Yo Bat Country, you are one of the biggest reasons I got sober and do my best to maintain sobriety. You are the most eloquent yet raw sober individual that I have had the pleasure of encountering. You are a warrior and a poet. My last drink was five days ago, on my birthday, after four months of sobriety. I was disappointed in myself, but your videos gave me the motivation to focus on sobriety and my health. Please keep making videos. You really are making an impact on people's lives.
I wonder if I'm too early in declaring my last drink. It was 38 days ago. I had constructed a vague plan to run out of alcohol and not buy more. There was some strategy to it, here in Finland it is not allowed, by law, to sell alcohol past 9pm from stores. I had zero interest in going to a bar or a club to continue the bender, I drink alone. It was Saturday and early in the day I came to the "scary" conclusion that I would run out of alcohol before evening even. I ended up getting bunch of 0.5l cans of Long Drink, and thankfully not another bottle of liquor. My final drink was the last swig from the bottle of bourbon, that I was so worried wouldn't last till the end of the day, finishing it finally past 9pm. I crashed into bed, woke up the next day, got rid of the enpty bottles and cans, got some snacks, foods and stuff to get through the withdrawal. I just recently got done with the post binge/post withdrawal mental turmoil of irritability, depression and such, and now have gone into the pink cloud. Pink cloud was what did me in the last attempt at sobriety. Now, with my guards manually kept up and with the help of aa, I'm hopefully going to get to call that final swig of bourbon the last drink of my life.
Sober for almost 7yrs then relapsed for a year. Almost 6 months sober again. Last drunk was atrocious. So so so sick. Humiliated, ashamed, and defeated. Today I feel wonderful but it's a struggle. Alcohol is demonic. Love to all who are suffering. You can get sober.❤
Thank you so much for your amazing videos. You have such a calming voice & totally understand about alcoholism. I have finally had enough & put the drink down, its only day 3. My last bout of sobriety was for 10yrs, stupidly i thought it could be different. For me like yourself, i can never safely drink. Thanks again..love listening to you.
I've been watching all your videos man, it's great hearing a perspective I identify with. Struggling to quit drinking since the New Year, going to detox tomorrow.
Here's my last drink story. I drank all day every day for five years. I farted around in AA for 3 years after that, relapsing to varying degrees two or three times a year. My last relapse lasted for a few weeks, drinking morning noon and night, and suddenly quitting plunged me into alcoholic hallucinosis and DT which landed me in the hospital for three days. It was a terrifying and life-changing hallucinogenic experience, far more convincing and confusing than even the weirdest acid trip. The delusions were indistinguishable from reality. I went to the hospital despite fearing the costs I'd incur because the alternative was deleting myself, and I thought long and hard about those options. After I got out of the hospital I still wanted to drink, but I had learned about the kindling effect and realized that I'd had DT-adjacent symptoms before but just didn't know it at the time, and I knew it would be worse next time. When I did relapse again, I couldn't shake the worry that if I drank the way I normally did, I would re-encounter the hallucinations that had left such an impression on me. I couldn't enjoy the reckless abandon anymore; I wasn't having fun, I was just mad that I was half-drunk. The thrill was gone and replaced with existential fear. So I finished a six-pack of beer and then hung it up for good-- two years sober this May.
Fighting with my alcohol dependency, by being sober now for 12 days. I decided to stop using, because it really isn't the answer to my struggles with ADD & autism. I will just aim to drink more water and eat healthier foods. Sometimes having some snacks & soda to reward myself. Running has been my passion for almost two years now & I will not ruin my self with alcohol anymore. There will come a time, when my body won't be able to fight off that dependency as greatly & so it's important to stop now when I'm young. Everyone who reads this: I know it's hard to quit your personal addictions, but I also know that you have in you the fight to stop & start a new better chapter for the future! Love from Finland
This is the first of your videos that I have ever watched, and I found it so intriguing that I subscribed. I somewhat remember my last drink, about ten months ago. It was nothing remarkable. It was on a Saturday evening. I told myself that the next day would be my last spent drinking. Sunday morning rolled around and I noticed that there was only an inch or two of vodka left in the bottle. Knowing that that would nowhere near satisfy my daily drinking routine, I opted to simply pour it down the kitchen sink. Now this is certainly not the first time I have quit drinking, but this time is different. I used to abstain from alcohol because my doctors recommended that I stop or knowing that it just wasn't good for me. The benefit of sobriety always seemed like it was somewhere to be enjoyed off into the future. And thus, I always relapsed because I simply hated being sober. But this time I have a daily appreciation for being dry and free. The benefit of not drinking is not in some far away place. I now value it every morning I wake up, throughout my day and when I bed down at night. Thank you for producing such a fine channel.
@Nickelodeon81 I'm already thankful that I didn't just a couple hours later, I would have been obliterated and any joy I got from the initial relapse would be gone. One day at a time.
I drank a half fifth of gin in a straight shot and passed out for long enough to experience my first withdrawal. This was December 19th of last month and it so far has scared me sober. The withdrawal had me experiencing hallucinations, insomnia, and an anxiety that is indescribable. I found your channel and your experiences have played a part in helping me stay sober. Thank you for that.
Sorry to hear that experience, it must have been rough. It's very confusing for a long time, so I hope sobriety sticks for you. Once you've gone through that stuff, you've crossed an invisible threshold, and you need to be very vigilant about it from now on. Congrats on your sober time though - you made it nearly a month across the holiday period. That's the hardest part behind you.
Wow. It sounds like you have lived one hell of a life. Lots of good times, but also lots of deeply horrific ones as well. You are truly an inspiration. Love you man.
I went for vodka for my dad when he was in the depths. He had drunk himself to where he could not walk, lived on his couch. I would object, ask if he was sure.. resist lightly, but, in the end it was his choice. I wanted to respect his right to self-determination.. to choose his own path.. even the bad one, otherwise it is not a choice. He ended up passing away to the deterioration of his 'innards' from massive over consumption. Not a great way to go... at age 56.
Your story is remarkably similar to mine - relapses, multiple hospitalizations, rehabs, detoxes, severe withdrawal, seizures and psychotic breaks - and so serves to remind me of how bad addiction to alcohol (and in my case opiates and crack) can get. Yet, that's how bad it had to get until I couldn't take it anymore. I was very sick both mentally and phsyiologically. I have largely regained my health during the past 15 years and am now eternally grateful that my memories of drinking equate to nightmares. And, while I've told my story many times, and tried to imbue it with the horror that characterized my final 5 or 6 years, I realize now that telling my story in the belief that it might deter others is likely pointless. I'd heard all the horror stories others told over the course of my 30 some years in and out of rehabs and AA meetings. Another person's nightmare story might make an impression on me but it never stopped me from carrying on, largely because those things hadn't happened to me. I was different and would be until they did happen to me. Fear is a strong deterrent but the fear must be great enough to dissolve any illusion that a drink would make things better. I know, for me, that drinking leads only to places I never want to return. Consequently, drinking really isn't an issue in my life anymore. I live comfortably, contentedly and creatively, and I laugh a lot. I wouldn't trade that for anything. But it took me a long long time and I was lucky to have survived so I could discover the life that I was capable of leading. I now believe that If hearing somebody else's horror story worked to deter the active alcoholic, we would have solved the problem. There's nothing rational about addiction, so hoping somebody engaged in irrational behaviour might rationally compute that my story could one day be theirs, is itself irrational. Still, thanks for the share.
9 months ago, I swore to God that I would never drink again after looking in the mirror and saw that my eyelids were black and starting to turn yellow. I got through 2 days without drinking and started to feel better, then that day a drank a can of beer and immediately went to the bog to throw it up(to get it out of my system). That was my last ever drink. Even last night, I had a nightmare that I hit the bottle again, but I'm doing pretty good.
It took years before I stopped having that dream that I got wasted and everyone was pissed off with me or I was trying to hide from them. I still get those dreams once in a while, usually during sleep paralysis.
