Chris Distefano Has A Pride Month Crush | Your Mom's House Ep. 765
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ค. 2024
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Pull your jeans all the way up over your head because Tom Segura and Christina P are back for another week of Your Mom's House Podcast! We start off with a really sweet birthday shoutout for a YMH Studios staff member and immediately change the vibe with some very cool opening clips. They next discuss the trend of tattooed freckles and fake straight white teeth, before debating a question that has swept the internet, "man or bear?"
Then, we welcome our guest, comedian Chris Distefano who has been doing some moving around New York recently and is still traumatized from his guest spot on YMH Live all those years back. Chris has some thoughts on straight farts, self-acceptance, and saving lives. Chris Distefano also may or may not have a little crush on an actor from the Netflix show Baby Reindeer. All that plus some TikToks!
tomsegura.com/tour
christinaponline.com/tour-dates
store.ymhstudios.com
/ yourmomshousepodcast
Your Mom’s House Ep. 765
TH-cam Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:06 - Happy Birthday Heather!
00:09:48 - Opening Clips
00:12:43 - Freckles
00:17:02 - Straight White Teeth
00:21:59 - Cool Guy or Bear?
00:29:04 - Bear Mauling
00:34:59 - From Staten Island to Queens
00:42:06 - Chrissy Chaos and Tampa Tony
00:48:54 - Men's Retreat
00:56:55 - Straight Farts
01:03:10 - Self Acceptance and Sound Advice
01:07:26 - Baby Reindeer
01:11:58 - Nava Mau
01:18:50 - Traumatized by YMH Live
01:25:48 - Saving Lives
01:29:54 - TikToks - ตลก
![[TH] Esports World Cup : Knockout Stage Day 1](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ES-vr-FarFg/mqdefault.jpg)
Nothing makes me feel better about my life than hearing Chris talk about his life
Dudes life is multiples better than yours if you are commenting on TH-cam videos. 😂😂
Chrissy is just Mac from It's Always Sunny in real life 🤣
GoaT comment
Christina’s “I’d just like get away from the bear somehow” has real Bert energy.
Shes 100% female Bert. Probably smells the same.
Kristina is losing her mind 😅
She's drinking the feminism Kool-Aid as is every woman in the office. Never underestimate a woman's ability to misunderstand or purposely misconstrue statistics to appease her ego and victim mentality
She's just in her Elton John style phase. But gayer.
I like how Tom asked Chris if he's bulking up and Chris immediately launched into the whole story of his impulsive house sale 🤣
What happened there? Heard him on Rogan & was genuinely worried about him. Seems better here.
It seems like he does therapy and then uses pods as a sort of subtherapy to process his verbal diarrhe some more. I'm here for it as long as it's benefiting him and his health. Transitional periods can be tumultuous and hes definitely in one. I'm sad Hey Babe is on a "hiatus", but I'm excited for him and Matteo's new pod Teach Me Daddy 🤪 @samanthab1923 @@samanthab1923
Everytime Chrissy names himself another Chrissy name, I laugh too hard 😂
Chrissy Classics
The way Tom wanted to call every woman in that room stupid for choosing the bear. I felt it
Ok but, men, would you rather be driven around by a woman, or driven around by a bear?
Christina could walk past a literal rapist in the woods and would likely be unharmed. she’s like 50 years old. the risk outweighs reward lol
Grizzly bears eat their prey alive, from the crotch outward, to keep them fresh as long as possible. That's maybe something to consider. I'd rather be love-touched, personally.
@@J-Cizzle45 A woman because bears can't drive.
@@thainesmith here's the funny part about the hypothetical Nobody said the man in the woods HAD to touch you. It's just which one would you rather encounter. To say bear is absolutely insane. And to think you could reason with a bear is also insane. I don't know what would make someone think being eaten alive is not so bad.... Smh I couldn't imagine the hell that must feel like.
“I’ll connect my farts to the resurrection of Jesus.” - Chris DiStefano 😂😂😂
Chrissy truly lives up to his name and being chaotic asf🤣
Christina’s brain is literally rotted by tik tok
shes got issues. tom should upgrade to a 24 year old.
If you can work from home or you need a side hustle please let me know because we have lots of openings. You can also work around your children as well. Hope this helps.
Genuine chrissy chaos always steals our hearts, makes us laugh, and gives us herpes
I miss Chrissy chaos. He's all Chrissy drama and manic now.
