@@succulentboi676 That's when you gently say, "Normal sized balls don't hurt when someone sits like this. But I want you to know whatever size you are, you're beautiful in the eyes of God. You're not a freak, you're beautiful and natural, bro. Buuuut if they're swollen and they don't go down within 48 hours, also, go to a doctor." Make it as sincere and sweet and supportive-best-friend as possible and they will never mention it again.
@@morganqorishchi8181 To be fair I don't think that a dude who is making fun of someone for crossing their legs when they sit is going to be very upset by the implication that they have large balls. Seems like something they'd be proud of.
Bro why does my brain keep expecting jarvis to go "im jarvis" and then jordan to go "im johnson" please 😭 this is a curse you guys have to make this happen to save me from it please i am stuck in this unholy loop
"it's not 'am i attractive?' it's 'am i attractive to the people I'm attracted to?'" i literally didn't know anyone else felt this way that's crazy, life changed
i have this exact issue i feel like i’m not the type for my type but it’s also a double whammy with being trans because a part of me feels like they would already have to compromise for me. and in my mind why would they make those compromises?
I'm like this and I've thought about it and my conclusion is that I can't do anything about it lol. I won't be with people I'm not attracted to and if that means I'll be alone then that's it. that's life
i mistook this as like, from an ace perspective, i find it gross to think of people looking at me and deciding i am sexually attractive to them, lmao. i was like, oh, the allo perspective just narrows that same discomfort to people who aren't mutually attractive to them as well! but it also makes sense that it's about appealing for mutual attraction. i can't relate but i would think it is more normal than you think!
Seems like most people insecure about their appearance, do feel this way and it's more a need to hear someone else put into words. Like, "yeah.. that's it. I don't think I'm that ugly necessarily, but ......."
I see this A LOT among the alpha/red pills/whatever. They describe girls in terms so specific, complaining about GIRLS not wanting them, only wanting huge men, money, luxury gifts and restaurants. I'm like, who are these women?? lol they're basically describing IG models who travel to Dubai and Bali every other month. A lot of girls would be interested in them but those aren't the girls they want.. so let's generalize and hate women. (I know that's not OP. I'm just venting lol Sorry
When Jordan said "metrosexual" I straight up paused and had a moment remembering back to the early 2000s when a guys sexuality was questioned simply because he started to style his hair and wear clothing in a way that didnt look like he just fell out of bed. Shit was wild back then.
as a trans guy I really appreciate Sad Boyz’ representation of masculinity and male friendship. It’s not the same effect they talk about wanting to have with young cis men, which I also think is important, but it means a lot to me. A lot of representations of masculinity out there just does not connect with me and it can make me feel dysphoric to feel so disconnected from other men even when I recognize they’re being unhealthy. And when passing just means men feel comfortable being misogynistic around me I don’t want it. Listening to Sad Boyz feels like hanging with The Boys™️ but without the offensive humor I expect from other men, and that’s very validating for me
Yoooo me too! It's dumb that bigotry is like "part" of masculinity, but when men genuinely shun other men for not being bigoted (because it's gay to have empathy I guess?) one can't help but feel excluded. The healthy masculinity in sad boyz is really validating fr!
Not me immediately feeling validated by Anastasia mentioning how she likes kind of messed up teeth. That's always been a thing for me and I've never heard another woman express that.
I wish it felt more validating to hear people say they like wonky teeth. A high school acquaintance said it to me years ago and I think about it sometimes but the bias (in the US at least) against teeth that aren’t perfectly straight and bright white is so hard to let go of when it comes to my own appearance
@@franjkavthe way the US think of teeth is crazy. In the UK, I guess the standard is fairly nice teeth but like you only get braces if you NEED them, rather than for aesthetic purposes. So most people have slightly wonky teeth but it’s honestly rarely something i notice
i'm enby but i adore crooked teeth and front tooth gaps and other peculiarities. they're so cute. perfectly straight ultra white teeth kinda freak me out on commercials and the like... it is so unnatural at some point.
it's definitely yet another classist beauty standard, i have always had crooked teeth (esp the bottom row) and an overbite and growing up i couldn't afford braces and other dental care, feeling self conscious about my teeth and the way my jaw sets. as it turns out...most people i'm interested in don't care or find crooked teeth cute ❤
embarrassed to admit that i've been seeing chiitan ads every single day for months and never noticed that they were ads because he just fits so perfectly into my online experience
My twitter is like 6 months ahead of everyone else with ads and even some "features" and stuff and mine has now evolved from chiitan to just getting literally no ads anymore. Hope everyone else catches up soon.
Jarvis, as a trans masc butch lesbian who thinks about gender way too much I have an explanation to offer on the "you look like a masc lesbian" comment, hopefully without making you uncomfortable. I like thinking of this thing called queer masculinity or genuine masculinity to describe how I want to present myself and what I want to see more of. it's masculine presentation that's masculine for the joy of it or for gender expression and NOT as a shield to hide insecurity or fit in. I think that you were compared to a masc lesbian because the venn diagram of butch lesbians and fashionable men overlaps in genuine masculinity and it's a beautiful thing to me! I know that this doesn't address your concern of "I don't know if I'm attractive to people who I'm attracted to" but I hope it makes you feel a bit better. emo lesbian sending much love to you
I hate that the phrase "Its not you, its me" is so used to the point of cliche but sometimes thats the factual explanation. "Why dont you want a relationship with me?" Well, I have severe depression and I dont think I could handle a relationship at the moment, literally, its not you, its me
I don’t get it either. I’m grey-ace so I can’t speak to attractiveness really but he is quite aesthetically pleasant and he seems interesting and intellectually invigorating. And that’s on top of him seemingly being kind and considerate and liking dogs. 🐩 😊
As a conventionally attractive 6'5" white man, I can say that comments like this are often appreciated, but the internal angst does not go away when my therapist or a friend who likes men reminds me how attractive and wonderful I am. It's such a trip
@@hitopstlthat makes a lot of sense. I definitely know I feel that way about my insecurities. Also, he’s talked about having social anxiety before. For me it makes meeting people always feel at least a little scary.