The "terrible beating administered by alcohol" is what I think about, rather than my last drink. The real significance, for me, was the internal surrender that shifted the focus from "not drinking" to being "set free". The very moment I conceded to myself that "I" was the root problem, was the moment I began to recover. Alcohol is rarely a part of my consciousness, because I was ready to literally do the footwork. THAT has not changed, and is the crucial element in why I continue to live in abundance. "We do not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it". Yes, I remember some of my "last" drink, but not with a resentment or disdain, or melancholy, but as the catalyst for a new life. Thank you Stu for providing a platform for thoughtful and measured discussion, which I will be engaged in later this morning...in person. I woke up with the winning lottery ticket today...SOBRIETY. Physical, but most importantly, EMOTIONAL. ✌❤ Mark
I found your channel late last night and have watched about 8 hours since then, 7 of that last night into the small hours. This has been a bloody revelation to me in the content, the details that i thought I'd never understand or even believed happen, the timing most of all. The timing.... I have struggled for a few years now with severe alcohol abuse to myself. I left a very long comment on the Sebastian video but to recap, i am an alcoholic, one of my three best friends drank himself to death at 36. He was a year younger than me and I'm now 54. Ive always enjoyed a tipple but in the last 10 to 12 years it got increasingly worse as various situations messed with me and in the last few years my drinking got ridiculous. Things in my life got even more effed up which just exacerbated the alcohol abuse. I did stop for a year at least twice in the last few years and for 6 months after i was rushed into hospital with heart failure after running myself into the ground work wise and in my private life and all of this neatly reinforced with too much booze. So yea, i have a heart condition and diabetes too. Did that stop me? For 6 months, yes as my mom looked after me at my childhood home for 6 months then literally the evening i moved into my new flat to begin again, i put my bags and my beloved cat down on the floor then went out straight away to get fags and booze. And it never stopped. I realised i was going too far and in the last two or three months stopped drinking vodka and bourbon and told myself it was fine because i was only having a couple of cans of beer most nights or a bottle of wine twice a week. The beast was dead or dying at least. To my eternal shame i even told my other best mate that id given up. And for a while i HAD , a month maybe then i realised i could'nt have a fag without a tipple (i said id given up smoking too, and i did briefly but relapsed and didn't tell him) And the kicker came last week when i had a little tiny bit more money than i thought i had left before my next lot came in so i decided to buy a bottle of vodka for a farewell fandango so to speak, one last fling before eternal sobriety. And a bottle of wine added for good measure. I drank two thirds plus a bottle of wine that night and the very next day , a 35cl vodka or half a proper bottle and TWO bottles of wine and that was my spare moolah gone. That was early last week and THAT night i polished off the rest of the big bottle AND the small bottle and a bottle of wine plus a glass of the other bottle. My justification was that i was catching up on university challenge and only connect and prove i still had a brain even when caning it. So friday afternoon i had one glass of wine left which i enjoyed with a ciggie then i NEARLY, NEARLY went to get just one more bottle of cheapest aldi wine but thankfully i couldn't be bothered to go out in the rain so that has been my last tipple. 5 days ago. And i won't lie.... ive just got a part time job for the first time in ages just before xmas and next week i get my first pay. I have been excited to stave off buying food for a few days to get ONE FINAL BOTTLE of vodka to reward myself for finding a part time job. Yea. Pathetic. And co.ing across your videos has hopefully given me some steely resolve to make this one actually count and get myself back to a position of relative health, peace of mind (a lot of CBT this year ) and self improvement and get back to the person i was once. So thank you. This feels almost fated!!! 😅
Apologies.... I didn't mean to be so long winded.... I just wanted to express my appreciation for finding this channel and the timing for me. Thanks to you and everyone in the comments who have really helped my intentions and resolve.
Got close to 5 yrs and i almost slipped up. Was talking to my buddy that made it 13 yrs then slipped and back at it hard again. As someone who's quit a dozen times. Don't test yourself with 1 drink
My last drink? The morning of September 19, 2021. I had just blown a promotion opportunity at work and had been to my first recovery meeting a week prior; I knew I was firmly fucked at this point but was unable to help myself from ordering myself my weekend 25 pack on the Saturday just before and had a small handful left over. I'd done a lot worse than blow a promotion in my pre-sober life but that one, because of my immense ego and equally immense insecurity, got my attention. I knew if I didn't stop drinking I would, at best, be a mildly successful family shame and more likely dead, homeless, alone, or all 3. Been sober since and it's been the best, and the hardest, and the most revealing, and the most educational 3.5yrs of my life. Thanks for what you do here and your approach to this niche of content in general. Cheers. 🎉
Head up bud. I thought the same. I drank for 30 years. Tried "quitting" the last 20 years. Over 30 rehabs, multiple psych wards, prison, jails, homelessness, loss of children, marriages, family, jobs, freedom, sanity, completely hopeless. I am now sober. Not every day is rainbows and lollipops but it's a damn sight better than alcoholic hell. We are done when the pain becomes too great.
My son suffers seizures when he withdraws from alcohol. If youve seen someone you love suffer from addiction you will do anything to prevent suffering. Including giving them alcohol.
If you have ever been there, this is about as accurate description you will get. I still have the nausea when I hear or recall it, I'm hoping it stays. I had severe consequences from my last drink, my then partner and all around withdrew from my life. I am sober for quite some time now and repairing my life , that last drink took me to a ward in a foreign country quickly. Life is definitely better sober, nothing is constant but at least I can be my genuine self. Thanks for the videos stay well 👌
After my second dui, august 13th 2024, left my first court appearance and walked to a local sushi bar in Salem MA. Ordered two rolls and a Sapporo. Only managed to eat half of what i ordered. The roof of my mouth was to cut up for some reason. Only finished half my beer and from there it’s been over 5 months and will be going to that same court house next week for trial.
My dad just passed a month ago due to alcoholism. Your video aimed at loved ones explaining the alcoholic-psyche helped me understand him. As a result, we had a better relationship until he suddenly passed and I also accepted the very last phone call to me that he was going to make. I'm grateful that I wasn't bitter towards him in the end. Thank you
So many lost days, finding myself in unexpected places and hospitals but this video makes me recall my last binge and then withdrawal 16 months ago. It's important to recall it in detail as you do here, as the passing months soften and blur the horror of it all. We must all remember our last drink or at least drinking episode because without that we risk losing sight of how bloody brilliant sober life is. Thanks Stu 🌹
For the past 2 months i've been going go bed everynight listening to Leftfield 'leftisim'. 6 days ago i started listening to bat country video's. I can pay this channel no higher compliment.
Last drink was new years eve 24'. Made many mistakes over the years but got the know how and desire lately. Feel good about this time. Gotta want it. Peace.✌️
I know a Guy who would drink a pint like it was a shot, last time I saw him,I was seeing him off in an ambulance because he had obvious internal bleeding.
Great work as always Stu, honest to a tee. I am not alcoholic and never have been but I learn where possible from the honesty of others. I appreciate your work brother and send felicitations to a fine man.
3 1/2 months here. Man, your videos were extremely helpful and motivating the first month of being sober. Really helped me, keep it up brother! My last drink was Jim Bean at the hospital, I went in because I was losing my mind I think I was close to delirium tremons as I look back at it. I knew the wait to get treated was going to be a while, In the waiting room twice I started to freak out and I would run to the bathroom and take a shot. Life is so much easier and nicer sober:)
No importance on my behalf - every time I momentarily get sober, I intentionally forget my last drink, whether it was mouthwash, $200 Scotch or vanilla essence. Doesn't seem to help, mind you.
My last drink was on the way to a meeting - some can of cider - reduced my intake to 1 can a day from like 3-4 liters of wine and stuff. I had a bad headache as well that day and in the end i poured most of the can into a bush so...and i all i felt was being thankful that in that moment everything culminated and i actually stopped.
Listend to your audiobook. Greetings from Almaty) but fell back. Sticking to wine at the moment. But it has to clear out. Looking forward to your next content
I have never been a big drinker. I liked a few beers after work (an Australian habit 😊) Getting to my 60’s I just gave up drinking because I just didn’t get any enjoyment out of it. Even with my level of drinking - once stopped- the improvements were great - good sleep etc etc So the reason for sharing my situation and subscribing to your channel is for the following reasons 1) I find your style is incredibly interesting and you have a brilliant way of sharing your experiences 2) I truly appreciate the insights you share 3) you are doing a fantastic job of helping other people in a similar situation So - if you get my attention, you are probably doing a better job helping others than you realise Keep it up - you are a natural
My last drink was about 11 o’clock at night on 13 January this year. Once again, this is my first day of sobriety, I feel pretty great today better than I have in a long, long time. I know my boyfriend would definitely be considered to enable me in my alcoholism. From what I can tell, he does it because he loves me and he knows I’m going to be sad and bummed out and anxious if I don’t get to drink. He doesn’t wanna be around that and he doesn’t want me to feel like that. I think that’s the reason he allows for drinkingthat he would prefer didn’t occur. Here’s to that last sip of lukewarm beer to being my last for good.