Chrissy thick hips is a fav
@@lordfordification not sure what you classify as chaotic but I’d say those fit
@@MattMcLeod6 fair, it felt like the chaos was fun before, even if it was manufactured. Now the chaos feels real. I agree with Mom and Dad, Chrissy spreads anxiety
I thought it was Joe List that was giving everybody herpes
The tattooing freckles joke by Tom was 1000% on point 😂😂
Holy shit lmao I'm so glad she chose the bear hahahah, let her win the Darwin award already!
Heather if an episode is late we now know it’s you
We don’t miss uploads
leave her alone
She’s getting older, dude. Be nice.
@@rogue_z3451 You don't miss meals.
Hate
From Amsterdam
Never heard happy birthday sung as a funeral durge.
That's the ONLY way I've heard it sung. Aaaand that's why I hate it
What tf is a durge?
Dirge* 🤓
I just wanted to hug Chris Destefano because he displays all the classic symptoms of bipolar disorder. I hope he’s talking to someone.
I was literally thinking the same thing it's pretty concerning lol
Kristine commenting on other people’s appearance is actually funny 😂
Selling a house with a 3.1% mortgage and buying a car that depreciates in value faster than a rock sinks in the ocean, this guy is definitely R-worded 😂
And selling below market rate screwing the comps value for his neighbors.
I think he lives the name chaos too much. Chrissy Comedy not making retarded decisions to ruin his family would still be a funny comedian
He makes a lot more money than normal people though. Any time he wants he can go on tour and make 6 figures easy. Aka he can afford to be financially irresponsible
Chrissy not so financially smart
@@jasonpwndthis isn't true at all. Chris doesn't bring crowds, he can fill some clubs. His podcasts barely if ever hit 100,000 views in a week
Fed smoker drops are the best
Sometimes during the day I’ll ask myself. “But what about fed smoker?”
You gotta get it goin bud
RIP, I miss his content
I took my daughters to Vid Con the social media influencer convention and which is very LGBT heavy I knew I had to rock YMH so I wore my Fed Smoker shirt whole time I was there I thought what Tom would think of this place
Entire episode to hear Chris figure out what we already know about him 😂😂
I like it when Christina & Tom watch a video for the first time with a guest. It's fun to see their surprised reactions.
Any episode with Chris is going to be a classic 😂
Yeah, real classic. "Am i gay, am i not gay? I like penis but also vagina", so classic. Same points for years now.
There is no chance you'll escape the grizzly bear Christina your gone lol
*you’re
@@candacec8857 howd he job here that fuck face!?
@@candacec8857 ya'll
25:30 Christine that is hilarious
The “trauma of a mauling” lol. Sure, there is no PTSD certainly. Because you are dead, eaten alive by that Grizzly. 😅
And to think you could get over your face and body being mutilated if you survive over the insanely small chance of getting penetrated is insane as well.
Women choosing the bear is a great example of how women think emotionally instead of with statistics and logic. Virtual 100% chance of a painful and drawn out death versus at max of 0.5% chance of being forcibly touched.
It's fucking bonkers. Like even if it the 50/50 chance and the bear your odds seem better with a coin flip than a hungry predator. Thank God force touch isn't the flip of a coin also 😅
If you’re trying to escape said encounter, you might have a chance to flee from a man. A bear on the other hand will forcibly remove your face if you try to run.
If somebody hands you a box of 100 Maltesers and says "6 of these are balls of shit disguised as Maltesers", are you taking your chances and eating the Maltesers? No. What women are saying is, they would literally rather die than possibly be raped. That's their prerogative to feel that way.
Christina needs to appreciate Unk Shine’s messages. 😒
HEYYY CHRISTINA
“If it’s this nauseating for you why are you doing it??” 😂😂
Christina has a tramp stamp… and gets face lifts, 😂 the irony
Don't forget though that she's "goth"!!
David Lucas - Id rather be with a bear than a woman, at least the Bear knows what it wants to eat
Ba dum TSS!
As someone with freckles my entire life I hate these people
As sm1 with none...i hate them maybe more...but im a psycho too
I love freckles on girls - they're really pretty...But tattooing them on is just weird.
@@daverz15 if they are hot to begin with yah 🤣
Yeah, we got made fun of for our freckles back in the day and had to find our self esteem despite that. These people are participating in stolen valor!
I was ripped on and called all sorts of shit for freckles in school. And for the clothes I wore. Guess what? EVERY single thing we got ripped on for is cool among the kids now.
Christina and Tom: *entertains gender pretenders and others because "don't make fun of people for things they can't change."*
Also Christina and Tom: "Freckles are fucking gross! Cover that shit up!"
