Gay men over the age of 45 or 50 are likely to have undiagnosed symptoms of PTSD as survivors from the AIDS pandemic. Anxiety and loneliness go hand in hand. This can be compounded by our obsession with youth and beauty. The paradox is that younger folks tend to have fewer resources and need mentoring about how to live more successful lives. I believe we need to start by healing ourselves and that means getting help in dealing with trauma. Older gay folks are often considered irrelevant but may actually hold some wisdom in dealing with our challenges today.
The notion that Pepper mentions of turning off social media to take a break is very important. Social media can give us unrealistic expectations, in addition to those experienced in real life. For those of us who have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), including myself, this is an added layer of a type of anxiety which can detract from living a fully satisfying life. Fortunately, targeted prescription medications and cognitive therapy have helped me to live a more normal life. The ways of coping that Pepper mentions, including exercise, taking a break from social media, getting together or talking with loved ones and having passions or hobbies are all truly worthwhile, I have found as well. I also like Michael's discussion of purposely not avoiding anxiety and confronting it or working through it. This is a key tenet of cognitive behavioral therapy for OCD as well as exposure and response prevention. Great episode!
So glad you made this comment. Yes, there are so many types and degrees of anxiety and equally just as many ways to help (i.e. therapy, meds, prevention, etc.)
Being gay, 50s and single for 12 years - the lack of response or the drop of communication on dating apps and reaching out to interesting guys on social media since I’m so far away geographically from gay third spaces and gatherings is a key contribution to my anxiety. Then the financial issues of what it would mean to move to where gay people live keep me up at night. Nature and the mountains here in rural colorado do help make me feel at peace when I can tune in and tune out my gay angst.
Thank you for sharing your experience so openly. It’s understandable that the distance from gay communities and the challenges with online communication would contribute to feelings of anxiety, especially when paired with the financial worries of moving. It’s a tough situation to navigate, but we're glad to hear that nature and the mountains provide you with some peace. It’s important to have those moments of calm, even amidst the challenges. You’re not alone in feeling this way.🥰
This had my name ALL OVER IT! Even though I have not officially been diagnosed, and I don’t think it’s clinically critical, definitely do think that my level of anxiety is much higher than it is for most people. I’ll have to watch it again to take notes on the tips and really do my homework! Thank you for this, truly. Big hugs.
We're glad you found it helpful! Remember, self-awareness is key. 🧠 Taking notes and doing your homework can make a big difference. 📝 Keep prioritizing your well-being. Virtual hugs! 🤗
As a bisexual man in his 70s living in Midwest small town USA, there is no community for me. So, I keep my mouth shut, move quietly among the straight conservatives, and adjust. Anxiety? Yep!!
Gosh, the guests and episodes just keep getting better and better. I found "Pepper" to be extremely articulate. I subscribed when y'all had about 1k followers, keep up the great work!
I find that often gay men behave very poorly and treat each other very unkindly. This is what I struggle the most at the moment. I wish all gay men could behave more genuinely and graciously and kindly. Instead you get walls and masks and sexual exploitation and envy. Very frustrating. IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE BODY AND ACHIEVEMENTS. The inner world is far more important. What I really can't stand anymore is the histerical lashing out
Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to hear that our work has made a positive impact on your life. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to reach out.🤗❤
Thank you for highlighting strategies to overcome anxiety and being overwhelmed. Covey's Circle of Influence has been instrumental in empowering me to discern between what I can influence and what I cannot, enabling me to focus my energy where it truly matters.
We're glad to hear that! It's empowering to distinguish between what we can control and what we can't, allowing us to channel our energy effectively. Keep focusing on what truly matters, and keep up the great work!💪
Good morning Gay Men’s Brotherhood, First time I have openly come out at work. I totally identify with this type of anxiety and stress. I have been dealing with a lot people who are ignorant and grew with the stereotypical wrong concept and misunderstanding of gay people. I am Latino and my culture is very judgmental and uneducated about gay people. I have to put up with a lot comments that are not cool at work but I don’t really know how to approach their comments so I just laugh it out. Thank you for this episode.