I've not drank often but stress at work being bullied made me just reach out to the bottle and drink ! I don't relapse or to be hospitalised just sheer being comforted by beer . Do I feel good yes because it's masked the thoughts of the initial problem
Just got discharged from detox from alcohol abuse. It was either that or jail. And even though it was forced on me I took the time to reflect. As I was laying there with a blood pressure of 195 and doped up to not die I realized it’s time. It’s time to straighten up. For myself, my family and my son. I’ve been watching your content for some time now. But I’d always have a bottle in my hand wishing “if only I could just stop” and I’m glad I was forced to. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom I suppose
Damn, dude. I'm glad you're ok. To be fair, you didn't know that bottle would be your last drink. Keeping it probably would have done more harm than good in the short term.
I know if I made videos every few days and “lived” in my past and milked it publicly, I’d prob start drinking/using again eventually. I finally beat alcoholism after I quit going to AA meetings and living in it all. I just don’t drink, it’s not part of my identity like it was attending AA for 12-13 year’s religiously. I eventually always relapsed no matter how big of a smile I wore and in spite of how entertaining my story was. Maybe it’s not the same for everyone, but my need for approval and acceptance is no longer important to me. Being sober and happy is. Fuck the fakeness. No thx. 💯🙏😊
I genuinely appreciate you seeing through all of that BS. Support groups of kinds are where people go to worship the beast of addiction. Of course, the only time alcohol dependent people want to drink is after a meeting. It's like dangling a meatball in front of a hungry dog. Recovery simply comes down to a commitment to lifetime abstinence and recognizing The Addictive voice as separate from you. That voice in your head that tells you to drink even though it goes against your better judgment, and you just go do its bidding and drink. Addicted people are not their addiction and they are not that voice in their head. Once people begin to realize this, the world of addiction will look very different. I will never drink again no matter what happens is a plan for the future that will breed success. Not one day at a time. That's no way to quit anything you love. Addiction survives and thrives in groups. Remember that.
Had a Horrible bend this last weekend, will be my last drink. I have realized I can no longer pretend. Thank you for your videos they have been a great source of inspiration.
do believe the last drink was June 22,2024. It was two fruity wine boxes on the way to detox. I got there, sobered up and haven't had anything since. The withdrawal wasn't anything. I was medicated but I hadn't been drinking that long so I don't know how bad it might have gotten. With my kindled brain I wasn't taking any chances. To those that don't understand why a person would "enable" an alcoholic by supplying them with a drink during withdrawal, that is the way alcoholics were brought down before the advent of something like Paraldehyde - even in a hospital. Some still have beer on hand. I brought my former girlfriend down with wine shots given at hourly intervals and no more until she felt better. That was because she refused to go to the hospital or treatment. So I wasn't "practicing medicine without a license" she was the one who drank it. I just withheld it until it was time for a "dose."
10 days sober and I’m having to deal with emotions I’ve been pushing away for a long time but it’s different this time I’m not really afraid of myself no more
My last drink happened after 120 days sober, November 2024. Yes its important to me to say last drink because thats what it has to be. Ive been at this on off sober drunk for 20 years. 2024 was a good year for sobriety for me. Overall I had more days sober than drunk. This year has started well, no alcohol. I find myself being drawn to Church reading theology for comfort praying for a higher power to help to give me strength. I do feel happier hopeful and free. Horrible habit don't know why it's taken so long to accept that sobriety is the only option. Sleeping a pattern is tough just now awake all night sleep til 3pm. I want a purpose out in the World a job. Being alone is tough boring and sad but it is what it is. I'm sober 1st priority the rest should follow. Good luck out there❤
I can't remember my last drink but I can remember my last relapse which was a year & a week ago & that in itself is enough to keep my sober! Plus of course your videos Stu that always bolster my resolve. I do remember my middle of the night walks to the petrol station, which I drive past on a daily basis & it never fails to remind me that if I drink again I will play that tape out again & again & again! As always Batman thank you!
I'm not an alcoholic, but most of my family, especially the older generations are and were. I find comfort in an admittedly odd sort of way from your content. It feels like listening to my grandpa's younger self tell me about his life story in a way. My grandpa's a huge talker, always has been, and he's been in recovery for over 30 years. I don't know. I'm not here to judge. Just listen. Thanks.
Crazy how many people are going through this right now And when it comes to last ones, my experience is much like when i got off heroin. I probably had a hundred "one last line" if you know what i mean. I think you aren't ready until you're ready for yourself
Thank you so much for haring your experiences, it helps me understand why I simply should not drink. For me it seems drinking and how much I like it, would put me on a path towards eventual destruction.
Yesterday, sunday nite I really hope was my last drink forever, 2 bottles wine 8%, and four cans of lager. Bed at 3am. Woke up at 8am, knowing it was gonna be a rough Monday to get through, no headache, just the awful sickly nausea it lasted till 6pm. The excessive saliva in mouth, grinding of a stomach cramp, thinking your gonna be sick. Just managed a biscuit wafer, a banana, cup tea, and chicken soup. If there is a spiritual power, please no more of the drinking obsession, Ive had enough. Now its time to deal with life and grow up and suck it up, and get on with stuff!
My last drink was cheap , disgusting cider. I was with another alcoholic who really didn’t want me to stop drinking, who I’d had this co-dependent , toxic alcoholic relationship with. She knew I’d stopped drinking but would still try and get in my house 2 years into my sobriety. She’s still drinking. I’m over 4 years abstinent now . For anyone who has similar issues, stick with it because they do eventually go away .
Oh, I am also 6 months sober now. And I survived Christmas, New year, Russian (Orthodox) Christmas (which is my birthday also). Doing good. But staying alert.
Yeh, I absolutely do place a lot of significance on these kinds of things - for me what I believe to be my last ever drink was at midnight on 31st December 2024. That was a bottle of Prosecco, which I didn't particularly enjoy! I'd decided at that point I wanted it to be the last, but I didn't know whether I could stick to it or not. Managed so far but still getting very strong cravings in the evenings. Apart from that I don't regret this decision at all, I've been here once before and the feeling of calm and serenity that falls once alcohol has left the building is like nothing else. Best of luck to everyone :)
@@_BatCountry Ha ha! Thanks mate :) I've had some nice sparkling wines in the past but this wasn't one of them - do wonder how much of that was psychological but I'm glad I didn't enjoy it, a good one to finish on. I like to think of it now as something I'm allergic to - other people can enjoy it without problems, I can't.
My last drink ever was the first day of the rest of my life❤️🙏🏼 super thankful to have gone through the hell I went through, the pain, the suffering. To be here today. 328 days sober! Please don’t end up like me though, I almost lost my life to that hell. Please seek help if you need it. You got this, you are not alone❤️
If you want to drink you will drink again. It’s only a matter of time. I relapsed after 20 years sober and had about a 4 month binge where I craved it. But eventually the urge to drink left again and I’m now a month sober. It’s not easy, this is the devils playground.
I dont remember my last drink even though it was 4 months ago. But that really just goes to show what a waste it was that i cant even remember what or how much i had
Yes! Date time and taste 7-5 years ago. Last and only mini relapse after 14 day residential hospital detox. After 40 years of Olympic level drinking..... Keep up the good work please Bat
I think my last one was hair of the dog drinking the day after I'd been out for a couple with old mates which turned into staying up half the night drinking at a friend's and waking up on his sofa. I was so anxious I walked into town and started drinking in the pub, and then walked home and drank on the way. Been just over three weeks off it now anyway.
I used to drug binge and had extended periods during and after coming down where I'd be having horrific delusions and hallucinations, and feeling like my heart was going to stop. Weird how similar to alcohol withdrawal it seems on the surface. I always saw maggots/worms/bacteria wriggling around on every surface and when I closed my eyes. Every time.
