sacred to you. Unfortunately I believe narcissists are lost causes...Good Luck....
God bless U Anouska✌️ test hoover after 8 months of goshting.She has alot of nerve.These people can casually move on after destroying household finances and unfaithfulness very sick individuals more men need to speak up 🧐
He discarded me and then tried to be “friends” immediately after. I said no and went no-contact. About 4 months later he showed up where I work and spend most of my time (I’m a freelance skateboard coach that typically teaches and trains at the same place). He was with a girl I know that babysits a kid at my local skatepark and he tried to act like we were friends running into each other. I said a neutral hi and mostly ignored him. Now the girl is pregnant. The news infuriated and hurt me since he had told me at the discard that he was essentially going celibate/following god. I confronted him about his hypocrisy and ask him to stay away from me. I told him I would expose his craziness to my friends if he didn’t. Of course, he flipped. And now when we are in the same space I avoid eye contact but notice him staring at me on my periphery… so rude 🤮
In the US here, I have been so nervous about this. It’s been almost a year, and I have wondered how I would handle this/she would handle it. Thank you!!
Even if the narcissist discards you, they will be stalking you,just like in my case where the ex cyberstalked my social media. I had to actually block.
It's been 10 years since they last try to hoover. It is a situation that should never have happened and one I tried to escape after just two days but the cycle went on and off for nearly 2 years before I changed the way I reacted to the hoover, which I didn't know at the time. They did indeed stalk me and turn up coincidentally on my way to work but I always averted my eyes and visibly recoiled at his presence. I've had the out of the blue email 3 years later with the usual love bombing, declarations of love etc, fauxpology for the way they treated me. I ignored it all. So, they can still be back even if I showed no interest or reaction?
I saw my narc ex at the bar the other night after not seeing them since the summer of 2020. I didn't realize it was them until they left; I'd noticed someone watching me from the corner.. I'm guessing the alcohol allowed the mask to slip... because they seemed pretty crushed...they kept to themselves. As went to leave they tried to be tough and made a point to say something nonchalant...and I recognized the voice and I turned around and they left with their head hung low. I'm bracing for a phone call or text in coming weeks. I've healed and I was having a blast all by myself that night. It doesn't feel good to see them hurt. I understand the psychology and it sucks to watch someone you cared about destroy themselves tbh.
Got about an hour left before we speak after no contact and trying to get myself in a solid strong place so thankyou for this video, time will tell if he is or was indeed in a bad place and needed to heal , wish I didn't care but sadly I do 😐🙏
When she asked me what she meant for me. I replied saying that i would reciprocate in the same amount what I was getting. 4 years relationship, 3 months in to this no contact thing. It's getting hard, this stage is really hard! Sometimes I find myself planning "random" encounters, just to have some closure. But deep down i just want to humiliate her, expose her for what she is! She has her flying monkeys having a go at me, social media subtle messages, no direct contact because I've tried the no contact aproach before but I wasn't researching narcissism so i gave her the supply that she needed at the time. I might be missing some big things... I don't know, I'm not in the right mental state now. Thanks
I went no contact with my parents (narcissistic mother and her flying monkey of a husband) 5 years ago. I lost a good friend earlier this year and my mother turned up at her funeral just to talk to me. I employed the grey rock technique and my sister stood up to her as we were amongst a groups of friends and we knew exactly what she was trying to do. About a month later, my grandmother passed away. I received an email from the flying monkey telling me that if I wanted to know the details of the funeral then I was to contact him. The next night as I was reading to my daughter, he phoned and left a message to TELL me the funeral details. I did not attend the funeral. I have blocked phone calls and emails and hopefully this will be the last of the contact. I moved recently and they don't know which is just the way I would like.
My Ex is silently stalking me. I get phone calls, a long silence (15 secs or so), then a hang-up. It happened a lot at first when I blocked him, but now it happens at key dates. It’s always a local number (friend, colleague, family phones due to blocking his). Once, he slipped up, and when I called back, it went to his daughter’s voicemail. I’m sure that he has slandered me and presents himself as a victim (he does this with every aspect of his life that is challenging).
Same here 15sec then she hangs up. She also phones my ex and pulls the same stunt maybe that one is for triangulation. Don't respond or say hello 10 times be calm
After 16 yrs of marriage, he can just ignore me as if i am a stranger and never knew me before.Very proud to show off his new supply who is his new wife.
I failed Anoushaka 😞 I broke NC he convinced me he wants to see his mom after 20 years and since I go to church I think ppl change I'm beginning to think I did this to get me in control I care about his mom very much I have to go no contact with his mom too right
The great thing of walking away from a narc is all non-narcs are so much better to have you in your life. Which narc ? Cant hardly remember him. Just a difficult person I shortly was with. WALK AWAY from anybody who doesnt cherish you.
I’ve been afraid of the ambush. But I’m as fit and healthy as ever while we dated I lost weight and she gained it, I took consistent actions to get healthier while she didn’t do anything and approaching menopause, she just gained weight, a Buffalo hump, double chin, and a bad attitude. 🤣 I’ll be prayed up, healthy diet under my belt, lean, fit and happy. The best she can do is wear a mask.
Ive seen him and his new supply and they looked happy. It hit me hard and my heart was hurting, so i breathed through it. Oh, how i know, how this turns out for her. I just wonder, how long she'll endure this treatment and how long it'll take for him to find someone new.
He put his hands on me, so I dont think he will try to do anything i.e. hoover, come back, contact. What I do know is I wassssss the best thing ever came his way, and I know for sure he miss me becz I did more for him than any1 he ever had per him, and his whole family.
