Hey #selfhealers, Lets create some of the same community love we have on instagram! Let me know in the comments below: Whats your biggest struggle with your thoughts? OR What type of comment would you like to see more of. As usual, than you so much for taking the time to watch. It means everything to me. Nicole (@the.holistic.psychologist)
Biggest struggle for me is repetiion of my thoughts especially imagining worst case scenarios, fear and over explaining myself. It can be in any random situation about any person related to me. Thank you very much for this! This is the first most important thing I want to work on in my future self journal. I have a question tho: do we have to repeat/copy the same thingwe right in step 2 of FSJ everyday or the ideas can be different? Thank you!!
I struggle a lot with negative self talk and negative thinking and also feeling offended very easily. And I tend to overthink a lot of things to a degree where I get bad dreams from those unconscious thoughts that are ruminating within me. I’d love to learn more about how I can really get to know and love and accept myself the way I am - and how to overcome behaviors (addictive, negativity, overthinking, not being calm, feeling offended quickly, etc) that are bad. Liking oneself when engaging in negative behavior and habits seems so impossible to me. I’d love to also see something about healing from toxic relationships- also when still in one and being controlled by a partner or boyfriend. Lastly, learning to forgive others and oneself and how to practice it. Learning how to be independent and not having the urge of feeling the need to have a partner to fulfill one’s needs. I want to be able to stand and bloom by myself and not have to seek for acknowledgment from others.
@@lucie442 the future self journal is a great place to practice building the awareness muscle. Unconscious thoughts must be brought to the surface through conscious awareness to heal.
I have SUCH a hard time making decisions (big life ones). They are periods where the worst parts of myself come out and I become a lost child again, super emotional and go into victim thinking. This is where worst case scenario thinking comes in huge for me.. often comes down to a "head vs heart" scenario which maybe is not even a real thing, just another binary we create. Do you have any advice on feeling more confident in decision making or on head vs. heart?
My thoughts are like a prison 😔 there are so many things I would enjoy doing but I feel trapped and I can't break the cycle. I feel as if I'm stuck with all these possibilities and it's overwhelming.
In order to break through we have to disrupt thought patterns though conscious awareness (meditation) and the habit of keeping promises to yourself.) These small daily practices are the key to healing.
There's always a highly critical voice in my head that tells me I need to try harder to avoid possible mistakes and be prepared for different possibilities, otherwise I'm carefree and irresponsible 😞
I just love the way you break these difficult topics down. So helpful in my personal process of becoming more and more conscious of myself and others. Life feels more doable with how you provide this important information. I really appreciate your work and your transparancy.
i constantly have racing thoughts about what i can’t control. it was super helpful to identify these thoughts and realize that they’re not necessarily true even if i’m thinking about them
very good explanation as usual, this is so important. it empowers or disempower us..... practice the present moment away from the thoughts carousel is maybe the most powerful force we have. well done! ❤️❤️
Perfect explanation- as always! I wish there would be more trustworthy psychologists like you and me out in this chaotic world teaching people how THEY can heal themselves by changing their thought pattern to make productive changes in the long term. Attention shifting is one of my all time favourite "tools" I practice and preach daily (even if I get criticised by other "professionals" for doing so). Keep up the good work! I will continue watching your lessons as there is not much reliable resources here in Germany. Best regards, Nila
I always have poisonous thoughts that makes me feel stuck and trapped. I tend to predict the future a lot and always think about the worst case scenario. It's so difficult to just let these thoughts go and bring back the attention to the present moment. I've seen a little improvement by prating yoga and meditation for over a year, but I have the impression that this is going to be a long long journey towards healing.
THOUGHTS -> FEELINGS/emotions -> BEHAVIOUR!!! A cycle! It’s a difficult practice, being constantly aware and not allowing yourself to fall into the black hole of intrusive thoughts!!
I am so grateful to have watched this today. My whole weekend was consumed in thoughts-negative thoughts...I am trying to change, but get so scared. Thank you for sharing with us again. Mahalo!
If your using the conscious mind as it's intended tool of observation and analysis then thoughts are always productive, whether negative or positive, the issue is people lack the observational and self analysis tools.
thank you for the insightful video. I fall victim to obsessive thinking and creating scenarios in my head. I can see how meditation may help with that :)
This is excellent! It helps me to think about my predictive, future-based thoughts as mostly unproductive. My reptilian/hypervigilant brain is often ruling this type of thinking and recognizing it for what it is will help me take action and create rather than ruminate.
