My Wife Constantly Blames Me For Everything | Paul Friedman
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 พ.ค. 2024
- Men and women have different flaws, different positive attributes but by learning what our own flaws are, what holds us back as a man in our case, and learning about our wives flaws and attributes gives us an amazing opportunity to gain what we want from marriage which is ever-increasing happiness, ever-increasing love where it just gets better and better every single day. And when these kinds of things come up basically, what it's saying is we haven't been taught about marriage. We have no idea what we're doing.
Way back in the day when I used to meet with individuals, every single man that I met with after they would get to know me for a while, and when I say for a while I mean in the first session because I didn't like to drag sessions out. I'm into like fix it now, fix it now. Make some progress. Every single man would say to me, "I just got to tell you, my wife is crazy." Every single one and I had no idea that I was the only one who thought that about my wife. From our point of view as men it's like, "How do they come up with this stuff? How are they thinking like that?" And so I came up with a little metaphor, I think that if you were to open up or look into a woman's head, you ever see a pot of boiling spaghetti where the spaghetti is all moving around and everything and it's just you can't tell which spaghetti is connected to what, and where the ends are -- that's what it looks like in a woman's head and you know what she'll even tell you that. Where man inside our minds things have to be categorized its lines, its circles, even the creative men. It's a designation by gender. It's a biologically driven thing.
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Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by:
1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.
Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.
This is the opposite to me, I like the feathers method is saving me insanity thanks Paul
My dad wants told me a long time ago, right when you think you can't take it no more. You are just getting started, thanks Dad LOL
The problem is that what she perceives is not based on any logical train of thought most of the time, and men are trained to think rationally. Paul is spot on when he says "don't be affected".
...and as a man thinks in simple terms most will have a single answer to what is fairly complex. It should wake one up to their anger, the kind of connection he has with himself and his wife, and the lack of mastery over his mind.
@@TheMarriageFoundation Thanks for the response. Of course it was a take on a complex situation - and there is no single answer, just my opinion. Have a good day!
Do you have a video about a wife that blames you for their unhappiness in life and how to manage that? Mine appears to have pegged me as the barrier keeping her from happiness. Long story short, in my case, my wife always looks to her surroundings as to why she is unhappy and wants new things to fix it and it needs to happen now because time is running out. For example we need to get an apartment, now we need a new car, no now we need a house or we will miss our opportunity, we need a new lawn, and now it's we need to move out of state. She always seems to think (and she's admitted this a few times) that if she can just get this one more thing she'll be happy. As you can imagine I'm not particularly enthused about moving out of state and here I am watching your video as my cycle plays out and escalates xD.
Most people are like her to a degree. It is rare, actually, for any of us to not have this very real 'problem' because we are in a material body that demands we fulfill its material needs. The disguises the mind puts on this condition that comes with owning a body are endless.
In your case you have the same problem but your mind has made your wife's behavior the outer factor that "allows" you your happiness and her the problem. Do you see it? Your solution is to get the training and instruction in the course for men and conquer your mind then share with your wife, but only after some weeks or months (when you start to gain success) how much happier you are so she will want to get the course for women and be free of this universal problem.
My words exactly. Are you sure you're not talking about my wife... Lol. My wife messed up my logical thinking that I have amassed for over 50 years. She told me that she'd be successful if she was never married to me.
Does she at least use the things you get her to generate happiness. Mine said she needed a pc so she could stream and make $. Six months later, she still hasn't streamed once. But she tells me that I'm holding her back. This dude is so full of stuff for men to do, but how do you get a woman who actually needs to change to make a change? Nobody's perfect. I need to improve, but my wife has a negative feedback loop of overlapping flaws that cause her to emotionally abuse me because she blames me for everything. It's not ok, and its on her to change it.
you finally found your place in line. most women blame the male for their unhappiness.
@@danowarkills4093 same thing exactly the same makes me fill useless
Thanks so much for this. This just reminds me "NOT TO OVER-REACT" and just LISTEN and don't say and do anything. "SILENCE" is the best RESPONSE to a wife that blames me for everything.
After certain point , even silence doesn't serve anything good and if you say or utter a word, it will be seen as an argument. Problem , as a man, we are attached too much and think that we deserve whatever she is saying
You have definitely helped me this morning thank you
Awesome I love how simple you explain it ty
I would love it if you would make a video titled something like watch this when you feel angry with your husband.
Many times when I’m finding it hard to control my mind and I start to feel anger rise up and take over or I start allowing myself to feel like a victim I will try to find parts of your videos where you say things like “your husband is your best friend” and “he loves you” and “who will be there for you when you go to the hospital” those things help me remember how much I love him and remind me of his wonderful qualities. Hearing your calm soothing voice helps me to refocus and remember why I am doing this and it is because I want my husband and I to be happy the rest of our lives. I just wish I didn’t have to search through the videos to find those reminders that help to calm and refocus me at times when the breathing techniques and other tricks just don’t seem to be enough.
Maybe its a good time to look into the course for women?
Thank you for your calming words
This video is truly amazing sir, thank you!
You might consider the course for men themarriagefoundation.org/
Amazing advice!
I always gave my ex wife two choices.
Choice 1: Do you want to vent,
Choice 2 : Do you want me to fix the problem?
Turns out she had BPD from past trauma the whole time and It never had anything to do with me. She needed serious therapy. To bad I found that out to late. We are divorced. 🤷🏽♂️
I'm sorry you didn't find us sooner. Your questions to her would not make her happy and her answers to you would not make you happy....we all need to learn how to make each other happy, and loved.
Thank you so so much
I have learnt it the hard way that the thing #2 is to say: "I am sorry you are in pain." For the more advanced level: "I am so sorry that I've hurt you!" (even if you did not do anything to hurt her, this is how she is feeling and that's all that matters at the moment. She will be interested in hearing your explanations later, once she is sure that you are with her feelings.)
good man
Sounds like simp behavior to me.
Terrible idea. If she can’t be accountable, how will the games ever stop
@@natevincek354 Are you 100.00% sure she is playing games? If there is even a 0.01% that the games are only in your mind (e.g. because of your being afraid that someone is playing games on you), then it's worthwhile to assume that this is the truth. I am talking from personal experience.
@@natevincek354 They wont ever stop, that is why she needs to stop acting childish and take personal responsibility for the decisions she makes and the consequences of the decisions (good or bad) REAL adults dont start blaming others and expect someone to be their scapegoat for all the problems in their lives.
Thank you.
🙏
I love the spaghetti metaphor
You are amazinggg
I hate how right your dad is
LOL Now, we can have it alll when we learn how to operate our marriage, and that's not funny, its great news!
It's hard not to care when you actually do!
Care! But rise above.
That's 100% True
Found this a little too late.
I’m sorry. Truly. That sucks. But this comment made me crack up.
What if she never communicates & always blames us. Bt thn she still comes wth love
So where like wt..!
Blame is like a tantrum-inspired rock being trown at you from a safe distance. Just step out of the way and let her know you love her and that its a misunderstanding. Never take the hit or retaliate.
@@TheMarriageFoundation ok thnk u
Goin to a rumble
All the time & it’s difficult & i feel guilty like im the problem. Js
Learn to love, unconditionally.
@@TheMarriageFoundation iknw sumthng i wan learn,bt another difficulty is she in a spiral den fall
I really dnt knw hw nw. Thnk u