In my case im more and more accepting myself and my emotions/ feelings. I think that will help me to have less anxiety. Feelings and or emotions can help me. They are messagers as your body is. Thank you both for opening up🙏🏻
That's wonderful to hear! Accepting and embracing your emotions is a powerful step towards reducing anxiety. Your feelings are indeed important messages from within. Keep listening to your body and honoring your emotions-it's a journey of self-discovery and growth. Thank you for sharing your experience with us!😍❤
Going to my fitness facility here at the park plus going hiking on my days off help with my anxiety. But the loneliness really can get to me still and I get drawn into the screen looking for connections.
It’s great that you have your fitness routine and hiking to help with your anxiety-that connection to nature and physical activity can make such a difference.❤
You're very welcome. It really is a privilege, and it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone has access to those same supportive environments. Recognizing this can help us appreciate what we have and advocate for those who may not have the same opportunities. Thank you for reflecting on that.😍
Hey Pepper The best thing you can do for you're anxiety is to Move out of the most pretentious place on earth West Hollywood ! Anyone with half a brain would be thrilled to have you in their life so keep the faith ! Love you guys❤️
Thank you so much for your supportive message! It's always encouraging to hear words of advice and love from our community. We'll keep your suggestion in mind and continue striving to create a positive and authentic space for everyone. Your kind words mean a lot to us. The team loves you too!😍💖
I’m sort of getting a crush on Pepper and would love to have the chance to go on a date with them. At mid fifties I’m probably not in the right age range though
Thank you so much for shareing this. Same Feelings during this time alone on the countryside in germany broke without anybody overthinking what about my feauture etc... Take care guys. YOUR PODCASTS HELPED ME A LOT❤
We're glad to hear that our podcasts have been a source of support for you during this challenging time. Remember, it's okay to feel uncertain about the future, and you're not alone. Take care of yourself!💖
Going to my fitness facility here at the park plus going hiking on my days off help with my anxiety. But the loneliness really can get to me still and I get drawn into the screen looking for connections.
Gay men over the age of 45 or 50 are likely to have undiagnosed symptoms of PTSD as survivors from the AIDS pandemic. Anxiety and loneliness go hand in hand. This can be compounded by our obsession with youth and beauty. The paradox is that younger folks tend to have fewer resources and need mentoring about how to live more successful lives. I believe we need to start by healing ourselves and that means getting help in dealing with trauma.
Older gay folks are often considered irrelevant but may actually hold some wisdom in dealing with our challenges today.
So very true.
Tell me about it! I'm a 70-year-old gay man .
Some of the best social spaces for gay people are the ones that attract multigenerational folks, like the radical faeries
Having authentic connections during greetings and check ins is a powerful cultural upgrade we can all adopt for kindness and care.
The notion that Pepper mentions of turning off social media to take a break is very important. Social media can give us unrealistic expectations, in addition to those experienced in real life. For those of us who have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), including myself, this is an added layer of a type of anxiety which can detract from living a fully satisfying life. Fortunately, targeted prescription medications and cognitive therapy have helped me to live a more normal life. The ways of coping that Pepper mentions, including exercise, taking a break from social media, getting together or talking with loved ones and having passions or hobbies are all truly worthwhile, I have found as well. I also like Michael's discussion of purposely not avoiding anxiety and confronting it or working through it. This is a key tenet of cognitive behavioral therapy for OCD as well as exposure and response prevention. Great episode!
So glad you made this comment. Yes, there are so many types and degrees of anxiety and equally just as many ways to help (i.e. therapy, meds, prevention, etc.)
Being gay, 50s and single for 12 years - the lack of response or the drop of communication on dating apps and reaching out to interesting guys on social media since I’m so far away geographically from gay third spaces and gatherings is a key contribution to my anxiety. Then the financial issues of what it would mean to move to where gay people live keep me up at night. Nature and the mountains here in rural colorado do help make me feel at peace when I can tune in and tune out my gay angst.
Thank you for sharing your experience so openly. It’s understandable that the distance from gay communities and the challenges with online communication would contribute to feelings of anxiety, especially when paired with the financial worries of moving. It’s a tough situation to navigate, but we're glad to hear that nature and the mountains provide you with some peace. It’s important to have those moments of calm, even amidst the challenges. You’re not alone in feeling this way.🥰
This had my name ALL OVER IT! Even though I have not officially been diagnosed, and I don’t think it’s clinically critical, definitely do think that my level of anxiety is much higher than it is for most people. I’ll have to watch it again to take notes on the tips and really do my homework! Thank you for this, truly. Big hugs.
