My sister had Neurofibromatosis and people used to constantly whisper, stare, and point. Kids would stare and my sister always said, "I'd feel better if you asked about how I look instead of assuming or being afraid". She died in 2017 but she was a big believer in "ask if you're uncertain, don't assume or bully. No question is dumb or rude if the question comes from a place of seeking knowledge and understanding."
@@shalacarter6658 thank you lovely. The holidays are always the hardest. I also miscarried my first son in December so this time of year particularly is tough.
The "why are you in a wheelchair if you can walk" question is similar to "why do you drive a bike/car if you can walk". Because you can't walk *that distance* (aside from other reasons of course).
I think this is an understandable confusion since a lot of people associate wheelchairs with having no ability to walk at all due to media (in TV and books i've never seen a character who uses a wheelchair unless they've been like paralyzed from birth or they're drugged in a hospital)
"yeah with the disability of like humongous petticoats" 💀🤣 I was not expecting that level of shade from Claud but so appreciated! Watched it three times!!! 🤣
My favorite part is how 100% true this is!! I'm pretty sure petticoats tie rompers for the most different thing to be wearing in a restroom. *Cosplay I'm not putting in the running because cosplay is a competition to design an outfit that is the least ideal to use the restroom. Plus super complicated cosplay is normally only warn a handful of times a years.
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard another question I thought of when you were talking about migraines and side effects. Do you have access to the new medication for migraines? There are 3 types and you inject them once a month. They are a special kind of antibody they have little to no side effects for most people! I don’t know if it’s available outside of the US yet but I was thinking of you when I heard about it.
I would love to know where you shop for such fabulous vintage-style clothes. You have such a terrific wardrobe that I'm sure they aren't all actual vintage dresses. But somehow I can't imagine either of you sewing them yourselves. (Because of time and energy restrictions rather than lack of ability or skill!)
Your dedication to making sure the captions are good is amazing because like I do that for a living and I don't care how good the technology is, it's always a bit tedious.
Oh my... 😂 😂 😂 I just imagined how tactile braille with lips would work out and about when Jess is always wearing lipstick - there would be traces of her all over Brighton😂😂😂💄
Can we please make a distinction bw asking an influencer online, who is an advocate and educator these rude questions and having an answer and asking a stranger in real life. Asking rude questions to Jessica is fine. Demanding someone in the street or someone you kind of know through work these questions isn't great, and if they don't want to talk about it they aren't being closed minded they just don't want to talk to an ass hole about private matters. Please don't use the fact that she said she will be open minded, will answer these questions and is happy to answer questions, as a way to prove that anyone who doesn't answer calmly and in detail the way you want them to about extremely sensitive info is being bad and closed minded. It is not the job of strangers to educate you, it is part of advocates and educators job, and your job is to not be needlessly cruel to strangers, look it up online later. I recently had someone say I didn't have a right to mad that a complete stranger w/out any permission grabbed my tit bc they wanted to know how well binders had worked, and it is was my job to educate them in detail. And I know that so many people will take her saying that she likes answering questions as a way to educate and be open minded, and apply it to everyone, so if anyone doesn't answer questions, or say it isn't their job to educate is bad. I'm not saying that jessica is bad for saying it, I just know that someone will take it that way, and I gotta nip that in the bud.
You are completely right. I’m happy to answer questions and make videos on topics the general public are interested in because it’s my job and a HUGE part of that job is doing it so that other people don’t have to. I’m happy to be the online resource that people use to find out the answers to their difficult questions. No one has the right to ask invasive questions of someone without the person first asserting their openness to such. Thank you for highlighting this and apologies if I didn’t make it clear enough in the video ♥️
I hope you punched that person. I'm not for violence, but when someone touches someone else in a place like that without permission, I feel like punching is the right kind of self defense. No one should EVER touch someone else without their full permission! Self defense is for everyone, old, young, Male, female, disabled, and able bodied.
This is a big trans mood. It can be honestly terrifying when people randomly ask about like... genitals, your sex life, sexuality, surgery, hormones, doctors, especially if they don't know you, but even with friends it would be extremely awkward (and probably friendship-ending) to be put in that situation.
So you're telling me Claudia's cheekbones look like this without makeup?? Gosh, I'm so jealous. P.s. These vlogmas videos are seriously blessings, you guys have the kind of relationship I've always dreamed of 🥺
They're also incredibly handy on the farm. Anything from something to wipe my hands on, to being able to take an underskirt off to use to get a better grip with emergency midwifery situations - multiple layers of skirts are wonderful.
To Claudia's point that "as a child you must ask why am I sick all the time?" Only speaking from my personal experience I feel like as a kid I didn't really realise that I was sick more than other people. The only colds I've ever had last at least a month, frequently all winter long, and included bronchitis and strep throat. It wasn't until I was around 10 that I realised that wasn't "normal." It felt similar to how some kids could run faster, or others were good at drawing, some kids wouldn't get sick as often.
I think the rudest thing Ive been asked when people find out there's something wrong with me is "Your boyfriend is so active why on earth is he dating you!?
I hate those questions so badly!!! my boyfriend has a chronic illness and he got asked by hy ex boss, how someone so criple manages to date someone like me 🤦😡😠 he acted if it was a joke but honestly even if it was, it is so awful, it makes me cry honestly
Same! My partner is super active and I have a minor disability, and it's mostly that I can't believe he can love me despite having to wait for me to catch up so often.
I started watching this video almost 3 hours ago, but because of all the references to other videos I kept getting sidetracked lol. So i ended up (happily) watching about 6 or 7 of your other videos as I watched this one! Enjoyed all of them!
I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few days ago and I've just been binge watching Jess and Claud to remind myself that even with a chronic illness, I can still live a happy and fulfilling life
You really can. I have fibro, and trigger point injections and a nightly muscle relaxant have given me back my life. (Enough so that I wondered if I was better, but this pandemic taught me that no, just well managed.)
December has been a really stressful month, But knowing that you’re going to have a video every day has been helping me be productive. Thank you so much for being such a beautiful positive force, I hope you have an amazing holiday season!💕💕💕
"It doesn't feel like that to me" brings it home as someone with chronic disability it always feels like you aren't doing enough so you push yourself to hard
Your videos really helped me understand how to adapt myself to my gf's illnesses! Thank you so much, for the positivity, for the wlw goals, for the gayness and for the information! I hope you continue to inform us a lot in 2020!
You two are so funny together! My favorite part is that you are best friends and mutually admire and respect each other. And I think it’s rude and disrespectful to ask anything about intimate or personal things (like sex or going to the toilet), and I’m impressed at how gracious you were about answering those questions. It’s nobody’s business.