I relate to Anastasia’s story too much. In high school I was once talking to my crush and we got on the topic of what celebrities we thought were attractive. He was into Taylor Swift and said that it was because in Asian cultures people with small feminine faces are considered attractive. He then proceeded to point out that my faces was the opposite of that. I couldn’t even be mad about it because he seemed to think this was helpful advice for me 😭
AHHHHHHHHHHH NEW BRANDING … I CANT BELIEVE JORDAN WOULDN’T WARN US !!!!! ( i watched the last episode please understand i’m kidding i cant believe i have to say this. )
i feel like it's a little mean to say you can't believe you have to say that because there definitely are people that would say that and it's definitely hard for people to tell sarcasm over text. since it's text yk?
@@comicalmustachetwirlingvillianthat comment thread is absolutely ridiculous. like both of the people that wont shut up like man yk youre in the comments of a yt video right now??
jarvis mentioning the masc lesbian comments while filming this only to go to the creators for Palestine stream the next day and get told he’s dressed like a masc lesbian there during try not to laugh 😭
I love this podcast for so many reasons, man. As a trans guy, I never feel like invisible in this community and I really appreciate how Jarvis/Jordan express their masculinity. It feels authentic and secure in a way you just don't see enough and I feel like I have actually (masc) role models. Keep up the good work!
I just want to say that the talk around body perception was incredibly touching for me. I've always been incredibly skinny, 31 years old at 6'2" and 114lbs as of about a month ago. I've struggled considering myself attractive for as long as I can remember because of this. It's easy to get into a hole about what you think is considered conventionally attractive and think because you don't fit that type, you are considered broken. I've spent this year really pulling myself out of this thought that has plagued me my entire life, and am starting to take back my view of myself, and Sad Boyz has been very instrumental in that. I started going to the gym about a month ago, and while my weight gain has been slow and tempered, it's been a good process to remind myself that no matter what, I'm working to be happy with myself and not care about what others think of how I look. This comment may not make a lot of sense, but I just wanted to say that the conversation resonated with me and wanted to thank y'all again. Keep doing what you're doing!
1:22:27 I attribute the discomfort I feel when someone compliments my appearance to imposter syndrome. It's like, I am already well aware that I'm not attractive, so the fact that you think I am means that I have somehow tricked you into thinking I'm attractive. And now it is only a matter of time before you discover the truth and reject me. But like Jarvis said, that's why it's always important to put yourself in the other person's shoes. How could I possibly be tricked into finding that specific thing attractive if it's actually not? Then I realize I'm just invalidating the other person's experience, so I try my best to take them at their word. People typically don't want to lie to you, and if they do, they're weird for that and it's not you.
I feel so bad for the guy asking what’s wrong with him 😭 I had the experience of guys just wanting to fool around when I was dating, and it made me feel so shit like my personality was broken or something. But I’m married now and I wanna give him a hug and tell him it gets better cause it sucks 😭
chiitan and i have been mutuals for years now, they followed me after i followed them, then at one point i think their account got suspended or something. they followed me back after i followed them the second time. love that crazy otter and their turtle hat friend.
i can’t believe how much i relate to this ep oh my goodness! as a girly who’s also never felt feminine enough & has had issues with disordered eating and body dysmorphia because i have spent my entire life wanting to be perceived as attractive and comparing myself to the people around me i feel like that segment of the pod was something i very much needed to hear, thanks guys
"I'm Wiccan" I just imagine Jordan's incredibly deadpan sense of humor and him making jokes during a ritual while everyone else is trying so, so hard to keep a straight face.
as a lesbian, i will say jarvis is like top five most attractive content creators that i watch regularly. it's not that he looks feminine or womanly or anything he's just a nice looking dude. And he looks clean which probably helps.
I'm so glad Jarvis reminds me I'm watching a podcast or I get scared and confused like a puppy in a new apartment (I love the intro so much it's scratching the itch in my brain)
I had a real hard time with wearing sweatpants as a fat person since media often shows them as slobby and includes sweats as part of that 'slovenly fat person' image, but I loved the 'trying my best' sweatpants and would up loving them and feeling much more comfortable wearing sweats in public! so thank you Jarvis for having inclusive sizes and making those very cool pants. Love the new branding! and I know it's hard to see it in yourself, but all three of you are very attractive in terms of looks, personality, and personal style. for what that's worth coming from a internet rando lol
I 100% feel the body dysmorphia stuff. I'm a recently out trans woman and I've always had this weird complex about my hip shape. They never looked very manly or quite feminine either and it made pants fit on me really awkwardly so I always wore them low waisted. I live in a very diverse city so sometimes I'll just go on a walk and look at people passing by and it reassures me that actually my body is pretty normal and people just look different and that's pretty cool.
The discussion about body perception, especially if you dont know anyone else who looks like you, was so touching. I relate to that a lot, its really nice feeling seen :)
You guys were in my dream last night. You were recording in my living room and kept yelling at me when i walked around for interrupting the show. Also Jacob and Anastasia were there but whenever i tried to look at Jacob he'd throw things at me because i wasnt allowed to know what he looked like ??? Jarvis Jordan why are you haunting my dreams. Explain yourselves.