As someone who enabled destructive behavior of a spouse (not substance, though), I think I knew how she felt. The fear of disappointing, of conflict, of tears or curses. Also, recognition that smoothing this over will take even worse destruction. Recognition that stop comes from the person in trouble, but they have to get there in as much of one piece as possible. Side note, why still girlfriend? No rush, but you do have interest in each other.
The last time I drank was Aug 26 2021. The 2nd-to-last time I drank was the previous Saturday night. I told myself that Saturday that it would be one last time and that I had no other reason to drink than just for one last time. Then Tuesday or Wednesday comes along and I am thinking that I didn't like my sobriety date being on a Sunday (cliche, associated with God, etc). So that Tuesday/Wednesday, I decided I only have two more reasons left...change my sobriety date and one-last-time. That day was different from all my other previous attempts...I felt something shift and there was this inside "knowing" that it was truly done. I knew that after that last binge, my last excuse was used up and done and that I no longer had anymore reasons to drink. I listened to Craig Beck The Stop Drinking Expert on youtube and started low carb dieting (that helps with cravings) and allowing myself green stuff if I wanted. I had developed a better mindset and with my past with drinking, I realized I really didn't have any business drinking. Journaling really helped. I've had times I think about drinking, so I just write down pros and cons list and seeing things objectively on paper really helps.
Last drink (I have to believe)… three plus years ago. I left (yet another) hospital detox against medical advice. Went to a store and bought some beer and drank two 24 oz cans. Lager. Didn’t do much. Then I got a call from a psychologist/therapist I had been seeing who insisted on seeing me that afternoon. Then my girlfriend got involved. Both of us went to see her immediately and I managed to dodge a full blown relapse. I’ve been sober since. The day after that beer (and the sedatives administered in the hospital the week prior), is my Sobriety Date. 😅
I was at a family wedding recently. I was drinking of course but my partners brother in law was drinking zero alcohol beer. My partner said to me why don't you drink non alcohol beer like Simon. You might like it. That's how much understanding I get. Total respect for your girlfriend.
I have manipulated many people that loved me to buy me alcohol. They really really didn't want to, but I made them believe it was to stop me suffering withdrawal and I'm going to quit tomorrow...
Great video, loved this. I wish I could remember what my last drink was. I mean, it was obviously vodka, it was always vodka for me, but what cheap brand and what size bottle? No idea. I like your idea of framing the little shooter and keeping it on your desk. The time period surrounding my last drink is so fuzzy in my mind, though. Little details like this are just out of reach for me. I guess I’ll never know what my last drink was, because I’m determined to never drink again. So it goes.
I agree with everything BC is saying. I’d like to share a story. I woke up. “Never drinking again”. I had my red light on. I went into the kitchen. I made myself a green drink. Immediately after, my hands started shaking. Then my head. It was so bad. My Husky walked into the kitchen. And I was like, “what are you doing in here?” Confusion. So what did I do? I’ve fallen, I’ve said things to people, but that was the worst. Never again.
Not an alcoholic but a lifetime enjoyer of alcohol....we watch to remind us of what awaits if we like it too much. Keep up the good work and yeah....Popov. Ick. Nasty.
She definitely wasn't enable you. Put quite simply, her hands were tied, and she made the best of the worst type of situation. I experienced the same thing with my ex. Every time I binged, to avert the impending, dreaded withdrawal, I'd convince her to get me to cheap cans of horrendous white cider. In the end, after 5 years of long periods of sobriety followed by relapse after relapse, she could take no more and ended it. I'm now 2 years sober. But looking back in retrospect, whilst it was devastating it's the kick up the backside I needed. Losing everything and everyone is the prerequisite to sobriety for some of us. Keep making the videos bro, they're truly inspirational and motivational!!!
I'm with you. I also lost everything, my marriage and home but it still took me a further 2 years to get sober. In the end I did it for me and me alone. I wish I'd done it sooner, but I couldn't despite trying and we can't change the past. At least we now have a future. 🫶
@@roseadams5362Sorry to hear that it cost you your marriage. Something like that is traumatic at the best of times, but dealing with alcoholism and divorce simultaneously must have been unimaginably difficult. But, on the flip side of the coin, I can only imagine how proud you must be of your sobriety. Additionally, every day, week, month and year of sobriety are truly a blessing, and long may it continue for all of us.
2017, September. A local wine and dessert place with the girl I loved. The restaurant closed for good not long after and so did our relationship. Didn’t seem like the kind of night I could top.
I relapsed after 5 months a week ago. Went on a 4 day drunk. It did not feel rewarding it felt shameful and dirty did not enjoy it. Didn't feel like how I imagined it or remembered.. The last drink I was moderating becasue I had work in the morning so I had roughly 10 drinks didn't feel drunk so as one does I drove to the store got a six pack slammed it and still felt empty and unsatisfied. Woke up tossing turning and sweating nauseous that morning hungover more anxious and depressed than when I was sober (obviously). Decided I never want to start my day off again feeling that all too familiar way. I remind myself of a fellow I met at a detox centre who was severely jaundiced only 30, five years older than myself who will likely die of this wretched disease who had just went thru DTs. That is not a place I want to end up. At my worst it was a litre of vodka a day just to feel ok. No way to live. Won't miss the compulsion of racing to the store every time I ran out and the panic of running out.
I know now, after many years trying to convince myself otherwise, that if I take just one drink, I will spiral out of control very quickly! Once I get a taste or even a sniff of booze, there is no stopping me; I just have to take my drinking to extremes!! I don't think the craving for alcohol will ever leave me completely. I still crave it every now and then even though I've been sober for quite some time now. That's alright though because all that matters is how I respond to the temptation. I can either give in or resist it, and these days I choose to resist it! My last drink was Coors Original (sometimes referred to as Coors Banquet) lol. I bought a 12 pack in an attempt to taper off, which never worked for me. It did take the edge off for a few hours, but eventually I fell into full blown withdrawal shortly after.
Yo Bat Country, you are one of the biggest reasons I got sober and do my best to maintain sobriety. You are the most eloquent yet raw sober individual that I have had the pleasure of encountering. You are a warrior and a poet. My last drink was five days ago, on my birthday, after four months of sobriety. I was disappointed in myself, but your videos gave me the motivation to focus on sobriety and my health. Please keep making videos. You really are making an impact on people's lives.
True..
I don’t remember my last drink. But I remember waking up the next day saying “that was my last drink”. Almost 12 years ago.
1 year, 3 months and 8 days sober here - best decision ever
I wonder if I'm too early in declaring my last drink. It was 38 days ago. I had constructed a vague plan to run out of alcohol and not buy more. There was some strategy to it, here in Finland it is not allowed, by law, to sell alcohol past 9pm from stores. I had zero interest in going to a bar or a club to continue the bender, I drink alone. It was Saturday and early in the day I came to the "scary" conclusion that I would run out of alcohol before evening even. I ended up getting bunch of 0.5l cans of Long Drink, and thankfully not another bottle of liquor. My final drink was the last swig from the bottle of bourbon, that I was so worried wouldn't last till the end of the day, finishing it finally past 9pm. I crashed into bed, woke up the next day, got rid of the enpty bottles and cans, got some snacks, foods and stuff to get through the withdrawal.
I just recently got done with the post binge/post withdrawal mental turmoil of irritability, depression and such, and now have gone into the pink cloud. Pink cloud was what did me in the last attempt at sobriety. Now, with my guards manually kept up and with the help of aa, I'm hopefully going to get to call that final swig of bourbon the last drink of my life.
Sober for almost 7yrs then relapsed for a year. Almost 6 months sober again. Last drunk was atrocious. So so so sick. Humiliated, ashamed, and defeated. Today I feel wonderful but it's a struggle. Alcohol is demonic. Love to all who are suffering. You can get sober.❤
Thanks for sharing that mate, and congrats on getting back on your feet.
Thank you so much for your amazing videos. You have such a calming voice & totally understand about alcoholism. I have finally had enough & put the drink down, its only day 3. My last bout of sobriety was for 10yrs, stupidly i thought it could be different. For me like yourself, i can never safely drink. Thanks again..love listening to you.
I've been watching all your videos man, it's great hearing a perspective I identify with. Struggling to quit drinking since the New Year, going to detox tomorrow.
Thank you mate. Good luck with the detox, I hope it sticks for you.