I have so needed to hear you talk about some of the more personal bits of your disabilities Jess, it's so isolating to think you're the only one dealing with certain issues. Especially when, clearly you're not the only one, but it feels that way some days no matter how much you tell yourself that you're not alone in this. Thanks so much for all you do!
Primolut N isn't a birth control but it is period control, it stops the lining of your uterus from forming so you don't bleed. It's been amazing for controling my period related hEDS symptoms.
Nvm first my comment... According to Google it's used as a birth control, literally one I have been on before. Brand name Nora-Be is the one I was on. It's also more commonly known as the mini pill. The way this birth control works is not by stopping ovulation. It only stops ovulation in about half of the people taking it. "Norethindrone (a form of progestin) is a hormone that prevents pregnancy by making vaginal fluid thicker to help prevent sperm from reaching an egg (fertilization) and changing the lining of the uterus (womb) to prevent attachment of a fertilized egg." www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-64333/nora-be-oral/details This is a pill that is a really good option for people who can't take both control that has estrogen. Like a lot of people with menstrual migraines estrogen will make those migraines just so much worst. It also just seems to have less side effects.
About the question at 10:49: I remember Jessica mentioning this in an older video... When Jessica was 18 (I believe), she was sad about a breakup. Her father took her to a Collectif clothing shop (a rather pricy vintage clothing store), and told her she could pick any two outfits/items that she likes and he would buy it for her. It was there that Jessica realized she has always loved the vintage style and it is what she feels her best in.
Oh! Now all of a sudden I have the most marvelous idea for a crossover between favorite TH-camrs - Andrea's Fashion Galaxy did a video once where she went to a charity shop in an upscale area, can't think of the name of it nor can I remember whether it was in a part of London or outside of London - and she got some amazing designer stuff for much, much, much more reasonable prices. I wonder if there would be any way for her and Jessica to team up to go to an area like that, with Andrea looking for current clothes and Jessica looking for vintage. (Obviously there are some limitations to this notion with regard to where each of them lives, respectively, in relationship to where the vintage shop area is where would be. But still it could be just delightful.)
Watching this video AFTER the pregnancy announcement and Jess's video about their struggle to get pregnant was a little heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. Love you both so much x
I have a cronic disease. I have zero immune system. 70% of your immune system is in your intestines, and ive had 60% of mine surgically removed. I have crohn's disease which is an autoimmune disease so im prone to ALL autoimmune diseases. Ive developed rheumatoid arthritis and several others. And all have become allergic to every "used" medication theyve tried. I look "normal" but im far from. Even my family are whats wrong with you. Why dont you do this? Or that? Or the other? I get so tired of it. So God bless you. Cronic illness is something you cant see. But its still there.
Amen, Gigi! Crohn's is a terrible disease. And not having an immune system sucks. My younger son has an auto-immune disease. Sometimes, I think we should get tats on our foreheads to answer the most annoying questions. We can just point.
God I hate how I kept explaining myself to my parent, but she keeps .... Forgetting? That I am not able to do certain things... Or need more sleep and rest and that even just getting groceries exhausts me. I'm glad I'm living on my own where I can do things at my own pace But being labeled as lazy again and again feels so unfair My 100% is someone else's 20%... That makes me always give my all, but there's just zero awareness from the other side
I have what my hubby calls 5-a-day-dyslexia 😆 I have real problems with fruit and veg names! I get dates, grapes and olives mixed up...tomatoes & potatoes...peaches, plums, nectarines, tangerines...basically most fruit and veg apart from apples and bananas! Like I KNOW what they are I just get the words wrong!
I get yellow and red mixed up. I can look at a red binder and say its yellow and vice versa. Im not colour blind or anything but I just say the wrong word
You guys inspired me to get up and have a shower and sort myself out. And tomorrow I'm determined to get out of the house with my little boy and go to the shop or the park or something. Thank you. X
@@sweettangerines8182believe me, I'm lying here watching this having not gotten dressed in a couple of days and not having washed my face or hair in longer than that. For some of us, whether our challenges are physical or mental or emotional or a combination of all of the above, each bit of effort merits applause. Here's yours 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
The way you look at Claudia so intensely while lipreading (I think) is so beautiful. I hope the people I love look at me that way too :) Also, I've always thought Claudia's voice is lovely and quite soothing.
I'm so glad you answered the question about using a wheelchair when you can walk some! My partner uses a wheelchair because he has cerebral palsy, but he can "walk" quite a bit, though only on his knees. His legs do not extend all the way and are locked at a nearly 90 degree angle at the knee, so his knees are very callused like feet and he never uses the wheelchair at home or in other people's homes - only in public. It often freaks people out who aren't expecting it when he descends to the floor and starts shuffling around after they've only known him to use the chair. Disabilities can look like anything! All people learn the best and most efficient ways to survive and navigate the world around them! Sometimes wheelchairs are useful for very specific situations only. :)
I absolutely love your videos!! And you are right it is all about finding the right person. When I am down on myself because I had a bad day and didn't get what I wanted to done because I simply couldn't. My husband always reminds me to make allowances for my bad days and not be so hard on myself.
My uncle is 44 and has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair and sooo many people baby him. He also has been asked how long he’s got left as if he’s dying??? (He can’t speak so either my nanna, granda or one of his carers have to correct the person)
You two crack me up😂! You sound like my husband & I, where we make jabs at each other & are just playing around, yet others think we are being mean to each other! Sometimes I wonder..."Are people so used to seeing drama & arguments on television, they have forgotten to pay attention to others body language & only focus on the words"? If we are laughing so hard that we’re trying to catch our breath...there is probably not an issue there🤷🏼♀️! It makes me sad that there are people who see every action as negative, I always wonder if they see things that way b/c their home life is a negative place instead of a warm, happy & safe place. Hopefully they find joy in something, it doesn’t have to be a big deal! You two bantering & laughing makes my heart warm, what is better than seeing or hearing people who love each other enjoying each other’s company? Sending my love 🤗💜🦋😘🐾🐾
I've never watched your videos before, but your Frequently Asked Questions video was on my recommend so now I've been binge watching your channel and I just need you to know that you are possibly the most lovely person I've ever seen. You're so sweet, your voice is beautiful, and I love your personality! You are a brilliant human being!
With the "infantilising" question, I think it probablh helps that mentally Jessica is still the same as any other adult. My Mum had an early onset form of dementia called FTD that changed her personality and it did change the mother daughter dynamic quite a bit
I get what you're trying to say here, but I just want to add that adults with developmental or cognitive disabilities are definitely still adults and should definitely still be treated as adults.