LMAOOO. I had a dream about Jarvis taking me to his garage to show me his very tiny car. He got in the drivers seat and I got in the passenger seat and the car was so small that my knees were touching the dashboard which caused me to start to panicking.. Anyways, it was still a good Jarvis dream 💀
as someone going thru a rather painful friend breakup that left me questioning my worth, this episode made me feel better and less alone. I, too, find it hard not to believe that people leave because of some innate and objectively negative thing about myself
1:22:48 you put this feeling into words so well 😫 It's like hearing about the things we're ashamed about even in the context of someone loving it, can still cause that uncomfortable feeling
lmfao i didn't realize chitan was being shown to everyone 😂 i assumed my twitter just had no idea what to advertise to me anymore. i usually block every ad i see, but i've yet to block chitan lmao idk he's just a lil guy
1:13:17 him saying it's really happened. As if we wouldn't believe that. The number of lesbians that have the Jarvis fashion sense I've seen is un countable. That being said, it's just comfortable high-quality clothes that look nice. So it's definitely a compliment like he looks down to earth but still puts in a good amount of effort into his appearance.
Jordan is so onto something about having the answers. Cause like if you were breaking up with someone because theyre a shitty person youre probably gonna lie about that to not set them off!
I saw a Chiitan ad that said they were anti advertising so I haven’t blocked them like the other ads lol. Bc it’s just like a harmless silly vid with no scam links to a dumb product
I would like to let Jarvis and Jordan know that I deeply appreciate the segment discussing relationships and breakups. Having recently been removed from my first real “long-term” relationship, much of what you said was difficult to hear as it was exactly what I *needed* to hear. Having no one to talk to about this has lead me to all the wrong conclusions about myself and why it didn’t work out, but you two set me straight with your advice. Even though I didn’t like hearing that I had been fundamentally wrong, I believe it was necessary in order to heal correctly. Thank you, sad boys ❤
sometimes feelings just fizzle and theres no other reason, its not a failure its not anyones fault and i think we have put WAY too much importance on sticking with One relationship forever, if that works and you never fall out of love for 70 years amazing good for you!! if the spark fades in 20 and you want to move on, You should be able to healthily and amicably to that, its a bummer yeah but it Happens nothing lasts forever and instead of spending time on trying to keep a dead relationship going or fretting over what you couldve done to fix it, just Move on and find new happiness
I was rewatching it because I wanted more Sad Boyz and I wanted to say that it was wonderful to see both of you on the Creator's for Palestine stream. I ended up crying at the end. Thanks for speaking up. 💛
One of the worst things about The Swan was they didn't allow the contestants to see themselves during their healing processes. They went to great lengths to make sure the first time the women saw themselves-- after having those major surgeries over their entire bodies at once-- was in full makeup, hair, and wardrobe on set in front of the cameras with the whole team of people who worked on their look watching and clapping. They would be lead over to a covered mirror, and when they said they were ready, that was the first time they were allowed to fully see themselves. At least one contestant broke down screaming she wanted her face back. They put these women through highly restrictive diet plans and constant exercise programs, in addition to impossibly short recovery periods from 10s of simultaneous surgeries. Manufacturing sudden adjustment to those major changes to the self on top what must have felt like two months of torture (and might honestly have been) during the post-surgery depression well known to occur in many?? Then, framing it as a beauty pageant and subjecting them all to judgement against everyone else remodeled on the show?? Deranged production. Depraved. Truly the bleakest age.
my fiance left me recently and said that they “needed more” from a relationship. i felt like i gave them my everything and i’ve been trying to figure out what i wasn’t doing. maybe we just weren’t right for each other
Man you guys really hit the mark with this one...I've personally been experiencing discomfort and insecurity with my appearance because of my alopecia and your episode gave me some more hope! Thanks
This episode hits home hard. I had been broken up with man I've dated for seven years. He fell out of love with me months before he ended our relationship. He lost that attraction. I am left to pick up the pieces and heal. Thank you, Sad Boyz. I love you and I'm sorry.
the discussion about exes not being attracted to you and how to handle all that stuff on both sides will have a lasting impact on me. I've struggled a bit with it in the past but your guys' opinions are so good to hear
New logo looks great, boys! I was anxious when I first noticed changed logo, but then I remembered you guys mentioning that was going to happen, and felt reassured. Thanks for the heads up - it made the transition much more comfortable for me!
As someone that has had severe social anxiety in the past, I have a personal rule that I cannot go more than 2 days without leaving the house (I work in computational biology so this is possible) or else I start getting WEIRD. Everyday is ideal even if it’s a walk around the block. Keeps the activation energy for leaving/socializing low and the scaries at bay.
is there any chance you guys could get someone to do captions for these videos? i have auditory processing issues and it would help me a lot, the auto generated ones are atrocious
I'm just so happy that the percent of young men, boys, and masc they/thems that do listen to this podcast, get good examples of healthy relationships with guy friends AND lady friends. It's so important to represent platonic woman and man relationships to show it actually exists to the people who don't believe it can exist, aaand to show the girlies we are worth being friends with. I saw a woman say once, something like "I understand a man being upset by being rejected physically, but to reject my friendship entirely, makes me feel like my value solely lied in the ability to have sex with me, and that my friendship has no value."
I've been a listener for kind of a long time now to both Sad Boyz and Sad Boyz Nights and I never really pop into the comments but I just wanted to say I was so excited when I saw there was a new episode just now because I listen while I'm working as an independent artist. I have a long shift for myself tonight because I need to finish up some designs I'm making for an event I'm tabling at and listening to this podcast provides me w/ a lot of comfort and is so very entertaining. I think your content comes across very kind and your thoughts are presented w/ care in a way I can't seem to find in most content creators. As a trans and autistic artist thank you for always putting you best foot forward to be empathetic and considerate w/ everything you make! Making content that's comfortable for people like myself to watch is genuinely meaningful. It makes my time working so much more enjoyable then going without
Jordan made me laugh harder than i ever have at a spam DM while just listening to Jarvis just plainly read one aloud. every opinion he has is absolutely illuminated
I’ve been married for five years now every time my husband compliments me I still blush and just try to avoid the conversation because it makes me anxious
it makes me so happy to hear miles getting love from bigger creators, ive been a perfectionist since he started the podcast and hes so fucking funny and talented :))) makes me happy to know hes finding so much success in his independent projects
chiitan is actually not even an official mascot of japan, because of all the wild shit he does the city he claims to be a mascot for has made statements condemning and distancing themselves from chiitan 😭 i love u chiitan
YEEEES 57:58 Your producer is fuckin right. I keep steppin' and don't focus on those who don't love me. I don't wanna live a life where I'm not myself.
