At the grand age of 47, struggling with life and never fitting into 'normie world', I got officially diagnosed last Friday. It has been part relief and part mourning for not getting the help/support that I have needed and masking and not being my authentic self for all these years. For some reason I do not want to use the phrase: I am autistic/I have autism - i just do not like it. I am not in denial about the diagnosis, but for some reason just saying that I have it causes me pain. Anyway - I have been going to town on your channel and it is validating to me and also resonates. Thanks, Orion - sending best wishes from London.
I'm so glad that you finally found out. ❤ I was diagnosed in January; I'm 44. It's been one heck of a journey so far, finding out "who I am" but I do understand what you mean when you say relief and mourning. That's all going to be part of it and that's OK. Allow yourself to just feel how you feel. It's a process. There has, for me anyway, been sort of a mental rolodex of memories, past situations, ect, that I've gone back over and said "Aha! Now that makes more sense!" and from what I gather that's very normal- figuring it out past tense. It's a lot and learning more about it will bring you more peace the further you go. You'll find yourself- and you'll be able to see your strengths more clearly. I'm just starting to do that too, and I'm sending you all the best for your quest! Love from America. ❤❤
Diagnosed at 54; basically shutdown for weeks as I revisited my entire life viewed through this new lens. Unlike you though, in that I love being able to announce that I am autistic. After a lifetime of being misjudged and misunderstood, I care not one whit what others might think about me being autistic…just so relieved to understand, and finally be able to extend myself grace where before there was tons of self loathing due to thinking of some traits as character flaws (while simultaneously dismissing positive traits and achievement only because I couldn’t overcome the “flaws” through force of will…no matter how hard I tried)
Welcome to the other side! Woo hoo! I'm was late dx'd at 34, almost a year ago now. It's a weird emotional and mental journey, but you asked the hard questions and found the answers and you can use those to approach life however you'd like now. Identify however you'd like. It's a great community here. 🫶🏻 And well done! 🎉
I find it particularly exciting to give a gift unassociated with a birthday or holiday, but rather just because I happened upon something that brings to mind a person that I care about...I fizz with enjoyment knowing that it will both delight them, and is something they wouldn’t necessarily purchase for themselves. And, yes, I also fill every available bit of blank space on a card...laughed when you talked about that; yet another “oh, I’m not the only one!” moment...thank you, Orion
@@amberevol Thank you for sharing that! Fun with semantics has always been a thing for me, and I love it when others can appreciate my particular brand of precision in speaking☺
Always prided myself with some one who has to give the best gift... doesnt have to be the most expensive, just one that always evokes the reaction "I cant believe you thought of this" That said, I never realized that was another "trait" I had. Kind of thought it was just my quick
Ok Orion, this video is going to accompany me to a little family meeting I’m going to have with my partner and daughter to help them understand where I am in my unmasking journey as a newly self-diagnosed, high- masking autistic woman of 55. Thanks for making this video and giving words to this idea. ❤. Appreciate your work and listen to your podcast on my drive to and from work weekly.
With cards, it’s so funny, I love to stamp and make my own cards. And I write a lot in them. I think I’ve bought a store bought card ONCE! Or I’ll write a letter on a page I colored.
@@Autism_Forever this ! I do the same thing. I always do chores that my wife still has to do. Of on saterday my wife and kids just relax while I do the dogs, shopping, laundry and general house stuff. So they van relax. Or do something she needs to do after work, and when she gets home I have done it for her. And that is part of how I show my love and appreciation to her
Another one for me is attempting to find and follow rules for interacting with the person. I actually met a person on facebook that is a professional musician who is autistic in the same way I am. We like music structure and writing in a precise way. He is also very caring and sensitive and he never judges me. We live in different countries but he is a really cool guy.
Me personally there's nothing i would love more than to hug or kiss girls especially ones i love even though i have Autism i have never been the one who wanted to stay away. One of the main reasons was my shyness which prevented me from currently not being a virgin...