I can’t genuinely tell if she was the narcissist or it was me, she breakup with me, sometimes as Anoushka describes the behavior of the narcissistic during no contact a lot of things resonate with me 🙄
@@fainitesbarley2245 ahah thank you 🤣 but I did not run, there have been challenges because this toxic person wanted to destroy us of course...but in the end we worked it out😉
So much of this content is always for partners of narcissists. That's not a bad thing, just the dynamic is totally different to a parent/child relationship. My mother was an ignoring narcissistic mother. Of course she takes the second choice. She never wanted a child, and she didn't love me. She spent large parts of my life actively hating me. It's hurt me so much I can't say. A person can't live as someone else's regret. Sometimes I feel glad that she never bothered when I left. Most times. But every now and again I know that she's hurt me in all the ways she can, and that includes not being bothered. She still thinks she's punishing me. Mostly now for her, I just feel... nothing.
I happend to be at a dog park this past season and had a guy try to sweep me and I realized he was a covert I did tell him where I work but never gave him my phone number I hope I never come across hum again. It has been 3 months since I seen him
Yep that worked for a while and then he broke it off and has completely gone silent for over a month now and I don’t suspect he’s ever going to be back… So yeah
Well mine will go quiet. Then suddenly call me 4-6x in one day. He wanted to spend the weekend at my house. Hmm years ago when you asked him. He says no.. yes he does always remind me of the good times. How much fun we had. Yes all jerks always come back. Give them two weeks. So now the next day. He will be quiet. He even asked me to go away with him. Mini vacation. They miss you for what he enjoys getting from you. One time he even said, I was looking for you to call me this weekend. Really? Why? Trying to suck you back in. I'm gonna block him. I don't care anymore. I'm happier alone. I have my son with me.
It helps when you have PTSD & are numb to their insults 🥴 it just doesn’t hurt anymore & I know what’s bs & hurtful crap meant to hurt me & I don’t even care anymore. I know the truth & that’s all that matters.
I have been divorced for 2 1/2 yrs. mine went no contact and has never wanted to see me to talk to me. not even our 18 yr old son. he blocked me out of every aspect of his life and hides about where he lives from our son. I feel like he treats me like I am the narcissist . Am I since he did opposite of everything ? I have never bothered him since our divorce not once.
Even if I have children with narc, I keep no contact, I don't care what he threatens I don't care what he will do... I just keep no contact for my children and no contact for me. PERIOD.... COUSE I HAD ENOUGH.... ✌️✌️✌️🎊🎊🎊
I'm not sure why this video popped up on my front page but it did. I'm relieved and very unconcerned about my ex. You're right, they're extremely self conscious and they'll try and convince you that you are the insecure one. Lol
What happens if you see the narcissist after the final discard ? I mean, what happens if you see the narcissist if they are the one who broke it off ? This is an important consideration I believe & would love some clarification on this aspect. If anyone can shed some light on this , I’d be super grateful ... thank you in advance x
Mine ran into me talking to a friend, and had the nerves to say "Hi Tee Lee" in passing, with an "I played you, but we're still cool, right" cold friendly expression! Wierd!!! I ignored Narco, that's when the hoovering started back up. All 3 attempts turned out to be a waste of Narc's time! 4 yrs of hell and one year seperated, Narc's last unsuccessful hoover attempt was 4 mos ago! 🙌
He will try to take more. He has no shame about taking. His only regret is he should have taken more! Love bomb, devalue, discard to justify the crime. She failed as a dufus! It takes two to Tango and only one to ruin the dance!
Been over 5 years and they are destuctive especially holidays but still ignoring them no matter what did contact police now calls stopped and the destuctive behavior is gone for now but they can't help themselves they will do something childish soon Valentine's day is coming so buckle up and keep safe cause they are lurking ready to kil you with their new supply flying apes just a mess we need a law for these creatures amen 🙏🏿🙏🙏🏿🙏🙏thank you Queen
i saw my narc brother in a supermarket, so loitered until he had left, when i got to the checkout, there was £20 on the floor haha, so, thanks for that!
Every second you spend thinking about the next moment you avoid embracing the present. Ensure that your life is not spent living in your head. Learn new ways of moving past this situation www.askanoushka.co.uk/membership
So, to embrace the present learn this new way of moving past this present. 🤣 What is the sound of one hand clapping? [face-palm] Are you going to be here when you get back? Don't take off before you go. I am wiling to self-identify as a narcissist if you are, perhaps.
Excellent video thank you so very much
She left me, found someone new, he has a photo of them online, she doesn't. She saw me whilst being with him. She said she was happy, with someone new, then pretended there was no one new in their life. She doesn't reach out to me. What's that all about…? 6 weeks with no contact.
God bless you for your channel.
After the narcissist has devalued, denigrated, dumped you, triumphed and found new supply, they couldn't care less about "no contact". Remember that
Yes but nc is for us to heal..you do the same..forget them heal yourself
Exactly! They consider you not to be good enough for them anymore.. They're too involved with their other sources of supply who they deem to be better than you.. So yeah.. They don't give a rat's ass about you whether they see you or not.. They do not care AT ALL IF THEY SEE YOU
They still need fuel from you and to feel they control you. The new supply doesn't last long..
They never discard - they simply disengage. They put you on the shelf to use again in the future.
You never meant anything to them. Remember that. You are just supply.
He's always trying to add me as a friend. Blocks me the unblock. I always troll his page and publicly humiliate him. He's got lots of supply but his arrogance makes him try to add me on Facebook. I've got control of the block on him now. And I've has enough. I feel I've got revenge. I can move on now . Actually he probably wants to kill me.
Hoping I'll never c the narcissist ever again!
@@ellemorgan1331 I can only imagine...so sorry. Maybe, try treating ur relationship with the father like a business deal; working together for the good of ur child while maintaining detachment.
Arwen Hardy you will an you will least expect this
Me to.