I think there is quite a bit of bias that a lot of people have to look down on disabled people and if you come from that mindset it can genuinely take a bit of work to challenge that belief to ensure you approach everyone with respect
When I was a teenager, I used to help out at a nursing home and spent a lot of time with people with dementia and I was extremely unsure about how to treat them, because obviously they were older than me and I wanted to treat them with respect, but some of them had the comprehension of children. I‘m definitely not an expert, but for me the main difference was that elderly people with dementia aren‘t able to learn and remember new things like children.
I'm having a very slow paced but productive day and your videos always make me feel less alone about not always having the energy to like gogogogogogogo you know? And they make me smile because you two are so fun
I had to pause at the petticoats joke because I was laughing too hard! Lol! Now I'm thinking about my difficulties with either spanx or a corset or girdle etc. on and yup when I wear petticoats it's a huge issue going to the bathroom! 😂😂😂💜🥄💜
Braille is difficult. They start you out with training your fingers. I agree with Jessica. Check out to see if you can read Braille the next time you see some.
I was born with low vision and I was taught braille from when I was 6 up to when I was 8. I can only recall that "a" and capitalization is a dot, that I mixed up b and c a lot, that the letter v looked like a backward L, Oh and that i and e are two diagonal dots. And I can only remember how to type an o on a braille typewriter. Anyway, they eventually gave up teaching me because I would look at the braille when I should only be feeling it. Now I just use large print font size 18.
I love you and Claudia’s dynamic. There’s so much love in here. And proof that disabilities are no hinge to a strong bond. Continue being so amazing, both of you, and for each other. ❤️
Not to be rude, but people can be so rude sometimes. 😂 In all seriousness, Claudia is that gorgeous and she’s not wearing makeup? I am jealous as hell! And I love the way you dress Jessica! It’s not my style, but it suits you! Everyone has their own style and that’s a beautiful thing. 😊
YES! Thank you for bringing up the whole using-a-wheelchair-even-though-you-can-walk issue! 💖 I always feel so self conscious in my chair and almost as if I need to pretend that I can’t walk just because it’s easier for people to fathom. Having more people understand that wheelchairs aren’t just for paralysed people is so important! It’s truly been a life saver with my CFS, because now I can actually participate in larger outings every now and then :’)💕
yes, same here, especially colours. i've also said lamp when i meant ceiling, stuff just vaguely in the same category gets switched sometimes. weirdly enough, i don't have dyslexia, i speak several languages, so otherwise everything seems to be "normal", i just tend to swap words quite a bit. i was quite sure i was alone in that
actually, come to think of it, i also get lowercase b and d mixed up, not in the latin alphabet but cyrillic. б and д. they're not even similar-looking in cyrillic?? brains are weird.
Woah woah wait you have EDS? Was your MCTD dx changed to EDS? I also have EDS(#3) and started watching your channel during your Malaysia trips and was AMAZED at how manageable you made traveling look while having a connective tissue issue. I kind of saw you as my disability cousin from across the pond, but were disability twinsies!!!!! (I too am a vintage loving, lgbt, red haired Jessica)
Vlogmas is dangerous. I seem to have gotten into the habit of watching Jess first thing every morning. Wake up. Meditate. Feel depressed. Jessica’s Vlogmas!! What will I do when it’s over? 😳
I do the same thing with my clothes, I have my own bold style and love sparkly makeup. Usually it’s that people see first instead of the health issues I have.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's actually called "malapropism" (mixing up two similar words like tomato and potato). Spoonerism is mixing up the beginning sounds in two words.
My brothers and I have CMT, Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease, discovered by French doctors. My mother took five years to find the one doctor east of Mississippi or in country that recognized it. No cure, no treatment, variable oncet, variable prognosis. Actually a genetic disorder not disease. I hate the blank look when I say I have CMT and the difficulty explaining. Love your open honesty and courage.
Great daily Jessica content leading up Christmas. It's especially making things easier for my first Christmas after my uncle's death. (Sorry if that's really depressing, but I'm just so thankful for Jessica's content.)
very well said about having an ill parent and that sort of preparing you for caring for someone else in need. my experience was my father with cancer and now i'm currently helping take care of my niece with a lifelong disability and we will have to care for her every single need for her entire life. sure, I baby her for now since she is a child, but it'll be a different sort of thing when she's an adult. I doubt I could've dealt with my niece's situation if I hadn't had the experience with my father first, so i'm grateful for that difficult time in ways.
These vlogmas videos have been a blessing. Through out the last month with my new diagnosis I’ve been a bit down and unwell. Watching you makes me feel so much more motivated to do things. Love you Jessica xxx
You might like henna branded hair products if you always use red! It gives the most natural beautiful and lasting red. It also has natural highlights since it coats your hair strands kind of like putting a clear colored plastic over a light.
I learned that you can't mix henna and chemical hair dye. So you have to wait to let the hair grow out to switch. That would be impractical for Jessicas long hair.
@@emmynoether9540 Not necessarily. You need to do a test patch test and see how it reacts. Usually the problem comes from putting regular dye over henna. Fresh dye is also more likely to react.
I think asking questions is fantastic. It means people usually have a desire to be informed and informed is ALWAYS better than ignorance. The questions are a wonderful opportunity for you to educate and enlighten others!
I admit some of those were the absolutely most cocked up questions I've ever heard asked and some were truly... enlightening. But daymn! seeing Jessica in her vintage attire riding by in her conveyance would make me turn my head (and that 1000 lumen smile!) and people ask why? Bloody hell. Blimey. And other questions I'd have to be friends 25 years to work up the nerve to ask those kinds of questions. Oy! Good on the both of you for being amazing and staying so buoyant.
"well we can kiss we're a married couple" "oh yes- of course... sorry" "what else were you talking about" "n-nothing" "oh" *both looks straight at the camera*
When you get asked "what's wrong with you?", don't you sometimes want to say "What makes you think something's wrong with me?"? I personally get really tired of that question. "Do you mind if I ask what's wrong with you?" Sometimes I say "Yes I do" and keep walking.
I love watching your videos! Vlogmas has been so great. on my bad days when I literally feel like staying in one spot all day due to my chronic illnesses, your videos and Instagram posts always make me feel so much less alone and give me the motivation to make the most out of the day
That ending gave me the feels! For some reason, Jessica reminded me of my childhood neighbour who would always say "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" In the sweetest and most meaningful tone every time we had to leave.