Dear Nicole, Thank you for this super helpful video. My thoughts are most of the time a curse to me. This simple guide is providing me with tools to break the cycle. I would add also a THANK YOU for the Self-Parenting guide you just released.. can't wait to put into practice. :-)
I get involved in repetitive thoughts , I ' ve started Meditation and it helps me so much. BTW, I' ve received your Reparenting guide 🔝🔝🔝 thank you so much . You inspire my own journey ! ✨💫✨
Yay I've gotten your Reparenting Guide! So psyched to see that my one small promise to myself which is also my self discipline practise tool of meditating 5 mins a day is on there so I'm already doing the work 🙌🙌. Also my inner child healing work of doing something I enjoyed as a child. Joy being mentioned was slighttp triggering for me. I've notice that I don't really feel that emotion as I'm using caught up in my mental stories as a part of my dismissive avoidant personality plus not being close to anyone kinda reinforcing it 😟
breaking patterns means making practicing this every single day. Keep one small promise to yourself every day. Build the foundation. This takes time and commitment.
Hi Doc, i was in a long distance relationship and I have this tendency to think about my partner non-stop, my thoughts have always been about what if scenarios, imagining talking to her, taking her places and not living the present, i was living on my phone for months. And what I expected never happen or if I doubt the moment is delusion or real I get to stress up. I can never blame her, but I realised i was mostly codependent on her. I got imposter syndrome as well. I was ghosting her most of the time and I feel guilty about it and I get back to her. I love her so much but the distance was killing me. Our relationship broke this year and I have been going through a difficult phase in my life. Thankfully I started following you and I first started your inner child meditation practice and it's literally saving most of my days. I keep learning so much and I'm rewiring my life and behaviours. My thoughts are still difficult to control and this video would really help I believe. Thank you so much, I can't be grateful enough. I also would like to ask how to over come guilty.
Dr. NICOLE thank u for ur video n inspiration.. I feel the call to study this holistic psychology to help other N myself. Are you doing private session or have an online course? I come from strict Italian family, I am 33 n still struggling with depression N need of recognition.. I spent the past 16years traveling, probably running from facing deep shadow, putting myself 100%at service helping others in slum in India, in México, in Palestine.. I saw more than 1psycology in Italy but they are only focus on the mind ignoring the emotions N family conditioning. Can you help or suggest someone please??
My majority unproductive thought pattern is repetitive. I relive/re-enact the same scenarios in different settings over and over all throughout my day. Overall it seems like productive thoughts and therefore productive behaviour is hard for me as I have not practised it up until now
Yes, our thoughts are repetitive because we practice them every day. In order to shift out of this, we need to practice a new relationship to our thoughts.
It's about working through the fragmentations of self, because each individual personality we embody has its own thought patterns, aswell as beliefs, trauma's and emotional defense.
As always, thanks very much for this helpful video. I feel like I do all the productive thought processes that you've mentioned, but sometimes I do all the unproductive ones as well. Is there any mileage in looking at productive versus unproductive thoughts as sometimes being two sides of the same coin?
What is it called or termed when. One person in a relationship catches out the other for lies but the other is no better because they are hiding the truth.??
*what if you're planning what to do in The future decision and you keep going over the details over and over or back and forth between plan An and plan B?*
There is no future only the present and the past and therefore nothing can change or alter until you alter the past by making the unconscious conscious.
Hey #selfhealers,
Lets create some of the same community love we have on instagram!
Let me know in the comments below:
Whats your biggest struggle with your thoughts? OR What type of comment would you like to see more of. As usual, than you so much for taking the time to watch. It means everything to me.
Nicole (@the.holistic.psychologist)
Biggest struggle for me is repetiion of my thoughts especially imagining worst case scenarios, fear and over explaining myself. It can be in any random situation about any person related to me.
Thank you very much for this!
This is the first most important thing I want to work on in my future self journal. I have a question tho: do we have to repeat/copy the same thingwe right in step 2 of FSJ everyday or the ideas can be different? Thank you!!
I struggle a lot with negative self talk and negative thinking and also feeling offended very easily. And I tend to overthink a lot of things to a degree where I get bad dreams from those unconscious thoughts that are ruminating within me.
I’d love to learn more about how I can really get to know and love and accept myself the way I am - and how to overcome behaviors (addictive, negativity, overthinking, not being calm, feeling offended quickly, etc) that are bad. Liking oneself when engaging in negative behavior and habits seems so impossible to me.
I’d love to also see something about healing from toxic relationships- also when still in one and being controlled by a partner or boyfriend.
Lastly, learning to forgive others and oneself and how to practice it. Learning how to be independent and not having the urge of feeling the need to have a partner to fulfill one’s needs. I want to be able to stand and bloom by myself and not have to seek for acknowledgment from others.