Ditto! Mine thinks he's moving to Alaska... sorry to dump my garbage on your doorstep Alaska! Maybe, could you line up a grizzly bear "incident"?!🤔🤣🤔🤣
After the devaluation and no contact stage, they essentially want to befriend you, so that they can continue to obtain supply from you. Their goal is collecting people, sort of like collecting Pokemon cards.
Yup. Even saying let’s just be friends, we didn’t work as lovers. Even when your relationship was actually good with them and they were the only problem LOL
After zero contact with my narcissist girlfriend (and I mean a classic narcissist), she sent me an email after 15 months. She used the word love, expressed some weird ideas, and then the punch line...she needed something from me and asked if I would be OK with that. What she got in return was nothing but silence. And thats the way it is. When you see the whole scenario A to Z it really falls into place, and there is no hope for any relationship with a person like this. It is sad, and wish I knew all this before I invested 5 years loving her. It was love down the drain.
Same here bro, 5 yrs, but mine came back after 3 weeks trying to contact me in every way possible, the grass wasn't greener on the other side. It's funny that they kept us confused during the whole relationship but once we learn about their weak minds, it's more simple than we thought.
Exactly the same here, she sent me a song at 3 am, then showed up at my house anounist a few days later, I didn't handle it to good gave her a little to much oxygen I'm sure that pumped up her ego I'll handle it better next time 14 yrs what a waste
@@michaeljonas7604 When the narc is feeling strong and confident, they don't need you. And when they feel weak, insecure and vulnerable, well then all of sudden you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Its painful all the way around. Some how we must find a path forward without them. I go 100% no contact, its the only way.
Same here. 14 years +. She found a new supply.
Know how you feel because I had a friend that is gay, which I didn't care.
We were texting and meeting at her house .
Then in April of this year and she quit texting and calling.
I called her up, and her response was: " Yeah, we have been thing of you but haven't pick up the phone." Excuse me?
So I just blocked her from my phone and her partner.
She wasn't a friend and either is yours.
Block her and do not talk to her again, because she will keep doing this to you.
And you're not her Yoyo❤.
Sex, services, or supply...that is all we were. Hold fast & chose love, grow & learn. Good luck on your adventures. Know your/you're love.
They can't maintain,the four s,s, safety, sex, supply ,services.
First to go is the sex because the can't maintain the intimacy for long,or the interest in the new supply for long.
That's why their chasing a dream that will never happen, their looking for perfection.
She was always trying to prove how in-control and director she is, and I was always on probation. She never promoted me to human being.
The replies for this video are as good as the video if not better. It amazes me how we all experienced exactly the same thing. It still unsettles me that the person of my perception is not the person of reality. Sometimes the memory plays games and the reality disappears for a while. It is why I keep coming back to these videos. It gives me strength.
Oh he's going to be in for a jaw-dropping surprise I got a new car I paid cash for I've lost weight I've been working out I can't wait until the day I run into him. He took everything from me even my dignity and by the grace of God and videos like yours I started watching these after the breakup and had I known all this years ago,, can I could never understand I almost had to question myself is it me cuz I felt crazy like he got along with everybody except me and I get along with everyone I'm just an empath
No, dear. If he is truly a narcissist, you don't want his attention. He will act forelorn and "I've changed", but secretly seeing other supply. You need distance, healing. No contact.
Well done girl. A narc tried to destroy me. I was belittled, made to feel worse than trash. Then she died in a car crash. It too me about 20 years to realise what she really was. I went out of my way for her, but she just wouldn't stop destroying me. I would have crossed oceans for her, but she she could never see it. I got away. But it hurt so very much. I'm OK now. I'm an empath too.
Enjoy, you deserve the 👌
May the Almighty always keep you and protect you.
No such thing as an empath; sound more like a vulnerable narcissist.
Yayyyyy !!! 🥳❤❤
@@VoxLesPaul it's healthy to want to see them seethe.
Trust me they think they know me but they don't know me.
Yeah I agree lol my Ex tried to read me like a book, but she was way off lmao
The same for me !!! 😊😊
When you don't care anymore what they are thinking
Or what they are doing
And are too busy working on rebuilding your own life
This means the most to me!!
🙌
Man....I don’t even have words. The experience is very true and very real. This was explained very well.
God what's worse I'm not on here Facebook nothing and this just messed me up. She blocks me and I have to get me text me app. I can't seem to let go and it's real bad. Feel like I have done all this. She has flipped all on me. I wanted a life with her.
@@christyczarneski7763 Hey Chris. How do you feel today after a year? Did you came to a point of silence of her in your head?
Not when they know you KNOW who they are. Not when you disengage your energy. They leave forever 💝🎁
When actions saw you as invisible despite the deceptive regular request for your presence, return the favor. Reverse emotional indifference because its required in your evolved knowledge of a strange experience. The lust for control never ceases since they can't data mine your stability status. Give them nothing but a coincidental passing glimpse of unknown. The path of self care doesn't allow dark detours.
Just go no contact with a narcissist for at least one week and boom they have a brand new supply
True
They already had the new supply on the side. They were overlapping you and the new supply.
I like u I m alone 😍❤
If they can recruit one..
Yes! Everything that she says here is true. It’s been 10 years since I broke free from my narcissistic ex boyfriend and to this day hey finds ways to contact me. Even if he is married now. Even if he lives in another country. Even if I blocked him from every social media an from my phone. It’s amazing how we always finds a way. I’m happy to say that I’m strong enough to keep him out of my life.
Block him period.❤😂
The hardest part is the Ego, with a capital E. I'm still only 3 months from being thrown away like trash, and I realize 💯 that it's all about MY EGO. Why do we all obsess about these awful people even long after we realize without a shadow of a doubt what they really are? EGO.
You got played. I got played. If we were 10 years old it would probably take less than a week to shrug someone off who treated us poorly, ESPECIALLY if we got away from them and didn't even see them anymore. I'm going to use the quote that my ex narc actually texted me the day after she discarded..."Get over yourself."