That’s not a bad thing! That’s honestly great! There’s a lot of nuance that comes with that and sex can complicate relationships. So just be aware of that! You’ll find your lady!
physical affection is def one of the best things about being in a relationship for a lot of ppl. I've found as a woman that unfortunately a lot of men use us (women) just to get that affection but won't actually invest anything into the relationship or do anything more for us. I can't speak for everyone but a lot of my girlfriends have had this same experience so we are more reluctant to get involved. I'm not saying that's the case with you but I'm just giving perspective from the other side. I've become more shy over the years because of this and I tend to take things really slow now. my boyfriend is neurodivergent (ADD) and we moved really slow, like to the point that he wasn't even sure if I liked him 😅 even tho I liked him a lot 😂 so just be patient and be yourself. good compatibility is awkward and tedious to realize but it's worth the wait to find a good match. 😊
When Orion says that autistic people can feel a strong sense of rejection a d judement from an early age, at what age? And is it just autistic people who have this going on? I ask because i can remember being highly aware of rehection and judgement from my peers and teachers when i was around 4 years old. Everything within the household was just a given, but i couldnt bare to look silly or say or do something wrong that would get me rejected when i first started school. People i have spoken to, talk like it isnt normal for a 4 year old to think the eay I did so i was curious to see if my experience was anything like Orions
That was my experience too… not sure if I’m autistic too but yeah, judgment was crushing and I couldn’t handle the thought of rejection it was terrifying… I think I still struggle with it until today n I’m 30 now
When asks what I wanted for Christmas I gave an exact description and said specifically that I wanted the cheaper version cos it had all the bits and I got the expensive one that was heavy enough to be difficult for me to use.. I just said whatever after that.. was never disappointed again..🙂
I have love me or leave me attitude and do not bother to mask at all. I have been diagnosed at birth. The only way I adjust behavior is by controlling my natural shrill monotone 140 Db voice because I discovered how much harm it does to noise sensitive people.
My ultimate love language is saving people hassles that are a time or brain drain to them and easy for me. I love lightening loads. 😊
Your love language is acts of service?
I do the same :)
Same.
Same
@@Autism_Forever Yes! Except it's more specific. 😆
At the grand age of 47, struggling with life and never fitting into 'normie world', I got officially diagnosed last Friday. It has been part relief and part mourning for not getting the help/support that I have needed and masking and not being my authentic self for all these years. For some reason I do not want to use the phrase: I am autistic/I have autism - i just do not like it. I am not in denial about the diagnosis, but for some reason just saying that I have it causes me pain.
Anyway - I have been going to town on your channel and it is validating to me and also resonates. Thanks, Orion - sending best wishes from London.
I'm so glad that you finally found out. ❤ I was diagnosed in January; I'm 44. It's been one heck of a journey so far, finding out "who I am" but I do understand what you mean when you say relief and mourning. That's all going to be part of it and that's OK. Allow yourself to just feel how you feel. It's a process. There has, for me anyway, been sort of a mental rolodex of memories, past situations, ect, that I've gone back over and said "Aha! Now that makes more sense!" and from what I gather that's very normal- figuring it out past tense.
It's a lot and learning more about it will bring you more peace the further you go. You'll find yourself- and you'll be able to see your strengths more clearly. I'm just starting to do that too, and I'm sending you all the best for your quest! Love from America. ❤❤
Similar experience. I understand you. ❤
Diagnosed at 54; basically shutdown for weeks as I revisited my entire life viewed through this new lens. Unlike you though, in that I love being able to announce that I am autistic. After a lifetime of being misjudged and misunderstood, I care not one whit what others might think about me being autistic…just so relieved to understand, and finally be able to extend myself grace where before there was tons of self loathing due to thinking of some traits as character flaws (while simultaneously dismissing positive traits and achievement only because I couldn’t overcome the “flaws” through force of will…no matter how hard I tried)
@@SkeletalSculptor THIS!!
Welcome to the other side! Woo hoo! I'm was late dx'd at 34, almost a year ago now. It's a weird emotional and mental journey, but you asked the hard questions and found the answers and you can use those to approach life however you'd like now. Identify however you'd like. It's a great community here. 🫶🏻 And well done! 🎉
I find it particularly exciting to give a gift unassociated with a birthday or holiday, but rather just because I happened upon something that brings to mind a person that I care about...I fizz with enjoyment knowing that it will both delight them, and is something they wouldn’t necessarily purchase for themselves.