I am just here in the comments to say that Jarvis and Jordan are like, right up at the top of my parasocial crushes next to Dev Patel. But I get how hard it is to not obsess over flaws and feel bad or compare yourself all the time.
Okay I need to understand why people date others they are not physically attracted too…. That’s just so bizarre to me. I have never started anything unless the physical and emotional aspects are there.
hearing yall talk about body image & self perception in dating as cis guys was really interesting to me because as a trans guy ive experienced very similar thought patterns and anxiety towards my masculinity. i feel like my self-critique to fit a Gender Role (TM) manifests as somewhat gender dysphoric, irrational thoughts, but thought it was really interesting to see how that affects cis guys. it's like i hold an image in my head of the Perfect Man to become, even though that isn't what I find attractive or is a standard i would hold anyone else to. didn't expect that to hit so close to home for me!
All of that is true, but also I got broken up with 4 times in a year with variations on "I'm just not into you anymore" and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked and so I haven't really dated since 2014, lol. ETA: to be clear, I didn't ASK WHY they were breaking up with me. They just offered the information in their exit interview.
From my personal experiences as someone who has ended relationships and been broken up with, it didn't feel fair that they assumed the person who made that video had asked about why they were being broken up with. As a way to soften the blow of the break up, I have listed all the great things about them and the relationship and then added what doesn't work for me. And people have done that to me as well.
new layout is so cool boyz !!!! (also, very much enjoyed the conversation/topic at the end, i'd personally rock w it if u did more like that but its ok if not! i love every episode anyway)
I vibe with what Jordan and Anastasia were saying about being self-conscious and being mixed. Being half Uzbek and half Serbian is wild because there just flat-out are not Central Asian characters in media that's available in English. And there's only 50k Uzbek people in the US at all, so the only Uzbek people I know, I'm related to. I think my brain would actually shut down on sight if I saw another mixed Uzbek person on TV or on a movie or something. At the same time, going to Uzbekistan really rewired a lot of the parts of my brain that are insecure about my looks, because while I'm the pale one out over there, other than that I am in fact incredibly normal there. It really made me pause and go, "...oh. I'm not weird or ugly. I'm just Uzbek. This is, in fact, normal."
"this is a community that says when either of us sits bisexually" while they're both sitting in the most bisexual way ever
My coworkers made fun of me for crossing my legs when I sit and asked me if my balls hurt (I am a cis man 😔). I have bisexual sitting
@@succulentboi676 That's when you gently say, "Normal sized balls don't hurt when someone sits like this. But I want you to know whatever size you are, you're beautiful in the eyes of God. You're not a freak, you're beautiful and natural, bro. Buuuut if they're swollen and they don't go down within 48 hours, also, go to a doctor." Make it as sincere and sweet and supportive-best-friend as possible and they will never mention it again.
@@morganqorishchi8181 To be fair I don't think that a dude who is making fun of someone for crossing their legs when they sit is going to be very upset by the implication that they have large balls. Seems like something they'd be proud of.
@jeb4513 unfortunately probably true, however that's why you gotta make it as sincere and awkward as possible. The award part is important.
@@casteanpreswyn7528 lol I like the way you think. I’m big on out-awkwarding someone intentionally in moments like this 😂
Bro why does my brain keep expecting jarvis to go "im jarvis" and then jordan to go "im johnson" please 😭 this is a curse you guys have to make this happen to save me from it please i am stuck in this unholy loop
Idky i’m not relieved that it’s not just me. Instead i feel more justified in wanting it to happen
every time 😭
I really thought this was just me 🥴
I feel like they've done everything but that and I think they're doing it just to make special little ol me mad
ME TOOO
"it's not 'am i attractive?' it's 'am i attractive to the people I'm attracted to?'"
i literally didn't know anyone else felt this way that's crazy, life changed
i have this exact issue i feel like i’m not the type for my type but it’s also a double whammy with being trans because a part of me feels like they would already have to compromise for me. and in my mind why would they make those compromises?
I'm like this and I've thought about it and my conclusion is that I can't do anything about it lol. I won't be with people I'm not attracted to and if that means I'll be alone then that's it. that's life
i mistook this as like, from an ace perspective, i find it gross to think of people looking at me and deciding i am sexually attractive to them, lmao. i was like, oh, the allo perspective just narrows that same discomfort to people who aren't mutually attractive to them as well!
but it also makes sense that it's about appealing for mutual attraction. i can't relate but i would think it is more normal than you think!
Seems like most people insecure about their appearance, do feel this way and it's more a need to hear someone else put into words. Like, "yeah.. that's it. I don't think I'm that ugly necessarily, but ......."
I see this A LOT among the alpha/red pills/whatever. They describe girls in terms so specific, complaining about GIRLS not wanting them, only wanting huge men, money, luxury gifts and restaurants. I'm like, who are these women?? lol they're basically describing IG models who travel to Dubai and Bali every other month. A lot of girls would be interested in them but those aren't the girls they want.. so let's generalize and hate women. (I know that's not OP. I'm just venting lol Sorry
i was so alarmed by the logo change that i accidentally swerved straight into oncoming traffic how could you guys my debt is insurmountable
i think they should add a disclaimer to people who drive while projecting this video onto the windshield of their cars, just in case
@@are_ya_wynning_sonokay but can they warn us before adding that disclaimer? I'm driving.
@@melbapeach162they’ll need to add a loud siren so I can hear. Just in case I’m looking at my beer bottle instead of the road.
As a cis guy, masc lesbians are the peak of my fashion aspirations
Same. Masc lesbians have drip and it looks effortless.
