Fight Gaslighting That's Messing with YOUR Mind
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ม.ค. 2025
- Gaslighters use deja vu, jamais vu, and entraining via semantic satiation to take over you mind and compromise your reality testing. Here is how to fight them back.
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The anger that erupts after extended denial by the abuser of your own lived experience is volcanic. Rage, like you’ve never felt. Which I took to be a positive expression in a way of my spirit refusing to die
I like this perspective of it. But then the question comes, how do you eventually put out the fire and lessen the rage
Itvwill chip away like every emotion. As said it nice to have the ability to feel that anger. @@kiwicatnip
@ it took me a long time to start to steer the ship of rage and resentment in the direction of freedom and peace, and for myself, seeing I needed to rewire my own brain towards what I wanted to feel instead, then I could start to experience emotions and perspectives not shaped by those destructive energies. Meditation and sheer will to escape a lifetime of continuing to abuse myself have been the most helpful
@@PracticalPeptides 🔥
Think i commonly feel more the opposite, but I'm still here
You just described my family! If you dont accept their reality then you get punished! I am so happy to have almost zero contact with them now! I am feeling much better.
Mine too! You’re not alone. Not by a long shot. I am in the process of emancipating myself from my toxic, Cluster B clown car of a family. I love them, but I will do that from afar from now on, with no contact with some, the lowest contact as possible/grey rocking with some others. It feels so liberating and freeing and empowering. A true act of self love and care and preservation. Congratulations, and more power to you on your healing journey.❤️🔥🙌
After growing up with narcs, it was only in retrospect I could see in retrospect for much of my life I was being gaslit by a series of deeply narcissistic ‘friends’ I felt lucky to have, partly because of the unconscious belief that I was basically a piece of shit and being manipulated and exploited was the best I could hope for. The perfect victim.
They reel you in with compliment or two and then the rest if the time you are being groomed for failure, told what to do and NOT to do with your talents, a wastebasket into which they pour their endless ‘profundities.’ A lot like in a cult but on a smaller scale.
They want you to feel weak, insecure and isolated so that they are your only ‘light.’
Gaslighting is the way they make you into a second fiddle. To feel special. And not threatened. Users.
But whatever!
My god... my mom gaslight me all my life. Thank god that I have (had) a brother to do a reality check with. 🍀
Is this gaslighting a form of induced symbiotic psychosis?
you are the only person I can listen to as a professional myself. I love the way you break things down. I love your voice and listen to you on a daily basis. Thank you for being you!
My mother used "you're being melodramatic", "you're paranoid", on me, and forcing me to apologise, since I was little. I don't 'feel' anything anymore-probably related. When I first refused to apologise / take responsibility, her meltdown was haunting.
Thank you for continuing to provide much needed, well researched, and informed videos despite TH-cam's attempts to take as much profit as possible without passing it on to you as a content creator providing essential health and mental wellness tools. You ground and teach me almost daily on a great range of topics, and you should know that you are providing an immense service. All my gratitude!
Writing it down was the best thing I ever did to extract myself from this situation but even now that voice of doubt surfaces - then i re read what i have written from the past five years But it is still hard to confront them bc of the aggression they exhibit when i do but it’s getting easier to do so Am in process of removing myself totally but at time its hard They are also doing it to my son 😞Thank you professor sam 🙏
Journaling really helped me too; Alongside retrospectively going through memories & gaining the knowledge of behaviour patterns & my own vulnerabilities & propensity to undervalue myself. I thought I'd already done a lot of shadow work prior, but there were plenty of fresh discoveries made & tough realisations about what I'd normalised in relation to others & why...
Ultimately getting you both into a no contact regime is the most important move you could make, alongside undoing any of his influence ✨🙏❤️🩹 It may take time for you both to recover thoroughly beyond the experience 💕
I personally didn't manage to remove my son in time for him not to be infected... The infection occurred after he'd been discarded by a young woman of 'his kind' & during the early days of recovery from that... My ex, under the guise of a recovery workout in his home gym performed what can only be described as a hostile takeover... He was 22 at the time & now he's 24 & unhealed... Completely unable to re-establish his own true interests, hobbies & even his general vibe as a person... Are now a carbon copy of 'them'... I only woke up to what the ex was via mutations of my son during the 'workouts'... But the extreme alienation tactics used to divide us very actively prevented my ability to intervene... Although he did eventually cut contact with him a while after I had... By this time the damage was already done...The ex (I think) was a narcissistic psychopath & had played many games prior that I hadn't understood properly at the time, but I had distanced organically & realised he was his own worst enemy... If only I'd have grasped just how malevolent he truly was sooner 😓
The bit of hope I have is that prior to the double whammy of both individuals he did indeed have a full spectrum of emotions, kindness heart, soul & many interests & hobbies... He was lovely & engaging, with many aspirations ❤️🩹 I pray he's able to eventually break the chains that were wrapped around him & rediscover his true self again 💔 The damage that can be caused by involvement with certain people is heart wrenching 😢
This is fascinating stuff to me personally
Brilliant as usual...
I married the gaslighting King....(prince), programmed by the gaslighting mother, Queen.
He's oblivious to his patterns.
😂😂😂
OMG! I'm dating his sister.
Interesting that the notion of dejavu can occur in the most seemingly common verbal exchanges. When I tell my spouse something that is completely new to her-perhaps an original idea of mine-she’ll often mindlessly say, “Oh, yes. You already told me that.” Or she’ll say she already knows that or she read about it somewhere. I know full well that she never reads and couldn’t possibly have known the unique information I had just shared with her. At the same time her dejavu smacks of gaslighting too. Pretty much everything she says is one form of abuse or another. I interact with her as little as possible to defend against her abusive behavior.