@@nanam8848 yes, repeat each habit for 30 days.
@@lucie442 the future self journal is a great place to practice building the awareness muscle. Unconscious thoughts must be brought to the surface through conscious awareness to heal.
I have SUCH a hard time making decisions (big life ones). They are periods where the worst parts of myself come out and I become a lost child again, super emotional and go into victim thinking. This is where worst case scenario thinking comes in huge for me.. often comes down to a "head vs heart" scenario which maybe is not even a real thing, just another binary we create. Do you have any advice on feeling more confident in decision making or on head vs. heart?
I get stuck in the obsessive thoughts and I actually aggravate myself with it. Thank you for this 💗
My thoughts are like a prison 😔 there are so many things I would enjoy doing but I feel trapped and I can't break the cycle. I feel as if I'm stuck with all these possibilities and it's overwhelming.
In order to break through we have to disrupt thought patterns though conscious awareness (meditation) and the habit of keeping promises to yourself.) These small daily practices are the key to healing.
@@TheHolisticPsychologist thank you very much 💓
“Can I do something now.”- I love your wisdom. 🖤🖤🖤✌🏽
There's always a highly critical voice in my head that tells me I need to try harder to avoid possible mistakes and be prepared for different possibilities, otherwise I'm carefree and irresponsible 😞
Love n light Beautiful, delightful Dr Nicole🙏❤️🧿😁🙏
I just love the way you break these difficult topics down. So helpful in my personal process of becoming more and more conscious of myself and others. Life feels more doable with how you provide this important information. I really appreciate your work and your transparancy.
i constantly have racing thoughts about what i can’t control. it was super helpful to identify these thoughts and realize that they’re not necessarily true even if i’m thinking about them
You have no idea how much you’ve helped me, and I bet to others as well. Thank you❤️
very good explanation as usual, this is so important. it empowers or disempower us..... practice the present moment away from the thoughts carousel is maybe the most powerful force we have. well done! ❤️❤️
Thank you so very much for the tools that you provide to us for self healing and growth
Perfect explanation- as always! I wish there would be more trustworthy psychologists like you and me out in this chaotic world teaching people how THEY can heal themselves by changing their thought pattern to make productive changes in the long term. Attention shifting is one of my all time favourite "tools" I practice and preach daily (even if I get criticised by other "professionals" for doing so). Keep up the good work! I will continue watching your lessons as there is not much reliable resources here in Germany. Best regards, Nila
Hi Nila,
Thank you so much for watching and your kinds words.
Is it a chaotic world or devine intervention ?
Isn't it just a projection of inner chaos and judgement ?
I always have poisonous thoughts that makes me feel stuck and trapped. I tend to predict the future a lot and always think about the worst case scenario. It's so difficult to just let these thoughts go and bring back the attention to the present moment. I've seen a little improvement by prating yoga and meditation for over a year, but I have the impression that this is going to be a long long journey towards healing.
THOUGHTS -> FEELINGS/emotions -> BEHAVIOUR!!! A cycle! It’s a difficult practice, being constantly aware and not allowing yourself to fall into the black hole of intrusive thoughts!!
Thank you ♥️
I am so grateful to have watched this today. My whole weekend was consumed in thoughts-negative thoughts...I am trying to change, but get so scared. Thank you for sharing with us again. Mahalo!
Mahalo!
If your using the conscious mind as it's intended tool of observation and analysis then thoughts are always productive, whether negative or positive, the issue is people lack the observational and self analysis tools.
I agree. People just practice to access those tools.
Thank you
I'm so *excited about your reparenting project launch!*
I hope it was helpful!
Beautiful and extremely helpful video. Sincere gratitude! 💕🦋
Thank you. شكراً
Replace thoughts by concentrating on the issue in front of us.
thank you for the insightful video. I fall victim to obsessive thinking and creating scenarios in my head. I can see how meditation may help with that :)
It's a beautiful practice.
This is excellent! It helps me to think about my predictive, future-based thoughts as mostly unproductive. My reptilian/hypervigilant brain is often ruling this type of thinking and recognizing it for what it is will help me take action and create rather than ruminate.
Yes! That reptilian brain!
Dear Nicole, Thank you for this super helpful video. My thoughts are most of the time a curse to me. This simple guide is providing me with tools to break the cycle. I would add also a THANK YOU for the Self-Parenting guide you just released.. can't wait to put into practice. :-)
Hey! Thank you! I really hope it's helpful.
I absolutely love your work it is changing my life x could you do video on "flipping the lid" or PTS 😢😢😢
Yes so helpful and timely.......