Thanks for sharing, missed this kind of longer story content.
You nailed it when you said alcohol is sadistic. I'm in the middle of a relapse now. I hope it's my last drink I never remember
Keep trying
Here's my last drink story. I drank all day every day for five years. I farted around in AA for 3 years after that, relapsing to varying degrees two or three times a year. My last relapse lasted for a few weeks, drinking morning noon and night, and suddenly quitting plunged me into alcoholic hallucinosis and DT which landed me in the hospital for three days. It was a terrifying and life-changing hallucinogenic experience, far more convincing and confusing than even the weirdest acid trip. The delusions were indistinguishable from reality. I went to the hospital despite fearing the costs I'd incur because the alternative was deleting myself, and I thought long and hard about those options. After I got out of the hospital I still wanted to drink, but I had learned about the kindling effect and realized that I'd had DT-adjacent symptoms before but just didn't know it at the time, and I knew it would be worse next time. When I did relapse again, I couldn't shake the worry that if I drank the way I normally did, I would re-encounter the hallucinations that had left such an impression on me. I couldn't enjoy the reckless abandon anymore; I wasn't having fun, I was just mad that I was half-drunk. The thrill was gone and replaced with existential fear. So I finished a six-pack of beer and then hung it up for good-- two years sober this May.
Congrats my friend!
Well done man 2 yrs is an epic effort. I want to say that. 1yr then 2yrs etc etc
Fighting with my alcohol dependency, by being sober now for 12 days. I decided to stop using, because it really isn't the answer to my struggles with ADD & autism. I will just aim to drink more water and eat healthier foods. Sometimes having some snacks & soda to reward myself. Running has been my passion for almost two years now & I will not ruin my self with alcohol anymore. There will come a time, when my body won't be able to fight off that dependency as greatly & so it's important to stop now when I'm young. Everyone who reads this: I know it's hard to quit your personal addictions, but I also know that you have in you the fight to stop & start a new better chapter for the future! Love from Finland
This is the first of your videos that I have ever watched, and I found it so intriguing that I subscribed. I somewhat remember my last drink, about ten months ago. It was nothing remarkable. It was on a Saturday evening. I told myself that the next day would be my last spent drinking. Sunday morning rolled around and I noticed that there was only an inch or two of vodka left in the bottle. Knowing that that would nowhere near satisfy my daily drinking routine, I opted to simply pour it down the kitchen sink. Now this is certainly not the first time I have quit drinking, but this time is different. I used to abstain from alcohol because my doctors recommended that I stop or knowing that it just wasn't good for me. The benefit of sobriety always seemed like it was somewhere to be enjoyed off into the future. And thus, I always relapsed because I simply hated being sober. But this time I have a daily appreciation for being dry and free. The benefit of not drinking is not in some far away place. I now value it every morning I wake up, throughout my day and when I bed down at night. Thank you for producing such a fine channel.
Nearly relapsed this morning, I needed this reminder
tomorrow morning you will be thankful you didn't.
@Nickelodeon81 I'm already thankful that I didn't just a couple hours later, I would have been obliterated and any joy I got from the initial relapse would be gone. One day at a time.
Close to 5 yrs without and almost slipped up last month. I'm glad I didn't and glad you did not.
good that you didn't
Im currently losing my job and my mind
I drank a half fifth of gin in a straight shot and passed out for long enough to experience my first withdrawal. This was December 19th of last month and it so far has scared me sober. The withdrawal had me experiencing hallucinations, insomnia, and an anxiety that is indescribable. I found your channel and your experiences have played a part in helping me stay sober. Thank you for that.
Sorry to hear that experience, it must have been rough. It's very confusing for a long time, so I hope sobriety sticks for you. Once you've gone through that stuff, you've crossed an invisible threshold, and you need to be very vigilant about it from now on. Congrats on your sober time though - you made it nearly a month across the holiday period. That's the hardest part behind you.
Wow. It sounds like you have lived one hell of a life. Lots of good times, but also lots of deeply horrific ones as well. You are truly an inspiration. Love you man.
I went for vodka for my dad when he was in the depths.
He had drunk himself to where he could not walk, lived on his couch.
I would object, ask if he was sure.. resist lightly, but, in the end it was his choice.
I wanted to respect his right to self-determination.. to choose his own path.. even the bad one, otherwise it is not a choice.
He ended up passing away to the deterioration of his 'innards' from massive over consumption.
Not a great way to go... at age 56.
having my last drink right now... tired of this shit and just wanna be happy again. keep up the great work bro
Persevere mate. The grass actually IS greener on this side.
You can do it. Get medical help if weining doesn't work. You can do it.
Did you stop at that one? It's so tough.
Take the 666 out of your username m8. That number is of the devel.
Follow through. We believe in you.
One shot of the vodka is too much, 100 shot is not enought.............true as hell....................im sober 40 days thankgod for now
Damn that was powerful. You're absolutely right, we as addicts NEVER consider the collateral damage, it's always just about us.
Your story is remarkably similar to mine - relapses, multiple hospitalizations, rehabs, detoxes, severe withdrawal, seizures and psychotic breaks - and so serves to remind me of how bad addiction to alcohol (and in my case opiates and crack) can get. Yet, that's how bad it had to get until I couldn't take it anymore. I was very sick both mentally and phsyiologically.
I have largely regained my health during the past 15 years and am now eternally grateful that my memories of drinking equate to nightmares. And, while I've told my story many times, and tried to imbue it with the horror that characterized my final 5 or 6 years, I realize now that telling my story in the belief that it might deter others is likely pointless. I'd heard all the horror stories others told over the course of my 30 some years in and out of rehabs and AA meetings. Another person's nightmare story might make an impression on me but it never stopped me from carrying on, largely because those things hadn't happened to me. I was different and would be until they did happen to me.
Fear is a strong deterrent but the fear must be great enough to dissolve any illusion that a drink would make things better. I know, for me, that drinking leads only to places I never want to return. Consequently, drinking really isn't an issue in my life anymore. I live comfortably, contentedly and creatively, and I laugh a lot. I wouldn't trade that for anything. But it took me a long long time and I was lucky to have survived so I could discover the life that I was capable of leading. I now believe that If hearing somebody else's horror story worked to deter the active alcoholic, we would have solved the problem. There's nothing rational about addiction, so hoping somebody engaged in irrational behaviour might rationally compute that my story could one day be theirs, is itself irrational. Still, thanks for the share.
9 months ago, I swore to God that I would never drink again after looking in the mirror and saw that my eyelids were black and starting to turn yellow. I got through 2 days without drinking and started to feel better, then that day a drank a can of beer and immediately went to the bog to throw it up(to get it out of my system). That was my last ever drink.
Even last night, I had a nightmare that I hit the bottle again, but I'm doing pretty good.
It took years before I stopped having that dream that I got wasted and everyone was pissed off with me or I was trying to hide from them. I still get those dreams once in a while, usually during sleep paralysis.
The "terrible beating administered by alcohol" is what I think about, rather than my last drink. The real significance, for me, was the internal surrender that shifted the focus from "not drinking" to being "set free". The very moment I conceded to myself that "I" was the root problem, was the moment I began to recover.
Alcohol is rarely a part of my consciousness, because I was ready to literally do the footwork. THAT has not changed, and is the crucial element in why I continue to live in abundance. "We do not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it". Yes, I remember some of my "last" drink, but not with a resentment or disdain, or melancholy, but as the catalyst for a new life.
Thank you Stu for providing a platform for thoughtful and measured discussion, which I will be engaged in later this morning...in person. I woke up with the winning lottery ticket today...SOBRIETY. Physical, but most importantly, EMOTIONAL. ✌❤ Mark
Yeah that change in psychology is so crucial - it takes time to learn that sobriety is not a sacrifice, it's an advantage.
@@_BatCountry "Bring the body, and the mind will follow". 🙂
Its very hard going over the stuff you can’t forgive yourself for. But hearing it helps a lot of people. Thanks for the videos and help.
I found your channel late last night and have watched about 8 hours since then, 7 of that last night into the small hours. This has been a bloody revelation to me in the content, the details that i thought I'd never understand or even believed happen, the timing most of all. The timing....