The fact that jessica has like enough self discipline to post regularly, is like mind blowing I cannot finish any of my projects in a timely manner and I find it to be a detriment honestly
With the helping thing: I do get a lot of help in my life, And the thing that makes it feel appropriate to me is when the person who is helping me, at some stage, asks for my help with something different and in that way we are equalised. I'm also in a position to help others and I make sure that they feel valued in they are able to help me and I expect that of them.
My ex infantalised me and i hated it so much!!! I was after a surgery and in pain. I didn't want 50 kisses on my cheek... He was very confused and helpless...
It's really tough being on the other side of it. It's taken my other half a year to train me to give her space when she's in pain and not to smother her - it's just my natural inclination to cuddle her when she's feeling awful. Still, we have to be willing to change our behaviour sometimes for the ones we love, so it sounds like your ex wasn't up to that challenge!
I'm glad you found each other. It helps to have someone you live there to help. I think that they are more patient with us when were feeling badly. I know it works the other way with some people. But I want to see the good in people.
The two of you are actual magic! Jessica, I would love to see you wearing fabulous vintage-looking glasses with impact resistant lenses to protect your healthy eye! 🤓👓
In regards to migraines. I am disabled as well and I have suffered from migraines since age 8. I started having to get trigger point injections in my lower back/hips due to my illness. I was going to cancel an appt due to migraine and my nurse told me to come and she could help. She used the same medication for my back into the trigger points in my neck and upper shoulders. It was minutes at the migraine was gone. I now get the injections every 3 weeks with my back ones. My migraines are down to very rarely and usually self inflicted from not enough sleep, poor food choices or not taking time for my body to rest. My medicine is called Kenalog injectable. It is mixed with Ladicaine when administered. I dont find it hurts at all and I actually feel excited for the next appt knowing it gives me more ability to enjoy my life. After the injection I go home and lay on my heating pad for a couple hrs as the freezing wears out (similar to dental freezing). The next day I'm up and going my usual pace ☺️ it makes me feel silly I didnt ask earlier (I've been getting back injections for nearly 2 years) the neck ones for about 3 mths. I will say the only downside is you can build immunity and need time between doses changed or have a different type of injectable.
Fascinating. I had radio telemetry. ? Where they burn the nerves. It helped for a while, but now the migraines are back. I will ask my doctor about this med.
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My sister had Neurofibromatosis and people used to constantly whisper, stare, and point. Kids would stare and my sister always said, "I'd feel better if you asked about how I look instead of assuming or being afraid".
She died in 2017 but she was a big believer in "ask if you're uncertain, don't assume or bully. No question is dumb or rude if the question comes from a place of seeking knowledge and understanding."
Blessings to you .
@@shalacarter6658 thank you lovely. The holidays are always the hardest. I also miscarried my first son in December so this time of year particularly is tough.
@@aubreymaiers9175 I miscarried in December as well. It was my 2nd miscarriage. I believe we will get to hold our littlest angels one day! 🙏
@@crisnemitz1606 I agree. Hope your holiday season has happiness amongst any sadness you feel.
Blessed be. I lost a dear aunt to cancer the week before Christmas and this is always a hard season
The "why are you in a wheelchair if you can walk" question is similar to "why do you drive a bike/car if you can walk". Because you can't walk *that distance* (aside from other reasons of course).
+
I think this is an understandable confusion since a lot of people associate wheelchairs with having no ability to walk at all due to media (in TV and books i've never seen a character who uses a wheelchair unless they've been like paralyzed from birth or they're drugged in a hospital)
"why do you use oven mitts when you could grab the pan with your bare hands?" (totaly stole that off twitter lol)
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What about the question why do you have a bike if you can't walk?
"yeah with the disability of like humongous petticoats" 💀🤣 I was not expecting that level of shade from Claud but so appreciated! Watched it three times!!! 🤣
Catrina Bush so true😂😂😂
So cheeky and so lovely.
8:21 for reference!
I'm really happy you found your Claudia. Now where do I get one of those
They're a rare breed, we all search for a Claudia. I too am looking for my own Claudia.
@@heatherspill5817 Cool, wanna look together? We can host self-pity parties for all the Claudialess
@@moonell we will compile a list of places to search for a Claudia...
@@heatherspill5817
n.1: at the dentists
Maybe you're each other's Claudia? 😊
“Your disability that is humongous petty coats” 😂😂😂
I wear petticoats too (though I prefer hoop skirts) and I felt that attack deep in my bones XD
That one had me rolling 🤣🤣🤣
My favorite part is how 100% true this is!!
I'm pretty sure petticoats tie rompers for the most different thing to be wearing in a restroom.
*Cosplay I'm not putting in the running because cosplay is a competition to design an outfit that is the least ideal to use the restroom. Plus super complicated cosplay is normally only warn a handful of times a years.
Y'all are gonna think I'm an ass but idc. What is a petty coat actually? I could look it up but I'm not sure it would be the "real" answer still.
@@luciaayaso2260 a petticoat is an undergarment, they’re a very vintage thing women would wear under their skirts
"were you just getting girls to touch you?" 😂😂
That's a big mood
The read more won’t open for me :(
Edit: typo
Claudia: "We're a married couple, we can kiss! What were you thinking about?"
Jess: "Nothing O_O"
XD So wholesome
**CAPTIONS CURRENTLY SYNCING**
Thank you so much for watching and asking the questions 😉xxxx
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard another question I thought of when you were talking about migraines and side effects. Do you have access to the new medication for migraines? There are 3 types and you inject them once a month. They are a special kind of antibody they have little to no side effects for most people! I don’t know if it’s available outside of the US yet but I was thinking of you when I heard about it.
I would love to know where you shop for such fabulous vintage-style clothes. You have such a terrific wardrobe that I'm sure they aren't all actual vintage dresses. But somehow I can't imagine either of you sewing them yourselves. (Because of time and energy restrictions rather than lack of ability or skill!)
When should the captions be available? Your update was 3 hours ago and the captions still aren't showing up for me
Thank YOU.
Your dedication to making sure the captions are good is amazing because like I do that for a living and I don't care how good the technology is, it's always a bit tedious.
I always reply to what’s wrong with you with do you want the history in chronological order, alphabetical or by what effects me most
I always run out of room when filling out forms even using initials. I end up scribbling down the edge.
Me, too! "Do you want that list chronological or alphabetical? (or by the most annoying)
@@sgough4315 Oh, yes! Try to fit a list of meds in those tiny boxes. And forms that just ask numbers? I fill in all of the blank parts!
@@@shalacarter6658 yes I forgot about the lists of medications - how many a day & what strength ? And the number questions ! Aaah !
s gough yep like before my surgery we had to do one of those forms but we just asked for a second peice of paper aha
Oh my... 😂 😂 😂 I just imagined how tactile braille with lips would work out and about when Jess is always wearing lipstick - there would be traces of her all over Brighton😂😂😂💄
yes exactly
Random person - 'What does this braille read?'
