011: How Do We Hold Onto Those We Have Lost? Continued Bonds
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 มี.ค. 2023
- Understanding how and why we maintain a continued bond, or connection, with a loved one who has passed away.
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About Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z
In life, we so often avoid the complex and personal expression of grief. The avoidance makes it difficult to explore and share our grief in our everyday lives. Yet, it is a natural and universal human experience.
In Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z, we will be deconstructing and highlighting the different aspects of grief and loss.
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If you found this podcast helpful please share it, subscribe, and leave a rating or review wherever you get your podcasts. We want to be a resource for anyone who is experiencing loss and this is a simple way you can help us spread the word.
If you are struggling with grief and need some professional help we encourage you to find a licensed therapist, and if you can, one who specializes in trauma, death, loss, and grief.
If you are in Delaware you can reach out to The Center for Grief and Trauma Therapy at www.CenterForGriefTherapy.com, or by calling (302) 635-0505
Thank you for your video. Green tea is our linking object. My dad and I used to have that everyday until the day he was admitted to the hospital. I didn't see it coming, either his sickness or his passing. I didn't know he would get worse and passed two months later on 27 December 2022. I was not the same again except I still drink green tea 'with him' every day. I also carry many of his habits with me since he passed.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your father so suddenly. And what a beautiful memory to have to maintain that ritual as a continued bond I wish you lots of healing.
So good to see you sharing this topic humbly and authentic.
Thank you. I feel it is a very important message as many people feel they have to “let go” and “move on.” Those messages are painful and unproductive. We can move forward and bring that love and connection with us in different ways. I appreciate your input!
Thank you. I’ve been writing letters to my wife that passed (January 2024) and it seems to help. My grief counselor said it was a good thing for me to do, I had already started because I felt I needed an outlet for what I was feeling. The intense loneliness is the hardest thing sometimes though. I’ve also noticed that when I cry, it comes up from my toes, the hardest crying I’ve ever experienced.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my boy 3 weeks ago. I’ve never wept until I lost him. I’ve cried in the past, but this is the first time I’ve ever wept.
I can only imagine the sorrow, pain, and loneliness of your loss. This is absolutely a raw and numbing time that, in your case, has you overwhelmed with painful emotions and disturbing, disorienting feelings and thoughts. Keep writing those letters! It's a great way to help staying connected. You also could try writing a letter "back" to your as if it is her response to your letters.
@@browneyedgirl1542 My goodness, only 3 weeks. It must feel like your life has shattered )as it has. Life will never be the same). You'll find a new normal, but it takes a lot of time to process and move forward from the intensity of your grief. Of course you will always grieve, and that's OK. Finding a way to remain connected to him while also returning to life can be extremely challenging!
@@phoenixrisingwithdrz I’ve written a few letters ’from’ Cheri. I knew her for a long time and have an idea what she would say. That has actually helped me. These grief attacks are hard…
Brownies are a linking object for me! My hubby loved brownies!
How interesting to share that similarity. Thank you!
cinnamin buns on Christmas morning are a link to my beautiful son.
Having brownies made every year by me is one way I remain connected to my brother and our memories of our childhood
Brownies are truly a linking object. My Oma would send me to the store to buy various items that included brownie mix. Invariably, I always bought the wrong brand. She was pretty critical, no sense of humor; however, I have always loved cranky folks. I finally picked the right brand (couldn't she just tell me?). She'd send me out, "If they don't have that brand, don't buy it." My mother demands that I buy the same brownie mix that my Oma demanded when alive. Always makes me laugh.
Love you story!! Thank you for sharing this with us all! Your Oma would be touched!
Therapist that I’ve contacted don’t think like you do Dr. Z how do we find one that has the spiritual aspect of it that we want to keep our bond with? My husband recently passed away suddenly. and I’d like to keep the bond
I'm sorry to learn that your attempts at finding support from a therapist who is able to weave in the spiritual aspects of your loss. Don't give up! I know that everyone who works for me is open to talking about spirituality. I mean, what else brings up more spiritual and existential questions than loss??