I hope this episode doesn’t turn into a counseling session. Chris seems to enjoy that. 😂
It’s a full on session. lol
@@emilydegeorge9059
I hope it ends with tom divorcing both his fat husbands eventually
every podcast apperance i shim crying about his anxiety. And not even like every podcast in a year, EVERY PODCAST YEAR AFTER YEAR.
It did.
1:22:39 mommy taking her glasses off to see if she's seeing it right 😭😂
That jump cut at 1:08 makes me wonder how long dude talks about his foot fetish. This episode is tokked
Tommy just scared to do the naked hugging cause he knows he'll enjoy it
You know, I've learned these lessons the hard way. I bought a BMW yesterday.
Chris needs help. Poor guy.
I was about to comment saying how shocking it is that Christopher's wife hasn't left him yet, but the beamer is worse. Way to set that bar jeans 😂
Even Crissy's sexuality is chaotic. We live.
"Forcibly love touch" 😂😂😂
According to Reddit..... you are over 2000 times more safe with a random man than a random bear.
I just wish we could put it to the test. All the women who pick bear should get to spend an hour in a room with a bear. All the women who pick men get to spend an hour in a room with a man. The women saying bear are being disingenuous to the exercise because they know it's hypothetical, and the ones who are being serious don't matter, because thanks to the bear, they're dead.
@@GoadedGoblin Well yeah. Instead of actually engaging with the hypothetical they're taking it as a moment to get on their podium, in classic feminist fashion, and shit on men. And if you push back you are a pick-me or 'part of the problem'. Or maybe some people would rather be pinned down and eaten alive than raped I guess
Well, if Reddit says so...
It's not about statistics, it's about perceived danger. I'm with Christina, I'll take my chances with a bear.
@@jeanaprewitt9658 lmao yeah i was being a bit humorous with the Reddit remark. If you are for sure going to encounter a bear or a man in the woods...I think it would be easier to get away from a man than a 600 lb bear that can run up to 35 mph....
In the scenario is the man an adventurous hiker or does he like… LIVE in the woods. Cause those are 2 very different people 😅
Sometimes I feel like Chrissy is not that happy but is afraid to leave his girl and just acts and says crazy things to make her leave 🤣🤣🤣
Or he's absolutely happy and found a woman who loves him no matter how r-worded or unfaithful he is.
Have you seen her? She's gorgeous.
christina: "you're supposed to hide and be ashamed of your inperfections."
christina: does this show anyway
Releasing an episode on June 26th and plugging dates for June 8-10 is r worded 😂
I went back to make sure I hadn't misheard, need better episode management if they're going to bank them
GETTT OFFFFF.
😂😂😂
Tattooed freckles is r-worded!!
That fad lasted 3 months last year. These fools are R worded indeed.
That birthday song killed me 😂😂😂
chrissys reaction at 1:02:12 has me busting up! lmaoooooo
"How many bears have mauled humans" As if they live and work with the public every day LOL
I wish I could like this another thousand times.
Agreed lol @@jeanaprewitt9658
Black bears in the US on average kill less than one person per year. 🐻🐻🐻🐻
@@katerraborkowski5846 and?
Yeah, Christina does not think about many things she says. But that's broads for ya
16:44 freeze frame and 8.0x zoom in on Enny’s face… he HAS the Morgan Freeman freckles already, they’re just not as pronounced as Morgan’s are 😂❤
I don't even want to get his information from you, I'll find him by myself 😂😂😂
24:27 do they know most times the bear won't un-life you first? Those mofos just start chewing!
Bruh I almost threw up at work I'm front of my boss during the shit brush
That tiktok trend blows my mind. Its a bear. You have a higher chance of not getting SAd versus DYING.
Yeah, it's all rage bait. Man vs bear is the same as woman vs tree. All for the Algo.
Oh and men never murder woman?
Well, there goes my soup I just finished eating as the nice gentleman started brushing his teeth
Yeah! Im getting liver spots tattooed on my hands before I get them from old age!😂😂😂
Christina gets her news and personality from tik tok
And her indoor sunglasses
Personality?
She is the worst person.
She is a treasure. I adore her and her comedy.
@@Mikey10CooksYour bar is low.
---> *_Every gahdddamn time Chrissy is on a pod my blood pressure rises. Could we crowdfund him a "Money Guy", so he doesn't fkcu up his life again?_*
He's the Uncut Gems of comedy and I'm here for it.
I get 2nd hand anxiety from the guy 😂 Fawwwwkk
Why crowdfund when he has more than enough to hire one
@@DardanosB Right, these people make more money in a year than most of us will in a lifetime. If you want to support him buy tickets to his shows.