Jessica was here...
She'd also be getting sick more often because... germs
Claud's voice IS more monotone than the average I would say, indeed! But contrary to her qualifying it as boring, I find it very soothing.
Yes, it has a calming effect and I listen intently. I love her voice and Jessica's. Not that they needed me to. lol
yeah it’s so nice to listen to her voice
Can we please make a distinction bw asking an influencer online, who is an advocate and educator these rude questions and having an answer and asking a stranger in real life. Asking rude questions to Jessica is fine. Demanding someone in the street or someone you kind of know through work these questions isn't great, and if they don't want to talk about it they aren't being closed minded they just don't want to talk to an ass hole about private matters. Please don't use the fact that she said she will be open minded, will answer these questions and is happy to answer questions, as a way to prove that anyone who doesn't answer calmly and in detail the way you want them to about extremely sensitive info is being bad and closed minded. It is not the job of strangers to educate you, it is part of advocates and educators job, and your job is to not be needlessly cruel to strangers, look it up online later.
I recently had someone say I didn't have a right to mad that a complete stranger w/out any permission grabbed my tit bc they wanted to know how well binders had worked, and it is was my job to educate them in detail. And I know that so many people will take her saying that she likes answering questions as a way to educate and be open minded, and apply it to everyone, so if anyone doesn't answer questions, or say it isn't their job to educate is bad. I'm not saying that jessica is bad for saying it, I just know that someone will take it that way, and I gotta nip that in the bud.
You are completely right. I’m happy to answer questions and make videos on topics the general public are interested in because it’s my job and a HUGE part of that job is doing it so that other people don’t have to. I’m happy to be the online resource that people use to find out the answers to their difficult questions. No one has the right to ask invasive questions of someone without the person first asserting their openness to such.
Thank you for highlighting this and apologies if I didn’t make it clear enough in the video ♥️
+
I hope you punched that person. I'm not for violence, but when someone touches someone else in a place like that without permission, I feel like punching is the right kind of self defense. No one should EVER touch someone else without their full permission! Self defense is for everyone, old, young, Male, female, disabled, and able bodied.
This is a big trans mood. It can be honestly terrifying when people randomly ask about like... genitals, your sex life, sexuality, surgery, hormones, doctors, especially if they don't know you, but even with friends it would be extremely awkward (and probably friendship-ending) to be put in that situation.
High five up top. 🙌🏽
So you're telling me Claudia's cheekbones look like this without makeup?? Gosh, I'm so jealous.
P.s. These vlogmas videos are seriously blessings, you guys have the kind of relationship I've always dreamed of 🥺
Bubble Joo Claudia is so naturally gorgeous. I’m so jealous
Bubble Joo I know 😫😫 just got out of a abusive lesbian relationship..just want something like there’s 🥺
The non-family friends moments in this really made me smile.
wooo thanks for the plug you legends!! also, I may have to copy this video idea :P
Yes! Please do it! X
"Why do you dress like that?"
....only mildly disappointed that petticoats breaking falls wasn't part of the reason. (because they SO DO)
Yeah, that was in a different video! :)
They're also incredibly handy on the farm. Anything from something to wipe my hands on, to being able to take an underskirt off to use to get a better grip with emergency midwifery situations - multiple layers of skirts are wonderful.
To Claudia's point that "as a child you must ask why am I sick all the time?" Only speaking from my personal experience I feel like as a kid I didn't really realise that I was sick more than other people. The only colds I've ever had last at least a month, frequently all winter long, and included bronchitis and strep throat. It wasn't until I was around 10 that I realised that wasn't "normal." It felt similar to how some kids could run faster, or others were good at drawing, some kids wouldn't get sick as often.
I think the rudest thing Ive been asked when people find out there's something wrong with me is "Your boyfriend is so active why on earth is he dating you!?
Wow. Fuck those people. Dinguses.
I hate those questions so badly!!! my boyfriend has a chronic illness and he got asked by hy ex boss, how someone so criple manages to date someone like me 🤦😡😠 he acted if it was a joke but honestly even if it was, it is so awful, it makes me cry honestly
WOW
Same! My partner is super active and I have a minor disability, and it's mostly that I can't believe he can love me despite having to wait for me to catch up so often.
@@Rachel-fi4sc never listen to them ever 💛 your partner just as lucky to be with you 😊
I started watching this video almost 3 hours ago, but because of all the references to other videos I kept getting sidetracked lol. So i ended up (happily) watching about 6 or 7 of your other videos as I watched this one! Enjoyed all of them!
Awesome, thank you! :)
I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few days ago and I've just been binge watching Jess and Claud to remind myself that even with a chronic illness, I can still live a happy and fulfilling life
You really can. I have fibro, and trigger point injections and a nightly muscle relaxant have given me back my life. (Enough so that I wondered if I was better, but this pandemic taught me that no, just well managed.)
December has been a really stressful month, But knowing that you’re going to have a video every day has been helping me be productive. Thank you so much for being such a beautiful positive force, I hope you have an amazing holiday season!💕💕💕
Sending you lots of love to get you through ❤️
You just made my day ❤️ thank you so much! 💕💕
Yes, my thought exactly, Majentah! A beast of a month by I still feel incredibly spoiled to have a new Jessica and Claudia fix every day!
@@jessicaoutofthecloset She's an angel😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Claudia's look of bliss every time Jessica strokes her hair 😍😂😂😂
"It doesn't feel like that to me" brings it home as someone with chronic disability it always feels like you aren't doing enough so you push yourself to hard
the part about talking into Jessicas shoulder made my heart melt tho
*Family friendly, family friendly* oh I'm dying 😂😂
Your videos really helped me understand how to adapt myself to my gf's illnesses! Thank you so much, for the positivity, for the wlw goals, for the gayness and for the information! I hope you continue to inform us a lot in 2020!
Claudia not understanding the question on infantilization warmed my heart more than anything could have. What a star human, honestly. Just A+.
"yeah, the disability of giant peticoats" Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, Claud going for the throat here :P
You two are so funny together! My favorite part is that you are best friends and mutually admire and respect each other. And I think it’s rude and disrespectful to ask anything about intimate or personal things (like sex or going to the toilet), and I’m impressed at how gracious you were about answering those questions. It’s nobody’s business.