YAY SAD BOYZ YOU CAPTURED A MALE VIEWER YIPPIE!!!
When Jordan said "metrosexual" I straight up paused and had a moment remembering back to the early 2000s when a guys sexuality was questioned simply because he started to style his hair and wear clothing in a way that didnt look like he just fell out of bed. Shit was wild back then.
If he carried a messenger bag…
If he looked like he showered at least once a quarter...
@@notbot2648 its gay to be clean, didn't you know?
@@elleeeeish You know, I have heard this to be the case so it must be true.
@@notbot2648 rip all straight men amirite
as a trans guy I really appreciate Sad Boyz’ representation of masculinity and male friendship. It’s not the same effect they talk about wanting to have with young cis men, which I also think is important, but it means a lot to me. A lot of representations of masculinity out there just does not connect with me and it can make me feel dysphoric to feel so disconnected from other men even when I recognize they’re being unhealthy. And when passing just means men feel comfortable being misogynistic around me I don’t want it. Listening to Sad Boyz feels like hanging with The Boys™️ but without the offensive humor I expect from other men, and that’s very validating for me
I'm exactly the same. I'm litterally here to have healthy masculinity modelled for me. It's realy important
I thought it was just me, I feel the exact same!!
I’m in the same boat!
Yoooo me too! It's dumb that bigotry is like "part" of masculinity, but when men genuinely shun other men for not being bigoted (because it's gay to have empathy I guess?) one can't help but feel excluded. The healthy masculinity in sad boyz is really validating fr!
Sad boyz really is a breath of fresh air
Not me immediately feeling validated by Anastasia mentioning how she likes kind of messed up teeth. That's always been a thing for me and I've never heard another woman express that.
I love Avril Lavigne's jagged teeth. I just looked it up and I guess she got her teeth done 😢
I wish it felt more validating to hear people say they like wonky teeth. A high school acquaintance said it to me years ago and I think about it sometimes but the bias (in the US at least) against teeth that aren’t perfectly straight and bright white is so hard to let go of when it comes to my own appearance
@@franjkavthe way the US think of teeth is crazy. In the UK, I guess the standard is fairly nice teeth but like you only get braces if you NEED them, rather than for aesthetic purposes. So most people have slightly wonky teeth but it’s honestly rarely something i notice
i'm enby but i adore crooked teeth and front tooth gaps and other peculiarities. they're so cute. perfectly straight ultra white teeth kinda freak me out on commercials and the like... it is so unnatural at some point.
it's definitely yet another classist beauty standard, i have always had crooked teeth (esp the bottom row) and an overbite and growing up i couldn't afford braces and other dental care, feeling self conscious about my teeth and the way my jaw sets. as it turns out...most people i'm interested in don't care or find crooked teeth cute ❤
The phrase “relationships are not a court of law” genuinely changed my entire perspective.
Damn...
embarrassed to admit that i've been seeing chiitan ads every single day for months and never noticed that they were ads because he just fits so perfectly into my online experience
Real ones know about chiitan BEFORE the twitter ads 😤
My twitter is like 6 months ahead of everyone else with ads and even some "features" and stuff and mine has now evolved from chiitan to just getting literally no ads anymore. Hope everyone else catches up soon.
@@kirrb-dot-exe FACTS
as a bi girl, blokes that have masc lesbian style are *extremely* hott. it’s always a compliment
As a bi(kinda, would take too long to explain) man, I agree 100%.
Am queer, can confirm that Jarvis dressing like a masc lesbian is a compliment 💚
As someone who identifies as a stem, I second this. Jarvis is outfit inspo and gender envy at the same time.
im more of a jordan kinda queer, personally
I secretly love it when Jordan does accents and imitates people
secret’s out, then!
@@soldiaz7261 nah it's just u guys.
I think he definitely could have been an impressionist in another life
Jarvis, as a trans masc butch lesbian who thinks about gender way too much I have an explanation to offer on the "you look like a masc lesbian" comment, hopefully without making you uncomfortable.
I like thinking of this thing called queer masculinity or genuine masculinity to describe how I want to present myself and what I want to see more of. it's masculine presentation that's masculine for the joy of it or for gender expression and NOT as a shield to hide insecurity or fit in.
I think that you were compared to a masc lesbian because the venn diagram of butch lesbians and fashionable men overlaps in genuine masculinity and it's a beautiful thing to me!
I know that this doesn't address your concern of "I don't know if I'm attractive to people who I'm attracted to" but I hope it makes you feel a bit better. emo lesbian sending much love to you
"for the joy of it or gender expression and not as a shield to hide insecurity or fit in" is such a GREAT way to word that omg
JORDANS HAIR LOOKS SO GOOD
I'm not the only young person going grey yay and I'm only 25
salt and pepper zaddy- _sorry_
the salt and pepper is so nice :’)
Very 70's fro
@@BigMontey u not alone. I've had a single grey since high school, it got some friends in my late 20s
I hate that the phrase "Its not you, its me" is so used to the point of cliche but sometimes thats the factual explanation. "Why dont you want a relationship with me?" Well, I have severe depression and I dont think I could handle a relationship at the moment, literally, its not you, its me
Jarvis always talks about having a hard time dating and I get confused every single time because I would date the crap out of a boy like him.
And they always talk about big/wonky teeth! my teeth are an insecurity for me but hearing them talk so lovingly about it a huge pleasant surprise.
I don’t get it either. I’m grey-ace so I can’t speak to attractiveness really but he is quite aesthetically pleasant and he seems interesting and intellectually invigorating. And that’s on top of him seemingly being kind and considerate and liking dogs. 🐩 😊
As a conventionally attractive 6'5" white man, I can say that comments like this are often appreciated, but the internal angst does not go away when my therapist or a friend who likes men reminds me how attractive and wonderful I am. It's such a trip
@@hitopstlthat makes a lot of sense. I definitely know I feel that way about my insecurities.