The funny thing is, she was right. I need to get over my own bruised ego. "Well, I'm 45 years old, I've been around long enough. How could super intelligent me let someone like this into my life? Etc, etc, etc"
Fool me once, shame on you.
She's only gonna get the "once" from me. She's a pathetic loser. The pain has all been my poor, bruised little Ego.
Do they all use the same vocabulary? Mine said that too. Or deal with it lol
Stay strong, brother from another mother. It's definitely that ego thing, but it becomes a hurt pride thing too...hold on...you're right. If dealing with these monsters again, there is temporary pain. No contact is the only way out!
Unlike you, I've backslid on it. Even with boundaries, it doesn't feel too good to have a minor offense occur. Going NC for life now. Hope to get to your recovery level in a few months.
Men and woman like you are an inspiration, a light at the end of the tunnel. Great work and thanks for setting a good example of WHAT MUST be done FOR GOOD!
@@AZDC99 we're all human. Backsliding is a part of it. You and I and anyone else that has had to experience this is worth much better treatment. But that realization starts inside each individual. We are here to help one another though, so we MUST be there for one another.
Very honest and true 👍 thank you for a wonderful self assessment
Oh so true, I'm highly emotional and spiritual. Empathetic!!
Had two of these EVIL CREATURES IN MY LIFE .
JUST REALIZED MY EGO GOT IN THE WAY--- DONE WITH ALL THAT NOW. THANK GOODNESS FOR ANOUSHKA-- SAVED ME🙏🙏🙏
No responses and find excuses to walk away
If you have to have contact, make it brief and factual. Don't share a personal or emotional reaction to whatever they say or do. Be brief but polite, shrug and walk away.
Exact! I dump the covert after 12 years of abuse for 1 year and 8th month ago and got NC directly. Have not heard or seen any hoover of him since 18 of April this year when he call my phone 4 times at the same evening. Of course I didn't answer his calls but I could see that even if he is blocked. So I suppose he is lost of company for the moment and try to connect me again to see if he could hoover me in - but he can't!
I'm to educated nowadays what a narcissist behavior looks at that is exactly as he are. He can not dupe me anymore and my life without him is far more better than ever since I left him
I have already met him cause we live in the samt small town but I just get my way and I just ignore him
And forgive yourself and him the doors of healing the. Broken heart will open🌹
When I went no contact with a narcissist male friend who was a co worker, his initial response was to lure me back by giving me stupid little gifts he thought I would appreciate. After openly refusing those gifts, he ran a smear campaign. When I went no contact with an old love interest she pursued me to make amends and rekindle our broken relationship. After refusing to give her any attention, she left me alone. Regardless of the gender or the circumstances, leaving a narcissist deals them a huge blow to their egos.
Walk away and stay no contact
Everything your saying is so true omg the love bumming. I must say I was falling for it and had to remember all the pain.
I came across one video and this is the tenth one I’m watching today. Appreciate how well explained this is, and feels good to know that it’s not just how i feel and is actually a real thing.
Hi 👧👧😍😍❤❤🌷🌷🌷
I know for sure the narc’s reaction to me will be the second one. Based on my experience with this narcissist, I know they know it’s over and that there is absolutely no chance of getting back in. I do believe they have glimpses of good hearted people and all that you have taken during your time with them. I do believe they know the destruction and devastation they caused you and that you didn’t deserve it. I also believe the better of the person you are, the more it exposes that there’s something wrong with them. Because if it were not, they would be able to correct or change the behaviors that’s going to cause them to loose a perfectly good person. But due to the narcissism pushing truth and any form of accountability away, it’s like they are forced to make themselves hate you deeply and blame you for everything for eternity. And I believe when they know you are truly done and you think their the garbage and not yourself as they told you were, they are forced to hold their delusions and grandiose position that you were no good for them. Especially if they performed really really badly when you went no contact and you had to take extra precautionary measures against them. And I believe they do feel shamed but that the narcissism keeps those feelings at bay thus, no accountability....no shame/guilt and there the room is made for the justification of what they did to you and how they now view you. I believe the better you are to them, the worse it ends and the more they hate you. I feel this way based on my four decades of dealing with them. It seems like they know you were too good for them and your light irritates them and your knowledge threatens exposure. So for some of us....I think we are the number 2’s when it’s FINALLY finished especially when you left them. This is just my opinion based on my personal experiences. And like you said, it’s a good thing that means we’re finally done for good and have been released from their crazy web! Now what would be even better is that they would act as though we don’t exist. Meaning no more smearing, no more lying on us or gossiping about us. But it’s apart of their character so 50 yrs from now if they see you and they know they don’t stand a chance, they’ll be talking about you to other nursing home patients😆it never stops with them ever! Great message!
Well said. I was going to ask what do you mean by the number 2's but i read it five times and I think i figured it out. You're saying they have already moved on to a new supply. Got ya and most definitely not far off.
@Nikia Butler That makes complete sense. Do you believe this to be true even if they seen you were on to them, standing up to them, not chasing after them - and they discarded you. Then you put yourself as single deleted and blocked them when they were telling people they didn't really break up with you, they were putting you in your place. Then they realized you took yourself out of a relationship on FB and blocked them. War was on. I thought I had been discarded. Plus I felt like there was someone else for the first time in 7 years. And I was right. She became his next supply immediately. Meanwhile he has pure hatred towards me. Denies cheating, smeared my name, he's the victim. Now he moved in the next supply, and old supply.... I don't get it. I'm learning about him, but I still can't understand his venomous hatred towards me.
😌 "EXCELLENT" SYNOPSIS!!!
@@shinebright9490 His hatred is because you saw thru him. You unmasked the narcissist first. Blessings to you Hun, you're free!