I noticed that too...I agree with you. 🙂
Claudia is such an amazing and beautiful soul. Everyone needs Claudia in their live . Sending you both much ( love
I have so needed to hear you talk about some of the more personal bits of your disabilities Jess, it's so isolating to think you're the only one dealing with certain issues. Especially when, clearly you're not the only one, but it feels that way some days no matter how much you tell yourself that you're not alone in this. Thanks so much for all you do!
Primolut N isn't a birth control but it is period control, it stops the lining of your uterus from forming so you don't bleed. It's been amazing for controling my period related hEDS symptoms.
I take this (norethindrone is the generic name) as well and it's changed my life
Nvm first my comment...
According to Google it's used as a birth control, literally one I have been on before. Brand name Nora-Be is the one I was on. It's also more commonly known as the mini pill.
The way this birth control works is not by stopping ovulation.
It only stops ovulation in about half of the people taking it.
"Norethindrone (a form of progestin) is a hormone that prevents pregnancy by making vaginal fluid thicker to help prevent sperm from reaching an egg (fertilization) and changing the lining of the uterus (womb) to prevent attachment of a fertilized egg."
www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-64333/nora-be-oral/details
This is a pill that is a really good option for people who can't take both control that has estrogen. Like a lot of people with menstrual migraines estrogen will make those migraines just so much worst. It also just seems to have less side effects.
About the question at 10:49: I remember Jessica mentioning this in an older video... When Jessica was 18 (I believe), she was sad about a breakup. Her father took her to a Collectif clothing shop (a rather pricy vintage clothing store), and told her she could pick any two outfits/items that she likes and he would buy it for her. It was there that Jessica realized she has always loved the vintage style and it is what she feels her best in.
Oh! Now all of a sudden I have the most marvelous idea for a crossover between favorite TH-camrs - Andrea's Fashion Galaxy did a video once where she went to a charity shop in an upscale area, can't think of the name of it nor can I remember whether it was in a part of London or outside of London - and she got some amazing designer stuff for much, much, much more reasonable prices. I wonder if there would be any way for her and Jessica to team up to go to an area like that, with Andrea looking for current clothes and Jessica looking for vintage. (Obviously there are some limitations to this notion with regard to where each of them lives, respectively, in relationship to where the vintage shop area is where would be. But still it could be just delightful.)
Watching this video AFTER the pregnancy announcement and Jess's video about their struggle to get pregnant was a little heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. Love you both so much x
I have a cronic disease. I have zero immune system. 70% of your immune system is in your intestines, and ive had 60% of mine surgically removed.
I have crohn's disease which is an autoimmune disease so im prone to ALL autoimmune diseases. Ive developed rheumatoid arthritis and several others. And all have become allergic to every "used" medication theyve tried.
I look "normal" but im far from. Even my family are whats wrong with you. Why dont you do this? Or that? Or the other?
I get so tired of it.
So God bless you. Cronic illness is something you cant see. But its still there.
Amen, Gigi! Crohn's is a terrible disease. And not having an immune system sucks. My younger son has an auto-immune disease.
Sometimes, I think we should get tats on our foreheads to answer the most annoying questions. We can just point.
@@shalacarter6658 ❤
Auto-immune buddies
Also have crohn's! It's terrible.
God I hate how I kept explaining myself to my parent, but she keeps .... Forgetting? That I am not able to do certain things... Or need more sleep and rest and that even just getting groceries exhausts me.
I'm glad I'm living on my own where I can do things at my own pace
But being labeled as lazy again and again feels so unfair
My 100% is someone else's 20%... That makes me always give my all, but there's just zero awareness from the other side
I fully thought tomatoes were potatoes until halfway through elementary school so I GET IT, CLAUDIA
My daughter (3 y/o) has such a difficulty with this. She currently calls both tampatoes
I understand that too, I always mix up cauliflower and broccoli
April Scott that’s funny 😅 you should write it down so she can laugh about this when she’s older
I have what my hubby calls 5-a-day-dyslexia 😆 I have real problems with fruit and veg names! I get dates, grapes and olives mixed up...tomatoes & potatoes...peaches, plums, nectarines, tangerines...basically most fruit and veg apart from apples and bananas! Like I KNOW what they are I just get the words wrong!
I get yellow and red mixed up. I can look at a red binder and say its yellow and vice versa. Im not colour blind or anything but I just say the wrong word
"Because it makes me happy." Best answer ever. Well done.
I want this quality of a relationship. Wow, y’all are so sweet
*grabs popcorn and settles in for the absolute fuckery*
*frickery* *
can we be best friends??? I literally thought the same thing!! haha
You guys inspired me to get up and have a shower and sort myself out. And tomorrow I'm determined to get out of the house with my little boy and go to the shop or the park or something. Thank you. X
You go!
@@shalacarter6658 thanks ❤️ I know it doesn't sound like much
@@sweettangerines8182 I can relate. For some of us those things are achievements and we are allowed to be proud. So here, I am proud of you. :)
@@sweettangerines8182believe me, I'm lying here watching this having not gotten dressed in a couple of days and not having washed my face or hair in longer than that. For some of us, whether our challenges are physical or mental or emotional or a combination of all of the above, each bit of effort merits applause. Here's yours 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
The way you look at Claudia so intensely while lipreading (I think) is so beautiful. I hope the people I love look at me that way too :)
Also, I've always thought Claudia's voice is lovely and quite soothing.
I'm so glad you answered the question about using a wheelchair when you can walk some! My partner uses a wheelchair because he has cerebral palsy, but he can "walk" quite a bit, though only on his knees. His legs do not extend all the way and are locked at a nearly 90 degree angle at the knee, so his knees are very callused like feet and he never uses the wheelchair at home or in other people's homes - only in public. It often freaks people out who aren't expecting it when he descends to the floor and starts shuffling around after they've only known him to use the chair. Disabilities can look like anything! All people learn the best and most efficient ways to survive and navigate the world around them! Sometimes wheelchairs are useful for very specific situations only. :)
I absolutely love your videos!!
And you are right it is all about finding the right person. When I am down on myself because I had a bad day and didn't get what I wanted to done because I simply couldn't. My husband always reminds me to make allowances for my bad days and not be so hard on myself.
My uncle is 44 and has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair and sooo many people baby him. He also has been asked how long he’s got left as if he’s dying??? (He can’t speak so either my nanna, granda or one of his carers have to correct the person)
Wowwwwwwwwww! I have family members with CP and also friends. It's different for each person, which makes it a difficult problem to explain.
Woah, people actually have the audacity to ask that?! I'd be livid!