Also, he’s talked about having social anxiety before. For me it makes meeting people always feel at least a little scary.
I relate to Anastasia’s story too much. In high school I was once talking to my crush and we got on the topic of what celebrities we thought were attractive. He was into Taylor Swift and said that it was because in Asian cultures people with small feminine faces are considered attractive. He then proceeded to point out that my faces was the opposite of that. I couldn’t even be mad about it because he seemed to think this was helpful advice for me 😭
Loving Anastasia taking on a more active talent role, the vibes are immaculate and i think we all love hearing additional perspectives
Absolutely.
as a masc lesbian yes it is a compliment, and I would usher Jordan under that umbrella as well
Definately a compliment and definitely true
they're literally wearing the exact same outfit in this episode, and it's very lesbian coded
AHHHHHHHHHHH NEW BRANDING … I CANT BELIEVE JORDAN WOULDN’T WARN US !!!!! ( i watched the last episode please understand i’m kidding i cant believe i have to say this. )
i feel like it's a little mean to say you can't believe you have to say that because there definitely are people that would say that and it's definitely hard for people to tell sarcasm over text. since it's text yk?
@@sporkspork8446it’s not that deep
@@sporkspork8446don't think it's that deep man
if i didn't see the other comment with that enitre thread of replies, i too, wouldn't have believed that you had to say that you're joking 😭😭
@@comicalmustachetwirlingvillianthat comment thread is absolutely ridiculous. like both of the people that wont shut up like man yk youre in the comments of a yt video right now??
jarvis mentioning the masc lesbian comments while filming this only to go to the creators for Palestine stream the next day and get told he’s dressed like a masc lesbian there during try not to laugh 😭
I love Madam Web, literally one of the funnest theater experiences I’ve had in a minute LMAO it’s so funny
I love this podcast for so many reasons, man. As a trans guy, I never feel like invisible in this community and I really appreciate how Jarvis/Jordan express their masculinity. It feels authentic and secure in a way you just don't see enough and I feel like I have actually (masc) role models. Keep up the good work!
I just want to say that the talk around body perception was incredibly touching for me. I've always been incredibly skinny, 31 years old at 6'2" and 114lbs as of about a month ago. I've struggled considering myself attractive for as long as I can remember because of this. It's easy to get into a hole about what you think is considered conventionally attractive and think because you don't fit that type, you are considered broken. I've spent this year really pulling myself out of this thought that has plagued me my entire life, and am starting to take back my view of myself, and Sad Boyz has been very instrumental in that. I started going to the gym about a month ago, and while my weight gain has been slow and tempered, it's been a good process to remind myself that no matter what, I'm working to be happy with myself and not care about what others think of how I look.
This comment may not make a lot of sense, but I just wanted to say that the conversation resonated with me and wanted to thank y'all again. Keep doing what you're doing!
1:22:27 I attribute the discomfort I feel when someone compliments my appearance to imposter syndrome. It's like, I am already well aware that I'm not attractive, so the fact that you think I am means that I have somehow tricked you into thinking I'm attractive. And now it is only a matter of time before you discover the truth and reject me. But like Jarvis said, that's why it's always important to put yourself in the other person's shoes. How could I possibly be tricked into finding that specific thing attractive if it's actually not? Then I realize I'm just invalidating the other person's experience, so I try my best to take them at their word. People typically don't want to lie to you, and if they do, they're weird for that and it's not you.
I feel so bad for the guy asking what’s wrong with him 😭 I had the experience of guys just wanting to fool around when I was dating, and it made me feel so shit like my personality was broken or something. But I’m married now and I wanna give him a hug and tell him it gets better cause it sucks 😭
You’re a day early for pride month logo changes
It's never too early. Lol
chiitan and i have been mutuals for years now, they followed me after i followed them, then at one point i think their account got suspended or something. they followed me back after i followed them the second time. love that crazy otter and their turtle hat friend.
Lookin more like cousins than ever with the hair + mustache combo *edit* - wait and the button downs + dark jeans
For real my mom was like who are these two, they look so alike, are they brothers?😂
I was gonna say! They look like brothers today
1:12:41 coming from a lesbian, jarvis does indeed occasionally dress like a masc lesbian and it is 1000000% a complement
Between the seemingly endless accents and the plain timber of his gorgeous voice, I humbly request Jordan narrate every audiobook from henceforth.
i can’t believe how much i relate to this ep oh my goodness! as a girly who’s also never felt feminine enough & has had issues with disordered eating and body dysmorphia because i have spent my entire life wanting to be perceived as attractive and comparing myself to the people around me i feel like that segment of the pod was something i very much needed to hear, thanks guys
"I'm Wiccan" I just imagine Jordan's incredibly deadpan sense of humor and him making jokes during a ritual while everyone else is trying so, so hard to keep a straight face.
"Gonna blaze up this sage real quick"
*everyone else trying not to die of laughter*
as a lesbian, i will say jarvis is like top five most attractive content creators that i watch regularly. it's not that he looks feminine or womanly or anything he's just a nice looking dude. And he looks clean which probably helps.
I'm so glad Jarvis reminds me I'm watching a podcast or I get scared and confused like a puppy in a new apartment
(I love the intro so much it's scratching the itch in my brain)
I had a real hard time with wearing sweatpants as a fat person since media often shows them as slobby and includes sweats as part of that 'slovenly fat person' image, but I loved the 'trying my best' sweatpants and would up loving them and feeling much more comfortable wearing sweats in public! so thank you Jarvis for having inclusive sizes and making those very cool pants. Love the new branding! and I know it's hard to see it in yourself, but all three of you are very attractive in terms of looks, personality, and personal style. for what that's worth coming from a internet rando lol
Also, it became a trend to wear sweatpants now because of kpop so eff it all honestly. Wear what makes you happy and comfy.
this ep lowkey felt like therapy lmao, i needed that energy
I 100% feel the body dysmorphia stuff. I'm a recently out trans woman and I've always had this weird complex about my hip shape. They never looked very manly or quite feminine either and it made pants fit on me really awkwardly so I always wore them low waisted. I live in a very diverse city so sometimes I'll just go on a walk and look at people passing by and it reassures me that actually my body is pretty normal and people just look different and that's pretty cool.