@@twinkiecrunch6344 everyone tells me this. They tell me he gave me the best gift ever, by discarding me. But, omg it feels like someone took a knife and put it in my heart and keeps twisting it. I feel totally isolated to protect myself from accussations of slandering him, and the complete embarrassment. Because everyone thinks he's wonderful and believes his lies about me. How do you move on past that?
I haven't seen the Narc for 16 years, but somehow I know if I did, he would be react like a petulant child in a supermarket does when refused a big bag of sweets!! Luckily I have learn to fix my boundaries with these video's over the years and I now know to treat him if he throws a tantrum. I will smile sweetly at him and walk away. xx
They don’t miss you AT ALL
If they could miss you they have empathy therefore it’s not a narcissist
They have all manner of empathy for themselves.
They have none for you in fact.
But they will fake empathy if they're being observed by others and wish to retain their mask to save their own face.
Then when alone with you the mask falls again.
They miss what you provided - Grade A supply.
Thank you ...nice to hear you this morning in Australia.
Thank you so very much! This was very helpful as I am struggling with no contact!
Saw him today after over two years of absolutely no contact whatsoever. He was walking out of Tesco and I was walking in. We both saw each other, but I ignored him and he ignored me. He’s engaged with a girl 20 years his junior, with a baby. I doubt I’ll hear anything from him now. He won’t want to screw things up with her.
Best thing is to ignore, go no contact, grey rock, and/or give one word answers in a pleasant tone( if you have to deal with them). Basically, keeping as much physical AND/OR emotional distance from them as possible is the best thing. IF the supply you provided in the past was significant/meaningful/helpful to them, they are more likely to get crazy when you refuse to give it to them. Lol!
Thank you sough for your valuable inputs and nice offer to send our question online. It us very nice of you! Blessings!💕
It's been two years for me and sadly I talked about everybody in our family as she asked. Mum finally asked about me and I gave her a hug despite how badly she treated me. In all of it, she showed no emotion no tears nothing. I got the feeling she hasn't changed, but in the end I'm the one along with my daughters who got hurt. I choose not to deal with her and I keep my youngest and eldest away from her too. My middle child sees things her way and we have had a lot of discussions about mum. I don't think she wants to believe her yiayia really is a narcissist and malignant at that. I didn't either, but too much has happened even, if I'm nice to mum nothing is going to change these people are very miserable, sad and unhappy people.
Mines my daughter I feel your pain
Hi ❤❤
I learn new stuff from you more than many others, thank you
you are awesome! You are really helping me. I can see with my wife it will never get any better. I have to leave her and heal myself.
Omg .. I’m living this right now
Luanne Holmes,You are beautiful 🌹🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
After 30 days NC I almost bumped into her in town. Luckily I heard someone calling my name, so I looked up and, without making eye contact or breaking stride, I turned left and carried on walking… historically she’s woken me up when I’ve been having a sugar crash in the car, demanded a hug etc., and I’ve caved - hence no contact means no contact!!
Why did the narcissist cross the road? They thought it was a boundary 😮
I don't think it is wise to do what is comfortable if you encounter a narcissist after no contact. They rely on other people doing what is comfortable. To engage with her/him is to be invalidated and used by the narcissist, so it seems the best thing to do is walk away.
I ran directly into my BPD ex after 3 weeks of no contact I initiated. We had been broken up for a bit prior, but kept communicating which I now know was harmful to me emotionally. She was already with someone new. It was a total shock and devastating. Up until that day, I was healing very well. That set me back to square one.
Good luck to you! You'll get back to your healing place, it just takes a little time. I just fell back a step myself - almost 8 months of no contact except for the occasional meetings with divorce lawyers, all requested by him. The "set back" for me was finding out my new manager at work is among his circle of flying monkeys. Had to quit the job I actually liked just because I feared for my safety as far as him knowing my work schedule, or trying to hang around there. I left him on the grounds of domestic violence, so I think my concerns are legitimate, but my family I feel thinks it was a bit of a knee jerk reaction, especially with Christmas around the corner and all. Oh well... they haven't been through what I've been through. Sorry to ramble! Hope you are doing better and never quit or give up on yourself! 😉👍
I know I’m posting on something 11 months old. 😁 But I’m just seeing this
. I’ve been away from my ex almost 2 years after a 26 year marriage. When I told him it was over (which was of course orchestrated secretly by his disconnect) I didn’t know about Narcissism for real. So I, too, made mistakes like continuing to communicate with him, thinking that after that long we would always be friends. Lol… so when the NS was on the scene so soon, I went right back to square one as to being crushed! But this caused the real work to begin. I worked with an online divorce coach and I did the hard retrospective work to heal. This work only solidified my relationship with Father God and taught me a FAITH and a love for God and self that I never would’ve NEVER had in that rollercoaster of toxicity. It’s a putrid cauldron of fake smiles and promises.
But I’ve coined a phrase: “healing high”. The healing high we get when we KNOW we are healed and FREE 🙌🏽🥳🎶💃🏻🎉
I hear you! She won’t understand my perspective she won’t allow me to speak my emotions and when I do I get belittled and mocked .. she has blocked me on social media blocked her number have said our goodbyes through video chat via Instagram then blocks me .. calls me hours later to officially say goodbye next day calls me again ! Crying to me how she can’t lay her rent how I was always there for her how she loves me and has confessed that they have lied to me . Since that I have not contacted her back after 16 missed calls and non stop messages and verbally attacking me . I can’t wait to move on !
No contact is great! Right now it’s getting back to my self I did the final discard but he attacked and beat me up because I told him I was filling for divorce I should have been more easy about this but I was fed up with supporting him whilst I finally figured out he wasn’t working his steps! However, best thing for me went no contact he definitely tried pursuing me even though I had restraining orders m didn’t stop him, made sure I had resources and neighbors whom knew what’s up! Divorced, moved to different state he still stalked and harassed made police reports got security and cameras it’s stopped! I believe he’s got new source hopefully he’s moved on I have! These are nasty characters! Don’t give them the time of day they want to see you in court, I decided to not pursue another restraining orders in new state as such. Hopefully he’s moved on I’m praying!