You two crack me up😂! You sound like my husband & I, where we make jabs at each other & are just playing around, yet others think we are being mean to each other! Sometimes I wonder..."Are people so used to seeing drama & arguments on television, they have forgotten to pay attention to others body language & only focus on the words"? If we are laughing so hard that we’re trying to catch our breath...there is probably not an issue there🤷🏼♀️! It makes me sad that there are people who see every action as negative, I always wonder if they see things that way
b/c their home life is a negative place instead of a warm, happy & safe place. Hopefully they find joy in something, it doesn’t have to be a big deal! You two bantering & laughing makes my heart warm, what is better than seeing or hearing people who love each other enjoying each other’s company? Sending my love 🤗💜🦋😘🐾🐾
They're so perfect for each other and they're both so gorgeous oml
I've never watched your videos before, but your Frequently Asked Questions video was on my recommend so now I've been binge watching your channel and I just need you to know that you are possibly the most lovely person I've ever seen. You're so sweet, your voice is beautiful, and I love your personality! You are a brilliant human being!
With the "infantilising" question, I think it probablh helps that mentally Jessica is still the same as any other adult. My Mum had an early onset form of dementia called FTD that changed her personality and it did change the mother daughter dynamic quite a bit
I get what you're trying to say here, but I just want to add that adults with developmental or cognitive disabilities are definitely still adults and should definitely still be treated as adults.
Sarah cross reference to the vids about Quakerism. Children shouldn't be treated as people commonly treat children either.
I think there is quite a bit of bias that a lot of people have to look down on disabled people and if you come from that mindset it can genuinely take a bit of work to challenge that belief to ensure you approach everyone with respect
Semi unrelated, but have you heard of the play Plagues and Tangles?
When I was a teenager, I used to help out at a nursing home and spent a lot of time with people with dementia and I was extremely unsure about how to treat them, because obviously they were older than me and I wanted to treat them with respect, but some of them had the comprehension of children. I‘m definitely not an expert, but for me the main difference was that elderly people with dementia aren‘t able to learn and remember new things like children.
I'm having a very slow paced but productive day and your videos always make me feel less alone about not always having the energy to like gogogogogogogo you know? And they make me smile because you two are so fun
I had to pause at the petticoats joke because I was laughing too hard! Lol! Now I'm thinking about my difficulties with either spanx or a corset or girdle etc. on and yup when I wear petticoats it's a huge issue going to the bathroom! 😂😂😂💜🥄💜
Seriously, before the 'voice' question, I was thinking how much I like Claudia's voice. I think she has a very nice voice.
Jessicas comment about Claudia constantly fadcinating her is the most pure and loving thing ive ever heard!
Jessica's other disability: "THOSE HUGE PETTICOATS!"
Claudia talking about helping her dying mother touched my heart so much.
Braille is difficult. They start you out with training your fingers. I agree with Jessica. Check out to see if you can read Braille the next time you see some.
I was born with low vision and I was taught braille from when I was 6 up to when I was 8. I can only recall that "a" and capitalization is a dot, that I mixed up b and c a lot, that the letter v looked like a backward L, Oh and that i and e are two diagonal dots. And I can only remember how to type an o on a braille typewriter. Anyway, they eventually gave up teaching me because I would look at the braille when I should only be feeling it. Now I just use large print font size 18.
I love you and Claudia’s dynamic. There’s so much love in here. And proof that disabilities are no hinge to a strong bond. Continue being so amazing, both of you, and for each other. ❤️
Not to be rude, but people can be so rude sometimes. 😂
In all seriousness, Claudia is that gorgeous and she’s not wearing makeup? I am jealous as hell! And I love the way you dress Jessica! It’s not my style, but it suits you! Everyone has their own style and that’s a beautiful thing. 😊
YES! Thank you for bringing up the whole using-a-wheelchair-even-though-you-can-walk issue! 💖 I always feel so self conscious in my chair and almost as if I need to pretend that I can’t walk just because it’s easier for people to fathom. Having more people understand that wheelchairs aren’t just for paralysed people is so important! It’s truly been a life saver with my CFS, because now I can actually participate in larger outings every now and then :’)💕
I get the words thing. I often get orange and green mixed up... thats a weird one. ( i thought it was part of my dyslexia)
I get orange and green mixed up too ! Also lowercase b and d, tho I don’t have dyslexia....
yes, same here, especially colours. i've also said lamp when i meant ceiling, stuff just vaguely in the same category gets switched sometimes. weirdly enough, i don't have dyslexia, i speak several languages, so otherwise everything seems to be "normal", i just tend to swap words quite a bit. i was quite sure i was alone in that
actually, come to think of it, i also get lowercase b and d mixed up, not in the latin alphabet but cyrillic. б and д. they're not even similar-looking in cyrillic?? brains are weird.
I forget words and there spelling a lot, for example I've called a pharmacy medicine people because I can't remember the word
Getting an IUD has been a life changer. It was the last option we tried before considering a hysterectomy.
Jessica: Family Friendly!
Claudia: I was, what was you talking about?
Jessica: :>
Woah woah wait you have EDS? Was your MCTD dx changed to EDS? I also have EDS(#3) and started watching your channel during your Malaysia trips and was AMAZED at how manageable you made traveling look while having a connective tissue issue. I kind of saw you as my disability cousin from across the pond, but were disability twinsies!!!!! (I too am a vintage loving, lgbt, red haired Jessica)
Claudia doesn't need make-up, which is totally unfair, she is totally gorgeous as is 🙂 not flirting just stating the obvious
Vlogmas is dangerous. I seem to have gotten into the habit of watching Jess first thing every morning. Wake up. Meditate. Feel depressed. Jessica’s Vlogmas!!
What will I do when it’s over? 😳
Watch your favorite ones again? 😉
You two are absolutely adorable! 😂 Claudia especially. I wish she was my friend. She is so genuine.
I always miss out on asking these things as I never see them....one day I'll get there!
You two should start a podcast! You have the most soothing voices
The petticoat disability made me laugh so hard! I love those little moments between you two ❤️. So adorable and pure. Take care-happy holidays 🎄🥳
I do the same thing with my clothes, I have my own bold style and love sparkly makeup. Usually it’s that people see first instead of the health issues I have.
"With the disability of humongous petticoats" 😂😂😂love that
The thing claudia was talking about with accidentally swapping letters when you're speaking is called a Spoonerism!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's actually called "malapropism" (mixing up two similar words like tomato and potato). Spoonerism is mixing up the beginning sounds in two words.
@@MissRnH What Claudia described was a spoonerism. She said she swaps letters from one word to the next. That's nothing like a malapropism.
MissRnH You’re both right. Hannah was talking about spoonerisms, you added in malapropisms.
Oh.....why do I only know of this now? Huh, I guess there is actually a name for mixing your words, I do it alot
My brothers and I have CMT, Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease, discovered by French doctors.