I have struggled for a few years now with severe alcohol abuse to myself. I left a very long comment on the Sebastian video but to recap, i am an alcoholic, one of my three best friends drank himself to death at 36. He was a year younger than me and I'm now 54. Ive always enjoyed a tipple but in the last 10 to 12 years it got increasingly worse as various situations messed with me and in the last few years my drinking got ridiculous. Things in my life got even more effed up which just exacerbated the alcohol abuse. I did stop for a year at least twice in the last few years and for 6 months after i was rushed into hospital with heart failure after running myself into the ground work wise and in my private life and all of this neatly reinforced with too much booze. So yea, i have a heart condition and diabetes too. Did that stop me? For 6 months, yes as my mom looked after me at my childhood home for 6 months then literally the evening i moved into my new flat to begin again, i put my bags and my beloved cat down on the floor then went out straight away to get fags and booze. And it never stopped. I realised i was going too far and in the last two or three months stopped drinking vodka and bourbon and told myself it was fine because i was only having a couple of cans of beer most nights or a bottle of wine twice a week. The beast was dead or dying at least. To my eternal shame i even told my other best mate that id given up. And for a while i HAD , a month maybe then i realised i could'nt have a fag without a tipple (i said id given up smoking too, and i did briefly but relapsed and didn't tell him) And the kicker came last week when i had a little tiny bit more money than i thought i had left before my next lot came in so i decided to buy a bottle of vodka for a farewell fandango so to speak, one last fling before eternal sobriety. And a bottle of wine added for good measure. I drank two thirds plus a bottle of wine that night and the very next day , a 35cl vodka or half a proper bottle and TWO bottles of wine and that was my spare moolah gone. That was early last week and THAT night i polished off the rest of the big bottle AND the small bottle and a bottle of wine plus a glass of the other bottle. My justification was that i was catching up on university challenge and only connect and prove i still had a brain even when caning it. So friday afternoon i had one glass of wine left which i enjoyed with a ciggie then i NEARLY, NEARLY went to get just one more bottle of cheapest aldi wine but thankfully i couldn't be bothered to go out in the rain so that has been my last tipple. 5 days ago. And i won't lie.... ive just got a part time job for the first time in ages just before xmas and next week i get my first pay. I have been excited to stave off buying food for a few days to get ONE FINAL BOTTLE of vodka to reward myself for finding a part time job. Yea. Pathetic. And co.ing across your videos has hopefully given me some steely resolve to make this one actually count and get myself back to a position of relative health, peace of mind (a lot of CBT this year ) and self improvement and get back to the person i was once. So thank you. This feels almost fated!!! 😅
Apologies.... I didn't mean to be so long winded.... I just wanted to express my appreciation for finding this channel and the timing for me. Thanks to you and everyone in the comments who have really helped my intentions and resolve.
Im currently losing touch with time, i didn't go to work for 5 days and i am losing it
I actually loved this Romantisized Rock bottom ,pls keep them coming,i live for this xx
Got close to 5 yrs and i almost slipped up. Was talking to my buddy that made it 13 yrs then slipped and back at it hard again. As someone who's quit a dozen times. Don't test yourself with 1 drink
Sorry to hear that mate. You'll get it again.
My last drink? The morning of September 19, 2021. I had just blown a promotion opportunity at work and had been to my first recovery meeting a week prior; I knew I was firmly fucked at this point but was unable to help myself from ordering myself my weekend 25 pack on the Saturday just before and had a small handful left over. I'd done a lot worse than blow a promotion in my pre-sober life but that one, because of my immense ego and equally immense insecurity, got my attention. I knew if I didn't stop drinking I would, at best, be a mildly successful family shame and more likely dead, homeless, alone, or all 3. Been sober since and it's been the best, and the hardest, and the most revealing, and the most educational 3.5yrs of my life. Thanks for what you do here and your approach to this niche of content in general. Cheers. 🎉
I have come to the sad conclusion there are a limited amount of times to quitting
Thats very true, after a thousand times i start to fade..
Head up bud. I thought the same. I drank for 30 years. Tried "quitting" the last 20 years. Over 30 rehabs, multiple psych wards, prison, jails, homelessness, loss of children, marriages, family, jobs, freedom, sanity, completely hopeless. I am now sober. Not every day is rainbows and lollipops but it's a damn sight better than alcoholic hell. We are done when the pain becomes too great.
I fully understand why you might come to this conclusion, but I must politely disagree.
My son suffers seizures when he withdraws from alcohol. If youve seen someone you love suffer from addiction you will do anything to prevent suffering. Including giving them alcohol.
If you have ever been there, this is about as accurate description you will get.
I still have the nausea when I hear or recall it, I'm hoping it stays.
I had severe consequences from my last drink, my then partner and all around withdrew from my life.
I am sober for quite some time now and repairing my life , that last drink took me to a ward in a foreign country quickly.
Life is definitely better sober, nothing is constant but at least I can be my genuine self.
Thanks for the videos stay well 👌
After my second dui, august 13th 2024, left my first court appearance and walked to a local sushi bar in Salem MA. Ordered two rolls and a Sapporo. Only managed to eat half of what i ordered. The roof of my mouth was to cut up for some reason. Only finished half my beer and from there it’s been over 5 months and will be going to that same court house next week for trial.
My dad just passed a month ago due to alcoholism. Your video aimed at loved ones explaining the alcoholic-psyche helped me understand him. As a result, we had a better relationship until he suddenly passed and I also accepted the very last phone call to me that he was going to make. I'm grateful that I wasn't bitter towards him in the end. Thank you
You poor man. The hardship you went through is heartbreaking. Thanks for sharing in incredible detail. Best
So many lost days, finding myself in unexpected places and hospitals but this video makes me recall my last binge and then withdrawal 16 months ago. It's important to recall it in detail as you do here, as the passing months soften and blur the horror of it all. We must all remember our last drink or at least drinking episode because without that we risk losing sight of how bloody brilliant sober life is. Thanks Stu 🌹
For the past 2 months i've been going go bed everynight listening to Leftfield 'leftisim'. 6 days ago i started listening to bat country video's. I can pay this channel no higher compliment.
Last drink was new years eve 24'.
Made many mistakes over the years but got the know how and desire lately. Feel good about this time. Gotta want it. Peace.✌️
Thank you for this🤍 This video makes me want to have that final drink memory. Keep at it✊🏻
I know a Guy who would drink a pint like it was a shot, last time I saw him,I was seeing him off in an ambulance because he had obvious internal bleeding.
Thank you for doing this video. Good timing.
Great work as always Stu, honest to a tee. I am not alcoholic and never have been but I learn where possible from the honesty of others. I appreciate your work brother and send felicitations to a fine man.
3 1/2 months here. Man, your videos were extremely helpful and motivating the first month of being sober. Really helped me, keep it up brother! My last drink was Jim Bean at the hospital, I went in because I was losing my mind I think I was close to delirium tremons as I look back at it. I knew the wait to get treated was going to be a while, In the waiting room twice I started to freak out and I would run to the bathroom and take a shot. Life is so much easier and nicer sober:)
I can dig the last drink symbolism. It's something to visualise at 3:26am.
Yes indeed.
thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart for your videos
Amazing for putting this out brother
No importance on my behalf - every time I momentarily get sober, I intentionally forget my last drink, whether it was mouthwash, $200 Scotch or vanilla essence. Doesn't seem to help, mind you.
that vanilla extract shit was nasty but still not as bad as four loko 🤢 967 days here
My last drink was on the way to a meeting - some can of cider - reduced my intake to 1 can a day from like 3-4 liters of wine and stuff. I had a bad headache as well that day and in the end i poured most of the can into a bush so...and i all i felt was being thankful that in that moment everything culminated and i actually stopped.
Well done mate. Long may it continue.
@@_BatCountry soon 2 years.