He got so startled, i could see he was thinking so so hard.
I am not even the same person.. literally. I was born again right in the middle of it. Haven’t seen him since. So I just figured God separated us.
I went thru hell and was absolutely smeared.... but I know this goes to another level you are talking about. I dont know if I could have lived with worse than I had... and I know there is much worse especially with children involved. My heart goes out to you all! Thank God I didnt deal with obsessive coming back personalities ... I had 4, and they all seem like nicer people now. I dont give them my time anymore though, but I'm kind to them. I will never give them control to hurt me again. Crazy... I got into astrology after 30 years of being so emotionally abused... it makes me think this is a big school with tests. I did this 4 times. 4 different men with different faces.... but all had the same behaviors 🥴 I'm broken... but I'm ok. I'm not in agony anymore but I'm cold as ice. I can't even imagine loving a man again. I have learned my lessons for sure. All 4 have come back including those who I thought were friends who also betrayed me. I am friendly but give nothing anymore. I'm exhausted from this life. Just working, & enjoying a simple life, loving my dog.💥
This video is extremely clear and informative. Thanks much!
Hi Anoushka from East Yorkshire & thank you for your videos! 🙏
Hello! And thank you for watching :)
This is very helpful. I am in no contact for 6 most now. I hope to be strong if I see her. Thank you.
It is a challenge to co-parent with these people. You have to learn about and then heal yourself. You have to bring your A game for the sake of the children. It is by no means easy to overcome...It is exhausting.
What I don't understand how narcissists can on the one hand discard you so easily and they're over you the minute it's over (often with a new supply lined up) and the months- or yearlong obsession with you on the other? Happened to me, I was discarded and 7 months later, my every social media move is still being watched. Doesn't make sense to me??
@draugn I can assure you it's an unhealthy obsession. Look up Introject for a start.
I broke it off with the narc. I intentionally wounded him to ensure that he never makes contact with me again. He smeared me to others and immediately moved on to new supply. He burned his own bridge. 💕 Life is so peaceful with out him. 😇
Are you in england?
Or u marriad ??
Btw I had to pause ur video not because it wasn’t good but rather how genuine and the way u communicate I can tell when I’m doing other things I can stay focus on your voice.. Thank you 🙏🏼 so much for not over editing it, I can tell you put a lot of work in it so again thank you for being steady it’s an awesome transition what u do you don’t speak too quickly but you give examples but u get on with it and your clear and when you edit I can ALMOST 😅 not tell your awesome thank you again and have a wonderful weekend!
It's been over a year of no contact for me but if i ever see my ex narcissist, I'm gonna say "You know it's a tragedy, I really loved you man but that was before i knew you were a soul sucking narc!"
We all have wanted to do/say that, but the truth is that you’ll just give them the satisfaction of having the last laugh, because they’ll know they still got to you enough to have said that to them. It’s also a form of supply for them if you think about it. Overall, they’ll think they won.
Silence. Cold, hard silence- no matter what. Be the one that got away!
Yeah, don't say that. Calling them out NEVER works, you're only giving them attention (i.e. supply) which is exactly what they want.
The very best thing you can do is completely ignore them. Literally carry on about your day like you never even saw them. If you happen to be with someone else at the time, all the better.
If you're forced to interact, try to stay completely calm and relaxed, and minimise your interaction. Just "yeah I'm fine. Little busy at the moment though, can you leave me to it please? Thanks" then smile and turn your back.
@@AlastairjCarruthers I can't do that.
@@Shad0wC0mpany2 I can't do that.
@@surfshack2 I told my ex, if God wanted to give me the world and all of its riches to be him, I would respectfully decline. I told him that he was the most repugnant, disgusting, hateful, selfish, meanest, and the ugliest person I have ever experienced in my life.
I then gave him the silent treatment for 3 months. He is not so arrogant anymore. He is trying to get back with me. I told him, he is a stranger and I am not interested.
I’m still in hiding I moved to another state to get away from her before I left she knocked to teeth out my mouth scared if I go back home that she will hunt me down and hurt me
You are lovely and so helpful! Thank you !
That's great Anoushka, you are so helpful.. I am praying she discards me, she's so toxic
This is so fitting & so helpful
Thank you so much Ask, very useful! You are an angel xo
Yes, so there is a dynamic here that was left undiscussed. My narcissist (whom I cut off with immediacy and COMPLETE no contact) KNOWS that I caught on to her, shes well aware of her ways, and she is now very very well aware that I no longer allow myself to be trifled with. I believe its a combination of two reasons. First, she knows I know her game, and second..Id like to think she is able to understand that how she treats people is wrong (but the jur is still out on that one, lol) Therefore, she leaves me utterly alone (a blessing) save for making it a point of hers to "show up" at restaurants / places that I used to take her to (that she previously never frequented before me) with OTHER MEN. I've done my homework, so I clearly understand that this activity is straigt out of the narcissist playbook--that of attempting to create a sense of jealousy or (any other) form of "supply" that they so desperately require. I have remained nonplussed throughout and simply move along wherever she "shows up". Remember one thing as you make your choices on how to interact: THE LEVEL OF DISRESPECT AND CONTEMPT THAT THEY DISPLAYED TOWARDS YOU BEFORE YOU SUSSED THEM OUT. Remembering those horrible details should be helpful as you navigate your interaction following your no contact period. THEY ARE TOTALLY TOXIC AND NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME TO YOU WITH A NARCISSIST. DO NOT LET THE NARCISSIST CONTINUE TO MANIPULATE / TOY WITH YOUR SENSE OF SELF-WORTH AND VULNERABILITY. These things should be sacred to you. Unfortunately I believe narcissists are lost causes...Good Luck....