And, yes, I also fill every available bit of blank space on a card...laughed when you talked about that; yet another “oh, I’m not the only one!” moment...thank you, Orion
@@SkeletalSculptor "fizz with enjoyment" is a lovely way to phrase that! ✨
@@amberevol Thank you for sharing that! Fun with semantics has always been a thing for me, and I love it when others can appreciate my particular brand of precision in speaking☺
Always prided myself with some one who has to give the best gift... doesnt have to be the most expensive, just one that always evokes the reaction "I cant believe you thought of this" That said, I never realized that was another "trait" I had. Kind of thought it was just my quick
Ok Orion, this video is going to accompany me to a little family meeting I’m going to have with my partner and daughter to help them understand where I am in my unmasking journey as a newly self-diagnosed, high- masking autistic woman of 55. Thanks for making this video and giving words to this idea. ❤. Appreciate your work and listen to your podcast on my drive to and from work weekly.
I hope they're just like you
😭... When you're loved by an autistic person, you just feel seen and loved for who you are, as you are (in my experiences).
Orion, you're a good sort😊
I love giving gifts, and getting gifts as well. thank you for addressing it.
With cards, it’s so funny, I love to stamp and make my own cards. And I write a lot in them. I think I’ve bought a store bought card ONCE! Or I’ll write a letter on a page I colored.
If you wake up and I have done your laundry, have cooked your food, and have washed your car, you know that I am madly in love with you :))))
I'd to meet someone like you, 😂😂😂.
@@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334 You might :) just keep in mind - we expect same too :)
@@Autism_Forever this ! I do the same thing. I always do chores that my wife still has to do. Of on saterday my wife and kids just relax while I do the dogs, shopping, laundry and general house stuff. So they van relax. Or do something she needs to do after work, and when she gets home I have done it for her. And that is part of how I show my love and appreciation to her
@@sconnectionSaturday*
@@fionagregory9147 thank you so much for that much needed correction.
I'd love a longer version of this topic. ❤ Please.
Another one for me is attempting to find and follow rules for interacting with the person.
I actually met a person on facebook that is a professional musician who is autistic in the same way I am. We like music structure and writing in a precise way. He is also very caring and sensitive and he never judges me. We live in different countries but he is a really cool guy.
Ways I show love
Me personally there's nothing i would love more than to hug or kiss girls especially ones i love even though i have Autism i have never been the one who wanted to stay away. One of the main reasons was my shyness which prevented me from currently not being a virgin...
That’s not a bad thing! That’s honestly great! There’s a lot of nuance that comes with that and sex can complicate relationships. So just be aware of that! You’ll find your lady!
physical affection is def one of the best things about being in a relationship for a lot of ppl. I've found as a woman that unfortunately a lot of men use us (women) just to get that affection but won't actually invest anything into the relationship or do anything more for us. I can't speak for everyone but a lot of my girlfriends have had this same experience so we are more reluctant to get involved. I'm not saying that's the case with you but I'm just giving perspective from the other side. I've become more shy over the years because of this and I tend to take things really slow now. my boyfriend is neurodivergent (ADD) and we moved really slow, like to the point that he wasn't even sure if I liked him 😅 even tho I liked him a lot 😂
so just be patient and be yourself. good compatibility is awkward and tedious to realize but it's worth the wait to find a good match. 😊
When Orion says that autistic people can feel a strong sense of rejection a d judement from an early age, at what age? And is it just autistic people who have this going on? I ask because i can remember being highly aware of rehection and judgement from my peers and teachers when i was around 4 years old. Everything within the household was just a given, but i couldnt bare to look silly or say or do something wrong that would get me rejected when i first started school. People i have spoken to, talk like it isnt normal for a 4 year old to think the eay I did so i was curious to see if my experience was anything like Orions
Thumbs up because that was me too..❤
That was my experience too… not sure if I’m autistic too but yeah, judgment was crushing and I couldn’t handle the thought of rejection it was terrifying… I think I still struggle with it until today n I’m 30 now
People don't want what they ask for, neurotypical don't. It's a proven fact 😢 💯
When asks what I wanted for Christmas I gave an exact description and said specifically that I wanted the cheaper version cos it had all the bits and I got the expensive one that was heavy enough to be difficult for me to use.. I just said whatever after that.. was never disappointed again..🙂
Its a shame people lie
Do you mean how NT randomly lie?
Acts of service here.
I'm not a gift giver, cards or flowers
I have love me or leave me attitude and do not bother to mask at all. I have been diagnosed at birth. The only way I adjust behavior is by controlling my natural shrill monotone 140 Db voice because I discovered how much harm it does to noise sensitive people.
140Db shrill would bother most people not just ‘sensitive’ ones. Thank you for making the effort
You should really put chapters on these things.
It's only 5 minutes...