My mother took five years to find the one doctor east of Mississippi or in country that recognized it. No cure, no treatment, variable oncet, variable prognosis.
Actually a genetic disorder not disease.
I hate the blank look when I say I have CMT and the difficulty explaining.
Love your open honesty and courage.
The way you dress makes me happy too! As good as personality!
Great daily Jessica content leading up Christmas. It's especially making things easier for my first Christmas after my uncle's death.
(Sorry if that's really depressing, but I'm just so thankful for Jessica's content.)
basicvampire I’m sorry for your loss.
very well said about having an ill parent and that sort of preparing you for caring for someone else in need. my experience was my father with cancer and now i'm currently helping take care of my niece with a lifelong disability and we will have to care for her every single need for her entire life. sure, I baby her for now since she is a child, but it'll be a different sort of thing when she's an adult. I doubt I could've dealt with my niece's situation if I hadn't had the experience with my father first, so i'm grateful for that difficult time in ways.
I wish you guys knew how much you inspire me, your relationship is beautiful 💖💖💖
You two are so cute, it makes me so hopeful for when i have a wife someday 😭❤️
Same, hang in there fellow stranger/citizen of the internet, someone will come and you'll love them and they'll love you as well 👍
I absolutely adore Claud’s voice. It’s soothing.
These vlogmas videos have been a blessing. Through out the last month with my new diagnosis I’ve been a bit down and unwell. Watching you makes me feel so much more motivated to do things. Love you Jessica xxx
You might like henna branded hair products if you always use red! It gives the most natural beautiful and lasting red. It also has natural highlights since it coats your hair strands kind of like putting a clear colored plastic over a light.
I learned that you can't mix henna and chemical hair dye. So you have to wait to let the hair grow out to switch. That would be impractical for Jessicas long hair.
@@emmynoether9540 Not necessarily. You need to do a test patch test and see how it reacts. Usually the problem comes from putting regular dye over henna. Fresh dye is also more likely to react.
I think asking questions is fantastic. It means people usually have a desire to be informed and informed is ALWAYS better than ignorance. The questions are a wonderful opportunity for you to educate and enlighten others!
I love your partnership! I have a semi seminar one to my husband, and it’s great to see that in other couples! Teamwork!
I admit some of those were the absolutely most cocked up questions I've ever heard asked and some were truly... enlightening.
But daymn! seeing Jessica in her vintage attire riding by in her conveyance would make me turn my head (and that 1000 lumen smile!) and people ask why? Bloody hell.
Blimey. And other questions I'd have to be friends 25 years to work up the nerve to ask those kinds of questions. Oy!
Good on the both of you for being amazing and staying so buoyant.
"well we can kiss we're a married couple"
"oh yes- of course... sorry"
"what else were you talking about"
"n-nothing"
"oh"
*both looks straight at the camera*
When Jessica says "I find you constantly fascinating" to Claudia I just melted
When you both do videos together my heart just melts!
When you get asked "what's wrong with you?", don't you sometimes want to say "What makes you think something's wrong with me?"? I personally get really tired of that question. "Do you mind if I ask what's wrong with you?" Sometimes I say "Yes I do" and keep walking.
Claudia's voice is super soothing!
I love watching your videos! Vlogmas has been so great. on my bad days when I literally feel like staying in one spot all day due to my chronic illnesses, your videos and Instagram posts always make me feel so much less alone and give me the motivation to make the most out of the day
That ending gave me the feels!
For some reason, Jessica reminded me of my childhood neighbour who would always say "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" In the sweetest and most meaningful tone every time we had to leave.
Yes! That is from Hee Haw!
“Dear” y’all know she’d make a fine Southener!
Oh my God, I can't unsee that!
The fact that jessica has like enough self discipline to post regularly, is like mind blowing
I cannot finish any of my projects in a timely manner and I find it to be a detriment honestly
I wish you and Molly Burke would do a collab someday that must be so fun and interesting!
I was thinking that when I watched this video!!!!!
i’m kinda new but you feel like my moms who are sitting me down to make sure that i’m knowledgeable on life and i love and appreciate it
Again! You and Claudia are so good together. And hilarious people 🤣❤️
With the helping thing:
I do get a lot of help in my life,
And the thing that makes it feel appropriate to me is when the person who is helping me, at some stage, asks for my help with something different and in that way we are equalised.
I'm also in a position to help others and I make sure that they feel valued in they are able to help me and I expect that of them.
My ex infantalised me and i hated it so much!!! I was after a surgery and in pain. I didn't want 50 kisses on my cheek... He was very confused and helpless...
It's really tough being on the other side of it. It's taken my other half a year to train me to give her space when she's in pain and not to smother her - it's just my natural inclination to cuddle her when she's feeling awful. Still, we have to be willing to change our behaviour sometimes for the ones we love, so it sounds like your ex wasn't up to that challenge!
I'm glad you found each other. It helps to have someone you live there to help. I think that they are more patient with us when were feeling badly. I know it works the other way with some people. But I want to see the good in people.
The two of you are actual magic!
Jessica, I would love to see you wearing fabulous vintage-looking glasses with impact resistant lenses to protect your healthy eye! 🤓👓
The way you carry a conversation I totally forget that you are deaf!! Love you 2
In regards to migraines. I am disabled as well and I have suffered from migraines since age 8. I started having to get trigger point injections in my lower back/hips due to my illness. I was going to cancel an appt due to migraine and my nurse told me to come and she could help. She used the same medication for my back into the trigger points in my neck and upper shoulders. It was minutes at the migraine was gone. I now get the injections every 3 weeks with my back ones. My migraines are down to very rarely and usually self inflicted from not enough sleep, poor food choices or not taking time for my body to rest. My medicine is called Kenalog injectable. It is mixed with Ladicaine when administered. I dont find it hurts at all and I actually feel excited for the next appt knowing it gives me more ability to enjoy my life. After the injection I go home and lay on my heating pad for a couple hrs as the freezing wears out (similar to dental freezing). The next day I'm up and going my usual pace ☺️ it makes me feel silly I didnt ask earlier (I've been getting back injections for nearly 2 years) the neck ones for about 3 mths. I will say the only downside is you can build immunity and need time between doses changed or have a different type of injectable.
Fascinating. I had radio telemetry. ? Where they burn the nerves. It helped for a while, but now the migraines are back. I will ask my doctor about this med.
@@shalacarter6658 it's worth a try. I get each side of neck both top and bottom and each side mid shoulder and closer to the end of my shoulder.
Thank you for helping healthy people wrap their heads around life with chronic illness. Your work benefits everyone. ❤️