Listend to your audiobook. Greetings from Almaty) but fell back. Sticking to wine at the moment. But it has to clear out. Looking forward to your next content
I have never been a big drinker. I liked a few beers after work (an Australian habit 😊) Getting to my 60’s I just gave up drinking because I just didn’t get any enjoyment out of it. Even with my level of drinking - once stopped- the improvements were great - good sleep etc etc So the reason for sharing my situation and subscribing to your channel is for the following reasons
1) I find your style is incredibly interesting and you have a brilliant way of sharing your experiences
2) I truly appreciate the insights you share
3) you are doing a fantastic job of helping other people in a similar situation
So - if you get my attention, you are probably doing a better job helping others than you realise
Keep it up - you are a natural
My last drink was about 11 o’clock at night on 13 January this year. Once again, this is my first day of sobriety, I feel pretty great today better than I have in a long, long time. I know my boyfriend would definitely be considered to enable me in my alcoholism. From what I can tell, he does it because he loves me and he knows I’m going to be sad and bummed out and anxious if I don’t get to drink. He doesn’t wanna be around that and he doesn’t want me to feel like that. I think that’s the reason he allows for drinkingthat he would prefer didn’t occur. Here’s to that last sip of lukewarm beer to being my last for good.
I hope it sticks, because it sounds like the anxiety is the problem that needs to be addressed. A lot of us stay in the bottle for that reason.
@_BatCountry for sure my lack of adult coping skills! Thank you, I'm glad you're still going strong.
A week ago , red wine , almost a full bottle , I’m always trying to give up , started age 13 , 52 now
Whenever I get alcohol cravings I watch you, Sober Leon and Shoenice re-uploads (that guy had serious issues btw)
I've not drank often but stress at work being bullied made me just reach out to the bottle and drink ! I don't relapse or to be hospitalised just sheer being comforted by beer . Do I feel good yes because it's masked the thoughts of the initial problem
Just got discharged from detox from alcohol abuse. It was either that or jail. And even though it was forced on me I took the time to reflect. As I was laying there with a blood pressure of 195 and doped up to not die I realized it’s time. It’s time to straighten up. For myself, my family and my son. I’ve been watching your content for some time now. But I’d always have a bottle in my hand wishing “if only I could just stop” and I’m glad I was forced to. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom I suppose
Damn, dude. I'm glad you're ok. To be fair, you didn't know that bottle would be your last drink. Keeping it probably would have done more harm than good in the short term.
I know if I made videos every few days and “lived” in my past and milked it publicly, I’d prob start drinking/using again eventually. I finally beat alcoholism after I quit going to AA meetings and living in it all. I just don’t drink, it’s not part of my identity like it was attending AA for 12-13 year’s religiously. I eventually always relapsed no matter how big of a smile I wore and in spite of how entertaining my story was. Maybe it’s not the same for everyone, but my need for approval and acceptance is no longer important to me. Being sober and happy is. Fuck the fakeness. No thx. 💯🙏😊
I genuinely appreciate you seeing through all of that BS. Support groups of kinds are where people go to worship the beast of addiction. Of course, the only time alcohol dependent people want to drink is after a meeting. It's like dangling a meatball in front of a hungry dog.
Recovery simply comes down to a commitment to lifetime abstinence and recognizing The Addictive voice as separate from you. That voice in your head that tells you to drink even though it goes against your better judgment, and you just go do its bidding and drink. Addicted people are not their addiction and they are not that voice in their head. Once people begin to realize this, the world of addiction will look very different.
I will never drink again no matter what happens is a plan for the future that will breed success. Not one day at a time. That's no way to quit anything you love. Addiction survives and thrives in groups. Remember that.
Had a Horrible bend this last weekend, will be my last drink. I have realized I can no longer pretend. Thank you for your videos they have been a great source of inspiration.
do believe the last drink was June 22,2024. It was two fruity wine boxes on the way to detox. I got there, sobered up and haven't had anything since. The withdrawal wasn't anything. I was medicated but I hadn't been drinking that long so I don't know how bad it might have gotten. With my kindled brain I wasn't taking any chances. To those that don't understand why a person would "enable" an alcoholic by supplying them with a drink during withdrawal, that is the way alcoholics were brought down before the advent of something like Paraldehyde - even in a hospital. Some still have beer on hand. I brought my former girlfriend down with wine shots given at hourly intervals and no more until she felt better. That was because she refused to go to the hospital or treatment. So I wasn't "practicing medicine without a license" she was the one who drank it. I just withheld it until it was time for a "dose."
What was your medication?
@@sebastienricher8671 What medication was used when I detoxed? The last time was Librium.
10 days sober and I’m having to deal with emotions I’ve been pushing away for a long time but it’s different this time I’m not really afraid of myself no more
Thanks for sharing this story
My last drink happened after 120 days sober, November 2024. Yes its important to me to say last drink because thats what it has to be. Ive been at this on off sober drunk for 20 years. 2024 was a good year for sobriety for me. Overall I had more days sober than drunk. This year has started well, no alcohol. I find myself being drawn to Church reading theology for comfort praying for a higher power to help to give me strength. I do feel happier hopeful and free. Horrible habit don't know why it's taken so long to accept that sobriety is the only option. Sleeping a pattern is tough just now awake all night sleep til 3pm. I want a purpose out in the World a job. Being alone is tough boring and sad but it is what it is. I'm sober 1st priority the rest should follow. Good luck out there❤
I can't remember my last drink but I can remember my last relapse which was a year & a week ago & that in itself is enough to keep my sober! Plus of course your videos Stu that always bolster my resolve. I do remember my middle of the night walks to the petrol station, which I drive past on a daily basis & it never fails to remind me that if I drink again I will play that tape out again & again & again! As always Batman thank you!
I'm not an alcoholic, but most of my family, especially the older generations are and were. I find comfort in an admittedly odd sort of way from your content. It feels like listening to my grandpa's younger self tell me about his life story in a way. My grandpa's a huge talker, always has been, and he's been in recovery for over 30 years.
I don't know. I'm not here to judge. Just listen. Thanks.
I can safely say no one has ever said 'you remind me of my grandpa' to me before, I like it.
Crazy how many people are going through this right now
And when it comes to last ones, my experience is much like when i got off heroin. I probably had a hundred "one last line" if you know what i mean. I think you aren't ready until you're ready for yourself
Thank you so much for haring your experiences, it helps me understand why I simply should not drink. For me it seems drinking and how much I like it, would put me on a path towards eventual destruction.
Watch your spelling..
Yesterday, sunday nite I really hope was my last drink forever, 2 bottles wine 8%, and four cans of lager. Bed at 3am. Woke up at 8am, knowing it was gonna be a rough Monday to get through, no headache, just the awful sickly nausea it lasted till 6pm. The excessive saliva in mouth, grinding of a stomach cramp, thinking your gonna be sick.
Just managed a biscuit wafer, a banana, cup tea, and chicken soup.
If there is a spiritual power, please no more of the drinking obsession, Ive had enough.
Now its time to deal with life and grow up and suck it up, and get on with stuff!
This was a great video
My last drink was cheap , disgusting cider. I was with another alcoholic who really didn’t want me to stop drinking, who I’d had this co-dependent , toxic alcoholic relationship with.
She knew I’d stopped drinking but would still try and get in my house 2 years into my sobriety.
She’s still drinking. I’m over 4 years abstinent now .
For anyone who has similar issues, stick with it because they do eventually go away .
my "last drink ever" was 2 weeks ago
we'll see how it goes
Good luck
Oh, I am also 6 months sober now. And I survived Christmas, New year, Russian (Orthodox) Christmas (which is my birthday also). Doing good. But staying alert.
Oh mate, if you can save a russian orthodox birthday christmas, you can survive anything.
Congratulations to you and good luck 🤞.
Yeh, I absolutely do place a lot of significance on these kinds of things - for me what I believe to be my last ever drink was at midnight on 31st December 2024. That was a bottle of Prosecco, which I didn't particularly enjoy! I'd decided at that point I wanted it to be the last, but I didn't know whether I could stick to it or not. Managed so far but still getting very strong cravings in the evenings. Apart from that I don't regret this decision at all, I've been here once before and the feeling of calm and serenity that falls once alcohol has left the building is like nothing else. Best of luck to everyone :)
For what it's worth, no one enjoys prosecco. Congrats on your sober time so far, long may it continue.
@@_BatCountry Ha ha! Thanks mate :) I've had some nice sparkling wines in the past but this wasn't one of them - do wonder how much of that was psychological but I'm glad I didn't enjoy it, a good one to finish on. I like to think of it now as something I'm allergic to - other people can enjoy it without problems, I can't.
No alcool no cigarettes no porn 10 days going
Good luck to you!
Day 15 today. Won't bore you with what has been a very difficult 14 days but I'm not going back.