I love that you finally replaced the harry potter books with manga lmfao
Obsessed with Jordan’s South African accent that somehow sounded ever so slightly French
As a gold toothed ex skate rat who hit his head one too many times I have been given newfound confidence in my cheeky smile again thankyou! 😂
The discussion about body perception, especially if you dont know anyone else who looks like you, was so touching. I relate to that a lot, its really nice feeling seen :)
You guys were in my dream last night. You were recording in my living room and kept yelling at me when i walked around for interrupting the show. Also Jacob and Anastasia were there but whenever i tried to look at Jacob he'd throw things at me because i wasnt allowed to know what he looked like ??? Jarvis Jordan why are you haunting my dreams. Explain yourselves.
LMAOOO. I had a dream about Jarvis taking me to his garage to show me his very tiny car. He got in the drivers seat and I got in the passenger seat and the car was so small that my knees were touching the dashboard which caused me to start to panicking.. Anyways, it was still a good Jarvis dream 💀
as someone going thru a rather painful friend breakup that left me questioning my worth, this episode made me feel better and less alone. I, too, find it hard not to believe that people leave because of some innate and objectively negative thing about myself
1:22:48 you put this feeling into words so well 😫 It's like hearing about the things we're ashamed about even in the context of someone loving it, can still cause that uncomfortable feeling
lmfao i didn't realize chitan was being shown to everyone 😂 i assumed my twitter just had no idea what to advertise to me anymore. i usually block every ad i see, but i've yet to block chitan lmao idk he's just a lil guy
It’s sick to have dudes being non toxic about social situations
new boyz let’s goooo i’m gonna eat lunch to this SO hard
1:13:17 him saying it's really happened. As if we wouldn't believe that. The number of lesbians that have the Jarvis fashion sense I've seen is un countable. That being said, it's just comfortable high-quality clothes that look nice. So it's definitely a compliment like he looks down to earth but still puts in a good amount of effort into his appearance.
WOOOO THAT REDESIGN
Chii-tan is literally the ONLY ad I don’t immediately block on twitter
Jordan is so onto something about having the answers. Cause like if you were breaking up with someone because theyre a shitty person youre probably gonna lie about that to not set them off!
Thank you for unironically being the best father figures I’ve ever had
I saw a Chiitan ad that said they were anti advertising so I haven’t blocked them like the other ads lol. Bc it’s just like a harmless silly vid with no scam links to a dumb product
An ad that said it was anti advertising?? 😅
I would like to let Jarvis and Jordan know that I deeply appreciate the segment discussing relationships and breakups. Having recently been removed from my first real “long-term” relationship, much of what you said was difficult to hear as it was exactly what I *needed* to hear. Having no one to talk to about this has lead me to all the wrong conclusions about myself and why it didn’t work out, but you two set me straight with your advice. Even though I didn’t like hearing that I had been fundamentally wrong, I believe it was necessary in order to heal correctly. Thank you, sad boys ❤
Anastasia trying to make a pokemon joke and it going over their heads is so funny to me
sometimes feelings just fizzle and theres no other reason, its not a failure its not anyones fault and i think we have put WAY too much importance on sticking with One relationship forever, if that works and you never fall out of love for 70 years amazing good for you!! if the spark fades in 20 and you want to move on, You should be able to healthily and amicably to that, its a bummer yeah but it Happens nothing lasts forever and instead of spending time on trying to keep a dead relationship going or fretting over what you couldve done to fix it, just Move on and find new happiness
Thank you! This helps more than you know 🎉
I was rewatching it because I wanted more Sad Boyz and I wanted to say that it was wonderful to see both of you on the Creator's for Palestine stream. I ended up crying at the end. Thanks for speaking up. 💛
JORDANNNNN THE BEARD LOOKS SO GOOD ON U
One of the worst things about The Swan was they didn't allow the contestants to see themselves during their healing processes. They went to great lengths to make sure the first time the women saw themselves-- after having those major surgeries over their entire bodies at once-- was in full makeup, hair, and wardrobe on set in front of the cameras with the whole team of people who worked on their look watching and clapping.
They would be lead over to a covered mirror, and when they said they were ready, that was the first time they were allowed to fully see themselves. At least one contestant broke down screaming she wanted her face back.
They put these women through highly restrictive diet plans and constant exercise programs, in addition to impossibly short recovery periods from 10s of simultaneous surgeries.
Manufacturing sudden adjustment to those major changes to the self on top what must have felt like two months of torture (and might honestly have been) during the post-surgery depression well known to occur in many?? Then, framing it as a beauty pageant and subjecting them all to judgement against everyone else remodeled on the show?? Deranged production. Depraved. Truly the bleakest age.
y'all are really inspiring me to force myself to socialize more and be intentional about it
my fiance left me recently and said that they “needed more” from a relationship. i felt like i gave them my everything and i’ve been trying to figure out what i wasn’t doing. maybe we just weren’t right for each other
Man you guys really hit the mark with this one...I've personally been experiencing discomfort and insecurity with my appearance because of my alopecia and your episode gave me some more hope! Thanks
jordan looking great in this episode fr
This episode hits home hard. I had been broken up with man I've dated for seven years. He fell out of love with me months before he ended our relationship. He lost that attraction. I am left to pick up the pieces and heal.
Thank you, Sad Boyz. I love you and I'm sorry.