Very helpful, reinforcing guidance! Thank you Prof. Vaknin.
It’s easier said then done. I tried having conversations with my ex-husband with the presence of the therapist. She just let all the gaslighting and even threats happen for the whole hour. I had to discuss important details about parenting our 2-year-old daughter, and the whole time his approach was “you’re being so complicated. We don’t have to have this conversation with someone else, we’re adults, this is ridiculous. No, I’m not watching the kid every Saturday. Since you’re not open for negotiation I’ll have her every other weekend. Yes, I understand you have to work, I don’t know, figure something out. I know you’re doing it alone and I know it’s hard, but if you lowered your pride, you could get more”
The physiologist said nothing
I'm sorry you experienced that, on top of the trauma of that relationship 😕🌸
Your French is magnifique.
@higherlove8886 Yes, very charming. Same as the French who speak English.
And t h E N you called crazy and unwell😂😂😂😂😂 I can’t do this anymore 😢😢😢😢😢
I'm so sorry what youtube is doing regarding ads on your site, I just signed up to pay 14 euros a month to be ad free. So rip off times 2. Somebody needs to start a really free platform.
Thank you.
I suggest to all who are interested in this subject to watch the film "Elegy"...Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz...It left me speechless
THANK YOU. Will watch tonight.
@@irenahabe2855Same 😌
@@adrijanaskorvaga7048... Unfortunately I could not find/play it on TinyZone. 😑
🙏🙏🙏thank you
Question: Dear Professor Vaknin, gaslighting is an activity specific to psychopaths who have a precise goal: to destroy their victim. Narcissists do not have this goal. Their dissociation, amnesia, recurring memory gaps, dissonances, and stories are not gaslighting. However, they cause dissociation, depersonalization, and derealization in their victims, as well as the substitution of the victim's reality for their own. Therefore, they exert a hypnotic influence on their victims, very similar to what gaslighting produces, right? Thanks in advance foryou answer.
Search my main channel.
"It's all in your head" they will say . Then they will say it again, and again. And each time they will say, you believed them . And how could you not? Isn't the idea of realizing that it was not all "just in your head" terrifying? So you look for every excuse. You would rather believe that you're crazy than to believe that they're actually doing what they do to make
you crazy.
Do borderlines gaslight more similarly to narcissists or psychopaths? And is does that typically take place after splitting? Or at any time?
Thanks
Before electricity, we had gas powered lighting. It was extremely expensive, but popular among the rich and useful in public spaces, like theatres. The first gaslight most humans experienced was a play, a manipulation that tries to convince you to enter its reality
Pray for the bullies and the families of bullies... that they make the choice to change before it is too late.
Trump hasn't changed in 80yrs 😢
@richardscathouse Trump? Never heard of her...
Asalamualaikum Thank you for in depth teachings.
I'm wondering if there has to be a base language for these understanding with the sounds or words reaching the reptile brain for this to take place?
It seems that any rhythmic repetition of sounds causes entrainment.
Wife is an inveterate gaslighter. She damaged a locked lock on a gate to our backyard but swore up and down that a prowler had done it. The damage could only have been done from inside the yard which would be impossible for a prowler to access while easy for her to get to. She damaged it but in the face of overwhelming evidence against her narrative she still wanted me to waste my time chasing after a prowler that didn’t exist. I told her that I knew who did the damage and that it wasn’t a snooper trying to enter the backyard. That’s the reality that she tried to steal from me but she failed. This is but one of many examples of her attempts at gaslighting. Incidentally, they all failed.
Thsnk you Sam .
I am curious and wonder if the 'encourager' is conceptually interchangeable ...
TH-cam has become bullsh. Sorry, there are no kind words to find. I was using premium but they upped the costs for it. I do not pay more money for less service.
Narcissists create a Stockholm syndrome effect
The state needs its tax cattle 😢
Now we live in deja là
Holiday commercials to increase consumerism -
Forcing ads in the middle of what you are watching is a blatant boundary invasion & an indicator of how things are pushed at you these days to maintain this lifestyle. It is bullying & it is plain rude also.
Vimeo is an alternative
It did t work with me, I realized what he was doing and got rid of him the next day
The thing is the only way to defend gaslighting is a with more gaslighting so it always spirals…
That's what TH-cam has always been about. 😢
Let's start with Karen's telling me whether my life is worth living or not.😢
White sound...just the same if you train your dog....he doesn't recognize commands.
When I was young I was friends with a looney guy who would constantly rant about people who offended him. He would often use the word "proclivity" to headline his accusations and indictments against others, to the point where I wanted to throw up whenever I heard the word "proclivity." Nowadays I see people like Jordan Peterson hurling veiled accusations at people with the help of the word "proclivity" and I want to call him and tell him to shut up already. But in contrast, I see Sam Vankin occasionally use the word "proclivity" but he only does it to describe circumstances that accurately match the definition of the word ie not as a vehicle for hurling accusations. Thanks for taking back the word "proclivity" for me Sam!
LOL a few times I've encountered other freaks one on one, where they'll start to say "proclivity" as a lead up to an accusation against someone, and I can't help interrupt them by saying "Proclivity is a powerful word. It has three hard consonants, which is only one less than the number of syllables." Thankfully the accuser will realize I'm not interested in playing their game and they shut up about the person they're hating on.
Vaknin.
@nothingnessnonarcissism I sincerely apologize for misspelling. I'll be careful not to mash the buttons so hard from now on.
Have you considered monetizing your channel?
You might as well get something out of what they are already doing.