Also day 15 for me😊, I wish us well.🌻
@@ratelhoneybadger Keep up the good work amigo! :)
My last drink ever was the first day of the rest of my life❤️🙏🏼 super thankful to have gone through the hell I went through, the pain, the suffering. To be here today. 328 days sober!
Please don’t end up like me though, I almost lost my life to that hell. Please seek help if you need it. You got this, you are not alone❤️
If you want to drink you will drink again. It’s only a matter of time. I relapsed after 20 years sober and had about a 4 month binge where I craved it. But eventually the urge to drink left again and I’m now a month sober. It’s not easy, this is the devils playground.
I dont remember my last drink even though it was 4 months ago. But that really just goes to show what a waste it was that i cant even remember what or how much i had
Im on day 11, my emotions are mellowing out, im starting to feel okay, I didn’t sleep the first few days. I hope im able to keep going
Yes! Date time and taste 7-5 years ago.
Last and only mini relapse after 14 day residential hospital detox. After 40 years of Olympic level drinking.....
Keep up the good work please Bat
I think my last one was hair of the dog drinking the day after I'd been out for a couple with old mates which turned into staying up half the night drinking at a friend's and waking up on his sofa. I was so anxious I walked into town and started drinking in the pub, and then walked home and drank on the way. Been just over three weeks off it now anyway.
Congrats in your sobriety mate, long may it continue.
As a man whonis in 3 day drinking period + some coke / lsd while at it... I really understand your point
I used to drug binge and had extended periods during and after coming down where I'd be having horrific delusions and hallucinations, and feeling like my heart was going to stop. Weird how similar to alcohol withdrawal it seems on the surface. I always saw maggots/worms/bacteria wriggling around on every surface and when I closed my eyes. Every time.
As someone who enabled destructive behavior of a spouse (not substance, though), I think I knew how she felt. The fear of disappointing, of conflict, of tears or curses. Also, recognition that smoothing this over will take even worse destruction. Recognition that stop comes from the person in trouble, but they have to get there in as much of one piece as possible.
Side note, why still girlfriend? No rush, but you do have interest in each other.
The last time I drank was Aug 26 2021. The 2nd-to-last time I drank was the previous Saturday night. I told myself that Saturday that it would be one last time and that I had no other reason to drink than just for one last time. Then Tuesday or Wednesday comes along and I am thinking that I didn't like my sobriety date being on a Sunday (cliche, associated with God, etc). So that Tuesday/Wednesday, I decided I only have two more reasons left...change my sobriety date and one-last-time.
That day was different from all my other previous attempts...I felt something shift and there was this inside "knowing" that it was truly done. I knew that after that last binge, my last excuse was used up and done and that I no longer had anymore reasons to drink.
I listened to Craig Beck The Stop Drinking Expert on youtube and started low carb dieting (that helps with cravings) and allowing myself green stuff if I wanted. I had developed a better mindset and with my past with drinking, I realized I really didn't have any business drinking. Journaling really helped. I've had times I think about drinking, so I just write down pros and cons list and seeing things objectively on paper really helps.
Always a pleasure.
Last drink (I have to believe)… three plus years ago. I left (yet another) hospital detox against medical advice. Went to a store and bought some beer and drank two 24 oz cans. Lager. Didn’t do much. Then I got a call from a psychologist/therapist I had been seeing who insisted on seeing me that afternoon. Then my girlfriend got involved. Both of us went to see her immediately and I managed to dodge a full blown relapse. I’ve been sober since. The day after that beer (and the sedatives administered in the hospital the week prior), is my Sobriety Date. 😅
Enjoyed this dead of night video very much
7 days clean and never felt this level of clarity. Combined with semen retention and some blood work (cupping).
Your girlfriend sounds incredible
No critiques. She was trying to help, not enable, otherwise she would have bought a handle.
Yeah that's how I see it too. But it can be hard to explain that to someone on the outside.
I was at a family wedding recently. I was drinking of course but my partners brother in law was drinking zero alcohol beer. My partner said to me why don't you drink non alcohol beer like Simon.
You might like it. That's how much understanding I get. Total respect for your girlfriend.
It’s not your partners responsibility my guy. Best of luck to you ❤
@@end2endburners635 True.
I have manipulated many people that loved me to buy me alcohol. They really really didn't want to, but I made them believe it was to stop me suffering withdrawal and I'm going to quit tomorrow...
Great video, loved this. I wish I could remember what my last drink was. I mean, it was obviously vodka, it was always vodka for me, but what cheap brand and what size bottle? No idea.
I like your idea of framing the little shooter and keeping it on your desk.
The time period surrounding my last drink is so fuzzy in my mind, though. Little details like this are just out of reach for me. I guess I’ll never know what my last drink was, because I’m determined to never drink again. So it goes.
Good luck, Steve! Love your cat btw
Thanks man! That’s my big buddy Jack ❤️
I agree with everything BC is saying. I’d like to share a story. I woke up. “Never drinking again”. I had my red light on. I went into the kitchen. I made myself a green drink. Immediately after, my hands started shaking. Then my head. It was so bad. My Husky walked into the kitchen. And I was like, “what are you doing in here?” Confusion. So what did I do? I’ve fallen, I’ve said things to people, but that was the worst. Never again.
I hear you , no sleep , ever...
My last drink was 27th December my 46th birthday
Had my last drink last night. Hopefully
Not an alcoholic but a lifetime enjoyer of alcohol....we watch to remind us of what awaits if we like it too much.
Keep up the good work and yeah....Popov.
Ick. Nasty.
She definitely wasn't enable you. Put quite simply, her hands were tied, and she made the best of the worst type of situation.
I experienced the same thing with my ex. Every time I binged, to avert the impending, dreaded withdrawal, I'd convince her to get me to cheap cans of horrendous white cider.
In the end, after 5 years of long periods of sobriety followed by relapse after relapse, she could take no more and ended it.
I'm now 2 years sober. But looking back in retrospect, whilst it was devastating it's the kick up the backside I needed. Losing everything and everyone is the prerequisite to sobriety for some of us. Keep making the videos bro, they're truly inspirational and motivational!!!
I'm with you. I also lost everything, my marriage and home but it still took me a further 2 years to get sober. In the end I did it for me and me alone. I wish I'd done it sooner, but I couldn't despite trying and we can't change the past. At least we now have a future. 🫶
@@roseadams5362Sorry to hear that it cost you your marriage. Something like that is traumatic at the best of times, but dealing with alcoholism and divorce simultaneously must have been unimaginably difficult.
But, on the flip side of the coin, I can only imagine how proud you must be of your sobriety. Additionally, every day, week, month and year of sobriety are truly a blessing, and long may it continue for all of us.
2017, September. A local wine and dessert place with the girl I loved. The restaurant closed for good not long after and so did our relationship. Didn’t seem like the kind of night I could top.
I relapsed after 5 months a week ago. Went on a 4 day drunk. It did not feel rewarding it felt shameful and dirty did not enjoy it. Didn't feel like how I imagined it or remembered.. The last drink I was moderating becasue I had work in the morning so I had roughly 10 drinks didn't feel drunk so as one does I drove to the store got a six pack slammed it and still felt empty and unsatisfied. Woke up tossing turning and sweating nauseous that morning hungover more anxious and depressed than when I was sober (obviously). Decided I never want to start my day off again feeling that all too familiar way. I remind myself of a fellow I met at a detox centre who was severely jaundiced only 30, five years older than myself who will likely die of this wretched disease who had just went thru DTs. That is not a place I want to end up. At my worst it was a litre of vodka a day just to feel ok. No way to live. Won't miss the compulsion of racing to the store every time I ran out and the panic of running out.
I know now, after many years trying to convince myself otherwise, that if I take just one drink, I will spiral out of control very quickly! Once I get a taste or even a sniff of booze, there is no stopping me; I just have to take my drinking to extremes!! I don't think the craving for alcohol will ever leave me completely. I still crave it every now and then even though I've been sober for quite some time now. That's alright though because all that matters is how I respond to the temptation. I can either give in or resist it, and these days I choose to resist it! My last drink was Coors Original (sometimes referred to as Coors Banquet) lol. I bought a 12 pack in an attempt to taper off, which never worked for me. It did take the edge off for a few hours, but eventually I fell into full blown withdrawal shortly after.