Thanks you for the care and thought you put into these discussions. Beautifully affirming 😊
Loving the redesign!
the discussion about exes not being attracted to you and how to handle all that stuff on both sides will have a lasting impact on me. I've struggled a bit with it in the past but your guys' opinions are so good to hear
New logo looks great, boys! I was anxious when I first noticed changed logo, but then I remembered you guys mentioning that was going to happen, and felt reassured. Thanks for the heads up - it made the transition much more comfortable for me!
As someone that has had severe social anxiety in the past, I have a personal rule that I cannot go more than 2 days without leaving the house (I work in computational biology so this is possible) or else I start getting WEIRD. Everyday is ideal even if it’s a walk around the block. Keeps the activation energy for leaving/socializing low and the scaries at bay.
5:44 OH GOD JORDAN'S SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT LMAO
is there any chance you guys could get someone to do captions for these videos? i have auditory processing issues and it would help me a lot, the auto generated ones are atrocious
Not sure when they were added, but wanted to let you know they currently have English captions.
I'm just so happy that the percent of young men, boys, and masc they/thems that do listen to this podcast, get good examples of healthy relationships with guy friends AND lady friends. It's so important to represent platonic woman and man relationships to show it actually exists to the people who don't believe it can exist, aaand to show the girlies we are worth being friends with. I saw a woman say once, something like "I understand a man being upset by being rejected physically, but to reject my friendship entirely, makes me feel like my value solely lied in the ability to have sex with me, and that my friendship has no value."
I've been a listener for kind of a long time now to both Sad Boyz and Sad Boyz Nights and I never really pop into the comments but I just wanted to say I was so excited when I saw there was a new episode just now because I listen while I'm working as an independent artist.
I have a long shift for myself tonight because I need to finish up some designs I'm making for an event I'm tabling at and listening to this podcast provides me w/ a lot of comfort and is so very entertaining. I think your content comes across very kind and your thoughts are presented w/ care in a way I can't seem to find in most content creators. As a trans and autistic artist thank you for always putting you best foot forward to be empathetic and considerate w/ everything you make! Making content that's comfortable for people like myself to watch is genuinely meaningful. It makes my time working so much more enjoyable then going without
Jordan is looking gorgeous the hair, beard and tattoos i am obsessed
Jordan made me laugh harder than i ever have at a spam DM while just listening to Jarvis just plainly read one aloud. every opinion he has is absolutely illuminated
the friendship meta is so helpful for me
I’ve been married for five years now every time my husband compliments me I still blush and just try to avoid the conversation because it makes me anxious
jordan’s sense of humor is so funny
Thank you to all of yous for sharing and for an awesome episode
it makes me so happy to hear miles getting love from bigger creators, ive been a perfectionist since he started the podcast and hes so fucking funny and talented :))) makes me happy to know hes finding so much success in his independent projects
chiitan is actually not even an official mascot of japan, because of all the wild shit he does the city he claims to be a mascot for has made statements condemning and distancing themselves from chiitan 😭 i love u chiitan
you guys make me so happy
YEEEES 57:58 Your producer is fuckin right. I keep steppin' and don't focus on those who don't love me. I don't wanna live a life where I'm not myself.
I am just here in the comments to say that Jarvis and Jordan are like, right up at the top of my parasocial crushes next to Dev Patel. But I get how hard it is to not obsess over flaws and feel bad or compare yourself all the time.
Also just remarking here that Anastasia and I look remarkably similar and that is also very wonderful
No bc they’re both so fine
Okay I need to understand why people date others they are not physically attracted too…. That’s just so bizarre to me. I have never started anything unless the physical and emotional aspects are there.
AHHH THE LOGO IS DIFFERENT I HAVE BEEN JUMP SCARED!!!! If only there was a warning about this on a previous episode so I wouldn’t be so shocked
Pissing and shidding because I forgot you warned me (personally) about the rebrand
hearing yall talk about body image & self perception in dating as cis guys was really interesting to me because as a trans guy ive experienced very similar thought patterns and anxiety towards my masculinity. i feel like my self-critique to fit a Gender Role (TM) manifests as somewhat gender dysphoric, irrational thoughts, but thought it was really interesting to see how that affects cis guys. it's like i hold an image in my head of the Perfect Man to become, even though that isn't what I find attractive or is a standard i would hold anyone else to. didn't expect that to hit so close to home for me!
All of that is true, but also I got broken up with 4 times in a year with variations on "I'm just not into you anymore" and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked and so I haven't really dated since 2014, lol. ETA: to be clear, I didn't ASK WHY they were breaking up with me. They just offered the information in their exit interview.
Honestly the relationship talk is helping me feel better
You guys were super funny on the try guys stream, thanks for doing charity work for pali!
NEW LOGO LOOKS SO GOOD!!!
Love the new branding Boyz! Very clean. Very cool 👍
cant believe they got friend of the show Ira Glass on the pod! good job guys!
I needed the second half of this podcast more than y'all know
From my personal experiences as someone who has ended relationships and been broken up with, it didn't feel fair that they assumed the person who made that video had asked about why they were being broken up with. As a way to soften the blow of the break up, I have listed all the great things about them and the relationship and then added what doesn't work for me. And people have done that to me as well.
new layout is so cool boyz !!!!
(also, very much enjoyed the conversation/topic at the end, i'd personally rock w it if u did more like that but its ok if not! i love every episode anyway)
I vibe with what Jordan and Anastasia were saying about being self-conscious and being mixed. Being half Uzbek and half Serbian is wild because there just flat-out are not Central Asian characters in media that's available in English. And there's only 50k Uzbek people in the US at all, so the only Uzbek people I know, I'm related to. I think my brain would actually shut down on sight if I saw another mixed Uzbek person on TV or on a movie or something. At the same time, going to Uzbekistan really rewired a lot of the parts of my brain that are insecure about my looks, because while I'm the pale one out over there, other than that I am in fact incredibly normal there. It really made me pause and go, "...oh. I'm not weird or ugly. I'm just Uzbek. This is, in fact, normal."