Lol. I almost gagged at the toothbrush guy
God damn I haven't half skipped through a video in along time. Thanks Tom.
Bro …. SPIT IT OUT CHRIS!!!! good lord 😂
What Would You Rather. Be in the woods with a bear. Or get pulled over my a female police officer?
*Men only
Depends on if the officer is hot or on a power trip and your black.
@@TeddyBremmer I’m white as shit cracka
Definitely the bear 😂
Well I could easily get away from a female officer so duh the officer. What kind of dumb question is this.
I'm so involved in this bear .. force touching conversation its ridiculous 😂😂😊😊
Every time I think Christina can’t be anymore dumb or idiotic, she shares her opinion and somehow blows my mind
Chris gives me anxiety also, and my life is terrible, he is unbelievably wild and crazy lmfao
Thanks Christine for still making fun of us peeps with freckles 💀
"Chrissy Grey Zone" had me ⚰
"Why don't you get some Morgan Freeman freckles?" 🤣
Cristy’s take grizzly bear debate is wild to me.
Its R worded that's why
GETTT OFFFFF
Tom's facial expression after hearing that fart 😂😂😂😂😂
The face Tom made when Christina says she only goes to basketball games for dong gazing🤣
I could abuse my body in my 20s. At 30, a hangover became a possible death sentence.
i’m 21 and can’t do hangovers am i cooked
@@Kontiio No, just nurse a drink or two throughout whatever escapade or respectable dinner you find yourself in and stay hydrated. I did that more often than not and was fine...it's the "nots" that'll get you.
It's more likely alcoholic ketoacidosis, which feels like death that many people think is a hangover. It happens if you drink too much over a night and don't have enough glucose in your system. If you're gonna drink in your 30s you need to drink water that whole day before and make sure you take your vitamins.
just wait till 40.....
It's directly related to dehydration and not eating enough carbs to offset the alcohol. When I get a hangover, I know exactly why. Also, mixed drinks are horrible, too much sugar especially mixing with Pepsi or any soft drink.
Oh my god Christina in road rules
Cant find it anywhere
There were a bunch of road rules shot but not aired. Basically means she was uninteresting all the way back then too
Season 6 th-cam.com/video/gVxt_BiakK4/w-d-xo.html
Christina’s laugh after Tom brings up the coffee/enamel topic… lmao, so glad they left that in
There's no way the guy who ate his own excretions has kids. He has to have a dominatrix that told him to do it.
I absolutely hate the double soul shaman
I used to feel that way. But I would watch him all day rather than watch the shit eaters
Me too. I think he’s super gross.
Ya know what’s even stronger than a man a bear lmfao
Josh is grown up Snot from American Dad 😂
That fart sounded like cracking your back 😂😂😂😂
Hahaha, you're really making me feel great about my 31st birthday Tina 😂 I've got no money saved and I'm decaying evidently. 🤣 I did quit smoking atleast 🤷♀️
Might as well pick it back up now you’re almost dead 😥
@@Wildoddity hahahaha true, good call.
the "bear vs. man" issue has become a de facto intelligence test.
"i would get over being mauled by a bear" is a failing grade.
apparently it's a bigger deal than we think.....YT has been deleting my comments like crazy since this dumb debate started.
I've posted so many logical reasons why I would choose man vs bear, and they all disappear moments after I hit send.
i guess not wanting to be eaten alive by bears goes against the community guidelines 🤷♀️
Oh you don't understand women at all lol
@aresjerry questioning my womanhood hard now, bc no way im choosing the bear.
if i see a bear in one direction, and a man fishing/camping in the other, and i have to pass one of em, im making a beeline to the man.
I've always had healthy relationships with the men in my life, and i view them more as protectors than a threat.
* and can you plz lmk if you can see this comment? i made a comment in this thread an hour ago about my comments on this debate being deleted, and now i don't see it.....
@jenn2894 it's just a sht test, it's like when chick's say "will you still love me if I was a Worm babe?"
@aresjerry those are cute, fun questions that women used to ask playfully......now everyone's so aggressive and hostile
" he wouldn't peel my orange and it hurt my feelings worse than being mauled by a bear😭"
lmao, tf is even going _on_ ?
Love the humility in this ep all around while remaining funny and doing what y’all do best. Feels nice. 😇
Easy on the freckles Christina 😂😂
Chrissy talking about "choosing a side" felt like a Star Wars Force analogy. I feel like we are so close to seeing Crissy's fall to the Dark Side complete
Even if the man in the woods DID decide to attack vs the Grizzly that WILL attack do women think they have a better chance at fighting off a grizzly than a man???