Tragedy is I have kids with him 😪
I will be seeing him soon in court after 2 months of no contact & a TRO. I had him arrested for assault & battery 2nd degree. I'm anxious about it.
God bless U Anouska✌️ test hoover after 8 months of goshting.She has alot of nerve.These people can casually move on after destroying household finances and unfaithfulness very sick individuals more men need to speak up 🧐
He discarded me and then tried to be “friends” immediately after. I said no and went no-contact. About 4 months later he showed up where I work and spend most of my time (I’m a freelance skateboard coach that typically teaches and trains at the same place). He was with a girl I know that babysits a kid at my local skatepark and he tried to act like we were friends running into each other. I said a neutral hi and mostly ignored him.
Now the girl is pregnant. The news infuriated and hurt me since he had told me at the discard that he was essentially going celibate/following god. I confronted him about his hypocrisy and ask him to stay away from me. I told him I would expose his craziness to my friends if he didn’t. Of course, he flipped. And now when we are in the same space I avoid eye contact but notice him staring at me on my periphery… so rude 🤮
In the US here, I have been so nervous about this. It’s been almost a year, and I have wondered how I would handle this/she would handle it. Thank you!!
I think my ex has something on me, I'm continuously having him in my head, even tho I don't like it.😖
Wow. You almost made me feel sorry for the narcissist. I don't however. great video . Thanks.
Even if the narcissist discards you, they will be stalking you,just like in my case where the ex cyberstalked my social media. I had to actually block.
Thank you! This happen today. I just waved to him and drive off as he attempted to speak to me
It's been 10 years since they last try to hoover. It is a situation that should never have happened and one I tried to escape after just two days but the cycle went on and off for nearly 2 years before I changed the way I reacted to the hoover, which I didn't know at the time.
They did indeed stalk me and turn up coincidentally on my way to work but I always averted my eyes and visibly recoiled at his presence. I've had the out of the blue email 3 years later with the usual love bombing, declarations of love etc, fauxpology for the way they treated me. I ignored it all.
So, they can still be back even if I showed no interest or reaction?
I saw my narc ex at the bar the other night after not seeing them since the summer of 2020. I didn't realize it was them until they left; I'd noticed someone watching me from the corner.. I'm guessing the alcohol allowed the mask to slip... because they seemed pretty crushed...they kept to themselves. As went to leave they tried to be tough and made a point to say something nonchalant...and I recognized the voice and I turned around and they left with their head hung low. I'm bracing for a phone call or text in coming weeks. I've healed and I was having a blast all by myself that night. It doesn't feel good to see them hurt. I understand the psychology and it sucks to watch someone you cared about destroy themselves tbh.
Got about an hour left before we speak after no contact and trying to get myself in a solid strong place so thankyou for this video, time will tell if he is or was indeed in a bad place and needed to heal , wish I didn't care but sadly I do 😐🙏
Yes indeed, no contact, no call, no show ever
Great commentary!!
When she asked me what she meant for me. I replied saying that i would reciprocate in the same amount what I was getting.
4 years relationship, 3 months in to this no contact thing. It's getting hard, this stage is really hard!
Sometimes I find myself planning "random" encounters, just to have some closure. But deep down i just want to humiliate her, expose her for what she is! She has her flying monkeys having a go at me, social media subtle messages, no direct contact because I've tried the no contact aproach before but I wasn't researching narcissism so i gave her the supply that she needed at the time.
I might be missing some big things...
I don't know, I'm not in the right mental state now.
Thanks
❤
So basically us normal people are like their emotional medicine for the narcissist damaged soul 🤔
I went no contact with my parents (narcissistic mother and her flying monkey of a husband) 5 years ago. I lost a good friend earlier this year and my mother turned up at her funeral just to talk to me. I employed the grey rock technique and my sister stood up to her as we were amongst a groups of friends and we knew exactly what she was trying to do. About a month later, my grandmother passed away. I received an email from the flying monkey telling me that if I wanted to know the details of the funeral then I was to contact him. The next night as I was reading to my daughter, he phoned and left a message to TELL me the funeral details. I did not attend the funeral. I have blocked phone calls and emails and hopefully this will be the last of the contact. I moved recently and they don't know which is just the way I would like.
My Ex is silently stalking me. I get phone calls, a long silence (15 secs or so), then a hang-up. It happened a lot at first when I blocked him, but now it happens at key dates. It’s always a local number (friend, colleague, family phones due to blocking his). Once, he slipped up, and when I called back, it went to his daughter’s voicemail. I’m sure that he has slandered me and presents himself as a victim (he does this with every aspect of his life that is challenging).
Same here 15sec then she hangs up. She also phones my ex and pulls the same stunt maybe that one is for triangulation. Don't respond or say hello 10 times be calm
After 16 yrs of marriage, he can just ignore me as if i am a stranger and never knew me before.Very proud to show off his new supply who is his new wife.
I failed Anoushaka 😞 I broke NC he convinced me he wants to see his mom after 20 years and since I go to church I think ppl change I'm beginning to think I did this to get me in control I care about his mom very much I have to go no contact with his mom too right
I want to meet u I m alone ❤❤😍😍💑💑
The great thing of walking away from a narc is all non-narcs are so much better to have you in your life. Which narc ? Cant hardly remember him. Just a difficult person I shortly was with. WALK AWAY from anybody who doesnt cherish you.