This video was for me!!!!!!!!
sure was! ;)
I get involved in repetitive thoughts , I ' ve started Meditation and it helps me so much.
BTW, I' ve received your Reparenting guide 🔝🔝🔝 thank you so much . You inspire my own journey ! ✨💫✨
Hi! thank you. I'm so glad you got the reparenting guide and hope it's helpful!
Yay I've gotten your Reparenting Guide! So psyched to see that my one small promise to myself which is also my self discipline practise tool of meditating 5 mins a day is on there so I'm already doing the work 🙌🙌. Also my inner child healing work of doing something I enjoyed as a child. Joy being mentioned was slighttp triggering for me. I've notice that I don't really feel that emotion as I'm using caught up in my mental stories as a part of my dismissive avoidant personality plus not being close to anyone kinda reinforcing it 😟
Yes! I'm proud of you for doing the work.
Not being able to do what is good for me, and I am unable to break patterns. It's like a self destructive behavior, do you have any suggestions?
breaking patterns means making practicing this every single day. Keep one small promise to yourself every day. Build the foundation. This takes time and commitment.
Patterns are unconscious programs and therefore in order to break the pattern you must change the unconscious programs through analysis of the shadow.
Thankyou ❤
Great video, thank you for the explanation.
Hi Doc, i was in a long distance relationship and I have this tendency to think about my partner non-stop, my thoughts have always been about what if scenarios, imagining talking to her, taking her places and not living the present, i was living on my phone for months. And what I expected never happen or if I doubt the moment is delusion or real I get to stress up. I can never blame her, but I realised i was mostly codependent on her. I got imposter syndrome as well. I was ghosting her most of the time and I feel guilty about it and I get back to her. I love her so much but the distance was killing me. Our relationship broke this year and I have been going through a difficult phase in my life. Thankfully I started following you and I first started your inner child meditation practice and it's literally saving most of my days. I keep learning so much and I'm rewiring my life and behaviours. My thoughts are still difficult to control and this video would really help I believe. Thank you so much, I can't be grateful enough. I also would like to ask how to over come guilty.
thank you! very helpful!!!
Thanks so much, love your content!
I love your videos 🙏 thank you so much 😊
Dr. NICOLE thank u for ur video n inspiration.. I feel the call to study this holistic psychology to help other N myself. Are you doing private session or have an online course? I come from strict Italian family, I am 33 n still struggling with depression N need of recognition.. I spent the past 16years traveling, probably running from facing deep shadow, putting myself 100%at service helping others in slum in India, in México, in Palestine.. I saw more than 1psycology in Italy but they are only focus on the mind ignoring the emotions N family conditioning. Can you help or suggest someone please??
My majority unproductive thought pattern is repetitive. I relive/re-enact the same scenarios in different settings over and over all throughout my day. Overall it seems like productive thoughts and therefore productive behaviour is hard for me as I have not practised it up until now
Yes, our thoughts are repetitive because we practice them every day. In order to shift out of this, we need to practice a new relationship to our thoughts.
It's about working through the fragmentations of self, because each individual personality we embody has its own thought patterns, aswell as beliefs, trauma's and emotional defense.
As always, thanks very much for this helpful video. I feel like I do all the productive thought processes that you've mentioned, but sometimes I do all the unproductive ones as well. Is there any mileage in looking at productive versus unproductive thoughts as sometimes being two sides of the same coin?
We will have both unproductive and productive thoughts. Awareness of this creates healing. You're doing the work!
There is no such thing as an unproductive thought, the emotion behind the thought that creates a judgement is unproductive if not recognised.
I always think of the worst case :(
veryy helpful thank you!!
Very helpful, greetings from Venezuela 🙏♥️
❤
What is it called or termed when. One person in a relationship catches out the other for lies but the other is no better because they are hiding the truth.??
Nicole can this be worse when you are coming off antidepressant and have ADD and OCD?
Nicole can you let me know what course or degree you have done for being an H.P? or how to access becoming H.P? Thanks
Hi, I have a PhD in clinical Psychology.
@@TheHolisticPsychologist Thank-you! I'm guessing that took years to do?
*what if you're planning what to do in The future decision and you keep going over the details over and over or back and forth between plan An and plan B?*
Yes, this is my question!! Thank you.
@@meganokelly let's see what she says. :)
@@Thefitty Yes, looking forward to her thoughts. I like what Marie Forleo askes herself - "10 years from now, will I regret NOT doing X."
@@meganokelly I love Marie! And that's a good question. I'll keep that in mind.
There is no future only the present and the past and therefore nothing can change or alter until you alter the past by making the unconscious conscious.
I am so sick of the repetitive rumination rythm I have established my whole life.