They believe bears just walk away when they aren’t feeling threatened. But they forget if you’re close enough to see the bear you might as well already be dead.
Why do ya’ll think women are thinking of a “walk away” scenario…?
It's about being attacked randomly not fighting off an attack
@@NinaNeko4because thats the hypothetical?
It's because they feel the attack of the man is a more real threat. Its not, but people can conceptualize that and not an animal attack. It's not a logical question they're being asked really, just an emotional one. Their opinion makes sense. Even if it's insane.
I need a nap and a therapist after this one! 😂
Chrissy comes to life when the ball cupping ritual is revealed.
The bear situation mentality is mind boggling. So dumb
If you're in the woods and you'd rather be face to face with a bear than a man, you deserve the bear
Notice her answer all based on feeling, not facts.
It’s worse than that it’s completely irrational and sexist the rapist also has a feeling is that justified and is his truth worthy or are they both just dumb and worthless
What it demonstrates is that almost all women have had a terrible experience with a creepy/violent man, but never with a wild bear. It's all based on personal experience.
@JDK516 that's certainly a perspective, but, I dont believe you need to have experienced a bear attack to come to the conclusion that it would be the most horrific thing you would ever have to endure. If her take truly is she'll risk the likely 100% chance of a bear mauling her over the less than 1% chance of a random dude assaulting her, that's kinda crazy. I could see tom trying to lead her into realizing the absurdity but it was never gonna sink in
Bears will eat you while you are alive too. Watch "Grizzly Man"
He's gonna eat the whole thing? Hahahaha!
Morgan freeman freckles took me out lol
Ladies could fight off a man easier than a fuggin bear. She’d have a better chance of survival fighting a man than a bear.
This is why women are bad at gambling
That's not the point. A bear is not likely to attack you unprovoked. A man with no witnesses around is a different story.
@@JDK516 Grizzly Man and his girlfriend were both eaten whole by an “unprovoked bear.”
@@JDK516 A man is likely to attack a woman unprovoked? According to what?
@@farexponent9173 Only 5 deadly bear attacks reported in North America in 2021. 4,970 women were killed by humans (overwhelmingly male) in 2021. You can see why women might take their chances with a bear.
Christina tryna act like she didn’t say that shit at the beginning in this episode.😂 She’s wearing the same clothes and glasses. Ffs.
Shoutout to Sydney Sweeney’s mommy milkers!😘
Not Christina projecting onto Chris lol
the bear question is a crystal clear illustration of how women's thinking is led by feelings
What’s logic and reason?😂
Chrissy has such ymh energy like the theme song feels like it’s always playing in his head
Christy is baffled by Chrissys gayness
I love watching this shit (literally) at work. Thank you mommies. Love you Chrissy!
I'm still waiting for Tom to say alright bring out the bear
I remember seeing a clip of a girl saying she would choose the bear becuase it would be aleast a quick clean death if it happened. AH NO, that bear is pinning you to the ground with one paw, and taking bites out of you until its had its fill. the bear/man discourse had to one of the all time women moments of the last 4 years.
The Revenant was so visceral, I’m now practically afraid of bears instead of just hypothetically. An absolutely horrifying way to die - any predator that doesn’t kill first, really
Their point is not the likelihood of death, its the likelihood of SA. Its having to carry around that weight.
@@RegularFlyGuy yeah still dumb. whats a heavier weight being eating alive or..
@@RegularFlyGuysure, but it's nearly 100% chance of death and a horrible painful death at that. Meanwhile it is an extremely low chance a random man in the forest is there to forcibly touch someone. More likely he's an outdoorsy guy who could probably help you if you're lost.
the whole bear convo is a perfect example of how sheltered people are from primal threats. the idea you could somehow fight off/get away from the bear but not the man is actual insanity lmfao
…. You think women don’t know they’ll be k*lled by the bear when they choose it?
I think the idea is that more often than not, you will not get attacked by a bear, because even if you poll people that hike in the deep wilderness the number is still lower than assaults. Bears only give a fuck about people in a handful of circumstances and those are so few and far between when you actually encounter them. If the animal changes to something like a tiger, who will for sure attack you unless you see it first, then the points might change but bears rarely attack if you just happen upon them in the woods.
"Oh the humus cannon. That's how you get peace in the middle east" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Lol never knew Chris was such a chaos hound 😂 super entertaining though 🤣