I love watching your videos👍😃l always wondered what was wrong with my girlfriend.. and now l know what she is.. WOW ‼️.. thank you for sharing 👍😃
I’ve been afraid of the ambush. But I’m as fit and healthy as ever while we dated I lost weight and she gained it, I took consistent actions to get healthier while she didn’t do anything and approaching menopause, she just gained weight, a Buffalo hump, double chin, and a bad attitude. 🤣
I’ll be prayed up, healthy diet under my belt, lean, fit and happy. The best she can do is wear a mask.
Thanks for your kind video
Nobody knows but they’re probably wondering if you still care.
Ive seen him and his new supply and they looked happy. It hit me hard and my heart was hurting, so i breathed through it. Oh, how i know, how this turns out for her. I just wonder, how long she'll endure this treatment and how long it'll take for him to find someone new.
He put his hands on me, so I dont think he will try to do anything i.e. hoover, come back, contact.
What I do know is I wassssss the best thing ever came his way, and I know for sure he miss me becz I did more for him than any1 he ever had per him, and his whole family.
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatsapp him now
@@jameshampson9221 I dont need help, he does n I hope 2 NEVER see him again...9months n counting
I feel that beyond a shadow of doubt I let that dirt bag know, I'll NEVER, EVER date or have anything to do with him.
Exactly! No contact for good.
TRUE NARCISSIST A DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT LOVE IS AT ALL.... THEY JUST FAKEING IT.... POOR CREATURES😭🤔🤔🤔
OMG he says that to me...I'm always HIS....
I can’t genuinely tell if she was the narcissist or it was me, she breakup with me, sometimes as Anoushka describes the behavior of the narcissistic during no contact a lot of things resonate with me 🙄
Hello,could you please make a video for the new partner of narcissists victim ? It is so difficult to be in this position...Thank you🍀
Start running and don’t look back.
@@fainitesbarley2245 ahah thank you 🤣 but I did not run, there have been challenges because this toxic person wanted to destroy us of course...but in the end we worked it out😉
So much of this content is always for partners of narcissists. That's not a bad thing, just the dynamic is totally different to a parent/child relationship.
My mother was an ignoring narcissistic mother. Of course she takes the second choice. She never wanted a child, and she didn't love me. She spent large parts of my life actively hating me. It's hurt me so much I can't say. A person can't live as someone else's regret.
Sometimes I feel glad that she never bothered when I left. Most times. But every now and again I know that she's hurt me in all the ways she can, and that includes not being bothered. She still thinks she's punishing me.
Mostly now for her, I just feel... nothing.
I happend to be at a dog park this past season and had a guy try to sweep me and I realized he was a covert I did tell him where I work but never gave him my phone number I hope I never come across hum again. It has been 3 months since I seen him
Renee Schroeder,You got a lovely smile 😊
Yep that worked for a while and then he broke it off and has completely gone silent for over a month now and I don’t suspect he’s ever going to be back… So yeah
This might be random, but I love your sweater.
Well mine will go quiet. Then suddenly call me 4-6x in one day. He wanted to spend the weekend at my house. Hmm years ago when you asked him. He says no.. yes he does always remind me of the good times. How much fun we had. Yes all jerks always come back. Give them two weeks. So now the next day. He will be quiet. He even asked me to go away with him. Mini vacation. They miss you for what he enjoys getting from you. One time he even said, I was looking for you to call me this weekend. Really? Why? Trying to suck you back in. I'm gonna block him. I don't care anymore. I'm happier alone. I have my son with me.
It helps when you have PTSD & are numb to their insults 🥴 it just doesn’t hurt anymore & I know what’s bs & hurtful crap meant to hurt me & I don’t even care anymore. I know the truth & that’s all that matters.
I have been divorced for 2 1/2 yrs. mine went no contact and has never wanted to see me to talk to me. not even our 18 yr old son. he blocked me out of every aspect of his life and hides about where he lives from our son. I feel like he treats me like I am the narcissist . Am I since he did opposite of everything ? I have never bothered him since our divorce not once.
That’s exactly how a narc wants you to feel. It’s not you it’s him don’t let anybody tell you any different!
@@erikacrews1338 thank you! I have been worried for years that I did this divorce to myself and I am so truly traumatized by the divorce
Even if I have children with narc, I keep no contact, I don't care what he threatens I don't care what he will do... I just keep no contact for my children and no contact for me. PERIOD.... COUSE I HAD ENOUGH.... ✌️✌️✌️🎊🎊🎊
I'm not sure why this video popped up on my front page but it did. I'm relieved and very unconcerned about my ex. You're right, they're extremely self conscious and they'll try and convince you that you are the insecure one. Lol
What happens if you see the narcissist after the final discard ? I mean, what happens if you see the narcissist if they are the one who broke it off ? This is an important consideration I believe & would love some clarification on this aspect. If anyone can shed some light on this , I’d be super grateful ... thank you in advance x
I'm curious about this as well.
Mine ran into me talking to a friend, and had the nerves to say "Hi Tee Lee" in passing, with an "I played you, but we're still cool, right" cold friendly expression! Wierd!!! I ignored Narco, that's when the hoovering started back up. All 3 attempts turned out to be a waste of Narc's time! 4 yrs of hell and one year seperated, Narc's last unsuccessful hoover attempt was 4 mos ago! 🙌
He will try to take more. He has no shame about taking. His only regret is he should have taken more! Love bomb, devalue, discard to justify the crime. She failed as a dufus! It takes two to Tango and only one to ruin the dance!
Been over 5 years and they are destuctive especially holidays but still ignoring them no matter what did contact police now calls stopped and the destuctive behavior is gone for now but they can't help themselves they will do something childish soon Valentine's day is coming so buckle up and keep safe cause they are lurking ready to kil you with their new supply flying apes just a mess we need a law for these creatures amen 🙏🏿🙏🙏🏿🙏🙏thank you Queen
i saw my narc brother in a supermarket, so loitered until he had left, when i got to the checkout, there was £20 on the floor haha, so, thanks for that!