We're glad you found it helpful! Remember, self-awareness is key. 🧠 Taking notes and doing your homework can make a big difference. 📝 Keep prioritizing your well-being. Virtual hugs! 🤗
As a bisexual man in his 70s living in Midwest small town USA, there is no community for me. So, I keep my mouth shut, move quietly among the straight conservatives, and adjust. Anxiety? Yep!!
We understand how challenging it can be to feel unseen or unsupported in your community. Your resilience is commendable. 💪
Gosh, the guests and episodes just keep getting better and better. I found "Pepper" to be extremely articulate. I subscribed when y'all had about 1k followers, keep up the great work!
Aww thank you Ricardo! Glad you're enjoying the episodes
I find that often gay men behave very poorly and treat each other very unkindly. This is what I struggle the most at the moment. I wish all gay men could behave more genuinely and graciously and kindly. Instead you get walls and masks and sexual exploitation and envy. Very frustrating. IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE BODY AND ACHIEVEMENTS. The inner world is far more important. What I really can't stand anymore is the histerical lashing out
Horizontal hostility - oppressed people who take it out on each other.
You guy's work is life saving and life changing. Thank you for the guidance and support!
Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to hear that our work has made a positive impact on your life. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to reach out.🤗❤
Thank you for highlighting strategies to overcome anxiety and being overwhelmed. Covey's Circle of Influence has been instrumental in empowering me to discern between what I can influence and what I cannot, enabling me to focus my energy where it truly matters.
We're glad to hear that! It's empowering to distinguish between what we can control and what we can't, allowing us to channel our energy effectively. Keep focusing on what truly matters, and keep up the great work!💪
Good morning Gay Men’s Brotherhood,
First time I have openly come out at work. I totally identify with this type of anxiety and stress. I have been dealing with a lot people who are ignorant and grew with the stereotypical wrong concept and misunderstanding of gay people. I am Latino and my culture is very judgmental and uneducated about gay people. I have to put up with a lot comments that are not cool at work but I don’t really know how to approach their comments so I just laugh it out. Thank you for this episode.
Alexis that is a great example of minority stress, esp the intersectionality of being Latino and gay.
In my case im more and more accepting myself and my emotions/ feelings. I think that will help me to have less anxiety. Feelings and or emotions can help me. They are messagers as your body is. Thank you both for opening up🙏🏻
That's wonderful to hear! Accepting and embracing your emotions is a powerful step towards reducing anxiety. Your feelings are indeed important messages from within. Keep listening to your body and honoring your emotions-it's a journey of self-discovery and growth. Thank you for sharing your experience with us!😍❤
Going to my fitness facility here at the park plus going hiking on my days off help with my anxiety. But the loneliness really can get to me still and I get drawn into the screen looking for connections.
It’s great that you have your fitness routine and hiking to help with your anxiety-that connection to nature and physical activity can make such a difference.❤
Thanks for mentioning how much of a privilege it is to live and thrive in a gay populated urban center in a progressive country.
You're very welcome. It really is a privilege, and it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone has access to those same supportive environments. Recognizing this can help us appreciate what we have and advocate for those who may not have the same opportunities. Thank you for reflecting on that.😍
Hey Pepper
The best thing you can do for you're anxiety is to Move out of the most pretentious place on earth West Hollywood !
Anyone with half a brain would be thrilled to have you in their life so keep the faith !
Love you guys❤️
Thank you so much for your supportive message! It's always encouraging to hear words of advice and love from our community. We'll keep your suggestion in mind and continue striving to create a positive and authentic space for everyone. Your kind words mean a lot to us.
The team loves you too!😍💖
I’m sort of getting a crush on Pepper and would love to have the chance to go on a date with them. At mid fifties I’m probably not in the right age range though
Thank you so much for shareing this.
Same Feelings during this time alone on the countryside in germany broke without anybody overthinking what about my feauture etc...
Take care guys. YOUR PODCASTS HELPED ME A LOT❤
We're glad to hear that our podcasts have been a source of support for you during this challenging time. Remember, it's okay to feel uncertain about the future, and you're not alone. Take care of yourself!💖
hold in there
❤🎉Yas 🎉❤
❤🎉love🎉❤
This would be wonderful if pepper woudnt be checking his phone all the time
Going to my fitness facility here at the park plus going hiking on my days off help with my anxiety. But the loneliness really can get to me still and I get drawn into the screen looking for connections.